The Mess That We'll Become
by PleaOfInsanity
Summary: Her ability wasn't something she liked to publicly acknowledge. She knew she could handle herself, knew she could hold her own and when she needed to, she did. However, her line of work within SHIELD rarely called for her to use it. She wasn't an assassin, she wasn't a combative field agent; She was purely recon and intel gathering. She was Aurora Dugan. She was a Legacy. CapxOC
1. Aurora

**Show Me That You're Human**

 **Chapter 1: Beauty's on the Surface**

"Champagne, Madamoiselle?"

Agent Aurora Dugan tipped expensive sunglasses down her nose to look up at the waiter. Familiar eyes belonging to one of her partners, Agent Jasper Sitwell, looked back at her and she smiled sweetly.

" _Merci_." She replied, taking the flute of champagne he was offering.

"Can I get you anything else?" He asked, his voice taking on a bored and slightly exasperated tone. Three weeks spent waiting on patrons of the _Hotel de Paris_ as well as his partner was enough to wear any agent thin.

" _Non, c'est tout_." She waved her hand in dismissal, lifting the glass to her lips in case she laughed. This was probably one of the better undercover missions she'd ever been on. Living in a lap of luxury as a French socialite sure beat being a maid in a government official's quarters, which had been the other mission that had been on the table for her. "That will be all."

"Jas looks like he's about to blow his lid at you, love _._ " Agent Arthur Falsworth chuckled from where he stood beside her, his tall frame casting a shadow half across her body.

Rory turned her head toward where he stood. "Jasper is undercover and drew the short straw so Jasper needs to stop sulking." She replied, smiling. She smirked as Jasper walked past her again, glaring daggers in her direction..

" _Easy for you to say, 'Mademoiselle Dartois'._ " Jasper grunted into the small microphone and earpiece embedded in his ear. " _Why couldn't I have been the bartender? Or a second bodyguard?"_

"Because like Rory said, you drew the short straw and I'm the body guard, Rosalie isn't impressive enough for her to need two." Arthur pressed his finger to his ear to reply. "Although I'd gladly change. It's bloody hot in this suit."

Rory smiled and shook her head, listening as Arthur swore into their secure line. Her eyes scanned the lavishly expensive pool area of the hotel for their target. This lifestyle was definitely an eye-opener for a girl from Boston. While she hadn't grown up lacking, she hadn't exactly grown up with everything either and she had been taught that you had to work hard for what you got.

These people however, didn't work for anything and by the looks of some of them, they probably never had. Still, it was fun to pretend to be part of their world for a small time.

"There's your man, _Rose_. 12 O'clock by the bar." Arthur murmured down to her and she trained her eyes on where he said.

Sure enough her eyes fell on a man in his late thirties who was dressed in an expensive kaftan suit and sunglasses. His body was casual but angled toward her.

"He's watching me." She murmured back, a smirk gracing her lips. Three weeks and they were finally getting somewhere.

"I should hope so. You look so good you're practically illegal."

Rory chuckled and shook her head, standing. "Oh hush you. I'm going to the bar." Winking at Arthur she stretched her hands above her giving both Arthur and their target an eyeful of long legs and tanned skin.

" _I'm surprised we haven't wrapped this up earlier with the way he's looking at you."_ Jasper sighed. Rory started to walk toward the pool, leaving Arthur to watch over her.

"Well we know he's naturally suspicious. He's probably run all sorts of background checks on her, but he's definitely had his eye on her since we got here." Arthur replied, finger to his ear again. "Can you blame him? Look at that arse." Aurora could hear the smirk and resisted turning around to flip him the bird.

She couldn't reply but decided to give all three of them a good show by stepping to the edge of the pool, arching up on her toes and then diving into the cool blue water.

She emerged in the shallows and walked up the incline toward the bar, water dripping off of her to splash at her feet. She wanted to laugh at the dramatics of it all.

" _I feel like that was a visual 'fuck you', Arthur."_ Jasper snorted down the line.

Rory smirked and stalked to the bar.

"Marcus." She smiled happily, pressing a kiss to both of his cheeks as he straightened to greet her. " _Lovely to see you again_." Her French was flawless and she switched seamlessly from English.

" _Rosa, you look beautiful. Is the water nice?"_ He replied with a chuckled. She nodded and wiped her face on the towel Jasper hurried over to her.

" _Oh yes. Lovely."_ She nodded. "You should join me." She slipped back to English so Arthur and Jasper could listen along easier as neither of them were particularly good with French. The spoke enough of it to get by but rapid conversations sometimes were lost on them.

"Perhaps later." Marcus nodded. "Would you like a drink?" He gestured to the bartender waiting patiently in front of them.

" _Oiu. Please. Martini with a dash of orange. Merci."_ She nodded and placed her order. She turned back to Marcus, flashing a pearly white smile.

He was an investment banker from Germany who SHIELD suspected of funding multiple terrorist cells, including Hydra. Rory's job was to gain his trust and gather as much informations about him as she possibly could to send back to SHIELD. The mission was ongoing and long and even she wasn't sure how long they wanted her here.

She's spent the last three weeks integrating herself with this life by socialising within his circles and getting to know him. She was beginning to think Arthur might have been better 'equipped' for the job as he'd kept his distance right up until a few days earlier when he invited her to dinner with his friends.

"Did you enjoy dinner with us the other day, Rosa?" He asked as the drinks were slid toward them. She nodded and picked up her glass.

"I did. Your friends are lovely." She sipped her martini, keeping her eyes out for Jasper and Arthur, both of who were watching her from a respective distance.

"They had so many nice things to say about you, I just had to find them out for myself. Charlotte tells me your father is also a banker?"

"Mhm, yes." She smiled. "Papa works with some investment firm in Paris." She waved her hand and rolled her eyes. "It's all business to me. I don't understand the half of it."

Marcus laughed lightly and he nodded. "There's quite a bit to understand but I'm sure you're smart enough to pick it up." He turned his back on the bar and Rory could clearly see the long scar that ran down his cheek. His file stated that he'd received the scar in a car accident but there was no evidence to really back up that claim. The man was very good at keeping his background and his story under wraps. That was part of the reason why SHIELD was so interested in him.

"I'm sure you'd make it more interesting than Papa ever could anyway." She laughed, high pitched and girlish and she added a small twirl of her hair around her finger for added flirt.

" _You're too good at this, love."_ Arthur chuckled. Her lip twitched and she cleared her throat.

"Well how about I give it my best shot," Marcus replied, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. There was a smile on his face, a cunning one that she expected he considered flirtatious. "Over dinner. Tonight. With you."

Rory sipped her drink as she thought about it. "Where should we go?" She asked, bringing her lip between her teeth.

"I am quite partial to one of the restaurants here. Do you eat seafood?"

" _What girl from the South of France doesn't?"_ She tittered, reaching out to stroke his arm. He gently clasped her wrist with his fingers and tugged her closer to him, turning his body so he faced her. "That sounds lovely so I'll see you tonight?"

" _Excellent. I look forward to it."_ He dipped his head close and pressed his lips to hers. She responded softly before she pressed his chest to push him away. She shook her head, a slow smile spreading across her lips.

" _Ah now. You need to buy me dinner first._ " She laughed and gently pulled out of his embrace.

" _What the lady wants."_ He bowed his head lightly. "I will meet you in the foyer at seven."

"Seven sounds great." She drained the rest of her drink and flicked her finger for Arthur to join her.

"Who would that be?" Marcus asked, his eyebrows raising high and pulling the scar taught.

She rolled her eyes dramatically and glanced at Marcus. "Christian. My bodyguard. Papa was worried about me being on my own here for so long. He believes he has some enemies." She laughed and pressed her hand to his bicep, squeezing lightly. "No need to be worried, he has a lovely boyfriend named Jasper back in London. This is strictly work."

" _You are so going to pay for that one. If Arthur could talk right now…"_ Jasper struggled not to laugh as Arthur made his way toward her.

"Oh I'm not worried, my dear." Marcus smiled and placed his hand over hers. He brought it up to his lips and pressed a kiss to the soft skin. "I will see you at seven." He promised. Rory nodded, smiling happily.

"I will see you then." She glanced up at Arthur, who wore a stone-faced expression and beckoned to him. "Come on, Christian."

She turned on her heel and walked from the pool, into the resort.

"Gay, love? Really? With Jasper?" Arthur hissed under his breath as they walked to her suite. "I have better taste than that!"

* * *

The girl in the mirror was immaculate. Honey blonde hair trailed down her tanned shoulders, a bright yellow dress hugged her slight curves and her makeup highlighted her light brown eyes, making them look amber in any light. She was so beautiful that Rory almost didn't recognise herself.

"Damn Arthur, how do you manage to dress me better than I dress myself?" She sighed, turning to face her friend. He was holding out her gun and shrugged a shoulder. She took the gun and pulled the dress up her leg to slot it into the holster on her inner thigh. She straightened, rolling her eyes at Arthur as his eyes lingered on her legs.

"Because I have taste and I know what a man likes on a woman." The Brit picked up her earpiece and held it out for her. "and any man would be stupid to deny you."

She grinned at him and took the small device, pressing it deep into her ear. "Well I'm hoping he doesn't but I'm not putting money on it tonight. I know we're close but if he trusts me a little more then I might be able to stick around in the future and learn some real dirty secrets." She turned back to her reflection and double-checked none of her weapons or devices could be seen.

"You don't have to do this, you know." Arthur stepped up behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. She leant into him and sighed.

"It's my job, Artie. I will do whatever it takes to get that information." She set her jaw and looked him square in his bright blue eyes.

"I don't want you to get hurt." Arthur sighed. Rory brought one of her hands up and squeezed his knuckle gently.

"That's why you're in my ear, remember." She pressed her cheek against their hands and smiled. "You're with me wherever I go."

"Yes, and I unfortunately hear everything." He pulled a face, letting his other hand drop down to her hip. " _Everything_." He spun her around so she was facing him and she placed her hands on his chest.

Rory's cheeks blushed but she squared her shoulders. "It's mostly faked anyway." He let out a sigh and she shook her head, murmuring. "I can see why Natasha works alone." She pulled away from him but he caught her around the hips and brought her back.

"Promise me if you're uncomfortable, you'll send me a signal so I can get you out?" His bright baby blues bore into her amber eyes with such intensity that Rory couldn't reply. Arthur cared about her, she knew this, they'd been friends longer than they'd been agents due to their grandfathers serving in World War Two together on a specialist team called _The Howling Commandos_ ; but this was more than the normal worry.

"Artie, I've done missions like this before." She reached up and cupped her hand to his cheek. "It's just a mark and it's just a bed, besides, the plan is to drug him before taking off my clothes so we'll be fine, ok?"

"Promise me." He squeezed her hips a little tighter and she nodded.

"I promise if I'm in any kind of trouble I will get myself out, _or_ ," She added as his eyes narrowed. "I will ask for your help, ok?"

He leant forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Ok. Remember our code?"

"Lovely weather we're having." She replied easily. Arthur smiled and nodded.

"That's my girl. Now we should go, before I lock the door and have my way with you myself." He stepped away from her and adjusted the black turtleneck and jeans combo he'd opted for as her bodyguard. "How do I look?"

"Smooth." She replied, picking imaginary lint off of his sweater. She raised her finger to her ear and pressed lightly. "Jas, are you in position?"

" _Oh you remember me now, huh?_ " Jasper replied with a slight huff. " _I'm working in the area that Evanier's table is booked in._ "

"Excellent." Rory picked up her clutch. "We're on our way now. ETA 7 minutes." She placed her hand on the door. "And Jasper, how could we ever forget you?"

Rory sucked in a deep breath as The elevator doors pinged open and she stepped out, scanning the room automatically looking for Marcus.

"Rosalie! You look ravishing." His voice came from her left and she smiled, turning to find him already walking toward her.

"You're quite handsome yourself, Marcus." She replied, leaning in so he could kiss her cheeks.

"It's Armani. Made just for me" He ran his hands over the lapels of his suit. "Come anyway, I have a surprise for you." He glanced at Arthur. "Your bodyguard isn't having the night off?"

Rory glanced at Arthur as well and found him stone faced. "Papa would probably kill him." She replied. "He promised to keep to himself all night and I usually forget he's even there." She took Marcus' hand and linked their fingers.

Marcus gave Arthur one more look over and nodded. "Very well. Come, I have a table for us." He brought her hand up to his mouth again and kissed it.

He led her to a small table for two overlooking the ocean and he held the chair out for her as she sat. Arthur sat alone, three tables away and scanned the room.

" _Two bodyguards at a table behind you._ " Arthur murmured and Rory picked up her soupspoon on the pretence she was checking her makeup. Sure enough she spotted the two, big men in black suits and sunglasses and she noted each carried concealed. " _They look on edge and keep watching you…_ "

"You look lovely, my dear." Marcus reached for her hand and she lowered the spoon, giving him a bright smile. Jasper in his waiters uniform walked by their table and poured sparkling water into their glasses.

"May I get you something to drink?" He asked, avoiding Rory's eye.

"A nice red, please." Rory replied, with a nod.

"Another red drinker?" Marcus beamed. "Women as young as yourself don't usually drink it."

"I was taught early that red is preferred over white. Can I get a glass of the Château Le Bon Pasteur? Merci." She closed her wine menu. "and I'm not that young." She said with a small smile.

"I will have the same." Marcus nodded, beaming at her. Rory struggled not to roll her eyes. She knew, of course, his preferred wine was red and he liked that particular winery. It had been part of her research before introducing herself. "You are young enough." He responded and Rory struggled to keep her face neutral. "So tell me, what do you know of your fathers work?"

"Not a lot, I'm afraid." She shook her head. "I just know he is the head of the Corporate and Investment banking sect at _Société Générale_ in Paris." She tucked a strand of hair over her ear and smiled at him.

"That is a fine bank. I am sure I've probably met your father."

"You possibly may have, yes." She nodded. "I just know that in his work he purchases shares and resells them?" Rory made herself laugh, hoping he was buying her brainlessness.

"It's slightly more complex than that." He chuckled with her before he leant forward and launched into a detailed explanation. He even used the salt and pepper shakers on the table to demonstrate some of the more complicated things.

Rory didn't know how she stayed awake through it all. He wasn't giving anything away that she didn't already know and investment banking was boring as hell.

"But what do you do, specifically?" She asked, leaning forward to capture his hand on the edge of the table. "Do you have any famous clients?" She grinned, her eyes sparkling as she waited for the secrets.

He laughed and squeezed her hand, linking their fingers.

"Ah confidentiality, my dear. I can't tell you that." He shook his head.

" _Bad luck there, Rore."_ Jasper chuckled into the earpiece.

"I had to try." She said, answering both of them. Marcus chuckled again. Jasper came over then and took their dinner orders and it gave Rory the chance to figure out her next move.

When he left, Marcus smiled at her. "Enough about my business." He leant forward and brought her hand up to his lips. "Tell me about yourself."

"About me?" She asked, a little surprised. Men like Marcus usually liked to talk about themselves until they were blue in the face. She was quite happy to indulge, it was her job after all. Being asked to talk about her character was not something she encountered very often.

"I grew up in Paris, was the only child, travelled some with my parents." She sighed and picked up her wine glass. "Nothing interesting or tragic at all about my life, I'm afraid… unless you count my parents travelling the world without me?" She gave a tight smile and rolled her eyes.

"I think you're interesting." Marcus replied, kicking his foot forward to entangle with her ankle. She pointed her foot and ran it up the inside of his leg. His grin widened. "Beautiful too."

"Flattery will get you everywhere, monsieur." She winked at him over the top of her wine glass. She placed it back on the table and he leaned forward suddenly to link their fingers.

" _Getting off track, love."_ Arthur murmured down the line. Rory cleared her throat.

"Why don't you tell me about yourself? I want to hear if all the wonderful things your friends said about you are true." She withdrew her hand and sat back in her seat, playing with the bracelet around her wrist.

"Like you said, I am not very interesting." He avoided her request. "I'm originally from Germany, a small town on the outskirts of Dresden. Grew up with my father and mother and younger brother." He smiled as he spoke. "My father was a banker in the city and I wanted to be one because of him."

"Like father, like son."

"So my mother always said. She died when I was 15."

Rory reached out and took his hand again. "I'm so sorry."

"She got pneumonia and couldn't shake it." He shrugged a shoulder, squeezing her hand. He ran his thumb over her knuckles and stared down into his wine. Jasper interrupted by bringing their meals over. "But we survived. Papa was good to us, we both managed to go to college. My brother now lives in Hungary with his wife and two sons."

Rory smiled and tucked into her food, trying to remember to eat daintily. In reality she was starving and just wanted to wolf the food down whole. "How did you get the scar?" She asked after a few minutes, nodding to the scar on his face.

Marcus brought his hand up and traced his finger down it as if realising it was there for the first time. He seemed lost in thought for a moment before he answered.

"Car accident. A man lost control of his car and careened into mine when I was 20. My windshield caved in and sliced me up." His lip raised in a half smile. "I'd get rid of it but I feel it's a part of me."

"I think it looks handsome. Gives you a very distinguished look."

" _Oh vomit._ " Arthur groaned but Marcus seemed pleased that she'd said so.

The dinner went on and Rory's patience with him was running almost on empty. The man was like a vault, never letting anything too incriminating go. They talked about childhoods, they talked about friends and they talked about travel but every time she tried to steer the conversation back toward banking he steered it right away again.

"Is it too presumptuous of me to think we're getting out of here together tonight?" He asked her, both her hands now clasped in his.

Rory fixed her face in a positively bashful look and bit her lip. "I think you might be playing your cards right." She smiled. She tugged her fingers free of one hand and picked up her wine glass.

Marcus leaned forward, tugging on the hand still trapped in his own. "May I?" He asked. She leant forward and nodded slowly. He pressed his lips to hers.

" _Good going. Now get him to the room, get that information and get out of there."_ Jasper cheered down the line. Rory placed her other hand on his and pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

She pulled away after a few seconds. "I think now would be a good time to…" She looked around for Arthur on the pretence of dismissing him but found him only half watching them. Instead of glaring like Rory assumed he would be, he was talking animatedly into his cell phone, his face pulled into a deep scowl.

"Yes, I believe so." He looked up and glanced at Arthur. "Are you going to tell your guard to stand down?"

"Yes, I am…. I'll send him to his room. Give him the night off. One moment while I find out what's going on first."

She stood and went to Arthur, more curious about what was happening on the line than what Marcus had to offer. He ended the call as she approached.

"What's happening?" She asked immediately.

"Avengers initiative has been activated. They've gone after an Asguardian in Stuttgart who has stolen something very important by the sound of it." Arthur responded, trying to keep his face smooth.

"We're so god damn close, Arthur, we can just up and leave!" She argued. "What the hell are they thinking pulling us from – "

"Rory, _Barton's_ been compromised. They're calling all agents back to base immediately. There's been an imminent attack warning issued. It's bad, love." Arthur's hand twitched as if he wanted to take her hand, which under normal circumstances he would have. However right now he couldn't.

Her heart was in her throat. Clint was a good man and an even better friend. He'd been her supervising officer when she'd first gotten into the field and had acted as her handler for the first three years of her training. To think he'd been compromised was like a kick in the gut and for a second she couldn't respond. She worked hard to keep her emotions under control.

"I'll never be able to come back, my cover will be blown wide open…" She said softly, placing her hand to her lips. "He is so close to trusting me..."

" _Something's going on with Marcus' guys."_ Jasper's voice said in their ears. Arthur's eyes flicked to the two bodyguards who had approached him.

"It's a direct order, love. Find a way out. They need us." Arthur's eyes found hers again and he sounded apologetic, calmer than she felt inside. She rearranged her face in a smile before turning back to where Marcus was waiting. He was talking to his bodyguards, deep in conversation in very rapid German as she approached.

" _Stuttgart? We have no one in Stuttgart._ " His German was much better than his French and he obviously thought Rory didn't speak it as he did nothing to cover his words.

" _We're not convinced it's HYDRA sir. Word is he's a god."_

" _A god?"_ Marcus' brow pinched in confusion. " _Yes fine, we must go at once."_ He nodded. A bodyguard nodded toward Rory and Marcus turned quickly. He gave her a pained expression before taking her into his arms. "Rosalie I'm terribly sorry but business has come up and I've been called away."

This was perfect for her but Rory pouted as Rosalie should have in this situation. "Called away?" She whined, looking up at him. She reached forward to take hold of his lapels and pull herself into him.

"I'm sorry, beautiful." He dropped a kiss onto her lips. "I wouldn't be leaving you if it wasn't urgent." He insisted before he let her go. "Will you let me make it up to you when I come back?"

"If I'm still in Monte Carlo." She nodded with a smile. "I'm supposed to be meeting friends in the Bahamas soon so I may not be contactable for a while. Girls retreat away, Megan's just been dumped and we decided to contact with the outside world so she can properly get over it." She prattled for a second, watching as one of his bodyguards tapped his shoulder.

"I'll call you." He nodded, distracted by whatever was going on. He kissed her again before he let the bodyguards lead him away.

Rory waited a minute before she turned to Arthur, finding him behind her. His arm threaded around her waist and her hurried her toward the elevators.

"Jasper's upstairs already, packing up our stuff. Coulson is sending an evac quinjet to the roof as we speak." He murmured the details in her ear as the elevator doors slid shut. She pulled off the necklace and earrings and deposited them in her clutch.

"What about my suit?" She asked, stepping out of her heels so she could move easier.

"Change on the plane." Arthur shrugged as the doors slid open. He turned to the stairs and they continued the last little bit on foot.

"Jasper?"

" _Leaving the room now. Everything's up on the roof waiting for us."_

"How long ago did you get the call Jas?" Rory's eyebrows rose.

" _Just after I served your food. Didn't want to throw you off your game."_ He replied. Arthur pushed the door to the roof open and they both stepped out. She could see Jasper off to the side and they hurried over to him while the small quinjet landed.

They climbed aboard and strapped themselves into their seat.

"Tell me everything you know." Rory demanded as the plane took off.

"Captain America and Ironman detained an Asgardian named 'Loki' a little over an hour ago in Stuttgart but they were intercepted by Thor. There was an ensuing fight but they compromised and have Loki on the helicarrier. They'll be back in New York before we are." Jasper explained, his eyes on a tablet in front of him. "It's going to be big apparently. They've called _everyone_ back."

"It's going to be huge if they've launched the Avengers Initiative." Arthur commented.

"Captain America is really being used?" Rory asked, blinking in shock. He hadn't been awake long; surely he wasn't ready for something like this.

"It seems so. I guess murderous villains stop for no man." Jasper tapped the screen. "We have an arrival time in New York of 3pm, you should get some sleep." He smiled at her and she nodded in agreement. She unstrapped herself from her seat so she could zip herself into her suit.

She was excited. She would finally get a glimpse of Captain America, the one man who had been a constant in her life since she was a small child, yet he didn't even know she existed.

Her grandparents had spoken often about him, making sure his legend and his legacy was passed along. He was her hero, the main reason why she SHIELD, but she'd been unable to meet him before now because Fury had ordered her to not have anything to do with him and sent her on a mission. She'd been mad but orders were orders.

"Artie, could you get the zip on this stupid dress?" She sighed, turning her back on her friend.

"Could I help you out of it as well, darling?" He asked, tugging the zipper down her back. She held the satin dress against her as she stepped away from him.

"Nice try but I can handle it." She smiled, reaching for her SHIELD suit. She kept her back to him as she dropped the dress and slid into the more comfortable option.

She zipped up the front. "Much better." She smiled. She turned to find Arthur smirking at her and she rolled her eyes. "Stop thinking about it."

"I'm not."

"You are, it's written all over your face." She sat in a seat across from him and got comfortable, tipping her head back and closing her eyes. She heard Arthur snort and she smiled before falling into a light sleep in preparation for what they were heading into.

* * *

Authors' Note:

Cross posted on Archive of our Own under BlackHawkinBudapest.  
I own nothing except my OC's.  
Beta'd by hipsterjarv because she is an angel.


	2. Spark without Flame

**Show Me That You're Human**

Chapter 2: Spark Without Flame

Aliens were real.

She knew about the Asgardians. She'd been in New Mexico when Thor had fallen out of the sky and his crazy brother had sent the Destroyer to, well, destroy but these things were the stuff of nightmares.

They were called the Chitauri and they were lithe, blue creatures with a thirst for blood and weapons that evaporated entire people with a single shot. There were so many people dead, Midtown was destroyed and all for what? A God having a temper tantrum?

She was trying very hard not to think about what her job was going to be like over the next couple of months as the world adapted to the knowledge that they weren't alone in this universe.

She sighed as she stood in an undamaged NYPD precinct on the lower West Side, listening to a very hasty thankyou speech made by Captain Stacy. Rory's head was pounding. She had taken a couple of hits to the head when a building collapsed around her and she was pretty sure she was sporting a nasty gash above her eye that was still oozing blood. Everything was a daze to be honest, and she wasn't quite sure whether she was supposed to be coming or going.

"Rory?" Arthur nudged her gently. "Love, c'mon we're moving." He gently placed a hand on her shoulder and she looked up, seeing that they'd been dismissed. She walked with them, pulling the oversized jacket she'd nabbed from Arthur tighter around her body. "You should get that looked at." Arthur nodded to her head.

She touched the soreness with her fingertips, wincing when they came away slightly damn with blood. "I will." She promised. She ran a hand over her face as she tried to figure out where to go. "I'm pretty sure my apartment is destroyed." She glanced at him, pulling a face. Most of Midtown was completely obliterated, including where her apartment had been between Stark Tower and Grand Central Station.

"I'm pretty sure it is, considering you lived six blocks away from ground zero." Arthur nodded. "You can stay with me, my apartment is on the Upper West Side, away from the Danger zone." He offered, placing a kiss on her head as he pulled her in close.

Rory shook her head. "It's ok, I have some stuff at Stark Tower from when I moved and used it for storage." She looked up as the illuminated letter A catching her eye in the half dark sky. "Tony owes me a favour anyway, it's going to take weeks for my insurance to even be processed let alone find a new place. You don't want me living with you for that long, Artie." She patted his cheek and started shrugging out of his jacket.

"You know you can stay as long as you want." Arthur shook his head, ruffling her hair and pulling the jacket back over her shoulders. "C'mon I'll walk you, I'm past there anyway." He placed an arm around her shoulders and drew her close.

They walked in silence, the shock of everything still not quite hitting them yet. Everywhere they looked there was destruction. Clean up crews and search teams had started to filter into the city, sniffer dogs to seek out the dead. It broke Rory's heart to see her home in such a bad way.

The destruction got infinitely worse the closer she got to Stark Tower and it was amazing that the tall monument to Tony Stark's ego was sill standing. The only way they were allowed in was by flashing their SHIELD badges. It was on tight lockdown. She walked up to the doors, flashing her badge at the guards posted there, and swiped her personal Stark Industries ID against the pad. She half expected it not to work.

"Good day, Miss Dugan and how nice it is to see you again." Jarvis, the computer AI who lived inside the building's walls, greeted her as the doors slid open.

 _Thank god for Tony and his clean energy kick_. She paused in the doorway.

"Jarvis, good to hear you too." She smiled. "Is Tony in?" She wondered if the Iron Avenger was even back yet. The Avengers had been running on a different schedule to the rest of SHIELD. They hadn't been at her debriefing as they were sorting out what to do with Loki. She wondered where they were even staying.

"Mr Stark is in his laboratories and has requested not to be disturbed by anyone except Miss Potts, ma'am." Her question was answered and she turned to Arthur.

"Thanks for walking me, Artie." She smiled, pulling the jacket off her shoulders before he could stop her.

"Anytime, love." He took the jacket, folding it over his arm. "I'll talk to you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, of course. Call me when you find your phone." She smiled, stepping up to kiss his cheek. He gave her a wave and started walking away from the building.

"I know he told you he didn't want to be disturbed Jarvis but could you tell him I'm here?" She asked, waiting for the doors to open.

"May I relay a specific message, ma'am?" The AI's voice responded. The doors opened and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Tell him Aurora needs a place to stay." She pushed the up button and then slumped against the wall, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. "He won't mind if I disturb him."

"Very good ma'am. I shall let him know you are on your way up."

The doors slid shut and in a matter of moments they were open again. "Level 79 – Laboratories" Jarvis said again.

Yelling was the first thing Rory heard and she winced, the dull ache in her head reminding her about a possible concussion. She stepped out of the elevator and into the lab.

"Jarvis! I said no one was to disturb me. This is my private lab! I don't care _who_ it is you take that elevator right back up –"

"Rory! How lovely to see you, maybe you can talk some sense into this egotistical, crazy, son of a –"

"That's not very nice, Pepper I almost died today!"

Rory watched as Tony waved his arms around with a spanner in his fist, and Pepper tried to keep her temper under wraps. She pursed her lips, wondering why the whole scene made her feel a little better.

"I'd like to say I've come at a bad time but really, the whole city is like this." She said, folding her arms over her suit.

When Tony finally looked at her he raised an eyebrow "Since when have you been a blonde?" Then his expression softened. "You're bleeding, kid."

Rory smiled softly. Home. It was like home. Tony had been a part of her life for so long that he was like seeing an older brother who enjoyed teasing her and picking on her and she was so happy to see him alive.

"Oh my god, Rory you're bleeding!" Pepper finally looked at her also and hastily pushed away from the bench she was leaning against. "I'll go and get a med kit."

"Nice to see you alive and well. You're looking good despite falling from space." Rory walked forward and took up Pepper's vacated spot against the bench. She watched Tony fiddle with something off one of his suits knowing he wouldn't look at her until he was ready.

"You know, it wasn't that bad. The Shwarma we had to celebrate after; that was bad." He pulled a face and cleared a space on his bench. He patted it and gestured for Rory to sit on it. She did, and she was strongly reminded of being a kid again, with a skinned knee. Either Tony or one of her brothers would make her sit on the counter so they could make it better.

Rory couldn't remember a time in her childhood that Tony wasn't around, even with the 10-year age gap between them. He would come and stay with her family when Howard Stark was too drunk for Tony's mother, Maria, to handle them both. After the Starks died in a car accident when Tony was 15, he was welcomed permanently into the Carter-Dugan home and when he wasn't at college he lived with them.

"What's with the hair? Are you finally going through a rebellious teenage phase? What's next; piercings? Tattoos? Drugs and alcohol?" Tony fired the questions at her rapidly and she laughed, enjoying the benign normalcy of it all.

"I already have a piercing and three tattoos; and I think I had a sufficiently rebellious phase. I remember you sneaking a 17-year-old-me and two of my girlfriends into a party in Manhattan and giving us cigarettes and booze. Maggie was _furious_." Her older sister, Margaret, had yelled at her until she'd lost her voice but she'd never ever told their grandparents, something Rory was still grateful for.

"Maggie was just jealous I didn't take her instead." Tony smiled. He picked up a lock of hair that had escaped from the confines of its band and tugged on it. "But really? Blonde? You don't do blonde." He shook his head.

"Yikes, is that your way of telling me I look terrible?" Rory pulled a mock-worried look and placed her hands over her hair.

"Yes."

"Ass." She swatted him, rolling her eyes. Pepper returned with the first aid kit and Tony took it from her, opening it up. Pepper handed her a bottle of water and some aspirin and Rory took them gratefully.

"It was for a mission." She knocked the tablets back and winced, chugging half the bottle of water. "I was playing the part of a socialite in Monte Carlo to get close to an investment banker with possible dealing with HYDRA." Rory explained as Tony stood in front of her with an antiseptic wipe and a determined look on his face. Rory winced and hissed as the wipe stung the cut. "We were called back here when we got word something big was coming."

"Well that something big happened. I almost… died…" Tony pressed against her head and Rory groaned.

"We know. Honestly keep reminding us, I don't think the West Coast heard you." Rory rolled her eyes. She received another prod for her attitude and she snapped her teeth at him. His bedside manner sucked.

"So what are you doing here in my tower?" Tony asked, balling up the wipe and tossing it over his shoulder where Dum-E could caught it in a trash basket. He reached for some gauze and tape.

"Well I was kind of hoping to stay here a while – "

"No." Tony's reply was immediate but Rory kept talking her voice raising a couple of decibels.

"My apartment is all over the street and –"

"N-O…"

"SHIELD HQ is busted as well."

"NO."

"Tony, it wouldn't be a problem to have her, she already kind of has a room here…" Pepper interjected with a sigh.

"No. No more people." Tony shook his head, shooting a look at Pepper.

"Why the hell not?" Rory scowled, swatting his hands away from her head.

"Because I already have a bunch of super powered idiots invading _my_ personal tower and I don't need another one." Tony snapped at her, dropping his hands to his sides.

"I'm not super powered!" Rory protested. " _and_ I'm practically family."

"No you're not." Tony raised a hand and waved a finger at her.

"Want me to call Pa and have him remind you of all the times you stayed with us? Hmm?" Rory grabbed his finger and pulled it backward, hard enough to hurt. Tony pulled a face but didn't move. Years of experience told him it would hurt more if he moved. "Remember when you kicked Grant out of his bed, and he kicked Tim out of his bed, who then kicked Maggie out of hers and I had to sleep on the couch because Maggie whined and said she'd get a sore back? Hmm?"

"You were five!"

"I was six and it was my bed!"

"You were still a child and small enough to fit on the –"

"TIME OUT!" Pepper yelled, shaking her head. Rory and Tony both looked at her and were surprised to see someone had joined her. "Tony, Steve needed to see you."

"Ah Capsicle. Just done saving the world and by the looks of it you were cleaning?" Tony eyed off Steve's dirty American flag inspired suit and the large broom in his hand. "You know you could shower and get into a clean change of clothes first, right? This is 2012 not 1942. Showers are a regular thing now."

"Tony!" Pepper exclaimed, exasperated with him.

"I'm just going to get dirty again so why bother?" Steve Roger's replied easily. "We needed to at least start cleaning up the mess we made, set up some search and rescue teams…" Steve said, his eyes flicking from Tony to Rory and then to the way she was still bending the billionaire's finger back. His eyebrow twitched and Rory dropped the finger quickly.

"We just saved the world, Rogers. There are people who will do that for us." Tony shook his hand and inspected his finger with a pout.

Rory was silent. This was the first time she'd ever seen Steve Rogers in the flesh and conscious. She'd seen him once while he was defrosting but she'd been sent away shortly after. To say she was awestruck was an understatement.

Tony looked from Rory to Steve and back again, a grin spreading slowly across his face.

"Capsicle, I'd like to introduce to you my old friend Aurora Dugan. Aurora, this is Steve. Real life Captain America." Tony waved his hands like a game show host as he introduced the two.

Steve's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. "Dugan?" He glanced at Tony for confirmation.

"Oh that's right! You know Rory's grandfather, Tim…" Tony nodded. "The very same Tim Dugan of your Howling Commandos." His grin widened and Rory rolled her eyes at his theatrics.

Rory pushed Tony away and hopped off the table. "It's a huge honour to meet you, Sir." She walked toward him, saluting him formally before extending her hand. He looked surprised by her formal salute and returned it before shaking her hand. His glove engulfed her hand, swallowing it up in rough, leathery blue.

"Steve is fine, ma'am. I'm off the clock…" He said, slightly uncertain. A blush dusted his high cheekbones and the tips of his ears exactly how her grandmother had said it would. She smiled widely.

"Rory grew up with Dum Dum spouting off all your old war stories, I think she's a little star struck." Tony sounded like he was having too much fun and Rory dropped her hand.

" _Tony_." Pepper said in a warning tone. She could see exactly where Tony was leading with this. The look on his face told her everything. Rory wasn't allowed to talk but Tony wasn't bound by those rules. The rules of SHIELD and the orders which had pushed Rory far away.

"It's nice to meet you. How is Dugan?" Steve asked, smiling at her like he was seeing a ghost – a little shocked but fascinated at the same time.

"Pa is great actually. He was thrilled when I told him they'd found you… Almost took his old job back just to see you." She replied with a grin. Steve raised his eyebrows.

"His old job?"

"Pa worked for SHIELD until about 3 years ago. Retired at age 90." Rory grinned. Steve whistled.

"Wow, I knew he kept the job here but retired at 90?" He sounded a little shocked and she was about to ask him if he wanted to sit but Tony started talking again.

"Of course, she also heard stories about your incredible jawline from her Grandmother. " Rory spun around and glared daggers at Tony. "Ah yes, my Aunt Peg was quite smitten with you, even years into her marriage."

Rory kicked him hard in the shin with the toe of her boot and he let out a strangled yell.

"Don't kick me! I almost –"

"Died today. We know. God Tony that was so insensitive, you asshole!" She scowled at him, pulling her foot back to kick him again.

"I'm sorry, what?" Steve's voice sounded shaky and she turned to face him instead. She wrung her hands in front of her, picking dirt from her nails. "Who did you say?"

"Agent Margaret Carter is my grandmother." She replied with an unsure smile. "Were you told anything about what happened to them?"

Steve's hands found his hips and he stared at her with a blazing intensity that she couldn't match. "No." He shook his head. "No my, uh… sessions with the doc haven't quite gotten that far yet." He shook his head, running his hand through his already messy hair. It stood up at odd angles. "I got their files but there was a lot of classified stuff and it didn't mention she'd married _Dugan_." He'd gone very pale and Rory held out her bottle of water to him.

He glanced at it before shaking his head. His lips were let in a firm line, his hands balled into fists by his side.

"I'm sorry they didn't tell you right away." She murmured, placing the bottle back on the bench.

"Yeah, they've kept a lot from me it seems." He huffed a bitter laugh. "Excuse me, I… I need to…" He muttered quickly before he turned and exited the workshop. Pepper followed him quietly, a concerned look on her face.

The elevator doors closed and Rory rounded on Tony.

"YOU have absolutely _NO_ tact whatsoever do you?!" Rory exclaimed as she spun on her heel, glaring at him. "You can't just drop something like that on someone!"

"The man is fine. He really needs to get reacquainted with the world anyway." Tony shrugged, closing the medical kit with a snap. Rory punched his shoulder.

" _Ow_."

" _Not_ like that. That kind of information is personal to him and you just blurted it out like it wasn't a big deal. One of his close friends married the girl he was in love with –"

"So Aunt Peg said." Tony interjected and Rory punched his shoulder again. "and that's _her_ bad, not mine." He waved a winger before pulling it back away from her quickly.

" _You_ heard the stories from your father as well." Tony scowled and muttered a ' _don't remind me'_. "You're such an ass."

"It's fine, you can apologise for me later, ok? I mean, he _is_ in the suite across from yours." Tony glanced up at her and watched as his words sunk in.

"I shouldn't have to apologise for – wait, what?" She frowned, glancing at him.

"Pepper would have undermined me anyway. Your usual suite, room 8903. You can have it. You share the floor with Clint and Steve." Tony waved a hand.

"Clint Barton?" Rory asked, her eyes snapping up. She knew he was back on their side but she had yet to see him.

"Hawkeye, yeah." Tony nodded. "Oh that's right, should probably explain the super powered idiots rant…" He rubbed his forehead absently. "Due to SHIELD headquarters being ripped apart by giant space aliens, my glorious tower is now temporary base of operations for anything Avengers. They're all staying here for a few weeks until SHIELD can figure out where to put them." He looked like he wanted to break something at this news but Rory knew it was just an act. He played the part of 'selfish billionaire' very well but really he cared too much.

"How generous of you." She said dryly, tucking her hands into her pockets.

" _Not_ my idea. Talk to my _lovely_ Pepper and her good friend Agent Coulson who, despite actually dying – rest his soul – is still managing to irritate me." His tone sounded flippant but Rory knew he was upset his friend was gone.

Everyone was upset Coulson was gone. He'd been a good man, a great agent and at times an even better friend. He would be missed more than they all knew. "They organised for the Avengers to stay here long before the invasion happened."

"It is more convenient." Rory reasoned with him, causing him to roll his eyes. "Thanks for fixing my head." Rory gestured to the gauze taped over the gash. It was starting to sting and her head ached dully in the base of her skull. "You should come upstairs and get some sleep." She smiled at him, pushing open the workshop door.

Tony dropped whatever tool he was holding dramatically over his shoulder where it landed with a loud clunk on the floor. He also rolled his eyes again. "God damn pushy women." He muttered as he shut the door behind them both and walked with her to the elevator.

"Room 3" Tony said as they reached the 89th floor. He held the door open for her while she stepped out.

"Thanks for this." She sighed, suddenly feeling completely drained by the whole day. Tony hugged her briefly

"Like you said, you're family." He admitted, leaning forward to place a kiss next to the gauze wrap. She smiled.

"Jarvis, you have the recording of two seconds ago, don't you?" She asked the AI.

"Yes ma'am."

"Send it to my phone." She smiled, patting Tony's shoulder.

"Jarvis don't you dare!" Tony exclaimed, glaring up at the roof. There was a beat and a beep from Rory's phone and Tony swore. "Traitor!"

Rory laughed as Tony jabbed the button to his Penthouse on the 93rd floor viciously and the elevator doors slid shut behind her.

She looked between the two other doors on the level, wondering which was Steve's and which was Clint's. She wanted to see both of them – one to apologise to and the other to make sure was ok.

But wariness won out in the end, and she decided both of those things could wait until she was clean and rested. Pushing into the suite she didn't even look around before she headed for the bathroom for a long, hot shower to wash away the sweat and grime of the hellacious day.

* * *

Steve's ears were ringing as he sat on the sofa in his new place in Stark Tower, his mind whirring at a hundred miles an hour.

She'd moved on. Peggy had moved on with Timothy Dugan. She'd had a family with him. She'd had the life Steve had always wanted with her, without him.

"They never told you?" Pepper had asked as she'd ridden the elevator up to the 89th floor with him after he'd fled the laboratory.

"No." He said with a quick shake of his head. "I've been given some personnel files, most of which were blacked out as 'classified' and that was about it. Said I'd learn more when I was cleared for duty."

He'd known that Peggy had gone on to be director of SHIELD along side Howard Stark for a good 20 years. Before that she'd been an agent, a damned good one by the look of her files. Dugan's had also outlined his impressive credentials, stepping up to act as leader of The Howling Commando's for almost as long, had served in both the Vietnam and the Korean Wars and had become an agent of SHIELD. He'd had a stint at director very briefly before passing the reigns over to Nick Fury.

Neither file said anything about marriage or families.

Pepper had thought it strange, as she'd walked him to his apartment, that Fury hadn't told him about Aurora. She was one of the best agent's he had and Nick had been a good friend of Dugan and Peggy's, watching Aurora grow from practically a child.

"You know her well then?" Steve's eyebrows rose in surprise.

"Rory and Tony have been friends since they were kids. I think Peggy and Tim became Tony's legal guardian after his parents died but he spent a lot of time with them before that too..." Pepper explained with a small smile.

"I'd very much like to meet Miss Dugan again."

"I'm sure you will." Pepper nodded. "Tony won't leave her out on the street. She'll be in the tower tomorrow.

Tomorrow seemed like such a long time now that he thought about it. He had half a mind to go and find her now but he didn't. He sat tight and thought for a moment. His psychiatrist, Doctor Holstein, was insisting he take things slow. He'd only been awake for a month and while the Alien Invasion in the past 24 hours had sped things up considerably there was still a lot that Steve was trying to get used to. She believed that some personal aspects of Steve's life could fracture his mind, making his PTSD – " _a very normal part of returning from war, Steven_ " – worse.

"Are you alright, Steve?" Pepper's voice came back to him and he realised they had been sitting in silence for a long moment.

"I'm ok ma'am." He nodded, sucking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly. She extended a glass of water to him and he took it gratefully. "That was just a –"

"Shock?" Pepper supplied when he paused. He nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, Tony doesn't think about things when he's exhausted. He's not the most tactful person ever…" She pulled a face, "12% of the time he's tactful, the rest is… well, you've been around him for a couple of days now, you know." Pepper smiled vaguely, as if she'd made a joke but Steve didn't entirely understand.

"I do. I appreciate his blunt honesty." Steve scrubbed his cheek with his hand, feeling a 5 o'clock shadow there under his palm.

"It's tedious at times, believe me." She stood, smoothing her skirt. "Get some rest, Steve. The bathroom is stocked with towels and there's a fresh change of clothes on the end of your bed. It's just sweats and a plain t-shirt. I'll organise to take you shopping…" She paused as she thought for a moment. "We'll have to go to go up town…" She murmured. " – over the next couple of days. Get you everything you'll need." Pepper pulled a black block the size of her palm out from her pocket and tapped on the screen.

Steve watched as she fiddled with it, wondering what she was doing.

"That's not necessary, ma'am. I can go alone." Steve's cheeks heated up at her kindness. "I have some things at SHIELD HQ as… well…" He trailed off, realising that HQ was, well, gone. He gave a sigh, not really minding as he hadn't had much anyway.

"Nonsense. New York has changed a lot in the past 70 years, Steve. I would hate for you to get lost." Pepper smiled and pocketed the black block. "and stop calling me ma'am. You make me sound old."

"Sorry ma'am." He apologised with a slight smile. Pepper smiled warmly at him.

"Do you need anything else?" She asked, watching his face closely.

"No ma'- Pepper." He corrected quickly as her eyebrows rose.

"Just talk to Jarvis if you do need something. He'll either get me or point you in the right direction." She explained as she tucked the black brick into her pocket again. Steve stood and escorted her to the door.

"Jarvis is…"

"The AI. Remember, I showed you downstairs when you came in?" She pointed to the roof and Steve nodded.

"Right, just say my request and Jarvis will do what he can?" Steve remembered, still not sure how he felt about the disembodied voice.

"Precisely sir." Jarvis responded, making Steve jump. Pepper laughed and patted his shoulder.

"You'll get used to it." Pepper insisted to him. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Thank you again, Pepper. I… don't know where I would have gone."

Pepper waved him away. "Tony wouldn't have let someone who had his back today be left behind. He comes across as heartless but he's really not." She smiled again. "Just asked if you need anything."

"I will." He assured her.

Then she was gone and he was alone and he slumped against the door and looked at his dirt-stained gloves. They were shaking from exhaustion and shock and while a big part of him wanted to pull the door open again and go and find Agent Dugan, a stronger part urged him to go and shower and sleep.

Locking the door he headed for his bathroom, not even pausing to take stock of his new room.

* * *

Author's Note:

I know I said a week but I couldn't resist. I want to keep momentum on this story. Thank you for reading. Reviews and likes are much appreciated.

I should probably point out that this story is 3 years in the making. It's been written and rewritten countless times and currently has 2 sequels in the works. I just can't seem to let this go. There will be dark themes as well which is why the ratings are changing so please be aware.

Playlist:

Human - Gabrielle Aplin

Heart's a Mess - Gotye

Things we lost in the Fire - Bastille


	3. This World

Show Me That You're Human

Chapter 7: This World is Not Made for You

Rory's mouth was dry and her body felt stiff when she finally woke the next day. The room was pitch black and she fumbled for her phone in the dark to check the time.

"Jesus!" She exclaimed, sitting upright in bed. The clock read almost midday and her phone was flooded with missed calls and messages from an assortment of people. "Jarvis! Why didn't you wake me?" She asked the AI as she swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Her toes sank into the plush carpet as she stood.

"Mister Stark requested I draw the sun shields and let you sleep for as long as you wanted, ma'am." Jarvis replied.

Rory groaned and flicked through her messages as she made her way to the bathroom. There were a couple from Arthur telling her to call him when she woke up but the majority were from her older sister Maggie, each one more frantic than the last since Maggie didn't know if she was in New York or not.

" _Rory are you at home? Shit's going down in the city."_

" _Rory seriously, call me! There's all this stuff on TV. Call me."_

" _Aurora I've been on the phone with Grandma and Pa. They have no idea what's going on. No one's picking up.. Call me!"_

The phone rang before she could open next one, Maggie's face and number flashing up on the screen. Rory answered it easily.

"Hey Mags."

" _Holy fucking hell thank god!_ " Her sister swore and heaved a huge sigh of relief. " _Where the fuck have you been? I've been trying to call you for almost 24 hours!"_

"I was a little busy trying to get order back into New York." Rory explained, taking stock of the rather large bathroom that came with the suite Tony kept calling small. It was bigger than her bedroom back at her old apartment.

" _So you were there? Oh my god, I wasn't sure because you said you were going away for a while and then I didn't get a call from you and I just… freaked. Pa couldn't even get a hold of Uncle Nicky to see what was going on. That shit was intense!"_

"You're telling me." Rory laughed at her sister's panic. There were three years between the two and while they fought like nothing else, Maggie was her best friend and Rory missed her terribly now that they both lived in different cities. Maggie currently lived in D.C. where she worked as a criminal attorney. "But we're ok. The city is mental right now, most of midtown is destroyed… my poor apartment is completely gone." She sighed, leaning against the bathroom counter.

" _Oh god, no! Are you ok? Do you need anything? Is it all gone? Where are you staying?_ "

"Yeah. Everything's completely gone." Rory scratched her head, her words sinking in finally. She literally had nothing left that was hers except her suit and the suitcase of expensive clothes she had used in Monte Carlo – most of which she was pretty sure SHIELD wanted back. "Shit. My life was in that apartment." She groaned, realising she had almost nothing of her own now. "I'm staying with Tony right now. He owed me a favour anyway."

" _Tony? How is the idiot? We all saw him fall from space._ " Maggie snorted and Rory imagined she was shaking her head.

"He's the same as always, except more annoying because he almost died." Rory sighed with a laugh, wincing as her ribs pulled painfully.

" _I'm glad you're both ok. Say hello to him for me. Do you need anything? I can wire you some money if you like… You can pay me back later. I'll give Grant a call and he can come and help you sift through the rubble. I bet they're only letting SHIELD agents in right now, huh? Some parts still aren't safe… Grant's home for a week before heading out again…"_ Maggie was on a roll and Rory let her ramble on. It was what Maggie did in times of crisis. Despite the fact Rory could kill a man in 12 different ways, Maggie always saw fit to baby her little sister and try and fix her problems. All the Dugan siblings looked out for the youngest, her two older brothers were also ridiculously protective of her. Rory had to admit it was nice if not a little annoying.

"It's alright, Maggie." Rory interjected when she heard her sister talking about flights to New York and time off work. "I have the stuff I had while I was away and it's not like I don' t have money. I can go shopping for clothes. Don't bother Grant or Tim." She shook her head. "I'm pretty busy anyway with SHIELD. My job is pretty full on right now."

" _Just call me if you need anything, ok Rory?"_

"I know, Mags."

There were muffled voices and a sound like Maggie had put her hand over the receiver.

" _Rory I have to go, I'm at work. I'll call you later ok?"_ Maggie came back and said goodbye. _"Love you."_

"Love you too." Rory replied as she clicked off. She turned the shower on and felt her phone buzz in her hand. She groaned, glancing down and seeing Arthur's name flashing up on the screen. "Hello?"

" _Ah Sleeping Beauty you're awake_." Arthur said down the line. " _Sleep well_?"

"I did. Wish I hadn't slept so late but Jarvis shut the sunblinds so the sun didn't wake me." She explained, testing the temperature of the water.

" _Good. You needed it. How's your head?"_

Rory glanced in the mirror and started peeling the strip of gauze off her skin. "Better. Tony looked at it when I got in yesterday… No stitches. It's almost healed. Hurts a bit though," she winced as she pressed on the bruise that was fading.

" _You let Stark near it?"_ Arthur laughed. " _You're brave, love."_

"Tony's fine… technically a doctor." She pointed out as she held the phone up so she could shuck her shirt. "So what are you calling for?" She asked, placing the phone between her ear and shoulders so she could pull her underwear down her hips.

" _Can't I just call my best friend and see how she pulled up?"_

"Well yeah, sure… but I'm kinda about to get in the shower and wash broken bits of New York off me and I'm wondering if there was something you needed." She tested the water again. Nice and warm. Her sore muscles sang for joy.

" _Oooh so you're naked right now?"_

"Arthur…"

" _I can hear the shower. You're completely nude right now on the phone to me."_

"Oh please."

" _Think of what people will say."_ He laughed.

"I'm hanging up on you now." She sighed, shaking her head at the glee in his voice.

" _Jas wants to do dinner so I'll pick you up at 7 ok?"_

"See you then." Rory replied before she hung up. She tossed her phone onto the counter and stepped under the jets. She let out a sigh as the heat seeped into her muscles and she just stood for a few minutes, letting the water wash over her.

When she was done she stepped out of the shower and combed her fingers through her blonde locks, making a mental note to get some dye to return them to their natural auburn hue. She wasn't too fond of the blonde, she wasn't sure it suited her. She gave a shrug at her reflection and moved back into her room to pull on some slightly baggy clothes.

She spared a glance at the two doors on her hall, wondering which was Clint's and which was Steve's but the rumble of her stomach won out and she pressed the button for the elevator instead.

She was only half surprised to find Natasha Romanoff, Clint and Dr. Bruce Banner all in the kitchen. The really surprising part was how domestic Natasha looked standing at the stove flipping pancakes while Clint leant against the counter beside her, drinking from a coffee cup. She was, after all, the world's deadliest assassin and this was so… domestic.

"Hey Dugan." Clint smiled warmly when he saw her enter.

"Dugan?" Natasha asked, looking up from the stove in surprise. Rory knew too well that Natasha had heard someone enter she just mustnt've been expecting it to be her.

"Clint." Rory returned his smile, happy to see him completely alive and well. She crossed the kitchen and hugged him tightly.

"How're you kid? You're blonde, and back? I wasn't expecting you back for another month at least." He held her tightly. The two had been friends as long as they'd worked together; Rory was like the younger sister Clint had wanted but never had and they'd been brought even closer when Clint was made her official SO a few years back. They didn't work together very often anymore but she still valued his opinion over most others.

"End of the world. All agents needed." Rory pulled away from him. "How are you? Word was you were compromised?" She placed a hand against his cheek to check him over, looking at him in concern. He looked like hell, battered and bruised; but then again so did everyone else.

"I was. It was hell. Tasha hit me hard enough to knock him out of my head," Clint's mouth lifted in a slight smile and he glanced at the red head flipping fluffy pancakes onto a plate. She smiled and handed it to him. "But I'm ok."

"I called it cognitive recalibration. It seemed to be pretty effective." Natasha said, winking at Rory who laughed and agreed. "It's good to see you, Dugan. Where were you in all of this?"

"Ground zero. Helping coordinate rescue teams and evac buildings. It was a pretty crazy day." Rory replied as she lowered herself onto a barstool.

A small smile turned Natasha's lips. "Crazy doesn't even begin to cover it." She murmured before looking up. "Bruce?" Natasha called out to the man at the table, one Rory had only ever seen the file of, and waved a plate in his direction.

"Sure." He nodded, looking at them over the top of the morning paper. The Hulk was splashed across the front and his mouth was pulled in worry. "Hello." He nodded at Rory.

She grabbed a bowl and a box of cereal and pulled them closer to her. "Hey. I'm Aurora."

"Nice to meet you." Bruce nodded, moving the paper for Natasha to place the plate in front of him. "I take it you're an agent too?"

"I am." She replied. "I missed your show in Culver. I heard it was impressive." She smiled at him. He glanced at her warily. "I was otherwise occupied babysitting Stark before being posted in New Mexico." She explained, smiling as she remembered the first time Tony had ever found out what her real job was. "Apparently a God trumps a big, green rage monster."

"I can see how he would." Bruce mused, returning her smile. Rory tucked into her cereal as her stomach growled loudly again.

"What are you even doing in the tower, kid?" Clint asked around a mouthful of pancakes.

"My apartment was destroyed and Tony owed me a favour." Rory replied around a mouthful of milk and Captain Crunch. There were various reasons why they were friends.

"So he's forgiven you for lying about your job?" Natasha mused, finally flicking off the stove and taking a seat beside Bruce. "Lucky. He's still calling me Natalie and trying to ignore me."

"I don't even think it registered to him that I worked for SHIELD." She shrugged. "By the time I got to him I think too much had happened for it to make a difference." Rory said around a mouthful. Natasha let out a hum of amusement. The silence wasn't long lasting as the door opened to reveal Steve in a tight shirt and some sweats, yawning widely.

"Morning Cap." Natasha greeted him. "Pancakes?"

"Hey Natasha, Clint… Bruce." His eyes made contact with Rory's and she gave him a small smile. His back stiffened. "Agent Dugan." He said quietly. "Coffee first, please."

"Sure. Coffee maker's on the counter, mugs are in that cupboard." Natasha nodded in the direction of the coffee, giving Rory a curious look. Natasha was well aware of the order that had been given to Aurora and Rory could see her brain ticking over as she tried to figure out how they'd been broken.

Rory shrugged and pushed her bowl away. Bruce looked between everyone, feeling the tension in the room. Steve busied himself at the coffee maker, not entirely sure how to use it but not willing to turn around just yet.

"Captain Rogers?" Rory spoke up in a light voice. Steve turned to face her, the mug in his hand. "I just wanted to apologise for Tony last night. He was out of line and completely rude." She sat up straighter, ignoring Natasha's piercing look.

"You know, I should be used to Tony by now but that was a shock." Steve looked away from her then and reached for a coffee mug. "It's not a big deal."

His back was still stiff and Rory could smell the lie coming off him. Before she could call him out it, Clint spoke instead.

"What'd the ass do now?" The archer asked, shaking his head.

"Stark was very blunt in informing Captain Rogers about who my grandparents are." She explained, glancing at Natasha. Natasha rolled her eyes, a small but amused smile on her face as she realised what had happened.

"Oh yeah, didn't you know Cap? Her grandparents were two of SHIELD's finest agents. Hell, Dugan taught me everything I know and then some. Carter could kick my ass without even – Ow hey, quit it!"

Natasha cut Clint's enthusiasm off with a pinch to the leg. She gave him a look and his brow furrowed. Rory shook her head, wanting to smack her forehead with her palm. A look of realisation crossed Clint's face and he let out a soft 'ohhh' noise.

"Friends of yours then?" Clint cleared his throat. Steve's shoulders sagged ever so slightly.

"Dugan was my teammate on the Howling Commando's. Peggy – Agent Carter – was a very good friend. She helped recruit me for Operation: Rebirth." He replied stiffly. "I wasn't aware any relative of theirs worked for SHIELD." Steve's eyes flicked to Rory again over his coffee mug and Rory could see the baby blues studying her closely.

"Oh yeah Rory's been here 5 years and Sharon's been here for – Ow!" Clint was cut off again, this time by Rory's foot connecting with his shin.

"Sharon?" Steve asked, his eyebrow rising. He glanced at Rory. She let out a small sigh.

"Sharon's my cousin, Uncle Harrison is Grandma's brother. This wasn't my fault, by the way." She pointed out to Natasha, who was still giving her a _look_.

"Always a way around for you, Dugan. _Always_." Natasha muttered in amusement. Rory shrugged a shoulder.

"Usually I plan it but I swear this was all Tony's fault. I would have just said hello and been on my way. Followed my _orders_." She rolled her eyes, her voice a very pointed tone of bitter.

"A way around what?" Bruce asked, pushing his glasses up his nose slightly lost in all that was going on. His paper was long forgotten on his lap as he looked between Rory and Steve, Clint and Natasha.

" _Orders?"_ She could hear the surprise in Steve's voice without even looking at him.

Rory cast a guilty look at Steve, finding his eyes still on her watching intently. She let out a sigh and fiddled with the coffee mug in front of her. "I had orders to keep out of anything concerning you." She admitted, sliding a glance at Natasha who was a couple of levels above her in the SHIELD hierarchy and could arrest her on the spot for breaking orders.

"You had literal orders? _To stay away from me…_ " Steve sounded dumbfounded as he looked down at his coffee. "From who?"

"Fury." Natasha spoke this time, giving Rory a sharp look to not say a word. "He even sent her on a mission to get her away from anything concerning you." He looked back up, his eyebrows raised in surprise. Rory threw a grateful look to Natasha before meeting his gaze once more. "She's never been good at following orders."

"Couldn't keep me away otherwise." Rory tried to joke weakly.

"Why?" Steve demanded, ignoring the attempts of both women to lighten the mood.

"Because you're kinda my hero?" Rory replied, feeling slightly awkward "I mean, I grew up hearing about you, Sir. I felt like I was needed to help you." Clint let out a small snort but was silenced again by a look from both Bruce and Natasha.

" _No_ ," Steve shook his head, his ears decidedly red as he blushed at her compliment. "I meant why did you have to stay away from me?"

"Ah." Rory mentally slapped her forehead, her cheeks heating up. "They said it would have been too much of a shock for you." She felt her own cheeks redden. Steve let out a snort before placing his coffee cup down on the counter.

"A shock? _Right_." He said in a cool tone as he placed his coffee mug on the bench. He nodded to her once before walking from the room. The others were silent for a moment before they heard something slam.

"I feel like I should go after him." Rory murmured, bracing her hands on the back of her neck.

"You probably should." Bruce nodded. "It's not nice to be played by SHIELD." Rory glanced at him. "First hand experience." He said before looking at Natasha. "No hard feelings though." He smiled and she returned it, shaking her head slightly.

"None taken. We've all been played by SHIELD once or twice." Natasha turned to Rory and lifted her coffee cup to her lips. She smirked. "Fury's going to have your head for this, by the way." Rory let out a sigh.

"Thankfully this was Tony's fault and _you_ just helped, so he can't be too hard on me." She grinned before hurrying from the kitchen.

She managed to catch up with him at the elevators.

"Captain Rogers, please wait." She said, the doors dinging open. He didn't turn but he did pause, half in-half out of the elevator.

"I asked SHIELD about my old life, about my old friends." Steve said, his voice full of anger. "All they gave me was a box with files, most of which were classified and unreadable."

"I'm sorry…"

"I had nothing to tell me if they were anything more than alive or dead." He continued, stepping inside. She slipped in behind him, not sure what to say. She stayed quiet. He seemed to be on a roll, punching the buttons hard enough for them to creak. "But sending you away because it would be too much of a shock? _Shock_ was waking up to discover the city was twice the size with three times the people." He gestured around himself wildly. " _Shock_ was figuring out I'd missed out on an entire lifetime. _Shock_ would not have been having something, anything to link me to the past." His voice was hard and even though Rory knew his anger wasn't directed at her, it still made her insides squirm. "Shock wouldn't have been talking to someone who knew what had happened to my friends. Who could have told me Peg…"

His sentence was left hanging and the elevator dinged, doors opening. Steve didn't move and neither did Rory. His shoulders heaved as he took in deep breaths.

"Captain?" She asked, her voice soft.

"Was she happy?" His voice cracked and when he looked up at her Rory could see the red rimming his eyes. She swallowed and nodded.

"Yes." She couldn't lie. Her grandmother and grandfather had been incredibly happy together, raising their four grandchildren around busy SHIELD lives.

"Did she look for me?" His voice again cracked and he swallowed hard, clenching his fists.

"Every day for 10, maybe 11 years." Rory lifted her lips to a smile. "You were never forgotten, by either of them." She reached forward and tentatively touched his shoulder with her fingertips. He flinched but when he didn't move she placed her whole hand against him, feeling his bodyheat through the thin t-shirt he was wearing. "Do you need me to call someone for you?" She asked, unsure about what to do next.

Steve shook his head. "No. I have a session with my Doctor tomorrow, I don't need anything else." His cheeks and neck flushed red and he looked down at his feet.

Embarrassment flooded through him as he realised that someone he barely knew had seen his little break. Men of his day were meant to be strong, and he was the protector of a nation. Protectors didn't need help with anything but keeping their families and country safe.

Rory's brow furrowed. "You mean you don't have an agent assigned to you, to make sure you're alright?" The man, it seemed, had been doing this alone and Rory felt a surge of protectiveness for her life long hero. He was obviously not quite one hundred percent about everything modern and with what had happened in the last 24 hours Rory was beginning to recognise the signs of a panic attack, one that went hand in hand with PTSD.

"No ma'am. I don't need anyone." Steve shook his head and straightened up.

"Not even someone to just talk to?" She raised an eyebrow and let her hand fall from his shoulder. Her palm was warm from his body temperature and she clenched her fist to keep it like that.

A muscle in Steve's jaw twitched. " _No_ ma'am."

"It's just Rory, Cap." Rory said, running a hand through her hair. Steve only nodded, saying nothing else. "Look, I'm sorry SHIELD fucked up, I really am - "

Steve's eyes widened at the language used by such a feminine woman. Steve swore occasionally but he didn't usually use it every day life and he certainly didn't use it in mixed company. He wasn't used to women being so liberal with their speech. " – and if it's any consolation they knew I'd break my orders anyway, which is why I was sent away," A hint of a smirk met her lips. "But there's no sense in being mad about it now."

"With all due respect ma'am –" He ignored her exasperated gasp of ' _it's Rory'_. "SHIELD has kept me in the dark about a lot of things. This is my past. This is something I specifically asked for and they sent you away." He pressed the button to open the doors as they'd closed sometime during their argument. "but I know it's not your fault." He said as he stepped out of the elevators and took off down the hall. Rory stood and let her head fall back against the wall of the carriage with a dull _thunk_.

Her brothers' PTSD had been the same the first time he'd come back from Afghanistan. One minute he'd be shaking and looking like he was going to cry, the next he'd be mad at the world and looking to destroy something. Thankfully Grant couldn't destroy much but Steve…

She wondered if she would make it worse for him, by being around. That had been the biggest reason cited by psychologists when she'd asked why she was being ordered away.

She'd been told she looked more like her Pa than Grandma Peg. Naturally her hair was auburn, closer to red than brown, and her was face long, with high apple cheeks and a slender nose to even it out. Her eyes weren't quite as dark as Peg's; hers were more of a light brown, swimming at times into a golden amber, but they were as wide and round and as expressive as the Original SHIELD Agent.

Maybe he'd see that in her and it would trigger something.

Or maybe he did just need the ties to his past to keep him grounded.

The only thing she was one-hundred-percent sure about was that as soon as Director Fury found out she'd met and spoken to him, he was going to hand her her ass on a shiny silver platter.

Possibly her gun and her badge too.

* * *

Steve paced down the hall, a man on a mission, and didn't bother to knock on Director Fury's new office door on the 64th floor of Stark Tower's. It swung wide, bouncing back off the wall behind it with a snap.

"Captain Rogers?" Fury looked up, the eyebrow over his eyepatch raised in genuine surprise. "What can I do for you?"

"Dugan and Peggy married." Steve managed to choke out, his hands balling into fists. "Dugan and Peggy married and their granddaughter works for SHIELD. Her niece _also_ works for SHIELD. How many more people from my past are tied up in this place?"

Fury's face hardened for a second and then he let out an exasperated breath. "Agent Aurora Dugan works for us, yes. As does Agent Sharon Carter," He nodded. "Has done for going on Five years. Six for Sharon."

"Aurora had orders to stay away from me." Steve unclenched his fists, his shoulders tense. It wasn't the first time Fury had withheld information from him. Only 24 hours earlier he'd been standing in a bay on the helicarrier, looking at Hydra weapons that he'd been told didn't exist.

But that hadn't come with crippling hurt and confusion as to why something from his personal life was kept from him.

"Agent Dugan has been posted in Monaco on an assignment. She arrived back recently and will be – "

" _Was_ she ordered to stay away from me?" Steve cut over his superior, his voice uncharacteristically strained. Fury closed his mouth and debated over his answer for a few seconds. " _Fury_." Steve demanded.

"Yes, she was and so was Agent Carter." The director finally admitted, his face impassive and blank. "It was for your own good."

Steve's face contorted with anger. "My _own_ – Who the hell are you to decide what's good for me and what's not?" His fists were clenched again. "I specifically _asked_ for information on my old team. I _needed_ it."

"And I delivered, Captain. I gave you everything SHIELD had on file for them." Fury held his ever-cool demeanour and watched the Captain with his one good eye.

Steve leant forward and splayed his fingers on the desk. "I didn't realise I had to be specific. I wanted to know what had happened to them, if they were alive, their families… who'd they'd married." His voice wavered on the last one and he looked down at his hands. "I wanted my _past_."

"Agent Dugan is not your past. She's 26 years old and from Boston. Doctor Holstein believed that her relation to both Agents Timothy Dugan and Margaret Carter would be too much for you to handle." Fury steepled his fingers in front of his face, watching as the Captain struggled to not lose his temper.

" _Why_?"

"Shock does funny things to men. You, of all people, should know that." He sounded self-righteous, like he'd won, and Steve looked up at him.

"Do you know what it's like to have absolutely no fucking clue what happened to everyone you once knew? Hmm?" He stared down at Fury as he lost his temper, his fingers leaving dents in the wood of the desk beneath them.

He'd spend the last three weeks awake in this new world wondering what had happened to Peggy, to Dugan, to all his Howling Commando's and he could have been told by someone who knew them personally.

He choked as he realised it could have been by someone who'd _been raised by them_.

Fury said nothing as he stared back, unwavering as he watched Steve rant which only infuriated him more. Steve shook his head in disgust.

"You know nothing about me and don't ever assume you do again, understood?" Steve shook his head, turning to leave the office.

"Captain Rogers." Director Fury called out to him and he turned with a sigh. "I believe you need to call Doctor Holstein and bring your appointment up to today."

Steve opened his mouth to argue.

"That's an order."

Gritting his teeth he nodded, opening the door and slamming it behind him.

* * *

"Rory, stay over the sink!"

"I _am_ over the sink."

"No you're not, you're dipping dye all over the floor."

Rory let out an exasperated sigh and pushed her head further over the bathroom sink. Her cousin, Sharon Carter, turned the faucet on and started to rinse the dye from Rory's hair.

"Don't worry about the floor." Pepper said absently from where she was half-watching from the doorway. "Tony wanted to redecorate this suite soon anyway… Just try not to ruin my shirt." She added, glancing up from her palm pilot.

Rory pulled the towel tighter around her shoulders, hoping it covered the expensive shirt she'd borrowed from her friend. After her run in with Steve she'd decided she needed to get out of the tower. She'd needed some essential items anyway, namely clothes and toiletries and to do this she needed to borrow some clothes from Pepper.

Pepper had needed some things as well and, while there, Rory had called Sharon to make sure her cousin was still alive, inviting her along too.

"Ow! You're pulling my hair!" she whined, wishing now she hadn't thought to call the blonde.

"I am not pulling your hair, you're just a big baby." Sharon replied, tugging on Rory's hair for good measure. Rory stepped on her toe for her own good measure. "Ow! Hey, that wasn't nice." The older woman laughed a little. Rory rolled her eyes and stared down at the russet coloured water circling the drain. "Did Steve like the shirts, Pepper?" Sharon asked.

"He wasn't in." She replied. "I'll give them to him later. He'll probably be embarrassed but he needs something to wear when they send Loki and Thor back to Asgard."

Rory lifted her head. "When are they doing that?" She turned to look at Pepper.

"Rory!" Sharon exclaimed as she was showered with water. She grabbed her cousins' neck and pushed her back to the sink.

"Next couple of days, according to Tony." Pepper said, taking a small step back. "Fury wants all the Avengers there but not in costume. He wants it to be subtle."

"Their faces were on every news station in the world, there's going to be nothing subtle about it." Rory snorted, shaking her head.

"Definitely not." Sharon murmured. "Alright, you're good." She tapped Rory's back.

Rory straightened up again, turning the faucets off and squeezing the excess water out of her now-red hair. She looked at herself in the mirror.

"Oh look, there I am." She smiled at her reflection, rubbing the wet locks with a towel.

"I don't know why you didn't like the blonde." Pepper asked, glancing up from her tablet again. "It suited you."

"It just wasn't me." She shrugged. Sharon stopped up beside her and inspected herself in the mirror.

"Definitely not. There can only be one blonde in this family." She winked at her cousin before bumping her with her hip. Rory laughed, shaking her head. "So tell me, was Captain America all you expected him to be when you were up close with the man himself?"

Rory's ears turned red at the teasing tone of Sharon's voice. "He was fine." She replied, turning away from the mirror. Sharon laughed.

"Awh you're all shy." She teased.

"Shut up, Sharon. He was so mad… it was hard to focus on anything but that." She hung the towels up before she smiled. "But his eyes are every bit as dreamy as Grandma said."

Sharon and Pepper both laughed as Rory crossed back into the bedroom. "It's ridiculous how blue they are." Pepper agreed.

"What was it Aunt Peg called them? Patriotic?"

"So patriotic." Rory agreed. "He seemed so… angry. So lost." She corrected as an afterthought. "Are you going to break your orders now and talk to him?" She asked Sharon, taking a seat on the end of her bed.

"To see those patriotic blue eyes?" Sharon asked. "I think I might have to; and now Fury's wrath is directed on you I won't get into trouble for it." She grinned.

"His wrath is not directed at me."

" _Miss Dugan? Director Fury requests to see you in his office."_ Jarvis' voice cut over the top of the cousins.

"Speak of the devil." Pepper let out a laugh.

Rory's eyes widened. "Tell him I'm busy?"

There was silence for a moment and all three women held their breath.

" _I told him you were busy and he said to tell you that if he has to come up here himself it won't be pretty."_ Jarvis replied after a long wait.

Sharon laughed before looking at Rory. "What were you saying about not having Fury's wrath?" She batted her eyelashes at Rory, flashing her a grin.

Rory gave her a withering look. "Thanks Jarvis. Tell him I'm on my way." She slid her feet into some new flats (cute, purple ones that Pepper and Sharon both insisted she needed) and headed for the door.

"Hey, if Fury actually kills you this time can I have Biscuit?" Sharon asked as they walked down the hall to the elevator.

"My dog?" Rory raised an eyebrow. "No!" She shook her head. "Pa would fight you for him." She laughed, thinking about how much her grandfather loved her silly Golden Retriever. Pepper pressed the button to the 64th floor and the doors slid closed.

"What about your playstation?"

"Lost in the invasion."

"Damn." Sharon sighed. The elevator doors opened again. "It was so nice knowing you." She smiled and Rory stepped out, flipping her off as the doors slid shut.

She turned on her heel, taking a deep breath before searching for Fury's temporary office. The door was open but she still knocked.

"Agent Dugan." Fury didn't look up as she stepped into the office. Rory looked around. Every available wall space had been fitted with computer monitors and smart glass each buzzing with news reports, SHIELD intel and messages from various counter-terrorism agencies around the world. With the wave of his hand they all went blank and Rory turned her attention to her Director.

"Director Fury." She replied, saluting him. She stood in front of his desk and folded her hands in front of her. "Jarvis said you wanted to see me, sir?"

"Can you tell me why I had a very irate Captain Rogers in here this morning, yelling at me about lying to him and then denting my desk with his temper?" Fury finally looked up at her, the full power of his single-vision glare both impressing and terrifying her.

She glanced down at the desk to find two, very large dents in the shape of hands in the mahogany of Fury's desk.

"Well, you see Sir – "

"Stop." Fury held a hand up. "Whenever you start a sentence with that I'm never happy with the ending." Rory closed her mouth with a barely audible snap. " _Orders_ Agent Dugan. You had a very specific set of orders, didn't you?" Fury continued.

"Yes sir, but – "

"What were they, Agent Dugan?" He interrupted her.

Rory sighed. "I was to stay completely away from anything to do with Captain Rogers until such time as his psychiatrist deemed him fit enough, mentally, to handle the stress that knowing what happened to people who had been close to him." She repeated, verbatim, what she'd been told months earlier. It wasn't the first time she'd been asked to repeat it back to her superior. In fact, he'd made her memorise it purely so he knew that she knew she had no wiggle room.

"Exactly. So what part of that did you not understand?" Fury asked, still peering at her with his one eye while the eyebrow over his patch rose.

"I understood it all perfectly, _sir_." Rory refrained from rolling her eyes.

"Then how does Captain Rogers know about you and your family?"

"Tony Stark, Sir." She replied. Fury gestured for her to continue. "I came here last night because Tony owed me a favour and my apartment was destroyed. He introduced us, explained who I was. I had no idea Captain Rogers would be here."

Fury linked his fingers, palm to palm and watched her, his gaze unwavering. "And this morning was Tony as well?"

Rory winced. "Actually, Clint Barton, Sir."

"Oh? Clint Barton this time." Fury nodded sarcastically.

"Natasha Romanoff too."

"How is it always someone else's fault, Aurora?"

"You knew I would break these orders, Nick, I don't know why you're surprised." Rory did roll her eyes this time, not bothering with formalities. She'd known Nick Fury her whole life. He'd been 'Uncle Nicky' to her right up until she'd graduated from the Academy and he put her on the payroll. "It's why you sent me on that mission."

"Partially," He nodded. "Yes, it is. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. Your unique situation with Captain Rogers made things difficult for us. The psychiatrist in charge of Captain Rogers felt that he'd be in a delicate state when he woke up, that things would need to be broken to him softly – "

"Bull shit!" Rory scoffed, folding her arms across her. "That man fought Nazi's, Nick. He fought a man worse than the Nazi's who pulled the skin clear off his face and then flew away in a rocket ship. Hell, he just fought against aliens and along side _gods_." She glanced at Fury, hoping his friendship with her grandfather would come through and help her keep her job. "He would have cracked a long time before not if he was that delicate. Instead he's taken everything in his stride –"

"Except for this. He was just in here, losing his temper – "

"Because you kept him in the _dark_. You lied to him. _Purposely_. He's in this world alone, surrounded by people who treat him like a science experiment and a weapon." She breathed out, trying to control her temper. "He needed his past."

"He _is_ a weapon and a science experiment."

Rory's mouth dropped open. That was the single most insensitive thing she'd heard from anyone, including Tony Stark. She leant forward, her fingers fitting into the grooves Steve's had left in the wood.

"There is still a human being in him, Fury. He still has feelings and thoughts and memories. He just wants closure." Her voice was cool as she met his cylops gaze head on.

"You are not a psychiatrist and it is not your decision to make." Fury's nostrils flared as he stared up at her, his expression cold but Rory could see he was thinking hard about something. She took the chance to keep talking.

"He's grieving for his past – which you're keeping from him. He wants to know. He _needs_ to know. He knows I exist now and he's going to keep asking me and I will not lie to him." Rory shook her head, damp strands of hair falling in her face. She pushed them back defiantly and never letting her gaze waver.

"You should be demoted to intern and hand in your gun for breaking those orders." Fury glanced up at her, warily. "Fired, even."

"Technically it was Tony." She shrugged, holding his gaze.

"As it is," Fury ignored her and continued. "You're demoted to desk jobs and paper work. There's plenty of it right now." Fury leant forward in his seat, looking down at the page in front of him. If there was one thing Nick Fury knew, it was that arguing with Aurora Dugan was a lost cause. She was too much like Peggy Carter, all head strong and intelligent. If she got a thought in her head she didn't let it go, damn the repercussions. It's what made her one if his finest agents, although he'd never admit it to her.

"You know I'm right." Rory couldn't help but feel triumphant.

"Don't make me rethink your punishment." Fury glanced up at her. She nodded, closing her mouth. "Get out."

Rory nodded once, saluting Fury, before turning on her heel and walking out of his office. She let out a shaky breath, chuckling to herself slightly as she walked back to her suite, wondering how that would have gone for anyone that wasn't Tim Dugan and Peggy Carter's granddaughter.

* * *

Author's Note

Hope you enjoy. I'm enjoying receiving your feedback. Thankyou for your time.

Playlist:

Run Boy Run - Woodkid

The Game has Changed - Daft Punk

Box of Secrets - Zarif


	4. No Consequence

Show Me That You're Human

Chapter 4: No Consequence

* * *

The first time Steve met Doctor Erica Holstein had been in the first few moments after he'd woken up, lost and confused in this strange new world. She had been dressed as a military officer from his time and it had almost convinced him, had the baseball game playing on the radio not been one he'd actually attended, he would have believed it.

He'd been taken aback by how young she was; the pretty brunette had looked no older than 20 to him, nowhere near old enough to be a Doctor. She assured him however, in their first session together after he'd come back to SHIELD, that she was 31 and a half and had worked most of her life to attain her doctorate in psychiatry and her PHD in military history. She was literally the most perfect person in the world to deal with him and right up until this poit she'd been doing a pretty great job.

But this time he felt she was wrong.

"Talk to me, Steve. How do you feel, now that you know?" Doctor Holstein's voice was soft and soothing and only aided to irritate Steve further. He didn't want to be here, didn't want to be talking about this to anyone but Agent Dugan. He especially didn't want to be talking to the woman who thought she knew better than he did about his own mind.

"Angry." He clenched and unclenched his fists and forced his words out. "Betrayed. Alone. Confused."

"Confused?" The Doc prompted. Steve glanced at her, meeting her deep-set, brown eyes.

"Confused as to why you thought you would know what I needed." He had no problems challenging the woman. She was obviously intelligent and strong; she had to be if she dealt with the things her line of work would produce.

"We evaluated the situation, Steven. It wasn't just me, there were a team of behavioural psychologists and psychiatrists working together on this." She rested her fingertips against her cheek. He sucked in a breath and smelled the sweet perfume she'd always worn. It tickled his nose. "We felt that the shock of finding out about what had happened in the past 70 years would be too much for you to handle, on top of whatever post traumatic stress disorder you may have already had from your time in the war."

"You didn't even ask me, how could you possibly know?" Steve asked, taking a deep breath to try and calm his rapidly beating heart.

"Educated guesses." She replied simply. "You're very important, Captain. Director Fury and the team only want what's best for you." Steve's jaw clenched at that.

"I feel like I'm just a weapon to Fury, something he needs to use… I thought I had no one from my old life but she's – _they've_ – been there the whole time." He unclenched his fists again and ran them through his hair. "Why didn't you tell me, Doc?" He asked, trying to keep the desperation out of his voice. "I asked you more than once."

"I needed to make sure you could handle it and not have an attack." She gave him a pointed, almost amused look and his eyes narrowed.

"I'm _not_ having an attack of anything." He bit stubbornly.

"You're having a panic attack." She corrected. "A perfectly normal part of PTSD, or Shellshock as you would call it." She tucked a strand of deep brown hair over her ear and placed her pen and pad of paper on the desk in front of her. The smell of spun sugar, an element of her perfume he guessed, intensified and he held his breath. "You were frozen in traumatic circumstances, after a war. You have to see it from our perspective, Steve. We wanted to make sure you could handle it. Your mind, my mind, the _human_ mind is a very delicate thing. We were going to tell you, but the invasion on New York sped things up slightly, as did Agent Dugan telling you about her relationship to you –"

"It was Tony." He muttered and then fell silent. He understood perfectly well why they hadn't told him initially. Waking up in the new world had been enough to send him into a tailspin for a good week, maybe two. He barely ate, didn't sleep and had felt stressed out of his mind. Doc Holstein had worked night and day with him and he was very grateful to her.

But she'd lied. He'd asked more than once about the people who he'd used to know and she'd told him stuff straight from the file.

"I needed to know what happened to my friends." Steve said finally, his voice soft. "You estimated wrong." He stood, feeling his temper start to rise again.

"Where are you going, Steve?" Dr. Holstein asked, looking up at his tall frame.

"Out." He grunted, not bothering to be polite or look at her. He needed to get out and escape. He felt trapped, cooped up. Angry.

"We still have 40 minutes of this session." She pointed out.

"Roll them over till next time, Doc. I need to get out." He pulled the door open and slammed it behind him, striding quickly to the elevator.

He went to his room and gathered his gym bag.

Not long after he'd woken up he'd gone exploring the city on a motorcycle he'd bought on a whim and had stumbled upon a boxing gym in Brooklyn that reminded him of the ones that had been around in the 40s. It had appeared to be going out of business so he'd approached the owner and promised to pay the rent every month if he could use the gym whenever he wanted.

The elderly man – _"Call me Patrick, lad"_ – had agreed immediately and handed over a key. Sometimes he stayed and watched Steve, swapping stories about his glory days as a champion boxer. Steve liked him, he reminded him of his old friends. It'd shocked him to think most of them would be older than Patrick now.

His only problem was that the bags were old as he was supposed to be and although still in good condition, they were no match for his super strength. He'd busted more in the first week than there were in the whole gym and he'd had to splash out for a couple of new ones.

He didn't mind. He had more money than he knew what to do with and fixing this place up gave him a small purpose in life. Maybe one day he'd buy the place, open it up again and help people.

He snorted and rolled his eyes at the thought. SHIELD would never let him leave. He was too valuable to them. An "asset to warfare" if Colonel Philip's words still rang true. He didn't doubt for a second that they did.

"Hey Cap." Clint called out to him as Steve shut the door to his apartment.

"Barton." Steve answered curtly, turning his back on his fellow Avenger.

"Where you goin'?"

"Gym." He grunted without turning. Clint knew where he meant and where it was. At least one person knew where he'd be so SHIELD couldn't stress completely. He was fairly sure SHIELD had the place tapped anyway as Nick had found him there before the alien invasion.

He rode the elevator down and let out a deep breath as he guided his bike out onto the quiet street. He hadn't even known he'd been holding it but now, as his blood pumped through his veins, he realised it must have been holding it for a long time.

He was mad at the whole institute that was SHIELD but he really had nowhere else to go. It was a rock and a hard place scenario and the best thing for him to do right now was to work off the tension the easiest way he knew how.

He parked in front of the gym and went inside to set up for a long night of repetitive boxing drills that would hopefully leave him satisfyingly sore and his brain numb and unable to think about anything else.

It worked for a while. The combinations dulled his senses until all he heard was the _whooshing_ of blood in his ears. But then another sound filled them; a sweet voice calling his name through a choked sob.

" _Steve_ …"

"I gotta put her down."

" _Steve come back._ "

" _8pm sharp, don't you dare be late._ "

"Steve…?"

A low whistled sounded from behind him as the bag flew off its chain, scattering beads over the floor, landing with a heavy thud two feet away from him. He turned and stared at the petite red-headed dame watching him from the doorway.

"That's a mean right hook you have there, Captain." Her lips turned up in a smile and he let out a surprised huff of recognition.

"Agent Dugan?" He raised an eyebrow, his eyes flicking over her new appearance. "Weren't you a blonde this morning?" It had only been a few hours but she looked completely different. Her hair, which had been a bright, corn-silk blonde was now a deep red, bordering on brown that reminded him of fall. It suited her, made her skin look lighter and her eyes more gold than brown.

"Wasn't it awful?" She pulled a face, running a hand through her hair. "This is much more _me_." Her lips tilted into a smile again and Steve met her gaze.

"It wasn't awful. I thought it looked pretty good." He dropped his gaze as he complimented her, focusing instead on the wraps binding his hands.

"Well thanks." Rory replied. "Tony thought it was awful." She chuckled, dropping her hand back down to her side. Steve glanced back up as he unwound his left hand and dropped the wraps onto his bag.

"Can I help you with anything, Agent?" He asked when she didn't say anything more.

"Rory is fine, sir." She told him, squaring her shoulders. "Permission to approach, Captain?" She nodded her head toward him and Steve's lips twitched. He couldn't tell if she was asking seriously or ironically. Something in her eyes told him it was ironic; there was a mischievous glint there that'd he'd seen much too often when discussing recklessly stupid tactics with Dugan.

"Don't you have orders to stay away from me?" Steve couldn't keep the bitterness from his voice. It may not have been Rory's fault but he was still hurt by everything. She could have made contact, away or not he was only too aware of all the means of communication in the modern world. It was petty, yes, but after everything he believed he was entitled to 'petty'.

"That's why I'm here." She replied, the mischievous glint suddenly turning determined and defiant and he recognised that look too. That look was famous to Peggy Carter when she defied her own direct orders.

"Granted." He nodded, pulling at the remaining wrap. His eyes didn't leave Rory as she approached the bench where his bag sat. She was effortlessly pretty, he thought, as he took in her tousled red hair and plain white tshirt and jeans. She stuck Steve as the kind of girl that didn't try to hard to look good but when she did she was a knockout.

 _Just like Peggy._

His cheeks flushed at the thought and he dropped his eyes.

"I was never good at following orders." Rory explained, stopping in front of him. She folded her arms across her chest and studied his face.

She'd seen him up close three times now and each time she was surprised that he was actually real. This man was her childhood hero. She'd grown up hearing the exciting and heroic tales of his accomplishments and she'd always dreamed of meeting him – and now there he was. 6'4 feet tall with sweat-slicked blonde hair and eyes the most amazing shade of blue she'd ever seen. He was exactly how her grandmother had described and she could see what had turned her head.

"Following orders doesn't exactly run in your blood, I guess."

Steve let out a huff of a laugh at his joke. Rory's smile widened and she shook her head, causing loose curls to fall over her shoulder.

"Not overly, no." She replied. "I wanted to apologise for it all. SHIELD, Tony…" She frowned, her lips turning down into an unhappy scowl. " _Fury_."

Steve watched her for a moment. She looked as mad as he felt and he softened toward her slightly. "It's not your fault." He said finally, shaking his head. "They sent you away."

"Because they knew I'd break my orders."

Steve dropped down on the bench, still studying her. "That's what counts then." He said lamely, not sure what else he could say. There was so much he wanted to ask, so much he wanted to know, but he didn't. He couldn't. She was probably already in trouble just for standing in front of him, if she told him anything it would probably cost her her job.

"If I'd stayed I would have found you."

"I don't doubt that, ma'am." Steve chuckled slightly, finally smiling at her. Rory let out a silent sigh of relief at that and returned the smile. She was glad he wasn't hostile toward her. She knew he was mad but she was going to do everything she could to help. She swung her leg over the bench and sat on the other side of his bag.

"How'd you find me now anyway?" Steve asked, tucking the wraps from his other hand into his bag.

"Oh you know, my super secret agent powers." She shrugged, glancing around the gym her eyes wide and brightly taking everything in. She brought her teeth between her teeth in a girlish smile as she turned back to him and Steve couldn't help but snort.

"Really?"

She laughed. "Nah. Clint heard me knocking on your door and told me I could find you here. Nice place actually, except…" She paused and stood, pacing over to a picture hanging on the wall. She reached up and peeled a small, black thing off the frame and dropped it to the floor. She stamped on it. "Did you know the place is bugged?"

"I had my suspicions." He sighed, shaking his head. "Explains why they never wigged out about me coming here."

"Pretty much. I sent the agent they had tailing you home." She explained and he looked up at her in surprise. "I'm guessing you didn't know about that one at all."

"No." He shook his head, his voice low.

"Hey." He glanced up at her and she smiled. "Don't worry about it. I'll talk to Fury. They were just worried about you. I'll get them to ease off now." He just nodded at her and she could tell he was upset. "So how'd you find the place?" She asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"There wasn't much to do when I first woke up so… I wandered." Steve explained, turning to look at her.

"We're in Brooklyn." Rory said, raising an impressed eyebrow.

"I don't sleep much." He replied, a slight shrug to his hunched shoulders. "So I wandered. Found this place, offered to pay the guy his rent if I could use it whenever I wanted. He gave me a key and, well," He paused. "It's my sanctuary." He smiled and looked around the place. "Well it was." He added, his smile falling.

"Ah. Well I'm sorry for intruding." Said Rory, wincing slightly. She knew what it was like to have her space invaded. Rory was big on personal and private space. Steve looked back at her, waving a hand.

"It's ok. I don't mind _you_ being here." He assured her. "It's SHIELD I don't like being here."

"Well I'm clearly _not_ SHIELD right now and I'll make sure SHIELD doesn't touch this place after tonight. That reminds me…" She held out her hand to him, smiling lightly. "Hi, I'm Aurora Dugan, but call me Rory."

Steve quirked an eyebrow as he looked from her hand to her smile, unsure of what she was doing. His hand engulfed hers when he took it and she laughed lightly, wiggling her fingers against his palm. "and you are?" She prompted, still smiling.

"I'm Steve… Uh Steve Rogers, ma'am."

"Nice to meet you, Steve. Come here often?" She winked as she shook his hand.

"Oh, you know. Sometimes. I've never seen you here before." He laughed, letting her hand go. She was like a breath of fresh air that he so desperately needed, from her grin to her laugh to her bright eyes. She was what he needed.

"I'm new. Thought I'd introduce myself."

"Well it's very nice to meet you, ma'am." He nodded as if tipping a hat. They were silent a beat before Steve laughed again. "What was that?" He asked, listening as she laughed with him. Her laugh was pretty and happy and he really liked it, he decided.

"A better introduction than the one we were given." She explained, running a hand through her curls. Steve smiled at that and nodded. "Our one sucked and first impressions count for so much."

"Good idea." He murmured. "Thanks."

"Anything you want to ask me?" She asked, leaning back on her hands. There was a teasing in her voice that suggested asking her a question was the obvious thing to do and Steve glanced at her. He found her watching him, eyes sparkling again.

"What?"

She laughed. "C'mon you must be dying of curiosity. I'm Peggy and Dugan's granddaughter for gods sake."

Steve pursed his lips. "Nothing that won't get you into trouble." He lifted his shoulders and looked back at his hands, picking idly at a bit of skin that had peeled off his knuckles.

"Do I look like I care about getting into trouble?" She laughed, pushing forward and bringing her knee up under her chin. Her scuffed sneakers squeaked on the metal bench as she shifted and leant against the propped up leg.

"No, but being here probably isn't breaking your full orders. Telling me things could be your final straw." Steve pointed out. Again, Rory grinned.

"It helps that Nick and my grandparents are good friends. I got demoted to a desk job." She said, rolling her eyes. "They can't really do any worse. Perks of knowing too much. It's either that or they kill me."

"Kill you!" Steve choked. "They could kill you?"

"Only one way to find out." Her teeth flashed as she grinned, straight and white and just perfect.

Her reply was a uniquely Dugan response and Steve let out a shaky laugh. He got the feeling that she lived up to the legacy her name held in his head, the kind of person who jumped head first into a situation and damned the consequences. He liked that in a dame.

"You got demoted because of me." He pointed out. "I don't really want to be the cause of your death."

"I got demoted because of _Tony_." She pointed out with a dramatic eyeroll. "They're not going to do anything worse to me, they like Pa too much…So – ask away."

Steve was silent, too many things running through his mind to form one coherent sentence. What had happened after he'd died? Where was Peggy now? Where was Dugan? Could he see them? Did they want to see him? Were they happy?

Questions that had plagued him for the last 3 weeks tumbled around in his mind and he almost missed the soft voice calling out his name. It wasn't until her hand was on his arm that he looked up.

"What happened to Peggy? You said she was happy, but what… _happened_?" He asked finally, after a few minutes of thinking.

"At first she wasn't happen." Rory said slowly, resting her chin on her knee. "She worked for SHIELD behind a desk, cracking codes and just generally having doors slammed in her face." Steve snorted at that, remembering what Peggy had told him the day of the procedure. "But then she cracked the biggest case SHIELD had seen, by herself, and Howard Stark offered her the director position."

"Peggy was Director of SHIELD?" Steve almost choked and pride welled up inside. His girl had gone on to do great things, just like he always knew she would.

"Founder and co-director with Howard. Pa – _Dugan_ – was their second in command, working closely with both of them." Rory smiled, hugging her knee to her chest tightly. "They spent almost 20 years looking for you though. She never gave up. Even after Pa swept her off her feet." Rory remembered her grandmother telling her how Dugan had been a solid rock beside her for so long that she'd finally opened her eyes to what she still had. "Pa doesn't say much, but Grandma always told me he held a certain amount of guilt over falling in love with her. Felt like he'd stolen someone else's girl." Rory chuckled.

"A dead man's girl." Steve shook his head, muttering under his breath. "It doesn't count."

"You look pretty good for a dead man then." Rory said, smiling at him. She nudged his bag with her foot and through that, him and he looked over. "They only had one son, my father. His name was Grant and he married Angela Murray, who he met in college. They were young and had four children, Grant, Timothy, Margaret and myself."

"You're the youngest?"

"Yahuh. I'll be 27 in November." She smiled.

"How did Peg balance being director and a mother?" Steve asked, realising she was the same age he was when he went under.

"She and Pa made it work until my father grew up and moved out. She had to retire though because my parents died and we all moved in with them."

Her voice sounded sad and when Steve looked at her he caught her looking down at her hands, playing with a ring on her right hand.

"How old were you?"

"Just a baby; No older than 3. Grandma and Pa are the only parents I've ever had." She smiled, sad and wistful. "Pa became director after that and Nick was his second in command."

"It sounds like they did well for themselves then." Steve said, feeling a painful constriction in his heart.

"They did, but you were _never_ forgotten." She told him seriously. "I grew up listening to stories of your heroics during the war. Saving Pa and the other Howling Commando's, dancing with the chorus line to raise money for the war –"

"I didn't dance." Steve interjected indignantly. "Who told you I danced?"

Rory stifled a laugh. "Pa." She admitted. "Grandma told the best stories of you though. You were her great love."

This fact made Steve smile a little and the sick feeling in his stomach quell. "What about the others? The other Howling Commando's?" He swallowed.

"Morita lives in France with his wife and 6 kids and their families. Falsworth went back to England and claimed his lordship; he also worked for MI6 until he retired." Rory ticked off on her fingers. "Gabe Jones is a Senator now, in D.C. Lovely family. His granddaughter and I are quite close and his grandson, Trip, and I went through SHIELD Academy together." She looked up at him, smiling happily. "It's not all bad, Steve." She said, reaching over to pat his arm.

"I knew most of that." He pointed out. That information had been given to him in the files SHIELD had actually supplied. "But thanks." He said hastily.

"No problem. If you have any other questions, you know where to find me." She tucked some hair over her ear as she spoke and rested her cheek on her knee again. "Or, you know, questions about life in general; if you just want to hang out… I don't mind." She added, her cheeks flushing slightly.

"Thank you." He aid, grateful that she was willing to put her job on the line to talk to him. "I could use a friend actually."

"Yeah. I know." She replied, earning a surprised look from him. She waved him away and lowered her foot to the floor. "Fury isn't exactly a tactful man. We had a bit of an argument about whether you were human or a weapon."

"Oh yeah?" Steve raised an eyebrow, wondering which he was.

"Yeah. Just thought he should be reminded that there's still a human behind the weapon who deserved to be treated as such." Rory stood, tucking her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. She caught Steve's eye, taking in his surprised yet almost humbled expression. "Don't look so surprised. Not every SHIELD agent is a heartless bastard."

"Not the ones I've met, ma'am." Steve stood also, picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

"Well, now you have." She said, turning for the door. Steve followed her, clicking off lights as they passed by the switches. "Do you need a lift back to the tower?" Rory asked, gesturing to the shiny black car parked out front.

"No, thanks. I have my bike." He gestured to his pride and joy. Rory smile and turned to him.

"Wandered into Brooklyn, huh?"

"I might have ridden." Steve said sheepishly. She laughed and shook her head.

"I was impressed there for a minute."

The car door opened and Steve made for his bike, a little reluctant to end the conversation now. There was so much he wanted to know, and the company was nice. She didn't stare at him, didn't remind him that he was something that was supposed to be special.

She treated him like a human.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" He called out as she started to close the car door.

"No ma'am." She called back, pulling herself above the door to rest on the roof of the car.

"Sorry. Aurora?"

"Yes Steve?"

He rubbed the back of his head, suddenly shy. He'd never been good talking to women, or asking them for things, but Peggy was the exception and Rory was Peggy's granddaughter so it shouldn't be that hard, should it?

"Would you like to, uh, grab dinner? Talk some more about, things?" He tripped on his words. "Not like a date." He added hastily. "Just… friends… 'hanging out'." The modern phrase sounded foreign on his tongue but he couldn't think of the equivalent from his time. He was trying so hard to get used to speaking the modern phrases as it made him feel like he fit in better.

"I have plans tonight, I'm sorry." She replied, shaking her head.

Steve nodded stiffly, swinging his leg over his bike. "That's ok. Uh… some other time then?" He cleared his throat, fiddling with the keys.

"I'm free tomorrow?"

He looked up at her and caught the smile she was sending him. "I'll check my painfully free schedule but I think I can do that." He nodded, smiling slightly.

Rory laughed. "Great! I'm sure I'll see you around the tower anyway." She waved a hand and swung into the car, revving the engine before peeling away. Steve breathed out and looked up. You could never really see stars in the city, but if he squinted hard enough he could pretend.

He used to like to look at the stars when he was alone during the war. His mother liked to tell him stories of the stars. She would say that all fate was mapped out in them, but you had to know what to look for to see it.

Now more than ever he wished he could read the stars and see his fate but he couldn't. All he saw was a vast blackness that held more life than anyone had ever thought possible.

* * *

Author's Note:

Felt like posting more so here it is. Enjoy. Reviews, likes, shares are much appreciated. Thank you.

Playlist:

No Consequence - Versa Emerge

Someone New - Hozier

The Kids Aren't Alright - Fall Out Boy


	5. It's All Alright

Show Me That You're Human

Chapter 5: It's All Alright

* * *

"You know, love, any other agent would have been fired on the spot. Possibly been lobotomised. Brainwashing and memory wipe _is_ possible you know." Arthur looked at Rory over the top of his beer bottle, smiling slightly.

"Oh Artie, it is not." She rolled her eyes.

After visiting Steve in Brooklyn, she'd called Arthur to tell him not to worry about picking her up and she'd met he and Jasper at the restaurant on the upper west side a little after 7. It was their favourite spot and the three had been happy that it hadn't been destroyed in the invasion.

She'd spent the majority of the meal catching her two friends up on everything that had happened in the last 12 hours.

"Besides, any other agent doesn't have a legacy like mine to, _thankfully_ , fall back on." Rory replied, smirking and pushing her plate to the side. "I couldn't believe Fury though, " _he is a weapon"_ Grandma would be horrified." She rolled her eyes, curling her lips up in disgust.

"Well he _is_ technically a weapon."

"Jasper!" Rory gasped, turning to glare at the quietest of the three.

"Well it's true." The agent pushed his glasses up his nose and shrugged lightly. "It's what he was designed to be."

"Not the point, Jas!" Rory shook her head, picking up her wine glass again. "There's still a person under there, with thoughts and feelings and… He's a person despite the serum."

"Settle down, love. You're getting awfully defensive there." Arthur laughed, placing his hand on her shoulder and squeezing. Rory wrinkled her nose but didn't shrug him off.

"No one else seems to be." Rory shrugged, taking a sip of the red. "Pa and Grandma would be horrified if they'd heard what Nick had said, saw how they'd kept stuff from him, lied to him." She scowled again, cradling the glass to her chest. "So would your grandfather!"

"Well it _is_ SHIELD. They lie and keep things from everyone." Arthur squeezed her shoulder again before dropping his hand down to her knee. She glanced at it before taking another drink. "You, me… Jasper. Hell, they probably kept things from your grandparents when they could."

"Not the point." Rory muttered, scowling at the table knowing it was true.

"What did you tell Steve, anyway?" Jasper asked. "That's where you came from isn't it? Seeing him?"

"Yeah, Barton told me where I could find him…" Rory nodded. "I told him about Pa and Grandma, about how she lived and how they ended up together. Things he wanted to know."

"Fury is going to kill you." Arthur laughed. "Did you tell him about me?"

"No? Why would I say anything about you?"

"Because my grandfather and Captain America were very good friends, darling, therefore I'm important."

"You are _not_ important. I mentioned your grandfather but nothing specific. We'll cover that next time." Rory said flippantly, grinning at Arthurs offended look.

As Arthur opened his mouth to argue back, Jasper spoke defusing the bickering agents before they could really start. "Next time?" He inquired.

Rory nodded, signalling the waitress for the bill for their table. "I told him to come find me whenever. The guy has no one. I just want to show him not everyone at SHIELD is a complete asshat."

"Well he won't find that with you." Arthur quipped, throwing some money on the table in front of them. Rory pretended to be shocked an offended as she pulled out her purse.

"He wouldn't find it with you, either."

"That hurts, love."

"Ha!" She let out a huff as she stood, slinging her jacket over her shoulders. Arthur laughed and placed his arm around her waist. He chuckled, pausing to wait for Jasper to finish paying and stand, then he tugged on Rory's shoulders, heading for the door.

"It's a nice night tonight." Jasper commented as they congregated on the sidewalk outside the restaurant.

"Without half the lights in New York shining you can almost see the stars." Arthur nodded, looking up. Rory joined him, leaning against his side.

"If you squint maybe." She snorted, nudging him.

Arthur nudged her back, squeezing her hard enough to elicit another squeal. "C'mon darling, drinks back at your new place. I want to see the inside of Stark Tower for myself."

"Oh just invite yourself over why don't you." Rory rolled her eyes. She glanced at Jasper. "You coming Jas?"

"Maybe next time. I have to get home, feed Henry." He smiled at the mention of his cat. Rory stepped forward to hug him and said goodnight. They watched as Jasper walked to his car and pulled out before starting in the direction of Rory's.

"Are you going to tell your Pa and Grandma that you finally met him?" Arthur asked as he rearranged his arm around Rory's shoulders, pulling her into him again.

"I'll give them a call tomorrow." Rory nodded a yes. "They'll be happy."

"You should let him talk to them too. I know my grandfather would love to hear from Captain Rogers." Arthur smiled, swinging the keys to her car around his finger, teasing her.

Rory's eyes widened and she patted her pockets, realising she'd been robbed. "You little –"

"Spy, love." He laughed as she lunged for them, pulling him into a wristlock to retrieve them.

"My car." She frowned, stepped around the side door of her beast. The restored 1965 Dodge Charger had been a gift from her brothers when she'd gotten her licence at age 17. It was her pride and joy and she never let anyone else drive the beast. Arthur tried but failed knowing the penalty for breaking the rule was most likely death.

"How is Uncle Monty?" Rory asked as she settled herself into her seat.

"Not well," Arthur sighed, slamming the door behind him. "I may have to head back to England in a few months and take my rightful place as Lord Arthur Montgomery Falsworth."

"You'd leave me?" Rory mocked a gasp and revved the engine.

"There's always a need for a Lady Falsworth on the estate." He turned his head to look at her. A smile touched her lips as she eased the car onto the street.

"We'd drive each other crazy." She shook her head.

"It'd be a good kind of crazy, I feel."

Rory snorted. "There's a good kind? Arthur, as it is we argue and bicker and you drive me crazy anyway."

"Ah well love, something to think about isn't it?" He smirked, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair. He peered out of the window, inspecting a fallen building as they passed it.

"Besides, I think Pa would kill me if I moved permanently to another country. Not to mention Grant, Tim and Maggie." Rory added. "They already hate that I live in New York."

"I was kidding, love. You're not refined enough to be called a 'Lady'." He said. Rory reached over and punched his bicep and he laughed. "I mean that in the nicest possible way." He caught her hand as she wound for another punch and linked their fingers. She shook her head, concentrating on the road in front of them.

Arthur let out a whistle a few minutes later when they reached the elevator inside the Stark Tower underground parking lot. "This feels like a high end hotel."

"Well it does have two pools, a library, more science labs than I can count and a grand ball room… So it's a little better I guess." Rory smiled as the doors pinged open on her floor. She reached for her key, looking up as the door to room across from hers opened.

"Hey Steve." She greeted the super soldier.

"Aurora." Steve smiled at her, closing his door behind him. His eyes flickered to Arthur and he frowned slightly.

"This is Sir Arthur Falsworth. I believe you knew his grandfather." She followed his gaze and grabbed Arthurs' hand to tug him over to Steve.

"Monty?"

"Yes Sir." Arthur nodded, squaring his shoulders and saluting Steve like Rory had done. "I've been told a lot about you, Sir."

"At ease, soldier." Steve raised a hand, a look of embarrassment on his face. Arthur dropped the formalities and grinned, extending his hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Captain Rogers."

Steve took it and shook it hard before nodding. "And you. How is old Monty these days?"

"Ill sir, but he'll be thrilled I got to meet you. He spoke very highly of you throughout my life." Arthur added with a smile. He slung his arm around Rory's waist, pulling her close.

"I'm sorry to hear he's ill." Steve's expression was sombre and he ducked his head. "Please send him my regards."

"He'd be thrilled to hear from you, maybe you could tell him yourself?" Arthur suggested and Rory grinned.

"Maybe if I can get clearance I might be able to visit him…" He sighed, looking wistful. "Anyway, I'm going to see what's on the television set." Steve looked at Rory. "Have a good night, Aurora."

"Goodnight, Steve." Rory raised a hand and waved, watching him walk out of sight.

"He's everything Grandfather said he'd be and more." Arthur said as Rory walked to her door.

"Isn't he just?" Rory smiled, sighing. "From the hair and eyes to the physique… oh god _that_ _physique_." She moaned softly, pushing the door open.

"Settle down love, you'll make a man jealous." Arthur poked her side, chuckling. Rory shook her head.

"You? Jealous? I don't think you have the capacity." She clicked on the lights and let Arthur get a good look at the living room of her suite. He whistled in appreciation.

"Any man can be jealous for the right girl and you, love, are that girl." Arthur winked lecherously and Rory rolled her eyes.

"Oh shut up." Rory shook her head, completely used to Arthur's ways.

A lot of people thought there was something more to the casual flirting between Arthur and Aurora but it was just how they worked. She loved him like a brother, flirted with him like nothing else but at the end of the day she wouldn't change what she had with him and knew he wouldn't either. He was her rock, her best friend, someone for comfort if and when she ever needed it – but there was nothing more to it. She both loved him and didn't simultaneously and was perfectly okay with it.

"I think I saw some bourbon on top of the refrigerator in here that's just waiting to be drunk. I have a feeling it's Tony's." She turned on her heel to search the small kitchen area.

"The best kind of liquor is stolen liquor, love. As long as you don't mind me bunking with you tonight, let's crack it open." Arthur commented, making Rory laugh and reach for the bottle.

* * *

Drinking with Arthur was usually a mistake but this time had been really out of the park. She'd spent the majority of the day with her head in the toilet and the minority of it sleeping.

Thankfully by 6 she was feeling better and by 7 she was almost ready for her dinner with Steve.

She was just applying a layer of mascara when she heard a knock at her door. She swore under her breath but yelled "OPEN!" anyway.

She was running late and it was just her luck that Steve was on time. Apparently he really was the perfect man.

"Rory?" Steve's confused voice sounded through her apartment.

"Yeah, sorry, I'm almost ready." She called back from behind her partially opened bedroom door. "Arthur and I had a big night last night…" She said hurriedly as she brushed hair off her face and pulled the light blue blouse she'd picked closed across her front. "I may have been a little hungover today."

"How are you feeling now?" Steve called back, concern evident in his tone.

She gave another once over in the mirror, mentally reminding herself that this wasn't a date but she still looked damn good, before she opened the door that led the living area of her apartment "Much, _much_ better." She answered with a smile, taking in Steve as he stood awkwardly in front of her sofa.

He was dressed neatly in a collared navy shirt and tan slacks. A brown leather jacket was folded over his arm and he smoothed his hair as he turned to face her.

"Well that's great. You look lovely." Steve's warm smile was genuine and happy as he complimented her. She couldn't help but return it.

"Thank you. After a sleep and a shower I'm feeling much more human." She turned back into her room and grabbed her own dark leather jacket off the end of her bed. She slid her feet into black and while polka dot flats and slung a bag over her shoulder. "What did you feel like eating? I'm starved." Rory spoke as she flitted around, picking up her keys, phone and wallet to drop into her purse.

"Uh I'm not sure. Italian maybe?"

"Mm pasta. I know just the place. It's a bit of a walk so we might drive, if that's ok?" She turned to look at him and he nodded.

"We can take my bike if you want?"

Rory's eyes widened. "Yes! I've always wanted to learn to ride I just never got a chance. Pa wouldn't let me." She shook her head with a laugh and pulled open the front door. Steve followed her out and pulled it shut behind him.

"Dugan? Really? But he used to ride as well." Steve laughed, throwing Rory an amused look.

"Oh I know. He just thinks they're too dangerous for his precious baby girl." She rolled her eyes.

"Probably didn't want you hurt. Bikes can be pretty dangerous." Steve mused, reaching for the elevator button. It dinged and he ushered Rory inside first.

"My job is pretty dangerous. Bikes are nothing." She shook her head, sliding her arms into her jacket. She brushed hair off her neck and sighed. "So typical of him. I work for a secret spy agency and he still thinks I'm a helpless little girl."

"He's your grandfather, he'll always see you like that." Steve replied, wanting to ask more about her grandparents while trying not to seem desperate.

"Sadly you're right. Can't catch a break with the people who love you, huh?" Rory laughed. The elevator dinged open again and they stepped out into the underground car park beneath Stark Tower.

Steve slowed as he looked around. He caught Rory's questioning look a moment later and he let out a breath.

"I'm looking for the agent tailing me." He explained and Rory looked puzzled. "After what you said yesterday, I've noticed that I always have someone following me around. There was someone this morning in a black sedan when I went for a run, I just never saw him leave the building."

"They wait on the street, but I told Fury to take it off you." Rory waved a hand in response. "It's not fair to you to have your every move jotted down in some SHIELD file. " She shook her head, a scowl crossing her brows.

"You talked to Fury about me?" Steve questioned.

"This morning. Had to talk to him about my 'demotion'," She quoted with an exaggerated eye roll. "figure out how to reapply, that kind of thing."

"Will you get into trouble for us going to dinner?" He asked, his own brow furrowing slightly. The last thing he wanted was for her to get into trouble again, even though last time hadn't been their fault.

"I'm not getting into trouble for this now. I promise." She smiled. "They can't fire me. I know too much, I told you this yesterday." She waved a hand before turning away from him in search of his bike. "They'd have to practically make me a full amnesiac and they're too scared of Grandma to do it."

"Ah yes, the alternative being they kill you," Steve said dryly as he nodded. He was satisfied for now that he wasn't going to be responsible for the loss of her job.

He led her to the bike and handed her a spare helmet. Rory admired it for a second. The Harley Davidson emblem stood out against the black finish and she traced her finger over it. "Very nice." She murmured, taking the helmet.

"I bought it not long after a woke up. Discovered I had all this money and they wouldn't give me back my old one." He looked at the bike between his legs and sighed. "They're apparently using it for an exhibit at the Smithsonian?"

"Oooh yeah, in Washington D.C." Rory nodded, fiddling with the straps on the helmet. "Grandma and Pa went to the opening. It's huge. It has all facts about who you were and what you did during the war."

"It's big?"

"Huge." She nodded. "I'm talking, like… there're two, 15 foot banners with your face on them, hanging from the ceiling."

Steve groaned. He hated that people knew who he was and knew his face. He would have been very happy to be anonymous behind the helmet but there was just too much footage of him with the commando's for that to be possible. The internet, for how helpful it was, was awful if you wanted to stay hidden.

"How do I look?" Rory pulled Steve from his thoughts. She'd pulled the helmet down over her hair and ears and was striking a pose beside him.

"Very nice. Beautiful." Steve replied with a light chuckle "You'll have to direct me." He called over his shoulder and he held out a hand to help her on the bike.

"I'll just point but basically head out onto this street, take the first left and it's straight up town toward Upper West Side." She explained, taking his big hand in her small one and swinging onto the bike. The seat was curved enough that when she sat she slid forward until she was flush against him.

Rory felt his back stiffen ever so slightly but when she settled her hands either side of his torso he relaxed. She held herself upright, conscious of his personal space and they took off.

Being on the bike was exhilarating and Rory vowed then and there that she would learn to ride one, her Pa be damned. They were the coolest way to travel and so much easier than a car, especially in New York.

It wasn't long before she was pointing out the restaurant and Steve was pulling the bike to the curb to park.

"How was that?" Steve asked as she swung her leg off the bike and tugged the helmet off her head.

"That was wicked _awesome_!" She exclaimed with a laugh, running her hands through her curls to fluff them up again. "I need a bike."

"Ah talk to Dugan first. I don't want to get into trouble for that one too." Steve laughed, placing the helmets on the handlebars. "Your Pa might scare me a little more than Fury."

"Ah Pa's a pushover, totally pussy cat. It's Grandma you have to watch out for." She grinned.

"Oh, I remember well. You know she once shot at me?" Steve sounded scandalised.

"Yeah but weren't you kissing a blonde in the bunker?" Rory teased him back. His cheeks flushed red.

"Gee, she really told you everything, huh?" He rubbed the back of his head, smiling guiltily.

"Yup, she did. C'mon, let's eat. I haven't eaten all day." She tilted her head toward the door and they went inside.

The table was small, quiet and to the back. Rory figured the waitress thought they were on a date but she didn't mind the seclusion. Big, attractive guys like Steve enticed attention and she could see, just by the tight look on his face at how the waitress was oogling him that it made him uncomfortable.

"Anything to drink?" She asked. "Wine? Beer?"

Rory let out a groan and shook her head. "Water for me please." The thought of alcohol made her stomach turn. Steve grinned at the look on her face.

"And for you, sir?" The waitresses voice turned sickly sweet and Rory almost did gag.

"I'm good with just water, thanks." Steve nodded, looking down at the menu. The waitress hesitated before nodding.

"I'll bring a bottle for the table." She ran over the specials quickly, her eyes never leaving Steve before she turned and walked away.

Rory watched her walk and then grinned at Steve.

"She was totally into you."

Steve looked up sharply before glancing over to where the waitress was talking to another girl behind the bar. "Was she?" He made a small 'huh' noise before turning away.

Rory smirked slightly but didn't press it. "So what looks good?" She asked, opening the menu.

Steve's eyes gazed down at the words. This was the first restaurant he'd been into in 70 years and he didn't know where to start. He almost choked at the prices.

"Seriously?" He groaned, thinking about the small amount of cash in his wallet. Agent Coulson had been kind enough to set him up with a plastic card that was supposed to be filled with all his money but he'd left it on the table in his apartment. It wasn't something he was used to carrying around. He wondered how he would pay for both their meals now. Not that he thought this was a date, but it was still the polite thing to do.

"What's wrong?" Rory looked up, her eyebrow raised. He hadn't said anything in a long time and when she'd glanced up, he'd looked like he was in pain as he studied the menu.

"I… wasn't expecting inflation to be so cruel." He muttered, shaking his head. Rory's brow furrowed and then she looked surprised.

"Oh! You haven't eaten out since you woke up, have you?"

Steve shook his head. "Haven't had anyone to go with, ma'am and I don't much feel like eating on my own. I've either just eaten at SHIELD HQ or at the Tower." He shrugged a shoulder, placing the menu on the table. "I don't know what half this stuff _is_."

"Well… what do you feel like eating then?" Rory smiled and flattened her menu on the table. "I've been here a few times and can tell you that the risotto is fantastic if you like fish. Or there's the lasagne if you want something traditional…" Steve watched as her eyes scanned the menu for something else.

"Sounds good." He nodded. "What are you going to have?"

"The burger." She pointed to the menu. "With chips… and onion rings." She grinned at him.

Steve grinned. The dames in the chorus line, or any girl Bucky had ever set him up with, would never have picked something like that to eat.

"So where's Arthur tonight?" Steve asked, closing the menu.

"I don't know? At his apartment watching soccer maybe." She shrugged, crossing her arms over in front of her on the table. "He probably roped Jasper into keeping him company."

"Oh? So you don't live together?" Steve's brow furrowed. Rory shook her head.

"God no. We'd kill each other. We're bad enough on assignment." She laughed, smiling fondly. Steve nodded along as he tried to understand their relationship. "Poor Jasper puts up with so much from us in close quarters. I'm pretty sure he'd sabotage us if we tried to live together."

"I guess there's always time for that." He mused. Steve pulled his menu out of the way as the waitress came back with the glass bottle of water and two glasses. "How long have you been together?" he asked as the waitress first filled Rory's glass and then his.

Rory choked on the water she'd just taken a sip of and reached for the napkin to wipe her face.

"I'm sorry?"

"How long have you an Arthur been together." Steve repeated, smiling. He paused a second to give the waitress their orders, before turning back to her. "I expect Dugan and Falsworth are happy?"

"No." Rory shook her head before bursting into giggles. "Oh _god_ , no!"

"They're not happy?" Steve's brow furrowed.

"No! They're not happy because Arthur and I aren't together!" She said between gasps for air. "Arthur's my partner in SHIELD, that's it." She said after a few seconds, shaking her head.

"Oh, I'm so sorry." Steve's face flushed with embarrassment. "I just assumed because… well… you seemed close and…"

"And he was there last night and it was late?" Rory offered with a shrug. "Yeah, he's hard to get rid of. Let him snooze on your bed for one drunken night and he never leaves." She laughed again, shaking her head lightly.

Steve's face felt hot with his mistake. "I'm so sorry."

"Steve, it's ok. I get it," Rory assured him, the smile still on her lips. "I'm sure a lot of people assume and hell, Artie doesn't exactly do his best to sway the opinion in the opposite direction." She rolled her eyes, chuckling.

"He's sweet on you?" Steve asked, his brow furrowing as he tried to understand..

"Yes and no. Arthur's problem is that he flirts with everything that moves. Not exactly boyfriend material if I'm perfectly honest. I love him as a friend, nothing more." She explained, lifting her shoulder in a shrug. "Anyway, I'm sure you don't want to hear about Artie and mine's completely complicated relationship." She waved a hand, smiling lightly. She reached he hand toward the candle in front of them and started brushing her fingertips across the flame.

"I don't mind hearing about anything." Steve shook his head. "It's better than hearing about Tony's latest invention or another test result." His voice was bitter and Rory studied him for a moment. He looked sad and frustrated and utterly alone. It couldn't have been easy, waking up a new world and hearing about things you knew nothing about.; learning that everyone you ever loved was most likely dead and gone. She knew he was adjusting quickly – even more so now with his team of Avengers living close to him – but he was still just a man out of time.

"Ouch!" Rory exclaimed, jerking her hand away from the candle. She laughed, rubbing her fingertips. "I stopped paying attention."

Steve's lips turned up in amusement and he reached to move the candle away from her. "Firebug. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She nodded. "That's what Grandma Peg calls me." Rory smirked. "I like fire. It's pretty."

"It's not so pretty when it's all around you and you have one place to go and that's over the flames." Steve shook his head, his face drawing in tight.

"Is that the time you rescued Pa and the others from the factory?" Rory's eyes lit up at the prospect of a story.

"Yes ma'am. I had to save Bucky, you see. He was somewhere else in the factory. Then everything went up in smoke and I had to jump across a huge gap and below there was fire and explosions…" He ducked his head in bashfulness. "Safe to say I made it out alive."

"You saved Pa's life that day."

"I did."

"And Uncle Mori's… and Uncle Gabe's." She mentioned Morita and Jones and Steve nodded.

"Yep."

"Hero." She said playfully. Steve's cheeks flushed again.

"Just doing what I was created to do."

Rory shook her head, and picked up her water glass. "Grandma Peg said that you were a hero before you had the serum. That's why you were chosen."

"I was a good person. I wasn't a hero though. Hero's don't spend their time getting their asses – sorry… their behinds kicked by bullies in back alleys." Steve let out a snort of derision and looked at his hands.

"Were they your bullies?"

"No, not usually. But someone had to stand up to them."

"So that makes you a hero."

Steve looked up and met Rory's eyes in the dim lighting. They were shining happily, like she'd just won something between them. His lips twitched. She looked like Peggy did when she won against Colonel Philips or Howard.

"You look like Peggy." He smiled, picking up his glass of water.

"Really?" Rory sounded surprised. "Most people say I remind them more of Pa."

"Oh you do that too, but I can see Peg in your eyes." He nodded and cleared his throat. "How did they end up together?" He asked softly, bracing himself for the story.

Rory rested her elbows on the table and played with the ring on her thumb. "Pa was always there for Grandma. During her time as Director of SHIELD with Howard, Pa was there looking out for them both, helping them on missions… it was a long time for them but it happened eventually."

"I'm surprised it wasn't Howard." Steve raised his eyebrows.

"Howard was too much like Artie. Couldn't keep his hands to himself to save his life and Grandma wasn't willing to deal with it." Rory shrugged. She played with a stray curl that had come untucked from behind her ear. "She loved you though, never gave up on trying to find you. She named SHIELD after you, you know."

Steve's eyebrows rose in surprise. "What?"

"Specifically your shield." Rory nodded. "Howard thought it was fitting."

"Wow." Steve breathed out. "Why does she live in England? Are Dugan and Peggy not married anymore?"

Rory's brow furrowed. "Grandma doesn't live in England." She dipped her head to the side. "She lives in West Roxbury, Boston…"

Steve's eyes widened. "Her file said…"

Rory's gaze turned steely. "Then they lied. Grandma hasn't lived in the UK for a very long time." She shook her head. "She lives in the same house I lived in when I was a kid. They've never moved."

"It doesn't surprise me that SHIELD lied." Steve said, a hint of bitterness in his tone. Rory's gaze turned sympathetic. "They seem to do that a lot."

"Probably so you wouldn't go running off to visit her." She reasoned. "Might make you 'emotionally unstable'." She quoted with her fingertips, giving him another eye roll.

"Oh yes. Emotional instability. Right I forgot I had that." Steve added sarcastically, shaking his head. "So you're from Boston?"

"Born and raised." She nodded. "My father was Pa and Grandma's only son. He married my mother quite young and they had 4 kids. I'm the youngest."

"Big family." Steve whistled, realising that Peggy gotten her big family after all. "I never had siblings. Always wanted them though."

"You can have mine if you like. All they do is strive to irritate me." Rory laughed with a quick shake of her head. She loved them really, deep down. She'd be lost without them.

"Tell me about them?" Steve asked. Rory looked at him a moment understanding he wanted to hear about Peggy's family. She leant forward onto her elbows as she started talking about them.

"Well, Grant is the eldest. He's 32 and a sniper with the military. He has a lovely wife, Alison and two kids; Tucker and Hannah. " Rory smiled thinking of her young niece and nephews.

"A sniper is pretty impressive." Steve whistled. "I bet Dugan was happy about that. That was his speciality."

"Pa was thrilled." Rory nodded before continuing. "Then there's Tim, he's 30 and a senior NCO with the military. Also married, to a woman named Johanna and they have two kids, Cody and Joshua with another on the way. Tim's in the Middle East at the moment working with the bomb squad, disarming IEDs in Afghanistan."

"IED?" Steve frowned. He wasn't familiar with that terminology, like a lot of modern language he'd come across.

"Improvised Explosive Device. The other side rig up complicated bombs in cars or on the road side so that when our guys drive over it or get too close they explode and it kills them." Rory explained, her face dropping. She worried so much about her brother being over there and even though she knew he was good at his job, there was always that small chance something would go wrong.

"So landmines?"

"Similar but much more complicated and fancy. He's the constant worry. Grant is in the thick of it sometimes too but he's long range, now. He's not getting up close with the action anymore." She explained, trying not to get too emotional thinking about her brother in a dangerous situation.

"That's where I always was. Up close and in the thick of it." Steve sighed, flashes of German trenches going through his mind. "I hate to admit it, but it's the best place to be."

"You were genetically engineered to withstand pretty much everything. My brother _kind_ _of_ isn't." Rory shook her head, smirking lightly.

"No, he's not." Steve said quietly, shaking his head. He leaned back as the waitress placed a plate of food in front of him. The portion was huge and Steve grinned. "This looks amazing."

"I can guarantee it tastes even better, hon." The waitress beamed, giving Steve a wink. "Anything else I can gettchya?" She kept her eyes fixed on him as she dropped Rory's plate in front of her. Rory rolled her eyes. Waitresses could be so rude when a hot guy was on the other side of the table. It happened a lot with Arthur but unlike Arthur, Steve wasn't encouraging it.

"No thank you ma'am." Steve shook his head, reaching for the salt.

"Oh, so polite. Call me Mandy, hon. Give me a shout if you need anything." She winked again and walked away, leaving Steve to look apologetic.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why it happens."

"Because you're attractive. You're like a woman's weakness." Rory laughed as Steve's face flushed red. "She probably recognises you as well." She reminded him. "You're kind of hot property right now, Cap." She grinned.

Steve covered his face with his hand and glanced around. "I don't know _why_." He gave another waitress a wary look as she passed and Rory laughed. He glanced at her, amusement evident on his face.

"Because you're tall, gorgeous and here to save the day." She winked. His cheeks flushed right up to his ears and she couldn't help but laugh lightly. He was too easy to tease.

"Tell me about your sister." He prompted for her to continue. Rory singing his praises made him slightly embarrassed. He wasn't used to it, still, even after all this time. His cheeks were flaming red, he knew.

"Right, yes. Maggie is 28, lives in D.C. with her fiancé, Jay, and works as a criminal defence attorney for a big firm. She's set to make partner in a year." Rory said with a grin, obviously proud of her sister's achievements. "She's supposed to be getting married at the end of the year actually. God knows why she wants a November wedding but it's her choice." Rory rolled her eyes but smiled good-naturedly. It was obvious to Steve that she loved her sister.

"That's the Dugan family." She held her hands out, smiling warmly. "We're not much but they're my world."

"and what about you?" Steve prompted as Rory took a bite of her burger.

"Me?" She said around her mouthful. She swallowed, wiping her mouth to stall her reply. Talking about herself had never been her favourite thing to do.

"Well, I'm 26, a level 7 agent for SHIELD that mostly works in the field but is currently demoted to desk work. I'm single, used to live in an apartment just past Central Park before it was destroyed and I miss my dog who lives with Pa and Grandma because I was sent away." She rattled off random facts before she laughed. "I'm not overly interesting, I'm afraid."

"I think you're interesting." Steve said, wiping his mouth on his napkin. "What kind of dog?"

"He's a golden retriever named Biscuit." She smiled. Steve laughed.

"Biscuit?"

"He's the colour of a toasted biscuit." She shrugged. "I could probably get him back for a little while now I'm on desk work. Regular hours will actually be nice for once. I just have to convince Tony to let me have a dog in the tower."

"You'll miss the field work."

"I know. I'll find a way to convince Nick to put me back in the field soon enough." Rory nodded. They ate in silence for a few minutes before Steve spoke again.

"How did your parents die? If you don't mind me asking?" He added, realising that asking straight out might have been insensitive.

"Car accident." She replied, lifting her water to her lips to take a sip. "A drunk driver swerved and totalled the car they were in. I was with them, but I was strapped into a seat and survived." A chill went up Rory's spine and she wrinkled her nose. "I remember flashes. Sometimes I have nightmares that I think are related, but when I wake up they're gone. I'm just left with a cold, scared feeling right here," She patted her chest and shook her head to clear the thought. She took another sip of water before she spoke again. "Grandma and Pa have been everything to me since I was so young. I don't really remember my parents."

"I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds like Peggy and Dugan were good to you." He swallowed a lump forming in his chest. . He couldn't help but feel bitter that Dugan had gotten the life he'd wanted. Everyone Steve had known had moved on or they were dead. He had no family, barely any friends.… He was alone.

"Grandma was thrilled when she found out you were alive, I'm surprised she didn't march over here to meet you herself but I guess Fury's word is still law." Rory rolled her eyes.

Steve couldn't help but smile. The woman would be going on 94 but still he could imagine her marching into Fury's office and demanding he let her see Steve. It hit Steve then that Peggy would be an old woman now and the image of her in his mind changed to one of a frail old woman with white hair and a walking frame. He wanted to cry.

There was no chance for them to have a life now. He was still 26, young and virile. She was married, happily by the sounds of it, with a loving family. He'd missed his chance and he had to live with it.

"Steve?" Rory reached across the table and touched his hand. He jumped, looking up and blinking the stinging away.

"Yes?"

"You look sad, what're you thinking about?"

He shook his head. He couldn't tell Rory that he'd been hoping since he'd woken up that he'd see Peggy again and the two would pick up where they left off. It was her family, her very close and happy family. He couldn't tear them apart.

"Nothing." He said. "It's just all… becoming real that Peggy moved on. No offence meant to you, I just…" He shrugged helplessly. "I wish it could be different."

Rory's hand slipped over his and into his palm, squeezing lightly.

"I know she loved you. She used to tell me stories about you; about the small moments you had in the military camps… your last kiss." Steve face flushed at that and she smiled. "She loved you."

"But I missed out. She moved on."

"So maybe it's fate?" Rory suggested, resting on her elbows again. "Maybe it's fate that you two couldn't be together. Maybe you two wouldn't have lasted after the war and you would have gone your separate ways? You can't dwell on the past, Steve. It'll rip you apart."

Steve looked from her worried eyes down to her hand resting in his. How was it that she could say something in 10 seconds that helped him more than his psychiatrist had in 3 weeks of solid sessions?

"You're as wise as your grandmother, you know that?" His voice was gruff and he swallowed the lump in his throat that had crept up again. He'd be damned if he cried in front of her. Men didn't cry.

"I wouldn't say that." She laughed, shaking her head. "But there are too many variables to know for sure how life would have panned out. Grandma was happy, you deserve to be too."

Steve gave her hand a squeeze and sucked in a deep breath. "Thanks." He muttered.

"For what?"

"Treating me like a human."

Rory smiled before sliding her hand out of his and settling back in her chair. "You are one so it's not exactly hard."

"SHIELD seems to forget that."

"SHIELD forgets that about a lot of their staff." Rory shook her head. "It'll get better. I promise."

Steve met her gaze and for the first time since he had woken he believed in something. Her. What she was saying. That it would get better just like she promised.

Steve finished his dinner while he listened to Rory talk about growing up with her siblings and Tony Stark. She talked about herself, her likes, her dislikes and in return he gave a bit of himself away to her.

She told him about how she'd danced when she was younger and had wanted to be a ballerina and in return he told her about his love of art and how he'd been to art school before the war.

She told him about the time she fell out of a tree and broke her wrist and didn't tell anyone for two days because she was embarrassed and in return he told her about every illness he had when he was younger.

They talked, something Steve hadn't done properly with another person in a very long time and for the first time since he woke he didn't _feel_ like an anomaly. She had him in stitches as she regaled the time that Tony and Grant were forced to run buck-ass nude through Boston because Maggie and Rory had run away with their clothes.

"Why were they naked in the first place?" Steve asked, sucking in a deep breath.

"Because they lost a bet. Maggie bet Tony that if the Red Sox beat the Angels he had to streak down the main streak."

"How'd Grant get roped into it?"

"Because he's stupid." She laughed, shaking her head. "Tony had sway over Grant that no one else had. They were always getting into trouble. Similar in age, I guess Grant helped Tony forget about life at home."

"It surprises me about Howard." Steve shook his head, crossing his arms across the table. "I never took him for a drunk."

"Howard worked hard trying to find you and when he didn't succeed he felt like he'd failed." Rory shrugged sombrely. "Maria had it tough trying to juggle both of them, and then when Howard got the contract with the military to produce their weapons he really had no time for either of them. Tony lived with us more than he did his family."

"It explains a lot about Tony." Steve muttered, feeling slightly guilty at judging him so harshly.

"Don't take what Tony says to heart. He's as loyal as anything, he just struggles to show it." She smiled as if encouraging Steve to stay friends with him.

"Well he had my back out there in New York, that's all I'm worried about." Steve stretched and cracked his neck. "Shall we head back to the tower? We've been here forever." He glanced around at the now almost empty restaurant. He really didn't want to go but they looked like they were shutting up for the night. Rory looked at her watch and blinked.

"Oh wow. I didn't even realise how late it was." She reached down for her bag and produced her purse. She pulled out a plastic card and placed it with the bill.

"No wait, what are you doing?" Steve asked, frowning as he opened his own wallet.

"Paying for dinner?" Rory raised an eyebrow. Steve pulled out a few bills and held them out for her. She shook her head. "It's ok. I got it." She smiled, ignoring the money.

"At least let me pay for some?" Steve insisted, placing the bills on the table.

"No, honestly." She shook her head.

"A dame shouldn't pay for her food. It's rude of me to let you." Steve continued to insist and Rory threw her hands up in exasperation. "Besides. Me makin' you pay is a pretty lousy date. Not that it's a date, but it's not polite of me."

"It's really not anymore Steve, I promise. I know it's not a date. So it's my treat. You can get the next one, ok?" She beckoned the waitress over and handed her the check and the card.

Steve frowned as he watched the waitress swipe the card. "Aurora…"

" _Steven_." She returned the tone playfully and he couldn't help but smile.

"Next one is on me, ok?" He relented with a sigh.

"Deal. Don't you have a bank card?" She noticed his wallet stuffed with notes and nothing more as she took her own card back from the waitress.

"SHIELD got me one but I didn't really understand it, so it's on the counter back at the apartment." He admitted sheepishly, standing and offering his hand to her.

"Well it's pretty simple to use, I'll explain it to you sometime if you'd like?" Rory took the hand and stood.

"That'd be great, thanks."

He agreed and he grabbed Rory's jacket off the back of her chair for her and held it out while she pushed her arms into the sleeves. The two walked outside to his bike and he handed her the helmet. Steve revved the bike and Rory swung on and in a matter of minutes they were pulling into the carpark of Stark Tower.

"Thanks for dinner. I appreciate it."

"You wanted to hang out with me, remember." Rory replied. "Anytime ok?" She smiled. The elevators dinged as they reached their floor and they walked down the hall together.

Rory waved to him as she stepped toward her door and he stepped toward his and she swiped her card.

"Steve?" She said as she pushed her door open. She turned to look at him, finding him standing with his own door open behind him. "I mean it. Anytime. My door is always open if you want to talk or know something or just want some company."

Something akin to gratitude and relief crossed over Steve's face as he nodded and looked at the swipe card in his hand.

"Thanks. I really, _really_ appreciate it." He nodded, glancing back at her to smile and wave.

She grinned and turned, her curls fanning out behind her slightly and he watched the door shut behind her.

Whatever he'd done recently he was thankful that something was going his way because he could tell that that girl wouldn't stop until he was happy.

* * *

Author's Note:

Thanks for all your feedback. I'm glad you all seem to be enjoying it.

Playlist:

Brilliant and Charming - Benjamin Del Shreve

All Right - Fun

You Will Leave a Mark - Silent Film


	6. There's the Great Unknown

Show Me That You're Human

Chapter 6: There's the Great Unknown

* * *

"It was just dinner, Pa." Rory laughed at her grandfather as she leant back in her desk chair. Three days had passed and she was finally getting around to calling her grandparents to fill them in on all that had happened in regards to Steve, the invasion and her new demotion. The feelings were mixed to say the least and she hadn't even gotten to the demotion part yet.

"Sounds like it was a date to me. Never thought I'd have to talk to nice Steve Rogers about getting fresh with my little girl." Dugan's gruff Bostonian accent came down the line and Rory laughed again.

"Oh, Timothy." Peggy Carter's softer tones also sounded through the second receiver in the Dugan household. "Could you imagine our Steve Rogers getting 'fresh' with anyone?"

"You, my dearest, didn't hear how he talked when it was just the boys in the trenches discussing the chorus girls. I know that boy, Peg. He was the devil with blue eyes." Although his voice sounded serious, Rory could tell he was joking by the laugh elicited from Peggy.

"He was not, Pa! Good lord. He blushes red just talking to me, I swear you could cook an egg on his cheeks." She shook her head at her Pa's antics. "He's still getting on his feet with this whole '70 years in the future' thing, I don't think he's interested in getting 'fresh' with anyone."

"How is he coping, my darling?" Peggy asked before Dugan could say any more on the subject.

"He's…" Rory let out a sigh and proper her elbows on the desk. "He's good but he seems so lost still, so lonely. He's angry as well."

"His life was taken away from him, I expect I'd be angry too." Peggy replied thoughtfully. "I am sometimes, to be honest." She added as a soft afterthought.

"He'd be angry about SHIELD lying to him, too." Dugan interjected and Rory wondered if it was hard for Pa to know his beloved wife had loved another before him.

"Furious. He dinted Fury's desk with just his fingers." Rory outlined a hand with her fingertip on the top of her desk. "He just wanted some connection to his old life and they sent me away. All he got was some files containing basic information, half of which I'm betting were false or redacted."

"But you're back now, you can make up for it. How'd Nick take you defying those orders?"

Rory let out a heavy sigh, her stomach turning over as she thought about how to explain her demotion.

"Oh didn't I mention I'm calling you from my nice and cosy cubicle on the level three of Stark Tower?" Rory rolled her eyes, glancing around at the three and a half grey walls surrounding her and leant back in her chair. In her peripheral she could see the guy in the cubicle across from hers staring at her like she had two heads. She turned to look at him, quirking her eyebrow and he snapped his eyes back to his own screen in a heartbeat.

It was amazing how quickly SHIELD had moved what was left of the old HQ and into Stark Tower. Tony didn't think it was quite so amazing but Rory was impressed with the sheer speed at which SHIELD moved.

"Level three is what again exactly?" Dugan asked.

"Reports and analysis" Rory rolled her eyes. "Any missions in or out for any of the level six and seven agents come through level three."

"Oh Darling, sometimes it's good to go back to our roots, to remember where we started." Peggy said, trying to encourage her youngest granddaughter.

"Would you like to go back to the bottom of your chain of command, Grandma?" Rory scowled, looking down at the paper work from the latest mission of _Agent G. Ward_. She envied him for doing the job she was born to do and made a mental note to punch him next time he asked her out for drinks.

"Not particularly but we're not talking about _me_ , are we?" Peggy quipped in a clipped and commanding tone. Rory smirked.

"No ma'am." She muttered, mock saluting her computer screen.

A knock sounded on her cubicle wall and she glanced up. Clint stood in his SHIELD polo shirt, sunglasses on top of his head, with a girl Rory recognised from Puente Antiguo beside him. "Uh guys I have to go. I'll call you later ok?" She muttered a goodbye and an ' _I love you'_ to their responses and hung up the receiver.

"Agent Barton? What brings you to lowly level three?" Rory smiled up at her friend and former SO.

"I was actually surprised when Sitwell sent me down here to see you." Clint smirked, leaning his elbow on the cubicle wall, making it bow slightly with his weight. "I have a new recruit for you." He threw a thumb over his shoulder. "You remember Miss Lewis from New Mexico?"

"How could I forget?" Rory smiled at the girl in the rainbow beanie. "Did you ever get that iPod back, Miss Lewis?"

"It turned up mysteriously on my trailer steps. I'd like to thank whoever wrangled that one. They sure are awesome." Darcy replied, giving her a small wink.

"That was _you_?" Clint exclaimed, pointing at Rory. "I got my ass kicked for losing that iPod!"

"I don't know what you're talking about, Clint." Rory smiled and smoothed her skirt. "So what's Darcy going to be doing?"

Clint muttered something about 'damned women' before he spoke again. "Miss Lewis has been asked to be the bridge between Stark, The Avengers and SHIELD." Clint couldn't keep the amusement out of his tone. Rory raised her eyebrows and peered at the shorter woman.

"That's a big job." She noted, wondering if Darcy knew what she was getting herself into.

"I think I'm going to call it 'Superhero babysitting'." Darcy grinned, pushing her glasses up her nose. "They're letting me finish my degree at Columbia while I work here. Personally, I think I know too much which is why they offered me the job, but hey work is work and this is some seriously _cool_ work."

Her sentences flowed together like rapid fire and Rory had to take a couple of seconds to catch up. She looked at Clint again.

"So what do I have to do with this?"

"You're a senior agent and I think Fury is still punishing you. You're showing her the ropes of what the paper work will entail." Clint's smile widened and he took a step back as Rory's eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Lucky you, huh?" Darcy elbowed her in the shoulder. Rory sucked in a breath.

Darcy wasn't so bad. In fact, in New Mexico, the two had gotten along quite well. She wasn't going to let Fury get to her. He was looking for a rise, an argument, a classic " _Aurora Dugan_ " reaction. He wouldn't get it. Not this time.

"Piece of cake. I've trained people before." She nodded slowly, scooping some papers off her desk and shoving them in a pile to make room for Darcy. "Besides, having someone to talk to will be nice." She glanced at the agent across from her and saw him snap his head back in the direction of his screen again. "What happened to Doctor Foster?"

"She's being debriefed by Natasha and Fury in the labs. Until SHIELD reopens their labs, she's working out of Starks." Clint explained, looking at his watch.

"Tony agreed to that?" Surprise coloured Rory's tone. Clint let out a barking laugh.

"He doesn't exactly know yet – which is why I have to get back. Miss Lewis, I leave you in capable hands."

He winked before retreating, leaving Darcy to wave and grin like an idiot. Rory snorted, shaking her head as she pulled a chair up beside hers.

"He's such a babe,"

"Don't get pulled in. Clint's had more girlfriends in this place than you'd think humanely possible." Rory shook her head, sitting behind her desk again.

"Are you one of them?" Darcy asked as she also sat, Clint Barton well out of sight.

Rory laughed loudly.

"Oh god no." She shook her head. "Clint is my old S.O. Supervising officer." She added at Darcy's quizzical look. "Strictly business and he wasn't game enough to try anything with me. My Pa used to be the director and _his_ old S.O. He knows intimate secrets about my Pa's skills that keep him up at night." Rory sat back in her seat and pulled the file that Darcy had been clutching toward her. Darcy whistled and sat, twisting the chair forward and back as she waited.

"Family business, huh?" Darcy asked lightly.

"My Grandmother was a founder, so I guess you could call it that." Rory nodded, glancing up from her file. "No special treatment for me though." She gestured around the small cubicle. "Obviously."

"Clint said you should have been fired." Darcy pointed out, matter of factly.

"Clint knows I know too much to leave this place." Rory corrected. "No one just gets 'fired' from SHIELD." She glanced up at the girl in the knitted sweater with a kitten on it and pushed the paper work toward her. "Hope you like paperwork. There's going to be lots of it."

"As longs as there's coffee and lots of it, I'll live." Darcy replied good-naturedly.

The two sat for the next few hours, going over what exactly went into paper work, how it was filed and what to do if something went wrong. The job itself was pretty straight forward – it was when people _didn't_ do their paperwork or didn't to it properly that there was an issue; but Darcy struck Rory as the kind of woman who didn't mind chasing people down for things so she figured she'd be ok.

"Knock knock?" A voice made both women jump and look up from the file they were going over. "Well Rory, where have you been hiding this ravishing young woman?" Arthur leant over and took Darcy's hand.

"No hiding. Just arrived. Hi I'm Darcy." She said in a rush, pushing square frames up her nose.

"Ah Darcy from New Mexico?" Arthur asked, glancing at Rory. She nodded and Darcy glanced at her.

"You mentioned me to him but not him to me?" She gasped. Rory rolled her eyes.

"Arthur Faslworth. I mentioned him."

"OH! The Irritating Englishman." Darcy clicked her fingers. Arthur sputtered in surprise.

"Really, Rory. How little do you think of me?" He shot Rory a glare. She laughed, shaking her head.

"I call you that out of love." She said honestly. "What are you doing here?"

"Well I was coming to see if my favourite girl wanted to go to lunch, but I think I'll just find a new one." He turned his attention back to Darcy. "Say, Darcy. A spot has just opened up as my favourite girl and it comes with lunch included, would you care to take it?" Arthur smiled at her, batting his baby blues as much as he could.

Darcy burst out laughing. "Sorry dude, chicks before dicks. Rory's my girl now, also kind of my boss so…" Darcy shrugged easily as Rory burst out laughing at the look on Arthur's face. He was used to the batting eyelashes and swooning; the concept of a tongue lashing instead was new to him.

"You're going the right way for a pay rise but I am not your boss." She shook her head, standing and stretching her back. "But I will say yes to lunch, Artie."

"You wound me." He stuck his tongue out at Darcy and shook his head. "Alright, where to? Darcy, you coming?" He turned as Rory stepped out of the cubicle.

"Ah, yeah sure?" She nodded, standing and joining them.

"I heard someone around here say the café down the block was reopened for clean up crews, so there will do. Is Jas coming?" Rory asked as she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

"Jas is headed to Tahiti on secret business." Arthur shrugged. "Couldn't say much. Classified."

"Oh wow, ok go Jasper." Rory murmured as the three stepped into the elevator. She scrolled past Steve's number in her inbox and wondered if she should invite him to come as well. She wasn't aware that he had anything on in the way of work and he mentioned himself that his schedule was painfully free.

As the doors opened she called his number, placing the phone to her ear.

"Jas can't tell you, love." Arthur elbowed her when he saw the phone. "Honestly she never listened to a word I say. Lesson number one, Darcy: Rory never listens."

"Oh I have lessons now do I?" Darcy asked. Rory stopped listening after that as she received Steve's voicemail.

" _Why do I have to say my –"_ Followed by a beep. She pressed her lips together to keep from laughing and made a mental note to help him fix that as soon as possible. Although, it was pretty adorable and she was tempted to just leave it.

"Hi Steve, it's just Rory wondering if you wanted to come for lunch. Call me back when you can."

She hung up and caught up with Darcy and Arthur easily.

"Rule number 5: no mimicking my accent unless you can do a very good British accent." He waggled a finger in Rory's direction. "For someone with an English grandmother, you do a terrible one so don't even think about giving a demonstration."

Rory's mouth promptly shut.

"It's not that bad." She mumbled, scowling.

"Makes my ears bleed, darling."

Darcy laughed and cleared her throat.

"How's this then, hmm? Is my accent any good?" Her accent was flawless enough to have Arthur's jaw drop in surprise.

"Not half bad actually." Arthur grinned. "How –"

"I minored in dramatic arts." Darcy answered before Arthur even asked. "I was Lady Macbeth in sophomore year."

"Educated and artistic. I like you more and more, Darcy." Arthur slung an arm around Darcy's shoulders as they approached the café a couple of blocks away from Stark tower. "Who were you calling anyway, Dugan?"

"Just Steve. I was seeing if he was free for lunch but it went straight to voice mail.." Rory shrugged. Arthur nodded then scratched his chin.

"You could always just ask him to his face…" He suggested as they stood scanning for a table.

"Maybe if I'd thought about it back at the tower, I would have." Rory sighed, shaking her head. Arthur tapped her on the shoulder and then pointed past a crowd of people.

"He's over there, idiot." He said. "Holding our table, obviously." Arthur led the way, weaving through the lunch-eating diners to the table Steve was seated at. Rory smiled as they approached.

"I'm good for coffee, thanks." Steve didn't look up from the napkin he was doodling on. He had a baseball cap pulled down over his eyes and some seriously dark aviator sunglasses perched on his nose that she guessed belonged to Tony. He was trying his best to hide and Rory pursed her lips, trying not to smile.

"I'm flattered you think so little of me, Rogers." Arthur rolled his eyes, taking a seat across from the man. "But I'm only a waitress when duty calls."

"Oh!" Steve jerked his head up and looked from Arthur to Rory and then to Darcy. "I'm so sorry, she's been over three times already, asking if I want anything or can she get me something. Last time she told me there's free wireless and I just – Why is she offering me a radio?!" He looked and sounded so exasperated that Rory couldn't even laugh.

"Oh Steve." Rory chuckled, patting his shoulder. "She means wireless internet. Mind if we join?" Rory patted him on the shoulder to calm his apology. She glanced around, waving at the two agents who had been tailing him. They nodded in response and turned away.

"Of course, take a seat." He stood, pushing his chair back with a loud scrap and reached for the back of her seat.

"I tried to call your cell but it rang out." Rory explained, smiling her thanks and taking a seat.

"I left that thing in the tower. I'm not used to carrying one, I'm sorry." He admitted sheepishly then moved to pull Darcy's seat out too.

"Wow. You just put all other men to shame, don't you?" Darcy blinked, giving him a good and thorough once over before taking a seat. Rory could see the blush on Steve's cheeks as he sat in his seat again.

"Steve, this is Darcy Lewis. She started with SHIELD today as the liaison between us and you guys." Rory explained, taking the menu from under Steve's napkin to peruse.

"You guys?" Steve asked, his brow furrowing slightly. "As in the Avengers?"

"Yup. Nice to meet you, Cap." Darcy smiled, extending her hand for him to shake. "My brothers used to have your comic books when I was a kid. I'm a big fan."

Steve's cheeks flushed red. "Well, uh… thank you ma'am." He shook her hand. "It's nice to meet you too. I didn't realise the Avenger's were a thing. I thought I was just going to become a part of SHIELD."

"In a round about way, yes." Rory nodded. "Darcy's kind of like what Pepper is for Tony."

"A handler?" Arthur snorted. Darcy laughed.

"Like I said, the job description was basically 'superhero babysitter'." She shrugged, playing with a curl of hair. "I'm game."

Steve laughed and shook his head.

"You probably won't be after you meet everyone." He assured her. Rory laughed and gestured for the waitress to come and take their order. She did so quickly, beaming down at Steve the entire time.

"If that's all you guys wanted, I'll take your menus and get you fresh napkins." She chirped, scooping up the menu's and the napkins that had been in front of Steve.

"Ah wait!" Rory reached for the white tissue stained with black ink. "There's something…" She paused as she studied it. "There. Thanks." She said absently, waving the waitress away. "Steve, did you do these?" She laid the napkins out flat in front of her and traced the outline of the stark tower sketch.

"Yeah. They're just doodles. She could have taken them." Steve replied, reaching for his glass.

"Wow dude they're like… Picasso good." Darcy peered over Rory's shoulder.

"I wouldn't say that." Steve's cheeks turned red.

"They're amazing." Rory studied the next one. It was a car, half crushed by a fallen piece of building. "I had no idea you could draw like this!"

"I went to art school before the military, " Steve shrugged easily. "Two years of classes taught me a thing or two."

"I believe there's a dash of natural talent mixed in there, Rogers." Arthur grinned, causing Steve's cheeks to heat up further.

"It was about the only thing I was ever good at before the serum."

"You should buy yourself a sketch pad and practice." Rory smiled, handing them back to him. He waved them away.

"Keep them. They're just doodles." He nodded though and smiled. "and yeah, maybe I will. I do miss it a lot. Always kept my mind occupied."

"I was always terrible at art. I had ideas but could never make my fingers cooperate." She grimaced, shaking her head. She tucked the napkins carefully into the pocket of her purse and zipped it up.

"I'm sure with enough practice you'd get better." Steve said, feeling a small sense of pride that she actually was going to keep the doodles. They weren't anything special and he made a mental note to draw her something really good one day so that she could keep in her apartment.

"You haven't seen it. I can make stick figures look bad." She insisted with a laugh.

"So then a lot of practice." Steve corrected himself, joining her in the laugh.

His day had been the usual combination of helping clean the debris from the city followed by a run and then sitting at the café passing the time by watching and sketching the modern world around him. Sometimes he'd sketch the people. He liked the hard working people trying to piece their lives back together, but the pretty blonde waitress wasn't too bad either.

Lately however, architecture interested him more. How it looked, how it crumbled and how it compared to his memories. Memory and reality were vastly different to say the least. Today was all about harsh lines and sleek finishes. He didn't see the appeal but he liked to draw it none the less.

Glancing across the table he watched Darcy candidly explain something to Arthur who laughed and shook his head in response. Rory then jumped in with a few words that made the three peel off into laughter. He smiled at the scene because at last he finally felt like he fit somewhere. He had friends, at least he hoped to call them that, to joke with and to eat lunch with. He wasn't alone.

The meals were placed in front of them and the four dug in.

"How are you liking the desk job?" Steve asked Rory when there was a lull in conversation.

"It's driving me crazy and I swear if the kid in the cubicle across from mine stares at me one more time I'm going to throw my stapler at him." Rory shook her head, spearing a fry on her fork.

"Yeah I noticed him gawking. Couldn't work out if it was because of me or you." Darcy added, tucking some dark hair over her ear. Steve noticed her hair had strands that were tinged dark blue and purple, a quirk that he'd never seen before.

"Probably me. The disgraced SHIELD agent demoted to desk duty." Rory gave a dramatic sigh.

"Could be because you're both hot." Arthur pointed out. "I remember what it was like to sit at the desk beside you. You do this thing with your pen where you tease your tongue around it…" Arthur gave a demonstration with his fork that had Rory swatting his arm and Darcy giggling. "Very distracting."

Steve grinned as Rory's cheeks blushed red. "I do not!" She shook her head. "I'm sticking with my 'disgraced SHIELD agent' theory."

"Rogers, tell her it's probably the former." Arthur waved his fork in Steve's direction.

"You are attractive." Steve agreed with a smile. "and it probably doesn't help with Ms Lewis sitting beside you." He nodded in Darcy's direction. Rory's mouth fell open in shock and Arthur and Darcy both burst out laughing.

"That was _so_ smooth, Cap." Darcy sounded impressed. Steve just smiled and shrugged.

"I'm only telling the truth."

Rory's cheeks were pink as her grandfather's words echoed in her ears.

 _You didn't hear how he talked…_

She shook her head. "Get out, both of you." She cast her eyes from Arthur to Steve, trying her hardest to glare at them but failing miserably.

Arthur spoke, but it was drowned out by the sound of a jackhammer on the other side of the street.

Steve tensed as images flooded his mind. Black dirt mixed with blood; trenches where men lined up, the tops of their helmets the only things breaking the edge; machine guns bringing them down.

His fists clenched around his fork and he felt the metal bend in his palm. It wasn't real. He knew it wasn't real but he'd be damned if he couldn't smell gunpowder or hear German and American voices alike, screaming to kill, maim, and destroy.

The _budda budda budda_ of the jackhammer was only getting louder and louder and the smell of gunpowder stronger.

Louder and stronger.

 _Louder and stronger…_

"Steve?" A sweet voice that he'd heard once before cut through his thoughts. "Steve, are you alright?" A touch as soft as silk rested on his exposed wrist. The grip tightened and he opened his eyes to see delicate fingers pressed into his skin. They were connected to a hand and a palm that was pressed against his flesh. They belonged to a girl whose face was a picture of worry.

He was standing, he realised a minute later. Looking down at her, breathing heavily. His chair was abandoned behind him, thrown away when he'd stood abruptly.

He stared down at the face, anchoring himself to her.

Her eyes, a brilliant shade of amber in this light, phased into a face he recognised from long ago, red hair melting into deep brown locks perfectly styled into no-fuss pincurls.

"Peg?" He murmured, the word dying on his lips as he realised his mistake too late.

"Close but no dice. Rory, remember?" Her lips turned up into a soft smile as her face and hair shifted back to normal. She stood next to him, her hand moving up his arm to his shoulder.

"I know. Sorry." He muttered. The jackhammering stopped abruptly, leaving his ears ringing.

"Oh thank god for that." Arthur sighed with relief, speaking for the rest of them.

Steve looked around. People were looking at him, murmuring among themselves. One woman was pointing at his hand and he realised that he was holding onto his knife. He dropped it and it clattered to the plate.

Rory's fingers tightened on his shoulder.

"Bit rude, they could at least wait until the café's not packed with people before they did that." Darcy agreed, picking up her fork again. "You ok, Cap?"

Steve didn't say anything, his eyes intently studying the food he no longer felt like eating. Rory's thumb traced circles on his shoulder, standing tall beside him.

"M'fine." He muttered.

"You're gonna be ok, it'll get better over time." Rory said softly. Steve glanced at her, a questioning look in his eyes. "It took Grant years to be able to talk himself down from an attack. You didn't do too badly." Her grip relaxed somewhat but she didn't take her hand away. She tugged on his shoulder and lowered herself to her seat. Steve followed suit, thanking Arthur for getting his seat upright.

"Your brother have PTSD?" Darcy inquired casually, salting her fries.

"First tour hit him the hardest." Rory nodded, her eyes giving Steve a soft and comforting look. "He'd come home and something as simple as dropping a pan in the kitchen would mean he'd go into full ranger mode. Once, a car backfired in the street and he broke my collarbone pulling me to the floor for cover. He never felt worse in his life about something but he said in that moment he was back in the desert." Her lips turned up in a silent _I understand_ smile and Steve dropped his gaze to his plate once more.

"My mom was mugged walking home one night in the town where we lived. For weeks, even something that just remotely sounded like footsteps behind her would make her dissolve into tears." Darcy said around a mouthful of burger. "It sucked but it got better."

"It always gets better." Arthur agreed. "We've all been there Cap. Rory and I both."

Steve swallowed and shook Rory's hand off his arm. "I'm fine." He repeated, a little more forcefully. He pushed his plate away and stood again. "I'm sorry, please excuse me I need to… I have to go." He dropped some money onto the table and darted through the crowded café.

"For a big guy he sure does move fast, huh?" Darcy murmured as they all watched him go.

"He's doing pretty well to be able to control the panic attacks." Rory said again, picking up her fork to take another mouthful. "I thought for sure he was going to lose it completely."

"You not going after him, love?" Arthur asked, turning his gaze onto Rory. He could see by the look on her face that she was contemplating it.

"He wants space. I'll check on him later." Rory shook her head. "He's just embarrassed right now. He doesn't need me running after him like his mother."

"Or it could be just what he needs." Darcy pointed out. "Buuut what do I know right? I'm just a political science major who tased a god."

Rory glanced at her and shook her head with a smile.

"I'll go find him later, I promise." She assured them both and pushed her plate away.

* * *

Author's Note:

This was more of a filler chapter than anything else. Next one out soon. Thank you for reading and please like, comment and share if you liked it.

Playlist:

The Draw - Bastille

World on Fire - Les Friction

Warrior - Imagine Dragons


	7. Never Ending Counting Sheep

Show Me That You're Human

Chapter 7: Never Ending Counting Sheep

* * *

Rory woke with a start.

A woman screaming and a deep, malice filled laugh was all it took to make her palms sweat and her heart pound. It was the same thing that had plagued her dreams since childhood, turning a peaceful slumber into a terror filled void and like usual she remembered nothing other than a twisted metal wreckage and her mother's brown eyes, terrifyingly wide while she tried to reach her.

She lay in bed a few moments trying to still her heart before she sat up and climbed from her bed, her mouth and throat ridiculously dry. She rolled her tense shoulders as she walked to the door. The apartment seemed to be getting smaller and smaller, the dark shadows in the room filling her gut with terror again. She needed to get out, roam around the tower until her mind stopped playing tricks on her.

It was a dream she'd been having since she was a little girl. It was nothing more than fragments of a long forgotten memory, one that couldn't possibly be real. The images sometimes changed but the one thing that remained the same were the screams; the scream of tires on a road and a woman's scream, her mother's she guessed, high pitched and terror-filled.  
Then there was that laugh. The cold and cruel laugh that filled every crevice of her mind until she could hear nothing but that.

A shiver crept up her spine and she hummed to herself, wishing Tony's elevators had music playing in them but the tower would be mostly be empty at this time of night, she supposed. The music wasn't really needed.

The doors opened and as she pushed through the construction plastic, she was met with the sound of the TV blaring some ridiculous pop tune. Instantly her hand went to her hip where her knife usually sat, an automatic reaction that wasn't needed inside Tony's tower, but still she was cautious. Years of training had drilled that into her.

As she edged around the giant Loki-shaped crevice in the floor, she could make out the shadowy outline of someone tall standing in front of the tv, their shoulder's tense as they facing her.

"Aurora?" They said her name and she squinted into the light.

"Steve." She smiled, relaxing, as she recognised the figure. She made her way to where he was and sat when he did. "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep." He replied, one hand going behind his head to rub his hair. "Came down to see what was on the television… and have some coffee." He nodded to the empty mug on the coffee table.

"Mmm, I know the feeling." She nodded, moving to sit beside him on the plush couch. She drew her legs up to her chest and hugged her knees. "I had a nightmare." She admitted, resting her chin on them. Her eyes went to the TV where some RnB station played the latest hit. She wrinkled her nose, she'd always been more of a rock kind of girl. She reached for the remote and changed the channel, her ears ringing in the silence.

"Oh?" Steve sounded surprised. She turned to him as the television turned white and lit up the room. She had to pause a moment as she realised he wasn't wearing a shirt and the perfectly cut body that was hinted at behind his t-shirts was finally on display. She smirked before she shrugged.

"Same one I've always had. Screaming. Maniacal laughter. Cold sweats of terror." She said, shivering again as the laughter echoed in her mind. She shook herself to clear her head, rubbing her arms to ward off the gooseflesh crawling over her skin.

"Sounds like fun." Steve grimaced, flicking the channel to something a little less loud and ridiculous. "You get them often?"

"Nothing I can't handle. In this line of work, nightmares are to be expected every now and then." She replied. "But this particular one I've had since I was a child. You think I'd be used to it but nope." She pulled a face, shaking her head. "How are you after today by the way? I knocked on your door but I guess you were out?" She rested her cheek on her knees so her head was turned to look at him.

Steve felt a blush creep over his face. He was embarrassed because he almost lost it in front of them and he'd run. He didn't want them to think he wasn't a strong person. He _was_ strong; the panic just overwhelmed him sometimes.

"I'm fine. Honestly." He assured her, but was met with a disbelieving gaze. He sighed. He'd gone straight to the gym after the incident and had broken two more bags. That had tired his body out enough hat when he got back a little after 7 he'd fallen right to sleep.

That sleep hadn't lasted long and he'd woken up to find himself sprawled on the floor with a broken lamp, with a vague memory of being back in the war. It wasn't the first time he'd slept walked and broken furniture so he hadn't been too worried about it.

"I had a nightmare too." He found himself admitting, not entirely sure what made him say it. "It makes sleep a little difficult. It's why I'm here watching television and not in my room… My room always seems so small after one."

"Yeah, me to." She replied, a small smile of understanding on her face. "Was it because of today?" She asked in a soft voice.

"Maybe?" He shrugged, his insides squirming. "I'm fine though. I have a session with Doctor Holstein tomorrow. I'll talk to her then." He assured her, hoping she wasn't worrying about him. Even so, it was nice to be able to talk to her. She reminded him of Peggy. The genuine care on her face made him feel a little better. It wasn't filled with pity or judgement, just something genuine that made him feel ok again.

"Good." She nodded. "What's she like? I have a session with her tomorrow as well." She asked, rolling her eyes.

"She's nice, looks really young but she's nice." Steve said, frowning slightly. "What do you need to go to a shrink for?"

"Mandatory psych eval. All personnel who were on the ground during the invasion are required to have one. I got assigned Holstein because I was also demoted and again, that is a mandatory psych eval thing." She waved a hand. "No big. We've all had psych sessions before. You can't make it to level 7 without at least 5. 10 in Clint's case." She said, her smile assuring.

They fell silent, enjoying the company of the other person and watched the African Safari documentary that was just starting on Discovery Channel.

"Thanks, by the way." Steve said quietly after a few minutes. Rory glanced at him.

"What for?" She asked.

"For knowing what was going on today and not worrying about it." He shrugged a shoulder, his eyes leaving the TV for half a second to look at her.

"Oh I worried, don't mistake me not running after you as me not worrying." She glanced at him and found him watching her with a curious expression. It was tense but tender all at once, his blue eyes hooded in the dim light. "I just remember Grant liked his space. It was embarrassing for him to freak out like that because he was supposed to be the strong one and the attacks made him feel weak."

What she said rang true somewhere deep inside Steve and he was relieved to know that he wasn't the only one going through this. It made it a little less scary to know he wasn't an anomaly. "How long did it last for him?"

"Two, maybe three years. It was why he changed and trained to be a sniper." Rory fought back a yawn. "But it got better. Slowly. As long as he kept up with his psych sessions and had the love and support of his family he got there in the end."

Steve's stomach fell. He had no family to support him. He needed this to be gone quickly, he was an Avenger and he couldn't have a weakness. His teammates were depending on him to be at his peak and if he suddenly had an attack out in the field he'd be letting them down.

"Well I guess all I got is sessions with the doc, huh?" Steve shook his head, his tone bitter.

"You've got friends, Steve." Rory lifted her head, dropping her legs back down in front of her. "You've got me and Arthur and the other Avengers… Friends help just as much as family, you just gotta let them." She smiled, turning her body so her shoulder was against the back of the plush couch and she was facing him. She rested her head and closed her eyes, giving a soft sigh and a wave of tiredness washed over her body.

"It's a weakness though. The team doesn't need to see that." He shook his head, scowling and picking at the throw rug beside him.

Her eyes opened. "You don't think we've all been there? Clint has. He was in the army, he's killed and almost been killed more times than he can count now. It haunts him all the time. Natasha's been brainwashed, beaten, tortured. She gets nightmares, and panics just like the rest of us." She hesitated a moment before she sighed. "I backed out of a mission in Hungary because of something that happened on a previous mission. That was the first time I'd been shot and almost had no extraction. I didn't want to go through that again. No one thinks any less of me. Being scared isn't a weakness, and weakness isn't a sign of failure Steve. It's a sign that we've been broken and we need to fix ourselves. We're human."

Steve listened in silence. It was amazing and comforting to hear that he wasn't alone. He knew it was his own stupid and stubborn nature that made him feel like he was.

"Thank you." He replied, not knowing how to speak what he was feeling. Overwhelming gratitude made his chest ache and he felt a little less lost for the first time since he woke up.

"You don't have to thank me, Cap. I'm glad I can help." She smiled, shutting her eyes again. "I've grown up listening to stories about you. In some weird way I feel like I need to protect you."

Steve let out a laugh. "I don't need protecting ma'am."

Rory grinned. "Oh I know you don't need protection from lil' ol' me, Mr 300-pounds-of-muscle." She reached over and poked his bicep. He flinched away with a laugh. "You're just a part of the family, you know?" She shrugged and rubbed her eyes.

Steve smiled, watching her while she relaxed next to him. "I appreciate you looking out for me." He murmured. "Better than a bunch of suits who think that I'm nothing more than a weapon, right?"

"Exactly." She smiled, her eyes closed once more. "You can come to me for anything Steve, day or night. I'll do my best to help okay?"

"Okay."

"Including nightmares and panic attacks."

"I'm fine."

"Steve."

He sighed in amusement as her eyes snapped open once more and she glared at him. "Understood." He gave her a small salute, watching as she smiled in triumph.

"Good."

"You know I technically outrank you, right?"

"Yep. You gonna fight me on it, Captain?"

He was met with sparkling eyes and he shook his head quickly.

"No ma'am. If there's one thing I learned it's that you never fight with a Carter woman. You gal's have a tendency to win."

"That's because we're usually right."

Steve shook his head, a snort escaping his lips as he threw the blanket from beside him over both their legs. He settled beside her, his eyelids growing heavy and the spot where her foot pressed into his leg tingling ever so slightly, completely content with his life. A strange feeling, yes, but one he knew he would come to appreciate with time.

* * *

Steve watched as Doctor Holstein scribbled into the notebook on her lap. Everything they'd ever talked about in the last 3 weeks was documented in that little book. It was strange to think this new part of his life could be condensed down into just a few pages and ink but there it was. It's ugly blue cover poking out at him from against her knee. It was a familiar sight. He came in, sat down, smelled her perfume before they talked for an hour and then he left. He couldn't tell if he was making progress or if this was all a waste of his time but he'd been assured he had to be here as a requirement of SHIELD.

"Can you tell me about this nightmare, Steve?" She glanced up at him, smiling encouragingly. "You don't have to if it's too hard, but I would like to know." She pushed some dark hair that had fallen in front of her eye to the side and tucked it behind her ear.

He shrugged a shoulder. "Makes no difference to me Doc." He murmured. "I was back in a warzone with my old team. We were under attack, shells going off everywhere, guns firing, people dying. We were trapped in trenches and the only way to survive was to get up and out. None of them made it." He clenched his fists, seeing the dead faces of his friends flash in his mind again. "I woke up on the floor with a smashed lamp." He swallowed, looking guilty. It was the third lamp in as many weeks that he had to replace.

Erica took her glasses off and rested her pen on her knee. "So you had a panic attack as well." She stated. Steve just nodded. He was used to waking up in funny places. Sometimes he woke up in his living room, his shield on his arm as if someone was about to attack him. "You know that that is just another part of your PTSD, don't you Steve?" She reassured him. "Your mind wants you to see what it wants to see and it distorts your reality." She explained. "We've been working on how to control them, remember?"

Steve nodded. "I know. It helped earlier in the day." He glanced at her and found her looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "I was at the café down the street and a jackhammer started to go off. I saw and felt and smelt everything I had on the battlefield. But I controlled it. I could breath and I managed to clear my mind."

"Good." Doctor Holstein smiled warmly. "Very good, Steve. Small steps are better than no steps." She picked up her pen and scribbled something down. "Your nightmare was probably just left over from that attack you avoided during the day." She spoke, half to him and half to herself. "But avoiding an attack all together is progress."

"I ran away." He spoke softly, causing Holstein to look up at him sharply.

"You took yourself from a triggering situation. Right now, that is not running away." She insisted. "That's self preservation. You're a strong man. If you had had a full blown attack at that café you could have done some damage." Steve nodded slowly as she spoke.

"Acknowledging you needed to get out of that situation is admirable and progress." She assured him, her eyes warm and encouraging. "Did you manage to get back to sleep last night?"

An involuntary smile broke out on Steve's face.

For the first time since he woke up and the nightmares started he had managed to go back to sleep. He'd been talking to Rory and she'd closed her eyes so he'd settled in to watch the TV a little longer and then all of a sudden she was shaking his shoulder and sun was shining through the windows.

It had been the nicest wakeup he'd had in a very long time.

"Yes, I did. I fell asleep on the couch in the living room." He nodded. Holstein beamed at him.

"That's the first time that's happened, isn't it?" She asked, scribbling quickly on the notepad. He almost laughed at her excitement. If there was one thing that woman was, it was proud of his small victories.

"It is." He nodded. "Best sleep I've had in a long time too."

"What changed, do you think?"

"I ran into Aurora Dugan while in the living room and I fell asleep talking to her." He admitted. Holstein stopped writing for a second and glanced at him.

"Ah yes, Aurora Dugan. I see she's taking those orders seriously then." She chuckled and Steve's eyebrow rose, catching her sarcasm.

"I don't want her to obey those orders. She's been nothing but good to me since I met her and it's only been a week." He insisted, remembering the argument he'd had with Fury over her.

"I know Steve. Don't worry, I'm re-evaluating the impact she may have on your mental health and keeping an eye on it." She nodded, a smile on her face. "Why was she in the living room that early in the morning?"

Steve hesitated a moment before he responded. "I don't know." It was a lie but it wasn't his place to tell anyone about Rory's nightmares. "She didn't tell me why and I didn't want to pry. It's none of my business."

Holstein scribbled something in her notebook and was silent for a long time. Steve waited patiently, his nose tickling, as the smell of her sickly sweet perfume seemed to intensify in the silence. "I see. Why do you think Agent Dugan helped you fall back to sleep?" She asked, without looking up.

Steve thought for a moment. He wasn't entirely sure but he liked her company a lot. He found it calming and he hadn't been joking when he told her he felt less lonely since she came into his life. It was like she was on a mission to make him feel at home.

"She makes me feel less lonely, I guess." He smiled, remembering her instructions to tell his doctor that. "She's easy to talk to, very friendly and… she wants to help me. I feel like she genuinely cares about me as a person."

Doctor Holstein looked up from her notepad, her eyebrows above the frames of her glasses. "Do you think we're not trying to help you?" Her voice softened as if he'd hurt her.

"I think you're assigned to help me but the majority of SHIELD, no offense to you Doc, sees me as a weapon and nothing more. Aurora treats me like a human."

Holstein merely nodded.

"We are here to help you and we don't see you as a weapon, Steve." She flicked a page in her notebook and continued to write, not looking up at him while she spoke. "I still have my reservations over you and Aurora Dugan being in close proximity so I _will_ be monitoring you closely."

Steve rubbed the back of his head and pulled a face. "But why?"

"Because I want to make sure her 'memories of the past' don't trigger any more attacks for you." She pointed out to him. Steve scoffed.

"She doesn't, I can assure you. If anything, knowing about my friends and family helps a lot." He insisted, hoping that she would just leave the topic of Aurora alone.

"Or they can trigger your attacks." Doctor Holstein sighed, sliding her glasses off her face again. She ran a hand through her hair, the brown locks falling against her shoulders. "Just humour me, ok? I might be wrong, I just want to be prepared for anything." She chuckled.

"Fine, but she's not being ordered away from me again." He nodded, defeated. "Just please tell Fury to give her back her job. I hate knowing that it's my fault she lost it."

"She's in with me for a psych evaluation soon so I'll see what I can do." Erica said with a nod. "How do you think you're adjusting, Steve?"

The question made Steve look up. The four weeks he'd actually been awake he'd been trying so hard to adjust and fit in. It was hard to know if he was ok or not though. It felt like a lifetime since he'd been asleep.

"I think… I'm ok, now I've made some friends." He nodded slowly. "The team and Aurora's friends are nice people. I'm feeling less lost."

"Have you thought about what happens if you meet a pretty girl you might be interested in?"

Her next question caught him even more off guard. "Honestly? No." He admitted truthfully. "It's not exactly high on my priorities list."

"Maybe it should be." Erica shrugged. "You're young and handsome, there should be nothing stopping you."

"Saving the world is a pretty good excuse." He pointed out. She smiled at him.

"You know what I mean, Steve. You can't hold onto the past forever. Moving on wouldn't be replacing her." Erica's words were assuring but Steve wasn't ready to think about it too much just yet.

Steve looked at his hands and nodded. "I know… I just… don't think I'm ready just yet. I have too much going on in my life. It wouldn't seem fair to throw that at someone."

"That's fair. Just don't hold yourself back, ok?" She snapped the notepad shut. "Your time is up, unless there's something else you want to talk about?"

Steve shook his head. "No ma'am, I'm good."

"I'll see you in a couple of days." She smiled and watched as he stood and headed for the door.

Steve felt like he could breath again as he walked out of her office, and closed the door behind him.

"Hey Stranger." A bright voice greeted him and he looked around.

"Hey." He smiled when he saw Rory leaning against the wall. "What're you doing here?"

"My session is next. Mandatory. Yuck." She pulled a face and kicked off the wall and stepped toward him. "Hey, so, I was thinking of watching Sleeping Beauty again tonight with popcorn and hot chocolate in my apartment, if you cared to join me?" She smiled and playfully punched her fists against his bicep. She rested one there and met his eye.

"That sounds good, yeah thanks." He nodded, returning her smile.

"Great! We should order pizza as well, there's this great place uptown, I hope they'll deliver here" She placed her hand on the door handle to Holstein's office. "I'll see you around 7?"

"Yeah, see you then." He nodded and waved his hand, feeling a lot lighter than when he went into his session. Rory grinned and waved back as she pushed into the office.

"Aurora Dugan, we meet at last." Erica Holstein trained her brilliantly green eyes on Rory and gestured toward the seat. "Please, take a seat."

"Thanks. Hi, nice to meet you." Rory sat and crossed her legs at the knees. She watched as Doctor Holstein took out a notebook and opened it to the first page. She was younger than Rory had imagined and dressed impeccably. Her clothes screamed money and her body language was robotically professional. She wore some kind of perfume that didn't match with the image though; it was too sweet, like spun sugar and very sickly.

Rory knew she would going to have a headache at the end of this.

"Now Miss Dugan –"

"Rory. Please." Rory interrupted her. "Not many call me Aurora, except family and that's usually only when I'm in trouble." She smiled.

 _Or Steve_. She thought. Not once in the past few days had he called her 'Rory'. She kind of liked that he didn't.

"Formal setting, Miss Dugan" Came the clipped reply. She scribbled something in the notebook as Rory stared at her in surprise. "Do you know why you're here today?"

"Psych evaluation. I was on the ground during the invasion." She replied, tucking some hair over her ear.

"You were also demoted." Doctor Holstein pointed out, glancing at her from over the top of her glasses. "We need to have a bit of a chat, over about four sessions to make sure you're coping with everything."

Rory snorted and shook her head. "I was demoted from field to desk, it's hardly a big deal."

"It can be an adjustment for some agents. Especially one with a record like yours." Doctor Holstein pulled a file toward her and opened it up. Rory craned her neck, trying to see what was in it. Something about the Doctor's tone rubbed her the wrong way.

"Record?" She queried, her stomach clenching at the thought of an unfamiliar doctor rifling through her darkest secrets.

"Well, you only graduated from the Academy five years ago and yet you've done so much for such a short amount of time." Holstein turned a page in her file, the paper crinkling loudly.

"SHIELD works us hard I suppose." Rory nodded, linking her fingers over her knees. "It doesn't seem like a long time when you're busy."

"Would have been longer but you studied for a short time at Boston College?" Holstein read from the page in front of her and Rory held her breath. Some of her past had been redacted, she's made sure it had, but it still had her on edge anytime someone went over her history.

She thought for a moment, trying to figure out how to answer the woman. "I always wanted to go to SHIELD, I just had things that held me back. Changing when I did seemed like the best time." She replied, happy with her response. It wasn't quite a lie but it wasn't the whole truth either.

"You were very successful too, considering your results from Boston College were subpar." Holstein met her eyes and Rory blinked at her in surprise.

"The Academy was something I was finally interested in… What I studied at BC wasn't overly interesting to me and I think that reflected in my grades." She gave a small shrug.

"So would you say it was an easier time because of your legacy?"

Rory's eyes widened. "I'm sorry, my legacy?" She asked.

Holstein nodded, peering at her over her glasses again. She had cold eyes, brilliant green but so cold and hard. She gave Rory an odd feeling, almost like she felt the need to protect her mind from probing thoughts.

"Your grandparents built this place from the ground up. You passed through the academy with flying colours. You don't think that it's because of who you are?" The tone was still there, slightly condescending and slightly accusatory.

"I worked damn hard at the Academy and we didn't make it publicly known who I was. Clint Barton was my S.O. straight from the academy, with help from Natasha Romanoff. They went hard on me _because_ of my legacy. I didn't have an easy time because of my name and if you're insinuating that Nick Fury goes easy on me because of my grandmother and grandfather, you're very wrong." Rory knew her tone was sharp but she didn't need the doctor writing down that she had a God Complex because of her family.

"How so?" One eyebrow rose slightly. The smell of pun sugar intensified and Rory had to breath through her mouth.

"Director Fury knows he can push me, so he does." She said simply. "He probably wouldn't have fired anyone else for breaking orders either. Just simply punished them in creative ways. He knows I hate paper pushing so here I am. Demoted to desk with paper coming out of my ears." She smiled pointedly. Holstein was nodding along as Rory spoke.

"But you don't think you got special treatment because of who you are."

"No." Her answer was firm and non negotiable. "No, I don't think I did. If anything it was harder because of who I am."

"Ok." She stared at the psychiatrist, wondering what the woman meant by that. Holstein perused the file again and Rory felt like her life was on display. She squirmed uncomfortably in her seat. "How are the nightmares?"

"Fine." Aurora replied tersely.

"Oh? Captain Rogers mentioned that you were awake with one last night. Was it the same one you've always had?" Holstein tapped her finger against the folder and glanced up at Rory.

Rory froze on the spot, her face remaining neutral and calm. "Captain Roger's mentioned that I had a nightmare?"

"He mentioned you, yes."

"It was only a small one, nothing to worry about." Rory shook her head, working to keep her breathing steady. She had to breath through her nose again and the perfume was still there.

"So it wasn't the recurring nightmare you've had since childhood?" She tapped the page again and Rory bit her lip. It was in her file and medical record. She'd been to more psychiatrists than she could count over her lifetime, always for the same, recurring nightmare but none could ever find a conclusive reason for it.

They had to list it on her SHIELD medical report just to prove she was mentally stable. She'd tried as hard as she'd could to have that redacted too but it was unfortunately still there.

"No. It was aliens." She lied, keeping her voice even. "You know, after the alien invasion we've just had? They were chasing me again."

Doctor Holstein nodded and jotted some more into the notebook. "Do you think they'll continue?"

"Probably not? Does it matter? I'm an agent, we all get nightmares. It's part of the job. I'd be more worried if I didn't." She pointed out, her voice edging closer to terse.

"Very true." Holstein smiled at her, the first one Rory had seen out of the woman and it unnerved her. "Let me know if it does get worse." She prompted. "Let's continue, shall we?"

Rory let out a small sigh.

The multitude of tests that were used in a psych evaluation were never the most fun things in the world. They were usually dry, boring and repetitive and the small, 60-minute session felt like it went on forever but soon it was over and Holstein was shuffling papers and sliding them into an envelope to be analysed later.

Rory felt like she could breathe for the first time in an hour

"So before we finish for the day, I will let you know that I'm monitoring Captain Roger's very closely now that you are in his life." Holstein said, making Rory pause as she stood from the chair.

"Why?" Rory asked, her brow wrinkling. "Do you think he's at risk?"

"Not so much a risk but I just want to make sure his mental health is going to be ok." Holstein replied.

Rory let out a snort and shook her head. "He's a grown man and sure he has his problems but I hardly think I will make much difference." She tucked some hair over her ear and then folded her hand across her stomach. "In fact, I'm pretty sure you'll find I may help him a little. The man needs friends, not colleagues."

Holstein looked like she was going to argue with her for the moment but she didn't say anything other than goodbye. "I was just letting you know, Miss Dugan."

Rory nodded. "Understood, Doctor." She turned and opened the door.

"Oh and Miss Dugan?" Rory turned back to Doctor Holstein, trying not to roll her eyes.

"Agent. I'm an Agent." Rory corrected her. It had been bugging her all session. The woman wanted formalities and Rory had earned her title.

Holstein smiled that smile again. "My apologies, _agent;_ If you do have another nightmare please come to me. We'll work on some strategies for dealing with them, ok? I don't want to have to make this down on your file as a sign of mental instability."

The hair on the back of Rory's neck stood up on end. She'd been threatened in the past and that was hitting all the right notes. She didn't know what it was about Doctor Holstein that made her back arc but she didn't trust the woman.

"Sure thing, Doc." She faked a smile before she stepped out of the office. "Hell _no_." She muttered as she walked to the elevator. She never talked about her nightmares. She'd dealt with them long enough to know she didn't need anyone to help her, because after her heart stopped racing and she woke up properly, she was fine.

She didn't even know why she'd told Captain Rogers but apparently he couldn't be trusted with the news. God, she couldn't believe him. Why the hell would he talk about something like that to a Doctor, for gods sake? It wasn't his nightmare to tell, it wasn't his place to discuss her.

Especially when that could mean the difference between being reinstated as a field agent and being stuck on the desk for the rest of her life.

Before she knew it she found herself in front of his door, hammering loudly on it. She fumed, her temper unfortunately getting the best of her and she tapped her foot as she waited.

"Aurora, hey." Steve smiled at her as the door opened, revealing him to be only in a towel, his torso glistening with moisture. For a moment she couldn't reply, her eyes taking in the sight before her. "What's up?" He shifted and her eyes snapped to his as she remembered why she was there.

"Did you talk to Holstein about my nightmare?" She demanded, not returning the smile.

Steve blinked in response, looking slightly bewildered. "I mentioned that you were awake when I was," He nodded slowly. "But I didn't –"

"Don't." She shook her head, cutting him off. "Just don't. That was private." She snapped, scowling. "That's just flagged on her radar that I may be suffering from some kind of… 'mental instability'." She quoted with her fingers, rolling her eyes.

"But I –"

"It's fine, just… don't talk about me to her ok? I don't like people knowing my business." She shook her head, running her hands through her hair. She turned to walk back to her apartment, not knowing what else to say to him.

"Hey, no wait." Steve's voice sounded surprised and slightly panicked and he followed her into the hall. He reached for her arm, stopping her in her tracks. "Aurora, _wait_. What happened? I didn't say anything about –"

"Don't touch me." She shrugged her arm out of his grip. "I told you I had a nightmare and you told Holstein. Maybe I should have been explicit and told you I don't talk about that kind of thing with just anyone and I would appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone," she paused to catch her breath. "But I thought it would be self explanatory."

Steve opened his mouth to respond but she didn't let him.

"Do you know how nightmares look to SHIELD, Steve?" She tapped her temple, a scowl on her pretty features. "It looks like a weakness, one that could be exploited or one that could mean I have bigger problems. Ones that might stop me doing my job."

"You're not unstable though, anyone can see that." Steve argued, shaking his head. "Everyone gets nightmares." The words were out of his mouth before he realise he was just repeating the same stuff he'd been told by Aurora and Doctor Holstein.

"Not recurring ones. Not ones that have absolutely no basis or reason." She said. She took a deep breath. "Look, I have to go. Don't worry about tonight, I have… stuff." She waved a hand and backed away from him, swiping her keycard against her keypad and pushing into her suite before he could say anything more.

Steve stood in the hall, pinching his brow in frustration. He stared down at the floor where Rory had just been standing. He wasn't sure what to make of the situation that had just come to pass. She was mad at him, that was for sure and it appeared to be because he mentioned her in his session with Holstein.

But he hadn't told her it was a nightmare.

"You know, you're supposed to put clothes on _before_ leaving your apartment, Cap." Clint's voice filled the hall and Steve turned to look at him.

"Yeah I was uh… Talking to Aurora." Steve said absently, stepping back toward his suite.

"In a towel?" Clint's eyebrow rose. "Nice going man, reel her in with those abs."

"What?" Steve blinked. "Oh." He said when he saw the look Clint was giving him. "No nothing like that. She was mad at me… I don't… know what for though." Steve rubbed the back of his neck. "Something I apparently said to Doctor Holstein, I think."

"Ah Rory can be a bit of a loose canon at times." Clint shrugged, clapping Steve on the shoulder. "One minute she'll be your best friend, the next you've said something stupid and she's pointing her gun at you."

"So exactly like her grandmother then." Steve said dryly. "Perfect."

"I uh, don't get the joke but sure. We'll go with that." Clint nodded. Steve chuckled.

"Remind me to tell you some time. Peggy actually pulled the trigger." He left his hand from the back of his neck and rests it on his hip.

Clint choked out a laugh. "Wow yeah, Rory's never actually shot me but she's lost her temper a fair few times. Give her a couple of hours to calm down and then try and talk to her." He moved past Steve and headed for his door. "But stay shirtless. The shirtless thing works for you, Cap."

Steve's cheeks turned red as he turned back and entered his suite, both confused and slightly annoyed that Rory had lost her temper at him without an explanation.

* * *

Author's Note:

There are small pieces of story in this one that will make sense later. Hope you enjoyed it regardless and thanks for reading. If you like it, comment, like and share please. It really helps get the story out there!

Playlist:

Counting Sheep - Safia

"From now on we are enemies" - Fall Out Boy

Hysteria - Muse


	8. Coincidences Don't Exist

Show Me That You're Human

Chapter 8: Coincidences Don't Exist

*Notes at End*

* * *

"Coulson's funeral is next week."

It only took five words to make Rory feel worse than losing her temper with Steve. She held the door open and ushered her cousin through the door.

"They've announced it already?" She asked as Sharon headed for the couch, her arms loaded with bottles of beer and Doritos. She lowered herself onto it and let out a sigh. Rory sat down beside Sharon, reaching for a bottle, feeling like she'd just swallowed some ice.

"May 15th." Sharon nodded. "It'll be a memorial service since he asked to be cremated. It'll be held on Hart Island."

Rory was silent a moment. "I can't believe he's gone."

"Someone needs to tell Clint and Natasha when it is."

"I'll do it." Rory murmured softly. "It'll be better for them to hear it from me." Especially as the loss was hurting her as much as it was them. Coulson had been her handler at one point; right after Clint had finished his assignment as her S.O. and had become her teammate. Coulson had watched her grow from rookie to full agent and just to think he was gone was too hard to comprehend.

"They're less likely to kill you." Sharon nodded sagely. The women were silent for a moment, Rory trying her hardest not to dwell on her loss. Coulson wouldn't want her to mourn for long.

"So what are you doing tonight? I could do with beer and pizza and not much else." Sharon broke the silence and Rory breathed a sigh of relief.

"Not a lot now. I was supposed to introduce Steve to _Sleeping Beauty_ but then he did something stupid and I canceled." Rory replied, burrowing into the cushions, scowling.

Sharon followed her lead and drew her sock-clad feet up under her body like a cat. "Oh don't rot his brain with that movie, Roar." Sharon rolled her eyes. "What'd Captain Wonderful do?"

"Captain Wonderful?" Rory's eyebrows rose in confusion.

"It's what all the girls are calling him on the helicarrier." Sharon rolled her eyes with a slight grin. "It's either that or Captain Sexy-pants."

"Oh my _god_. How the man hasn't been eaten alive by any of them is beyond me." She snorted, shaking her head.

"Sheer dumb luck and he's only been awake for like, a month?" Sharon offered with a shrug. Rory gave her a look and Sharon sighed. "C'mon, what'd he do? Give me something to tell them to shut them up about him being perfect." She laughed.

Rory's eyes narrowed.

"He mentioned my nightmare to Doctor Holstein, the psychiatrist."

"Oh yeah, I was assigned her too. She seems nice." Sharon nodded. "What else did he do?" The blonde prompted, waiting for her to continue. Rory stared at her.

"Well…Nothing. He mentioned it and she said that she would have to monitor it as it's a sign of 'mental instability'." Rory said, folding her arms across her. "Because it's the recurring one."

Sharon's eyebrows knitted. "So he mentioned something she already knew about to her?"

"Well he mentioned that it happened again last night, yeah." Rory nodded. Sharon burst out laughing.

"You are such a drama queen!" She kicked out a leg to nudge her cousin, catching her in the shin. "Oh god, I bet you yelled at him about it as well, didn't you?"

"I didn't _yell_ but I may have told him to not mention me to his psychiatrist again…" Rory winced. When she said it out loud it sounded awful. She kicked Sharon back. "Stop laughing."

"It's so typical of you. I can't believe you lost your temper on the poor man because of _that_." Sharon didn't stop laughing. "Here I was thinking he'd been _really_ awful and you were just being a damned brat!"

"Well, I did." Rory folded her arms. "Shit like that will keep me stuck as a level 3 agent for the rest of my days." She scowled. She hated that her cousin sounded so right.

"Bullshit. Fury needs you, trust me." Sharon shook her head. "Between Barton and Romanoff working Avengers cases, and all these extra things to cover up with alien tech being recovered he's completely short on good agents."

Rory stood and stretched, walking to the bar fridge. "There are separate Avenger's cases?" She asked, pulling two beers from inside and kicking it shut with her foot. She handed one to Sharon and curled up on the couch again.

"HYDRA and a criminal cell dubbed AIM are using the backlash of the invasion to organize strange things. Alien stuff is being traded all over the world: weapons, body parts, _everything_. Those are the ones the Avenger's get, even though Steve and Tony are still technically just consultants." Sharon took the beer and took a long drag. "But you didn't hear that from me. That's like, level 7 classified."

"Oh sure, Agent 13." Rory rolled her eyes. "I'm technically level 7 anyway."

"I'm sure _Northern_ Lights. It's Fury. He'll care because right now you're in the books as a 3." Sharon shrugged. "Hey, have you heard from Jasper at all?"

There was a knock at the door and Rory looked up.

"Nope. All Natasha could tell me was he was in Tahiti. No idea when he'll be back." She stood and walked to the door. "I'm betting only Fury knows."

"Maybe Arthur and Agent May too."

Rory nodded before she opened the door and found Steve standing there, two giant pizza boxes in his hands.

"I bought pizza." Steve held the boxes out to her, a small smile on his face. "We need to talk. Clint suggested to let you calm down and told me that your favorite pizza toppings are sausage and green peppers so I got two."

Rory's eyes narrowed and she glared at Clint Barton's door for a second. She sighed.

"Come in." She stepped back, letting Steve into her suite. "Have you met my cousin, Sharon, yet?" She closed the door behind him. "She's grandma's niece."

Steve looked over at Sharon sitting on the sofa while he placed the pizza on the small table and Rory could see him studying her intently.

"No, I haven't. It's nice to meet you ma'am." Steve smiled at the blonde, shrugging out of his jacket.

"Nice to meet you too, Captain. Please, just call me Sharon." She took another drink from her bottle. "You wanna join us for beer? I'll share the beer if you share the pizza?" She grinned, tipping her bottle toward him.

Steve chuckled. "That sure does sound swell, ma'am. I just need to talk to Aurora first."

Rory folded her arms across her chest, squirming uncomfortably.

"Oh yeah, about her little drama queen moment?" Sharon rolled her eyes. Steve chuckled and Rory groaned.

"There's nothing to talk about." She shook her head.

"Well, I think there is." Steve shook his head. "You said that Holstein said I told her about your nightmare."

"She said you mentioned me, yes."

"I didn't say a word, other than to say you were awake and in the living room." He peered down at her with wide, blue eyes, his voice ridiculously sincere. Rory swallowed, running a hand through her hair.

"But how did she _know_?" She asked, dropping her hand.

Steve's eyes lingered on her before his broad shoulders shrugged. "I don't know but I swear I only mentioned you were awake." His eyes flicked back to hers. "I told her it wasn't my place to ask. I wouldn't like it if my nightmares were discussed." He cleared his throat and glanced at Sharon. The blonde appeared not to be listening, looking intently at a flashing phone screen.

"Fucking _asshole_ bitch." Rory muttered, causing Steve to snap his gaze back to her. She had a mouth worse than a sailor sometimes. There was only one other woman he knew who swore as much as she did and they happened to be related.

"What?"

"She only had a hunch that I'd had a nightmare, I mean given my history it wasn't a hard guess. She tricked me into admitting it!" Her eyes flashed and she scowled.

Sharon let out a snort, letting them know she was still listening. "You got played like a idiot."

"Shut up." Rory grumbled. "I hate psychologists." Rory hissed, picking up the pizza boxes and grabbing three more beers from the fridge.

"Because they're smarter than you?" Sharon asked innocently. Rory scowled at her, sitting in the middle of the sofa. Steve sat on her other side.

"Because they're sneaky. They manipulate you with how they word things. That's _my_ job!" Rory exclaimed, picking up a slice of pizza. Sharon laughed, shaking her head.

"Could it be that you were more worried your friend had ratted you out?" She asked, reaching for her own slice.

"I would never do that." Steve said, taking the box off of Rory's lap. "Although it's not really ratting out anything bad, it's just a nightmare."

"Oh it's a touchy subject for her." Sharon replied before Rory could. Rory shot her cousin a narrowed-eyed look. Steve could see the resemblance between them.

"SHIELD take things like recurring childhood nightmares pretty seriously, _especially_ when there's no childhood trauma to go with them." She explained to Steve after she swallowed her bite.

"Well I promise you I didn't say a word and I never would." He said again. Rory believed him.

"I believe you." Rory nodded her head. "I'm sorry I flipped out."

"Short fuse, Barton told me." He shrugged. "No harm, no foul."

"Barton really told you a lot, huh?" She elbowed him. Steve just smiled.

"He might have." Steve replied cryptically. "So are you going to introduce me to your favorite movie now?" He smiled and Rory nodded.

"Sleeping Beauty?" She asked, her eyes lighting up. Sharon groaned.

"Don't rot his brain with it, Rory." She sighed, taking a drag of beer. "I'm totally out if you turn that movie on."

Rory stood and went to the small TV against the wall. "Door's that way, feel free to use it." She quipped. Sharon flipped her off.

"She sings, Steve. _Sings_ the Princess Aurora song because it's her _name_." Sharon turned to Steve, her expression pained. Steve laughed.

"The Princess Aurora song?"

"I was five last time I did that." Rory rolled her eyes, sitting back between them again. She brought her beer to her lips and smiled.

"More like twenty-five." Sharon snickered. Rory smacked the back of her hand across her stomach.

"Like I said, door is that way." She pointed to the door with the long, thin, television remote before she pointed it at the TV and pressed play.

* * *

Steve tightened his gloves a little more as he watched the streets of the city stretch past the SUV he, Natasha and Clint had climbed into 20 minutes earlier. They were waiting for the next lot of instructions from H.Q. for a mission they were about to start. All they'd been told, when they'd gotten the call almost 30 minutes ago, was that there was substantial evidence that a HYDRA base had been found an industrial area in upstate New York and they were to proceed there as quickly as possible. He'd been handed an electronic tablet as he'd gotten in the car and everything that was on it was all he knew about the mission.

"I wonder who's our handler for this one." Clint commented, breaking the silence from his spot in the front seat.

"Someone good, I hope." Natasha replied, tucking some hair behind her ears.

"Who is it usually?" Steve asked, slightly confused. He'd only been on one of these missions before and Fury had been the handler on that one.

"Jasper Sitwell but he's indisposed on his own mission at the moment, so we keep getting different people." Nat glanced at him, a small upturn in her lips. "Some of them have been terrible."

"Remember the guy who kept stuttering every time you spoke, Nat?" Clint snorted, shaking his head.

"Yeah, that would have been funny had I not been waist deep in Hydra agents and needing an extraction." Natasha rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"I hear that guy quit on the spot when you got back."

Steve grinned knowing Clint probably wasn't lying about that. The piece he'd pushed into his ear crackled to life and he sat up straighter.

" _Good morning, Agents."_ A familiar voice came down the line and he grinned.

"Aurora?"

" _Agent Dugan if you don't mind, Captain."_ He could hear the smirk in her voice and he chuckled.

"Sorry, _Agent Dugan_." He corrected easily.

"What're you doing here, Dugan?" Clint had the same amused look on his face. Natasha looked infinitely more relieved.

" _I got a call that said I was needed but_ "this in no way means you are reinstated"" She deepened her voice and Steve assumed she was impersonating Fury. He laughed. " _So here I am._ "

"It literally means he's desperate for good agents." Natasha mused. "Sitwell is still away and the last guy almost got me killed."

"He hardly almost got you killed, Nat." Clint snickered. Natasha gave him a look and Steve was impressed with Clint's ability to shrug it off. That look would have had anyone else wetting their pants.

" _Alright so I should probably explain the mission but I'm assuming you've read the mission brief…"_

"Assuming we haven't…" Clint interrupted and Steve heard the sigh of exasperation Rory let out.

" _A HYDRA cell has managed to get their hands on Chitauri tech from the clean up crews. We're pretty sure they were posing as the clean up crews –"_

"But the only people who were on the clean up were SHIELD and the feds…" Natasha frowned down at the electronic tablet in her hands.

" _Yet they posed as them. Their IDs are in the file but for Barton's sake I'll run through them quickly… Looks like you guys have a bit of traffic ahead and we can't divert you because we want this to be stealth."_ Steve heard the tapping of keys and then his own tablet screen changed. " _Klause Voorhees and Leopold Stryke. Both have major criminal records but haven't been in jail for sometime._ "

"What the hell happened to his head?" Clint exclaimed, his eyes wide. His surprised echoed both Natasha's and Steve's from earlier, when they'd both read the brief. Steve struggled to look away from the grotesque image of a half man-half-snake that was peering up at him from the tablet.

"You really haven't looked at this brief have you?" Natasha shot him another look, which again, he shrugged off like it was nothing.

"It's why I keep working with you, I don't need to read the brief with you." Clint winked and Natasha rolled her eyes.

" _It's a –_ "

"Cobra head?" Steve asked, disbelief still colouring his tone as he peered at the humanoid face set into a snake head. "That's a mask, right?"

" _Afraid not. Voorhees was bitten by an irradiated cobra in a lab where he worked. It changed him into this."_ The image on the tablets changed to several different ones of the cobra head forming. It was like some grotesque horror movie, a man changing to a beast. Steve had seen some things in his day but this was really up there.

"How'd he get through clean up crew inspection?" Natasha's nose was wrinkled in disgust.

" _Either he skipped it or he had something covering his head, a religious item maybe? Could have even been a hoodie. Point is, he was there and he stole something."_ Rory replied. " _He's been off the grid for a while, both of them have but now apparently they're back."_

"The temptation of the tech is too good." Natasha muttered.

" _Or they've been hired by Hydra to steal for them. They've both been on Hydra's books before. Petty things but still there none the less."_

"Hey maybe was wearing a hockey mask…" Clint piped up with a grin. "He can be Jason 2.0."

"Why?" Steve replied, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Is Jason related to him?"

"We'll tell you later." Natasha sighed, her glare perpetually aimed at Clint. "Are they working with anyone else? Hydra never have only two men to a cell."

" _We believe there are probably more but we can't get a lock on them. Neither Voorhees or Stryke are smart enough to run an operation like this_." Rory replied, ignoring Clint's snickering.

"What's Stryke's deal?" Natasha asked, shifting in her seat. "His file is kind of sparse."

"He's a horror movie villain, Cap. Runs around with a hockey mask and –"

" _Leopold Stryke worked as a marine biologist at the New Jersey Aquarium until he was arrested for several jewelry store robberies. As you can see he's been in and out of jail and he likes to wear an electrified suit._ " An image of the suit flashed up on their screens. " _Calls himself the Eel. That's about all we have on him_."

"Oh real creative." Steve rolled his eyes.

"He kills any teenagers who stay at Camp Crystal Lake with a machete and has serious mommy –"

" _CLINT_!" Rory snapped, finally annoyed with her former S.O.

"Sorry, Chief." Clint jerked in his seat, his eyes finding the tablet in his hand. He cleared his throat.

"Time and place, Barton." Natasha shook her head.

" _I'm sending schematics of the building we believe they're in and the surrounding ones. It's your call how you wanna play this one, Cap."_ Rory continued like nothing had happened.

"You have eyes on us, yeah?" Clint asked. Steve heard the tapping of keys again.

" _There are some CCTV cameras in the area, I'm gonna be using them and the tracker chips in your suits to keep eyes on you but I won't be able to see you. I have your vitals and your voices and nothing else."_ She assured them. " _I'll do what I can from here."_

"Right, sounds good Agent Dugan." Steve replied and he heard her laugh. The coms went silent after that and he cast his eyes back to the tablet in his hands.

HYDRA hadn't died out like it was supposed to have done back when he was around. Apparently it was still alive and kicking and SHIELD was doing all they could to keep them at bay.

"Really Clint, your dumb horror movie shit, _now_?" Natasha hissed at her partner, pushing her tablet to one side. Clint turned to look at her and shrugged.

"What! You can't tell me you didn't think it too." He grinned.

"Time and place." Natasha repeated.

"So Voorhees is a horror character?" Steve asked, planting his elbows on his knees as they slowed in traffic again.

" _He's part of a series from the 80s._ " Rory's voice came back on the line. " _Classic horror_."

"So like Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, Son of Frankenstein?" Steve asked.

" _They're a little bit more horrifying these days, but yeah, like that_." Rory replied " _We'll add it to your list anyway_."

"List?" He asked, eyebrows raised. He sat back in his seat and glanced out of the window. They had to be getting close now. "I have a list, do I?"

" _Yup, I'm making on in my head_. Things Steve Needs to Catch Up On." She cleared her throat. " _Alright, you're about 3 minutes out. The front entrance looks like a mechanics workshop so you'll need to get in, maybe through the back? Like I said Cap, it's your call_."

Steve nodded and turned to his team. "Barton, you're probably best off going in through the front. Take this car, say you're having engine problems."

"Why me?"

"Because they're more likely to know mine and Natasha's faces than they are yours." Steve pointed out. Clint nodded.

"Fair call. You do have a pretty distinctive jaw."

Steve smirked slightly and turned to Natasha. "We're going in through the back. There're two entrances here and here." He pointed on his tablet. "They're probably going to be heavily guarded but it's our best shot. Hopefully Clint can keep some of them occupied in the meantime."

" _You're about a street away now so you can either proceed on foot or drive up. Driver is going to retreat back to an extraction point now."_ The car came to a stop and the driver, who Steve never actually met, stepped out and disappeared down the block.

"We might jog round the back, just in case." Natasha placed her hand on the door and waited for Steve to give her the ok. He nodded and she slid out of the car.

"I'll drive. Good thing I bought a jacket to cover my gear…" Clint slid across the front seat to sit behind the wheel. "Be careful." He said as Natasha passed the window.

She touched his arm and nodded, not looking back at him.

Steve followed Nat down a slip lane to get to the back of the warehouses they needed to be behind.

"So what else is on the list?" he asked Rory as he and Nat walked.

" _You'll find out in due time, Captain. It's all important, I promise."_ She assured him. Steve checked the map that appeared on his phone. A small purple dot signaled Clint was at the front of the mechanics now. " _Clint's in position_."

On the same line he could hear Clint talking to someone, presumably the mechanic about how his car was making funny noises. There was something different about his accent, Steve noted. It sounded a little more country than it had before.

"That's our cue." Natasha murmured and broke into a jog. It didn't take either of them long to reach the back lot of the warehouse. It backed onto the river. "I'm not seeing any security."

"Neither am I… Aurora?"

" _Nothing on the cameras. Hasn't been for a long time."_ Rory spoke. " _Also, if you do find Voorhees don't let him spit on you."_

"Spit?"

" _He can spit venom apparently. It'll burn like acid and give you nerve damage."_

" _Yeblya der'mo_ " Natasha swore in Russian.

" _U vas yest' eto pravo_ " Rory responded absently.

"Didn't know you spoke Russian." Steve murmured lightly as they crept up to the door.

" _There're probably a lot of things you don't know about me, Cap."_

"You know a lot about me."

" _That I do."_

" _Hardly seems fair_." His voice dropped a bit as he and Natasha flanked either side of the door.

" _Why don't you make a list of things you want to know and I'll trade you_." She suggested.

"Deal." Steve nodded. "Alright, we're heading in."

" _Be safe_."

He nodded at Natasha and she stepped in front of the door, placing her boot firmly on the weakest point and kicking forward. The door swung in and Nat darted inside, gun raised and eyes keen.

Steve was right behind her, his own gun up and his SHIELD high.

"Clear!" Natasha called.

Steve's eyes swept over the almost empty warehouse. "Clear." He called back.

"Looks like there used to be something here…" Natasha said, lowering her gun slightly to kick at a piece of broken table.

"Cleared out in a hurry?" Steve asked.

"Maybe. Barton, how are you doing up front?" Nat placed her finger to her ear and waited for him to respond.

" _Well they can't see the car today…_ "

"Because there's no mechanic here today." Steve replied. "This warehouse is empty."

"Steve!" Natasha called and Steve turned in time to see her sprinting toward something. A figure was darting away through a door on the far side and Steve started after them. "It's Voorhees."

"You sure?" Steve asked as he took a right, trying to get in front of the reptile man.

"Cobra head kind of gives it away!"

Steve skidded around a corner, slamming into the wall opposite and came to a clean stop as something long, hard and electrified clipped him around the shoulders.

His torso tingled and he opened his eyes in time to see the length of steel coming toward his head. It reverberated off his shield and he pushed the attacker back, pinning them against the wall.

"Found Stryke."

" _Detain him, Clint and I have Voorhees_." Natasha replied.

Stryke grinned, showing a row of pointed teeth.

"Captain America." He chuckled, letting out a breath that smelled fetid and rotten. "I want to say this is a surprise but it's not."

Steve sneered and ducked as a fist shot out toward him.

They fought, Steve surprised at the strength the slim man actually had before he bounced his shield off the wall and knocked him out with a blow to the back of the head.

"Stryke has been detained." He strapped his shield to his back and looked down at the unconscious man. "What the hell did he mean by not a surprise?"

" _Good question, Cap."_

"I'm gonna go have a quick look around. He's not getting up for a while." Steve nudged the limp body with the toe of his boot before he turned back to the warehouse.

It was clear something had been here before. Something big with lots of people… but now there was nothing except rubbish and leftovers. It felt like whoever had been here left in a hurry. Rubbish and debris littered the floor but there was nothing of great importance around.

"I get the feeling they knew we were coming." Steve spoke to no one in particular.

" _What do you mean_?" Rory replied.

"The place is clean. There were three people here, hardly enough for a secret Hydra location." He popped his helmet off, rubbing the back of his head. "But it feels like they left in a hurry."

" _They couldn't have known_." Rory disagreed. Steve could hear tapping again. " _It's impossible for them to know."_

"Well either they were moving anyway _or_ they had a big tip off. The place is clean."

A flashing red light caught Steve's eye and he walked over to it. It was a simple black box, the Hydra logo printed on the side. A cord ran from the back of the box to the underside of the table and Steve leant down to inspect it.

"BOMB!" He yelled, choking as he scrambled to get away from the flashing red numbers that read 6 seconds remaining. "CLEAR OUT! BOMB!"

He sprinted as far as he could but the world went silent as the bomb exploded behind him.

Steve coughed, his lungs filling with smoke and soot with every breath he tried to take. The blast had ripped a hole in the warehouse and had ignited some kind of fuel that had an inferno blazing around him.

He pulled himself to his feet and tapped his coms. "Hello? Tasha, Clint? Come in?"

The silence made his insides curl and he coughed again, stumbling back toward where he'd come from.

He rounded the corner and stopped short when he saw the perfect bullet hole through Stryke's head. Someone had been here and recently because blood was still dripping down the wall.

He raised his shield and pulled out his gun.

"Tasha?" He yelled. "Clint?" He eased around a fallen beam and continued on through the warehouse.

"Over here, Cap!" He heard Clint yell out. He started jogging toward them. "What the hell was that?"

"That was a bomb."

"Two. There was one this side too." Clint coughed and rubbed a nasty scrape across his cheek. "Awh, hell." He grumbled and shook his head. "Tasha is through there…"

The sound of a gun made them both jump and they sprinted toward the sound.

"TASHA!" Clint yelled, seeing his partner in a heap on the floor. Beside her lay Voorhees, the perfect bullet hole in his head just like Stryke. Steve ran to the door that lead to the outside world and caught a glimpse of someone ducking around the building. He wanted to go after them but Clint's voice stopped him.

"Steve, she's bleeding…"

He turned back to Clint and found him cradling Nat in his lap. "'S not that bad, Barton." Natasha croaked. "He clocked me good around the head though. Fuck. Guy from behind the counter I think." She muttered, her hand coming up to her head.

"Is your catsuit smoking?" Steve frowned and knelt down beside her. He took her arm in his hand and felt something slick on the fabric. "What is…"

"Venom. He spit on me… Wipe your hands quick." Natasha grabbed his hand and rubbed his fingers on a dry part of her suit. Already Steve's skin was tingling and he frowned. "It's eating through the sleeve."

"I got it." Clint said as he took out his knife and cut up the soft seam of the Kevlar. He peeled it away from her skin and wiped her arm. "You good?"

"Headache but I'm good." Natasha nodded. She wrapped an arm around Clint's shoulders and he hauled her to her feet. "We should get out of here. I have no coms."

"I got nothing either." Steve tapped his ear. "Hopefully extraction came running when the place blew."

There was a faint wailing in the distance as emergency services made their way to the scene. "C'mon, lets move." Steve grunted, giving one last glance at Voorhees body.

* * *

Her agents had been dark for 45 minutes and counting and Rory paced around the basement parking lot like a caged lion. Somehow all communications in and out of the tower had ceased the exact moment Steve had yelled about a bomb. Stark had been trying to fix it, but being in Malibu and not being able to see what the exact problem was had proven to be difficult even for the tech genius. So Rory had had to wait and hope that extraction had gotten her agents out of there as soon as the bomb blast had happened and they were on their way back now.

"Any word, Jarvis?" She asked the AI again.

" _None, Agent Dugan._ " Jarvis replied and she let out a frustrated sigh. She continued to pace, cursing technology while she watched the clock.

She paused, her ears picking up the sound of the industrial doors opening. She held her breath and then let it out in a relieved whoop as two Escalades pulled to a stop in front of her.

"Hey Dugan." Clint greeted her first with a smile and a nod as he hauled himself from the car. "What the hell happened there?"

"That's what we're trying to find out." Rory replied, a shaky laugh escaping her lips. They were alive and in one piece. She didn't know if the mission had been a success or not but they were alive and she hadn't gotten them killed.

"Trying to find out?" Natasha said, a groan escaping her lips as she slammed the door behind her. "What does that even mean?"

"All tech inside the building died the moment you alerted us to a bomb." Rory explained, her eyes looking through the windows of the car at the tall figured who'd just emerged.

"How does that even happen?" Natasha scowled, leaning her back against the side of the car.

"That's what Stark is trying to find out." Rory said, eyeing her team critically. They stood in front of her, looking battered and smoke stained but alive. Clint was bleeding from a wound on his arm and Natasha was holding her head, half of the sleeve of her suit also missing, exposing red-raw skin. "You three need to go to medical before we debrief."

She was met with a cacophony of protests and she held her hand up to silence them. " _No_ arguments."

Steve laughed as she turned on her heel and pressed the elevator call button.

"You do the orders thing as well as your grandmother." He said and she glanced up at him with a smirk.

"She taught me well." She smiled. "Are you ok?"

"Ringing in my ears and my side hurts, other than that I'm fine." He assured her. "You worried about me?"

"Only to the point that I would hate to have been the one to get Captain America killed." She quipped and he laughed, stepping into the elevator beside her. "Are you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine. All boom and no real bang." He tried to sound assuring but Rory could hear the exhaustion in his tone.

Rory shook her head. "I hate being on coms. I couldn't help you."

"You'd rather be out there with us and getting blown up?" Steve chuckled.

She looked up at him with a smirk as the elevator doors opened into the med bay. "Would I be Dugan's granddaughter if I didn't?" She asked as she stepped into the room to organize some help.

Steve watched her go, knowing that she wouldn't have been Peggy _or_ Dugans' granddaughter if she didn't want to be out in the field.

They spent almost an hour in medical, much to Natasha's frustration, before Rory ushered them to the office for debriefing. Clint, of course, complained the entire way.

"I feel like I've been hit by a truck… can't we debrief tomorrow?" He whined as they all took seats.

"Stop being a baby, Clint. Fury wants this information today." Natasha sighed, shaking her head.

"He'll be here in 5." Rory said, pressing buttons on the glass tabletop and still not getting anything to happen. "I really hope Tony's able to fix whatever the hell happened to his tower."

"I'm surprised Stark didn't get in his Ironman suit and zoom here faster." Clint chuckled, slouching into his seat his feet on the table.

"Maybe it's down too?" Rory asked.

Steve murmured in agreement, running a hand through his hair.

"It's strange to see Steve with messy hair." Rory commented, watching him from across the table.

"My hair gets messy." He assured her, fighting the urge to flatten the hair that he knew was sticking up at sweat-soaked angles.

"When? I'm betting it's always tidy, even in the bedroom." She replied with a smirk. Clint let out a snort. The tips of Steve's ears turned red but he didn't rise to her teasing.

"You volunteering to mess it up, Dugan?" The archer grinned, ducking as she swung her hand to slap him lightly across the chest.

"No!" She exclaimed with a laughed. Steve glanced at her and caught her eye. "Although it could be fun." She winked, enjoying the flush that was now creeping up from his neck.

"You're –"

"She's teasing you. You make it too easy for her, Cap." Clint hooted, clapping him on the shoulder.

The door opened and Rory looked up to find Fury walking toward them.

"I do not, I just don't expect comments like that from a lady." Steve sniffed indignantly, his lips twitching in a smirk as stood to salute their director.

"Oh I haven't even started on you yet. _Fondue_ is probably my favourite euphemism ever." Rory's quip was short and quiet but Steve stared at her a moment before he burst out laughing. Clint and Natasha stared at him like he'd grown an extra head. They'd never seen the Captain laugh so hard.

"I'm definitely missing something here." Natasha muttered as Fury came to a stop in front of them.

"Can anyone tell me what the hell just happened?" He demanded with a powerful gaze, making the four fall silent.

"We're unsure of that ourselves, director." Clint said finally. "It seems like they were tipped off."

"Tipped off?"

"The place was clean, Fury." Steve said, taking his seat again. "It looked like it was cleared in a hurry too but there was nothing there. They knew we were coming."

"They couldn't have known you were going." Fury argued but Rory shook her head.

"All tech inside Stark Tower went down the same time I heard Steve mention the bomb and it went off. This feels too much like a setup." Rory said, sitting forward in her seat.

"All tech?"

"All of it. Communications and visuals. I was blind there for a lot of it." She admitted, wondering if this would impact on her being reinstated. "I got Tony onto it right away. We're still waiting to hear back from him as he's in Malibu at the moment."

"I want him back here, _now_. He assured us this place was impenetrable." Fury demanded and Rory nodded.

"He's on his way."

"It's impenetrable if they're not already inside, Fury." Natasha spoke up finally. Fury dropped his gaze to her and Natasha didn't bat an eyelid. "How else would they have known we were coming?"

"So you're suggesting we have a mole?" Clint's eyebrows disappeared into his hairline. "A Hydra mole in _SHIELD_?"

"They've tried crazier things before." Natasha shrugged.

Fury paced back and forth and Rory recognized his nerves. She didn't blame him. Hydra inside SHIELD was a very serious allegation; even if there was a chance it wasn't true it was still something to worry about.

"I thought this mission was off the records because it was a Strike Team mission." Rory said softly.

"Nothing is off the records, Dugan. You know that." Natasha shook her head, smiling bitterly. "It's a distinct possibility though, we have to cover all bases."

Fury grunted and paced back and forth in front of the table.

"When Stark gets here we'll know more, for now we keep this to this room." Fury looked frustrated and Rory could understand why. "There is a chance that this was a coincidence but –"

"Coincidences don't exist in this world." Steve and Rory muttered together. They glanced at each other knowingly. Dugan's words of wisdom stuck, it seemed.

"This stays between us." Fury said seriously. "I want background checks on every staff member we have as of 1100 hours." Fury looked at Rory. "This is your new job. It's highly classified and you tell no one, understood?"

"Yes sir." She nodded seriously.

"I want to minimise the amount of people who know about this. I also want you to use your private laptop and hack into our system." Fury continued.

Rory frowned. "Sir?"

"If they got this information then they may be looking at everything we access from the SHIELD database." Fury explained and Rory understood immediately. "If they see you pulling every file, they may delete theirs."

"But if I hack from mine there's a chance I could go unnoticed." She nodded in agreement. "I'll get right on it."

"Highly classified, understood?"

"I may need Stark's help since it is his system…" She pointed out and Fury let out a sigh. "I will make sure he stays quiet. I'm sure he'd hate word getting out that StarkTech is easy to hack…" She smiled knowingly and for a heartbeat Fury looked impressed.

"Do what needs to be done." He nodded before he left, ending the debriefing. Rory let out a sigh. She stood and the four agents walked for the door.

"Wait until Stark finds out his precious system was probably hacked." Clint laughed as they headed for the elevator again.

"You should have heard him on the phone. I've never heard so many creative swear words come from his mouth before." Rory snickered, running a hand through her hair.

"I have, when he was told Coulson was his babysitter and he wasn't allowed to leave his Malibu mansion." Natasha smirked. "He'll probably come back here and stomp around like a kid having a tantrum."

The elevator dinged and they all stepped in, heading for the same floor. "As long as he doesn't bother me, I am fine." Clint rubbed the back of his neck and selected their floor. "I'm gonna take a hot shower and sleep like the dead. You staying with me tonight?" He placed a hand on the nape of Natasha's neck and massaged gently.

"I need someone to make sure I don't slip into a coma thanks to this concussion so yes." She nodded, her head dropping back and her eyes closing.

"Add 'you have to do paper work' to do to that list and that sounds like a great plan. It's what I'll be doing for the night anyway." Rory agreed.

"What paper work?" Clint groaned.

"The paper work we _always_ do after a mission." Rory rolled her eyes at him.

"You mean the paper work that usually takes me a week to hand in?" He grinned and ran a hand through his hair. "The paperwork you're going to have to chase me for because it's your job now. That paperwork?"

"I have Darcy to do the chasing now. She's good at it. She threatened Ward with her taser the other day. It was glorious." Rory smiled triumphantly. Steve let out a snort.

"A taser. Why does she have a taser?" He asked.

"I don't know, never asked. She used it on Thor when they first found him though, so she's pretty good with it." Rory shrugged a shoulder. Natasha laughed.

"Oh I think I'll like this girl." She grinned.

"You will. She's definitely something else and she's a big fan of yours." Rory nodded knowingly. Natasha grinned, delighted.

"Well you can send Darcy my way any time you want." Clint grinned again. Rory rolled her eyes, stepping out of the elevator and digging through her pockets for her key. She looked up at Steve as they started to peel off to their respective apartments.

"What about you, what are your plans?" She asked.

"Cook some dinner and catch up on the last 70 years? The usual really." Steve replied, digging into a pocket on his suit for his key.

"You cook?" Clint and Rory said at the same time, both sounding equally shocked at the revelation. Steve ducked his head.

"I cook a bit. I lived alone before the serum so I had to cook sometimes." He replied, rubbing the bridge of his nose. It wasn't something he usually advertised but his mother had taught him before she'd passed and it was something he enjoyed doing.

"What are you cooking?" Rory asked sounding impressed. Steve smiled.

"Why don't you find out?" He asked casually. She returned his smile, her eyes shining.

"Sure. I'll be over around 7?" She walked to her door, still facing him.

"Sounds good. Clint, Nat?" He turned to the archer and the assassin who were staring at Steve with grinning eyes.

"Dude, that was so smooth. I don't want to ruin your chances of getting your hair messed up." Clint looked over his shoulder at Steve with a grin.

"I… that's not my… I…" Steve stumbled on his words, looking at Rory in a slight panic. He didn't want her to get the wrong idea. He was being clever before. Funny. His humour never usually backfired like this – then again his humour was never usually directed at a woman.

"Yeah, we'll make sure we put on a _really_ loud movie…" Natasha grinned wickedly and Rory laughed.

"That's not what I was –" Steve stumbled, relieved Rory was laughing as she opened her door.

"See you at 7, Steve." Rory said, her door closing behind her. Steve looked at Clint and Natasha, narrowing his eyes.

"Really?" He asked them, shaking his head.

"Too easy man." Clint laughed, disappearing into his own apartment. Steve sighed. He blushed far too easily for his liking.

"It's good to see you loosening up, Rogers." Natasha winked, the door closing behind her.

* * *

Author's Note:

So the whole 'mole in SHIELD' thing I literally thought of waaaaaay before AoS or Cap2. Like I have date stamped drafts of this and I am so proud. This really ties into the second story. This timeline is as close as I could make it to canon without fucking things up so bare with me. I'll be adding a 'things that are different' thread to my blog in a couple of days. I'll like you all soon.

Again, thanks for reading. Please like, comment, share with people, ect to help me out.

Playlist:

Spitfire - Prodigy

Can't Kill Us - The Glitch Mob

The Vulture - Pendulum


	9. Specifically, Cats

Show Me That You're Human

Chapter 9: Specifically Cats

* * *

It had been a long time since Steve had been this content with life. Even before he went under there had always been the stress and constant hum of war. He'd never gotten a chance to appreciate the quiet life he'd had before this body. It wasn't that his life was quiet now, no it was almost the opposite after today – it was just that he'd never been able to appreciate little things before and now he could. There wasn't a war going on so downtime had been filled with music and books and things he had missed during the war and his big freeze.

He entertained himself for the minute, as the blood and soot swirled down the drain in his shower, with the thought of what his life would have been like if he'd never been frozen. Would he and Peg have had a small house with a white fence and a dog? Would they have stayed on at SHIELD and gone on to lead the agency together? Would Rory be his granddaughter?

He scoffed at the last thought. Rory was far too pretty to be his granddaughter. Far too hot-headed to have ever shared his genes. It's what made her _her,_ he supposed. Dugan's nature was more prominent in her and he liked that. He was happy about that. She wasn't a constant reminder of Peg even if they were related. He was also happy that Peggy had been happy and had gotten her family. Rory was living proof of that too.

It actually gave him hope that he'd find that one-day too.

The positivity of the thought shocked Steve.

He hadn't thought like that since before he woke up and Peggy was the focus of positive thoughts. For the first time since he'd awoken, 9 long weeks ago, that he was positive about something. A smile spread across his face at the hope that filled him.

The idea of meeting someone did terrify Steve. He wasn't good at talking to women. He tripped over his tongue and stumbled on his words, often saying the wrong thing and offending them. Modern women especially intimidated him, with how liberated they were and how completely different they thought and acted. Not to mention he was exceptionally attracted to strong-minded women and they were usually the ones that made him lose his tongue.

But it would happen one day, as he'd been talking to Doctor Holstein about and when it did maybe he'd be ok with it happened.

Maybe. He'd just have to wait and see.

The smell of the Bolognese that's he'd started cooking before his shower wafted into his bathroom and he turned the taps off, stepping out and drying off before he went back to the kitchen.

He was just throwing pasta onto boil when Rory knocked at his door.

"Open." He called over his shoulder, tightening his grip on the towel wrapped around his waist. He glanced at the stove clock and saw she was early.

"I'm kind of jealous you have an actual apartment and I have the equivalent of a hotel room." Rory's voice filled the kitchen. Steve glanced over his shoulder and smiled, catching her standing and peering around, dressed in black, skin-tight pants and a loose fitted yellow top. He hair was out and slightly damp drying in light waves, signalling she hadn't been long out of the shower either. "You have a proper kitchen. I totally got the raw end of the deal!"

"It's not huge." He chuckled, turning back to the stove. "Nothing fancy."

"It's enough." She sighed. "Oooh can I touch it!?" Her voice filled with glee and Steve had to look around again to know what she was talking about.

He found her eyeing his shield and he laughed.

"Sure. " He nodded. "Not like you can break it."

He turned to face her, watching as she slipped her arm into the grips and lift it easily. It made her look tiny in comparison, like a child playing with a toy. It was a nice sight.

He smiled as she straightened and held it in front of her.

"How do I look?" She asked proudly.

"You're not quite holding it right." He placed the spoon down, licking some sauce off his thumb as he walked to her. "You gotta hold it higher." He lifted her arm. "Tighten across here." He flattened his hand in the middle of her back, making her pull her shoulder blades back and down.

"It's a lot lighter than it looks." She commented, glancing at him. The grin was still in place as she slowly mimed fending off someone with the shield. She all but disappeared behind it. He thought it looked great.

"It's very deceptive." He agreed, smiling. Something on the stove hissed at them and he hurried back into the kitchen.

"Something smells good. I bought a bottle of wine, by the way. I don't even know if you drink it, but I can't come empty handed." He heard the clunk of his shield softly hitting the wall.

"Oh great." He said, nodding. "Yeah I do drink it, even if it does nothing." He chuckled. He felt her move into the kitchen and turned to find her opening and closing cupboards in the search for glasses. "This one." He cocked his head to the left, indicating the cupboard beside him.

She grinned and bumped him with her hip as she opened the door, rising up on her toes to reach the glasses.

"So do you make it a habit to cook in just a towel or is this something special for me?" She teased as she placed the glasses on the counter, pouring the golden liquid into them with an impish grin on her face.

Steve's hand went to his towel to make sure it was tightly attached to his body. "You're early." He defended, his cheeks flushing. "You weren't meant to be here for another 20."

"I got bored." She shrugged, bringing the wine up to her lips. He didn't miss her eyes lingering on his torso and he dutifully peered down at the bubbling sauce on the stove in front of him.

Rory tore her eyes away. Her imagination hadn't done him justice since the last time she'd seen him shirtless. Of course, last time she'd been mad at him and she hadn't been paying attention to his chest.

"Food smells amazing." She commented as she walked to the breakfast bar to take a seat.

"My Mother's recipe, when we could afford the ingredients." He smiled. "It's almost done." He licked his finger and Rory couldn't believe the sight was so sinful.

"You should probably put on some pants." She pointed out, taking another big sip of wine.

"At least." He grinned, retreated into his room.

She shook her head. The man had a sense of humour she hadn't been prepared for. It was dry and a tad cynical and just a little bit dirty. She liked it.

Her phone trilled in her pocket and she dug it out, welcoming the distraction.

"Hey Mags." She greeted her sister with a smile.

" _Hi honey, just a quick phone call to ask what you're doing next Saturday night?_ " Maggie asked. Rory's smile turned to a frown.

"No idea considering it's only Tuesday… Why? Are you coming to town?"

" _No, no I wish."_ There was a pause that Rory didn't much like. _"I have a friend heading to New York –_ "

"No." Rory said immediately. She knew where this was going. The friend was most likely male, single and a " _really nice guy_ ". It wasn't the first time Maggie had set her up like this.

" _and I want you to meet him_."

"No." Rory shook her head again.

" _Please Roar? He's nice! He's a civil defence attorney whose been asked to handle insurance claims from the invasion."_ Maggie barrelled on, ignoring Rory's protests.

"No, Mags. I don't want to meet him."

" _Too bad. I already told him Saturday night was a go."_

Rory groaned and pressed her palm to her head. "Maggie, why?! You can call him right now and tell him I'm busy!"

" _But you're not!"_

"But I might be!" She glanced at Steve's closed bedroom door and she wondered what Steve was doing that night. "I don't want to go on _another_ blind date, Mags."

" _You need to find someone, Rory. You can't live your life with your head in your job!"_ Maggie said, sticking with the tried and tested 'ticking clock' argument. _"Simon is really nice. He's 36, tall, brown-ish hair, brown eyes – "_

"36?"

"Ish."

Rory groaned. "Maggie that's 10 years older than me!"

" _Age is just a number…_ " Maggie chimed. " _Oh dear, look at that. I have to go… I'll text you the details and pass your number along. Bye babe."_

"Maggie, no! Don't you dare… You text him right now and –" She groaned as the line went dead. "Shit." She swore, scowling at her phone.

"Anything the matter?" Steve's voice made her jump. She hadn't heard him re-emerge from his room. She noted, with slight disappointment, that he had put on a tight, white shirt as well as a pair of grey sweat pants.

"Nothing, just my lousy sister setting me up on a blind date." She rolled her eyes as he passed by her to flick the stove off and reach for dishes to serve the food.

"Ah Bucky used to set me up on them all the time. The looks on the poor girls faces when they saw a 4ft-nothing kid who could potentially break in the wind were both heartbreaking and annoying." Steve gave her a sympathetic smile. "However you're a beautiful woman and he'd be crazy to give you that look."

Rory snorted and shook her head, bringing her glass up to her lips for a sip of wine. "Maggie's a lawyer and all her lawyer friends are completely boring and usually old." Rory rolled her eyes. Steve watched her, waiting for her to continue.

He slid a bowl toward her and made himself comfortable on the other side of her at the breakfast bar. "She's always telling me my 'clock is ticking'" She quoted with her fingers, "That 'it's about time I settled down and found a man'." She felt another eye roll coming so she stuck some food into her mouth. "Oh wow." She said around it as she chewed. "This is amazing."

"Thanks." Steve chuckled, twirling pasta around his fork. "What does she mean 'clock's ticking'?"

"She thinks I'm never going to settle down and find someone. I don't see it as a big deal but family is important to Maggie, so is making your own family… I just…" Rory sighed and shrugged a shoulder as she trailed off.

"Well, sure it's important. I want nothing more than to have what your grandparents and my old friends have; a house, a family, coupl'a kids…" Steve clenched and unclenched his jaw at the thought she'd had it without him. He chewed thoughtfully for a second. "But there's no sense in rushing it. It'll happen when it happens."

"Yes!" Rory exclaimed. "Thank you!" She ate another couple of bites before she spoke again. "She worries about me, I guess. I'm the baby and my past relationship history isn't so hot, so I guess she thinks I've given up completely – which isn't the case I don't _think…_ I'm just cautious." Cautious was one word for it. 'Guarded' was another.

Steve turned his head and watched as she stared at the forkful of food hovering about her bowl. "Cautious?" He prompted, wondering what she meant.

Rory let out a small groan. "My last boyfriend was kind of an asshole." She said simply, not wanting to elaborate. "It didn't end overly great and, I've been single for a while." She sighed, shaking her head. "I guess I'm just cautious of jumping into something that serious with someone again because it fucking hurt when it crashed and burned around me." Rory stuck some more food in her mouth, making herself stop talking.

Steve watched her silently, taking in her sad yet somewhat frustrated expression. He felt for her, he really did. Being pushed into things was generally a bad situation, but being pushed into something you really weren't ready for was a different story. He'd been in that position more than once and it was uncomfortable to say the least.

"I've never had a girl to call my own, so I guess I know how you feel with the apprehension about getting into something serious." Steve said after a few beats of silence. "I mean, I've been on dates. Mostly they were doubles with Bucky and the dames weren't interested in me in the slightest but I guess I was more interested in getting into the army than settling down. Figured there was no rush."

"and there's not." Rory agreed. "I think you overestimate how shallow women were." Rory chuckled, glad the focus was off her past relationship. "I don't think you looked bad at all."

"You never saw me in the flesh. I wasn't great. Dames want a man who can protect them, who can provide for them. I almost passed out climbing a flight of stairs thanks to my asthma." Steve shook his head, still not really believing how much had changed about his body.

"What if you'd come across a dame who could have taken care of herself?" Rory propped her head up on her hand and looked at him.

"You didn't find many of those around in the 40's ma'am. Not to be disrespectful, but women in the 40s were nothing like they are today." He shook his head, meeting her eye easily.

"Grandma Peg was one of them."

"Peg was an anomaly." Steve chuckled.

"and she was infatuated with you before the serum."

"She hid it well."

Rory shook her head, taking another sip of wine. He phone buzzed in front of her and she groaned.

 _Hi Rory, It's Simon. Maggie gave me your number. Looking forward to Saturday night!_

"Hypothetically speaking, if I murdered my sister would you help me cover it up?" She glanced at him, giving him a light smile.

Steve chuckled. "Well, sure I guess. What's happened?"

" _Simon_ has my number. Maggie must have given it to him." She slid the phone across to him so he could read the message.

Steve picked up the phone and read the words on the bright screen.

"Can you tell him you're just not interested?" He held the phone out to her. She took it, her fingers sliding against his.

"Maggie would kill me and I'd never hear the end of it. _You're so ungrateful Rory, I set this up for you. Simon is my friend!_ " She mimicked her sister, pulling a face. "It's honestly easier to go along with it and then let him down myself."

She put the phone down after she tapped out a quick reply. "Enough texting, I'm sorry it's rude."

"It's fine. I'm coming to understand technology like that is important to people these days." Steve glanced at his own phone, sitting uselessly on the benchtop beside his keys.

"Yeah and Pa tells me constantly that's the problem." Rory laughed and stood, picking up her plate and stacking it on Steve's empty one. He made a move to grab them back but she swung them out of his way. "You cooked, I clean."

"You're a guest." Steve protested, standing and following her around the bar to the kitchen.

"I'm a neighbour." She shook her head, placing the dishes in the sink and turning the tap on. "All I'm doing is rinsing them and putting them in the dishwasher."

"The what?" Steve frowned, leaning his hip against the counter beside her. He folded his arms as he watched her.

Rory knocked him out of the way with her hip. She chuckled when she only reached his upper thigh and not his actual hip, and when he didn't actually move an inch. He stepped back anyway, smiling lightly.

"The big, shiny metal thing down here that washes your dishes for you." She pulled open the draw and stacked the plates.

"Oh is _that_ what it does?" Steve scratched the back of his head, looking more than sheepish.

"Yes, the wonders of technology." Rory laughed. "Haven't you used it before?"

Steve shook his head. "I don't usually eat in my suite." He shrugged. Rory turned and grabbed the pots off the stove to rinse and stack too.

"Why not?"

"I don't like being alone and being in the kitchen downstairs is nicer. There's usually someone there" He replied honestly and it surprised Rory. The past couple of weeks had been cryptic replies, it was nice to see him opening up.

"I guess that's fair." She nodded and fiddled with the machine. It sprang to life and Steve couldn't help but be impressed. "I like the solitude but it's nice to know there's usually always someone downstairs. Even in the middle of the night." She smiled at him. "Do you want another glass of wine?" She asked, reaching for their glasses to refill them.

"Uh yeah, sure." Steve nodded. The phone beeped again and Rory groaned. "Simon?"

She read the message, rolled her eyes and placed the phone back on the bench. "Yup. Just being friendly. Trying to get me to talk I guess. Poor guy." She sighed, shaking her head, tipping the bottle to pour the golden liquid. "Have you figured out how to use yours yet?"

"Not really." Steve replied, sheepishly. "I honestly forget I have it."

"C'mon, let's go sit. I'll teach you how to use it." She offered, picking up his phone with hers. He followed her, glass in hand and joined her as she made herself comfortable on his sofa.

He watched for the next hour as she explained the ins and outs of the Stark Phone. It wasn't as complex as he'd first thought and he had to admit he was impressed with all that it could do, even if he didn't know what some of it meant.

"What's the internet?" He questioned her and she gave him a blank look.

"It's… well… it's…" She stumbled for a response and came up blank. "I've never been asked to explain the internet before." She started to laugh and he smiled. She shifted on the couch until she was facing him, her legs crossed under her. She held up her hands. "Alright… imagine a giant library with every piece of information the world has to offer, ok?" She paused to make sure he was following. "Now add in videos of cats and music and you have the internet."

"Cats?"

"Specifically cats doing funny things." She nodded, holding up a finger for emphasis.

"Right." He blinked, confused by her answer. Rory bit her lip and sighed.

"I guess that's going to have to be a lesson for another day, but it's so helpful I promise." She chuckled, shaking her head. She placed their phones on the coffee table and sat back into the couch cushions, stretching her long legs out in front of her.

She watched him for a moment, her amber coloured eyes on him, taking in every detail that she could. It still stuck her as amazing, sometimes, that he was actually real. He'd lived in a time she could only dream about and she'd grown up learning about him. She both bizarrely knew him and didn't. It was amazing.

"Tell me about the 30s." She asked abruptly, draining her wine glass.

"The 30s?" Steve questioned as she leant forward to place it on the table.

"Yeah, like your life before now. Where'd you grow up? What were your parents like? What was _Bucky_ like?" She ran a hand through her head. "Things Grandma wouldn't know very well." She smiled and Steve couldn't help but return it. Talking about his life before the serum wasn't exactly a strong point of his but he knew he could trust Rory with his life so he acquiesced.

"I… I can show you I guess." He said, a smile spreading across his face that Rory wasn't quite sure about.

He disappeared for a moment and when he returned he held a cardboard box with the SHIELD insignia on it.

He placed it on the table in front of them.

"SHIELD kept my things. I think Peg had something to do with it but someone dropped this off for me the other day." He opened the lid and sucked in a deep breath. "I haven't – I haven't looked at any of it yet."

Rory sat forward, placing a hand on his arm, a silent but steady support if he needed it. He reached into the box and pulled out a beat up old tin. Inside were photographs and memories that he'd assumed were long gone. His breath caught in his throat.

"This is the stuff I carried around with me wherever we went… trinkets and reminders you know?" He said rhetorically. He plucked a photograph out of the tin and held it gingerly, as if it would disintegrate in his fingers.  
"These are my parents… Sarah and Abraham Rogers…" He pointed to the only photo he had of his parents together. His voice was soft and Rory's fingers tightened on his arm. She shuffled closer to him and peered over his bicep.

"You look like your Dad." She murmured, her fingers tracing over the photograph. "Same nose and mouth… your mothers eyes though." She glanced at him, smiling slightly. She glanced into the tin and laughed, plucking a photograph from the pile. "Oh, you were an adorable baby!" she grinned, pointing to little Steve in his mothers arms. "All blonde haired and blue eyes." She cooed. He blushed, shaking his head.

Rory reached around his arm again and picked up one of him in a white outfit that he knew was from his baptism. "You were so small." She breathed.

"I was 8 in that picture." Even though he looked no older than 6. "I was sick a lot of the time. It was a miracle I survived the first 6 months of my life."

"Shit." She murmured.

"That's me with my dog Dodger when I was 12…" Steve traced his finger over the dog-eared picture of a skinny boy with missing teeth and a spotted mutt with a ball in its mouth.

"You actually look sick there."

"I was. I told you I had everything under the sun. If my mother hadn't had been a nurse I probably would have died." He said softly, placing the photo back in the box. The photographs brought up pangs of nostalgia and he distracted himself by looking at Rory. Her hair draped over her opposite shoulder like a curtain and made her skin look like porcelain. "I was colour blind too." He added, taking in the redness of her hair and the amber of her eyes.

Colour fascinated him. He'd lived a life almost devoid of it but now it was everywhere.

"You're an artist though?" She questioned, cocking her head to one side.

"I only sketched. I would love to paint one day, now that I have the time to focus on it." He smiled. She returned the smile and looked back at the tin.

Her eyes were wide as she studied each and every photograph in front of her like they were made of gold. One hand stayed on his forearm while the other reached with delicate fingers for something else.

"How old were you here?" She pointed to a photograph taken outside of a block of apartments. A proud smile was on his face as he held up a bunch of keys.

"18. The day Buck and I moved out and got our own place. It was the first time since my parents had died that I'd felt independent." He smiled. Rory looked alarmed. "My dad drank himself to death when I was 10 and my mother caught TB a couple of years later. I lived with Bucky and his parents til we were 18 and could move out." He smiled, pointing to a picture of himself and Bucky.

"I had no idea."

"Not many people do know that about me, they just think my parents died naturally." He shook his head, his expression pained. Rory ran her hand down his arm and linked their fingers. He looked down at them, surprised but ok with the comfort.

He'd craved comfort like this for so long. Just to feel someone else. He honestly couldn't imagine having a better friend right now.

"What about this one?" She asked, pointing to a picture of him and Bucky pretending to stand at attention.

"I was 23 and trying to joining the army any way I could but, obviously, they wouldn't take me." He studied the slight and emaciated looking version of himself smiling up at them. "Told you I was sickly."

"I think you look fine." Rory shrugged, rolling her eyes. She leant forward and peered into the box. "Are these your dogtags?" She linked her free finger in a chain and lifted them, studying the slices of metal as they dangled them in front of her eyes.

"Yeah, I thought I was wearing those when the plane went down." Steve raised his eyebrows in surprise, rubbing the familiar place on his chest where they'd once sat.

"Maybe SHIELD placed whatever you had on you when they found you in the box?" Rory suggested, running her fingers over his details embedded on the tags. Steve sifted through the box and nodded.

"You're right, because I went down with this too." He pulled out his compass, the one he always took with him on missions, and ran his thumb over the battered and dinted surface. He clicked it open, half expecting Peggy's face to be smiling back at him.

A crippling wave a disappointment flooded over him when there was nothing there.

"It must have disintegrated in the ice." Rory's soft voice cut through his mind like a hot knife. He glanced over at her, his vision blurred and his throat tight. "I can get you another photo though." She squeezed his hand tightly and he shook his head, snapping the compass closed.

"No. No it's ok. It wouldn't be right to have another mans' dame in my personal effects anyway." He sniffed and cleared his throat. "I'll put my own girl in there one day."

"Yeah you will." Rory grinned and reached for her wine. "But you do it when you're ready."

"Well Bucky's not here to shove girls at me, so I guess I'll have to." He chuckled. Rory laughed and shook her head.

"I think I would have liked Bucky." She mused, thinking of the stories her Pa and Grandma had told her about the man.

"He certainly would have liked you." Steve nodded. "He had a thing for pretty red heads with bright eyes." He studied her face, trying to imagine what Bucky would say about her. His cheeks heated up as Bucky's voice floated through his mind.

 _I'd love to see what she could do with those lips. Always treasure a girl with plush lips, Steve. They're magic when used right._

Steve cleared his throat and shook his head.

Rory let go of Steve's hand and leant back against the arm of the couch. She stretched her legs in front of her, making herself comfortable. "Tell me about him."

"Who, Bucky?" Steve clenched and unclenched the hand she had been holding. It was unusually warm and tingling as the blood rushed back to his digits. "Bucky was great." He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Always up for some kind of adventure. There was one time we skipped school and went to Coney Island. He made me ride the roller coaster about a hundred times." He chuckled and winced, the memories flooding his mind. "I, of course, threw up almost every time but he kept dragging me on."

"That's horrible!" Rory exclaimed.

"His reasoning was that you never give up even if it kills you." Steve shrugged. "The last time we rode it there were two pretty dames sitting in front of us that Bucky wanted to get a date with and I threw up on their shoes." His face turned bright red.

"Oh my god!" Rory squealed, unable to hold in her laugh. "That's definitely horrible."

"Bucky was so mad but I told him I didn't feel great." Steve joined in with her laughter. "He protected me a lot though. He was as close as I ever got to having a brother."

"Sounds like a good guy."

"He was the best, I just wish I could have -." He cut himself off. "I wish things could have worked out differently."

His face fell as memories haunted him. He hadn't been able to save him. He'd died defending him. Crippling guilt washed over him so hard, his eyes pricked with tears.

"According to Pa you did everything you could. It was an accident." Rory nudged him with her foot. He glanced at her and nodded.

"I know. Doesn't make it any easier. There was a chance that I could have saved him and I _failed_." He croaked out, not willing to look at the girl beside him.

"Unfortunately you can't win them all but you tried and that's what matters." She repeated the words that she'd heard so often in her life. Her Pa had always said them to her and she never realised she lived by the words until now.

"How are you so positive?" Steve chuckled, sniffing hard. "You work for SHIELD, you see the same things I do… Yet you never seem to let it get to you."

"I do, I'm just good at picking my moments when I freak out or shut down. I grew up in this life. It can get you down but you just gotta take what you get." She shrugged, waving her hands. "My grandparents taught me how to handle it, I guess. Roll with the punches, always look on the bright side of life, that kind of thing." She paused. "The punches started for me when I was just a baby. I'd be dead now if I let them get to me."

Steve watched as she tried to explain the thoughts going through her head. She looked bashful, embarrassed and the apples of her cheeks dusted over with pink; but her eyes shined with a passion that made him believe things were ok. She was truly beautiful and he didn't know what to say next.

Rory knew he was watching her, she could feel his eyes on her skin making her feel exposed and naked in the best kind of way. She felt admired which was a ridiculous concept to her because she had always admired him. She cleared her throat.

"But I'm rambling so I'm going to stop." She ran a hand through her hair and cracked her neck.

"You're not rambling. I like listening to you talk." Steve assured her. "You say interesting things."

"I say dumb things." She disagreed, shaking her head.

"I don't think so." He assured her.

They continued to talk for the rest of the night, Steve telling her stories about growing up with Bucky on the streets of Brooklyn. He made her laugh and he decided it was his favourite thing about her. Her laugh was infectious and fun, light and almost childish. It made him feel like nothing could ever be wrong again, an absurd notion but he liked it none the less.

He wanted to ask her to stay as she got up to leave but knew he couldn't, guessed she wouldn't.

"Thanks for the company." He said as she opened the door. He followed her to the hall, leaning against the frame as she turned to say goodbye.

"Like I said, Steve. Anytime. It's nice to see you break down some of those walls." She smiled at him.

"Walls?" He furrowed his brow.

"Yeah, walls. Grandma says you've always had them. You're uptight about some things. Bitter about a lot. You should relax." She waved her hand, shrugging lightly. "Especially around women. She said you were pretty terrible talking to women."

"I'm doing pretty well being around you aren't I?"

"Yeah you are." She replied. She paused a moment, half turning away from him but stopping herself. "I like being around you, Steve. You're fun when you relax and turn off the 'superhero' thing."

His cheeks flushed in that way they always did and he looked at the floor. "Well I guess I'll just have to practice turning off the Superhero thing, huh?"

He heard the click of her door as it opened. "You know where to find me," She winked, shooting him a dazzling grin again.

He waved a hand and watched her door close. He closed his own but leant against the other side of it, his heart more full than he remembered it ever been. He had friends and he had a purpose. The new world didn't seem so bad anymore.

* * *

Author's Note: Just another filler. Figured I'd throw it up there for fun. I want to make clear that this story is slow burning and sometimes it'll feel like not a lot is happening. It's not for everyone and I get that. Thank you for reading though. Please like or comment if you did like it.

Also the bad guys from the last chapter are actual marvelverse characters. Go look them up before making stupid comments that I have to delete because they're embarrassing to you. 3


	10. If You Close Your Eyes

Show Me That You're Human

Chapter 10: If You Close Your Eyes

* * *

"I want to visit my old friends."

The words were out of Steve's mouth in a rush, before he lost his nerve. He'd spent most of the hour with Doctor Holstein only half there, his mind trying to think up a way to approach wanting to reconnect with the past. With 10 minutes to go, he figured it was crunch time. He sucked in a breath of her sickly sweet perfume while he waited for her to say something.

Holstein stayed quiet a beat longer, her sentence about branching out cut in two. She pushed her black frames back up her nose. It was the kind of silence you could cut with a knife and Steve was setting himself up for a no.

"I assume you mean your Howling Commandos?" She asked finally and he nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. My old friends. I know they're alive, spread out around the countryside… I would… I would like to see them again. Very much." He looked at his hands, feeling much like a schoolboy about to be scolded for asking for seconds.

"Do you think that would help you?"

Steve glanced up at the question. For the first time ever she was asking for his input about his recovery. It stunned him momentarily.

"I do." He nodded. "I need… I need to find out what happened to them, from them. Not through Aurora or Arthur or even Tony." He smiled lightly. "Although they have helped too."

"Ah, so this was Miss Dugan's idea." Holstein nodded slowly, realisation dawning on her face. Apparently the displeasure went both ways, Steve noted that Holstein had a sour look on her face every time he mentioned Aurora.

"No this –"

"All due respect to her, Steve, she doesn't understand PTSD and hasn't been with you from the start." Holstein shook her head. Steve frowned.

"No she hasn't, and that was your fault." He pointed out. "She doesn't have to understand PTSD, hell I barely understand it,"

" - Which is why we've been taking it slowly."

"But I feel like I need to see my friends." He didn't know how to drive the point home to her that this was important to him.

"They're not going to be the same as you remember, Steve." She said softly, sliding her glasses off her face. "They have aged. They've moved on. They mourned for you."

Steve looked down at his hands again, still young and as smooth as they had been 70 years ago.

"They won't be how you remember them being." Her voice was smooth and soft and he wasn't sure if she was antagonizing him or comforting him.

"I know." He said softly. "I just… need to see them."

Of course he knew they'd be old. Rory had shown him photographs of them all and they were pepper-haired and wrinkled. Falsworth even had a cane. It still didn't stop him from feeling like this was what he needed.

"Could you handle it?" She asked, her voice dropping to low, hushed tones. "Seeing Dugan with a grey moustache, moving slower than you'd think possible? Seeing Gabe Jones hobble around, his fingers warped with age… Could you stand to see Peggy Carter, the woman you love so deeply, wrinkled and grey and old?" Her words spun images in his head that broke his heart and he closed his eyes, breathing deep. The faint scent of spun sugar tickled his nose, warming his blood. Her perfume often had that effect on him. If he spent too long in the office with her he felt dazed. It made him feel a little ill.

She was right, he realised. He couldn't face that picture. If it hurt him that much to think about his friends like that, then it would kill him to see it in the flesh.

To see Dugan's skin all weathered, his red hair completely white. Gabe Jones wouldn't be able to play his trumpet with his arthritic hands… Peg, god his beautiful Peg would be wrinkled and old and so very tiny. They wouldn't be the same. He would stand with them, young and healthy and they would be on their last legs.

His chest felt tight and his ears started to ring.

"I see your point." He murmured, flicking his eyes to her. She was watching him sympathetically, her notebook tucked away on the corner of her neat and tidy desk.

"Don't get me wrong, Steve, we will work toward seeing them… I just don't think you're there right now." Her ruby red lips lifted in a smile and all Steve could do was nod. "Your time is up, by the way but if you feel like you need to stay –"

Steve stood without a second thought.

"No. Thank you."

"I'll see you next week."

Her voice floated out to him as he left the room. He shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his new jeans.

He'd been so sure he would be ok to see his friends but now his head was muddled and Doctor Holstein was right. It was too much too soon. Hell, maybe he shouldn't even be talking to Aurora. It was because of her that he'd started thinking about seeing people again…

"Don't be an idiot." He muttered to himself, giving his shoulders a shake. Aurora had been like a breath of life into his otherwise simple existence. He'd been struggling to find his place and she was helping him, encouraging him to make friends and fit in.

He stopped by the coffee hut on the 30th floor and then took a left into the hall that lead to her cubicle, something in his chest telling him he needed to see her.

Heads turned as he walked across the office space, faces popping up and whispers following his back.

"No, don't do it _that_ way, Stark."

"Hey, who's the tech genius around here?"

"Apparently not you if you're going to use _that_ algorithm for _this_ system."

Steve could audibly hear the eye roll and he couldn't even see Aurora yet. He peered over the wall of her cubicle and both found her and Tony hunched over a battered looking laptop. They were slapping each others hands away as they both tried to start typing at the same time.

"Whose system is it anyway?" Tony huffed, throwing himself back in his seat in defeat, eyes narrowed on the back of her head. His eyes found Steve and he grinned. "Captain Tightpants, what brings you down to the lower levels?"

Aurora looked up. "Hey Steve." She chirruped, happy as always to see him.

"Uh, not much, actually." Steve shrugged. He held out the cup of coffee he'd bought for Aurora, watching as she wriggled her fingers and let out a gasp before she took the cup. "I'm wondering the same about you, sorry I didn't get you a coffee."

"It's ok, I've had about a dozen today." He waved a hand. "I'm helping Aurora set up a system to help her with _paperwork_." Tony said, his voice raised slightly. He gave Steve an exaggerated wink at the same time. Rory elbowed him in the side.

"Knock it off." She muttered. "He's helping me fix my old laptop." She replied, her wink much more subtle that Tony's and Steve got the hint that this was about the hacking to catch Hydra stealing their secrets. "But he's being a pain in the ass about it."

"You're using a Macbook Pro, it's not me being the ass pain I assure you." Tony replied flippantly. Aurora rolled her eyes and looked back up at Steve.

"Thanks for the coffee… What are you doing here?" She queried, her eyebrow raising ever so slightly. Steve rubbed the back of his head, feeling a little dumb.

He didn't know why he was there. He'd just wanted to see her. He could feel Tony's eyes watching him, analysing his silence. He needed to say something fast.

"I was talking with Doctor Holstein about going and visiting some of my old friends and was wondering if you'd help me?" The words tumbled out, much like they had in the psychiatrists office. He hadn't planned on saying them, but it felt good to get them out.

Rory's face bloomed into a grin, a starkly different reaction to Doctor Holsteins'.

"That sounds like a great idea." She agreed with him and Steve loosed a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. "Who do you want to start with?"

"Dumbest question of the year award goes too…" Tony piped up, his fingers stilling on the keyboard. "Your grandparents, obviously." He rolled his eyes when Rory looked at him.

Steve squirmed. That was something he wasn't sure about.

"Uh I don't… I don't know who actually…" He said, trying to make his brain catch up. "I hadn't thought that far ahead."

"I bet Holstein said this was a bad idea, didn't she?" Rory asked, her amber eyes narrowed and studying him. He shouldn't have been surprised that she hadn't missed a single beat.

"That obvious, huh?" He shoved his hands into his pockets.

"I know how that woman works." She said flatly. She took another long drink of her coffee before she spoke again. "What did you want to do, Steve?"

"I want to see them." He said immediately.

"But?"

"But he's scared that he's young and they're old and things won't be the same." Tony said, this time not even looking away from the keyboard. "I mean, c'mon Roar, you don't have to be a psychiatrist to see that."

Steve's ears reddened and he glanced around, finding eyes on him still. Both he and Tony had attracted quite the audience. He wished they weren't talking about this right in the middle of SHIELD personnel.

"Well, _when_ do you want to do this?" She asked, shooting a look at the side of Tony's head. If Tony noticed, he didn't flinch.

"As soon as possible?" Steve shrugged.

Rory leant back in her chair, crossing one slim leg over the other.

"Well my grandparents have gone to England to visit Uncle Monty for the next couple of weeks and London is a little bit far to just go for a weekend…" She mused. "What about Uncle Gabe? He's only in DC… I'm sure he'd be up for a dinner of some sort?"

Gabe Jones, the youngest of the Howling Commandos. Maybe starting with someone who wouldn't be _that_ old would be better for him. He'd always liked Gabe; the man had been wicked smart and very funny. He'd provided a good tune on a long night on more than one occasion; DC wasn't too far away either.

"That seems less daunting." Steve agreed.

"Great!" Rory's smile widened to a grin, her cheeks dimpling. Steve couldn't help but smile back at her. "I'll give Maggie a call, she could probably put us up for the weekend seeing as how she lives in D.C. Did you want to go this coming weekend? Or the next? Next might work better for Uncle Gabe…" Rory rambled on, pulling her diary closer to her to flick through it.

Steve chuckled.

"Next weekend sounds great." He nodded. "I don't want to bother your sister though. A hotel will do fine." He waved his hand.

"Nonsense. Maggie would be insulted if we went to D.C. and didn't stay with her." Rory shook her head, looking up at him.

"Oh that's real swell. Well I'll have to clear everything with Fury but I think he'll be ok with you coming with me." Steve stuck his hands in his pockets, scuffing the toe of his shoe slightly.

"If he's not I'll just argue with him till he does." She laughed, sitting back in her seat to cradle her coffee in front of her.

"You'd technically be his handler wouldn't you?" Tony asked, raising his eyebrow "Isn't your clearance a little low to be a handler?"

"I wouldn't be his handler, Tony." She said, shaking her head in exasperation. She glanced at Steve, who was looking a little uncertain. "I wouldn't." She assured him quickly. "I'd be coming with you as a friend, taking some holiday leave." She smiled. She looked so sincere that Steve nodded. He trusted her, completely trusted her. She'd done nothing but help him so he had every ounce of faith that that'd be ok.

"You'll probably have to talk to Holstein too…" Steve started but her groan cut him off.

"She'll probably tell me how wrong I am again and I shouldn't be pushing you because you're a delicate little snowflake." Rory rolled her eyes. Steve chuckled. "I'll just let her know it'll be a trip filled with wild parties, hard drugs and lots of sex, ok?"

"Oh, can I come too?" Tony let out a barking laugh.

Steve managed to turn his choke of surprise into one at the last second.

"That'll go down real swell." He shook his head. "We really will need a SHIELD babysitter."

"Ah well, as long as we have fun." She chuckled. "You know I'm not telling SHIELD anything, right? To me this will be an off the record trip."

"Yeah. I know." He nodded with a smile. "I trust you." He added.

"Good." She said, grabbing a pad of paper and a pen. "I'll start organising everything then."

"Thanks. I'll let you two get back to work too." Steve gave her a small salute and stood up straight.

"I'll see you later." She nodded, giving him a wave. "Oh hey, if you see Clint could you tell him I need the paper work asap?" She asked as he turned to walk away.

"Sure thing." He nodded before disappearing from sight, leaving Tony and Rory to work on hacking Tony's own system together.

* * *

Rory spent the next week in a frenzy of activity, trying to organise the trip to D.C. Fury had been the first one she'd spoken to on Monday morning. He'd only given her his blessing on the condition that if anything should go wrong it fell on her head.

"I don't know what you think is going to happen, Nick." She replied, rolling her eyes. She leaned back in the chair that sat on the other side of Fury's desk.

"I never know with you, Dugan." Nick shook his head. "At the request of Captain Rogers, I'm calling this a personal trip. Off the record."

"Thanks. He will appreciate that."

"But, anything goes wrong it's on your head." He gave her a sharp look and she sighed.

"Understood." She replied. In all honestly she was getting a little sick of them treating Steve like a toddler who constantly needed a handler. Sure he was a valuable asset but he was also human.

The next person she'd seen was Doctor Holstein, who was less than impressed that she was going with Steve. It didn't surprise Rory. She got the distinct impression from Holstein that she was getting in the way and the Doctor would do anything she could to keep her away from Steve.

"I don't believe this is best for Steve. He's quite attached to you." The doctor's accent grated on Rory's nerves and she rolled her eyes.

"It's called _friendship._ It's quite a natural and common thing and something that you should be encouraging in him, not treating like a timebomb." Rory pointed out. She hadn't exactly warmed up to Doctor Holstein, not after the woman gave her a bad psych evaluation for both the demotion and the readjustment after the Chitauri Invasion.

Holstein's eyes bore into Rory's head.

"I am _not_ treating him like a timebomb." The woman said in a steely voice. "I just don't think you understand exactly what someone with PTSD is capable of."

Aurora laughed. "Lady, my own brother suffered it pretty damn bad. I know what to expect and how to deal with it. Cutting him off from support networks is _not_ how you deal with it." She shook her head and stood. "Gabe at least is less likely to hurt him. Gabe's the youngest so he won't look as old and Steve didn't have any overly personal ties connected with him, unlike say my grandparents." She explained coolly. "I've thought this through and I wouldn't be encouraging anything for Steve that might hurt him."

Holstein was silent for a long moment, her eyes narrowed on Rory's. The smell of spun sugar was getting to Rory's head, making it swim and she wished she could just leave, but she'd promised Fury she would talk to the psychiatrist and she wasn't about to renege on that and make herself look bad.

"Please program my cell phone number into yours so if anything should go wrong you can contact me." Holstein said finally, and Rory grit her teeth.

"I would probably call Director Fury instead of you." Rory replied, straightening in her seat. "But I'll store it. He'll be fine, I can assure you."

"Steve is under a lot of stress, Agent Dugan. It could trigger his PTSD."

Holstein pulled out a small business card and handed it to her. Rory took it grudgingly, the smell of sweetness stronger than ever.

"Steve will be fine." She smiled sweetly, tucking the card into her boot.

"Just call me, please?" Holstein sighed, shaking her head. Rory had made a casual promise and had left.

After making a few calls to her Uncle Gabe and then to Beth, his Granddaughter, to arrange dinner, the last person Rory spoke to was her sister.

" _How'd the date go with Simon?"_

"Good, actually." She admitted. It had been good it wasn't a lie. Simon may have been 10 years older than her but he didn't look a day over 28 and he'd been quite funny. Kind, courteous and had insisted on paying for both dinner and their cab home. He was very nice.

" _Why do I sense a_ but _?"_ Maggie groaned and Rory chuckled softly.

"There's no but. The date was good. End of."

" _Are you going to see him again?"_

Rory thought for a moment. She probably wouldn't. Dating just wasn't on her 'to-do' list right now. He also lived in D.C., which made things a tad difficult.

"Maybe. He lives in D.C. so who knows." She replied flippantly. "Speaking of, I'm coming to D.C. this weekend."

" _He's in New York quite often_." Maggie tried to sound tantalising. " _Wait what? You hate D.C., why are you coming here?"_

"I don't hate D.C." Rory said indignantly. "Steve Rogers is visiting Uncle Gabe and I'm going with him."

" _Captain America? Is this an agent thing?"_ Maggie sounded surprised and Rory realised she hadn't quite filled her sister in on being friends with Steve. At least she was dropping the Simon thing at the moment.

"No it's more like a 'I'm helping friend out' thing." She said, doodling on the notepad. She drew stars and stripes and swirls with the tip of her pen.

" _Oh? You're actually friends with him?"_

She mhm'd. "Yeah, he's really nice and a little bit lost. He knows I know Gabe well and he asked if I'd go with him because he didn't want to go alone." Rory explained as she doodled, smiling lightly at the thought of him wanting her there. "He doesn't like being alone."

" _Poor thing. Adjusting must be hard for him._ "

"He has his moments. He's not so bad. Has PTSD though, like Grant." She lowered her voice, glancing at the desk beside hers. She never knew who was listening to her now. Ever since her co-workers had noticed a steady trickle of Avenger's wandering to her cubicle she'd been the most popular person in the room. Except everyone was too scared to actually talk to her.

" _That's tough, even tougher to deal with WWII flash backs in the modern world."_ Maggie tutted. " _When are you coming down?"_

"We get in Saturday morning. We're flying. It was easier to fly." Rory glanced at the flight itinerary beside her. "Only there for one night."

" _What time?"_

"Flight lands at oh-nine-hundred."

" _I'll be there. We'll do lunch with Jay. I can't wait to meet Captain America."_ Maggie was already planning and Rory smiled. She could always count on her sister.

"Perfect. He's really lovely, Mags. Exactly how Grandma used to describe him."

" _I was going to ask if he lived up to the legends we've been told."_

"He's so much more." Rory told her with a deep sigh. She caught herself, realising she sounded like a dizzy fan girl, like the one's she'd seen interviewed on the news after they'd painted his face on the side of a building.

" _Is it weird? I mean you were so in love with him when you were a kid… is it weird to know him now?"_

"I was so not in love with him!" Rory's cheeks flushed red as Maggie laughed.

" _You had the biggest crush on him! Oh god, you had his poster and the trading cards and everything!"_

"Shut up, Maggie!" Rory laughed, shaking her head. "I'm an adult now. No time for silly crushes."

" _Is he good looking? He looks gorgeous in that suit… I saw him on the TV… That shoulder-to-waist ratio could kill someone._ " Maggie hissed and moaned softly, causing Rory to snort loudly.

She glanced around again, lowering her voice. "He's even better in real life." She whispered down the phone. "Wait till you see his shoulders in the flesh. Oh my _god_."

Maggie chuckled. " _I bet. I can't wait to meet him,"_ She said. " _I'll see you both Saturday morning then."_

"Love you, Mags."

" _Love you too_."

There was just one more thing they had to do before they left.

"You're getting a suit."

"I don't need a new suit."

"Uncle Gabe is a senator, you're getting a suit." Rory sighed, peering up at the shop signs so she didn't miss the place she was looking for. Behind her Steve dragged his feet with Arthur chuckling along beside him and Sharon sipping some kind of iced drink from Starbucks, watching in silence.

"I have a suit."

Rory stopped in her tracks and turned to Steve. "You need a suit from this decade Steve." She pointed out. Steve set his jaw and peered down at her.

"Gabe won't care if I don't wear a suit," He smiled as he remembered the youngest of his squadron.

Rory's eyes trailed over the plaid button up and khaki slacks and she folded her arms over her chest. "We need to pick you up some clothes from this century too. You dress like Pa."

Steve's mouth shut with a clap and Arthur let out a laugh. Steve silenced him with a glare. "I dress like I always dress."

"Yeah. Like my Grandpa. C'mon Steve, this way. You need a suit." Rory turned on her heel and kept walking. Sharon patted his shoulder sympathetically.

"You should know that Carter women are bossy as all hell." She said softly, smiling at the tall man.

Steve rubbed the back of his head. "I don't remember them being this bad."

"Rory is a Carter woman _and_ the youngest child. The girl gets her way all too often and without ever trying." Arthur said, smiling after the redhead who was triumphantly pointing to a shop.

They went in and Steve trailed behind Rory as she 'helped' him pick out the suit. She'd given him exactly one try, which he failed, before she picked something for him.

"Your girlfriend has good taste." The elderly tailor with wispy grey hair and glasses that over-enlarged his eyes commented as he pinned the suit to fit Steve. Steve glanced at the man and smiled.

"She's not my girlfriend." He corrected before turning to watch Rory search around the store. She and Sharon appeared to be comparing something and Rory was shaking her head, her copper curls falling over her ear.

"Girls like that are hard to find." The tailor nodded, pulling his jacket and pinning where it was needed. "You should snatch her away before someone else does."

Steve cleared his throat, lifting his lip in a half smile before he turned back to examine his reflection. The suit Rory had picked out _was_ great; even he had to admit it. The man had described it as being a peak lapel, single-breasted two-piece suit in slate grey. At the moment he had a white shirt under it but Rory had said she'd wanted another one, in a different colour.

" _White is too serious. You look like an agent."_

Rory and Sharon walked over then and Rory thrust a light blue shirt under his chin and critically eyed him.

"See, the ice blue doesn't over shadow the slate." She turned to look at Sharon before turning back to Steve.

"It does bring out his eyes." Sharon commented, nodding her head.

"With a steel grey tie to match the suit." Rory agreed.

"Excellent choice, Miss. You have an eye for this." The tailor nodded, taking the shirt from her hand. Rory nodded approvingly and smiled at Steve.

"Was that so hard?" She asked, blinking innocently. Steve just sighed and shook his head.

"No. Thank you for your help."

He couldn't help but smirk when she shot him a sweet smile and turned to examine the cabinet of cufflinks to the right.

"Now you're learning, Rogers." Arthur called from his place on the sofa. "Just smile and agree with her and no one get's hurt."

* * *

"I'm sorry." Steve apologised for the millionth time as they disembarked the flight at Ronald Regan National Airport. It had been a rocky flight and Steve, who still wasn't great with flying, had grabbed Rory's hand in a panic, almost breaking her fingers.

He's been apologising since they'd stepped off the craft and Rory was done with it.

"Steve, it's fine. It's not broken." She flexed her fingers again; the slight ache telling her a break had come close.

"I know but I'm –"

"You say sorry one more time, Rogers and I'm going to beat you with my bag." Rory narrowed her eyes playfully. "I swear to god, I'm –"

"RORY!" A voice behind her exclaimed and Rory spun on her heel.

"MAGS!" She grinned and ran toward a tall, slim woman with long brown hair, wide brown eyes and apple cheeks that Steve recognised as similar to Rory's. Maggie Dugan looked a lot more like Peggy than Rory did and a lump appeared in his throat as he watched the sisters embrace.

"Your hair is so long!"

"God you're so skinny, Mags. You're working too hard."

"I've always been skinny, I'm working my regular hours I swear!"

"Are you remembering to eat?" Rory laughed and hugged her sister again. "C'mon, Captain America is looking after the bags and I'd hate for him to grab someone else's by mistake."

"Always in control of the situation." Maggie shook her head and followed her sister. Steve Rogers was everything Maggie had ever imagined and more. He was tall and younger than she'd expected him to look, his smooth skin and angled jaw looking no older than Rory's 26 years of age.

"Steve, I'd like you to meet my sister, Margaret. Mags, this is Steve." Rory smiled at Steve assuringly as she approached. Steve stuck out his hand, a blush forming on his cheeks.

"It's lovely to meet you, ma'am."

Maggie's eyebrows rose in surprised amusement. She took his hand. "Nice to meet you too, Captain. I've heard a lot about you."

Steve could only smile. He saw too much of Peggy in Maggie Dugan. It was a tough shock but he did his best to hide his curios stare. "C'mon Cap, both bags are here." Rory patted his shoulder and he looked down at her.

"Have you ever been to D.C. before Steve?" Maggie asked as they walked toward the car park.

"A very long time ago, Ma'am. I came here with the chorus line, when we were selling war bonds." He explained. Peering around at the modern cars and the updated roads he chuckled. "It's a bit different now though."

"Oh I bet." Maggie nodded. "I hope you enjoy your time here, I miss Boston but it's a nice place to live."

"I miss Boston." Rory echoed with a sigh. "Can't wait for the 4th July holiday."

"What's the 4th July holiday?" Steve asked as he swung the two, small bags into the trunk.

"The family gets together at home and we have a party over the four days. It's a lot of fun, a very long standing tradition." Rory explained with a grin. "You should come this year."

"I uh… I guess?" Steve rubbed the back of his head, wondering if the invitation was a serious thing.

"Tim's definitely home for it, too." Maggie interjected.

"Get out!" Rory exclaimed with excitement. "When'd he find that out?"

"Last week?" Maggies shrugged, starting the engine of her 4 door SUV.

"Asshole hasn't told me anything!" Rory squealed, slamming the door behind her.

"He probably hasn't been able to, he was in the desert up until last night." Maggie started up the engine and they peeled out of the airport car park.

Traffic wasn't bad on the way back to the contemporary penthouse apartment in the heart of Georgetown, D.C. Steve was content to watch the scenery and city go past and listen to the sisters bicker and exchange gossip as they drove. It almost felt completely normal for once.

"You have a lovely home." Steve complimented Maggie as she took them for a tour through her beautiful house. "What is it that your husband does?"

"Oh he's not my husband, just my fiancé." Maggie shook her head as she opened a bedroom door and ushered them inside. "Jay is an architect, he designed the renovations on this place." She smiled.

"It's beautiful." Steve said again. He placed Rory's bag on the bed. "Where am I going?"

"This room." Maggie pushed a door to a small spare room open. It contained a bed, a chest of drawers and a small bay window that looked down on the street below. It was homey. He liked it. "Bathroom's through there, Rory's room on the other side. It's not much but –"

"It's lovely, thank you." Steve placed his bag down on the bed. "Thank you again for having us."

"No trouble at all." Maggie smiled and Steve saw Peggy in her once more. He looked away quickly. "I'll let you two get unpacked." She said softly, as if she knew what he was thinking. He heard her walk away and he let out a soft sigh.

Rory took her bag from his hands and hauled it through the small bathroom into her room. "So what'd you want to do first, Steve? I mean after lunch with Jay and Mags?"

"I wouldn't mind seeing some sights. It's been a long time since I've been here." Steve called back, unzipping his bag. "What time's dinner tonight?"

"Reservation is at 7." She said and he nodded. He had a bit of time to try and relax. He heard her footsteps in the bathroom again and when he turned he found her watching him, leaning against the doorframe.

"You ok?"

"Nervous I guess." He admitted and she nodded empathetically.

"It's going to be great Steve but you don't have to go if you don't want to." She assured him and he shook his head.

"No, I want to go. Don't let me back out." He turned back to his bag. "I just… It's going to make all of this real, you know?" He waved a hand, his back stiffening. "It feels like I was laughing with Gabe just the other day and now…"

Her hand was warm on his arm and he closed his eyes.

"Yeah, it is going to make it real but I think it'll also give you closure." Her voice was soft and soothing and he nodded as he leaned closer to her. He swallowed, hesitating slightly as he wrapped an arm around her. He needed to feel warmth, another heartbeat, a real person. He needed to feel grounded.

"I'll be there the entire time, ok?" She said as she wrapped her arms around his waist, her cheek resting just under the line of his shoulder.

"Thank you." He said softly. He could feel his heart slowing and he let her go.

"C'mon, let's go sigh seeing. I'm also _starving_." She smiled and like that things were ok again, even just for the moment. He laughed and nodded, watching as she grabbed a light jacket and her purse and dragged him out of the bedroom door.

* * *

Author's Note:

Here's chapter 10. Double digits and far from over. I should probably make some kind of Spotify playlist for all the music I put at the end of these chapters. There's usually more than 3 songs but these three are the ones that stand out for me. Anyway, if you like it, comment, review, like whatever. Share it with your friends. Tumblr is my friend.

Thanks again.

Playlist:

Pompeii – Bastille

Something's Gotta Give – All Time Low

Take a Walk – Passion Pit


	11. Far Too Good

Show Me That You're Human

Disclaimer: Trigger warning - abuse.

* * *

Chapter 11: Far Too Good

Maggie and Rory dragged Steve around D.C. to see the sights of the nations capital. They visited the monuments and the White House, strolled past the Capitol before meeting up with Jay to have lunch at an English style restaurant in the middle of Georgetown. The foursome chatted over beer and sandwiches, Steve regaling them with stories of his time travelling the country with the chorus line and discussing old vs new architecture with Jay.

"He's such a sweetheart." Maggie commented to Rory as they started to stroll home.

"He is." Rory mused, turning to look at Steve over her shoulder. He was pointing to some moulding on a building and Jay was comparing it to the moulding on the next. She smiled. For the first time Steve looked happy and relaxed, talking animatedly about something he liked that had nothing to do with his alter ego.

Maggie nudged her arm and Rory turned back to see her sister giving her _The Look_. _The Look_ had always appeared on Maggie's face whenever there was an eligible man around for Rory to possibly date. Rory hated _The Look_ and usually returned it with a look of her own. One that said _Don't You Dare_.

"No." Rory said flatly, shaking her head and walking a few paces faster than her sister. She examined the dress in the window of the shop they were passing and she paused to examine it.

"Why not, Rory?" Maggie sighed, catching up with her, linking their arms to stop her sister from escaping again. "He's young, gorgeous, totally polite and sweet…"

"Grandma Peggy's ex, 94 years old and just slightly abnormal." Rory continued, shooting her sister a grimace. "Did I mention he's pretty much Grandma's ex? The _'love of her life'_?" Rory lowered her voice and looked back at the dress.

"It's a little weird, yes. Slightly not-normal, but our family _isn't_ normal Roar. We grew up with not-normal." Maggie pointed out. "And you don't seem to be remotely interested in Simon –"

"I didn't say I wasn't." Rory snapped, shaking her head. Truth be told Simon was a nice, sweet, older guy who was established in his life… but Maggie was right. She wasn't interested in him but that was because she wasn't interested in anyone.

Maggie gave her the bullshit look.

" _He's nice but, he's sweet but, he's a nice single eligible bachelor and I'm not interested because I'm Rory and I'm not into anyone."_ Maggie rolled her eyes, mimicking her voice to sound like a childish version of Rory's.

Rory pinched her.

"Shut up."

"Ow! Jerk." Maggie rubbed her arm, scowling. "Look, I know one relationship didn't go so well for you, Roar, a million years ago but –"

"I'm more focused on my job right now." Rory bit out, cutting her sister off. "Long hours and weird friends… My job isn't exactly one you share with someone and it's ok like that." she sighed, glaring at Maggie's hopeful look.

Maggie huffed and turned and looked at Jay and Steve, still talking animatedly something or other to do with architecture. "I had no idea he was into architecture."

"He went to art school before the army. He wanted to design buildings." Rory replied automatically. Maggie's eyes gleamed, like a lightbulb had gone on behind them. " _No_." Rory said flatly, narrowing her eyes. She couldn't read minds but she didn't need to when Maggie was giving her _The Look_.

"He understands your job…"

" _Maggie_."

"You guys are pretty close…"

" _Stop_." She hissed, finally fed up with her sister's game.

"Can't avoid Captain Wonderful forever…"

"Margaret – have you been talking to Sharon?"

"Aurora – Of course, she tells me everything."

"What's going on here, ladies? 4 hours together and you're already arguing?" Jay said as he and Steve finally caught up with them.

"Not arguing." Maggie said lightly. "Just asking Rory if she was going to meet up with Simon while she was in town."

Rory let out a breath and shook her head. Her sister would keep for now.

Steve's eyebrows rose.

"Simon?" He queried.

"Maggie's friend who I had that date with." Rory clarified, looking at the dress in the window of the store they were passing.

"Oh, it went well? You didn't mention it," Steve asked, smiling at her.

"It was ok. He was nice." Rory nodded.

"You should see him again." Maggie pushed. "Look I can call him right now and tell him you're interested in having lunch tomorrow." Maggie took out her phone but Rory snatched it from her hands.

"I'm not 12, Maggie. I don't need you making dates for me." Rory shook her head, scowling. "I said I wasn't interested in seeing him again. He was nice but it's not gonna work."

"So you say." Maggie muttered, snatching her phone back. "Maybe I wouldn't have to make dates for you if you did it yourself."

Rory let out a hiss. "I'm going into that store to try on that dress." She pointed behind her while she glared at her sister. "When I come out you're going to stop shoving men at me, ok?" Rory turned on her heel and went into the boutique, leaving Maggie and the guys on the street in front.

"You really shouldn't push her." Jay sighed, taking his fiancé by the arm.

Maggie sighed. "If I don't, she's going to end up 60 and alone."

"If she's happy then what business is it of ours?" Steve said lightly, watching Rory select the dress she wanted to try. He could feel Maggie's eyes on him so he turned and smiled at her.

"You make a valid point. I just worry about her, that's all." She said softly before turning and continuing on down the street.

* * *

Rory stood and looked at her reflection in the mirror that was hung on the back of the bedroom door. She'd ended up purchasing the dress she'd seen in the window but now she wasn't so sure she liked it. It was a tulip cut with a sweet heart neckline that fell just above her knees. The royal blue colour offset her pale skin and red hair and made her amber eyes seem brighter; but there was something missing and she couldn't quite figure out what.

Before she could contemplate any longer the door opened, shifting Rory's reflection away from her. Steve came into view wearing his well-fitted tux, the ice blue highlighting his eyes in a spectacular way. They stared at each other a moment, each appreciating how the other looked.

"You look beautiful." Steve complimented finally, tugging on his shirtsleeves as he tore his eyes away.

"You're pretty handsome yourself." She smiled, walking to where the suit jacket was slung over the desk chair and she handed it to him. "I knew the ice blue would look better." She nodded as she smoothed the jacket over his broad shoulders.

"Well you did great." He admitted, fiddling with his cuffs. Rory noticed and she smiled.

"I brought you something." She said as she reached for her handbag.

"What did you buy me?" Steve frowned, turning to watch her. She straightened triumphantly, holding a black, velvet box out to him. He opened it. "Aurora…" His voice was soft, awestruck. Two silver cufflinks sat on black velvet. He could clearly see the map and the word Brooklyn displayed on them and he felt a sense of nostalgia at the thought of his hometown.

"I didn't know if you had cufflinks or not and I saw these in the suit shop the other day. They reminded me of you." She smiled, taking the box from him and pulling the links out.

"They're perfect. Thank you." His voice was still soft and he watched as she intently fixed them to his sleeves. "I couldn't find my cufflinks in my possessions so I guess they must have been lost." He admitted, a little sad because they'd been his fathers.

"Well now you have these." She smiled and tucked some hair over her ear. He returned the smile and nodded, unsure of what to say. "Shall we go? Maggie said she'd drive us." Rory tilted her head toward the door. Steve nodded and Rory picked up her clutch and slipped her feet into her white heels. He offered her his arm and she took it, gently draping her hand through his elbow.

They made their way down stairs and Maggie wolf whistled. "You both scrub up nicely," Maggie gave an approving look to Steve and focused on Rory. "but you need a necklace." She said critically, eyeing her sisters' bare neck.

"It's missing something isn't it?" Rory asked, bringing her hand to her chest.

"Wait here." Maggie ordered before taking the stairs two at a time. She returned with a string of pearls in her hand and she fixed them to Rory's neck.

"Mom's pearls?" Rory sounded surprised as she touched them.

"Grandma gave them to me for my 21st birthday. They look good with the blue." Maggie squeezed her sister's shoulder, smiling at her proudly.

It struck Steve then that Maggie would have acted as both mother and sister to Aurora, creating a bond that was a little deeper than most.

"The pearls look great." He said after a minute. Rory smiled at him, her cheeks dimpling in a way that seemed to make her smile look wider. He truly loved that smile. It could light up the dark, he was sure of it.

"C'mon you two, let's go. Don't want to keep Uncle Gabe waiting." Maggie grabbed her coat and keys and the three headed for the door.

The drive into town was short and Rory told her sister that they'd take a cab home so not to wait up. Steve got out of the car, holding the door open for Rory.

"Woah." He breathed, gazing around at the view of the Potomac and Roosevelt Island.

"See why you needed the suit?" Rory grinned, taking his arm again and leading him down along the waterfront toward the restaurant. Steve grunted a response and shook his head in amusement. She was right of course. His old suit would never have stood up in this place.

He turned heads as they walked, like he usually did but no one stopped them.

"Hello and welcome to _Sequoia_." The waitress spoke at both of them with a wide smile. It took a moment for surprise to register on her face as she realised who Steve was. She glanced hastily in the book, probably looking for _Captain America_ as a reservation. "Do you have a reservation, Captain America, Sir?" She glanced at them again and Rory bit back a laugh.

"It's just –"

"Yes we do." Rory answered, interrupting him. "We're with Senator Jones."

The waitress ran her finger down the list. "Senator Jones and his granddaughter are already here. You'll be dining by the waterfront. This way please." She turned and beckoned them to follow her. They wound through the diners until the reached outside, Steve walked stiffly and Rory threaded her arm through his, holding him tightly.

" _Relax_."

"I'm nervous."

"I know, but relax. Uncle Gabe is _so_ excited."

"It's the first time in 70 years I've seen him and he'll be –" Steve couldn't force the 'O' word out. "Maybe I'm not ready for this." He felt himself slowing down and Rory nudged him.

"Don't be silly, Steve. You'll be fine. I promise." She gripped his arm tighter, reassuring him it would be fine and he tried smiled at her but only managed a thin-lipped grimace. Rory shook her head, squeezing his forearm tightly.

The view outside was spectacular, the Georgetown waterfront lit up like it was on fire but Steve couldn't focus on it. Instead he focused on the white haired man being helped to his feet by a young woman no older than Rory.

"I can do it Beth, I'm old not disabled."

"I know Gramps, I'm just helping."

Steve grasped Rory's hand tightly as he recognised the voice. It was older with more of a gravelly tone than he remembered but there was no argument as to who it was. When the man straightened he got a good look at his old friend.

Gabe Jones had been the youngest of the Howling Commandos unit, which placed his current age of 81. He looked old though, Steve thought. Weathered. His once smooth face now wrinkled, his skin almost faded. It felt like he'd only seen the man yesterday and he'd aged over night.

"Dear god." Gabe spoke, his sharp brown eyes twinkling.

"Gramps?" The woman spoke before following his gaze. "Rory!"

"Beth!" Rory let go of Steve's arm to embrace the dark skinned girl. Steve was rooted to the spot. "Uncle Gabe. It's been too long." She hugged the man too and then placed her arm around his shoulders. "Uncle Gabe, this is Steve Rogers. I believe you two know each other."

"Gabe?" Steve's voice was small and Rory dropped her arm from around Gabe and walked back over to him. She looped her arm through his again and leant into his side, supportive and strong beside him. He was glad, he wasn't sure he was going to be able to stay upright much longer. Doctor Holstein had been right. This was more of a shock than he'd been expecting. "Gabe Jones?"

"Rogers?" Gabe's voice wavered slightly and Rory knew this was a shock for her Uncle as well. Beth took her Gramps' hand. "You haven't aged a day, man."

"It's good to see you." Steve smiled, holding out his hand. Gabe looked at it a moment before taking it and shaking it. Then he let out a loud laugh and threw his arms around Steve's neck. His shoulder shook slightly and Beth rubbed his back, exchanging a small and relieved smile with Rory.

"We thought you were gone for good, man. Never stopped looking but… you were gone." Gabe said as he pulled away, still resting his hands on Steve's shoulders. There were tears glistening in his eyes and Steve hastily rubbed his.

"I was dead, technically." Steve shrugged, sniffling hard. Gabe shook his head and reached for Beth. "But they fished me out, good as new."

"Good as new? Barely changed and my memory isn't what it used to be." Gabe chuckled. He reached around and took Beth's hand, tugging her to face Steve. "This is my granddaughter, Elizabeth Triplett." Gabe patted her hand affectionately. "Beth, this is Steve Rogers. He saved my life too many times to count during the war. I owe him everything."

"It's good to meet you." Steve shook her hand, a bashful smile on his smooth features. Rory noted the blush with a smirk and smothered a chuckled. "Gabe returned the favour more times than I can count too." He assured her with a quick nod.

"You're so young…" Beth blinked at him. She shifted her gaze to Rory. "You didn't tell me he was so young and he's so good looking." She raised an eyebrow in amusement. Steve's cheeks reddened.

"I figured you'd realise he would be when I said he hadn't aged a day." Rory snorted, linking her arm through Steve's again. He smiled down at her so very grateful she was there with him.

"Uncle Tim and Aunt Peg did like to talk about you a lot, I feel like I know you already." Beth nodded fondly with a laugh. "Shall we sit?" She gestured to the table that overlooked the Georgetown waterfront. The foursome sat and opened up the menus.

"I still can't believe you're sitting in front of me," Gabe said, his menu open but his eyes on Steve in disbelief. "How? I mean I know about the serum but you really haven't aged a day, man."

"I'm… not exactly sure." Steve shook his head, pausing while the waitress took their drink orders. He wound his hand under the table and took Rory's, needing something to ground him.

She glanced at him in surprised but when she saw the look on his face she tightened her grip. He needed her, she realised, to help keep himself together. "S.H.I.E.L.D believes the serum solidified my blood and cells?" He looked at Rory for some help and she nodded.

"Kind of like cryogenics." She supplied easily, giving his hand a squeeze. Beth grinned.

"I'm a research scientist at Georgetown U. I find everything to do with you absolutely fascinating." Beth poured herself and her grandfather a glass of water, smiling brightly at Steve. "I'd love to figure it all out; the formula, your freezing, your thawing. Replication would be the ultimate goal, then distribution."

"Please don't." Steve groaned. He glanced at her apologetically when she looked surprised. "The last people that did… it… well, it ended badly. For them, I mean." He sighed, shaking his head thinking of Bruce Banner.

"Oh I wouldn't. I'm specifically a molecular robotics engineer but word in the science community is that there are a lot of people hiring scientists to try and recreate you." Beth smiled thinly. "Even I've been approached by a few places and I only dabbled in molecular biology in college."

"You're not going with SHIELD." Gabe grunted, shaking his head. Beth patted her grandfather's hand. "Trip is enough."

"Trip?" Steve inquired, eyebrows rising in question.

"Beth's brother. Antoine, but he hates Antoine." Gabe explained with a chuckle. "Their last name is Triplett. I only had girls, you see. Three of them. No one to carry my damn name."

"Trip is an agent with SHIELD too, like Rory," Beth continued with a nod.

"Only he's stationed in California for the moment. Keeps an eye on Stark now and then." Rory added with a grin.

"Does Stark know?"

"Are you kidding?" She chuckled, shaking her head. "He just thinks Trip is there to hang out. He didn't take it well when he figured out what my job was when I dropped by to babysit. He thinks Trip is a basketball star for UC Santa Barbara."

Steve snorted, breathing slowly to try and relax. The waitress came over with their bottle of wine and poured them all a glass. For the first time since he woke up, Steve wished alcohol had some kind of effect on him, even just to calm his nerves.

"To old friends and reuniting," Gabe said, holding up his glass.

"To old friends," Steve, Beth and Rory echoed, each clinking their glasses against the others before taking a sip. They were distracted for the moment while they decided what to eat, Rory pointing out suggestions to Steve when he gave her lost looks. The menu was a little fancier than he was used to but in the end, they both chose soft shell crab salad for an appetiser, while Rory ordered the braised duck and Steve chose the filet beef with potato mash and greens.

"So when did you become a senator, Gabe?" Steve asked once the waitress disappeared. "I never pegged you as one for politics."

"Well this is my second term, after some time in the house I upgraded." Gabe spoke and Rory let her mind wander. She knew Gabe's life story like the back of her hand. She felt a foot nudge hers under the table and she glanced at Beth.

"Excuse me, gentlemen I need to use the ladies." She caught Rory's eye and gave her a look.

"Oh, yeah me too." Rory agreed and the two women stood. They walked toward the bathroom together, Rory glancing over her shoulder one last time to make sure Steve would be ok.

"I figured giving them some time alone would be best." Beth said as they walked. "Let Gramps waffle about his life again. You know he just about fell over when I told him whom we were having dinner with. I don't think he quite believed me until he saw Steve."

"Steve will be hanging onto every single word I can assure you." Rory laughed and pushed open the heavy wooden door. "He was so nervous, you have no idea. In his mind he only saw Gabe yesterday."

"Gramps was nervous too. So incredibly nervous I didn't think he was going to make it."

"I almost had to drag Steve through the restaurant!"

The girls laughed.

"How have you been, though?" Beth asked, approaching the sink to reapply some lipstick. "It's been forever since I last saw you."

"I know, I've been so busy with work." Rory sighed, crossing her arms over her stomach as she lean her hip against the sink. "I've been good though."

"That's great." Beth grinned. "I have some news… I might be joining you in New York soon, for a couple of months."

Rory let out a gasp and then grinned. "Really?! Why?!"

"Tony makes a very persuasive argument as to why he needs me on his robotics team." She smirked, pushing her sleek hair over her shoulder. "I haven't told Gramps yet because of how close Tony is with SHIELD right now, but the contract technically doesn't start for another month so I have time to change my mind."

"That's so great! Congratulations!"

"Thanks. Maybe we can be roomies one day." Beth grinned smugly, fixing her skirt in the mirror. She'd always been tall and slinky and Rory had envied her effortless beauty. "So what's Steve like when he's not completely nervous?"

Rory couldn't help the smile that pulled at her lips.

"He's lovely. Very smart; an old soul but when he stops trying to be all polite and uptight he's got this sense of humour that is just wicked." She said, turning to her reflection to fix her hair. "I can see why he was chosen for the Super Soldier program."

"He's hot too so that helps the whole charming thing." Beth snorted. "He's single, right?"

"Right, but still so hung up on Grandma," Rory pulled a face. "It's going to be a while before that flame dies."

"I can help speed that up." Beth winked at Rory's reflection and Rory laughed.

"Good luck! That man has values tighter than my SHIELD suit and the most ridiculous self control." She shook her head. Beth gave her an approving look.

"You've tried?" Her grin was wide, her teeth white and Rory's eyes widened.

"What? _No_?" She laughed, shaking her head.

"I mean I don't blame you and damn girl, it's about time. Seriously, after that last jackass like how many years ago? You deserve a buff superhero to move on with." Beth continued and Rory rolled her eyes in amusement.

"I don't have a buff superhero to move on with!" Rory held her hands up in defence. "We all make mistakes. Remember Malcolm? Hmm?" She poked her friend in the side.

"I thought we agreed _never_ to say his name again." Beth poked her back with a laugh.

Rory checked her reflection once more, readjusting the pearls against her skin, and then they left, headed back to the table.

"I will never understand what you girls do in the bathrooms that takes so damn long." Gabe shook his head and gestured to the table. "The food arrived and we're starving."

"You didn't have to wait for us!" Rory laughed, taking her seat. Steve shook his head.

"It's fine." He replied, picking up his fork.

"We know how you girls are." Gabe winked at Rory and she smiled. "Besides, it gave us a chance to relax. Get used to having Steve back. Have you seen Dugan and Peg yet?"

"Uh no." Steve shook his head. "I wanted to –"

"Pa and Grandma were a little busy this weekend." Rory supplied for him, hearing the hitch in his voice. "It was such short notice, I'm sure he'll see them soon."

"Right." Steve nodded. "Been busy with work too."

"Oh we saw you on the TV. I figured they'd stuffed a new guy into the suit." Gabe shook his head. "Never thought it'd be you."

"He was _outraged_ that they might have stuffed a new guy into the suit." Beth supplied, earning a look from her grandfather and a laugh from Steve.

"Dugan never told you?"

"I suppose it was classified, right?" Gabe glanced at Rory.

"Very much so." Rory nodded. "Pa didn't know much and I wasn't allowed to be around him at all so they sent me on a mission."

"SHIELD think they know best." Gabe sighed. "It's why I never took the jobs they were offering me. I paid my dues, stuck with the Commandos under Nicky for a while after Dugan and Peg got out; but then I got out. Couldn't handle it anymore."

Beth exchanged a glance with Aurora and Rory could see why she hadn't told her grandfather yet. Stark Industries may not have been SHIELD but he was feeding into them more and more. Gabe wouldn't like that his granddaughter was so close to the action.

"Yeah? Sounds like you did the right thing." Steve muttered. A waiter came and took their empty plates. "SHIELD doesn't stand for what it used to."

"Captain America's not supposed to think like that." Beth said with a chuckle.

"Captain America and I are different people, ma'am." Steve admitted. "But at least I'm not a show pony anymore."

"I don't know. The suit is a bit showy." Rory interjected, teasing him lightly.

"I thought you liked my suit." He smirked at her, his knee bumping hers under the table.

"I like how you _look_ in the suit." She replied, a devilish look crossing her face as she bumped him back. "I never said I actually liked the _suit_."

Steve barked out a laugh, his knee coming to rest against hers as he shook his head.

"I do prefer the old one, the one you wore in the good days." Gabe spoke up, his eyes moving from Rory to Steve happily. "That was a damn fine suit."

"SHIELD redesigned it. I already asked if I could have my other one back but they said no." Steve shook his head, frowning slightly.

"It's on display at the Smithsonian." Beth said, shrugging a shoulder. "Have you seen the exhibit yet?"

"No, not yet. I've heard some about it though." He glanced at Rory, leaning back in his seat to place an arm around the back of her chair. "I was hoping we'd go tomorrow?" He touched a hand to her shoulder and brushed a stray curl away.

"That was the plan." Rory smiled, nodding and leaning into his touch. "You can't come to D.C. without seeing it. It's got your entire history there. It's a pretty impressive exhibit."

"They're adding an Avenger's side of things too." Gabe grinned, his eyes wrinkling. "A monument to superheroes."

"SHIELD will have kittens." Rory laughed.

"They're adding in those mutants who saved Ellis Island a few years back, as well as that ridiculous Spiderman who zips around New York." Beth explained further. Rory chuckled.

"Don't tell me you read the crap _The Bugle_ pushes out, do you Beth?" She shook her head. "Spiderman isn't so bad."

"Spiderman?" Steve's eyebrows knitted together. "Who is Spiderman?"

"That's the million dollar question Cap." Rory chuckled. "He's a guy who stops petty crime around Manhattan. The Daily Bugle newspaper has something against him so they paint him as a criminal. He's not."

"He's not?"

"No."

"Is he apart of the Avengers initiative?" Steve frowned, leaning forward on his elbows. Rory shook her head, sipping her wine.

"No one knows who he is. Kind of hard to ask a guy who's nameless and faceless." She said, shrugging a shoulder lightly. "We keep tabs on him, he's pretty good at what he does."

"Mm I guess." Beth waved a hand. "It's just weird that he never shows his face."

"It's his job. You don't want bad guys knowing your true identity."

"Yeah, ok Miss Super spy." Beth laughed, balling up her napkin to throw at her friend.

"I'm a spy, I don't publicly go and catch bad guys. It's more of an under the table gig." She chuckled, leaning back in her seat.

When the main course arrived, Steve and Gabe began to reminisce about some of their missions in the war. Beth and Rory had both heard them a hundred times over at least but having Steve's perspective there made it like they were new again. Rory was just glad Steve had relaxed.

He was laughing at memories now instead of getting that lost look in his eye and he didn't seemed as embarrassed as he usually would have been when he realised the joke he was telling "wasn't suitable for women's ears". He did however blush hard when Rory finished it for him having heard it from Dugan more than once.

It wasn't until thunder rumbled in the distance and a light breeze picked up off the water that the foursome realised how late it actually was.

"It's been great seeing you again Rogers." Gabe was the first to stand, shrugging off Beth's helping hand.

"If you're ever in New York, please look me up." Steve held out his hand and Gabe took it, pulling him in for another hug.

"I'm in New York quite often so I will definitely take you up on that." He assured him. "Hell, we'll get Dugan and Falsworth there as well. It'll be like old times."

"Mm just remember Gramps that you're 81, not 28." Beth rolled her eyes but gave a loving smile to the old man. She hugged Rory tightly. "It was so good to see you again, I hate how far away we both live."

"It's really not that far, Beth." Rory laughed. "Come to New York when Uncle Gabe does? Or sooner?" She winked and Beth grinned.

"Oh alright fine. You twisted my arm." She laughed. She turned to Steve. "Nice to meet you, Steve. I've heard so much about you it's hard to believe you're real."

"Lovely to meet you too, Beth." He hugged the woman tightly. The four of them walked out and Rory and Steve waved as Gabe and Beth got into a car the valet had pulled around.

"That was fun." Steve said with a long and happy sigh.

The air shifted around them again, the temperature dropping. Rory shivered and she nodded. "I'm glad you had a good time. Wasn't so scary was it."

Steve shook his head, shrugging out of his jacket as he did so.

"It was a shock but he's still the same man." He smiled fondly as he draped the jacket around her shoulders. He laughed when she looked at him in surprise. The jacket engulfed her slight frame easily and when she stuck her hands through the sleeves her hands disappeared. "You look like a little kid." He chuckled, pulling on the lapel slightly.

Rory grinned and pulled the coat around her. It was warm and big and smelled ridiculously good, Calvin Klein _Eternity_ was the scent of the Superhero it seemed. She inhaled again, drowning in the scent.

"Reminds me of when I used to take Grant's hoodies and use them. They were so much nicer than mine but he'd get so mad because I never gave them back." She laughed and Steve smiled and looked around for a cab, coming up empty.

Rory took her phone out of her purse. "I'll call for the cab –"

"You wanna walk back?" Steve asked, looking down at the empty taxi rank.

"Really?" Rory raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's not even a mile… 15 minutes max." He shrugged and looked up. There were still some stars in the sky so the storm hadn't come over just yet. It might rain on them, he thought, rubbing his chin.

"It's gonna rain." Rory read his mind.

"We'll make it." He promised her and held out his arm.

Rory looked back at the empty cab rank and sighed. The walked wouldn't kill them and neither would the rain. She took his arm.

"Alright. But if I get rained on I'm going to kill you." She started to lead him away from the restaurant.

"You won't." He assured her.

"Kill you or get rained on?"

"Both."

She met his grin and shook her head, trying to look appropriately annoyed but failing completely. The night was brisk but nice and the city was murmuring quietly around them.

"So you never told me about your date." Steve asked as they waited for a traffic light to change to red so they could cross the road. "Simon, or whatever his name was."

"It wasn't worth mentioning, I guess." She shrugged, pulling herself into him more as a breeze picked up. "I had a good time but I'm just not interested."

"I get the feeling you're not interested in a lot of men who you catch the eye of." Steve said as they started to walk again. Rory shrugged.

"It's not that many and no, I'm not really. I've made mistakes when it comes to men and I'd rather not repeat them." She explained, giving him a glance. He didn't say anything, just looked back at her and waited silently for an explanation.

Her past wasn't something she spoke about often, mostly because it embarrassed her, but she found herself wanting to tell him.

"My last guy was meant to be it. We met in high school, he was the year above me, and we had all these big plans for marriage and kids and a house… but when things started to get serious – like when I graduated and we found a place in Boston so I could go to college where he went – things turned weird."

"Weird?" Steve asked, steering her through a small throng of people. He relinked their arms once they passed them.

"Weird like he changed completely. Got really controlling, bullied me, pulled me away from my family. He was different. He wasn't the sweet guy I fell really hard for. He told me where to go, what do wear, who we were seeing… and I went with it like there was nothing wrong with what he was doing." Rory's voice was soft and she shivered a shiver that had nothing to do with the wind. Steve was silent with surprise. It was an unexpected revelation that Aurora had once been something other than the proud, stubborn and headstrong woman he knew and loved.

"It was his idea that I go to Boston College because he said I would be too far away at SHIELD Academy. So I started in psychology with the hopes to get into the CIA Behavioural Analyst program. He suggested I change to major in English a semester later because Psych seemed too hard for me." She gave an eye roll and Steve blinked.

"Sounds like a real charmer." He said dryly.

"Oh he was. Always had 'suggestions' on how to do things better." She quoted with her fingers as they came to another set of lights. "Really though, his suggestions were his way of controlling me. He made me feel like I was nothing without him."

"How long were you with this guy?" Steve asked, moving his arm from hers to place it around her shoulders.

"I met him when I was 15 and I was almost 20 when I woke up to myself." She answered. "The last 2 years were the worst. He started a huge fight between Mags and I. I didn't talk to her for two years." Rory admitted, a ball of guilt welling up in her stomach.

"That's intense." Steve breathed out. He couldn't imagine this at all.

"She saw what an asshole he was. She tried to tell me but I didn't want to hear it. I think I knew it was true but the more she fought me over it, the more I fought back." Rory gave a small laugh, leaning into Steve's side as they walked. Her heels clicked on the pavement as she fell silent once more.

"He didn't ever…" Steve's voice was tight when he spoke again and Rory looked up at him. There was a tick in his jaw as he clenched and unclenched it and she knew immediately what he was thinking.

"Will it make you think less of me if I say yes?" She asked sadly. Her voice was so soft he almost missed it but he didn't and it hit him like a slap in the face.

Steve's eyes widened and he stopped dead in the street. "No. Never. Not for a moment." He shook his head seriously. His blood boiled at the thought of someone hurting the beautiful creature on his arm right now. "Can I kill him?"

She laughed and tugged on him, threading her arm around his waist.

"Grant and Tim already threatened him but I suppose Captain America would add an element of awesome." She grinned. "That's kind of how I got out. He broke my arm one night when I found out he was messaging a girl in his engineering class. I wasn't even mad, I just asked him about her and he flipped out. I had to go to the ER the next day because it was double the size and I could barely move from the pain. Turned out he broke it clean in two. Alison was doing her internship there, saw everything."

"Grant's wife?" Steve stretched his memory back to her family and he eyes widened in delighted surprise.

"Yeah, except they weren't married then. She knew who I was and told me that if I didn't contact my brother and tell him, she would, doctor-patient confidentially be damned. It was obvious he'd done it because there was a perfect handprint around my arm and my neck." She rubbed her throat, remembering what it had felt like to be choked by someone she loved.

"Remind me to thank her whenever I meet her." Steve grumbled. His grip was tight around her shoulders as they turned onto Maggie's street.

"I'm still trying." Rory replied. "But that was 5 years of my life that I won't ever get back and I just… would rather do what I want to do than be with someone." She said with a sigh, smiling. Steve couldn't imagine her face without it and he never wanted to see her like that.

"I understand that." Steve nodded. "You've got plenty of time."

"Exactly. I'm only 26."

"You've done a lot within SHIELD for being so young." Steve commented proudly.

"I graduated high school young and when I split with Jason," The first time she'd said his name aloud in so many years. It sounded foreign and strange but didn't scare her like it used to. "I quit Boston College and applied straight for SHIELD Academy in the Field Agent intake. I never wanted to feel helpless again and my scores were some of the highest in the academy. Which is how I landed Clint as my S.O. and Natasha as a mentor."

"You had the drive. You shouldn't look back on that relationship as something you regret. It taught you a lot." Steve said sagely and Rory stopped for a second. He had a very good, very profound point.

"That is the truest thing I have ever heard." She breathed as they walked up the front steps to Maggie's house. "Thank you."

"For what?" Steve looked bewildered and she laughed.

"Not thinking less of me." She smiled and reached for the key in the eves. "The few people I've told have looked down on me for staying with him for so long. Not many understand that you don't see it how they see it when you're in that situation."

"I could never think less of you." Steve shook his head. A rumble of thunder behind them made him turn. "Told you we'd make it before the storm." He grinned as she pushed the door open.

"Yeah, yeah." She said in a hushed whisper. "I didn't realise how late it was." She murmured as they passed the clock in the kitchen that had just struck 11.

They crept up the stairs and Rory paused at her door as Steve passed.

"Did you have a good time?" She asked him, her hand on the handle.

"I did, thank you." He said, nodding his head. He felt better, lighter even and he was glad he'd met up with Gabe that night.

"Good. We'll get around to meeting the others, I promise." Rory said and Steve believed her. He didn't think she was the type to promise something she couldn't deliver.

"I don't doubt that, ma'am." He chuckled.

"Night Steve, I'll see you in the morning." She disappeared inside her room and he watched her go, smiling and happy that he'd found a friend like her.

* * *

Author's Note: Thanks for reading. If you liked it, tell people! Comment, like, share. I just want people to read my words and my story. I enjoy writing it.

Playlist

Down and Out - The Academy Is...

Figure it Out - Royal Blood

Kiss with a Fist - Florence & The Machine


	12. One Safe Place

Show Me That You're Human

Chapter 12: One Safe Place

* * *

Rory awoke with a start as a loud crack of thunder made her windows rattle. The storm that hadn't seemed like much when they'd gotten home after midnight had escalated to something bigger in the early hours of the morning, waking her and probably everyone in the neighbourhood.

She sat up in her bed, her heartbeat slowing after the sudden shock and checked the time. The red lights indicated it was a little after 4 in the morning so she hadn't been asleep long at all. She sighed and sank back into the pillows listening to the rain pound on the roof. She shut her eyes again, waiting for sleep to come.

Her eyes opened again when she heard a bang from the room over, Steve's room, and she stilled, holding her breath to see if she would hear it again.

She sat up when she heard someone yell.

"Steve?" She called, swinging her legs out of bed as she headed for the door that joined their rooms by the bathroom. She opened the door and stood inside the bathroom, waiting for another sound.

Thunder rumbled overhead again and she held her breath as something smashed in his room.

"Roar?" She heard Maggie call out to her and she hurried back into her room. "Roar, is everything ok?"

"Shh!" She hushed her sister. "I think Steve's having an episode." She said in a quiet voice, seeing her sister in the doorway as lightning flashed around the room.

"Like Grant?" Maggie asked, holding her arms across herself. The fear in her sisters eyes was real, but it was crossed with worry, as she remember what Grant had been like in the early days.

"Yeah." Rory nodded, nibbling on her lip as she tried to decide what to do. "Go back to your room and stay there. I'm gonna try and talk him down." There was another thud and she winced.

"Be careful." Maggie whispered. Grant hadn't been the nicest person when he wasn't in his right mind and her worry was warranted.

Rory sucked in a deep breath and went back to the bathroom.

She knocked on the door lightly. "Steve?" She called in a soft voice. "Steve it's Rory – Aurora." She corrected, thinking about how Steve only ever called her by her full name. "Are you ok?"

There was silence on the other side of the door for a long minute.

"I'm gonna open the door, ok?" She told him, raising her voice ever so slightly. "I'm opening it now." She turned the handle and pushed it.

The room was dark and she couldn't make out any movement or figure in the dim light.

"Steve?" She called softly. "It's me, it's Aurora. Just wanted to make sure you were ok…"

"Aurora?" His voice was dazed and she relaxed again.

"Yeah, hey, it's me." She called. She walked into the room and fumbled for the light switch, finding the power dead. "Where are you? The power's gone."

"What are you doing here Aurora?" His voice was gruff and she pulled up short.

"I'm looking for you." She said softly.

"You're not meant to be here, you're not military."

"Military?" She inquired.

"This is a warzone."

She made herself laugh as she realized he hadn't come out of the episode yet.

"What do you mean? It's just a bedroom, Steve. You're having a nightmare." She backtracked her steps, hoping to get to the bathroom so she was somewhat safe.

"Nightmare?" His voice sounded dazed and she paused.

"Yeah, honey. It's just a nightmare. There's a storm… you're not where you think you are, you're in –"

A rumble of thunder echoed around the room and there was a flash of lightning. She swore, catching sight of his ramrod straight figure on the other side of the bed watching her.

"GET DOWN!" He yelled and Rory had a split second to watch his mammoth frame leap from the bed toward her. She dodged, turning to sprint back to the bathroom but his arm caught her shoulder. It sent her slamming into the floor. He dragged her toward him like she was a ragdoll and he curled his body around her as if to protect her from some unseen enemy.

"Ooofph, Steve!" She gasped, the air crushed out of her lungs at the sudden movement. She knew this was just a dream but she was still scared. She didn't know what to do or how to break him out of it, not without hurting him and even then she had her doubts as to whether she could move a Super Soldier.

"Mortars. They almost got us." He groaned, his breath hot against her ear. "We gotta stay low. Stay low and head east. Jones! Jones follow us now! Someone get Dernier!"

"No… no we don't. Steve, it's just a storm, there's nothing there." She tried to twist but he had her stuck tight. She sucked in a deep breath and tried to think about what her grandmother would do in a situation like this. What would she have done with Grant? "Steve, you need to let me go."

"Can't. You might get hurt. You can't get hurt." He shook his head. Lightning lit up the room again and she saw him looking down at her. His hand came up and he smoothed her hair.

Wiggling, she was able to extract her arm and she brought it up to his hand on her cheek.

"I won't get hurt. You're not there Steve." She said with a little bit of force. She pinched his fingers and the back of his hand. "You're in D.C. In a bedroom. There's a storm."

"Storm?" He blinked. "What –"

"Just a little storm." She soothed. He blinked again as the lights sprang back on and then his body stiffened. "Oh thank _fuck_." she muttered and he looked down at her under him, his eyes wide and confused. She tightened her grip on his hand, pressing her lips to his knuckles.

"Shit." He muttered the curse as he exhaled.

"Hey. Welcome back." She murmured. Her hip and shoulder ached and she was getting pins and needles in her foot from the way she was sitting on it but they were ok.

"I'm _so_ sorry." He let her go quickly, skidding backward onto his ass until he hit the bed, bringing his knees up in front of him. He rested his elbows on them and scrubbed his hands through his hair.

"Shh, shh it's ok." She scooted toward him, ignoring the aches. "It was just an episode. It's nothing."

"Did I – did I hurt you?" He stammered out. She could see his throat bob as he swallowed rapidly and he didn't look at her.

"Nah, I'm pretty tough." She said with a shaky laugh. She wasn't hurt too bad. A bruise or too, it wasn't anything she couldn't handle. "Are you ok? That seemed pretty rough."

"I'm fine." He growled then he sighed and looked up. "Sorry. I'm… I'm fine."

He looked strung out, like he'd been on a heavy bender and hadn't slept in days. Rory scooted up next to him and rested her back against the bed beside him.

"Wanna tell me about it?" She asked softly.

He was silent for a long time, long enough for her to think he wasn't going to talk about it.

"France. I think it was 1940. One of the few missions we almost didn't make it out of." He muttered finally. "I guess the thunder… reminded me of the mortars. Your grandmother was there for that one." He sniffed hard and Rory heard the crack in his voice. "I think I broke the lamp." She looked up and realized he was talking about the remnants of the lamp that were in the corner of the room. That would have been the crash she'd heard.

"It's ok. Easily replaced." She waved a hand. She brought a hand up absently and rubbed her shoulder as it ached again. Steve didn't miss her wince of pain.

"I'm really sorry."

"I've had worse, trust me. Broken arm, remember?" She smiled, turning her head to look at him. His eyes were rimmed red and she reached for his hand. "As long as you're ok."

He let out a bitter chuckle and let her link their fingers, let her rest it on her knee and cover it with her other hand. She tilted her head and rested it on his shoulder.

"Oh I'm peachy. Picture of perfect health." He was being sarcastic and it dripped from his tone. His cheeks were burning hot, red with embarrassment as tears slipped past his dark lashes. He wiped them away hastily struggling to breath past the lump in his throat.

"You know this is normal, right?" Rory said softly. "You've been to war. You've woken up in a time that's not your own. No one is judging you for having a mental break."

"I was at war 70 years ago. I've been awake for three months –"

"Three months isn't that long, Steve. 12 weeks." She squeezed his hand tightly. "You're doing remarkably well for it only been three months but you're not expected to be perfect all the time."

"Sure feels like it." He muttered.

"Well I certainly hope I don't make you feel like you have to." Rory frowned, lifting her head. Steve looked at her. He didn't think anyone had looked at him with so much worry in their faces since Peggy Carter, 70 years earlier.

"Everyone makes me feel like I have to." He admitted, wiping his face on the back of his free hand again, even though she'd seen him cry. "SHIELD wants Captain America. My Team wants Captain America. The world wants Captain America. They don't want Steve Rogers: Man with Mental Problems."

Rory frowned and he clapped his mouth shut. It was bad enough he had freaked out on her and dragged her to the ground, now he was complaining about things neither of them could change and he was _crying_.

Embarrassment flooded his cheeks again and he tried to pull his hand from hers.

"Wait just a minute," she held him tightly, her tone chastising. Her hands were warm around his cold fingers and she gripped tightly. "I haven't _ever_ expected you to be 'Captain America', Steve. Ever. I know people treat you differently because they want the other guy but I know I haven't. At least, I've tried not to." She added in a smaller voice.

He let out a sigh, sharp and frustrated and Rory could see the sadness behind them as their gazes held.

" _You_ haven't. You really haven't." He assured her. She was one of the only people who hadn't treated him differently because of the other guy. It was part of the reason why he wanted to see her so often. She always asked about him, made him feel like he was wanted as a person and not a weapon. "Thank you… but others… others I just feel I have to be this whole other person or they won't…" He waved a hand, shaking his head.

"You're not mental, Steve." She shook her head, choosing not to push him any further. He'd talk about it when he was ready. "Everyone has things they gotta deal with. They're lying if they say they don't. You've stepped up to your mark when you've been needed but you gotta look after yourself so you can keep doing that."

She made the world of sense and he nodded miserably. He wiped his eyes. He didn't know what else to say but his eyes stung and he felt awful and he couldn't hold it in anymore. He was a man out of time and he was still trying to handle it. He buried his face in his hands and inhaled deeply. His ears were ringing and he felt sick to his stomach.

He vaguely felt Aurora stand up and then a box of tissues was thrust under his nose before she sat beside him again, her long legs pressed against his own. He took them, embarrassed that he was crying like a child in front of her but he couldn't stop. He'd been trying so hard over the past 3 months to get it together but everything was different and everything was hard.

He took steadying breaths and huffed out an apology for crying.

"There's nothing wrong with crying." She waved his apology away.

"Men don't cry." He said simply.

Aurora shifted beside him, rising up on her knees. She untangled their hands and placed both on his cheeks, forcing him to look at her.

"That is actual _bullshit_." She said softly, each word punctuated by a click of her teeth. Her amber eyes glowed fiercely and he believed every word she said. "Anyone can cry. _Anyone_." Her thumbs wiped the tear tracks away and then she moved, wrapping her arms around him to pull him in close.

Steve stiffened awkwardly, unsure of where to put his hands but the embrace felt good, too good. It had been a long time since someone had held him like this. His mother, actually, if memory served. He relaxed after a moment, instinct taking over, his arms wrapping tightly around her waist and his face burying into her neck.

For three months people had treated him as a weapon, as something special and precious that would break if they touched him.

But not her. Never her. She treated him like a person and he couldn't ever thank her enough for normalizing an otherwise abnormal situation.

"C'mon, stand up." He heard her say as he felt her pull away from him. He was reluctant to let her go but she kept her hand on his arm so she didn't disappear completely. She traced a finger from his forearm to his hand as she stood, taking it and tugging on him.

He stood and she pushed him to the bed, making him get back into it. He watched her turn off the light, half wishing she would leave it on so he wouldn't be alone in the dark but it didn't matter because a beat later the other side of the bed was dipping and she was sliding into the sheets beside him.

Her hand found his again.

"I'm sorry –"

"Don't. Don't apologize. You have nothing to be sorry for. You're human." Her voice was soft and soothing and it matched the low rumbles of thunder, which signaled that the storm had passed.

"You know I'm not going to sleep again, right?" He managed to say, staring up at the dark ceiling.

"So? It's like 4:30 in the morning. I'm definitely going to sleep." She yawned and he laughed. "I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks. I… I appreciate it. You really are something, you know that?"

The only response he received was her squeezing his fingers and then he listened to her breathing even out as she drifted off back to sleep.

* * *

Steve's eyes opened when he heard the chiming of a phone somewhere to his left. He groaned and blinked, surprised to see sun shining through the window.

He'd slept. Again. For the second time after an episode he'd fallen back to sleep and he hadn't had another one.

And it was because of –

"Yeah, yeah I'm up, what's up?" Her voice was groggy and tired from beside him and his head whipped around in surprise. He was sure she would have gone back to her room. She must have gotten her phone at some point but he hadn't felt her leave or come back, his sleep had been deeper than ever. "Oh you've got to be kidding." She groaned, her face pressed into the pillow.

Steve could feel her shifting, her foot pressed against his ankle and her leg pressed against his. He swallowed acutely aware that she was actually very close and the way his body was angled there was a high chance that before the phone had rung his whole body had been pressed against hers.

Which was another problem entirely because he definitely had a _southern_ visitor and if he'd been pressed against her she probably felt _everything_. His cheeks burned and he squeezed his eyes tight as she talked to whoever was on the phone. He was pretty sure it was Arthur, just from her tone.

"I think he's awake… I don't know. I'll check in a minute." She mumbled, shifting again. He slowed his breathing as she slid out from under the covers. She paused on the edge of the bed. "Jesus fuck, Arthur I literally just woke up. Shut up."

He tried not to smile at her sleep-thickened swearing. It was actually kind of adorable. He'd never been around women who swore a lot – Peggy had on occasion, but it was nothing like Aurora's mouth – and he'd always thought it unattractive… but somehow, Aurora, and even Natasha, made the words sound powerful and eloquent, as if by swearing they were stopping themselves from destroying something.

"Yeah, I'll talk to Darcy. She'll be able to sort this… what was that moron thinking?" Rory sighed and he felt the bed depress as she stood. She must have stretched because he heard her shoulders pop and then she let out a moan that did nothing to help the throbbing in his pants.

He took a deep breath and tried to think about anything other than that noise but he knew it wouldn't work. He'd been dealing with this since before the serum but the serum had amped his libido up to 10. Only a cold shower would fix this, he knew that for a fact.

"You think we should lay low in D.C. for a couple more days?" Her voice disappeared to a muffle as she walked back through the bathroom to her room and he opened his eyes, letting out the breath. Dealing with his morning visitors was usually easier because he had an apartment to himself. The thought that Rory had felt that was… well it was mortifying.

"Ok… yeah I'll tell him. I'll talk to you soon." Her voice grew louder as she came back into the room. He squeezed his eyes shut again. "Steve?" She questioned softly. "You awake?"

He felt her hand brush across his forehead and he let out a small sigh at her touch. She let out a soft breath of her own and then she was gone, the bathroom door closing with a snap behind her.

* * *

"So Tony has effectively told the whole world that the Avengers are living in his Tower?" Steve asked as he drained his coffee.

"Yup. It was on the news this morning." Maggie nodded, refilling the cup from the pot already in her hands. "I'm betting they're camped out front the tower as we speak, just waiting to catch a glimpse of the American Heroes." She smiled warmly, winking as he caught her eye. "It's a total nightmare at the Tower at the moment." Rory groaned, rolling her eyes into her pancakes. "Arthur rang this morning, I don't know if you heard, to tell me. He also said to tell you not to be recognized in D.C. today because the media are sniffing around for anything they can."

Steve grimace. "Right, so should we just stay in?" he asked, glancing at her.

"Are you kidding?" She rolled her eyes. "No. We're going to the museum… We'll just be careful."

He gave her a disbelieving look. He was 6'4, broad and very recognizable. Careful wasn't something they could easily attain.

"The same museum where there are 20 foot high banners with my face on them?" He asked in a skeptical tone. "My face that someone could see actually on me and put two and two together…" Maggie snorted a laugh at the dryness of his voice.

"The man has a point, Roar." She nodded and turned away from them.

"So?" Rory rolled her eyes again. "Hey, Jay?" She turned and called to her brother in law who was in the living room watching the news. "You got a baseball cap, a hoodie and some sunglasses we could borrow?"

"Yeah, sure, if you're trying to get the Smithsonian shut down with a suspicious looking man looking to blow the place up." Jay smiled back and she scowled at him.

"Fine. Just the cap and some glasses. I'll pop the lenses out and he'll be like Clark Kent." Rory shrugged, going back to her breakfast.

Steve stared at her, looking perplexed.

"Who?"

"Clark Kent? He's Superman's alter ego…" She said around a mouthful of bacon. Steve gave her a plank look. "Oh my god. Ok comic book store and then the Smithsonian. Jesus Christ you don't know who Superman is… you practically _are_ Superman." She shook her head, muttering to herself as she finished eating.

Steve shook his head, smirking into his food.

"I was actually thinking about getting my own place because of something like this." He said after a minute, the idea coming into his head again. He'd been thinking about it for a few weeks now, but he knew SHIELD wouldn't let him out of their sights, not this early in the game anyway. He was still too valuable to them. He turned to Rory to gauge her reaction.

"Really?" She asked, looking and sounding surprised.

"Sure. I can't live out of Tony's back pocket forever." He shrugged. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to bring this up. He needed her on board with it because he was counting on her to argue on his side.

"Where would you live?" She asked, propping her head up on her hands. Her brow was furrowed but she didn't look displeased.

"I've been looking around where the gym is in Brooklyn. It's a nice neighborhood, reminds me of my time and I can afford it." He replied, pushing his plate away. He picked up his coffee.

Rory hummed and nodded slowly. "You could, yeah. It would certainly give you some independence." She noted. "We'd have to work on Uncle Nicky though," She added and Steve smiled. She was going to help him. "He's not going to want to let you go."

"Yeah I know but I think I can make a good case. Did you want to come look with me, when I get back?" Steve asked, hesitating ever so slightly.

"Sure." Rory nodded with a smile, and he breathed a sigh of relief. "I need to look for my own apartment anyway. Insurance finally came through."

"That's good. Brooklyn?"

"Are you kidding? I'm definitely a Manhattan person and if SHIELD is staying in Stark Tower the commute is going to be awful." Rory wrinkled her nose.

"It's not that far." Steve grinned.

"You have a bike."

"There's a train."

Rory pushed herself away from the counter.

"Uh no way. I do not take public transport." She shook her head, wrinkling her nose.

"Didn't you know, Steve? Aurora is a princess." Maggie commented dryly, causing Rory to flip her sister off and Steve to choke on his coffee as he laughed.

* * *

Thankfully the Smithsonian wasn't _too_ busy. There were lots of tourists of course but none seemed to be paying the tall man with the Red Sox cap and thick-framed glasses any mind. Steve stuck his hands into the pockets of the jacket he'd borrowed from Jay because according to Rory _"You dress like you're from the 40s. They'll know straight away."_

"I can't believe you have a New Yorker in a Boston Red Sox cap." He grumbled, glancing around at people to make sure no one was watching.

"Oh shush. We're way better than the Yankees anyway." She elbowed him, paying the woman at the booth the admission to see the Captain America exhibit. She took the souvenir book as Steve looked away from the cashier, who was staring a little too hard at him.

"Yankees?" Steve scoffed. "I don't go for the Yankees. I go for the Dodgers." He huffed to her as she tugged on his jacket.

"Dodgers are a National team and they're from Los Angeles…" She corrected, frowning lightly. "So you're a New Yorker that goes for a West Coast team?"

"What?" He frowned and stared down at her. "No? Dodgers are from Brooklyn. I went and saw them play loads of times with my Dad and – holy _shit_." He swore as they rounded the corner and he caught a glimpse of himself on two banners at the entrance to the exhibit. "You weren't kidding."

"You swore! Don't hear that often." She grinned, looking up from something on her phone. "Oh look," She held it out to him. "Brooklyn Dodgers changed to LA in the 50s. Sorry pal, you're a Yankees fan or nothing." She patted his shoulder as he read the wiki article on her phone.

"Well that's bullshit." He sighed and gave it back to her, making her laugh again with his swearing. He touched the brim of his cap. "I guess I'm a Yankees fan. Forgive me father…" He crossed himself and Rory elbowed him again, laughing as she dragged him into the exhibit.

The exhibit was bigger than Rory had let on and a lump formed in Steve's throat as they moved slowly through. His face and his life covered every single surface, from his early days as a sick kid in Brooklyn to his later life with the Howling Commando's. There was something for every aspect. They even had the doodles he'd drawn while travelling around with the chorus line.

It was so overwhelming, especially when they got to the part about Bucky Barnes, the only Fallen Commando.

" _Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both school yard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling commando to give his life in service of his country"_

His jaw clenched tightly as the deep and clear voice explained who Bucky was and what he'd meant to Steve. He'd been more than just his friend. He'd been his brother. The only person who had ever looked after him after his mother had died… and it was his fault he was gone.

"Steve?" Rory's soft voice brought him back to reality and he turned to find her beside him. Her arm linked with his, a warm hand trailing down his arm to his. "You ok?"

"M'fine… This is… This is something else." He waved a hand around at the exhibit behind them. He was afraid to move and he wasn't sure what he wanted to look at next part. His whole life was laid out before him but it didn't seem real. "This is real swell."

"No one was forgotten, most of all you." She murmured quietly as she linked their fingers and pulled herself into him. He let her, enjoying the warmth her frame brought to him.

Steve looked over the mannequins, each wearing the individual uniforms of his commando team. "Bucky…" He murmured, his eyes falling on Bucky's mannequin. His breath caught in his throat and Rory rested her head on his shoulder.  
"There was nothing you could have done." She murmured, her fingers tightening around his.

"So people kept telling me but I can think of a hundred things I could have done differently to save him." Steve's voice was a rumble in his chest and Rory squeezed his hand tightly. "I should have jumped after him."

"That would have done nothing except get you both killed." Rory scolded, frowning.

"Least it would have been better than watching him fall."

He squeezed her fingers tight and took a few deep, steadying breaths. This had been a mistake. He wasn't ready to face this. He wasn't ready to admit 70 years had past.

"Hey, c'mon look at this." She tugged on his arm, walking away before he could protest. She led him over to the left of the room where a comparison showed pre and post serum Steve.

"You were shorter than I am." She murmured, stepping up beside the life-sized silhouette of pre-serum Steve. She grinned at him, as she stood tall, a good foot above his old height. He shook his head, returning her smile.

"A lot of people were taller." He muttered. He looked at pictures of when he first joined the military, how big the helmet over his head was. "Your Grandma punched that guy square in the nose." He pointed to a picture of Hodge and smiled at the memory.

"Was that when you fell in love with her? Because that's when Uncle Chester said you did." She stepped up beside him again, slipping her arm through his. His eyebrow rose at the thought of steely Colonel Philips being an Uncle but it was a nice image.

"No. I think it was her sharp shooting after Erskine's death. I saw her shoot a man through the windshield of a car at 30 feet."

"No wonder Pa snapped her up." Rory murmured. Steve grunted a response and she smiled softly, tugging him along to the next thing with their fingers still intertwined. "C'mon in here for a minute." She ushered him inside a small room after a group of people. They stood to the back, out of sight of everyone else.

"What are we –"

"Shh, it's starting." She hushed him.

Steve frowned as a movie projected against a wall. The Captain America song started to play and he audibly groaned. "Oh no…" He muttered, trying to back out of the room.

"Oh yes." Rory nodded, grabbing him around the waist to hold him in place, grinning as the ream of the propaganda act started to play. "Look at you in your cute little suit." She elbowed him "Are those _booty shorts_?" She dissolved into giggles at his expense. He closed his eyes as the version of himself on the screen started to talk. He pushed the glasses harder up his nose as a woman turned to look, placing a finger to her lips to shush them. A couple of kids in the front yelled out about Hitler being behind the chorus girls and he let out a chuckle.

" _We can't ignore there's a threat and a war we must win!_ _  
_ _Who'll hang a noose on the goose-stepping goons from Berlin?"_

He turned to Rory, his eyes wide. " _No_." He laughed when he realized she was singing along beside him.

" _Who will indeed lead the call for America?_ _  
_ _Who'll rise or fall, give his all, for America?_ _  
_ _Who's here to prove that we can?_ _  
_ _The Star Spangled Man with a plan!"_

"We need to leave," He shook his head, grabbing her hand to pull her from the room. She pulled back.

"No wait… Grandma Peg has an interview after this. I think you'll want to see it." She hushed her voice as the woman turned to shush them again. Steve pulled the brim of his cap down further and sighed, standing and waiting as his song finished and a voice explained exactly why Steve had done the shows.

Then there she was, a few years older than he remembered, but it was definitely her – His Peg – but her hair was shorter and curled tighter and she wore a tight band of pearls around her neck. She sat so primly, it was hard to believe she was ever in the military.

A lump formed in Steve's throat as her hand came up to adjust her pearls and he saw the rings on her finger. Engagement and wedding. She was already married by this time.

" _State your name, rank and your ties with Captain America."_ A voice asked and Peggy cleared her throat.

" _Margaret Carter, Director of SHIELD, I…_ " Steve's breath caught as Peg stopped her words. " _I was his friend. We were friends. Very good friends._ " A tight smile crossed her lips and Steve swallowed hard. Friends. They were friends. That's all they had ever been and that's all they would ever be.

Peggy talked about how she met Steve and what she'd seen in him initially. She talked about his pre and post serum days and even some of the Howling Commando missions.

" _That was a difficult winter. A blizzard had trapped half our battalion behind the German line. Steve...Captain Rogers, he fought his way through a HYDRA blockade that had pinned our allies down for months. He saved over a thousand men, including the man who would...who would become my husband as it turned out. Even after he died, Steve was still changing my life."_

Steve let out a small and involuntary sigh and Rory slipped her hand into his. The scene changed to him looking at a picture of Peggy in his compass and he felt Rory tug on his arm.

"C'mon." She murmured, her voice low. Steve followed, nodding. They walked into the open, ducking between people as they made their way through the last of the exhibit. "You ok?"

He looked down at her not sure what to say. He wasn't fine. Seeing Peggy like that was the hardest thing he'd done for a while but he had needed it. To know what it would be like to see her in person so he could be prepared for it.

"Yeah. Yeah I'm ok." He replied, giving her a small smile. "What year was that?"

Rory's nose wrinkled as she thought. "Well you went down in 42, Grandma and Grandpa married in 54… her haircut was awful so I'm going to guess 60-something?" Rory smiled. "She was 44 in the interview."

"She looked older than I remember." Steve muttered.

"That's because when you met her she was 21." Rory chimed in with a laugh. Steve frowned.

"No she was 24?"

"Nuh uh, she lied on her enlistment form. Grandma's birthday is April 9, 1921."

Steve grinned. "I guess we weren't so different after all." He chuckled. He sighed, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket. Rory linked her arm with his.

"You sure you're ok. I probably shouldn't have pushed you to watch that." She said softly, trying to gauge where he was at.

"No, no I'm glad you did. It was… it was tough. I'm not going to lie." He shrugged, bumping her with his hip. "But it was easier than seeing her in person I guess."

"You'll get there one day, Steve." Rory said confidently. "You survived Uncle Gabe."

"That sure was a good dinner. I wish we could stick around to see more of him." Steve sighed, rubbing his hair under the cap, shifting it off his head. A little boy looked up as he passed them, his eyes going wide.

Steve pressed a finger to his mouth to shush him and the kid nodded vigorously. Rory smiled as the kid's mouth snapped closed.

"We'll see more of him. Uncle Gabe is in New York a lot." Rory promised. "And D.C. isn't exactly far from New York. You can come here whenever you want."

"You think SHIELD will let me? I mean, if I'm a wanted man by the media I may never be allowed out of their sight again." Steve gave a chuckle. Rory groaned.

"Tony is such a media whore. I swear he probably planned this." She rolled her eyes. "We haven't had any trouble today at all. Told you my disguise would work." She grinned, squeezing his arm.

Steve glanced at her and smiled. "I didn't doubt your espionage abilities. I just remember what the media was like back in my day. Hounds, the lot of them." Steve said, nodding to the exit. "Do you want to try our luck in public and go and find something to eat?"

Rory smiled. "Sure. Our plane isn't til later tonight so we have some time to kill." She nodded, untangling her arms from Steve's to pull out her phone. "Are you sure you're ok?" She asked him again.

"Yeah, I told you I was. This has been good." Steve nodded, looking down at her. Her concern was nice but she didn't need to be. Not this time. "I know I can tell you when I'm not." He assured her.

"Oh, I meant your ego," Rory quipped, looking down at her phone. He could see the smirk on her lips, twitching as she tried to fight it. "I mean, it's not every day you get to go to a museum and get to see an exhibit dedicated solely to you." She looked up from her phone. She grinned at the look Steve was giving her.

"Oh you're real funny." He rolled his eyes at her, slinging an arm over her shoulders to shake her gently. Rory leant into him, secretly glad that he was ok after seeing the exhibit. She'd been worried he wouldn't be ok after seeing everything laid out in front of him, especially her grandmother. But he seemed fine. A little quieter but still smiling.

* * *

Author's Note:

Hey guys, thanks for reading yet again. You like it? Share it, comment on it, tell me! I love hearing from you. I have a spotify playlist up now if anyone is interested. I'll post the link on my profile but the title is Mess That We'll Become.

Next one out soon!

Playlist:

One Safe Place - Marc Cohn

Cross Fire - Brandon Flowers

Bella Belle - The Electric Swing Circus


	13. I am the Fire

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 13: I am the Fire

* * *

The smell of meatloaf wafted in from Maggie's kitchen as Rory and Steve lazed on the couch in front of the television. They were watching news highlights about the media circus that was Stark Tower at this moment. It was why they were still in D.C. two nights later, advised by Darcy to just lay low.

"Just like old times, huh?" Rory asked as Steve's face flashed up on the screen.

He glanced at her beside him, her legs curled under her and her arm propping up her head. She was relaxed and happy and it showed on her face.

"I guess." He shrugged. "Except now everything is instant gratification. Internet, media, phones…" He nodded to Rory's resting beside her. "It's the same but it's different. It's worse."

"It's not all that bad." She grinned. "I mean, they can only say good things about the National Hero."

"I'm sure there's someone out there who'd disagree with the masses." Steve said dryly, shaking his head. "There's always going to be someone who will disagree."

"Oh I highly doubt that, Captain." Rory grinned, rolling onto her back to stretch her arms high above her head. She kicked her legs out over his legs and gave a yawn. Her shirt pulled up around her ribs as her back arched, leaving a vast expanse of skin between the hem and her waistband. Steve couldn't help but look, his eye catching on a dark line of words marring the smooth skin of her hip.

He peered closer, trying to make the words out in the dim light.

"Get a good look, Soldier?" She said with a slight chuckle and Steve's face went hot as he was caught.

"Sorry, I couldn't help but… the tattoo… what does it say?" He stammered, clearing his throat.

Her fingers caught on the bottom of the shirt and she pulled it up, flexing her hips to the words flattened over her bones.

" _Vixtirx patentia duris_ " she rattled off the Latin as his eyes focused on the words again. The script was curved and elegant, like very familiar handwriting. He frowned. "It means – "

" _Patience is Victorious in Hardship_." He said before she could. "I learned Latin in school." He explained when he glanced away from the words and saw the impressed look on her face.

"It's the Carter Family motto." She tugged her shirt down. "One of three tattoos. It's actually Grandma Pegs' handwriting."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow and rubbed the stubble on the side of his face. He'd known that handwriting was familiar. "Some of the men in the army had them. I thought about getting one before – " He cut himself off, looking her up and down, wondering where the others were. "But never got a chance. Where're the others?"

She tapped her chest, just below her collarbone on the right. "One is here. It says _'Once Upon a Dream'_ with an Owl sitting on top; from Sleeping Beauty. It was the first one I ever got." She smiled. "The other one is riiight under here, over my heart," She extended her left arm up and tapped right under her left breast with her finger, "and it's the infinity symbol with _family_ written in it."

"They sound really nice. They mean something."

"You wanna see?"

"What?" Steve choked as she lifted her t-shirt higher. She laughed and shook her head.

"I'm kidding Steve, you don't have to look so terrified." She laughed and sat up, her shirt falling down.

"I'm not terrified." He defended indignantly. She laughed again and he had to look away, his cheeks red raw.

"Don't worry, I'll get Arthur to educate you in his favourite way." She stood, patting his shoulder. Her hand lingered, rubbing softly over the fabric of his shirt. "You want a beer?"

"I don't need educating." He grunted, scowling. He really didn't. He wasn't exactly the picture of virginity everyone seemed to peg him as. He'd traveled all around America with a line of Chorus girls, most of whom had had very liberal values. They'd definitely taught him a thing or two but his mama had still raised him to be polite and demure so no one needed to know. "But yes, please." He smiled. Her fingers slipped from his shoulder and he sucked in a deep breath, shaking his head at Rory's antics.

Slowly but surely he was getting used to the way Rory was, her jokes and her mannerisms. He liked it. She made it easy for him to just relax and he found he enjoyed her quick wit and company quite a lot.

They arrived home soon after and managed to avoid the media circus. SHIELD had put a stop to it, placing agents around Stark Tower to usher members of the press and public away from the building. So far it was working but now everyone had to be extra cautious every time they stepped out of the building. Tabloids were enjoying writing stories about various women seen with the buff supersquad; Twice Sharon had been linked with Tony and Thor and while not great photos had been captured of Rory's face, she'd been hypothesized as Steve's potential girlfriend.

Rory was sure it would die off eventually, but even so they were careful about traveling around the city, including to Steve's gym, where they'd taken to training due to the one in Stark's tower not being equipped to deal with super soldiers and deadly assassins.

The agents spent afternoons and nights there because, as Clint had gleefully pointed out, Rory was getting soft sitting behind a desk.

She watched from the sidelines with Arthur and Steve as her former S.O. and his partner beat the ever-loving shit out of each other.

To anyone who didn't know them it looked like they were trying to kill each other, Rory could see the pulls and hesitations of their actions. Even as Clint's fist connected with Natasha's jaw and she spun her small frame around his shoulders with enough force to send them both slamming into the mats.

"I can see there's a reason why no one else will get into the ring with them." Steve commented dryly as he scrapped his hand over his five o'clock shadow.

"Oh we get in the ring… you just gotta know your ass will be handed to you very painfully." Rory replied with a smirk.

"You've had Clint down a few times." Arthur reminded her, glancing up from his phone. "Natasha once or twice."

"Really?" Steve couldn't help the surprise that coloured his tone.

Rory glanced sideways at him, smiling wryly.

"You wouldn't think it looking at me, but I do know how to hold my own." She chuckled.

"Uh I mean… I guess…" Steve knew he couldn't back track and Arthur clapped him on the shoulder.

"Smooth move, Wordsworth." He snorted, shaking his head. "I'm afraid to tell you, my friend, that you are looking at the only person to get near Natasha Romanoff's physical test scores in the last 10 years. Grant Ward likes to tell everyone he matched them but that's not true at all." Arthur explained. Rory kept her eyes on the people in the ring. "Don't get her started on her marksmanship. Clint Barton has a bit of competition there."

Her ability wasn't something she liked to publicly acknowledge. She knew she could handle herself, knew she could hold her own and when she needed to she did. However, her line of work within SHIELD rarely called for her to use it.

She wasn't an assassin, she wasn't a combative field agent; She was purely recon and intel gathering and she was proud of her skill set.

"I'm very impressed then." Steve said finally and Rory could hear the genuine compliment in his tone and her cheeks reddened. A sharp tapping on the ring floor had them both turning.

"Ow! Jesus frick Tasha!" Barton howled from where he had pinned Natasha to the ring floor.

"What happened?" Rory called out.

"She bit me!"

"You pulled my hair!" Natasha shot back, folding her arms over her chest as she stood.

"I didn't make you bleed though." Clint grumbled, walking to the side of the ring. He ducked down and slid out, scowling and inspecting a clear bite wound on his forearm. Rory could see no blood and rolled her eyes at his dramatics.

"I did not make you bleed, Barton." Natasha followed him. She muttered something Russian under her breath and Rory snorted.

Steve and Arthur looked at her to translate.

"She called him a big baby."

"Children the lot of them." Arthur rolled his eyes and Steve let out a whistle.

"They do that often?"

"Sadly, Cap it's not the first time." She shook her head, tossing her towel at Arthur. "He'll be fine. C'mon." She cocked her head at the ring and boosted herself into it. "Wanna test my skills out for yourself?"

"Do you mind?" Steve asked Arthur, throwing his thumb over his shoulder at Rory, stripping off her sweatshirt in the ring.

"Oh no, be my guest. I'm going to enjoy this." Arthur shook his head and held up his phone.

"Enjoy what? Me kicking his ass or him kicking mine?" Rory asked, hanging over the top rope and Steve glanced up at her.

"Both!" The glee in Arthur's voice was unmistakable and she laughed. Steve boosted himself into the ring and straightened up.

"Where the hell did you get that?" He pointed to her shirt, his eyes flicking up to her face in amusement.

She glanced down and then up with a grin. "Get what?" She asked innocently.

"The shirt." He raised an eyebrow.

"Oh you mean the Captain America shirt that I found and just _had_ to have?" She grinned and tugged on the hem of the shirt with the other hand, distorting the image of his shield across her bust ever so slightly. "I liked it."

"It's ridiculous." He sighed with a laugh.

"It's the in thing, Cap. Your face was on one but I figured that may have been too much." She grinned wider at the astonished look on his face. "You're hot property now." She patted his shoulder. "I very nearly got the panties with your shield across my –"

"Don't give the man a heart attack, love!" Arthur exclaimed as Steve's ears went red. Rory laughed and shook her head.

"Alright, sorry." She rolled her eyes. The paused a moment before she smiled again. "And if this is going to be a distraction I'll just get rid of it, shall I?" She tugged the shirt over her head and tossed it out of the ring, leaving her in a basic black sport crop and her ¾ tights.

Steve had to swallow. Arthur snorted hard.

"I, uh, don't know if that's going to be any less distracting." He tried not to look but he really couldn't stop himself, especially when she grinned and raised her arms to pull her hair into a braid. She was muscular and toned and his eyes were drawn to every inch of her.

The tattoo under her collarbone stood out clearly and he could see the Owl's head poking over of the edge of the bra. The infinity symbol poked from underneath the band. He swallowed again clenching and unclenching his fists to check his wrapping.

"This is kind of exciting." She grinned at him, dropping her arms to crack her neck.

"What is?" He asked, his brow furrowing. She bounced on the balls of her feet, limbering up. Her fists came up to her face and she jabbed the air a few times.

"Sparring with Captain America. Something I've always thought about." She replied. He laughed, shrugging a shoulder.

"I'm not Captain America, right now."

"Oh good. I won't feel so bad when I kick your ass." She grinned briefly before skipping toward him with her fists up high, the sparring starting right away. He defended, surprised when her foot clipped his hip hard enough to put his balance off. He reached down to make a grab but it was gone too quickly.

It dawned on Steve rather fast that he was underestimating her, especially after she threw her hands up in a defensive position but swiftly kicked his kidney.

She was unpredictable, surprisingly graceful and deadly fast.

The words _vicious_ and _brutal_ were apt in describing her style of fighting and, after she blocked his fists making a grab for her shoulders and used his momentum to swing around his torso. After that alone was enough to bring him to his knees, he realized that she could hold her own against him.

Woman or not, there was no need to go easy on such a competent fighter.

He reached around to where she was latched onto his back and hooked an arm under her waist. He used her weight as leverage and tossed her onto the mats in front of them. She landed on her back with a thump but she wasted no time in being back on her feet in seconds.

They turned to square off again. There was a grin on Aurora's face. She was definitely enjoying this and nothing else but that mattered. "Surprised?" She asked, her teeth flashing.

"Very." He nodded. "Impressed too." He added as he steadied his breathing. "You earned the grade."

"You were going easy on me." She pointed out, her bottom lip pushing out into a pout. He gave her a sheepish smile.

"I might have been." He agreed with a nod. He pushed some hair back off his sweat-slicked face.

"You don't need to."

"Oh I realize that now." He chuckled. He'd still pull his punches and reign himself in but only because he could kill her if he wasn't careful; but she was still tough competition for him.

And good god, that was even more distracting than her bare waist and tattoos.

They started up again, this time Rory landing less hits as Steve concentrated completely on keeping her at bay. He threw her off balance when he grabbed her forearm, spinning her around to tuck her fist up and under her shoulder blade. Her head snapped back, crunching his nose and he shoved her forward.

She stumbled and he advanced, hoping to take her down swiftly while she was off balance.

She wheeled around in time to meet his falling fist with a forearm block, her other fist uppercutting his jaw hard enough to rattle teeth. She saw his elbow that was descending on the crown of her head before it made contact and a fast duck had her, just barely, out of the way.

Rory kicked out but he jumped back, giving her enough time to skip around him and try to jab his left kidney. He saw her coming and she changed her mind mid leap, hitting the ground to sweep both of her legs out in a wide arc.

Her feet caught his ankles and it threw him to the floor. A quick leap to her feet and she was out of the way of his huge body. Another leap and she was on his back, pushing him finally all the way to the floor.

She put him in a chokehold from behind, latching her hand around her own bicep to gain extra leverage. Steve gave a grunt, not ready to give in to her and suddenly Rory was launched into the air as Steve stood. He took her slim calves in his hands and detached them from around his waist easily, before he pulled her to one side, effectively tossing her like a ragdoll to the ground.

She braced herself waiting for an impact as she fell but it never came as Steve swung her up into his arms and peered down at her. She opened one eye and found him grinning.

"You good?"

"Your nose is bleeding, are _you_ good?" Her eyes went wide and she pulled her hand out from where he'd wedge it between their bodies to touch his cheek. "Oh your nose…"

"Oh yeah, I'm great." He chuckled, dropping her legs down to the mat. "You're very good. Quick. Who taught you?"

Rory took her hand back and steadied herself. "Mostly those three." She nodded to Clint, Arthur and Natasha who were watching with interest. Arthur had his phone out apparently having caught the whole fight on camera. "But all the martial arts and gymnastics as a kid totally helped. Grandma and Pa taught me a few things too." She smiled.

"The punches are definitely your grandmother's." Steve agreed. They walked to the edge of the ring to catch their breath and get some water. He dabbed his nose gingerly, finding it just a trickle. No damage. The break was healing easily.

Rory laughed, "I've never heard that before."

"I've said that for years." Clint huffed, shaking his head. "Agent Carter used to kick my _ass_ when I first started and she was well into her 70's back then."

"Sounds like Peg." Steve smiled, giving a slight sigh of sadness. Rory glanced at him, wondering how it felt to be that in love with someone. The way he looked when he thought about her, or talked about her was just pure adoration. It was sweet but heartbreaking knowing that the love he had for Peggy Carter could be no more.

"Darcy wants to know if she can post that video to her blog." Arthur spoke up and Rory looked down at him.

"You sent that to Darcy?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah." He gave her a 'duh' look and picked up the phone to continue texting. "She probably shouldn't. Fury would have your neck."

"Completely. The tabloids would also have a field day – 'CAPTAIN AMERICA PUNCHES ASSUMED GIRLFRIEND'" She agreed with a grin. She turned to Steve, who was quiet all of a sudden, and she elbowed him in the arm. "C'mon, I'm gonna go work on some drills. You should teach me some stuff, soldier." She dropped her water bottle back onto the bench and slid out of the ring. She waited for him expectantly, watching him spring right over the ropes to land beside her.

"Show off." She muttered, turning with a flick of her braid to head to other side of the gym.

"I don't think there's much I can teach you." He said, following her to the bags he usually pummeled non-stop. She stepped in front of one and he stepped behind it, his hands at hip height.

"There's always something you can teach me." She replied, jabbing the bag with light fists. She went through a 1-2-3 combo which included her elbow and Steve rested his shoulder on the hard bag. "I'm sure you're dying to critique my sparring."

"Not dying." He shook his head. "There are some things you could refine but overall you're very good."

"Refine how?" She asked, her eyebrows rising.

"You know; small corrections that are a habit but getting rid of them could make you a little more effective." Steve lifted his gaze to her and she slowed her 1-2-3 combo slightly.

"Any corrections you could make now?" She asked, meeting his gaze easily. He ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up in all directions.

"Your hips are a little off center. It's causing your punch to pull a little." He trailed his eyes down her body, the ink on her hip catching his eye before he continued. She pivoted a little to her right. "Shift your knee so it tracks over your foot." His eyes traveled lower down her hips and thighs clad in impossibly tight pants. They snapped back up to hers quickly when he realized what he was doing. "It'll give you more stability."

"Sure." She nodded, a thrill shooting through up her spine at catching him checking her out. She cleared her throat and followed his instructions and repeated the combo hits a couple more times. Her punches hit a little harder than before and she smiled. "Cool."

Steve stepped back from the bag and moved so he was standing beside her. "Keep your hips straight when you throw your elbow." He mimicked her stance. "Turn from your core. It'll give you more power. Follow through as well with a punch to the opponents torso." He demonstrated, making the bag swing wildly. "It'll be unexpected. Give you an edge."

Rory nodded, trying to remain focused while his tensed bicep was level with her eyes. It was as big as her head and so defined it looked carved from marble. She swallowed and looked away. "So from here?" She turned slowly, her elbow tapping the bag.

Steve's hands found her waist and he turned her ribcage a little more. "Stretch from the obliques. Here," He placed a hand just below her ribs one either side of her waist. Her skin tingled and she held her breath. "and here. It'll enable you to spring back to kick or deliver another punch. You're fast and small, you'd have the advantage in most situations."

He let her ago, her skin was warm where his hands had been and she stared intently at the bag in front of her eyes. She repeated the drill six, or was it seven, times before he told her to stop.

"That's great. That'll definitely help." He steadied the bag. "Not that you need it."

"Can never stop learning." She replied.

"Peg teach you that?" He asked, smiling slightly.

"Oh yeah. Grandma is a big advocate of always going above and beyond and never settling for second best." Rory nodded.

"Always was." He said. "It's good. It's true." He cleared his throat, waiting for the nostalgia to hit him again but it never came. "Again. This time I want you to pivot out from the punch and bring your knee up." He pointed to the bag, positioning himself so he was behind the bag, his eyes focused on Rory's movements.

"How'm I doin', Cap?" She asked after three more drills.

"You're a quick learner. You're doing great." He smiled at her.

"It's easy when you have good teachers." She replied. She paused while she did some more drills. Then she spoke again. "So I've been looking at apartments around here for you. There's a couple I think you might be interested in."

"Yeah?" Steve's voice was coloured with surprise. He'd been busy since D.C., dodging the media and working on a few things Fury had given him, that he hadn't had a chance to look himself. Rory said she'd show him how to use the internet to do so but neither had had time.

"Mhm. But there's one a block away from here that could possibly be perfect. It's a townhouse, not an apartment like you wanted but it has everything you need and more. Built in 1946, brownstone building, two bedrooms, 2 bathroom. Renovated kitchen, which definitely caught my eye; a courtyard with a back entrance that leads down a hidden alley…" She explained and he stared at her with gratitude and awe. "It seems like the perfect place."

"It sounds it." He agreed, smiling slightly. "How do I get in contact with the real estate about it?"

"Two steps ahead of you." She grinned, winking at him. "You have an appointment with them at the place, tomorrow at 11."

Steve's hands dropped from the bag.

"Really?" He asked. Rory laughed.

"Yes, really." She stopped hitting the bag, using the back of her hand to wipe the sweat off her brow. "You don't need to sound so surprised that I did something nice for you."

"You always do nice things for me. I don't deserve a friend like you." He muttered.

"Oh hush. You'd do the same for me if I needed something. I know you haven't had a lot of time lately so I just… did it." She smiled, running a hand through her hair.

It usually took a lot to make Aurora feel awkward. It was a mean feat to make her embarrassed. The way Steve was looking at her right at that moment was enough to do both. She just couldn't place the expression on his face. It was crossed between adoration and shock and his eyes seemed to be studying her like he was surprised she existed.

 _He looks at you like he adores you_ a little voice floated into her mind and she grit her teeth.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid don't start thinking that…_

Honestly, it hadn't been a big deal. She'd gone online, searched for apartments and shortlisted the good ones. She was doing the same for herself anyway but she hadn't found one of those yet.

"Hey! We ready to head out?" Clint called from the ring. Rory nodded, grateful for the distraction. She started unwrapping her hands.

"Anyway, 11 o'clock tomorrow." She said, focusing on the wraps. "I think it's perfect. It looks it anyway."

"I'm sure it's great." He said softly. He cleared his throat.

"Oi!" Arthur called out to them from the other side of the gym. Rory looked up. "If you two are quite done I am starving." He held up his bag as if that emphasized the point of starvation.

"Yeah we're coming!" Rory yelled back, rolling her eyes. "Looks like it's food time." She grinned at Steve. They headed toward the others and their bags, Steve falling into step with her.

"You're coming with me tomorrow, right?" He clarified, unsure if she'd booked it for just him.

"Sure, if you want me to." She nodded. Her heartbeat thudded loudly in her ears and she gripped her water bottle tightly.

"Definitely. You picked it. You should see it." He agreed, scooping up both their bags. Rory protested for half a second before remembering it was pointless.

"Well then I'll be there." She assured him before turning to ask Natasha a question as the five of them left the building.

* * *

Rory had a good eye. The place was perfect. It wasn't the apartment he was looking for but the townhouse was small and private anyway and he wouldn't have the bother of nosy neighbors looking at him every time he opened his door. He could come and go as he pleased through the entrance at the back of the property, the one that joined to an alley, and he could avoid any press if they ever found out where he lived.

It had an old feel, the estate agent kept describing it as 'retro' and 'vintage' which he didn't appreciate but the woman was trying her hardest not to make him feel uncomfortable.

"I _really_ like this place." Rory pulled him from his thoughts.

Steve nodded, leaning his hip against the countertop in the renovated kitchen.

"You picked really well." He agreed, smiling at her. "Reminds me the place Buck grew up in. Nicer neighborhood though." He nodded out of the window at the lower Manhattan skyline that they could see. "Nicer view too. Where Buck used to live, the window in the kitchen backed onto another townhouse and the old lady who lived in the one directly across never tied her bathrobe up."

Rory let out a surprised huff. "You poor boys." She deadpanned as she shook her head.

"Tell me about it. First pair of breasts I ever saw were about 80 years old and at her knees."

"Steve!" Rory burst out laughing, slapping him on the arm. "You're horrible."

He just grinned, shrugging his shoulder. He followed as she walked through the place again. He'd been discussing the possibility of a move with Fury for what felt like forever. Fury was reluctant to let him out of the Tower for whatever reason he had, Steve had lost count, but with a little persuading on Aurora's end, they were making progress.

Nothing was set in stone at this stage but Steve was excited at the prospect of being independent.

"The walls need painting… or repapering." Rory noted as she looked around the living room that joined to the kitchen by an archway.

"You don't like the off-yellow and mint green?" He laughed. "I kind of like it."

"It reminds me of mouldy custard. I don't know why they renovated the kitchen and didn't paint." She wrinkled her nose, stopping in the middle of the room. "Maybe it's too small…" She suddenly didn't sound so certain and Steve frowned. She stood and worried on her lip, an instant tell that she was over thinking something.

Steve stared at her a moment, an amused smile on his face. "What's wrong?" He asked finally, folding his arms across his chest.

"Nothing…" She shook her head.

She wouldn't admit it, that she was going to miss him more than she should. That would be stupid. It was just that she'd gotten so used to him being across the hall from her that him moving seemed like she'd never see him again. Which, again, was completely stupid.

"Aurora?" He said. He stepped beside her, nudging her with his elbow. "I can tell something's up."

She shook her head, nudging him back.

"I don't know, I just think it's so far away I guess. I'm used to having you a few steps away but if you move here you won't be…" She shrugged and smiled up at him. "I'm being silly. If you like it, you should get it."

"You know you're welcome here anytime, don't you?" He raised an eyebrow and bumped her shoulder with his elbow again.

"You better believe I'm welcome here." She snorted and shook her head. "I'd be totally offended if I wasn't."

"I'll get you a key." He looked so happy with the suggestion and Rory's eyebrows rose.

"A key to your place?" She asked, a soft smile on her face.

"Yeah, why not?" He looked so innocent. For an attractive guy she forgot how little he knew about the ins and outs of the dating world.

"Well a key is generally something you give to like… I don't know, a girlfriend or something." She said, with amusement. Steve only shrugged.

"Or a good friend who's welcome here any time she pleases." He said simply, turning to wander up the stairs to the second floor. "Besides," He turned to her, a grin on his face. "According to the tabloids you _are_ probably my girlfriend. You and Natasha and Darcy." He chuckled, shaking his head.

Rory watched his broad frame move and she touched her fingers to her lip as she smiled. They'd been near inseparable for the last few months. She hoped it wouldn't change just because he was moving. It was strange to think that she couldn't just knock on his door and curl up on his couch or head down to the gym to watch him work out while she pretended too.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid. Do_ _ **not**_ _do this to yourself…_ She repeated in her mind, her fists and teeth clenching. She refused to be that stupid.

The sound of a phone ringing met her ears and she checked her phone. She heard Steve answer his and she pocketed it again, moving upstairs to find him.

"Yes sir. Brooklyn, Sir. 20 minutes. I'll be there."

He clicked off and turned, hearing Aurora behind him. She was leaning against the doorframe, looking like she belonged in the apartment.

A thought crossed his mind where she lived in the second bedroom but he pushed the thought away. She liked Manhattan, not Brooklyn. She was looking for her own apartment.

"Trouble?" She asked, her eyebrow quirked.

"Avengers Assemble." He nodded, pocketing his phone.

"I'll tell the agent we need to go." Rory nodded and they headed for the door. "Want me to start organizing the apartment while you're gone?"

"You could do that?" He looked at her in surprise as they jogged down the stairs.

"Yeah, if you really like this place. You'd be silly not to take it, honestly." She nodded with a smile. "I can at least get the ball rolling on the paperwork. We still have to convince Fury entirely, but I'm sure I can do that too." She tugged on the end of her hair, which was plaited to the side today. It was nice but he preferred it out.

"That'd be great, thanks. I don't know how long we're going to be gone for."

He headed out of the door while she ducked into the kitchen to explain to the agent where they were going. She was by his side after a minute and he handed her a helmet.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek against his back. He patted her hands lightly before kicking the bike into gear and peeling into New York-bound traffic.

"I'll let you know when we're leaving." He told Rory as they parted ways in the elevator.

"You know where to find me." She nodded, smiled and the doors slid shut between them.

* * *

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading! If you like it ,comment and share it and kudos it! It means a lot.

Also I should point out that this is set directly after Avengers so we're looking at 2012. **This is not set when CATWS is set**. I may have confused people with the Smithsonian exhibit but I feel something that big would have existed a few years before WS and it was being expanded upon all the time. WS is set in 2014 and is when the sequel to this one takes place! Please remember I started this fic a few years before WS so something change but I've tailored it to suit :) Thanks!

Playlist:

I am the Fire - Halestorm

Bad Karma - Ida Maria

Girl with One Eye - Florence and the Machine


	14. World so Cold

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 14: World so Cold

* * *

"Capsicle, you're late!" Tony called out from his place around the desk in the centre of the room. The room was full with his team, Fury and Maria Hill all ready and waiting for the briefing for the latest mission to start.

"Sorry. I was in Brooklyn." He cleared his throat grabbed the remaining seat between Bruce and Thor.

"Your file, Captain." Agent Hill replied, handing him an electronic tablet with the file open on the screen. He sighed, wishing they could just go back to the good old days when files were basic ink on paper. "What did you think of the apartment?" She asked as she moved along the table.

Steve looked up at her in surprise. He was unaware she even knew he was looking.

"Uh, I liked it. It's very nice. Aurora did a good job." He nodded, smiling lightly as he thought about the place he'd just been before pressing the button on the tablet to turn it on. He focused on the big screen as Fury stood up and everyone quietened down.

"Intel have given us the location of a large HYDRA base, three hundred miles inland of Greenland's coast, in what is referred to by locals as 'The Wasteland'. Contacts in Norway and Canada have been monitoring activity closely but these satellite images taken yesterday prompted us to take action."

The monitor behind him changed to fuzzy pictures of a solid looking structure surrounded by ice and snow. A shiver went up Steve's spine at the thought of all that cold and he forced himself to concentrate on other aspects of the picture to keep his mind off it.

His eye caught the picture of the rows and rows tanks lined up behind the solid wall that surrounded the compound. Each tank seemed to emit a particular blue glow around it's base and Steve frowned.

"That's a Hydra tank." Steve said, pointing to the picture in question. Everyone turned to look at him and Maria enlarged the picture. "I'd recognise it anywhere..."

There was no mistaking it. The black outline was definitely one of Hydra's high-powered tanks. He'd destroyed more than a few in the war and he'd bet any money that they were now 100-times more powerful than Johann Schmidt had ever made them. It chilled him to think of the technological advancements that could be made to an already devastating weapon.

"They appear to be using adapted versions of Johann Schmidt's designs, yes, but they're using the stolen chitauri technology that you three failed to find a month ago." Fury nodded, the screen clicking over to the shattered remains of chitauri guns. "Which means those people are linked with these people and we now know where the tech ended up."

"We didn't fail, Fury. They knew we were coming." Clint shook his head, reclining casually in his seat. He propped his feet up on the desk. "These guys are one step ahead of us, I won't be surprised if this is another trap."

Fury cast him a dark look and Natasha elbowed her partner. His boots hit the floor with a loud _thump_ as he straightened.

Bruce cleared his throat.

"Does that mean SHIELD _was_ hacked?" He asked, glancing around. Steve shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "That there's hydra connections within you?"

"I had Agent Dugan and Mr Stark try and figure that out but their analysis came up empty." Fury moved his gaze to Tony, waiting expectantly.

"Nothing." Tony shrugged, looking genuinely unimpressed with his results. "We weren't hacked, everyone's background checks came up clean and I even checked the hard drive of Jarvis in the tower. No tampering, nothing out of the ordinary. " Tony shook his head. Steve saw the subtle clench of his fist and the tick in his jaw. "Still can't tell if I want to hire them or shoot them." Tony sighed, sounding very torn by the two options.

"So what are we looking at here, search and destroy? Reconnaissance? What?" Clint nodded to the monitor and prompted Fury to continue with the debriefing.

"We want you to search and destroy. Level the damn place," Nick replied gravely. "Destroy the tanks and any other weapons you find."

"How many people on base?" Steve asked.

"We can't get exact numbers but we estimate no more than 200 soldiers and scientists."

"Does that mean A.I.M is involved?" Natasha spoke without looking up from her tablet.

"It will be bad if they are but it won't be a surprise. Detain any workers and bring them back to the States. They'll be held on Stryker Island."

"If we destroy those tanks there are going to be many deaths." Thor pointed out with a grave voice. "Chitauri technology isn't as powerful as the tesseract but it is highly volatile. There is a chance even we may not survive."

"Oh that's just peachy." Clint groaned.

"I'm aware Thor, but that's the price they pay for working for HYDRA. Bring in who you can." Fury nodded and looked between them all. "I want you on the helicarrier ASAP. The helicopter to take you up leaves from the roof in 15 minutes."

Everyone nodded and dispersed. Steve felt sick. He hated the cold, detested it. His nightmares were usually about him being cold and when he was cold, there was a fear he may never be warm again. This was not going to be an easy mission.

He contemplated going back in and telling Fury he was going to sit this one out. He contemplated telling him that he couldn't go near the nice, that he was panicking, choking on the acrid taste of bile.

But he couldn't. He was the Captain. He was needed, so he didn't. He sat quietly and stared down at the grainy images of the tanks and focused on bringing them down.

"Are you alright, Steve?" A soft voice asked him and he looked up as the smell of spun sugar wafted into his nose.

"Doctor Holstein, what are you doing here?" he asked, glancing down the hallway and found it empty. Everyone had gone quickly and he wondered if Fury had asked his psychiatrist to be here.

"Just making sure you're ok. I was informed your mission is to the arctic?"

Steve gave a tight nod as they started walking toward the elevators again.

"It is." He said, his voice sounding tight. "I'll be ok." He assured her and she smiled.

"Of course you will… but no one would blame you if you wanted to sit this one out." She spoke in soft tones and he shook his head.

"No. I'll be ok." He couldn't back out. Wouldn't let his team down like that. "It's just a bit of cold." He forced himself to smile.

"Yes of course. Just some snow and ice. Nothing to worry about." She smiled sweetly at him. He couldn't tell if she was joking or not.

Steve grit his teeth and pushed the button to call the elevator.

"Was there something you needed?" He asked. He knew she was there to help but she wasn't and the smell of her perfume was giving him a headache.

"Just to remind you that you know how to handle this and if you need to, you could sit it out." She smiled at him, leaning against the wall beside the elevator. "and to remind you to pack something warm. Average temperature is about 40 below."

He managed a weak chuckle as the elevator doors opened up. He gave her a wave and stepped inside, loosing a breath he'd been holding.

His mind was struggling to stay calm as he changed into his suit and grabbed his shield. There wasn't much more he needed, perhaps some clothes for flying time between Greenland and the helicarrier. He didn't want to be in his suit the entire time.

He was just packing a small bag when there was a knock on his door.

"Open." He called out.

"When do you leave?" Rory asked, walking in before he'd even called out to her. He swallowed the urge to pull her in for a tight, comforting hug and focused on his bag.

"Ten minutes." He grunted. He heard her behind him and he turned. "We're going to the Arctic."

"You're what?" She blinked as if she'd misheard.

"Middle of Greenland actually."

"What the hell is Fury thinking?" Her face screwed up as she processed the information. "You can't go."

"I need to go." He shrugged, swallowing the acrid bile in his throat. He would not panic. The team needed him.

"You don't. They can do without you." She insisted, running her hand through her hair. "Steve –"

"No, Aurora. I can do it, ok? I'm not an idiot. I can do this." He snapped, the panic coiled tightly in his gut finally snapping as he lashed out at her. She blinked at him in surprise. "I am fine and I do not need _you_ telling me otherwise." He said stiffly. She stared at him, her gaze never wavering even though he knew he'd been unreasonable.

"You're not. You're freaking out." She shook her head finally, taking a step toward him.

"I'm Captain America. I'm not allowed to 'freak out'." He clenched his jaw and took one back. "It's not what I was made to do and I don't need your god damned pity."

"Listen to yourself; You're human, Steve. You're allowed to lose it when faced with something that scares you." Her voice was soft, soothing but it irritated him further. He knew she was right. He was scared and he was freaking out but he was needed to do his job and not be weak.

"I'm not right now, ok?" He snapped again, running his free hand through his hair. "I have to go. I'll be back in a couple of days." He picked up his shield, his helmet and his small bag, and made to move past her. She stepped into his path and stopped him.

"You'll be ok, ok? It's a regular mission and the others are there to help you." Her voice was so soft now and he barely caught it. Her arms wrapped around his waist in the next breath and her cheek pressed firmly against the star on his chest. He dropped everything in his hands and scooped her up, burying his face in her hair and neck.

He inhaled her sweet perfume like it was the oxygen he needed to keep his heart going while he struggled to swallow the lump in his throat. It was a moment of weakness, the only one he'd allow himself to have on this mission. He didn't know how long they stayed there, he didn't care; all he knew was he needed to hold her to feel slightly ok and he wished she was coming with him.

When the pounding in his chest subsided and he stopped seeing stars he placed her back on her feet, avoiding her eyes as he took three steadying breaths to calm his nerves.

"I'll be back soon." He murmured, licking his dry lips.

"I know." Rory nodded. She reached up and pushed his hair to the side, neatening it, before tugging on a strap of his suit. "I like the suit." Her lip curled up on the right side in a smirk and he met her amber eyes.

"I thought you said you didn't?" He chuckled weakly, looking down at the red white and blue.

"Ok, I like you _in_ the suit." She smiled. She rose up on her toes and kissed his cheek. "You'll be fine, I know it. Contact me if you can."

He nodded, his cheek tingling where her lips had touched and picked his stuff up again. "I'll be back before you know it." He looked at her for a moment before ducking his own head to place a kiss on her cheek. Her eyes widened in surprise for a moment and he swore she blushed but she didn't give him a chance to dwell on it.

She followed him to the elevator, and when he door slid closed around him she pulled out her phone and dialled Natasha's direct line.

"Yes, Dugan?" Natasha answered.

"Look out for him, Nat." Rory didn't bother with a hello. She leant against the hallway wall and pinched her brow, the worry thick in her stomach.

"For the Captain? Where is he?" Natasha's voice lowered.

"On his way up but please look out for him." Rory pressed the hell of her hand to her forehead. "He's… he's not doing too great but he'll fake it like her is."

"I intended to do that anyway. What was Fury thinking sending him on this? Clint and I could have handled this ourselves. Tagged Tony in maybe." She swore in Russian and Rory almost smiled. She should have known Natasha would be up to speed with Steve's medical history. She wasn't naive. She liked to know everyone's strengths and weaknesses so she was prepared for anything and Rory knew the Russian held a certain fondness for their dear Captain.

"Please, Nat."

"I will, _sestrenka. Obeshchayu_. I know the signs, what to look for. He'll be ok."

"Thanks." She sighed, feeling slightly better about a situation she had no control over. Natasha's promise let her breathe again.

"Steve just got here, I gotta go. He's been in the room two seconds and Tony's already started up the 'Capsicle' jokes. If Steve doesn't punch him, I will." Natasha said and Rory groaned.

"Go. I'll see you when you get back."

The line went dead and Rory trudged back to her room, wishing she could be there with them.

* * *

"Ok, this is as close as we're gonna be able to get it." Natasha called from the pilot's seat as she landed the quinjet on icy tundra about 2 miles away from the compound. "Shields should hold the cover while we're in the compound." She powered down what she could and unbuckled. "Keep the plane toasty warm too."

All others in the plane followed her lead, Steve standing first.

"What's the wind factor?" Clint asked, zipping a thermal skivvy over his uniform. "And the chill factor? I'm gonna freeze my ass off out there."

"We all are, Barton." Bruce murmured. "Wind is at least 9 miles an hour and the chill is currently neg58."

Steve grit his teeth. He compulsively checked and rechecked his gloves, helmet and shield to give himself something to do to take his mind off of it.

"How you doin' Cap?" Natasha stepped up beside him, her hands resting on her hips.

"M'fine." He grunted a response, picking at pilling on his gloves.

"Good." The red head nodded. She didn't say anything else and Steve glanced sideways at her. She was inspecting her weapons, not saying a word but somehow he knew she was keeping an eye on him.

"I'm ok Natasha. It might be a different story when we get out there but I'll reel it in, ok?" His dropped his voice and his head to speak with her. She nodded, looking at him with bright, green eyes.

"I know, Captain. I'm only asking for a friend. Another pretty red head, you might know her?" She smiled, winking. He smirked lightly and checked his gloves again.

"You can tell your pretty friend that I'm ok and she should stop worrying." He shook his head, feeling slightly better knowing that someone was thinking about him.

Natasha took her phone out.

"Oh don't worry, I will." She smiled before turning and walking away, her fingers tapping quickly on the keys.

Steve watched her go before he cleared his throat.

"Ok listen up, once we're close enough I want Clint and Natasha to head around the back. If we hit 'em from both sides we may have the element of surprise up our sleeve." He focused on giving orders, ignoring the rattle in his teeth. "Tony, you're with me. We go in through the front. I need you to head for a control panel, disarm any security systems they may have and open any and all doors."

"Aye Aye Captain." Tony saluted him, moving away to stand near the door.

"Thor and Hulk, I want you to hang back. We're only going to need you two to destroy the building but you can keep your eyes out for anyone leaving. Stop them, obviously."

"Of course, Captain." Thor nodded, gripping Mojnir tightly.

"Alright, if we're all clear on what we have to do… Let's open her up and get to work." He clipped his shield to his back and braced himself as he door to the quinjet's hangar opened.

The icy wind hit them like a truck and each and every one of them swore loudly. Any skin that was exposed burned in the cold but they pushed out and into the world anyway.

Tony flew ahead of them, carving out a path for the team to walk. They followed his lights and soon the lights of the compound also came into view.

He signalled Natasha and Clint to start heading around the back and for a few minutes there was nothing but silence.

"Is it just me, or are there like no guards here _?"_ Tony asked when they finally had the gate in their sights.

" _We're lacking on the back too."_ Clint responded in the coms. Steve frowned. It wasn't like Hydra to not protect their hideouts with at least a few dozen over armed and under trained henchmen. " _We seriously just walked right up to the back wall and no one saw us._ "

"Past the tanks?" Steve asked, motioning for Tony to follow.

" _That's the thing Cap."_ Natasha spoke this time. _"The tanks aren't here_."

Steve stopped short. "What do you mean there aren't any tanks?"

" _I'm standing where the satellite showed there would be tanks and there are none._ "

Steve thought for a moment. Was this another set up? Would the building explode again?

"Bruce?" He said into his received.

" _Captain_."

"Can you fly the jet?"

" _Uh yes… why?_ "

"I need you to get over the top of the compound. Either it'll draw them out or prove no one is here. I need aerial photos of the yard."

" _Give me a few minutes to power up again."_ Bruce agreed and Steve looked at Tony.

"What do you think? Should we go in?" He asked Iron Man.

"Sure. Maybe they're all inside because it's too cold for them out here?" Tony shrugged, walking to the control pad on the front gate and pressing a finger to it. "Jarvis got an upgrade. I don't even need to take the panel off."

Steve pretended to understand what that meant and jumped back as the doors opened. He held his shield in front of him in case the henchmen came flooding out, but it was deserted.

" _Natasha's right. I'm not getting any visuals on tanks."_ Bruce said finally, confirming some of Steve's fears.

" _Should we proceed inside?"_ Clint asked.

"I just overrode the alarms." Tony murmured.

"Then we're good to go." Steve answered Clint, giving both assassins the all clear. "Have you come across anyone yet?"

" _Negative. The place is pretty much deserted."_ Natasha replied. Steve bit back a curse. The hair stood up on the back of his head. Was this a trap? Should he make the call to get his team out of there?

Steve and Tony walked through the halls of the building finding almost no one around. They came to a split in the halls and each took one.

" _Captain, I'm overhead in the jet. I have nothing. No people, cars, or tanks."_ Bruce filled Steve in. " _I'm not even getting any heat readings except for yours. It's like no one's ever been here."_

"Except they have." Steve murmured as he came to an office that looked pretty cleared out. Papers were strewn all over the floor, like someone was in a hurry to move.

" _Cap, there is no one here."_ Natasha said into the coms. _"This main office is cleared out. There are a couple of beakers here, science things… that's it."_

"Are we thinking it's a trap like last time and they got another head start _?"_ Steve asked, wanting to hear what his team thought even though his gut was telling him it was a trap.

" _Trap_." Clint replied, swearing. Natasha agreed.

"I don't know if it's a trap but something doesn't add up." Tony replied. Steve sighed, rubbing his brow. It was slick with sweat, helmet cast aside, and he was on edge. "How'd they know we were coming?"

"Same way they did last time." Steve said, his body tense with anticipation. "We should get out of here. Natasha, Clint –"A fizzle and a crack sounded in his ear and his lines went dead. "What the –"

"Mother fucker, I'm going to kill them." Tony swore from behind Steve. He turned to find Tony wrenching at his helmet.

"Tony, what's going on?"

"EMP. Fucker managed to take out my circuits." Tony lifted his head and his helmet came off with a snap.

"What the hell is an EM-"

There was a boom that shook the building and Steve had enough sense to grab Tony and shove him toward the window as the wall behind him crumbled.

"What was that?!"

"The jet most likely." Tony replied, coughing as the room filled with smoke. "If the EMP took my circuits out, which wouldn't be easy, let me tell you - then it will definitely have rendered the jet useless..." There was a roar as the Hulk made himself known and Steve pulled Tony to the window.

"Window. We go out the window." Steve nodded, standing up to kick the window with his boot. It shattered easily and the cold air rushed up to meet him. "If this is the same as last time, the whole building's going to blow."

"Long way down."

"Just jump."

Another explosion sounded and Tony did just that. Steve watched him go and readied himself to jump as a third and final explosion to rip through the lab he was in. He brace himself as he was thrown out of the window and into a snowdrift below.

The cold bit into his face and smothered him and if it hadn't been for the fourth loud explosion behind him he probably would have panicked. He didn't get the chance to panic as the building behind him collapsed. Pieces fell into the snow around him and he was able to roll to avoid being crushed my a slab of concrete. Something landed on his shield, pinning his arm into place. A sharp pain cut through his head and then everything went black.

* * *

Rory paced outside of the small room that she knew Steve's mission was behind. She couldn't help it. Her stomach had been in knots ever since he'd left almost 12 hours ago and the time seemed to be slowing down completely. She'd known she wouldn't hear anything at all but by hour 10 she'd had enough of pacing her room, even after trying to sleep, and had needed to see if she could find anything out. She was willing to bribe whoever their handler was to get information, even if that handler happened to be Fury himself.

She leant against the wall opposite the door and chewed on a nail, staring at the chrome finish like she'd suddenly acquired x-ray vision and she could see through it.

Her ears picked up the sound of footsteps coming up the corridor and she groaned as the smell of spun sugar invaded her senses. That awful perfume would be the death of her, she was sure.

"Miss Dugan." Doctor Holstein's voice made her internally sigh. "What are you doing here?"

"Erica." Aurora smiled anyway. The Doctor's eyes flashed at the informal use of her first name and Rory's smile widened. If she wanted formalities but dropped Rory's title then Rory was going to drop everything. "I was hoping to find out anything about the Avengers Mission. It seemed like a pretty risky one." She said, casting her eyes back to the door.

"I didn't think you had the clearance to even know about the mission, let alone be worried about it." Holstein asked, her eyebrow rising slightly.

"Steve mentioned one or two things about it. I can't say it's an ideal mission for him." Rory replied, folding her arms. "Of course I'm going to be worried about him. I'm worried about all of them –"

"But Steve in particular?" Holstein's voice was a purr and Rory glanced at her.

"Something about sending someone who's PTSD is triggered by the cold into a cold environment didn't sit right with me. He's also my friend." She knew she was making the woman's opinion of her worse – somehow she'd rubbed the doctor the wrong way from the start – but she was mad at her for allowing Steve to go on this. For not exercising her right as his doctor to say no, it was a bad idea. "I just want to make sure things are going smoothly."

"Steve can handle it." Holstein said, her eyes narrowing as she looked at Rory. Rory could practically feel her gaze as a physical entity, trying to set her alight.

"Your tune about him has changed. Wasn't it just a few months ago you were insisting I leave the country because he couldn't handle things?"

"He's been insisting that he can. so maybe I should listen." Holstein paused and a small, secretive smile formed on her face. "Or maybe he'll realise that he's not made of steel and he'll listen to me."

Rory pushed off the wall, her blood pressure rising. She stood in front of the taller woman, glaring up at her.

"You sent him on this mission as some sick game to prove that you are _right_?" She exclaimed, her voice almost a growl. "What kind of professional are you?!" Rory was horrified by the thought that Steve wasn't ready for this kind of mission, that the doctor had sent him purely to justify her actions.

Holstein's eyes glittered and narrowed and she stepped toward Aurora. The woman was a full head taller than her, standing over her like she was trying to intimidate. It made Rory want to laugh.

"It's not a game, _agent_ , it's to prove that he can't handle some things. _You_ have made him think he is more mentally prepared than what he is. If you'd kept to your orders and had stayed away from him, he would be fine." The doctor took a step closer once more and Rory's head swam with the smell of her perfume. God it was so strong, so thick, kind of like an aerosol version of treacle.

She breathed through her mouth, trying to clear her head.

"It's not my fault. You kept what he needed away. You kept his support network away, stopped him making friends. I'm helping him."

"You have such a hero complex." Holstein laughed. She bent down a little so she was looking Rory in the eye. Her green eyes flashed wickedly. "Tell me, Aurora. Is he a game to _you_? You've known about him your whole life, you've listened to the stories, and you've heard about him since you were a little girl… Is helping Steve really about Steve? Or is it about helping the hero you've built up in your mind?" Her voice was a whisper and Rory clenched her fists. "Are you going to drop him once he's better? Drop him like all the other men in your life?"

Rory's eyes widened and she found herself unable to draw in a breath to argue back. Holstein straightened, a wide smile on her face.

"Excuse me, Miss Dugan. I was needed to consult on something that is happening in that room." She held up a badge and turned her back on Rory. "Maybe you should go and lie down. You're looking a little pale."

She took opened with an automatic hiss.

Rory cleared her throat.

"He's not a game." She managed to choke out. "He's not a game and he's my friend."

Holstein looked at her over her shoulder, her hair curtaining her face and making her skin look stark white.

"Then let me do my job, Miss Dugan. Stay the hell away from Captain Rogers."

The doors closed and Rory sucked air into her lungs. The faint smell of sugar hung in the air but it quickly dissipated. Her head spun. She had no idea what just happened but she felt like there was something off about Doctor Erica Holstein.

She turned on her heel and paced down the hall, taking her phone out of her pocket.

 _Text: Steve  
Hope the mission is going ok. I'll see you when you get back. X_

It wasn't much but it would have to do. She wasn't getting in on the mission, not with Holstein in the room in any case so she figured waiting it out in her apartment would be best.

They couldn't be gone much longer now.

Could they?

* * *

Cold. Ice and cold and white. Everything was cold and everything was white. His body was numb and heavy, the cold burning through his suit and thermals like a hot knife through butter.

His ears were ringing and when he moved the one hand that was free and he found cold, hard concrete.

Or was that a block of ice?

Last time the glass had cut him and the ice had seeped into it. Last time the water rushed in on him and but it had been almost an hour before it reached over his head. _Last time_ he drowned and lost the best years of his life.

Last time.

Panic filled his lungs.

He was laying flat on his back this time. His legs were pinned by snow and, this time, there was ice above him. There was ice beside him. There was about an inch of space in front of his nose and he could thankfully breath – but this was a tomb. He was in a tomb of ice and white and cold and he could feel the panic rising in his chest. Bile burned the back of his throat but he swallowed it down.

He didn't know where his team were or if they were even alive. Maybe he'd spend another 70 years here and miss out on another lifetime.

Miss out on another pretty dame.

 _Aurora._

He didn't have a chance in hell with her but god he wished he did.

Even if he didn't have a chance she was still his friend. She'd become his rock and lifeline in this new world, a sparkling light in a sea of grey.

Why did fate seem to hate him? Why did it intervene when he had a good thing going. Was this is balance? Trade his sickness for health but never be able to fully enjoy it?

God, he wanted to enjoy it with her. The possibility was there. Peg had moved on, why couldn't he? Aurora was everything he'd wanted and more, wasn't she? Smart, pretty, strong; there was nothing she couldn't do.

A sob left his lips with a choking nose and he could feet wet, hot tears fill his eyes and stream down his cheeks. They froze almost instantly on his skin. He lay there, god knows how long he lay there but he was trapped by his own panic.

He should never have come on this mission. He should have listened to her. He was allowed to be human.

 _Pull yourself together, Rogers_ Bucky's voice sounded so suddenly and so loudly in his ear he jumped. He even looked around. Was he dead? Was he dead and Bucky was there with him? He sucked in a deep breath and held it.

 _You're not underwater and you're a super soldier. You can get out of this man_.

He huffed a breath. Lifted one arm. Felt the ice again. Recoiled and shivered. His other arm was completely numb and he wondered what had it trapped.

 _It's ice, man. You can do this. You gotta go back to her._ Bucky said again and he smiled. Trust Bucky to be thinking about a pretty dame in a situation like this. _What the hell is the point in all those muscles if you can't shift a little ice, huh?_

Steve steeled himself up with a few deep breaths and placed his hand on whatever it was covering him. He pushed up and felt the slab dislodge. There was a rumbling and he stopped.

There was no telling what was on the top of that slab and with his right arm stuck fast, still strapped into his shield he now realised, he couldn't move. He really was trapped.

" _Cap_?" He heard a faint voice called out. " _Cap is that you_?"

"Hello?" He yelled back, his breath fogging up the air in front of him. "I'M HERE!"

He pushed up again and dislodged some snow in front of his face. It fell in his mouth and eyes and he struggled not to pass out from panic.

He could hear his teammates yelling above him and he knew he was saved.

" _Stay still, brave Captain. There is much ice above you._ " Thor's voice boomed down to him. He tried to suck in breath but it felt like someone was sitting on his chest. He would not die here. He wasn't going to die.

He wasn't going to die.

He let out a choked laugh when his vision filled suddenly with brilliant yellow and green lights. He wondered briefly if he was hallucinating because he had never seen anything so damn beautiful in his life.

"What is that?" He asked in a breathless voice.

" _Aurora Borealis_. The Northern Lights." Clint replied as he hefted some snow off his body. "Something spacey that I don't quite understand but it's pretty cool all the same. It's why we call Rory 'North' in the field. Her code name is 'Northern Light.'"

He disappeared from sight and Steve stared up at the sky. He smiled. Actually smiled. Not because he was looking at the night sky but because he was looking at the aurora and it made him think of his Aurora. The yellows especially reminded him of her. It looked like her eyes, the warm caramel of her eyes. They were beautiful eyes.

Not that she was his, god had he really thought about her like that? It surprised him, the things his mind had thought of when he was panicking _._ He liked Aurora, sure, but changing things wouldn't be good for them. It wouldn't work. Their histories were too convolutedly entwined. He didn't even know where to begin.

But then again, she did seem like a pretty spectacular fit -

"Captain!" Thor's booming voice brought him back to reality and he noticed the Asgardian and the Hulk looking down over him. A giant, green, finger moved toward him and poked into his ribs.

"Are you well?" Thor shoved Hulk's finger away and beamed down at him.

"I'll be better when I'm out of the ice again." Steve grunted.

"Working on it, buddy." Tony's voice floated toward him. "If you hadn't moved the ice we probably wouldn't have found you for hours."

"Comforting."

"Don't get me wrong, we would have found you… you may have been a little frozen though."

"Tony!" Natasha scolded weakly from somewhere to his left. She appeared a second later pushing Hulk's arm out of his vision completely. She reached down to him, her palm coming to rest on his cheek. "You look like hell."

He blinked at her in the weak light. "So do you." He noted her burns and her blackened and singed body. "Are you ok?"

She ignored him. "I'm fine. Little too close to the flames… We gotta stop going into those buildings." She smiled a little. "We're getting you out now Steve, just stay calm." Her voice was soft and she leant down to him until she was laying on the edge of his ice tomb. She reached his free hand and squeezed it, hard and comforting and it took all his strength not to squeeze too hard back.

"Ok. My arm is stuck in my shield and there's something on it. Heavier than snow." He told her and she nodded, relaying the information back to Clint. "It's so fucking cold, Nat."

Natasha looked back at him in surprise, her hair whipping around and her eyes wide. "Did you just cuss, Cap?"

"Yeah I just cussed, it's fucking cold."

She let out a soft and throaty laugh. "It's a good sound on you. The squeaky clean choir boy routine was really getting to me."

"I'm not a choir boy." He tried to sound indignant but his teeth clacking together ruined the effect. "Can't carry a damn tune to save my life."

She laughed throatily. "Please Rogers, Rory Dugan swears more than you. I thought you might have picked some of it up from her."

"She gets that from her Pa. Dum Dum had the worst potty mouth in the commando's."

"Oh trust me, I know. I worked with them for a while. I think I learned most of my English swear words from those men." She replied with a warm smile.

"You worked with my commandos?" His eyes widened slightly as she nodded.

"Only for a little bit. When I was shadowing Fury, back when I first started." Her lips fell so only a small smile remained. "They taught me a lot."

"Wow. I didn't know." Steve murmured, feeling closer to Natasha than he ever had before. He felt a release on his legs and he moved them, letting the blood warm his muscles. "Will someone get my hand free?" He strained against the weight on his right arm trying not to let the panic creep up again.

There was some shifting and then finally he could move his arm. He sat up in his hole and breathed deeply. The panic subsided when he could move his limbs freely and wasn't trapped anymore. He swung his arms around, loosening the stiff joints.

"So that was a trap, right?" He looked around at his teammates. "We all agree that that was another setup?"

"I'd say yes." Thor nodded gravely. "They knew where we'd be and how to bring us down."

"I'm hoping SHIELD saw us go dark and are sending an extraction out to us. Ours is gone." Clint nodded toward the burning building. "Hey, at least we destroyed what we came to destroy." He grinned.

"How long do you think it's been?" Steve asked, looking around at the team.

"Not long enough and too long all at once." Thor murmured. Steve sighed and peered at the sky again, hoping the time would pass quickly and he could be home and warm with his Aurora.

* * *

Author's note:

Thanks for reading. If you like it, hit that button or let me know! Better yet - TELL PEOPLE :) Sharing is caring. Also rating has gone up. I probably should have done that a few chapters ago! Whoops!

Next one out soon. Thanks again!

Playlist:

Therapy - All Time Low

World so Cold - 12 Stones

Destroy - The Prodigy


	15. One Way to Stop a Panic Attack

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 15: Touch of Her Sweet Lips

* * *

Rory's head thunked back against Steve's door as she started to fall asleep for the third time in as many minutes. It had been a long 29 hours and she hadn't slept at all. She knew she should probably just get up and go to her apartment. The chances of them being home after just one day were slim… but she couldn't shake the bad feeling Holstein had given her down in the corridor and she knew she would have a nightmare if she went to sleep anyway.

But her eyes were so heavy and her head was starting to hurt. Steve would call her when he got back she was sure. She started to stand to go to her apartment when the elevator dinged and she turned to see Clint stepping out.

"What are you doing in the hall, Dugan?" He mused with a lazy smile, hiking his bag further over his shoulder.

"Waiting for you guys." She murmured, her whole body tense as she waited for Steve to step out behind him.

"He got waylaid." Clint said as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in for a hug. "His Doc was waiting for him. We had a bit of a rough time."

"Rough?" She asked, not even denying to Clint that she'd been hanging out for The Captain. "Is he ok? Are _you_ ok?" She pulled away to look at him and saw the bruises marring his jaw.

"It was another trap." He said, shaking his head. "Everything went down. Us, the building, the jet. We were trapped for a while but Steve was buried in the snow."

"Oh Jesus." Rory groaned. "But he's –"

"Your hero is fine. Shaken, but we're all shaken. Pissed but, again, we're all pissed." Clint dropped his arm and dug in his pocket for his key card. The elevator dinged again and Clint grinned. "There's your boy now." He said over his shoulder as her made for his apartment.

"He's not my boy." She said absently but she was already turning to watch Steve walk toward her. "Hey." She called out to him as he approached.

She noticed the tension in his jaw and her stomach clenched.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked as he passed her on the way to his door. His hand was bandaged too and she wondered if he'd broken something or if it was from the cold.

"Couldn't sleep. Needed to know if you guys were ok." She confessed. He glanced at her over his shoulder as he pushed the door open.

"We're fine." He murmured, cocking his head to beckon her inside.

He dropped his bags and shield with a thunk against the wall and he moved through his apartment wordlessly. Rory could feel the tension radiating off him and she wondered if this had something to do with Holstein as well.

"How was it?" She asked, her voice soft. She stuffed her hands into her jeans pockets and waited. She didn't want to push him but the worry was eating away at her. She had to make sure he was ok.

"Cold." His reply was short. "We came back with nothing." He added bitterly.

"Well the base was destroyed right?" She shrugged a shoulder, trying to smile. He grunted and nodded once. "That's something."

"They destroyed it themselves. They waited until we were inside, then they blew it up." Steve flexed his neck in annoyance. "They're one step ahead of us. I don't like that. I have never let HYDRA be one step ahead."

"Sometimes it's unavoidable. We'll get back on top, I know it." Rory didn't know what else to say. "Were you ok?"

"I ended up in a snow drift, half buried under the building." His back shuddered as if the cold was seeping through his skin again. He shook his head. "But I'm fine." He clenched his jaw tight.

"You don't have to lie to me." Rory said, watching his jaw closely. It was his stress-tell, a small and tiny tick he didn't know he was doing.

"I'm not lying. I didn't die, I didn't freeze. I'd say that's a good run." He cleared his throat and rubbed his arms as if a chill had passed through him.

"What did Holstein have to say?"

A scowl appeared.

"That you and her had words. That I need to reevaluate my mental health and figure out if this is what I want right now."

Rory fought not to argue with him. Had Holstein finally convinced him that she wasn't good for him to be around? Was this why he seemed so cold and distant?

"She blamed me for a lot."

He looked at her in surprise then.

"Blamed you for what?"

"Your confidence." Rory rolled her eyes. "I got the feeling she okay'd your mission to try and prove to you that you couldn't do this yet." Rory folded her arms across her, her heart breaking at the thought that she was really doing that to him.

"Well she failed miserably." He muttered. "I didn't panic, I didn't freak. When it came to the crunch I did what they made me to do." He shrugged. He opened his mouth to say something but promptly snapped it shut. "I don't see you giving me confidence as a bad thing." He shook his head, holding out his arm to her. A small smile turned his lips up and Rory let out a breath as she moved to him, her arms wrapping around his slim waist.

"You'll be fine, Cap. You got through it once," She held him as tight as she could and stroked his back. "This time you have me."

He held her tightly, his lips pressed into her hair and she felt him let out a shuddery breath. They stayed like that for a few, long minutes before she tugged on his undershirt.

"Go shower and change into something comfortable." She pushed him lightly toward his bathroom. "I have just the thing to take your mind off everything, ok?" Her smiled held a promise and he didn't argue as she disappeared back out his door.

Instead, he scooped up his things and wandered into his bedroom.

Holstein hadn't exactly been helpful as he'd stepped off the helicopter. He knew she meant well but rehashing everything that had happened to him, in great detail, was literally the last thing he'd wanted to do.

All his mind had been able to think about had been his apartment and Aurora.

The jets of water were like a breath of life into his limbs, which still felt cold and numb. He'd been cold for almost two days straight but the hot water did wonders to dissipate the chill in his veins. He could've slept there he was sure.

He wondered what Aurora had in store for him to take his mind off everything. His thoughts wandered to her joke from months ago about messing his hair and his cock twitched at the thought. There was nothing better than sex to relieve tension brought on by stress.

It was clear from the way she talked sometimes that she enjoyed it too. Once or twice he'd imagined what it'd be like with her but he'd never thought it was a good idea until now.

Not that it _was_ a good idea. It was that he thought she wouldn't be interested – she often talked or joked in a way that he knew sex wasn't a foreign concept to her – it was that she was literally his best friend and stepping into this could ruin what they had.

Still, the mental image of her in the shower with him, her creamy skin pressed against the smooth grey tiles and her hair turning to ink in the water was enough to give him some release that would be enough to ease his tension.

He hauled himself out of the shower a few minutes later feeling relaxed and a little hazy. The smell of something chocolatey wafted into his nose and dried off and changed into some sweats and a t-shirt before venturing out to investigate.

"Feel better?" Rory asked as he poked his head around the corner of the kitchen.

He nodded, resting his hip against the counter. He noticed she'd changed as well, donning an oversized sweater with BROOKLYN written across it that he was sure was his. The sleeves were rolled up around her elbows and her hair was pulled into a messy ponytail. She'd showered too, he noted, her hair damp on the ends.

The scene in front of him was so domestic that he had to stop and take it all in for a few moments. She was putting something in the oven. He was reaching for a beer. The TV was on in the background. It was nice. It was normal.

"What are you making?" He asked, tipping back the beer to take a long drag from it.

"Chocolate brownies and chocolate chip cookies." She smiled, glancing over her shoulder at him. She straightened and turned back to where she'd made the batter, picking up the bowl. "I didn't know if you'd like cookies or brownies so I made both. I just figured chocolate is the second best stress reliever I know and you seem like someone who needs it."

"And what's the first?" He asked, polishing off the first beer.

"Well, sex," She answered so innocently he almost choked. She dipped her finger into the chocolate remnants in the empty mixing bowl and stuck it in her mouth. Steve clutched the bee bottle tightly at the sight. "But with you, I guessed option two was safer." She chuckled, placing the bowl in the sink.

"What do you mean, with me?" Steve asked, smirking as he opened the fridge for a second beer.

She glanced at him as she loaded the dishwasher.

"That's not exactly something that should be wasted. _Especially_ with someone like me. Your first time should be special or some bullshit, I don't know. Mine wasn't." She shook her head and Steve wanted to laugh. Instead he played dumb, clearing his throat.

"What's wrong with you?"

She closed the dishwasher with a snap and her eyebrow rose.

"Well commitment isn't my strongpoint so that's not great. I've been described as emotionally distant afterward, also not great. I'm just… not a good choice for something I know you've been waiting a long time for." She shook her head and shrugged. "Don't waste it on me." She moved past him, patting his chest as she walked to his dining table. "So I bought over three movies. Disney. My favourites." She continued to talk and Steve guessed the conversation was over. " _Aladdin_ , _Hercules_ and _Alice in Wonderland_."

He stood beside her, taking the DVD's as she passed them to him. He studied the cover of each.

"My mother used to read me _Alice_ when I was sick." He mused, realizing it was the Lewis Carol story he'd grown up with.

"It's not exactly the same as the book." Rory smiled. "Still pretty great though."

He followed her into the living room, handing her Aladdin first.

"This one sounds good." He nodded, settling himself into the cushions. Rory popped the case open and took out the disk. She fiddled around with the TV for a moment and he watched her. "Hey, uh, you know it wouldn't be a waste on you, right?" He said finally, wondering why she thought so little of herself.

She glanced over her shoulder at him. "What?" She asked, a puzzled look on her face.

"You know, what we were talking about before. You wouldn't be a bad choice." He shrugged, smiling slightly.

"Ah… well... thank you? I think?" She chuckled lightly as she pressed play and came to sit with him on the couch. He felt a little triumphant that her cheeks were tinged red. It wasn't often he made her blush.

He enjoyed the movie but enjoyed her cooking more. Before they'd even decided on the second movie, he'd demolished most of the cookies and the entire brownie.

"Sorry…" He said sheepishly as Rory got up to put Hercules in the player.

"Don't be. I cooked them for you. I'm guessing they were good."

"Delicious." He grinned as she sat again, rearranging herself so she was all tucked into his side. He held her tightly as the movie started to play.

He liked Hercules better than Aladdin. A movie abut a small, skinny boy from nowhere who grew up to become a god really rang a few personal bells and the songs weren't half bad either. Megra was ridiculously sassy too, which is definitely what he liked in a dame.

Aurora started to fall asleep toward the end of the movie and when she got up to change the DVD for the third time she rearranged them both so he was laying on his back on the couch and she was draped over his chest.

"Are you comfortable?" She asked, resting her chin on his chest to look at him.

"Very." He nodded. "Are you?"

"Yup." She said, turning her head to the side and pressing play on the remote. A contented feeling spread across his chest and he pulled a blanket over both of them. He was warm, he was safe and the girl on his chest was beautiful. It was a moment he'd always dreamed about.

He focused his attention on the screen and tucked some hair over her ears. She was asleep in moments and he waited for sleep to take a hold of him as well.

He slept soundly and deeply until the Atlantic Ocean appeared. It forced its way through the already stressed windshield, sending glass and frigid water toward him.

Salt water entered his mouth, his nose, and his eyes before he could even take a breath. He was sure he would die of the cold. The salt stung the cuts the glass left. The pressure of the water pushed him back into his seat. His lungs screamed for air.

 _No_. This couldn't be happening again. He was back in the cold, on the plane; Pinned to the control panel and drowning. Panic took hold as he gasped water into his already flooded lungs.

Faces danced through his mind; his parents, of Bucky, of Peggy… of Aurora. The redhead was a new addition to the line up but she was there, in his mind, crying and mourning his loss.

He blacked out in his dream and woke up gasping for air. He jerked upright and Rory hit the floor with a squeak and a crash as she hit the coffee table.

"Jesus ch – Steve? _Steve?_ Are you ok?" She asked in an urgent tone, scrambling to her knees in front of him. He held his head in his hands, breathing in and out through his mouth. "Steve, speak to me."

"M'ok." He mumbled, shaking his head. His lungs were filling with air again but his body was cold, so very cold. He gave a violent shiver and held his breath.

A blanket draped around his shoulders and then she held him tightly, pulling him into her body. "Nightmare?" She asked softly and he nodded. He brought a hand around until he found hers and he linked their fingers. "It's ok." She murmured. "It can't get you. I'm right here, you know it can't get you." Her voice was soothing and soft.

"I know." He murmured. "I know, I'm ok. Fucking cold, but I'm ok."

She left him for a brief moment and then another blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He lifted his arm and pulled her under. He held her close, his face pressing into her hair to ground him to the present. She smelled sweet, like coconut and berry and he would never get tired of that.

"It was my accident again. I crashed into the Atlantic and I… I froze." He said in a voice so soft he wasn't sure if she even heard it. "I drowned first though." He felt her squeeze him in response. "I got buried today. My arm was stuck and I couldn't break free. I thought…" His words caught in his throat. "I thought I was going to be stuck there forever and I'd miss another 70 years."

"You won't miss another 70 years." She said softly. "We won't let you."

He chuckled lightly. "No I know… I… My nightmares seem more real again, probably thanks to the mission."

"I _told_ Fury it wasn't fair to do that to you." She shook her head and he didn't even have to look to know she was scowling, her nose wrinkling like it always did. "Sure, you could pull yourself together then but I knew you'd crumble when you were alone. Holstein knew this would happen. She wants you to think you're weak."

"How?" He asked, leaning back to look at her. "How'd you know this would happen?"

"Grant." She said quietly, her eyes softening at the memory of her brothers trauma. "He used to put up a strong front for all of us and then when he was relaxed is when it would fail. There is nothing wrong with that. It's a normal part of the problem" She shook herself, the memories of her brother dissipating quickly.

"Thanks." He said quietly.

"For what?" She asked, her eyebrows furrowing slightly.

"Sticking around tonight. You didn't have to yet –"

"I wanted to." She smiled, glanced at the clock. It showed it was a little after four in the morning.

Steve watched her a minute before he leaned in to kiss her cheek, overwhelming gratitude for the woman overwhelming him.

At the same moment Rory turned to face him.

"Did you think you –"

Their lips met softly and there was a beat of time when neither of them moved. Rory's eyes were wide, so wide he could see the darker ring around the outside of the amber. Her lips were warm beneath his and soft. It was a slice of heaven.

Then time continued and they jerked away in electrified shock.

"I am so –"

"What the –"

"I _was_ aiming for your cheek!"

Rory laughed, her cheeks burning as her hand came up to her lips.

"Well that's one way to distract yourself from a panic attack." She said, thoroughly amused at how mortified he looked.

"I am so sorry. I was aiming for your cheek and you turned and – "

Rory pressed her fingers to his lips, ceasing the rapid-fire apology spilling from them.

"Steve, it was just a kiss. An incredibly adorable and clichéd kiss but just a kiss. Stop stressing." She laughed lightly, shaking her head.

"But I didn't _mean_ it. I was just… going to thank you for being incredible and you turned!"

"I know. It's ok."

"I'm sorry."

"Steve, shut up." She shook her head, standing. She took his hand. "It worked though, right?"

"What?"

"The kiss stopped you panicking." She pointed out and he ran his free hand through his hair as he stood.

"Well, yeah but then made me panic about something else." He muttered. His face burned but his lips burned hotter where they'd touched hers. They'd been so soft and warm and the briefest kiss had been the best he'd had for a long time.

"I think it's better you panic about kissing me than panic about a nightmare." She looked up at him, her eyes sparkling in amusement. "Think you can sleep now?"

"Well, I'll be dreaming about something entirely different that's for sure." He said dryly and she let out a loud laugh.

"Well as long as it's all good and happy, I'm not going to judge." She turned, her hand still in his as she made for the bedroom. He followed, letting her lead the way. A stupid smile graced his features and he felt lighter than he had in hours.

She was a godsend. A literal divine intervention and he thanked anyone up there that would listen for sending her his way.

* * *

"Rogers! Grab us a beer as you come past, mate." Arthur yelled out. Rory looked up and smiled.

Steve was looking much better than he had the day before. The scrapes and bruises down his jaw had all but disappeared and the hollow, tired look in his eyes had gone.

Rory woken around 8 to find him still snoring lightly beside her, so instead of waking him, she'd left him a note that had told him about the baseball game she wanted to watch and invited him to join. She'd wrangled everyone they knew as she'd wandered through the tower and now it had turned into some kind of party in the living room on The Avengers floor.

"Make that two, Cap. I'm fresh out." Clint raised his hand from where he was seating on the floor at Natasha's feet.

Rory shifted her feet and motioned to the space of carpet there. She was tucked into the corner of the couch beside Thor, Darcy and Sharon were on the other side of her so there was no room for Steve to fit, but the Captain smiled and nodded as he picked his way through his friends, handing out beers as he went.

"Captain, have you seen this game!?" Thor's voice boomed happily. "They were just explaining the concept to me. It's quite fascinating."

Steve settled between her ankles, reclining back between her knees.

"Yeah, I've seen it. Many times. It's my favourite sport." He replied, grabbing a handful of peanuts as the bowl passed him by. "Who's playing?"

"Yankees vs Red Sox." Rory poked his shoulder and he craned his head back to grin at her.

"Oh excellent. It's about time I get to see you lose." He pinched behind her knee and watched her squirm.

"You're a Yankee's fan?" Sharon asked Steve, peering at him skeptically.

"I have no choice, born in Brooklyn and the Dodgers aren't there anymore." He shrugged a shoulder and Sharon shook her head.

"I should probably warn you, Rogers." She tipped her beer toward him. "Friendship terminated." He laughed.

"Likewise." Rory grinned at him. He shrugged a shoulder, lifting his arm to rest on Rory's knees.

"I can live without two Sox fans in my life." He grinned, his eyes trained on the TV. Rory snorted and pushed his head away, her fingers tangling in his hair briefly before coming to rest on his shoulders.

"You wish you could live without me." She said and he agreed, taking another mouthful of peanuts.

"You want to put money on the game, Cap? I have money the Yankees will win because Boston _sucks_." Tony asked, grinning as Rory flipped him off.

"You wish! What the hell do you know anyway? 'Tony Doesn't Sport' is practically your slogan." She rolled her eyes, reaching over Steve's shoulder to steal some peanuts.

"I'm a man, I'm born with the inherent knowledge."

"Your sexism isn't welcome here." Darcy booed him, throwing peanuts at the back of his head.

"So if they fail to hit the ball it is called a strike?" Thor repeated slowly.

"Only if they swing for it, and if they hit it out of the boundary it's called a home run. They score runs by running from base to base, you see?" Jane pointed to the screen and Thor's face screwed up in concentration.

"Yes and that is how they win?" Thor nodded.

"The team with the most runs wins, yes." She nodded, smiling triumphantly that she'd successfully explained a game she knew little about.

"I like this game even without bloodshed!" Thor grinned widely and pumped his fist. "I wish to play!"

"We'll take you to a park one day, big guy." Rory promised him. "I'll teach you how to bat."

"Just don't let him pitch." Steve winced thinking about how hard the Norse god would throw the ball.

"Don't think you'd hit it?" Rory reached down and ruffled his hair. He took the beer from her hand and took a drag.

"No, I'm worried you wouldn't be able to." He grinned as she took her beer back.

"Uh rude! I played until I was 15 and stopped because it interfered with gymnastics." She tugged on her hat. "Betchya I could bat you out of the park."

"Oh thems fighting words, kid." He laughed, taking the beer again. "Where's the nearest cage?"

"Will you get your own beer?" She tugged it out of his hands in exasperation and he laughed. "Well," She continued as Natasha handed them both a new, full beer. "I'm not sure about New York but I know where there's one in Boston." She suggested. "It's where I used to play."

"Boston, huh?" Steve asked, his eyebrow rising slightly. "That would require me being in Boston."

"Yeah it would." She nodded. "The 4th of July holiday is coming up. Remember how I said my family gets together for it every year? I was talking to Grandma this morning and she wants you to come."

Rory hadn't been sure about how she'd approach the idea with Steve. She knew it still worried him about how he'd handle seeing Peggy and Dugan older than he was but she figured while he was relaxed was as good a time as any.

Steve tipped his beer back, draining the bottle.

"Did she?" He asked, clearing his throat. He met Rory's hopeful gaze and placed the bottle on the floor.

"Yes. She had lunch with Uncle Gabe the other day and was quite jealous that he had seen you and she hasn't." She teased. Steve smiled and looked down at his hands. "Unless of course you have plans here in New York. I know it's your birthday and everything…"

Steve looked up again.

"No. I have no plans… I haven't had plans since 1943." He smirked and Rory let out a laugh.

"It's a lot of fun, mate." Arthur interjected. "There's lots of good food, the Dugan's are the nicest people on the planet and there's always fireworks. Darce and I are going."

"We are?" Darcy's eyes widened as if this was the first she'd heard of it. Rory's brow furrowed as she looked between the two. Apparently she'd missed the part where Arthur had become serious about the snarky intern.

"Well, yeah. They're my family and we don't have plans yet…" Arthur nodded, pulling her into his side to place a kiss on her head. Rory made a mental note to talk to him about it as soon as she could.

"Tony and Pepper usually come." Rory nodded to the power couple on the other side of the room.

"Only because Aunt Peg threatens me with bodily harm if I don't." Tony grumbled.

"Because you're a terrible god-son!" Rory shot back.

"I'm going too." Sharon nodded. "We could definitely turn it into birthday celebrations." She suggested and Rory grinned.

"That could be fun." She placed her hands on Steve's shoulder, realizing he'd been rather quiet during all the talking. She pressed her thumbs lightly into his back. "Did you want to think about it?" She asked softly and he nodded.

His heart hammered in his chest at the prospect of seeing Peggy again, but he didn't know how he'd handle it and he didn't exactly want an audience for it all.

He'd handled Gabe fine, and he would probably be ok with Dugan but this was Peggy. The first woman he'd ever really fallen for and then missed his chance with.

He turned his attention back to the game, his hand coming to rest on Rory's ankle as she continued to knead her thumbs into his back soothingly. At least she'd be there. She always seemed to make things so much easier for him, like an anchor in his mind, keeping him on the ground and where he was needed.

* * *

Authors' Note: Hope you enjoyed this one because this was one of my favorites! Share, comment, kudos, like whatever I like hearing from you. It makes all this worth it to know people like it.

Playlist:

Miss Kiss Kiss Bang - Alex Swings Oscar Sings

That Man - Caro Emerald

The Draw - Bastille


	16. When I Think About You

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 16:

* * *

She thought about it for days afterward. That moment. The _Kiss_. She wasn't sure why her brain treated it like it was a big deal, because it wasn't. It had been an accidental peck and nothing more...But it had been nice. Totally clichéd and the thought about it even now still made her laugh and grin like a fool, but nice none the less. It didn't matter if it meant nothing, it was still a nice kiss. It had been a while since she'd had a nice kiss. It had been a while since she'd had a kiss at all and she figured that was why she was thinking it about it so much.

Thinking about the kiss also made her think about what he'd said about her not being a bad choice for a first time. Sex wasn't a big deal to her. She'd had it and enjoyed it but she knew Steve had old values. He shouldn't want to waste it on someone like her but he'd said so himself that he would. She wasn't quite sure how that made her feel. On one hand it made her insides squirm because, hell yes she would climb that man like a tree if she didn't have a moral compass that was telling her no. She was only human after all.

On the other hand, however, it terrified her.

Steve was safe. He wasn't looking for anyone to love because his heart was broken by time losing Peggy Carter. There wasn't a chance that he would go and do something stupid like fall for her. He was a friend who she was helping adjust to something new and that was it. He wasn't in a frame of mind to want anything more than friendship and neither was she. Which was perfect because she was terrible at that sort of thing.

Steve was her friend and as good looking as he was (she could admit she wouldn't say no if he _wanted_ to kiss her again) she just didn't feel whatever it was she was supposed to feel if she was starting to like him. Instead she felt safe and warm and completely at ease around her friend. Like Arthur or Clint. Except without the occasional lewd comment or flirting.

"Earth to Aurora. Come in Aurora!" Steve waved his hand in front of her face, panting as he leant over her. She was on her back again, having lost focus during sparring and consequently letting him best her. Again. She groaned and took the hand he was holding out to her.

"Oh yeah, I'm fine." She grunted, trying to forget about the damned kiss. "Being tossed around like a rag doll is my _favourite_ pastime." She muttered, dusting herself off. She rubbed where her back had hit the mats after being tossed over Steve's shoulder and groaned softly.

"I told you, you leave your legs wide open for an attack." Steve chuckled, placing his hands on the back of her neck and kneading the muscles there. "It's a small but alarmingly dangerous flaw in your design."

"And yet, in all my years of hand to hand combat, both in training and in the field, no one has ever exploited it." She rolled her eyes. "I think you're just knit picking something that isn't there."

Steve laughed. "Third time today I've had you on your back."

"Maybe I like being there." She shot back quickly, reaching up to take her hair out of the confines of the elastic.

Steve laughed louder and she flipped him off, stalking off to find her water bottle. He followed her.

"You let your frustrations get the better of you. The more frustrated you get the more mistakes you make." He pointed out, knowing it was going to annoy her some more. He liked ticking her off like this. Liked how red her face got when she was frustrated and flustered.

This was their usual training routine. He pushed her hard because he knew she was capable of great things and she hit back harder because he often beat her and she hated that.

Sometimes Arthur, Clint and Natasha joined them and other times it was just the two of them. He liked those the best somehow. He could focus solely on her.

"I do not."

"You do." He pushed. She glared up at him.

"I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work." She warned him, pushing some hair out of her eyes. He widened his eyes, a picture of false innocence.

"What am I trying to do, Aurora?" He asked, a slow smile creeping on his features. Her short temper was a thing he needed to exploit frequently. It was hilarious when she got mad.

"Make me mad so you can toss me around some more because I 'make mistakes'" She quoted with her fingers and rolled her eyes. "I do _not_ make mistakes when I'm mad."

"Yes you do."

" _No_ I don't."

"You do."

"Steve."

"Aurora?"

She huffed and threw her water bottle onto the bench. In the blink of an eye she launched herself toward him, fists swinging hard and fast.

He caught them easily, dropping his shoulder so he could throw her over it and walk back to the mats. As soon as she was back on her feet she came at him in a flurry of quick steps and blurred hands. Twice she caught him, her fists smashing into his ribs before he could dodge them and he laughed.

Which only pissed her off a little more.

Finally, she brought the fight to an end when she wrapped herself around his torso and swung them both to the floor, ending up on top of him with her thighs either side of his ribs, a move he'd seen Natasha execute more than once.

"Alright I tap out." He breathed out hard, tapping the matts.

"Did I make a mistake?" She asked him, leaning over so her face was close.

"A couple." He admitted and she squeezed with her thighs. He chuckled. "But I'm being picky."

"Exactly." She smiled triumphantly. She rolled off him and flopped to the side, laying on her back on the blue mats.

They lay in silence for a few minutes before Steve spoke.

"I think I will come with you for the 4th of July." He said in a quiet voice, nerves getting the better of him finally. He was still so scared to see Peggy, about what feelings would be dredged up but he needed to do it.

Rory turned her head to look at him and found him looking up at the roof. He turned and looked at her after a beat, his insides tight. He loosed a breath when he was met with her wide smile.

"Grandma and Pa are going to be thrilled you're coming." She sounded so confident that he actually felt a little relieved."Are you nervous?" Rory asked him, turning to her side to look at him.

"About seeing your grandparents again?" He asked. She nodded in response. "Yeah, I am." He replied. "I'm nervous about seeing Peggy. I… wanted so much from us and I never got it."

"It doesn't help that it still feels like yesterday to you." Rory added, her lips pulling into a sympathetic smile.

"It's feeling less and less like yesterday." He sighed, turning his head to look back at the roof. "More and more like a lifetime ago."

"That's good though, right?" She asked him. He paused for a moment, considering it. "It means you're getting used to being here."

"I suppose it is." He nodded. "Can't hang around in the 40's forever."

"Moving forward helps everyone." She sat up, gathering her curls into a bunch at the nape of her neck again. "You should hit the town with Arthur and Tony or something, get them to help you meet some girls." She suggested lightly.

Steve's head whipped around to face her so fast the mats squeaked in protest.

"What?" He let out a huff of a laugh and sat up. "Are you suggesting I have Arthur and _Tony_ set me up to get over Peggy?"

"Well, yeah." Rory shrugged, rising to her feet in a graceful movement. "Who better than the two biggest womanisers we know to introduce you to girls." She grinned, nudging Steve with her foot.

"Both of them are in committed relationships now so I don't think they count anymore." Steve shook his head, knocking her foot out of the way. She skittered around him, switching feet to nudge him again.

"Well we don't know about Arthur for sure. That's still freaking me out, I've never seen him so crazy over someone." Rory frowned lightly, tapping Steve again with her foot. "and as for Tony, playing wingman is the closest he's gonna get now." She snorted a laugh. "I think he'd love to help you."

"I don't think I'm really ready for the kinds of girls those two know."

"What kind of girl are you ready for, then?" She asked, teasing him.

"I don't know. Someone nice and caring who can take care of herself?" He shrugged a shoulder, unsure where his willingness to talk about this was coming from. _Someone like you_ the thought came out of nowhere and he squashed it down quickly. Someone _like_ Aurora _would_ be the perfect girl for him, he just needed to find her. He reached out to grab her foot but she moved just out of his reach.

"What about Sharon?" Rory suggested with a grin. Steve snorted.

"Sharon? As in your cousin?" Steve's eyebrows rose into his hairline.

"That's the one. She's nice, funny… can definitely take care of herself." Rory grinned. Steve shook his head.

"She's… not exactly what I'm looking for, no." He eased up onto his feet, balancing his weight between them. He watched Rory in front of him closely.

"She's _exactly_ what you're looking for." She laughed, shaking her head. She wasn't paying attention to him anymore, the topic of conversation was far more interesting to her than his body language.

"Am I what she's looking for?" He asked, moving slowly. He was almost ready. She just needed to step a little to the left.

"Oh sure why wouldn't you be? You're what every woman is looking for." Aurora waved her hand flippantly. "Strong, athletic, good looking, a fucking superhero. You're a babe, Steve Rogers." She laughed.

She stepped left and Steve launched himself off his feet. He dropped his shoulder, ready to send her over it so he could flip her again but she stepped right at the last second. He barrelled past her and rolled on the mats, landing on his back with his limbs spread wide.

"Did you think I wasn't paying attention?" Rory stood over him, her smiling face above his.

"A little." He admitted.

She smirked. "Silly boy." She laughed. "C'mon Cap, we have some stuff to do before I take you home to meet my grandparents." She kicked his thigh and walked away from him.

Steve sat up and sighed. "I've never met a girls grandparents before."

She looked at him over her shoulder and winked. "Well looks like I'll be your first for something then."

"You could be my first for a lot of things." He offered, smoothing a hand through his hair. Rory's head snapped around fast enough to make her stumble, the kiss and surrounding conversation flickering through her mind again. Steve sprang to his feet, jogging over to meet her.

"What the hell does that mean?" She asked, blinking rapidly at him "I told you I'm a bad choice!" Steve chuckled and wrapped an arm around her neck, making her move toward the door again.

"And I said you wouldn't be." He grinned at her in that irresistible way that seemed to make her heart skip a couple of beats. She let the silence hang in the air again as she struggled to understand what it all meant.

* * *

"Are you the reason why Captain Rogers hasn't been to see me since last Thursday?"

The cold voice made Rory look up from her desk in surprise. She was met with an equally cold stare from one Doctor Holstein and she fought hard not to groan.

"No?" Rory shook her head, looking away from the woman and back at the report from the latest Strike Team mission she was analysing, choosing which information needed to be redacted before it went into the files.

"Well why has he missed his last 3 sessions with me?" Holstein tapped a finger on the top of Rory's cubicle, making her look up again. A long, green, dagger shaped nail tapped against the metal and set Rory's teeth on edge.

"I don't know?" She wasn't lying as she looked away. She wasn't aware Steve hadn't been going to his sessions. As far as she knew he'd been going every second day like he was supposed to, to talk about whatever it was he needed to talk about. He and Rory didn't talk about Holstein, not since she'd threatened Rory outside the mission room.

There was silence and Aurora dared to look up again, finding Holstein glaring down at her with those piercing green eyes.

"Honestly, I don't know. We don't talk about you and I thought he had been going." She answered honestly.

"No. He hasn't and he needs to if he's going to visit Agent Carter at the end of the week." Holstein almost looked like she was pouting as she glanced around the office. Rory smiled wryly. Maybe she _was_ concerned for him after all. She really did hope that somewhere in the cold, green abyss that seemed to make up the woman, she cared about Steve. She liked to believe she wasn't purposely trying to hurt him.

"Miss him?"

Holstein snapped her gaze back onto Rory.

"He's my patient and he needs to attend his sessions if he's ever going to recover." Came her steely reply.

Rory actually did chuckle at that.

"It's ok to be friends with him, even if he is your patient. It's also ok if you miss him." She was _trying_ to change her attitude about Holstein, for both her own sake and Steve's. It needed to start with what she thought about the woman. She was sure, under it all, she was pleasant enough. Today she even looked half human, casually dressed in a black and white striped t-shirt and tight fitting jeans. Her hair was pulled back in a sleek ponytail and she didn't smell like that awful perfume.

"I'm just concerned. That is all. Do you know where he is?" She demanded and Rory rolled her eyes, looking down at her work again.

"Contrary to what Barton and Stark both say, Steve and I aren't attached at the hip. I don't know where he is while I'm at work." She replied with a shake of her head. "Try calling his phone."

"I have. It rings out."

"So he's probably at the gym training with Clint, or at the arms range with Natasha; Or he's just simply in his apartment, watching TV like a normal guy." Rory shrugged, smirking at the possibility of him screening Holstein's calls.

"There was no answer at his apartment." Holstein sighed.

Rory glanced up again, hoping she looked half apologetic.

"I'm sorry then, Doc. I really don't know."

Holstein stared at her for half a second before she turned.

"If you hear from him, tell him he needs to see me immediately. It's a direct order from Fury before he leaves for Boston." She called over her shoulder. Rory rolled her eyes and saluted before she took out her phone, pressing speed dial for Steve.

It picked up after 3 rings.

"Who taught you how to screen calls?" She asked in amusement after he said hello.

" _What_?" He asked, sounding a little out of breath.

"Ignoring Holstein's calls? It's called screening."

"I wasn't – how do you even _know_ that?" He asked, sounding exasperated and Rory laughed.

"She stopped by my desk, demanding to know where you were." She rolled her eyes and glanced at the latest _Glamour!_ Magazine. "Obviously she hasn't read the tabloids lately because I'm old news for you."

" _Wait, what?"_ He sounded more confused than he had before and she laughed again.

"You've skipped a couple of sessions, she's kind of pissed. You also apparently dumped me for Rachel Bilson, according to Glamour Magazine." She sighed and tossed the magazine aside. "I have to say, I'm a little heartbroken."

" _Oh._ " He went quiet for a moment, his breath starting to slow. " _I don't even know who Rachel Bilson is, so will you take me back?"_ Rory snorted again and muttered a sure. " _As for Holstein, I'm still kinda mad at her after the last mission. What she said to you, sending me on it in the first place… I guess I've just been avoiding her."_

Rory pursed her lips and ran a hand through her hair. she didn't blame him for avoiding the woman but that wasn't protocol. He needed to stick with the sessions long enough to be cleared.

"You know it's still a requirement for you to go, right?" She asked him gently, leaning back in her chair.

" _Yeah, I know. It just feels like a waste of time."_ She heard someone whistle and call _HERE REX_ and she frowned. It almost sounded like he was at a park in public. " _Talking to you helps more than she ever has."_ A surge of pride seeped into Rory's chest and she couldn't help but smile.

"Where are you?"

" _Central Park. It was a nice day for a run."_

"And you haven't been spotted yet?"

" _Not that I can see. Remember how last night you said my beard was getting a little out of control? Turns out people don't recognize me if I don't shave every day._ " He sounded triumphant and Rory laughed loudly.

"Well that's one way to do it." She said, smiling widely.

The beard was more than a little out of control and it was ridiculously attractive. It had started to come through a fair blond colour and then all of a sudden it was like a Canadian lumberjack, dark and wild. Sharon had managed to trim it into something respectable but there was no way trimming it could stop the despicable thoughts Rory had running through her mind sometimes.

"Look, you need to go see Holstein before we leave for Grandma's. Fury's orders. I don't want her at my desk again, she scared the crap out of me." She shivered, remembering the cold green eyes.

" _I guess I should. Don't know what I'm going to talk about but I will."_

"Thank you." She closed the file on her desk, looking at her watch. "What time are you heading back to the tower?"

" _Now, Arthur wants to test out the new bar and pool room Tony just finished installing."_

"Yeah, Pepper told me. I don't think she wants to be the only woman there." Rory laughed lightly. "I'll see you there, ok?"

" _Sounds swell, Doll."_ He agreed, absently. " _I'll be back soon."_

"Be careful. Talk like that too loud and the beard won't keep you hidden for long." Rory smiled fondly before hanging up.

* * *

The day to head to Boston came around much quicker than Steve expected. He stood beside Rory's car, looking at his reflection in the window, his head full of questions.

What did you say to a girl you'd promised a date with and then you never showed up?

What did you say to a girl who had moved on with one of your closest friends?

Hell, what did you say to that _friend_?

They swirled in his head and he felt like he was seconds away from backing out of this trip all together.

"Steve?" Rory's voice cut through his thoughts and he turned to where she was standing at the back of the car, peering at him. "You ready?" She asked, her amber eyes studying him closely. He shook off her look and dragged his bag to her, slinging it into the trunk beside hers.

"Yeah," He nodded, closing the trunk with a snap. "Yeah I'm ready. You sure you don't want me to drive?" he asked for the third time since they'd started packing up the car.

Rory shook her head, skipping around to her side of the car. "No offence, Steve. I'm sure you drive fine but _no one_ drives my baby but me." She grinned, sliding into the seat.

Steve chuckled and followed her lead, slamming the door behind him. She turned the key and the engine roared to life.

"This is some car." He looked around the leather interior, his eyes landing on her last. She looked good behind the wheel, her legs long and smooth and her eyes bight.

"My brothers redid her for me. She's from the 60s. She's my beast." Rory replied as she backed the car out of her space in Stark Tower parking garage. She peeled out of the parking garage and into the early morning New York traffic. "If you're lucky I'll let you drive her back." She added lightly and he grinned.

"Oh gee, would you?" He said in a teasing voice. She gave him a look and picked up her phone as the traffic came to a stand still. Music filled the car and she stashed her phone again.

"I made a road trip playlist for us." She said, as she started to drive again.

"Oh yeah?" Steve raised an eyebrow. "What's on this road trip playlist?" He asked.

"Every song you need to know to be a functioning member of the New Age." She looked at him, nodding sagely. "Only my favourite songs from every decade since you went under. They're all very important."

Steve chuckled at how serious she looked. "I'll do my best to memorise every single one." He nodded to the radio. "What's this one, then?"

"The Beatles _I Wanna Hold Your Hand_. February 1964. They were the biggest boy band of their generation, still great today." She explained as she drove. "They were catchy and fun and people went crazy for them."

Steve listened to the tune and found himself liking it.

"I can see why." He nodded. "I like it."

"Good. It's one of my favourites." She smiled, running a hand through her hair. "Oh hey, can you get my sunglasses out of the glove compartment?" She asked him.

He nodded and reached for the latch. As the flap opened, a sketchpad and some pencils fell out into his lap.

"I uh.. sorry…" He muttered, picking them up. He noticed the red bow on the front of the sketchpad and his name attached to it. "Wait, you don't draw…" He flicked through the book, finding it blank.

"You do though." She smiled, reaching over to take her sunglasses from their place in the compartment. "I thought you might like to scrub up on some skills on the 3 or so hour drive."

Rory could feel Steve's eyes on her and she resisted looking at him. "What?" She laughed finally, side glancing him as she merged into traffic.

"Why?"

"Because I've seen the little doodles around the place and they're fantastic. I thought you might like to practice something you clearly enjoy." She replied, not sure how to take his reaction. Had the present been a mistake.

"They're just doodles." Steve muttered, looking down at the blank page. His fingers itched to draw something new and he knew exactly what his first subject would be.

"So draw something that's not a doodle." Rory shrugged. He looked at her, really looked at her and felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude for her. The woman knew him better than anyone in this time ad she cared like few ever had. She was up there with Bucky and his parents and she was fast replacing Peggy in his mind.

He watched as she leaned back in her seat, one hand lazily draped on the wheel, the other resting against the window ledge, fingers tangled in soft, red curls. She was his muse.

He started to sketch immediately, enjoying the relaxing atmosphere of the car. He knew what she was trying to do with the present. She was trying to get him to stop thinking about whom he would be seeing in a few, short, hours and he told her so.

"Hey, if I can make this easier for you, I will." She looked at him, smiling softly.

"You're amazing, do you know that?" He asked and she laughed, shaking her head. God, women would kill to hear those words come out of his mouth. She could see why. He was absolutely fricken' gorgeous and the way he was looking at her at the present moment made her stomach flip.

"I've been told." She smirked, turning the dial up as The Spice Girls, _Stop_ started to play. She hummed along with the tune, letting a comfortable silence fall over them.

It was only when Backstreet Boys _Backstreet's Back_ came on did she look over and realize what he'd been sketching.

"Holy shit, that's _me_." She squealed, pointing at the picture she could see Steve sketching. She glanced over her shoulder to merge onto the CT-15 N into Connecticut and then reached for the sketchpad. "Steve, this is…"

"It'll get better the more I practice." He said hastily, reaching for the book. She knocked his hand out of the way as she grabbed it, pulling the book from his fingers to rest it on the steering wheel so she could have a good long look.

"This is gorgeous." She murmured, her eyes taking in every detail of her own image. He'd drawn her exactly how she was seated behind the wheel, one hand in her hair, the other draped over the wheel. Every single detail was prefect from her curls to the small constellation of freckles on the side of her thigh.

She looked way more beautiful than she ever thought she could look and she wondered if this was how Steve saw her every day. Her stomach flipped again at the thought.

"It's not great. I'll get better though." He assured her, the tips of his ears turning an adorable shade of red.

"You made me beautiful!" She laughed, a little breathless.

"Well, yeah. You are." Steve replied. "It wasn't hard."

"Steve," She shook her head in disbelief as she handed the book back. "It's perfect. I want that when you've finished it." She smiled widely.

"Yes ma'am." He nodded bashfully, looking down at the paper. She chuckled. The song changed and he grunted in recognition.

"Is this… Edith Piaf?" He asked in surprise as the sounds of _La vi en Rose_ filled the car. It was the first song on the list that he actually recognized.

"It is." She nodded with a smile. "It's one of Grandma's favourites. She used to sing it to me when I was younger." She turned the dial the turned it up to sing along in perfect French, smiling to herself as she did.

Steve watched Rory in amusement. She knew every word, every syllable and had a lovely voice. It was obviously a favourite of hers as well. "I remember when this song came out."

"I bet." Rory snorted, shaking her head. It was so easy to forget what time Steve grew up in. The longer she was around him the more he learned about todays world and the more she forgot he was actually 95.

" _Vous parlez bien le français"_

Rory almost choked on the air she inhaled. _"Vous parlez français?_ " She was shocked and impressed and when she looked at him she was more than a little attracted to him. One of her biggest weaknesses in life was a pretty man who could speak the language of love.

" _Oui. Je parle Français, Allemand, Espagnol, Japonais, et un peu d'Italien.._ " He finished with a smile.

"Holy shit." Rory burst out laughing. "I had no idea."

"Wasn't it in my file?" He asked, poking fun at her.

"I may have glossed over it. I assumed I knew everything about you." She replied, only half joking.

"Oh good, there's still mystery in me yet." He smiled, putting his pencil back to the paper to continue to draw. Rory watched him a moment longer before the song change had her reaching for the dial to crank the music up loud.

"Out of every song on this playlist, Steve. _This_ is my favourite." She told him confidently as the music sped up. Her grin was wide and wicked and he was a little apprehensive as to what this song was.

He listened closely as a crooning feminine voice started to sing.

" _I don't want anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself…_ "

He choked. His eyes widened comically. He reached to turn the song down, only to have his hands swatted away by Aurora. She dancing in her seat beside him, looking too good for words.

He shifted in his seat.

" _I get down on my knees, I'd do anything for you…"_ She sang and Steve groaned. This song was doing nothing but paint ridiculous scenario's in his mind where Rory was down on her knees in front of him and –

"C'mon Aurora, this song is –"

"A goddamned classic, Steve. It's the Divinyls. It's basically a sacrilege to turn it off!" She grinned at him, giving him a wink. " _I want you. I don't want anybody else. When I think about you… I touch myself."_ She spoke along with the words, batting her eyelashes at him innocently. His cheeks exploded with a bright red blush and she peeled off into a bout of laughter again. "You're too adorable when you blush."

He opened to a new page, willing himself to draw anything but what was on his mind.

"It's not funny." He started sketching a chair to push the image of Aurora with her hands down her pants out of his mind.

"It definitely is." She nodded. "It's too _easy!_ " She sounded positively delighted and he sighed.

"Irish complexion." He muttered. "It's a damn curse." He paused. "And I've made you blush a fair few times, doll, so don't get too cocky." He glanced at her, shaking his head in amusement.

"Ok 1. The curse is you're kinda uptight about everything and 2. You've made me blush a handful of times and it's been out of surprise more than anything" She held up two fingers, laughing at him.

"I'm not uptight." He grumbled, the sketch of a chair taking shape.

"Oh you so are! We just have to mention girls or I flirt with you or someone makes some kind of vulgar joke and you go as red as a tomato. You gotta live a little Steve, find yourself a pretty girl… have some fun while you're young!" She reached over without looking and tapped his bicep with her fist.

 _If only you knew what I was really thinking_ he thought to himself.

"It's just, uh, not how I was raised ma'am. My momma always told me to be a good boy." He looked at her with a sinful smirk as he wondered what she would do if he actually tried anything on her. He was half convinced she wouldn't say no.

Aurora glanced at him, still laughing but the laughter caught in her throat as she met his gaze. God, he was looking at her like he was undressing her with his eyes and his grin was so rougish, so… cheeky that it made her heart thud. Bedroom eyes and a Captain America smile – she would _never_ forget that look.

 _Ever_.

She had to physically turn her body to look out of the windshield again.

"Sometimes I think that your 'good boy' routine is just an act." She cleared her throat, willing herself not to look back at him.

"An act for what?" Steve asked, grinning at the obvious fluster he'd put her in. There was definitely a blush on the apples of her cheeks and he felt triumphant.

"An act for an incredibly dirty mind." She suggested with a shrug. "I don't know, but sometimes I have this feeling that Tony is wrong about the whole 'virgin' thing." She waved her hands, not turning to look at him again.

Steve's smirk deepened and he looked back at his sketchpad, adding a body sitting on the chair he'd been drawing. "Tony can think what he likes. If it makes him happy then so be it."

Rory raised an eyebrow. "So does that mean you're not?"

"Not what?"

"A virgin." She sounded exasperated and he laughed.

"Did you want to stick around and find out, Doll?" He asked, glancing at her from under dark lashes.

"Steve!" She squeaked, laughing slightly. "Bad choice, remember?"

"Whatever you say." He laughed and shook his head. "It means that I'm not exactly naive. You grew up around the military, you know how soldiers talk." He replied, his pencil tracing over the soft curves of the likeness on white paper. "Things haven't changed that much in 70 years, I promise you."

"Oh I know how they talk." She laughed. "I know how they act too…" She sighed, glancing at him. "You're not gonna tell me the truth are you?"

"Nope." He shook his head, shifting in his seat so his leg was propped up enough to lean on. "Like I said doll, stick around to find out if you want."

Rory's heart beat in triple time. God, she wanted to. What she wouldn't give to taste just an inch of that beautiful man.

She was pretty sure he was joking, she hoped at least.

"You shouldn't promise a girl such things." She murmured, reaching for the dial as Weezer's _If You're Wondering_ started playing.

"What's this?" Steve asked after a few moments.

"Weezer. My favourite song from my early 20s." She smiled fondly. "Favourite band from my early 20s. The only thing I can listen to without thinking of him." She added absently.

Steve nodded, turning the song up a little bit more. "I like it." He commented and Rory smiled.

"Me too." She murmured, sighing happily as she passed a sign that had _Boston_ written on it.

She was going home.

* * *

The Dugan Residence was a very nice, two-story, Victorian style home in the middle of West Roxbury, a neighborhood that was situation about 30 minutes from the city center of Boston. It had lovely gardens, a stone retainer wall with stone steps that led right to the front door. It was everything Steve could ever have wanted in a home and Peggy had done it without him.

"Home sweet home." Rory sighed happily, slamming the trunk closed after Steve had taken their bags from it. "C'mon, everyone must be out the back." She beckoned to him as she jogged up the porch stairs.

Steve followed behind her, toeing off his shoes before he stepped through the door.

His stomach was in knots as he walked inside, knowing that once he did it would be well and truly over for him and Peg in his mind.

The interior was as beautiful as the exterior; the walls a deep shade of ruby, trimmed in white that offset the polish mahogany floorboards. Sunlight poured through wide and open windows, illuminating the various pictures that hung on the walls.

To the right was a set of stairs and to the left there was a small sitting room, with more pictures of the family through the years. Straight ahead he could hear the sounds of people talking, in the distance there were splashes, a child screaming in delight and a dog barking.

"This place is beautiful." Steve commented as he placed the bags beside the staircase. A picture of a little girl with pigtails and missing her front teeth caught his eye and he leaned in closer to look.

He realized after a moment it was Rory and he smiled gently.

"Thank – Ah no." She grabbed his shoulders, tugging him to make him turn away. "No looking at kid photos!" She laughed and he turned to face her.

"Why? You were cute. Look at those freckles." He teased gently. "What was that award for?"

"Tae Kwon Do. That was the day I got my Green Belt and won a competition." She replied.

"I didn't know you did martial arts." Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Yup. Taw Kwon Do, Hapkido and Kung Fu." She nodded. "Grant and Maggie did it, so of course I had to." She tugged him away from the pictures again. "C'mon, this way."

She walked toward the door where the sounds of people floated through.

" _HANNAH AND TUCKER! NO RUNNING IN THE KITCHEN! OUT NOW"_ A woman's voice yelled and Steve slowed slightly, unsure of what he was about to walk into. " _TAKE THE DAMN DOG WITH YOU!"_ He was trying so hard to pretend that he wasn't nervous about seeing Dugan and Peggy again but he could feel that false confidence slipping ever so slightly now he was faced with meeting their family.

"That's Alison, Grant's wife." Rory told him in a quiet voice as she slipped past him so she could enter first. She paused in front of him and smiled encouragingly.

"She's the doctor I need to thank?"

"Yeah. That's her." Rory smiled in amusement at his protectiveness. "C'mon they won't bite, sounds like we're the last of the family to get here." She took his hand and squeezed it before stepping forward and entering the kitchen.

"Hello?" She yelled out, making the three women preparing food jump.

"AHHHH!" Someone screamed and suddenly it was like a bomb had gone off. Three women all started all talking at once and Steve stood off to the side as Rory was pulled in for hugs and kisses. They all spoke rapidly; Steve only caught glimpses of the conversation but she looked happier than he'd ever seen her.

He watched as the women fussed over Rory. He enjoyed seeing the smile that lit up her features. Steve was sure he hadn't seen her smile that hard in the time that he'd known her but it was radiant and beautiful and he wanted her to look like that always.

Maggie spotted him and left the others to greet him.

"Steve! You made it." She smiled widely at him and hugged him tightly. He froze slightly, not expecting such a warm embrace but soon tucked his arms around her and smiled. "Come, come meet Alison and Jo. They're married to Grant and Tim." She pulled him toward the other women, who also greeted him with tight hugs.

"You must be the famous Steve Rogers." Jo was a petite woman with long dark hair and brilliant blue eyes.

"I wouldn't say I'm famous ma'am." He smiled politely at her. She huffed a laugh, rubbing her hand over her belly, which stuck out a mile, signalling that she was very close to having another baby. The toddler on her hip grinned at him, holding out a toy truck for Steve to take.

"I'm sorry, I must be getting you confused with the other Steve Rogers who happens to be Captain America and all over the tabloids right now." She hummed and Steve couldn't help but laugh. The baby made a noise and thrust the toy truck at Steve again. He had to take it, thanking the dark haired child with a smile. "This is Joshua." Jo introduced the baby, who was blinking eyes identical to his mothers at him. "He's almost two."

"Hey Joshua." Steve greeted, holding the truck out for him again. Joshua took it in a chubby fist.

"He's so polite." The second woman, Alison, spoke.

"Oh to a fault." Rory laughed. "Steve, this is Alison." She introduced them.

Steve nodded again, hugging the tall, red headed woman back when she hugged him.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Steve." Her green eyes sparkled. "I married Grant. Dum Dum has done nothing but talk about you since he found out you were coming."

"I apologise for that. I hope it was only good things." He chuckled, grimacing slightly. "It's lovely to meet you." He felt Rory's hand on his back and it steadied him, a comforting gesture that he needed.

A loud bark came from the door and her hand left him as she cried out. "BISCUIT!" She yelled, dropping to her knees as the door was opened and a large, golden dog raced into her arms.

The dog wriggled around, happily barking at her as she laughed and drew him into her arms. "That's her dog?"

"Oh yeah, she loves that stupid dog." Alison agreed. "Hates having to leave him here when she's in New York."

"AUNT RORY!" A small voice bellowed out. Steve glanced up at the door to see a small boy grinning widely from ear to ear, dripping wet and positively wriggling with excitement. "MOM I NEED A TOWEL QUICK!" Alison laughed and left Steve's side to help her son dry off.

Behind him Steve could see a very nice entertaining area and a big, blue pool. Three men crowded around a barbecue, beers in their hands as food sizzled on the hot pan.

"TUCK!" Rory yelled back, getting to her feet. "HANNAH!" She added as a small girl pushed past the boy and ran inside, by passing the towel.

"Hannah! Towel!" Jo exclaimed, tossing a towel toward the small girl who was wrapping her arms around Rory's neck.

"Look how big you both are! Oh my gosh!" Rory laughed, falling back on her heels slightly as Tucker pushed in for a hug. "You're all wet!"

"We're playing in the pool Aunt Rory!" Hannah exclaimed happily, shaking with excitement. She pulled away from Rory and Steve noticed she had the same amber coloured eyes like Aurora. "Come play with us!"

"Yeah, come play with us!" Tucker yelled.

"Inside voice, Tuck." Alison chastised.

Rory laughed and climbed to her feet. "I will soon guys. I have to show Steve to his room first." She pointed to Steve and the kids eyes followed her finger. Small eyes widened as their necks craned. Hannah went quiet.

"Who's that?" Tuck asked, running a hand through his shock of red hair.

"This is a very good friend of mine. His name is Steve." She explained. "He's also friends with Grandma and Pa." She glanced up at him, smiling.

"No." Hannah said in a very small voice. Rory looked at her and blinked in confusion. " _That's_ Captain America."

Steve chuckled a little and knelt down in front of her. "I'm only Captain America with the suit on." He told her as the women laughed. "For now, I'm just Steve."

Hannah's eyes were as wide as saucers as she nodded at him. "Ok Mr Captain Sir."

The parents laughed and Hannah hid her face against Jo's legs.

"Are you gonna come in the pool Steve?" Tucker asked, not fazed at all about who Steve was. "You gotta, it's really big and really deep! You have to see my bomb dive!"

" _Tucker_ , stop yelling in the house!" Alison said with an exasperated tone.

"Sorry, Mom." Tucker gave an impish grin and shrugged his shoulder, not sorry in the slightest.

"I'll come in in a little bit, ok Buddy?" Steve told him as he straightened up. Tucker let out a whooping cry and disappeared into the garden again. Hannah took off after him, her shrill scream cutting through the day. A splash cut it off a moment later.

"I'm sorry about him." Alison apologised, shaking her head with an affectionate smile on her face. "I swear the volume comes entirely from the Dugan side of things."

Steve knelt down again to tangle his fingers in Biscuits fur. "Oh I can imagine." He laughed. "It's hard to get a moment's peace with this one around." He threw his thumb toward Rory, teasing her affectionately.

"Hey!" Rory said indignantly. "I'm not that – PA!"

Steve's back stiffened as she pushed past him, her fingers brushing his shoulder, and went to hug her Grandfather.

"My girl, you're finally here." Dugan's thick South Boston accent filled the room and Steve sucked in a deep breath and stood up. He turned to see Rory engulfed by large arms belonging to a man Steve remembered all too well. His red moustache was peppered with grey and his skin was more wrinkled that it had once been, but the bowler hat and wide smile was most definitely Dum Dum Dugan.

A younger Dum Dum Dugan than he'd been imagining.

He frowned, trying to remember when Dugan's birthday was. It was definitely before Steve's… 1916? 1915? He couldn't remember but there was no way the Dugan in front of him was over 100.

"Jesus Christ. Gabe wasn't kidding was he?" Dugan's grin widened exponentially. Aurora turned to look at Steve, stepping out from under her grandfathers arms. "You haven't aged a day."

"I told you. He's exactly the same as the day he went under." Rory winked at him. Steve wanted to smile back but he couldn't quite manage it. He was still confused as to why Dugan looked about 60 instead of... well... ancient.

"You haven't changed as much as I was anticipating." His eyebrow rose slightly, his eyes meeting Rory's. Her smile faltered slightly and her fingers went to her mouth. Dugan glanced at her in surprise.

"You didn't tell him?"

"I may have forgotten…" Rory let her hands slip from her lips. Dugan laughed as Maggie muttered _idiot_ and ushered the other two women out of the kitchen and into the garden.

"Tell me what?" Steve glanced between Dugan and Rory, confused by what was going on. "How're you standing there, Dugan? You're 99 years old and yet you look –"

"60? 65 at a stretch?" Dugan answered for him. Steve nodded. "I'm surprised Fury didn't tell you."

"I'm not." Rory shook her head. "I'm sorry Steve, I just… It doesn't occur to me that he's different."

"All I was told was you retired a few years ago." Steve's insides felt like jelly on a plate, all wobbly from his nerves. Dugan wasn't supposed to be so young, and if he looked this young how did Peggy look?

"You ever hear about Sternberg's formula?" Dugan crossed his arms across himself.

"No." Steve shook his head. "But something tells me it's similar to Erskine's?" He was connecting the dots in his mind now and Dugan's nod confirmed what he was thinking.

"He called it the 'Infinity Serum'. It's a weaker version of what you have and it's not a one time thing." Dugan explained. "I started having the shots when I was about 35 and it slowed my ageing dramatically. It made me more sturdy, heightened my senses, gave me a bit of strength." He waved a hand. "It let me stick around to watch over my family a little longer and that was all I was worried about."

"Did Peg –" The words stuck in Steve's throat and he took a deep breath.

"We both decided that it was best if we wanted to continue our career path. Peg did it to keep looking for you." Dugan nodded. Steve's heart thudded in his chest.

Peg wasn't an old lady.

Peggy, his Peggy, wasn't an old lady like he'd been imagining. If Dugan was anything to go by, she would look damn good.

Maybe there was hope yet.

Maybe they could –

"Steve?"

"Hmm?" He asked, glancing at Rory. Her face was full of concern and the hope he felt turned to guilt. He couldn't do that to her. He couldn't take her grandmother away. He was ashamed for even thinking it. Peg had had a good life with her family, he needed to be done with all thoughts of her.

"You ok?" She stepped toward him tentatively, her hand outstretched.

"Yeah, I'm ok. It's just a shock, you know." He forced a smile and held his hand out to Dugan. "It's good to see you Dugan. It's been far too long."

Dugan let out a loud, rumbling laugh and clasped his hand in Steve's, yanking the Super Soldier toward him to embrace him in a tight hug. Rory laughed, letting out a breath she'd been holding.

It really hadn't occurred to her that her grandparents weren't conventionally old. It was normal for her, they'd always looked younger than they appeared. It was why her father had looked so young and why Grant and Tim and Maggie and even herself were younger looking than they actually were They all had the serum in their veins, but it wasn't something they talked about.

"Rory, my girl. Take Steve upstairs. We've had to squeeze him into your room." He gave them both a stern look. "I don't have to chat to both of you about _things,_ do I?"

Steve's cheeks flamed bright red. Rory groaned.

"Pa, c'mon! No!" She wrinkled her nose, shaking her head at her grandfather. "You know Steve, he's too polite for his own good."

"HA!" Her grandfather's snort of amusement surprised Rory. "Military, sweetheart. He is not –"

"Dugan." Steve groaned, pinching his brow. "I promise we'll be –"

"Pa! Stop!"

"I know Rogers. I'm only winding her up." Dugan clapped him on the shoulder, a grin on his face. "Go show him around, darling. Peg'll be home any minute."

"Where'd she go anyway?" Rory asked, rolling her eyes and turning to exit the kitchen.

"The store." He replied with no other explanation. Rory nodded and beckoned for Steve to follow. Biscuit pushed out between them, his golden tail wagging wildly as he ran in front of them.

"I'm sorry I didn't warn you." She said, as soon as the door closed behind them. She glanced over her shoulder at him. "It just didn't… occur to me."

"How does it not occur to you? He's forty years younger than he should be!" Steve exclaimed with a slight laugh.

"He's been that way since I was a kid! It's normal for me. You've seen photos!" She turned to him as they reached the stairs and picked up the bags. He promptly took them from her hands.

"I figured they were old photos!" He exclaimed.

"I'm _sorry_."

"It's fine." He conceded. He wasn't actually mad at her, just frustrated he hadn't been forewarned.

"You handled that well though." She grinned at him, her amber eyes sparkling.

"Yeah, well. We'll see how I go with Peg alright?" He shook his head, stepping up the steps behind her.

She pointed out various rooms as they wandered through the very nice, very spacious home until she stopped in front of a bedroom.

"This is us." She smiled, pushing open a door.

The room was warm and bright. Posters and pictures still hung on the walls. Ribbons and trophies dotted around various places in the room. It was very nice, very homey. He could hear the sounds of the kids in the pool from the window so he gathered it overlooked the garden.

"They pulled out the cot." Rory smiled, nodding to the small looking bed on one side of the room. "I'll take it. You're too tall to sleep on that." She chuckled, kicking the edge of it slightly.

"Nope. I'll be fine." He shook his head. He placed his bags on it and Rory's on the larger bed in the middle of the room and stretched. "This is nice."

Rory shook her head, knowing they would argue about it later.

"It hasn't changed since high school." She smiled, glancing at the walls. "None of our rooms have. Grandma couldn't bring herself to change anything. Maggie and I shared until I was 13 and she talked Grandma into letting her move into the attic. They totally renovated it, it's quite nice up there now." She smiled fondly. "I was so happy to have the room to myself though."

"I bet." He murmured, taking a slow walk around the room to take everything in. He felt like he knew Rory a little better after seeing who she used to be. He stopped by the window and looked down. The family were dotted around the garden; a tall, darkhaired man gave a great yell before diving into the pool after a squealing Tucker. The smells of the bbq wafted up to his nose.

"Bis! No! Get down." Rory scolded and Steve turned to see the dog making himself comfortable on the cot.

"He's alright." Steve said with a shake of his head. Rory sighed and joined him by the window.

"So this is us. The family."

"I like it." Steve smiled. He glanced at her. "Thanks for bringing me."

"You're welcome here anytime." She smiled, stepping toward him. She pulled him close for a hug, winding her arms around his waist. He pressed his cheek into her hair, letting out a soft breath.

"Thanks." He murmured, bringing his hand up to run over her hair. She let him, his fingers smoothing her soft, red waves easily before they came to rest on her shoulder. He was grateful. He finally felt, for the first time in almost 5 months, that he had a place in the world.

A call of "GRANDMA!" signalled the arrival of Peggy. Steve loosed a breath, his ears ringing as adrenalin flooded his veins.

"Grandma's home."

Rory smiled, her eyes focusing on the garden again. Steve followed her gaze and watched a woman with familiar curves and slightly greying hair lean over and kiss Dugan. His heart pulled when Dugan wrapped his arms around those curves and kissed her a little harder. "C'mon Steve. She won't bite." Rory patted his back before moving away from him. "I'm gonna get changed before I go down, did you want to wait?"

"Uh, yeah… she looks a little busy." Steve looked away as Dugan pointed up to the house and said something to Peggy. He didn't want to go down alone and Rory seemed to sense this as she rifled through her bag.

"You should change too. No doubt the kids will have us both in the pool in no time at all." She grinned at him, pulling a handful of red string out of her bag. A white blouse followed and he frowned slightly. "I'll be in the bathroom." She opened the door on the other side of the room and stepped inside.

Steve sighed and went to his bag, pulling the swim trunks he'd been told to get out and holding them up, frowning that them. They were a little _looser_ than he was used to but Pepper and Rory had assured him that they were what men wore these days. How he was going to keep things decent was beyond him. Maybe he wouldn't have to go in the water at all…

 _Tuck won't let you stay out of it_ he thought, chuckling to himself.

Shaking his head he stripped his shirt and pants and slid the pants on. He heard Rory knocking from the other side of the door and called out for her to come in.

"I have a towel for you." She walked in, looking down at the two towels in her hand. "Which one did you want? Coca-Cola or pink and white stripes?"

Steve didn't see much past the red string that she had somehow wrapped around her body and he had to blink a few times before he realised he was staring very hard at her almost naked body.

He immediately turned a half circle and stared at the wall in front of him, willing the tenting in his shorts to ease.

"Steve?" Rory asked in confusion.

He cleared his throat. "I thought you were changing." He managed in a relatively normal voice.

"I did."

"You have put anything on." He argued over his shoulder. "You've taken it _off_."

"I have a bikini on. I'm going swimming?" She frowned, looking down at the new, vintage red and white striped bikini that Pepper and Darcy had insisted she get. They weren't all that indecent. The bottoms were semi-high waisted and sat just under her belly button.

"No shirt or pants?" _Or anything inbetween_. He added in his head. He scrubbed his face with his hand and willed himself to clear his mind. _Oh god these pants are too loose_. He groaned at the thought, moving his hand to surreptitiously try and cover his semi-hardon like a freakin' school boy.

"Steve! This is a swim suit." Rory laughed, throwing his towel at his back. "I totally forgot you haven't seen a bikini yet."

" _That_ looks like underwear _."_ He called over his shoulder. He had money that Howard Stark started this trend. He just knew it.

Rory continued to laugh.

"It's called a bikini, hold on I'll button the sun blouse up ok?" She drew the linen blouse together and did a few buttons up. "Better?"

Steve glanced over his shoulder. She was still sans pants but at least she was covered. He breathed out.

"Little warning next time, ok?" He muttered, cheeks scarlet. She let out a laugh and shook her head.

"I'm sorry, I forgot you're a fuddy duddy. Here's your warning: When I go in the pool the shirt is coming off, ok?" She smiled at his expression and his almost audible gulp. "I mean, you're half naked standing there in front of me and I'm managing." She winked at him as she went for the door. " _Just_." She grinned and he let out a laugh.

"AURORA? STEVE! GRANDMA'S HOME!" Maggie's voice floated up to them from the stairs and Rory grinned.

"You ready?" She asked, watching as he grabbed a shirt and pulled it over his body. She suppressed the pout that threatened her lips as his torso was covered up.

"As I'll ever be I guess." He nodded before he followed her out of her room, down the stairs and into the kitchen.

* * *

Author's Note: In order to make up for the short chapter last time, here's an extra long one! Peggy's in the next chapter and I'm almost finished editing this entire piece. I'm dead excited to start on the next one.

If you like this, share it! Comment on it, talk about it, tell your friends. It really helps me as a writer to get my stuff out there and seen. Thanks for all your support!

Playlist:

Touch Myself - Divinyls

Come a Little Closer - Cage the Elephant

New Rush - Gin Wigmore

Backstreet's Back - Backstreet Boys

I will have a full road trip playlist up soon so keep an eye out!


	17. You See Some Hope In Me

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 17: You See Some Hope In Me

* * *

Time seemed to stop when Aurora pulled Steve into the kitchen. Peggy stood on the other side of the bench, arguing softly with a tall man with the same dark hair and eyes as herself. She was pointing to the door Steve had just stepped through but wasn't looking his way just yet.

She looked better than he'd ever seen her. She still had her killer curves and her hair was styled in a no-fuss way. Her lips were the same shade of red he remembered, even though she was dressed casually in white slacks and a peach top. She was older yes but she was as beautiful as when he'd last laid eyes on her.

His ears rang and he swallowed hard. It was like he was having an asthma attack as the air stuck in his throat and wouldn't reach his lungs. The only thing keeping him from losing it completely was the firm grip Aurora had on his hand.

"She'll be right out, Grant. There doesn't need to be an audience for this." He could hear her accent as clear as day, even if her voice was hushed.

"But Grandma –" Grant started to whine but Rory cleared her throat.

Peggy's gaze whipped around to them. She let out a soft gasp and her hands went to the counter to hold on tight and she studied him as if not believing her own eyes.

"You really are alive." The words were soft and she steadied herself on the counter. "Oh my god you… you really are alive."

Rory dropped Steve's hand and left him, moving to her brother to tug him out of the kitchen without another word.

Steve wanted to tell her to stay. He needed her to stay but he knew no one else needed to see this reunion. Blood pounded in his ears and he cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry I'm late, Peg." His feet just stopped working. They were rooted to the spot. All he could do was look at her, take her all in.

Her chestnut hair was peppered with grey streaks and her face was pocketed with laugh lines and wrinkles but it was still Peggy. It was still his Peggy but at the same time it wasn't.

Time had taken her from him, chewed her up and landed her so far away from him that he wanted to cry.

"You're 70 years late," She laughed, her eyes welling up. "But I suppose you're here now and that's all that matters."

"Peg." His voice cracked.

"Oh Steve." She moved toward him, tears spilling down her cheeks.

He met her half way, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair.

He felt her shoulders start to shake and let his own tears fall. They'd been robbed of this. Robbed of a life together. All at once he hated that he'd gotten on that plane, hated that he hadn't done more to try and get out. If only he'd –

"I'm so happy you're alive." She gasped from his arms, pulling him from his struggle. She was gripping him so tightly, as if time would steal him from her once more. He pressed his lips against her hair.

"I'm sorry I never came back." He murmured. "I wanted to Peg, I really thought I was going to make it out."

"We all did. We kept waiting for you." She replied, pulling away from him. She dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief she had procured from somewhere and handed him a second one. "But you didn't and we searched and searched and searched… yet here you are." She laughed, her voice thick with emotion.

Her beautiful brown eyes fell on Steve, taking in every single detail about him.

"Gabe wasn't kidding when he said you looked the same." She said finally, pressing her fingers to her lips to hide her smile. "Modern, but the same."

"No he wasn't." Steve shook his head. "The ice stopped any growth or aging. I'm exactly the same as the day I went under and probably won't look old, ever." He shrugged a shoulder, running a hand through his hair which was longer than it had ever been.

"You lucky thing. What I wouldn't give to look young again." Peggy murmured, sighing heavily. She sat at the breakfast bar, beckoning Steve to join her.

"You're still young, Peg. You don't look near as old as I thought you would. You're still beautiful." Steve said as he sat beside her. She linked her arm through his and held him tightly.

"I am old Steve. Time has been kind thankfully but I'm still an old woman." She shook her head. "How has it been, being back and _here_?"

She meant 2012, Steve knew. The _Future_. He nodded slowly, trying to work out how to phrase all he wanted to say. "Better every day." He settled on finally. "I'm still adjusting, still getting used to things. There's… so much to take in. Aurora's helped a lot." He added, smiling softly. Peg squeezed his arm tightly. "The future is actually pretty great when she makes me look at the bigger picture."

"I'm glad. She cares about you very much." Peggy smiled warmly. She moved to the breakfast bar and took a seat on a stool. Steve followed her, sitting on the very edge. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you woke up." Peggy dabbed her eyes again, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Nick didn't even tell me until you were awake. Then he said it was best if I stay away. _A Psychiatrist_ said so." Peggy rolled her eyes and Steve laughed. It reminded him of Aurora, full of sass and sarcasm.

"Yeah, Aurora isn't too sweet on the idea of her either." He said with a chuckle. "She's alright though. She helped, may have made some mistakes but you can't blame her. I don't think there's a place you can learn how to deal with time travellers." The joke was weak but Peggy laughed all the same. "They tried to trick me into thinking it was 1945." He snorted, shaking his head.

"How kind of them." Peggy tried hard not to smile. "What was their mistake?"

"They played a baseball game on the wireless that I had attended with my father." He managed a chuckle, shaking his head. "Of all the things to notice right away, it was that."

"You're an elite soldier. Small details are what you do best." She sighed. A smirk crossed her lip and Steve wondered what she was thinking. "I saw you on the television in the new suit during the invasion."

Steve looked up, smiling more. "Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow. "What'd you think?"

"I thought you looked quite handsome, but what on earth did they do it?" She shook her head, grimacing at the thought of the new design.

"They changed it. Decided it needed updating." He shook his head lightly, giving a small sigh. "I don't like it as much as the old one. It's not as practical."

"Definitely not." She nodded in agreement. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and reached for his hand. "Oh, Steve." She sighed, propping her chin in her hand as she stared at him.

"Yes?" He watched her, watch him, feeling a sense of contentment warm his chest.

"I searched for you for 11 years," She told him, reaching over to brush some hair off his face. He leant into her hand, his eyes closing at her touch. "At first I had doors shut in my face. Men didn't take me seriously, labelled me the hysterical widow of Captain America." She rolled her eyes.

"But we weren't –" Steve frowned, his eyes springing open again.

"It made no difference to them." She shook her head, dropping her hand to the counter top. He scooped it up, holding it in his. "I was a code breaker for the CIA and I managed to crack a case all on my own. Howard invited me to be the director of SHIELD with him after that." She smiled softly. "But we looked for you, searched every day. I think that's what drove him mad in the end." A sad look crossed her face and she looked at their intertwined hands.

"It was a shock to hear about Howard." Steve murmured. "The way Tony talks about him… he isn't the man I remembered."

"I try not to think about it because Howard Stark became a man I didn't know either. He married a lovely woman, had a son that adored him and yet…" She trailed off, shrugging sadly. "Tim's been good to me." She said after a few moments of silence.

Her words felt like a kick to Steve's stomach but he smiled anyway, happy that se had been happy. "Always made sure I didn't run myself into the ground and over time I grew to love him dearly." She smiled and Steve flinched. "I'm sorry, my love." She whispered, squeezing his hand before pulling hers away. "After 10 years, I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't search for you and put my life on hold. I married him and we had a family. This family."

Steve sat silent and steady and stared at the countertop.

Rationally he knew she made the right choice in moving on. Dugan was a kind, generous man who would have loved her with every ounce of his being. Yet still, jealousy swarmed within him and he wanted to scream and shout that it wasn't fair and he was here, why couldn't she have him now?

"Steve?"

"We could have now." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. "We could be together, and have now." He couldn't look her in the eye. He knew what he was saying was wrong but he was desperate to have her. A soft smile graced Peggy's features and she let out a laugh.

"I love my family dearly, Steve." She shook her head. She placed a hand under his chin and forced his head up to look at her. "I love my family and I couldn't do that to them. I couldn't do it to you." She laughed gently. "I'm an old woman. You deserve someone young, someone who can give you everything and keep up with you." She smiled, holding his gaze in her steely, deep brown one. She ran her thumb along his jaw. "You can have that now."

"I wanted it with you." He placed his big palm over her small hand and brought her palm to his lips.

"Well fate had other plans for us, darling. Fate needed you in the future for a reason, one we may never know." She tugged her hand out of his. "I am very happy you're sitting here in front of me."

Steve swallowed the lump of rejection and nodded. It didn't hurt as much as he thought it would. He was still breathing, he wasn't crying… he actually felt like a weight had lifted from his shoulders. He had closure on Peggy now, closure on everything he had wanted but couldn't have. It felt good to know where he stood in the grand scheme of her life.

"Your home is lovely." He said finally.

"I've spent many years building it around me. You will have the same, one day." She leaned forward and placed her hands on both his cheeks. "Promise me you will have the same one day."

He stared into her eyes for what felt like forever. She was right. She was always right. She couldn't halt her life for him and he couldn't halt it now for her. As long as she was in his life in some way, he would be content. He smiled as this thought passed over his mind.

"I promise."

She pressed her lips to his forehead. "Good. That's all I need." She let him go and stood, holding out her hand. "Come, I want you to meet my grandsons. You were the reason they joined the military. They are big fans of yours."

Steve stood, towering over the woman and smiled, his thoughts, feelings and emotions finally all feeling in alignment and in place.

She ushered him outside and Steve listened to her talk about her grandchildren. His head was still spinning at the thought of them being 'grandchildren' and not just 'children' but he was getting used to it.

The family were absolutely beautiful to watch as well. He'd never had a family of his own growing up but he'd always imagined that a big family would look like this one. Rory smiled encouragingly at him and he smiled back, feeling more at ease than when they'd first arrived.

Introductions were fairly simple. Tim was tall and broad with hair and eyes like Pegs but a temperament and sense of humour like Dugan's; and Grant was shorter and stockier, also with dark hair but amber eyes like Rory. He had a quiet way about him that Steve believed he would come to appreciate.

The kids were great, Tuck and Hannah were 7 and 6, and Cody was 5. They all loved being in the water and they all decided Steve needed to come in and play with them.

"I promise I will in just a minute, I need to get a drink." Steve nodded to the boys, who whooped with joy and dove into the water one after the other. "Does anyone want anything?" He asked the others around him.

He received drink orders and Rory stood up, shifting Biscuit off of her lap.

"I'll come and help." She smiled, walking toward the house beside him. "So how're you doing?" She asked when they were alone in the kitchen.

"You know, I think I'm ok." He nodded, reaching for the plastic wine glasses sitting on the counter. He took as many out a there were women, minus the pregnant Jo, and lined them up carefully.

"Yeah? Not too overwhelmed by it?" She turned to face him, bringing out a pack of beer and a bottle of wine. She lent her hip on the countertop and folded her arms, watching his every expression.

 _The only thing overwhelming is what you're wearing…_ He stopped the thought before it could get away from him and cleared his throat.

"Surprisingly no. I think I'm getting the hang of this blast from the past thing." He chuckled as she gave a snort. "Your family are great by the way." He smiled at her, keeping his eyes fixed on hers. "I'm glad I came."

"I knew you would be." She smiled, punching him lightly in the bicep. "And talking to Grandma, how'd that go?" She turned and started pouring the wine orders into the glasses.

"It was… good. Easier than I expected." He breathed out with a sigh. It really did feel like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he smiled easily. "I still love her and I always will, but I am really glad she was happy in the end. I think… it's time to move on"

He glanced out of the doors to see Peggy seated against Dugan, watching over her family. Even after all the time they'd been together, Dugan's arms were wrapped firmly around her waist and his lips found her ear every now, pressing small kisses no one else was meant to see against them.

He thought the scene would kill him, he thought it would be hard to see but he was pleasantly surprised that he was happy for them. They were happy and so very much in love.

"No one will blame you if you do. It's hard to get over your first love. We've all been there. She just wants to see you happy now." Rory smiled, replacing the bottle in the refrigerator and picking up the glasses. "I want to see you happy."

"I am happy." He assured her, turning away from his friends.

"I hope so."

"I'm happier than I have been in a long time, how about that?" He smiled at her again.

Rory nodded with a smile. "I can live with that."

"Thanks to you." Steve added, taking two precariously balanced glasses out of her hands.

"Well, I do try really hard." She nodded, letting out a dramatic sigh. He chuckled.

"Thank you." He said as he took her hands, forcing her to look up at him. "I really appreciate it. You're a sweetheart." He ducked down and pressed a small kiss against her cheek before letting her go and turning away to grab the drinks.

It took Aurora a few moments for her brain to catch up to what had just happened. The kiss had been unexpected, so innocent and sweet. She blinked at him in surprise.

"Are you coming?" He asked, opening the door so he could step back outside.

"Yeah, uh, I… What was that?" She asked, glancing around to make sure she'd picked everything up – like her brain.

"What?" Steve asked, watching her in amusement.

"That." She stood toe to toe with him in the doorway. "Over there?"

"What? The kiss?" He asked, his smirk deepening.

"You're not usually so…" She waved her hand as best she could without spilling the drink she was holding.

"Are you blushing?" He asked in a teasing tone.

"No." She scowled, feeling the burn on her cheeks.

"I think you are."

"Shut up, Steve."

"Awh c'mon doll, it was just a kiss." He laughed. "No need to go getting all love struck on me." He elbowed her as she moved past him, shutting the door with her foot.

"I am not!" She snarked back, "Don't make me start on you, all I have to do is stand in front of you and you blush red." She threatened him, grinning as he glanced at her. His throat bobbed with a gulp.

"You're barely covered, how am I not supposed to blush when a beautiful woman is standing there… barely… covered." He slowed a little, not wanting to re-join everyone just yet. He liked when it was just them. "Women from my time never dressed like that."

"Well I'm not from your time."

"No you're definitely not." He chuckled, catching her eye. She grinned at him, elbowing him back lightly.

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?" She asked as she peered up at him.

"Definitely a good thing." He assured her, his eyes flicking up and down her frame.

She laughed as she caught him, once again surprised at his forwardness. It was a fun and relaxed side of Steve she hadn't seen much of before. She liked it. It was almost as if seeing Peggy happy with someone else finally put the last nail in the coffin and it was allowing him to move on, allowing him to relax.

"Steve! Steve! Come in the pool!"

"YEAH STEVE COME PLAY!"

The kids bellowed at him as they walked beside the pool. Steve looked down.

"Let me put the drinks down, ok?" He told them. "2 minutes."

"Awh yeah!" Tucker grinned, pumping his fists in the air and consequently bobbing under. He came up sputtering but grinning and Rory laughed.

"Your turn, Super Soldier." Grant took the beer that was on offer to him as he reclined back on the sun lounge. "It's Dad's time off."

"Hope you can just keep going, man. Those kids don't stop." Tim agreed, grinning in thanks as Rory handed him a beer. She sat on the lounger beside him.

" _STEVE_!"

"Alright I'm coming!" Steve laughed, taking a mouthful of beer and then handing it to Rory. "Don't drink it."

"I have wine, I'm good." She smiled. He shook his head before he stripped his shirt from his chest. He dropped it over Rory's head and she let out a squeak of annoyance.

The other women let out sighs of _holy shit_ but Steve seemed to ignore them as he took two steps and dove into the cool water.

"Oh my _god_." Alison breathed, choking on her drink.

"I _told_ you." Maggie giggled, placing her wine glass at her feet untouched. "I just about died when stayed at my house and he walked into the kitchen without a shirt."

"Rory, how do you function?" Jo asked, bouncing Joshua on her knee. She grinned at Rory who just shrugged. Her eyes trailed over Steve's impressive form in the water. His muscles rippled and flexed as he broke the surface and launched Tucker and Hannah easily onto his shoulders.

The water ran down his smooth skin, adding the finishing touches to the perve worthy scene. Rory couldn't take her eyes off him.

He was just so… perfect. Cut and smooth and sinewy and just – she drew in a short breath. _Wow._ Not for the first time, she wondered what those abs would feel like under her nails and what he'd feel like above her; It wasn't that she'd never noticed before but if he didn't stop flirting back with her, she was going to have to find out.

"Uh hello… There's a fiancé and three husbands sitting right here." Jay snapped his fingers in front of Maggie's face and Rory snapped out of it. She turned to find Jo, Alison and her grandmother all staring at Steve either from behind sunglasses over from over the top of them.

Dugan, Tim and Grant were all rolling their eyes at them, laughing at their other halves.

"Eye candy." Alison shrugged, pushing her sunglasses back up her nose as she leaned back and enjoyed the sunshine.

* * *

Arthur, Sharon and Darcy arrived a little before lunch and added to the collective chaos of the house. Steve stuck close to Darcy, knowing exactly how she felt being thrown into the middle of the family and trying very hard to keep up. He had to say though, she was doing quite well holding her own among the Dugan siblings.

"So what do you do, dear? Arthur has mentioned you but I'm sure there's something he missed." Peggy asked Darcy as they sat along a long picnic bench that Dugan and Grant had erected beside the pool. It was just long enough to fit the 13 adults on without too much squishing. The kids sat on a picnic rug on the grass.

"My job doesn't have an official title yet but it's basically Avenger wrangling." Darcy responded, reaching for the potatoes. Peggy got there first and handed it to her.

"Wrangling?" The older woman raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean by 'Wrangling'?"

"Well, I'm the liaison between them and SHIELD so I keep tabs on them. Make sure they stay out of trouble, make sure the press is all good, make sure no one is hacking systems and finding out things they shouldn't… that sort of stuff." Darcy glanced at Rory, who smiled encouragingly. Rory elbowed Arthur in the side to support his girlfriend.

Arthur just looked at her in confusion, reaching for more chicken.

"I see…. So you're a PR Liaison." Peggy nodded slowly.

"Uh, not quite PR because we _try_ and keep them out of the spotlight where possible, but I guess so." Darcy looked like she wanted to argue but also looked like she was scared Peggy might shoot her if she did.

"That's… good." Peggy said offhandedly, shrugging lightly and Rory snorted. She'd seen this trick before. Peggy treated Arthur like a third grandson. Any time he bought a girl home, which had been a grand total of once, she drilled them with questions. The same thing had happened with Alison and Jo and while amusing to watch, Rory did feel sorry for her.

Peggy Carter was a formidable woman.

"She's brilliant, Grandma." Rory spoke up finally, elbowing Arthur in the side again. "She's also finishing her degree in Political Science at Columbia."

"Oh?" Peggy's eyebrows rose again. "And what did you plan to do with that?"

"Well I wanted to go into law originally, but I'm going to see how SHIELD wants to utilise me in other areas." Darcy responded, shooting a look of thanks toward Rory.

"Avenger's Wrangler isn't exactly easy, but she's great." Arthur kissed her cheek, finally getting the message, and Peggy smiled thinly.

"Oh but it's just –"

"Ease up on her, Peg." Steve said finally, having had enough of Peggy's obvious third degree. He liked Darcy. She was sweet and funny. The kind of dame who had gumption and wasn't afraid to use it. She actually reminded him a little of Peg, with just a tiny bit more crass. "She tased Thor the first time she met him."

Peggy finally looked impressed. "Tased him?"

"Yes ma'am. If a strange, tall, scary man comes at me, my first reaction is to bring them down." Darcy smiled with a shrug.

Peggy nodded slowly. "You can certainly hold your own then." She smiled warmly and Darcy visibly relaxed. "Don't let Arthur boss you around."

"Oh I wouldn't dream of it." Darcy smiled sweetly, turning to kiss Arthur's cheek softly.

"So Darcy," Jo asked. "Who's the hardest Avenger to wrangle?"

"Steve and Tony are tied in first place for that one. The stuff you see about them in the media is only like a quarter of what I pull off the interwebz almost daily." She shot him a playfully annoyed look and Steve faked surprise.

"I live a boring life, it's all made up I swear." He shrugged.

"Well your string of girlfriends isn't exactly easy to cover up." Darcy teased back and Steve laughed loudly. Rory could see the surprise in her grandmother's eyes.

"String of girlfriends is just what the tabloids are calling the very few photographs they've taken of him with various people." She explained, touching his shoulder lightly. "It's usually Sharon, Pepper, Darcy or Natasha."

"Or you." Arthur interjected. "They haven't been able to get a good photograph of you though."

"Thank god." She muttered.

"You're my main girl, remember?" Steve winked, elbowing her in the side and Rory snorted.

"Until you dropped me for Rachel Bilson."

"I begged you to take me back!"

The family watched on in both confusion and amusement as the two argued about who had taken who back.

By sundown Steve managed to steal himself away from the kids and take some time for himself. He perched on the edge of the pool and watched as Darcy and Rory tried to wrestle each other off the shoulders of Arthur and Sharon.

Somewhere in the background Biscuit barked as the kids ran circles around him with a tennis ball. It painted a suburban still life he'd only ever dreamed about. He liked it and he was sure that one day he'd stay true to his promise of finding this life for himself.

He let out a laugh as Darcy toppled into the water. Rory whooped in triumph, her arms raised high in victory and her long, smooth curves on show for the world to see. She really was beautiful, with her light tan and scattering of tattoos. God Bless whoever created the bikini.

If he had to make a guess, he would definitely pick Howard Stark. It seemed exactly like something he would create.

"The family loves you, Rogers." Dugan pulled him from his thoughts about the bikini as he clapped a hand to his shoulder. The elder man lowered himself down on the step beside Steve and handed him a beer.

"They're great. I really am happy for you, Tim." Steve nodded, clapping his own hand to Tim's shoulder in reply. Tim squeezed it before he let his hand drop. "I'm happy she had you." His eyes roamed over the garden until they landed on Peggy behind the kitchen window. She was deep in conversation with Grant about something, her hair pulled up out of her face.

"She almost killed herself looking for you." Dugan said softly, bringing his bottle of beer up to his lips. "I watched out for her best I could, Howard and I both did. Tried to make her slow down but she was hell bent on finding you. Relentless even." He laughed lightly, shaking his head. Steve smiled knowing that was just how Peg did things. "We even went under cover in France and Russia to see if they had you."

"We?" Steve glanced at his old friend.

"I couldn't let her go alone. Monty helped a lot in those years with his MI6 connections but I couldn't let her run herself into the ground."

Dugan gave a heavy sigh before taking another pull from his beer.

"She will always love you first, Rogers." Dugan replied. "But I did my best. She's been the love of my life but I will always be a poor substitute for you. I think she loves me though. She probably wouldn't have if she'd had any idea you were still out there and alive. Half the reason I think she settled for me is because after 7 years it became a body search not a rescue."

"Oh only 7 years, huh?" Steve managed around the lump in his throat.

"You know Peg, determined as all hell. But I made sure she ate and looked after herself. I think I figured I loved her about year 2,"

Steve let out a whistle.

"Long time between realising and you actually marrying her." He commented.

"She was crazy about you. I can't compete with Steve Rogers."

"You don't need to anymore, Tim. She loves you. I'm happy she has you." Steve smiled at him knowing in his heart that Dugan would never let the woman go without a fight, even if she had wanted to run away with him. "I'm glad. Really, thank you Tim. That can't have been easy for you and I only hope I find what you have with someone, one day."

"You'll find it." Tim assured him, looking away and clearing his throat.

"I want to." Steve replied, his own eyes turning back toward the pool where Rory was now standing on the edge of the pool peering down at her friends. He couldn't stop himself from tracing her body with his eyes and he sucked back a long drag of beer. "I actually want to."

The revelation felt good, like the next part of his life was becoming clearer. Although, finding a woman with the same life experiences was going to be a little bit tricky…

"It's called a bikini." Tim's voice was low and pulled Steve from his thoughts.

"Rory told me." Steve nodded, his cheeks flaring red. He looked at the water directly in front of him, embarrassed he'd been caught staring. "Howard's invention?" He asked, clearing his throat.

Dugan chuckled. "I asked him that very thing myself back in 46'. It was the French though. Beat him to the punch."

"Bet he hated that." Steve chuckled.

"Or loved it, knowing Howard."

"Thank god for the French." Steve glanced up again in time to see Rory dive into the water. "I think I've found my new favourite thing of the new world." He grinned, slipping easily back into his old ways around his friend. Dugan cleared his throat.

"That's my granddaughter, Rogers." Dugan reminded him with a stern look.

"Of course it is." Steve choked out, his gaze dropping away from her again. "Sorry Sir."

Dugan laughed heartily and clapped a hand against Steve's shoulder once more. He squeezed, harder than was necessary but Steve didn't flinch.

"Just remember how good I am with a rifle, Rogers. She's the baby and she's been hurt before. I don't have to tell you how off limits she is."

"I know. I wouldn't dream of trying anything with her. She's my rock when I'm in a hard place… I… well I honestly don't know what I'd do without her." He smiled, saying what he'd been thinking a lot about out loud.

"I'm glad. She takes after her grandmother in that respect."

"She takes after Peg in a lot of ways, Tim." Steve chuckled. Tim grinned.

"Oh trust me. Try living with them both. I have never seen two women fight the way Aurora and her grandmother do. They're too similar for their own good."

Steve looked back to Aurora, watching as she surfaced behind Arthur whose eyes were closed and smiled.

"She reminds me more of you than of Peg to be honest." Steve replied. "She's… a little bolder than Peg."

"Can't argue with that." Dugan let out a hearty laugh and clinked his bottleneck against Steve's.

* * *

"So they're lying in the mud; Candy on Steve's lap, Steve scrambling to get up _out_ of the mud and all us boys could do was laugh." Dugan slapped the table hard as Steve shook his head.

"I'd been trying to pass her along to Buck all night but she kept finding her way back to me." He sighed, shrugging lightly. "The worst part was, as we were getting up she _slipped_ and managed to catch the buckle on my belt."

"If Gabe hadn't got in there to help you up she probably would have had your pants off a second later."

The table erupted into laughter as Steve's face bloomed red.

"Oh she sounds wicked classy. I'm surprised you weren't completely taken by her." Rory teased, elbowing Steve's shoulder lightly. Steve just shrugged and pushed his plate away.

"She wasn't my kind of dame. The French were so forward in those days." He sighed.

"Tony is going to be so disappointed in you, mate." Arthur grinned, leaning back in his seat.

"You should tell Tony that girls at least _tried_ to get in your pants." Darcy added, finishing off her wine glass and reaching for some more. "He's under the impression you've never had experience like, ever."

"Oh please!" Peggy laughed, shaking her head fondly. "The amount of trouble that those commando's got up to, do you really believe that?" She rolled her eyes, causing the table to laugh again.

Rory sat happily, looking around at the family surrounding her, listening to the friendly banter and the teasing that was being tossed back and forth between her brothers and her friends.

She missed home so much when she was away and never truly realised it til she was back in the middle of it all. It was almost tempting to quit her job and move back to Boston.

A baby's wail made her turn to the kids' table in the kitchen.

"MOOOOM! JOSH IS FINISHEDDDD" Hannah's words were yelled through to the dining room, every syllable elongated.

"Inside voice Hannah!" Jo called back, shaking her head with a sigh. She braced herself against the table and tried to stand. "I wish this damn baby would come already." She grunted as she struggled.

"Stay there babe, I got him." Tim shook his head, patting his wife on the shoulder. Rory stood instead and waved her brother to sit back down.

"It's ok, Aunt Rory to the rescue." She smiled and wiped her hands on her napkin. "I'm finished anyway, you eat Tim."

She went into the kitchen, smiling at her niece and nephews.

"He made a mess." Hannah wrinkled her nose and pointed to the toddler seated in a walker next to the other kids. The tray was smeared with various foods and Rory couldn't help but snort when he looked up at her and grinned in delight. The food was also smeared over his cheeks and nose and even somehow his hair.

"Boys usually are messy, it doesn't change when they get older." Rory said, grabbing a cloth from the sink and crouched in front of Josh. "Hey buddy." She cooed. She wiped his tray down before stepping back to rinse the cloth. Then she wiped his face and nose. "You even have it in your hair!" She laughed, swinging him up onto her hip.

"Aunt Rory are we going to play flashlight tag later?" Cody asked, tugging on her skirt.

"Yeah buddy, probably." She nodded. His face brightened to a grin.

"Awesome! I dibs Steve on my team!"

"NO FAIR CODY!" Tucker exclaimed loudly. "You can't dibs the adults!"

"Well I just did SO THERE!" Cody stuck his tongue out at his brother.

"Yeah? I dibs Aunt Rory then!" Tucker stuck his tongue out in response. Cody gasped as if a great atrocity had been committed and Rory slipped back into the dining room, Josh on her hip blowing raspberries happily.

"All ok in there?" Alison asked, craning her neck to try and see her sons. "Heard the boys yelling."

"Oh yeah, all fine." Rory nodded. "Josh was a mess and Cody and Tuck are arguing over who gets me and Steve on their team during flashlight tag." She took her seat and arranged the baby on her lap. He looked up at her with big eyes and she pulled a face. The squeal of delight the baby made, made her giggle.

"What's flashlight tag?" Steve asked sounding confused.

"Something I'm grateful to not have to be in this year." Grant grimaced.

"Like hell you're not." Rory rolled her eyes. "We go down to the park at the end of the street with flashlights and instead of the person whose it tagging with their hands, they gotta flash them with the flashlight."

"Except it ends up that you're running around in the dark and trip over people… or trees" Tim snorted. "Remember when we thought you'd broken your nose, Grant?"

Grant responded with a withering look. "That's because you flashed me in the eyes and I stumbled around blind."

"Straight into a tree." Tim grinned triumphantly. Steve snorted.

"Sounds interesting. Whose team am I on?" He turned back to Rory, who had taken her seat beside him again.

"Cody dibbsed you. Tuck dibbsed me." She bounced Josh on her knee.

"Oh the competition is on then." He grinned, reaching over to tickle Josh's tummy. The baby squealed with a laugh and Steve did it again. Rory smiled, pleasantly surprised Steve was pretty good with children.

"Ahem… Jay and I have a bit of an announcement to make, while it's quiet." Maggie tapped her water glass as the table fell silent.

Rory's eyes widened as she looked up at her sister. Maggie's hand was draped across her stomach and she was clutching Jay's hand tightly. Her wine glass sat untouched on her left.

"Oh my _god_." Rory exclaimed, clapping a hand over her mouth. "You're _preg_ -"

"RORY!" Maggie yelled at her sister, her eyes narrowing in a very Peggy-type way.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to I just… look at you and…" Rory trailed off, "Sorry, make your announcement." She gestured for her sister to continue.

The rest of the table was silent as Maggie sighed.

"I'm due in February." Was all she said.

A moment of silence followed before Alison screamed and jumped from her seat to hug the middle child. The whole family was up in a moment, pulling Maggie in for long hugs.

"Here hold Josh for a minute, will you?" Rory turned to Steve and pushed the baby into his hands. Steve took him quickly, slightly bewildered, as Rory pushed out of her seat to go around the table and give her sister a hug.

He pulled Josh into his lap and settled him down, looking down into the baby's big blue eyes. He bounced his knee a little and Josh smiled, reaching up to grab Steve's collar. Steve pulled a couple of faces, making the baby laugh.

He'd always wanted children and had always been good with the ones he'd been around. Women used to hand their children over to Captain America to have photos taken and he got quite good at holding them – but he'd never known anyone with kids that he could get close to.

"annnnd just when I thought you couldn't get any more delicious, Cap." Darcy laughed lightly as she took the seat beside him. She hung back with him as the family gathered around each other as she was also on the outside of them.

"Oh stop." Steve chuckled, making Josh give an adorable baby laugh.

"Hot men with babies are just the best." She shrugged. "You're a total natural with him. Did you have kids before The Big Freeze?"

"Me? No, none." He shook his head, blowing a raspberry in Josh's direction. "Women used to hand me their kids all the time for photographs. I got used to it after a while."

"That's cute. Did you want them?"

"I did back then." He nodded. "I figured I'd settle down with a pretty dame when the war was over, get a dog, have a coupl'a kids. White picket fence style." He smiled lightly for a second before pulling another face. "Plate is a bit full right now though."

"You'll find someone." Darcy smiled softly at him before turning her eyes onto Arthur.

"It's a bit hard to find a girl with the same _common interests_ as mine." He shrugged, shaking his head. "And I'm not really big into the idea of dating within SHIELD."

"That's a shame." Darcy murmured. Steve looked at her with an eyebrow raised. "Not me, bone head. As hot as you are you're just hard to stand next to when you look like that and I'm all ripped-jeans-and-beanies," She waved a hand at herself and Steve rolled his eyes.

"You're gorgeous Darce and you know it."

"Well thank you Captain America, but I meant her." Darcy winked before nodding toward her left.

He followed her gaze and found it set on Rory. "Aurora?" He asked, clearing his throat.

"Well, yeah. You guys are great together."

"We're just friends." He shook his head. Darcy gave an eye roll and turned in her seat to look at him. "What? We are!"

He didn't look at her; instead he focused on trying to make Josh laugh again.

"You're very close for just friends, it wouldn't be hard at all to be more than that."

He could feel her intent gaze on his profile and he shook his head.

"She's too important."

"So?"

"So?" He looked at her finally, wishing she'd drop this line of thought. "What if it didn't work?"

"What if it did?" Darcy challenged, her dark eyes glittering.

Steve's lips pursed before he spoke again. "We're friends." He said firmly, hoping to cease the conversation at that.

"You're both blind, I swear." She muttered, rolling her eyes. Arthur called out to her then and she stood. "I'll be back."

Steve nodded and looked up at Rory across the dining room.

She was talking to Maggie, that brilliant smile on her face still and he couldn't take his eyes off her. He made a mental note to make her come and visit family more often because he had a feeling he wouldn't see that smile again once they got back to New York.

His breath caught when she glanced at him a moment later and their eyes met. She hugged Maggie once more before she walked back to him.

"Sorry I just kind of threw him at you before." She nodded to Joshua who was happily sucking on his thumbs. "You seem to be a natural though," She sat beside him and angled herself toward his lap.

"That's ok. He's very cute." He said, tickling Josh's feet again. The baby let out a giggle and Rory moved closer, her hand resting on Steve's knee.

"Yes he most definitely is. He's gonna be a killer with those blue eyes." She smiled, reaching out to stroke the chubby cheeks.

"Do you want kids?" Steve asked, turning his head slightly to look at her. She was closer than he anticipated and he could smell her sweet perfume from where he sat. It was like flowers and her skin was kissed red from the sun, a blush from one cheek to the other spread across her nose.

"I used to want them." She nodded lightly, a small smile on her face. It was dim, like a light bulb about to burst and Steve frowned lightly.

"What changed?"

"A broken wrist and shattered promises." She glanced at him, winking slightly. She must have noticed the clenching of his jaw because she squeezed his knee. "My priorities changed. I wanted to prove I could do my job and I have. Now I don't have time for another person let along a child… It's not something that's a priority anymore."

"Things changed." Steve nodded, reaching for her hand. He squeezed it gently.

"They do but these guys make me feel like I'm running out of time."

"You're not running out of time. You're 26. You're still young."

"Yeah I know, but I'm still single." She reminded him.

"By your own choice. You're beautiful Aurora. Smart and funny too. You could settle down with any guy you wanted." He chuckled, shaking his head. "There's no shortage of them, that's for sure."

A blush crept onto Rory's cheeks and she looked down at their hands.

"No but I've got so much going for me within SHIELD that it doesn't seem worth it right now." She looked up, reaching her other hand out to tickle Joshua again. "I guess I'll just settle on being the cool Aunt. The joys of kids without the commitment." She laughed as Joshua blew raspberries at her again. "Maybe one day I guess. If I ever met someone I wanted to be with... and let them in of course."

* * *

Steve didn't recognise the song the band was playing as he pushed through the crowded _Stork Club_. It was fast and upbeat, something he had never heard before. There were so many things that had changed while he'd been away. He had a lot to catch up on but first there he had a date was a dame whose name was on his lips every time he took a breath.

He couldn't see her at first, his eyes travelled from a couple to some single woman on the side to soldiers in uniform; and then she was there, like sun breaking through rainclouds, wearing that red dress he loved so damn much.

She was smoking a cigarette that was held delicately between two fingers, the other hand propping up her head. A man was trying in vain to catch her attention but she was having none of that as she looked around the room.

Steve approached, smoothing his hair while wearing his best smile. He cleared his throat and they both looked up. She fixed him with a smile that knocked his socks off and for a few seconds he couldn't breathe.

"Can I help you, old chap?" The man asked, glancing from him to Peggy and back again.

"I believe I owe this woman a dance." Steve replied, his eyes not leaving hers for a second. Her rouged lips twitched as she stubbed her cigarette.

"You're late." She mused, standing easily. Even in her heels she only stood at his shoulder. He knew she would fit perfect under his arm, against his body.

Steve offered his arm. "I had a flight to catch but I do apologise." He bowed his head. She nodded and took his arm, signalling the band to change the song. "Still going to teach me to dance?"

"I've waited years for this." She nodded, leading him to the floor. The music slowed down and she placed his hands on her hip and shoulder. "Let the music guide you Steve, it's not hard."

His heard thudded in his chest as she started swaying to the music. He followed her lead, unsure of himself. She was so damn beautiful it was hard to dance and look at her. He wondered if they could skip the dancing and leave now, he'd promised her a date and a date she would get.

"You're doing fine." Her voice was silky soft and he jumped. She laughed lightly, pulling herself closer.

"Oh? Good." He nodded, pulling her closer. "I really am sorry I'm late,"

"It's alright. You're here now." She soothed him, resting her head to his chest. He sighed, contented and closed his eyes letting the music wash over him. The song ended soon after, another upbeat number coming on and she took a step back. "Shall we leave?" That smile, the one that killed him almost every time, was back on her face and she took another step back.

"Leave? But I just got here?" He raised an eyebrow and glanced around as couples danced around them.

"Yes, but I've been here for a while and my apartment isn't far…" Her words dripped heavy with a hint and he nodded, wrapping an arm around her waist to lead her from the club.

Once they were outside, away from others, he captured her lips in a kiss he'd been dying for. It was warm and soft and she moved seamlessly against him. She let out a small moan in the process and it was the nicest noise he'd heard in his life.

He pulled away.

"Which way, doll?" He asked.

"This way." She nodded down the street.

In a matter of minutes they were pushing through her door, their lips fused once again. Their clothes were shed as soon as the door closed behind them and their bodies fumbled for space in the close quarters of her hallway.

He wrapped his hands around her waist, picking her up as he trekked into her bedroom, kicking the door closed behind him. She was beautiful and naked and pale, her dark hair spilling down over her shoulders the neat curls coming loose with their motions.

Making his way to the bed he sat, settling her over his lap. She kissed his neck and his jaw and nipped his ear before pushing him back so he hit the mattress behind him. She moved away from him for a moment and then she was back, her hands wrapped around his cock as she guided it into her.

There was a cry from both of them as she slid down, taking him to the hilt in one swift movement. They stopped moving for a second, their eyes locked as if they'd waited an eternity for this.

"I –"

"Shhh I know." She kissed him, rocking her hips against his. He responded by pushing up to meet her. They created their own rhythm, slowing down and speeding up to elicit the special noises they both loved so dearly.

Soon they came undone in each others arms, his seed spilling into her as her walls tightened and pulled around him. "I've waited far too long for this." She murmured as she slid to his side, curling up against his torso.

He reached a hand and smoothed her red hair, smiling contentedly to himself.

 _This_ he thought as he lay in her bed, stroking her back. _This is the life_. His eyes closed but there was something off about it all.

She was smaller than he imagined, with less curves and her hair was longer and it was… red. Had it been red in his mind? Peggy's hair wasn't red but it had been her… hadn't it?

He opened his eyes again, his brain trying to figure out who it had been… Red hair, apple cheeks, beautiful amber eyes and - then it hit him.

 _Aurora_.

Sweet _shit_. His mind had somehow (and for some bizarre reason) changed Peggy to Aurora. _Why_ had it done that? Why was he thinking about her like that? He couldn't think about her like that she was his best friend… she was Peggy's _family_.

It was wrong, it was…

A crash sounded from somewhere in the house, downstairs from the muffled sound of it and he sat up, his senses on high alert.

Steve swung his legs out of bed, taking long strides to the door. He cracked it open and listened closely. He could hear muffled swearing but no one else was going to investigate, everyone sleeping deeply.

Biscuit whined softly behind him and he shushed the dog as he stepped into the hall.

The clock on the wall read 3:14 as he made his way downstairs. The muttered curses were soft but they got louder as he neared the kitchen. Stealthily he crept through the shadows of the living room until he could see what was going on.

The small light above the stove silhouetted her figure and he recognised the woman straight away.

"Aurora?" He said softly, flicking on the bigger light. "You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry, sorry." She murmured, her back still to him. "I wanted a hot chocolate because I couldn't sleep and I dropped the mug because… I don't know I just…" She sucked in a breath, composing herself.

He rounded the counter and saw pieced of the shattered mug around her bare feet.

"Stay there, doll. Where does Peg keep the broom?" He asked, looking around.

"Laundry." She pointed to the small door to his left. Her voice sounded thick and she still hadn't looked at him. He frowned, something feeling off about all of this as well but he retrieved the broom and swept up what he could.

"Did any get you?"

"No, I don't think so." She shook her head. "Thanks." She sniffed, wiping her face with the back of her hand. He placed the broom to the side and stopped her as she passed him.

"Hey, stop. What's wrong." He asked, holding her in place. Had he said something in his sleep? The fear zapped up his spine and made him feel cold. "Is everything –"

"I'm ok." She assured him, looking up. Her hair fell away from her face and her eyes were red, the colour of her irises a vibrant amber, closing in on green. They were so goddamned beautiful that he had to pause for a second.

"Nightmare?" He asked. She nodded.

"The worst." She muttered. "It's the Third of July. I always get it on the third. Same one. Always the same one." She shuddered violently and he wrapped his arms around her, backing her toward the counter. He boosted her up before letting her go. He reached for another mug, grabbing the fixings for hot chocolate again.

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked, knowing exactly how she was feeling right at that moment.

She was quiet a long time while he made their drinks but she didn't run away. He turned his back to her while he stirred the milk on the stove.

"My parents died on the 3rd." Her voice was quiet but he heard her well. "Today. My parents died today and I saw something, I was there and every year I get this nightmare that just… terrifies me and I have no idea why."

"What happens?" He asked, flicking the stove off.

"I remember the car accident vividly. My mom was turned in her seat at time of impact, she was bent in a funny way toward me and then she was dragged out of the car…" He turned to find her with her head in her hands, slowly shaking it from side to side. He placed the mugs down, stepping between her knees to hold her close to his chest.  
"There was a man, he had blood _all_ over his face… He kept laughing, just this awful crazy laugh." He felt her shiver and he tightened his grip. "Then I'm sitting in this room, it looks like a hospital room and there's just blood _everywhere_ … On the walls, on the floor… like a sticky pool, hot and wet and gloopy… and I'm _sitting_ in it. I'm _covered_ in it and I'm screaming and shaking my mom but she's not waking up because I'm pretty sure I'm in _her_ blood and I just – I… I just… Oh _god_ I just –" Her breath came out in short, sharp gasps and Steve realised she was having a panic attack.

"Shhhh hey, Aurora c'mon breathe please… c'mon sweetheart…" He cut her off as her breathing started to boarder on hyperventilating. He rubbed her back gently as her shoulders shook. "It's just a nightmare. It's just… a dream. Nothing more."

"Why do I dream it? Why does it happen?" She sobbed into his shoulder. "Why does this keep happening over and over in my head like some twisted movie? I can't get rid of it Steve, I can't… make it stop."

"I don't know. It's the brain's way of coping with a bad situation. You were a kid. Kids have great imaginations. Maybe your brain created it when you were young and now you're stuck with it?" He suggested, not really knowing what else to say.

She didn't say anything more; she just tightened her grip on his shirt and buried her face in his neck a little more, seeking the comfort of his warmth.

Steve heard a noise from the living room and he glanced over, seeing Dugan standing in the shadows with a haunted look on his face.

He nodded to Steve, giving his old friend an appreciative look before he turned away from them, as if thanking Steve for helping his granddaughter through a rough moment.

* * *

"Arms up. That's it, keep them high." Rory let go of Tucker's closed fists as he stood in front of her in what he called 'fight stance'.

"But if I keep them high, you poke me in the belly!" He exclaimed, immediately lowering his hands as she feinted an attack on his torso. She ended up tapping his ear with her fingers and he squealed.

"You gotta be a step ahead of me, Tuck." Rory laughed. "Look, Hannah's got it." She nodded to where the little girl was practicing what she'd learned with Cody. Tucker rubbed his head and grumbled.

"Yeah she's only fighting _Cody_." He rolled his eyes. "I need to see it again." His brow furrowed in determination "On big people." He added. Rory smiled and looked around.

Her eyes landed on Steve who was sketching something in his sketchbook on a lounger close to them. Bis sat by his feet, the place he'd made his home while Steve was here. Rory had never seen that dog warm up to anyone the way he'd warmed up to Steve. She half thought about asking Steve if he wanted to keep him but what an imposition that would be.

They hadn't spoken about what had happened in the early hours of the morning. Her nightmare had been terrible but he'd comforted her through it, something she'd never really had before. She was used to dealing with it by herself but Steve had understood, he hadn't made her feel crazy for it and he'd listened.

She'd even managed to get back to sleep, laying beside him with their shoulders touching and their fingers loosely linked. The situation was a mirror of their time in D.C. and she couldn't be more grateful that he'd been there for her.

"Hey Steve, c'mere." She called out to him, beckoning him over with a wave of her hand when he glanced up at her.

"What's up?" He asked as he closed the pad and stood up.

"Tucker wants to see what I'm trying to teach him on big people." She explained, cracking her neck. "So… we gotta take it slow."

"No bloodshed?" He grinned as he rolled his massive shoulders.

"Right." She mirrored his grin, shaking her head lightly.

He steadied his posture, shifting his weight between his feet. "No sweat. Basic drills?" He asked.

She nodded and held her arms up. Steve's forearms touched hers lightly and she held his gaze.

"Keep your arms touching." She gave instruction to Tucker. "When he goes to punch me," Steve pushed his fist toward Rory's face. "I parry outward away from my body." She pushed his arm away with hers "and Steve counters with a punch of his own." Her other hand shot forward toward Steve's face. He blocked it like she had and struggled not to smile. "And then rinse and repeat." They continued for a few more punches, speeding up as they went.

Finally, to end their drill, Rory unexpectedly ducked to the left, grabbing Steve's arm to use it against him, spinning him around and locking it place behind his back.

"Hey!" He let out a surprised laugh and Tucker gave a yell of delight.

"You _gotta_ teach me that!" He clapped his hands.

Steve countered by reaching behind him with his free hand to palm the back of Rory's head and, in one fluid manoeuvre, tossed her over his shoulder.

She swore as her feet sailed over his frame and she let his arm go. He caught her before she landed on the concrete, tucking her against his body safe and tight.

"That's how you break an arm lock, Tuck." He grinned at the boy watching on in awe.

"Woah that was _sweet!_ You're even better than Aunt Rory!" Tucker sounded delighted and Rory pulled a face.

"Only by a little bit and I've had him on his ass before." She pouted, struggling against his bear grip, their bodies flush together, her back to his front.

"Can you get out of that hold?" Hannah asked, abandoning where she had been practicing with Cody and was watching with wide eyes.

"Probably not. Sometimes my height advantage comes in handy." Steve sounded too smug and Rory looked around. They had edged closer to the lip of the pool in their unexpected sparring. An idea formed in her mind.

With a grunt, she threw her weight down , her legs kicking out in front of her easily. The unexpected momentum loosened Steve's grip enough for her to ram her elbow into his solar plexus. He staggered back, letting her go and she skipped forward before turning on her heel and placing her foot up high against his chest. She had the grace and poise of a statue as she stood with her foot against him, her eyes gleaming craftily as she held him in place.

"You were saying?" She asked, tipping her head to the side with a grin.

Steve held his hands up, balancing precariously on the edge of the pool.

" _That_ while the height advantage comes in handy, your Aunt Rory is spectacularly great at what she does and to never forget it." He replied, grinning widely at her.

She smiled and nodded, tapping his chest with the ball of her foot just enough to send him over the edge. The kids laughed loudly when Steve cartwheeled back into the pool with a resounding splash.

"Now that was just mean, love." Arthur said from where he'd witnessed the whole thing from the BBQ.

"He underestimated his opponent." She smiled. "It's his fault."

"That's my girl." Dugan pointed a pair of tongs in her direction. "I have taught her well."

Rory stepped to the edge of the pool as Steve surfaced, sputtering. "That was mean." He said, looking up at her with wide eyes.

She smiled down at him, squatting down in front of him. "Golden opportunity too good to pass up." She grinned. Three splashes made her shy away as the kids dove into the water and she sighed. "Looks like teacher time is over."

"Kids have short attention spans. They're better off learning in small amounts." Steve replied, resting his arms and shoulders on the brick. "You coming in?" He asked, eyeing off the blue and white dots she was wearing today.

"I should go help Grandma with lunch… I _just_ got my hair dry as well." She patted his shoulder before she stood.

In a move she wasn't expecting he grabbed her forearm and pulled hard. It threw off her balance and she went head first into the crystal blue.

A laugh went up from the grill.

She surfaced, swearing and sputtering, wiping water from her eyes.

"You _asshate!_ " She gasped, giving him a murderous glare.

"Ass… hat?" He threw his head back in a laugh and pulled her toward him, his fingers tangling with hers under the water. "You shouldn't underestimate your opponent." He mimicked her and she swatted him.

"Fuck you." She rolled her eyes. "Ugh my hair. It was _just_ dry." She sighed. Steve mock pouted and pushed his back against the pool wall, placing a steadying hand on her hip and drawing her ever so slightly closer.

"It'll be fine." He assured her. "I didn't realise it curled like it did." He brought a hand up and played with a silky piece of hair, floating in the water between them.

"Oh yeah, it's got great waves to it." She nodded, treading water as best she could without kicking him.

"It's nice. Pretty."

Rory's breath caught in her throat and her mind went fuzzy. God, he was gorgeous, even more so with his hair sticking up in wet spikes and droplets of water caught in his eyelashes. The blue was all the more vibrant as the sun reflected off of the water surface.

They were silent a beat, both just staring at one another. Rory was acutely aware that he was holding her steady under the water, his fingers on her hips short-circuiting her brain again. She placed her hands on his, holding them both in place.

"Thanks, by the way." She said softly, casting her eyes on the water. "For last night…" She added.

"You've done the same for me more times than I really want to admit." Steve huffed a laugh. "I know what it's like."

His thumb squeezed her hip gently, rubbing against her skin. It was a small, comforting gesture she knew, but it made her heart triple in time.

"I know. I've… I've never had someone to listen to me before. Never had the comfort I guess." She shrugged. Steve chuckled.

"Neither had I for 70 years."

He wanted to pull her close, to wrap his arms around her and protect her from her own thoughts. Everyone had been quiet today, it was a tough day for the family obviously and everyone had stayed in their family units for the morning.

He'd kissed Peggy on the cheek when he'd gone down to the kitchen, giving her his condolences. She'd smiled and patted his hand but that was all that had been said. Nothing more needed saying.

"It… actually helped though, so thank you." She said softly, resting her hands on his forearms as he held her in place. She licked her lips, her eyes meeting his again.

God he wanted to kiss her like be for but with purpose this time, not just accidentally. He needed to, one of these days. He was sure she wouldn't say no, sure she would –

"KIDS! LUNCH IS UP!" Alison called from the window above their heads causing Rory to jerk out of his grip and him to pull his hands back in. He felt like a teenager who'd been caught and a blush coloured his cheeks.

She glanced back at him as she stepped out of the pool, smiling as though she noticed the way his eyes couldn't help but trail up and down her legs before he looked away into the depths of the water.

* * *

Author's Note:

This one is slightly longer again. I didn't mean for that to happen but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. This story is rated for a reason and there won't be warnings anymore. I've decided to do this purely because a real book doesn't come with warnings and it will definitely give away the plot.

If you like this, share it, comment on it and support it. It's the best thing as a writer to know my work is loved. Thanks again, more coming soon!

Playlist:

I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab for Cutie

Life in Colour - One Republic

Sweet Dreams - Marilyn Manson Cover


	18. She Said Shut Up and Dance

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 18: She Said "Shut Up and Dance With Me"

* * *

Steve found Dugan later that afternoon in his study. Pictures of his life spread out before him across the oak desk.

"Today is always a hard day." He murmured, pushing a glass of Scotch toward his friend.

"Aurora told me." Steve nodded, taking the drink and raising it in a silent toast. He drank deeply before putting it back on the desk. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for either of you."

Dugan looked at him over the brim of black-framed glasses. Sad amusement shone in his eyes.

"I somehow don't think he would have been my son if you'd been around." Dugan said, his tone light but his words heavy. "Although it was my fault so maybe I should rephrase that and say Peggy wouldn't have been my wife if you'd been around." Dugan snorted and shook his head.

Steve frowned, hearing the anguish in his friends' tone. "It was a car accident, Dugan. That wasn't your fault."

His friend's head shook as he took another long drink.

"Car accident was how we covered it up." He said softly, pushing some photographs of his son, Timothy Steven Dugan, out of the way until he came to an old manila file. "I fucked up a mission in 82' but I never dreamed it would hurt my family like this." He held the file out to Steve, who took it with both hands. "Rory has no clue about this and I would like to keep it that way."

"You have my word." Steve nodded as he opened the file. The details inside were for a Howling Commando's mission that was completed in 1982 while Dugan was at the helm.

"There was a man called Baron Heinrich Zemo, a brilliant German scientist who worked for Hydra throughout the 50s." Dugan cleared his throat as he started to explain. "He was trying to recreate the super soldier serum but without your blood to go on he had nothing. So he got creative, turning to the mutants of the time for help. Of course, "help" involved more than a few murders…"

Steve flipped to the next page of the file and studied the photographs. He frowned, his mind trying to process what he was seeing in plain black and white. Dugan poured him another drink and he took it absently.

"Are those –" His fingers traced over the images of bodies mutilated, cut in half or missing limbs entirely. There was one of a woman with wings who appeared to be having them removed forcibly.

Steve was horrified and sickened.

"People. Mutants. He was trying to harness mutant abilities to make them available for Hydra to use on their soldiers. He did some terrible, awful things to those poor souls. Half the time there was barely anything left of the bodies. He took everything and then dumped what he didn't want."

Steve quickly turned the photographs over, not wanting to look at the gruesome display any longer.

"It took us almost 2 years to track him down, countless people died. They came so close to developing their own serum too but it never stuck. It also killed people. When we finally caught him, like any true Hydra goon, he flipped his tooth and –"

"Cyanide."

"Cyanide." Dugan nodded. "He killed himself so we couldn't prosecute him for his crimes. He had a very lengthy list too so he probably would have had the chair anyway, no matter where he was. He took great delight in killing." Dugan sneered. He shook his head and pulled out another file. This one was battered and dogeared like it had been read the most. He didn't hand it over straight away, just sat, staring at it like it was going to bite him.

"The killings started up again in 1988 but this time there were no specific targets, just people in general. Women, children, anyone. They were identical to the Zemo's original killings so I was put on the case and I found out that Heinrich had a son who was very angry that his father had died. He swore that I'd killed him, didn't believe that his father had killed himself."

Dugan slipped the case file toward Steve, who picked it up but didn't open it. Another two fingers of bourbon went down without a struggle.

"He took it so personally that he went out of his way to harass my family. He stalked my son and daughter-in-law, Sarah, mercilessly. He also, somehow, found out that Timothy had also received the serum genetically and it piqued his interest."

"Is that why it's not in any of Aurora's official documents?" Steve asked. Dugan looked surprised, but nodded.

"It's easier for her, and safer." He explained and Steve agreed. "On the 30th of July, 1982, that monster kidnapped Grant, Anna and Aurora while they were on their way to the SHIELD facility in Danvers, Massachusetts, to monitor Rory's levels of the serum. He took them to an abandoned hospital that's located in the hills out there and he tortured them."

"So there was a car accident?"

"A small one, just to get them out and to where he wanted them to be. Their dying in the accident is just the cover to save those kids from knowing the horrible truth." Dugan shook his head gravely.

Steve could see the guilt eating him away like it was a visible entity living inside the man. He couldn't bring himself to open the file.

"I lost my mind, Steve." His voice was horse and low but Steve caught every word. "He told me where I could find him and I went, not even thinking to call for backup. I made mistakes that cost me my family and when I got there I watched him kill my son right there in front of me. That bastard overpowered me because I hadn't stopped to think what might happen." A choked sob left Dugan's throat and Steve's own closed over.

Finally he opened the file. Inside were pictures of Timothy Dugan Jnr and Sarah Dugan. Steve could see now that Rory really took after the stunning redhead in the photographs and that the slight dip in the bridge of her nose and her apple cheeks were from that side of the family. And those eyes. The amber shade was identical to Aurora's.

Tim Jr. however was the spitting image of Peggy, more masculine of course, but with the same dark eyes and square jaw. He was quite a handsome man, Steve could admit, and there was a twinkle in his blue eyes that definitely came from Dugan.

"He got away because he'd kept Aurora as a bargaining chip. Told me that I could either find and save her or capture him and never know what happened to her." Dugan studied his hands. "I had to choose her. She was more important than he would ever be… So he got away, dropped off the face off the earth and I never could track him down again. I found Rory right were he said she'd be; in a pool of her mother's blood, curled up next to her lifeless body. He'd found it amusing to hear my little girl shriek and cry for her mother to wake up so he locked her in the room with her."

Steve stiffened. "So her nightmare –"

"It's real. She lived it. She wasn't supposed to remember it but she did. She has."

"and you've been lying her about it, making her think she'd going crazy?" Steve asked, his eyebrows rising into his hairline.

"I had no choice. We couldn't tell them, Steve. It was my fault. They would never have forgiven me and I… I couldn't live with that. I wouldn't live with that."

Steve flipped a couple of pages, studiously avoiding the crime scene photographs of the Dugan bodies, and found a very grainy, very blurred picture of a man in his mid twenties. The only distinguishable feature was a scare down the left side of his face, pulling the eyebrow down and the lips up in a sneer.

"This is the guy?" Steve asked, picking up the photograph.

"Only thing we could ever find of him." Dugan nodded.

"How'd he get the scar?"

"No clue. He had it when I found him." Dugan shrugged listlessly.

"If I found him, what would want me to you do?" Steve asked, watching his friend closely. Dugan met his eye and stared at him for a good, long minute.

"Make the damn bastard pay. For me and for Peg."

 _And for Aurora_ Steve added to himself.

Steve nodded slowly.

"I'll do it." He promised, reaching across the desk to take Dugan's hand. They shook, an unspoken bond being created between them.

A knock sounded at the door before the handle depressed and it opened. Steve closed the files quickly and slid them back to Dugan as he turned.

"Oh… Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt." Rory stuck her head in before she turned to walk out again.

"No sweetheart, we're done." Dugan called out to her, the key clicking the lock shut in the bottom drawer of his desk. "What's up?"

"I was just wondering where both of you had gone." She replied, pushing the door wide. She was dressed now in a white wrap around dress looking every bit like she stepped out of his time, so casual and beautiful. Steve smiled at her. If her had had been curled it would have been a blast from the past; but it wasn't, instead straightened to sit just below her shoulders, her bangs a blunt line over her eyes.

"Just… catching up with Steve here." Dugan smiled lightly, tipping his glass toward Steve. He glanced at the clock. "You must be almost ready to head out?"

"Almost." She nodded.

"Out?" Steve asked, wrinkling his eyebrows. "No flash tag tonight?"

Rory laughed and shook her head. "Not for us. We're going to Hurricane O'Reilly's."

"What's that?"

"You'll see." She replied cryptically, flashing him a wide smile, before turning away. Steve glanced at Dugan.

"Tradition Steve." Was all he said, shrugging lightly in amusement.

* * *

"Welcome to O'Reilly's." Rory grinned as they walked into the over crowded bar in the middle of West Boston. She linked her arm through his and tugged him into the crowd. Arthur, Darcy, Sharon and the Dugan Brother's followed her all the way to the back where there was a booth available.

"Who's buying first round?" Grant asked, clapping his hands together eagerly.

"You." Tim shot back quickly, his eyes scanning the bar. "I'm going to see a man about some money owed to me." He nodded toward the pool tables before taking off toward them.

"I'll meet you over there." Grant agreed with a grin, heading in the opposite direction for the bar.

Steve took a seat and looked around.

It was busy and hot but Steve kind of liked it. It actually wasn't too different to how bars used to look, except the clothes were skimpier and the music was synthetic, coming over speakers instead out of a band. The smells and the drinks were the same however and he did kind of like it.

"Is this your first time in a modern bar, Steve?" Darcy asked as she settled herself across the table.

"Yes ma'am." He nodded. "It's not much different to how I remember it..." He chuckled, glancing around at the way people interacted. There were three girls in incredibly skimpy clothing eyeing him off from across the way. One of them pushed her chest forward and winked at him. "But then again, maybe it is a little." There was a floor set up with a crowd of people dancing together in front of where Steve assumed the music was coming from. "No live bands now?"

"Sometimes there is." Arthur replied. "Mostly of the time though, there's a DJ."

"Disk Jockey." Rory said from beside him, noticing his confused look. "They mix music together to create new songs on the fly. They usually have some pretty good ones here too." She grinned at him. "You gonna come and dance later?"

Steve looked over her head at the floor behind her. He had no idea what those people were doing but he didn't think it could really be called 'dancing'. It was more of a seizure-cross-hip-thrust that he wasn't entirely sure he could replicate.

"I uh… don't think so." He shook his head and cleared his throat.

"Awh c'mon, it's easy." She grinned. "I'll teach you."

He looked down at her wide smile and sparkling amber eyes and let out a sigh. "You can try but I have two left feet, Doll." He leant back as Grant pushed a bottle of Sam Adams beer into his and Rory's hands.

She grinned and tipped her beer back. "Challenge accepted." She laughed.

It didn't take long for Darcy, Sharon and Rory to decide they wanted to get in on the dancing. A song started blaring over the speakers, one that he vaguely recognised as something Darcy sang in the halls while she was running between the labs and she proclaimed it was "Her Jam", and pulled both women to their feet, dragging them away.

"I'm glad they get along." Arthur said as he watched them go. "Rory and Darce, I mean."

"Why wouldn't they?" Steve asked, keeping an eye on the girls as they threaded their way through the crowd. The three of them of them turned heads and he felt a surge of protectiveness come over him when a tall, blonde man edged toward Aurora.

"Rory has a history of not liking any girlfriend I have." Arthur replied, tipping his drink back. "Not that I've had many… but they usually don't get along."

"Why's that?" Steve asked, his eyes not leaving Rory for a second. Jealousy spiked through the protectiveness when the blonde encroached with his friend and appeared to ask Rory to dance. The nod and the smile on her face had him grinding his teeth.

"Rory and I are close. She either feels threatened by them or they by her… I mean look at her. I know you know she's a knock out."

Steve's head whipped around when he heard the sigh puff from Arthur's lips. "You and Rory were –?" The question hung in the air and Arthur was quick to shake his head.

"No. God no. Never, sadly. We've messed around a couple of times, you know how it is with the whole no strings attached thing, but never any further." He shook his head, pausing. "Although, you might not, being Captain Saint Steven and all." Arthur laughed as Steve pulled a face. "But Rory and I, we've known each other for too long. She is a very easy girl to fall in love with." Arthur pinned him with a hard look. "She just doesn't reciprocate very well."

"Good thing I'm not looking to fall in love with her then, isn't it?" Steve gave the man a thin smile. He understood no strings attached perfectly well despite what others may have thought. He didn't correct Arthur however, just left that story for another time.

Arthur let out a laugh. "No one is ever looking to fall in love, Rogers. That is some straight up romance movie bullshit right there."

Steve shook his head and turned to look back out on the dance floor. Rory was wrapped around the guy, her arm around his neck and their foreheads close. He tried his best to keep a neutral face, after all it wasn't his place to go over and tear them apart (as much as he wanted to). Sharon was dancing with Darcy a little further away so he knew the Agent would be keeping an eye on her. He still didn't like it.

"Excuse me." A distinctly feminine voice pulled him from his jealous thoughts. He turned in his seat to look at the woman in question, who stood beside the table. "Hey there. Hi." The girl, a petite blonde with lip and eyebrow piercings smiled widely at him. "Are you him?"

"Him who?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

" _Captain_ America?"

"That he is." Arthur jumped in, rapping his knuckles on the table. He had a wide grin on his face "You've been sprung, Rogers." He chuckled as Steve shot him a pained look.

Steve sighed and then plastered a smile on his face.

"Yeah that's me. What can I do for you?" He asked the girl.

Her eyes widened considerably. "Oh holy shit. _Wow_. Just… What the hell are you doing in Boston, of _all_ places?" She babbled as she dug her fingers into her cleavage. Steve couldn't help but follow her movements and he watched her produce a phone from between her breasts. "Mind if I…" She wiggled the phone. "Picture." She added at his blank look.

"Oh!" Steve said. "Sure, I guess." He nodded. The girl grinned and sat squarely on his lap. He let out a soft groan as she ground into his crotch. Arthur snorted into his beer, clearly loving his discomfort.

"Shit, no one is going to believe this ever." She said in a slightly breathy voice. She smelled like stale mint and beer but there was sweetness underneath it. Nice perfume, Steve thought.

Arthur let out a laugh and held out his hand.

"I'll take it if you want." He offered.

"Thanks!" She grinned at him, passing the phone across the table.

Steve wasn't entirely sure where to put his hands so he kept them by his sides as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Say cheese, Captain America." Arthur laughed, clearly enjoying himself. He snapped two or three photos before handing the phone back. "There you go… Sorry I didn't catch your name."

"Misty. I'm Misty." She didn't move from Steve's lap. "But you can call me _whatever_ you want." She gave a small wink and her chest pushed further out than was necessary. Steve cleared his throat.

"Uh… Misty is fine." Steve smiled lightly. "You can –"

"Who's your friend, Steve?" An amused voice said from behind him and he looked up in relief.

"Aurora." He smiled. "All finished dancing?"

Darcy was no better at holding her amusement in than Arthur was.

"Yo, Vampirella? Wanna get off the Super Soldier now?" Darcy hitched her thumb over her shoulder in a _beat it_ gesture. "I'm pretty sure you can get arrested for trespassing on government property, right Sharon?"

"Technically, sure." The blonde shrugged, reaching for her beer.

Misty's eyebrows knitted together. "What are you, his girlfriend?"

"Nope, this one belongs to me," She sat on the bench beside Arthur and kissed his cheek, "but _she_ is damn well close enough," Darcy pointed to Rory, "and she can kick your ass ten ways to Spain if you don't move in 3...2..."

" _Darcy_." Rory warned, shaking her head.

Darcy gave Misty a sickeningly sweet smile before she nodded toward Rory.

"Hey." Rory said when the girl looked over at her. "Not his girlfriend." She corrected but said nothing else. Her face was impossible to read and Steve kept his eyes on her. "Shouldn't you be going and bragging to your friends right about now?" She nodded to the other two girls standing by the bar watching with keen eyes.

The girl was up and on her feet after a moment. She pressed a kiss to Steve's cheek. "Nice to meet you, Cap." She waved her fingers a little before teetering off on some serious heels.

Arthur let out a loud laugh when she was out of sight. He pulled Darcy close, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Awh c'mon Darce, she was hilarious."

"She was sexually harassing him." Darcy rolled her eyes. "You're _totally welcome_ by the way." She cut her eyes to Steve.

"Yeah, thanks. I… didn't count on being recognised here." He sighed, shaking his head. He glanced at Aurora, who was still standing beside him, studying his face with an unreadable expression. "What?"

"Nothing." She shook her head. She reached over and rubbed her thumb against his cheek. "She left her mark." She wrinkled her nose, letting her hand drop away. "I'm going to go get another round, same again?"

There was a chorus of yes and she disappeared into the crowd.

She wasn't sure what had come over her. She'd been having a great time dancing with the blonde guy and yet when Darcy had pointed out the girl clinging to Steve she'd felt something not entirely pleasant snake through her gut.

She stood at the bar and waited for some service as the feeling subsided. She glanced over at Steve and found him laughing at something Sharon was saying. She loved it when he laughed. He looked so young and relaxed and she really hoped he was having a good time tonight.

Her one goal for the evening was to get him out on the dancefloor. Make him loosen up a bit. She did have a selfish gain from her goal, but being pressed up against Captain America was a small bonus if she got to see him relax.

Rory only turned back to the bartender and have her order of 4 tequila shots and four beers. It was a shame Steve couldn't get drunk because this would help a lot.

A couple of drinks later however, Rory had a stone cold sober Steve up on his feet and on the dance floor anyway, trying to get him to dance.

"I'm terrible at this." He laughed as she danced in front of him to the beat of the song.

"You're holding back!" She laughed right back at him, a little closer to drunk than tipsy. "Don't look back and just… dance, Steve. Dance with me."

He couldn't help but take his phone out and snap the picture of her, vibrantly alive under the neon lights. She reached for him then, pulling herself close to his side as she plucked the phone from his fingers. She held it in front of them and snapped a picture of them both. Then she pressed her lips to his cheek and snapped another.

"There's not a lot to dancing these days, Steve." She said in his ear, pushing his phone back into his hands. "You just kinda… feel what goes." She smiled and nodded to Darcy and Sharon dancing beside them. "So shut up and just dance, ok?"

They were impossibly close, Darcy with her knee almost between Sharon's legs and her head thrown back as the beat of the music moved her body. Sharon's hands were on Darcy's waist and there was a man pressed against her back. Steve swallowed, enjoying the sight far more than he should have.

Rory turned her back on Steve, reaching behind her to grab his arms and pull his body flush against her own. She placed his hands on her thighs and moved against him.

The heavy bass thankfully drowned out his groan and he moved with her, holding her close. His fingers threaded with hers, fisting and scrunching the fabric of her dress against her skin, pulling it ever higher. Her head rested against his shoulder and his face was buried in her sweet smelling curls.

She turned to face him after a beat, grinning widely. She threw her arms around his neck and he let his hands roam over her hips and waist, feeling every curve and contour of her body. Her breasts pressed into his chest and he dropped his lips to her shoulder. His hands ran down her back, flexing over the curve of her ass, before he cupped it hard and drew her closer.

Aurora let out a breathy moan, her fingers digging into the skin on his neck.

He was losing himself all too easily and she felt too good pressed up against him to want to let her go. She looked up at him, her fingers threaded into the hair at the base of his skull and, oh god, she was gorgeous. So gorgeous he had this crazy idea that he wanted to kiss her. She seemed to be lost in a thought that he hoped was the same.

He dipped his head before he hesitated and pulled away. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips and he loosed a breath before he went for it again. He pressed his mouth to hers in a soft and hesitant kiss. He felt her respond instantly, her fingers pressing into his neck to pull him closer.

The moment went on and on and he never wanted it to stop, but the song wove into another all too quickly and the beat changed enough for them to lose momentum.

Someone shoved into his back, jerking them out of the embrace. He felt deprived of oxygen but he didn't mind because if he was gonna go, kissing a beautiful woman would be the way to do it.

"Woah…" She blinked at him, pulling her hands away from him. She touched her lip. "That was…"

"I'm sorry." Steve blurted out, his cheeks heating up bashfully. "I didn't mean to – I mean I wanted to but I didn't… I…"

Rory laughed, a grin breaking out on her face.

"C'mon idiot, let's go cool off." She shook her head, wrapping her arm around his waist.

She was a little drunk and a lot happy and The Kiss had been freakin' amazing. She was surprised by Steve's forwardness, everything about that moment had been different and she'd loved every second – from how handsy he'd been, to his butt-grabbing capabilities and then there was the kiss. It had been so different to the last time they'd kissed, mostly because that was accidental and innocent and this had been a lust filled frenzy. She knew which one she preferred.

She was impressed with only the slightest hesitation from him. It was definitely the kind of kiss that would go down in history as the kiss to ruin all other kisses.

She motioned to Sharon and Darcy, who hadn't seemed to notice their lip locking, to where they were headed and then she tugged him to the edge of the floor.

"I think Arthur's with my brothers by the pool tables so we can go play some pool for a bit." She said, loud enough for him to hear. He nodded and followed her lead toward the back of the bar, trying to mentally rearrange his circulatory system so blood would come back to his head. It wasn't working as well as he'd hoped and he was glad no one could see his crotch because he was sporting some serious wood and that was the last thing he needed to have splashed over the tabloids and internet. He'd seen the blogs about Thor and Thor's 'Hammer' and he wasn't keen on having his own.

Someone knocked against her and she gripped Steve tightly as she lost her balance on her ridiculous heels.

"Hey, sorry!" She called over her shoulder, looking up at the person.

She froze on the spot, her blood turning to ice. His face, his eyes, his lips were all the same as she remembered and her throat went dry at those memories. Steve walked into her back but she didn't move.

Jason wasn't supposed to be here. He left town a long time ago and he hadn't been back since. Why was he back now, of all the times for him to return, why now?

"Hey, Rory. Long time no see, babe." He recognised her immediately and her grip tightened on Steve as fear flooded through her. "How you doin'?" The man looked her up and down, despite her clinging to Steve, and grinned lecherously. Steve's senses arced immediately, sensing that something wasn't quite right between Aurora and this man.

"Fine." Came her terse reply and Steve looked from him down to her. "We were just –" She made a motion to move but the guy stepped into her path.

"Oh new boyfriend, huh?" The man looked Steve up and down and his grin widened. "Holy fucking hell, Roar. You nabbed Captain America. How did _you_ manage _that_?" She felt sick at his insinuation, remembering how often he'd told her she wasn't good enough for anyone else.

 _Steve's obviously a Superhero. Why on earth would he be interested in you?_ The poison words snaked into her mind and she grit her teeth against them.

"None of your fucking business." She snarled, glad Steve was still holding onto her. The room felt entirely too small and her legs felt boneless. She wanted to blame the tequila but she knew it was her fear of him. "S'cuse us, we were just leaving." She tugged on Steve's waist, her nails digging into the skin under his shirt and he squeezed her back.

"Awh that's a shame. Thought we might be able to catch up. I'm Jason, just by the way." He held his hand out for Steve, who ignored it. "You probably haven't heard about me, we didn't exactly split on nice –"

" _You're_ Jason?" Steve's eyes widened and he glanced at Aurora, the pieces falling into place.

She was gripping him like she was on a sinking ship and the look on her face was something he'd never seen there before. This was her abuser. This was the man who'd made her think she wasn't good enough for anyone or anything. This was the one who had hurt her.

Steve's blood boiled and before he could stop himself, his fist snapped forward and found its mark on Jason's nose.

People around them screamed as Jason went sprawling backward, blood spurting from his nose like someone had turned on a tap. Steve glared down at him, advancing as Rory tried to push him back.

He wanted to hurt this man, teach him a lesson for every daring to hurt his best girl. Possessive protectiveness snaked through his gut and he towered over Jason.

"It's not _worth_ it!" She exclaimed, grabbing Steve's collar. People gathered in a crowd. Someone helped Jason to his feet. Phones were pulled out to start filming. " _Steve!_ No!" She said again and he stopped. He glanced at her and stopped advancing before he looked back.

He pointed a finger at the scumbag, cowering behind security.

"You hurt anyone the way you hurt her _ever_ again and I will personally deal with you, understood?" He growled, causing the crowd to take a couple of steps backward.

Jason nodded, his hand filled with blood as it cupped his nose as he pushed through the crowd, disappearing through the throng of people.

A couple of the security guys hung back, not game enough to go toe to toe with Captain America and Rory grabbed his hand.

"C'mon we have to leave." She murmured, nodding politely to security as she dragged them past. One brave soul stepped into their path.

"Don't go out the front." He murmured to Steve. "There are a couple of Paps waiting for you. I suggest you and your lady head out the back."

Steve nodded, muttering an apology to the guard as he led them through the kitchens.

Rory breathed in and out a couple of times once they'd made it to the empty side street, still trying to figure out what had just happened inside.

"That the _hell_ was that, Steve?" She asked, rounding on him as her hands shook. Five years and still totally afraid of him. she was pathetic. "You _punched_ him!"

"I couldn't help it. Automatic reaction." Steve shrugged, seeming unfazed by what had happened. She grit her teeth.

"In a public place? Do you know how many cameras were on you just then!?" She fumed, glaring up at him. "You're a public figure, you can't just go around punching people!"

"He's a jerk, Doll. He deserved it for what he did to you."

His calmness about it all made her scowl.

"I'm not worth you getting bad press!" She exclaimed, shaking her head. "I'm not worth the problems it will cause if people post videos of you punching someone online!"

"I call bullshit on that one, sweetheart." He shrugged again, sticking his hands in his pockets. "You're worth a lot more than you think. _Especially_ to me. Any fella you date has to come through me first." He scowled at that sentiment.

The statement floored Rory and, for a moment, she couldn't speak. It had been pretty great to see Jason be punched out and it felt even better to have a Superhero be so protective of her.

She wrapped her arms around him, shaking her head as she placed it on his chest.

"You're an idiot." She muttered, her panic receding as his arms came around her body and held her close. If videos turned up, Darcy would get rid of them. The punch had come out of nowhere so the chances someone did get something were low and pictures could be difficult to make out in the dim light of the bar.

It probably wasn't as big of a deal as what was in her mind but she couldn't help panic anyway. 5 and a half years away from Jason and she still panicked about how he would react. He still scared the living hell out of her. It was actually pathetic.

"Hey, c'mon doll. I'm sorry I punched him but I had to. No man should get away with hurting you like that." Steve said, feeling her still tensed under his arms. She pulled back and he looked down at her, knowing she was lost in her own thoughts.

Rory's lips twitched as the mental image of Jason flying across the bar ran through her mind again.

"I've wanted to punch him like that for so damn long." She mused, trying not to laugh.

Steve cracked a grin and squeezed her a little tighter.

"C'mon, we'll go find him again." He pulled on her, as if to walk away and she pulled back, laughing loudly.

"No! Steve no, it's ok. I don't… poor guy got punched out by Captain America I don't think he needs to add 'woman' to that list too." She pulled back on his hand and he joined her again. "Let's just… I'll text the others and we'll head home. I think we've had enough excitement for the night."

Thoughts of kissing her flickered through his mind again but she was already looking down at her phone, texting the others to tell them where they were headed.

They started off for the car, Rory's face glowing from the cellphone light and she was quiet for a few minutes.

"Wait, wait… stop." She said suddenly, coming to a stop so quickly Steve had to backtrack a couple of paces.

"What? What's wrong?"

She bent down, holding onto Steve's arm for stability and slipped her shoes off. "Ohh that's better." She sighed as the cool concrete met the balls of her feet. "I honestly don't know why I bother with these silly things." She shook her head.

"Neither do I." Steve agreed, eyeing off the 4-inch stiletto.

"Because they look so good and make my ass look amazing." Rory answered her own question with a grin. Steve laughed.

"I'll agree with that." He nodded. Rory gasped again.

"Was that more flirting from you, Mr Rogers?" She placed her hand to her chest and looked at him in playful shock. "First a kiss and now you're flirting? What has the world come to?"

He shrugged a shoulder. "I can flirt."

"For someone with such a good boy, innocent as they come routine, you sure do it a lot." She winked and he grinned. She laughed as he held the car door open for her. "Such a gentleman."

"It's how I was raised ma'am." He gave her his best charming smile and shut the door. He jogged around the car, got in and started the engine.

"Don't think I didn't feel your hands all over my ass, Captain, and that _kiss_. Was that your first kiss since 1945?" She said as they started to drive.

"That bad, huh?" He groused as she slid in.

"It wasn't bad." She assured him with a shake of her head. "Could use a little practice though." She glanced sideways at him and saw the delighted smirk that appeared on his lips.

"Yeah? Guess I'll have to advertise for the right partner, huh?" His eyes left the road for a second and she laughed.

"I guess you will." She nodded. "Ooh hey, take a left here." She said suddenly and Steve did as ordered.

"Do we get home this way?" The street looked unfamiliar to him and he frowned.

"Nope. I just don't want to go home yet." She gave him a small smile and settled back into the seat.

"So what is this way?" Steve asked as he drove, watching as Boston slid past him.

"Carson Beach." She replied, her eyes trained out the window.

"But it's one in the morning." He reminded her with a laugh.

"Perfect time to go." She insisted. "C'mon, it'll be fun. I'm too wired to go home and sleep." She nudged his arm.

"Dancing all night wasn't fun?" His eyebrows rose.

"It was extremely fun but… " She paused for a second before sighing. "If I go home I'll sleep and if I sleep I'll dream and I don't… really want that nightmare again. I'd rather be exhausted and just pass out." Her voice was small and Steve reached across and took her hand, linking their fingers together.

"Beach it is, then." He agreed and she grinned.

She said nothing more except for the occasional direction and the instruction to stop.

They got out of the car and into the warm summer night. He smelled the tang of the salt water on the breeze and heard the light crash of the waves somewhere in the dark.

"C'mon I'll race you." Rory laughed, shoving him lightly before taking off at a dead sprint toward the water. Steve gave a yell and followed after her, catching up easily. He caught her around the waist and spun her around, making her scream out in shock.

"No fair! You stupid super soldier!" She laughed, steading herself with his shoulders as her feet found the sand again.

He shrugged. "You cheated."

"Only because you're a super soldier." She shrugged with a wink. She took a deep breath, turning to face the water. "I love the ocean. It makes me happy."

"I used to." Steve said bitterly. He hadn't been this close to open water since his accident and he felt a little bit on edge.

"What? Why – Oh!" She clapped a hand to her head. "Your accident."

"Yeah." He nodded. "I'm ok though. It's not that bad."

"Have you been in since?" She asked him. He shook his head firmly.

"No. This is as close as I've been to an ocean."

Rory looked from him to the ocean and back again.

"Let's go in."

His eyes snapped to her and he found her tugging on the tie that held her dress together.

" _Aurora_!" He groaned, averting his gaze. "No!"

"C'mon Steve. No time like the present to face your fears." He heard her laugh and he glanced at her in time to see her dress be tugged up and over her head.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Put your clothes on!"

"I've been in my bathing suit all day," She laughed, placing her hands on her hips. "How is this any different?"

"Your bathing suit isn't… as nice as that." He cleared his throat, opening one eye a crack to look at her. He groaned again, trying not to think dirty thoughts.

"Mmm, I suppose lace would look silly on a swim suit." She looked down at her bust, which was clad in a blue and white lace bra. She had the matching panties on as well. She stepped toward him and grinned. "C'mon Steve it's exactly the same thing. The water'll sober me up."

She patted his shoulder as she passed and he turned to follow her movements. She was walking away from him, picking her way over the sand toward the water. He sucked in a deep breath as his eyes trained on lace panties that were riding high on her cheeks. He bit his lip, groaning softly debating whether the cold water would be good for him right about now.

The waves weren't big, in fact the tide was out and the water was quite calm. He could do this. He was in control now and he wasn't plummeting toward the mass of water in a broken jet.

He swallowed, watching as she approached the water and dipped her toes in. She squealed but turned to face him. "Water is nice!"

"Somehow I don't believe you." He shook his head, folding his arms over his chest.

"No really! It is." She nodded and stepped backward into the lapping water. She cringed but kept going. "Mmm nice and cool!" She grinned broadly and smiled. "C'mon Steve, I won't let anything happen to you. Promise." She placed her hands on her hips and tilted her head to the side.

He sighed. He knew she wouldn't have, even before she'd said anything. He had a feeling Aurora Dugan would go above and beyond to ensure he was ok.

He relented, pulling his shirt up and over his head. She let out a whoop as he unbuttoned his slacks, tugging them over his hips and letting them pool at his feet. He stepped out of them and approached the water.

"C'mon then if the water is so 'nice and cool'" He quipped with his fingers. She nodded and started wading in.

She made it mid-calf before she turned around. "I can't. It's cold! This was a mistake!" She started to run out of the water but Steve intercepted her with another arm around her waist. He hoisted her up, out of the water and ignored the sting of the cold to run into the waves with her in his arms.

She screamed and shrieked and thrashed against him, all while laughing and trying in vane to get out of his vice grip. He made it up to hip depth before he dropped them both down into the cold water.

"Jackass, it's cold!" She protested, splashing water at him.

He chuckled and stood, wiping his eyes. "You wanted to come in!"

"That was before I found out how cold it was." She whined. He pulled her close, hoping that his body would give her some warmth.

Her hands rested on his shoulders and she was reminded of the pool earlier in the day. She could feel every contour of his hard body against hers and it sent a thrill down her spine.

There were no distractions now. No one to interrupt them. She licked her lips and dropped her gaze to his chest.

"Aurora?" He murmured, the water lapping around them.

"Mmm?" She looked up again.

"I'm… I'm gonna kiss you again, ok?" He ducked his head, slowing until she nodded and met him half way.

His focus was pinned on her and her alone. In the bar there had been distractions – people around them, the music, his non-ability with dancing – but now it was just the two of them and she had his undivided attention.

Her grip tightened on him as her teeth nipped his bottom lip. An unexpected jolt of pleasure skipped through him and he groaned in the back of his throat. She did it again, enjoying the noise it elicited.

The cold of the water and the sound of the waves hitting the shore dulled significantly around them. He was rewarded with soft sighs and breathy moans as he explored her mouth, changing up the pressure every now and then.

Her legs somehow became wrapped around his waist and his fingers dug into the cheeks of her butt as he anchored her to his pelvis. She had to feel the hardness there; every so often her hips would flex against it, causing his grip to tighten ever more.

He just about lost it when she slipped her tongue into his mouth, all thoughts scattering completely. She was teaching him how to do this again in the only way she knew how and goddamn she was amazing at it.

The kiss lasted longer than it had in the club but it wasn't long enough when Rory pulled away, breathing heavily and blinking rapidly.

"That… this…" She laughed as she met his gaze, placing her forehead against his. "I haven't done this since I was a teenager."

"Kissed someone?" He asked, sounding confused.

She laughed again and leant back, her legs still wrapped around his waist to keep her from floating away.

"No, I mean… just random makeouts with a hot dude." She replied, sighing happily. "I'd forgotten how fun it was."

"Oh. Right." Steve nodded. He watched her lean back until she was lying on the waters surface, her lacy silk bra on display for him to see. "I can't say I've ever had random makeouts with a hot dude before, not unless you count Bucky –" He grinned as her head whipped up. "But it's been a while since I've done this too."

"No wait, go back to the bit about you making out with Bucky?" She laughed, sitting up again.

Her legs detangled from his waist and rested back on the sandy sea floor.

"Story for another time, Doll, your lips are turning blue." He looked at her then and threw an arm over her shoulder.

"You could probably warm them up." She suggested innocently and he chuckled.

"Let's remove you from the water and talk about that in a second." He tugged her from the water, holding her close to his side.

"You know, I like this side of you." Rory said as she threw herself onto the sand beside her dress.

"This side of me?" Steve questioned as he joined her, laying back to look up at what little stars he could see. The moon was nice and fat and round, not quite full but still very bright. It was just enough light to see by.

"This… flirty, fun, non-Captain side." She replied, leaning back on her hands.

"Are you implying that Captain America isn't fun?" He chuckled.

"I'm implying that sometimes you forget to turn him off and you become a little too serious all the time." She clarified. She waved a hand. "This life, it's not all that bad."

He turned to look at her. "I'm learning that." He nodded. "Coming to Boston has been better than I imagined. Seeing Peg, I thought it was going to be a lot harder than it was but instead it kind of gave me –"

"Closure?" Rory suggested and he nodded.

"Right. Closure. She was happy, she was loved and she had a life. I kind of promised her I would do the same." He smiled lightly and sat up.

"So I guess that life includes being a flirt and kissing pretty girls on dark beaches?" Rory suggested and Steve laughed.

"And in dark bars on dance floors." He nodded.

"I gotta say, I _really_ like this side of you." She sat forward and kissed him briefly again, reaching for her dress at the same time. She pulled back, taking in the dazed expression on his face. "That good, huh?"

"It's been 70 years since I kissed a dame. Kissing a fish would be just as good." He teased, reaching for his t-shirt.

"Hey! That's a little mean!" She sounded offended but the glint in her eyes told him she wasn't. "If it wasn't your birthday tomorrow –" Her sentence cut off with a strangled yell. "Oh my _god_ I'm such an idiot!" She started laughing and Steve had three seconds to brace himself before she launched herself at him.

"What the –"

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She exclaimed, pressing warm kisses to his face as she settled on his lap, her legs either side of his hips. "I'm so sorry I didn't do this at midnight!"

"Oh!" He laughed, throwing his head back as his hands settled on her hips. "I totally forgot."

"I would have remembered in the morning." She smiled cryptically. "But the morning doesn't happen until you fall asleep."

Steve nodded. "That makes sense." He looked up and saw the stars scattered before him. "How old am I now? 94? 95?"

"26." Rory corrected him. "You are 26 years old."

He looked down at her and sighed, shaking his head. "Not technically."

"Psh." She waved a hand. "Technicalities." She reached up and tapped his temple. "You're 26 here. You haven't lived 95 years. You've lived for 26 with a very long break in between, that is all. You should act like it." She smiled hesitantly as a strange look crossed his face.

He drew her closer, burying his face in her neck.

"Thank you." He murmured against her skin. She shivered and brought her hands to his hair, holding him close.

"You're welcome."

He lifted his head a short beat later and kissed her hard one last time. She responded instantly, her fingers burying in his hair to pull him closer. He was acutely aware of the motions of her tongue and the gentle pressure of her thighs either side of his hips. He knew they would have to establish some kind of ground rules later – if they ever did this again – but right now he wanted to feel every inch of her.

His hands explored her while they kissed, starting from where he was cupping her ass again and moving up. He found the swell of her hips and the gentle curve of her waist until his fingers were brushing against the lace cup of the bra.

She didn't stop him but he did hesitate. Making out with her was one thing but feeling her up? That he wasn't sure if she'd allow that. It wasn't that he didn't want to touch her; god all he wanted to do was touch her, to feel bare skin, to discover ticklish spots, to make her sigh and moan and smile – it was just that he wanted to make sure she wanted it too.

He was pretty sure that was all they were going to do. Sex wasn't likely to be on the cards, as much as he wouldn't say no it just wasn't the place for something like that –

She pulled away from him then, looking at him intently.

"Did I lose you?" She asked softly, her hand cupping his jaw.

"What? No I, uhm, just…" He fumbled for his words, his hands still resting against her ribs. "I think I need a second." He muttered and she chuckled softly.

"Okay." She murmured softly, dropping her hand to his shoulders. "Did you want to stop?"

"God no." He said quickly, causing her to laugh again. "I just –"

"It's ok, Steve. We should head back anyway." She ran her hands from his shoulders to his biceps, squeezing them lightly. "I wasn't thinking about doing anything more, anyway."

She shifted on him, causing him to groan and a smile touched her lips. He swallowed.

"Neither was I, I swear I just… that's automatic and –"

"Oh my god, calm down!" She exclaimed with a laugh. She ducked to kiss him once more before she stood, retrieving her dress from beside him. "I know it's automatic, don't worry."

He groaned softly, closing his eyes. She had no intention of taking it further because she thought he was inexperienced, a virgin. He wasn't, not by a long shot. That ship had sailed a long time before. Except she didn't know that and now he didn't know how to bring it up without sounding like he was pushing for more.

"Besides," She continued, pulling the dress over her head. "Making out is sometimes more fun, anyway. Especially when there's no pressure for anything else."

"Mhm." He nodded, pulling his shirt over his head. It was amusing and pathetic all at once that she didn't know. "Do I have to buy you dinner for this?" He asked and watched as she laughed.

"God no. That would be a date and I am way too much of a trainwreck for you." She patted his chest, handing him his jeans.

Steve frowned. "You're really not. I wish you wouldn't say things like that about yourself."

She just frowned, standing and waiting patiently while he finished dressing. They walked up the beach and back to her car.

"Boy do I have some presents for you in the morning." She said with her arm around his waist as he unlocked the car.

"You mean necking and seeing you in your underwear _wasn't_ my gift?" Steve blinked in mock surprise. The only thing that gave him away was the lift of his lip as he tried not to smirk.

"Well I guess it's _my_ birthday then because I copped an eyeful of that cute butt." She patted his chest and laughed at his expression.

Steve held the door open for her before getting in himself. Rory admired how good he looked behind the wheel of her car. Especially with his shirt off and those pecks on show to the world.

 _And that package…_

She glanced away quickly, but she couldn't deny she'd definitely seen and felt that he was packing some heat downstairs. Whether it was from the serum or natural she didn't care. She ached in that delicious way just thinking about him pressed against her again.

She cleared her throat and turned the radio up, trying to drown out those thoughts. Her mind and her body were thrumming with excitement. It had been a long time since she'd been kissed like that.

He was a surprisingly great kisser, used just the right amount of tongue and pressure without letting her take the lead entirely. She was surprised at his enthusiasm to kiss her and, good god, did her body want more.

But she couldn't do that to him. She couldn't be his first when he was the type to fall head over heels and she wasn't.

But god did she want to. She'd thought about it, she'd be lying if she said otherwise. She thought about raking her fingers down his cut abs, wrapping her legs around the V of his pelvis as he thrust into her again and again while he pushed her up against a door –

"Aurora?"

" _What_?!" He replied, her voice a little shrill. She cleared her throat. She blinked up at him, surprised to find him beside her. He was holding the open door, peering down at her. "Sorry. I was miles away."

He chuckled.

"Oh I know. I've been parked outside the house for at least two minutes." He stepped aside so she could see where the house stood, dark and quiet with her family fast asleep inside. "You ok?" He asked.

"Fine." She nodded, stepping out of the car. God she needed a cold shower. Heading back to the beach was _almost_ a tempting thought.

"What were you thinking about?" He asked as he slammed the door shut behind her and they headed to the house.

Her cheeks flushed red as she tried hard not to glance down at the front of his jeans.

"I… uh don't really remember." She lied. "One of those fleeting thoughts, you know." She said as flippantly as she could. _I need to get laid_.

"Must have been a good one then." He chuckled, handing her the keys. "Your cheeks are bright red."

"Oh it was." She agreed. She stuck her key in the lock and turned it as quietly as she could. They both tiptoed inside and up the stairs, feeling a little bit like a teenager still, sneaking in with a hot guy after a night of making out with him. Those were the days.

"Shh Bis…" She whispered to the golden retriever, who was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. His tail thumped rhythmically against the wall.

Rory quickly changed into some comfortable pyjamas and sat on her side of the bed while Steve changed in the bathroom. Biscuit sat beside her, curled up where he'd taken to sleeping again while she was home.

Steve returned a moment later, looking from her to the cot and back again.

"I promise to keep my hands to myself now we're back here." She held her hands up. "I just don't want to sleep alone…" She trailed off.

He laughed.

"You don't need to doll. I'd be stupid not to let you have your way with me." He murmured in a low voice. Rory slid between the sheets on her side and the light clicked out. She burrowed into the blanket, feeling the warmth radiate from his body. She wriggled closer to him until she was curled up against his side.

"We'd be stupid to do that now," She said in a soft voice. "Pa would shoot you." Steve audibly gulped at the thought.

"Just do me a favour and don't tell your Pa about _any_ of this." Steve said into the darkness. Rory chuckled.

"You have my word." She said seriously.

Despite the threat of a bullet wound, Steve wrapped an arm around her, holding her close as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok I know I've said the last three chapters were my favourite but this one is. Editing this again was fun. So much fun. If you liked it, let me know! Share it round, comment, kudos whatever. I just like to know people are enjoying my things.

Thanks for reading!

Playlist:

Let's Make Out - Does it Offend You, Yeah?

Shut Up and Dance - Walk the Moon

Howling For You - The Black Keys


	19. Fireworks

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 19: Fireworks

* * *

Steve woke up a little disoriented when all three kids burst into his room singing _Happy Birthday_ at the top of their lungs. A quick glance at the clock told him he'd been asleep for a little over 4 hours, but he sat up anyway and smiled as Hannah, Cody and Tucker jumped around by his feet.

The bed beside him was empty and he wondered where Aurora was.

"Happy Birthday, Steve!" Tucker grinned widely and landed on his butt after one last jump. "Are you getting up now?"

Steve chuckled and nodded, sitting up against his pillows. "Yeah, I'm getting up." He promised. "Where's your Aunt Rory?" He asked them.

"Kitchen." Tucker replied easily. He continued without missing a beat. "We want you to teach us some more fighting stuff. You're way good!" He jumped up again and started karate chopping the air. Cody started mimicking his brother and soon the two were mock fighting on the mattress.

"C'mon Steve! Get up!" Hannah urged him, smiling to show a gap in her teeth right at the front.

"Leave him alone, you ratbags. He doesn't have to get up yet." Rory's voice came from the door and he looked up. She entered the room with two cups of coffee in her hands and a tired smile on her face.

"Awh c'mon!" Tucker argued. Rory shook her head as she placed her coffee on her side table.

"Don't be annoying, Tuck. Out, all of you." She said, half way around a yawn. "Why don't you go and make sure Pa is making breakfast for everyone, hmm?"

"Can't we stay, Aunty Rory?" Cody argued, pulling a pouty face. " _Pleeeeeease_?"

"It's 8:17, you guys are too loud in the mornings." She sat on the bed and offered Steve his coffee. "Go make sure everyone has wrapped Steve's presents, ok?"

"Presents?" Steve said in surprise, taking the steaming mug from her.

"OK!" The three jumped off the bed and bolted for the door, intent on completing their mission. Rory sighed and sank into the pillows.

"Yes presents. It's your birthday." She groaned and closed her eyes. "I feel like I've been hit by a truck."

"Why are you out of bed then?" He asked, chuckling as he took a sip of his coffee.

"My head hurt too much. Needed coffee." She murmured, picking up her mug to take a sip. "We were only asleep for four hours." She whined after a minute. She put her coffee down again and buried her face in the pillows.

"Four hours is better than none." He pointed out with a chuckle and she peered at him from the corner of her narrowed eye.

"Four hours after a night of drinking and dancing and kissing pretty boys is not enough." She mumbled and he laughed again.

"So stay in bed, it's not like we have anything to do today" He shrugged, trying not to think about the last thing she'd said. She shook her head and rolled to her side, pillowing her hands under her cheek.

"Oh, there is so much to do today." She sighed.

"Like what?" He asked, studying her face as she closed her eyes again.

"After breakfast with everyone we've gotta pack everyone up into the cars and go get our picnic spot so we have the best view for the fireworks. I'm pretty sure Tony and Pepper also need picking up from the airport." She rolled to her side and opened her eyes. "Not to mention it's your birthday so we're doing something for that too." She grinned, stifling another yawn. "It's a busy day."

"My birthday?" He asked. "We don't have to do anything for it." He shook his head.

She pinned him with a flat look and then rolled her eyes.

"Uh yes. We do. It's your first birthday in 70 years. Of course we do." She said as he started to protest again. She sat up and stretched. "I'm not listening." She shook her head as she swung her legs out of bed and stood.

"You really don't have to." He groaned, embarrassed that she had gone to some kind of effort for him.

She went to her closet and produced two packages, ignoring him. One was a long, thin box and Steve frowned as she struggled with it for a second.

She smiled triumphantly as she got it under control, returning to her place beside him. She sat and crossed her legs Indian-style in front of him and he put his coffee down.

He gave her an incredulous look as he took the first package, the smaller of the two. He peeled back the paper slowly, trying not to rip it.

"You can rip it you know."

"I don't want to." He replied. He pulled the paper back to reveal a solid wooden box with a logo boasting the name Golden Artist Colours. He ran his finger over the name, recognising it instantly. "Rory…" He said softly, cracking the box open. Inside were the finest acrylic paints money could buy and it had been a very long time since he'd wanted to use them. "These are…"

"Open the other one, dummy." Rory laughed, waving him away. He had a peculiar expression on his face, like he wasn't used to people putting thought or effort into things for him. His blue eyes met hers and he stared hard at her for a moment, causing her already fried brain to freeze like a deer in lights.

"Thank you." He said seriously, his voice still soft and a little unsure. "I always wanted to paint but being colour blind –"

"Yeah I heard you tell Sharon one day. I've been planning this present for a while." She grinned proudly. "C'mon, stop staring at me and open the other one." She nodded to the longer, more rectangular present and looked away. A blush crept over her cheeks at the intensity of the stare. It had been a long time since someone had looked at her like that. It unnerved her slightly, gave her a rush she wasn't used to. She blamed exhaustion and dehydration for the feeling and shook herself out of it.

Steve cleared his throat and concentrated on the second present. It was a box of some kind, not overly heavy but not exactly light either. He peeled back the paper again, being less than careful this time. He stared at the box for a moment before looking back at her with a curious expression. The box was blank, no labels or writing to denote what it was.

"It's an easel. One that you can change the size of depending on where you are." She smiled. "I figured you'd have room for it in your new house. Something to pass the time when you're not off saving the world."

"This is… this is too much." Steve breathed, clearing his throat.

"It's your birthday. You deserve to be spoilt." She shrugged. He stared at her for a moment before he leaned forward and pressed a kiss against her cheek, making her squeak in surprise.

"When's your birthday?" He asked as he pulled away from her, satisfied at how red her face was.

"November 17th." She replied, her hand still on her cheek. "I'll be 27 on November 17th."

He nodded seriously. "I'll make sure I get you something just as great."

"You don't need to." She chuckled. She turned away from him, standing again. "Alright, I think I smell bacon and eggs so you should probably head down for breakfast. I'm going to take a shower." She stretched and Steve's eyes travelled up and down her form.

She was the most amazing person he'd ever met. She was the perfect combination of his old friends – the fiery passion and empathy from Peggy and the stubborn thoughtfulness of Dugan. He was entirely too lucky that she was in his life.

The kids were in the pool again when Steve went downstairs, their shrieks carrying for miles, and those were swiftly followed Alison calling out to them to calm down.

The sound of a teakettle whistling on the stove made him smile and he walked into the kitchen to find Peggy reading the paper in one hand and pouring tea into a mug with the other. Dugan sat across from her, also reading the paper, his bowler hat sitting beside him.

"Oh good, you're awake." Peggy noticed him immediately. She put the kettle down and dropped the paper as she made her way toward him. Her arms wrapped around him in a tight hug and she pressed a kiss to his cheek. Steve's arms settled around her, his chin resting on her head, and he breathed in deep. _Roses and Lavender._ He thought, smiling. She always wore roses and lavender and made the underground bunkers smell so much better. He was sure the other men appreciated her for it too.

"Rogers! Finally awake!" Dugan's voice boomed loudly around the kitchen and Steve felt a hand clap him on the back.

"Not the first time someone's said that to me lately." Steve chuckled, letting Peggy go. He took a seat beside Dugan at the breakfast bar.

"You're just in time, breakfast will be up soon." Dugan grinned widely at him.

"Excellent. I'm starving." Steve nodded.

"Would you like tea or a coffee, Steve?" Peggy asked as she reached for a third mug.

"Coffee, please. Never did take to tea." He chuckled, taking the paper Dugan was offering him.

"Not that I didn't try." Peggy smiled warmly, reaching for the pot of coffee. "How was your night last night? Rory and her brothers can get a little rowdy sometimes." She asked as she slid the mug toward him.

"It was fun. Different, but fun." He replied with a smile as he took it from the counter.

"Good. Times have changed since you and I would have gone dancing." Peggy leant her hip against the counter, bringing her teacup delicately to her lips.

"I'm sorry I missed it. Dancing today is even more complicated than back in our time." He shook his head, remembering how close Rory had been to him and how her hips swayed to the beat, making his do the same in return.

"I'm sure Aurora had a good time trying to teach you. That girl of mine loves to dance. Always has." Dugan spoke fondly and Steve smiled.

"She tried, I'm not sure if she was successful."

"I expect she's still asleep, what time did you all even get in the door?" Peggy laughed, glancing at the clock.

"I heard the car around 3?" Dugan elbowed him. "The others arrived about an hour before that, though. You two came home later." His eyebrow rose and Steve ran a hand through his hair.

Flashes of kissing Aurora went through his mind and he felt incredibly awkward sitting between his two friends.

"She actually insisted on going to the beach."

"The beach!?" Peggy laughed loudly. "What on earth for? Where were the others?"

"Still in O'Rilleys. We may have been asked to leave." Steve dropped his head bashfully, a smirk on his lips. Peggy's eyes widened and she leaned forward, her hands wrapped around her mug.

"What did she do this time?" Dugan asked, sounding more defeated than surprised. Something told Steve it wouldn't have been the first time Rory had been asked to leave the bar.

"Oh it wasn't her. I punched Jason." He answered simply but the reaction from both Peggy and Dugan was the same. Their eyes hardened and their backs stiffened and Steve knew they were mentally reaching for their guns.

"Jason was there?" Peggy's voice was deadly calm and a shiver went up Steve's spine.

"Yeah. He made a point to seek her out. I've never seen her look so afraid before." Steve's jaw ticked and Peggy's eyes met his.

"She told you about him?" Dugan sounded surprised and he exchanged a look with Peggy.

"Everything. A while ago now." He added with a nod. "When I realised who he was I couldn't stop myself from punching him right in the kisser." He rubbed his knuckles absently.

"Good man, Rogers. You've always been a good man." Dugan nodded gruffly. He turned the page of his newspaper delicately but Steve could see his hand shaking.

"It's so hard to imagine someone doing that to her."

Peggy nodded sadly.

"If I hadn't seen it myself I wouldn't believe it either. Rory's such a bright and headstrong woman, but he did it. He sapped the confidence right out of her and made her a shell of herself."

"We were asked to leave after I punched him and she didn't want to come home so we went to the beach."

Peggy watched him, a fond expression crossing her face.

"You always have to take on other people's bullies, don't you Steve?"

"This one was a little bit more personal."

"I've wanted to punch that smug little bastards face since the day I met him." Dugan murmured, his eyes trained on the sports page. "What she saw in him I will never know but everyone has to make their own mistakes and he was her biggest."

"I'm glad she told you about him. Maybe this is her opening up and moving on." Peggy smiled fondly.

Steve nodded. "It made her stronger, that's for sure."

"I just wish she'd let someone else in, is all. I want her to be as happy as the others." Peggy pursed her lips, turning to look at her family out in the garden and Steve smiled.

"She is happy, Peg. She'll find someone one day." He drained his coffee mug. He stood and walked around the counter to rinse his mug. He dropped a kiss to Peggy's cheek again. "Of course, they'll have to go through me first."

"I have no doubt about it." Peggy smiled, "He has to go through two brothers and her grandfather. Captain America is just going to make men run in the other direction."

"Good. She's too young for things like this anyway. She's still an innocent baby." Dugan grumbled and Peggy laughed. Steve's cheeks flushed as he thought about their kiss again. There had been nothing innocent about it. Dugan looked up at the clock. "Was she awake when you came downstairs?" He asked.

"Yeah, she was going to shower. Gave me her presents first." Steve nodded.

"Surprising that Rory got up to give it to you." Dugan grinned, folding his paper. "Normally it's like poking a bear trying to wake her up after a night out with her brothers."

"Oh it is not Pa." Rory said from the doorway to the kitchen. She looked refreshed and ready for the day, the dark circles of makeup gone from under her eyes. Her bathing suit today was a very patriotic red, white and blue American Flag that almost rivalled Steve's own Avenger's suit. He cleared his throat and looked away, glad she at least had a cotton button up pulled over her shoulders. She was still a damned knock out though.

She walked into the kitchen, brushing past Steve on her search for more coffee.

"Is breakfast almost ready? I'm starved." She sighed, stifling a yawn. "And what time are we leaving for the Island?"

"I'm just about to go and serve breakfast on the tables outside, so, soon." Dugan nodded, standing and heading for the door. "We're due on the boat to take us at 12."

"Do you know if Tony and Pepper are still coming?"

"As far as I know, yes but I haven't spoken to him." Rory replied, taking out her phone. She boosted herself up on the counter beside Steve. "I'll text them now."

"What's the Island?" Steve asked, a little lost about the plans for the day.

"They hold a fireworks spectacular on Spectacle Island in the Harbour. We take food and drinks with us and have a picnic dinner. Then we play football or Frisbee and when it's dark we watch the fireworks." Peggy replied with a smile. "We haven't done it in a few years but since you were coming we changed things up."

"The kids like it. It's fun." Dugan shrugged a shoulder as he opened the door. "Football gets wicked competitive too. Tim and Rory usually end up yelling at each other."

Rory's lips twitched but she said nothing. Her phone buzzed in her hand. "Tony's _private jet_ lands at 2." She rolled her eyes. "They'll meet us there, they have a driver."

"Of course he does." Steve chuckled.

"Pretentious ass." Rory muttered lovingly, dropping her phone to the counter. "C'mon, let's go eat I'm _starving_."

The family showered Steve with love after breakfast, giving him all of their presents one by one. He really had no idea what to say to them all, he was overwhelmed by gratitude.

From Maggie and Jay he received three canvasses and some beautiful paintbrushes to go with Rory's present.

From Grant and Alison, a book of military history spanning from WWII til the present day.

Tim and Jo gave him another book, but this was the complete history of popular culture, spanning the seventy decades he'd been asleep.

Dugan gave him a 10 disc CD set of music and Peggy gave him a care package of sheets, pillowcases, quilt covers, towels and more for his new apartment. He willed himself not to cry from the overwhelming gratitude he felt for the entire family.

Arthur and Darcy had compiled a box of all the movies that were apparently a must watch. Titles included _Pulp Fiction, The Godfather Collection_ and _Ferris Bueller's Day Off_. There were 40 all up and Darcy insisted they were all ones that he'd never seen before.

Sharon's present left him speechless.

"Where did you find this?" He asked as he traced his fingers over the replica of his shield, that was etched onto the compass in his palm.

"I know people and I figured you needed a new one." She smiled, bringing the coffee mug up to her lips. "You're welcome."

"I love it." He smiled and pulled her into his side for a tight hug. "Thank you."

"Our leader needs to know where he's going." She said as she hugged him back. "Your old compass is too important to you to take on missions."

"I love it, Sharon. Thank you." He dropped a kiss onto her head and she laughed.

"You'd think I gave you a precious diamond or something." She waved him away with a shake of her head.

"It's better than that." He pocketed the compass, knowing he would treasure it forever.

* * *

They arrived at the island just after 12 and Rory was anxious. Everything had to be perfect. She'd planned this party to be totally secret and as far as she could see, Steve had no idea.

"Is security always like this?" Steve questioned as he took the cooler box from her hands.

"No." She shook her head, smiling lightly. Security was tight because she had all Steve's team coming to the Island, plus Gabe Jones and some of his family. She didn't want the day to turn into a media circus so she'd pulled some strings with SHIELD. "I may have called in a couple of favors for something." She said, scooping up another bag.

"For what?" Steve asked in confusion.

"You'll see." She smiled, placing a hat on her head.

She led Steve up the jetty after her family, her stomach tight. There was a marquee set up for them right on the beach, on top of some sand dunes and they had full access to the water from there.

"We're in that one, over there." She pointed to Steve, tugging on his arm.

He frowned, pausing slightly.

"Are we sharing with people?"

She just laughed, shaking her head.

"You'll see." She said again.

Natasha and Pepper had arrived early and she could see the decorations they'd set up for him.

"Aurora…" Steve said in a low voice, slowing again as they walked down he sand. "What…"

"Happy Birthday, Steve." She smiled, gesturing over her shoulder.

"SURPRISE!" The chorus of people had Steve's eyes going wide and his mouth dropped open. She heard the click of a camera and Clint laughing. She laughed also, stepping forward to grab his arm.

"What is this?" He asked, laughing lightly.

"We pulled some strings and shut down the island. That's why there's so much security." Peggy's voice was to his left and he looked at her. His mouth was open, he knew, but he couldn't help it. "We figured having the Avengers in one spot would make for some serious PR problems so no one knows they're here." She smiled.

"You did this?" Steve asked and Rory ducked her head.

"Oh no, this was all _her_ idea." Peggy nodded to her granddaughter, laughing lightly as she walked away.

Steve turned to her, placing the cooler on the floor.

"You did all of this?" He asked, his voice soft with shock. He was looking at her with that intense stare again, the kind that made her stomach flip wildly.

"Yeah. Happy Birthday!" She smiled, trying to shake the feeling. He scooped her up in a tight hug.

"Thank you."

"Everyone is here, including Uncle Gabe _and_ Uncle Monty."

"Monty is here?" He asked in surprise, letting her put her feet on the ground again but not letting her go. His hands remained firmly on her hips and she was acutely aware of the sound of Clint's camera clicking again.

"Yeah, Tony had him flown over on a private jet. Not even Arthur knows he's here yet." She laughed lightly. "His mother and father are here too. They're absolutely fantastic, just wait." She grinned.

She tugged out of his grip to beckon him further into the marquee. People stopped him every two steps and she let them. His eyes never left her for long though.

"Rory!" A voice called out to her and she turned to find Beth approaching.

"Beth! You made it." She embraced her friend.

"I did. Couldn't miss it." The girl laughed. She turned and looked at Steve. "He seems suitably stunned."

Rory laughed lightly, nodding. "He really had no idea." She moved to the drinks table as Steve met up with Monty and Gabe. "I think I did ok."

"Ok? Girl, you did amazingly. That man is lucky to have you." Beth took the drink Rory was offering her.

"Ah well, he doesn't _have_ me." She corrected hastily. She didn't need people getting the wrong idea about them. They were friends, that was it. Nothing more… She touched her lips as they tingled with the memory of kissing him. God, it had been a good kiss. Kiss of a lifetime, hands down.

"I think that's bullshit." Beth nudged her shoulder, glancing from Rory to Steve and back again. "You look like you have a secret."

"I don't." Rory shook her head, keeping her face neutral.

"Rory, I've known you since we were 4. You're lying." Beth rolled her eyes.

"I am not." She shook her head. Her lips twitched and Beth laughed loudly.

"Bullshit."

"Alright, fine. We may have… hooked up last night." Rory glanced at Steve, finding him watching her again.

" _NO WAY!_ " Beth shrieked and Rory hushed her with a quick slap.

"Shut up! Nothing _sexual_." She added behind her hand. "Just making out like teenagers, on the beach." Her cheeks bushed red but it felt good to talk about it. She'd been dying to talk to someone about it. Someone who wouldn't push her, or judge her.

"Daaaamn you go, lady. Like honestly, I'm so proud of you." Beth grinned widely, giving a little wave to Steve. "Is he taking you out soon?"

Rory downed her drink, even though her stomach protested.

"God no." She shook her head. "Steve is just a friend –"

"Who you threw a _major_ party for." Beth reminded her.

"He's a good friend. Nothing more. I have to focus on my –"

"Career, yeah I've heard it before." Beth rolled her eyes. "How was he to kiss?"

Rory bit her lip, smiling secretively.

"Kiss of a lifetime."

"Damn." Beth murmured with a sigh. "I have a man back in D.C. I don't think it's gonna work out." She sighed, shaking her head.

"Oh?" Rory raised her eyebrow. "Why not?"

"I'm moving to New York."

" _YOU'RE WHAT!_ " It was her turn to shriek and Beth's turn to hush her.

"Shh, people don't know yet." Beth hushed her. "But you're looking at the newest biomechanical engineer for Stark Industries."

"Oh holy shit." Rory hugged her friend tightly. "Congratulations. I thought SHIELD was hunting you?"

"They were. Still are, but they're hunting me for bio-molecular stuff. Tony's offered me a better job _and_ my own lab." Beth grinned and Rory was so proud of her friend. Beth had to be the smartest woman she knew. It was good she was finally getting recognition.

"That means I can see you all the time!" Rory grinned.

"It does. You still need an apartment? I might need a roommate to cover the costs of New York City living." Beth chuckled. Rory grinned.

"From what I hear, Tony pays very handsomely. I'm sure you'll survive but I'll keep it in mind." She nodded.

"I promise I won't tell anyone when you and Steve end up making out on my couch." Beth elbowed her and Rory elbowed her back.

"Shhh." But even she couldn't deny the blush on her face and the smirk on her lips may have meant a whole lot more.

* * *

"He's _my_ super soldier!"

"I definitely don't see your name on him."

"You're totally cheating, Timothy."

"You'd be cheating too if you had him!"

Steve laughed loudly as Tim and Rory fought over whose team he was going to be on. Apparently Peggy hadn't been kidding when she'd warned him about them yelling at each other. Even Maggie had told him only minutes earlier what they were like.

"We're a highly competitive bunch, Steve. You'll see. Football is a _bloodbath_." She'd warned and he'd only half believed her. Now he saw he should have run for cover because the two youngest siblings were scarier than any Hydra foe he'd encountered.

" _Fine_. You have the dumb super solider then, I'll get The Widow." Rory shot back, folding her arms across her chest.

"Aren't I worth something too?" Clint pouted as Natasha left his side, kicking off her heels as she grinned happily.

"Not as much as me." She winked, turning away from him.

"Hey, I'm not dumb." Steve chuckled, shaking his head at her intensity. He elbowed her in the side.

"You are if you side with them." Rory stuck her tongue out and wrapped an arm around Natasha. The two women walked to where their team could form without interruption and Steve grinned.

"We're doomed." Clint muttered as he joined the boys' side, shrugging out of his jacket.

Steve laughed again and watched the women's team form. It consisted of a deadly assassin, two spies, an intern, an astrophysicist, and the CEO of Stark Industries. It was an interesting team that was for sure but as he looked at his team he wondered if she knew what she was up against:

Two normal soldiers, a spy, an assassin, a god, and himself as a super soldier; He felt, compared to the women, they were a little overpowered.

"Wait a sec, why isn't Tony playing?" He asked Grant, glancing to where Stark was stretched out on a picnic blanket, looking like a King in an expensive summer suit. He had a martini glass in hand for effect and had dark glasses over his eyes despite the setting sun.

"To quote the man himself: 'Stark doesn't sport'." Grant shook his head.

"Ever." Tim agreed. "He doesn't want to break a nail."

"I can hear you." Tony called out to them, looking over the top of his sunglasses at him. "Why would I want to play a game where the main point is to throw yourself onto another person. I'm a Superhero and that even seems dumb to me."

"Because it's an American tradition, Stark and you're too soft." Arthur yelled back. Stark merely shrugged, having heard it all before and sipped his drink.

"At least Pepper plays." Grant said, glancing over to where the girls had their heads together. "Right, strategy: Shadow the women like a hawk. Play _dirty_ because we all know they will." He scowled.

Tim turned to Steve.

"Y _ou_ stick to Rory." He said seriously. "She's wicked fast and will take a dive into the sand given the chance. She gives no fucks when it comes to beating us."

"We usually end up playing dirty. Use your strength again her." Arthur agreed.

"So basically cheat?" Steve asked, rubbing his chin.

"Cheat." The brothers agreed together.

"She's the only girl who really knows how to play so you take care of her and we'll take care of the score." Arthur clapped his hands, rubbing them together gleefully.

"Nat knows too. I'll take care of her." Clint nodded.

"Well you have to. She'll kill us." Tim rolled his eyes.

Steve grinned. "Aurora will kill us if we cheat." He warned.

"Oh we know." The three of them said together. Steve laughed. They were clearly experts. "Just watch her though. She's the biggest cheat."

"Cheat it is then." Steve agreed. "Thor, are you up on the rules?"

"I believe yes. Jane and Darcy were explaining them to me earlier. I believe this is much like a sport we have on Asgard except we use the heads of our enemies after a battle." Thor explained with a wide grin.

"Er… right…No heads in this one." Steve nodded slowly. "Everyone read to cheat?"

And cheat they did: picking the girls up to prevent them from scoring was by far the easiest option for all of them, but keeping them at arms length in order to stop them from getting the ball worked as well.

Steve made sure to keep on Rory like a hawk while Clint took care of Natasha. Thor used his strength to carry both Darcy and Jane away from the touchdown zone, which made Steve laugh hard. He'd never heard women swear so much in his entire life and it was entirely too funny.

"C'mon NO FAIR!" Rory yelled, laughing despite herself as Steve crowded her from behind. She hugged the ball into her chest and bent forward, searching desperately for a teammate who wasn't being harassed by the other team. The fading light made it all the more difficult to see and she laughed as she ducked around Steve's legs.

"SHARON!" She yelled to her cousin who was sprinting toward Steve's turned back. Steve saw her coming and before Rory had the chance to toss the ball, Steve tucked an arm firmly around her waist and picked her up off her feet, spinning her away from the direction she needed to go. She squealed, beating her fists on his arm.

"FOUL PLAY!" She hollered at him, still laughing even though she didn't want to. "FOUL. PLAY!"

"Your brothers told me to." Steve shrugged, swinging her up and over his shoulder.

"Dirty cheaters!" Rory growled, gripping the ball tightly in her hand. "And YOU! You're meant to be on _my_ side. Remember, _friend_?" She poked him in the side and he flinched, letting out a slight giggle. She did it again and he reached around to capture her hands.

"Don't poke me." He chuckled. "We're friends, but I have this ridiculous competitive streak and it's worse since –"

"Oh yeah, blame your serum." She rolled her eyes, wiggling her fingers free to attack his ribs again. Steve giggled and spun around, causing Rory's eyes to roll. "OK! No more tickling, I swear. Don't do that again." She groaned, dropping the ball to hold onto her spinning head.

"Promise?"

"Promise." She agreed. "I had no idea you were ticklish."

"You never asked." Steve shrugged. He looked around as his name was called. "Looks like game over."

Rory craned her neck to see Peggy beckoning them toward the picnic blankets. "Ugh we _definitely_ almost had you."

"I'm pretty sure _we_ totally kicked your ass." Steve laughed, walking them both back to the group.

"Only because you – Oohff – cheated." She let out a puff as he deposited Rory on the rug, before throwing himself down beside her.

"You say cheated, we say winning." Steve grinned at her, hearing the chorus of his team agreeing. She rolled her eyes.

Tony peered between the two curiously. "What did you do to Cap?"

Rory's eyebrows knitted as someone passed her a plate of food. "What?"

" _What_ did you **do** to him? He's less… broody and awkward. More… touchy feely. I do believe I even saw him _flirting_ with you." Tony narrowed his eyes and wrinkled his nose. Pepper gave a small laugh in amusement. "I like awkward Cap. He's easier to tease. You broke my Capsicle."

"She didn't do anything to me, Tony." Steve shook his head, reaching for the beer Sharon was passing to him.

"He's just more… relaxed now." Rory smiled, nudging him. He nodded, returning her smile.

"I like it." Sharon spoke as she settled herself beside Tony. Steve turned his smile on her. "More human, less unattainable-perfection." Steve rolled his eyes and tipped his beer back, muttering something about being far from perfect.

"So do I. You've finally stopped calling me 'Miss Potts'." Pepper said, spearing a piece of potato salad with a fork. "I kinda like this flirty side of Cap."

"Hey!" Tony scowled, looking over the top of his glasses at Pepper.

"No one blames you, Pep." Beth murmured as she passed.

Steve's cheeks blushed red as the women laughed, he shook his head, watching the people around them talking and laughing. This was definitely the most content he'd been in a very, very long time and he had only one person to thank for it.

"This is quite honestly the best birthday I've had in a very long time." He said quietly to her a while later, once it was dark and bonfires were lit. She smiled and rocked into him, their shoulders coming to rest together.

"I'm glad. I just… wanted to do something fun and cool. I figure you could use the reminder that you are incredibly loved and you have this great big support network." She gestured to where everyone had broken off into small groups along the sand.

"I really, really appreciate it. Thank you." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tugged her into his side. "I don't know how I'll ever top this." He chuckled, dropping a surreptitious kiss to her head.

"You don't ever have to." She shook her head. Across the harbour, lights started going out and she sat up a little straighter. "Oooh fire works are starting!" She said in a hushed, excited voice. "I love them." She added, leaning into him.

He smiled, watching her watch the sky in anticipation. Even though he was expecting it, the explosion that ripped through the quiet night and lit up the island made him jump. People screamed in delight and he tightened his grip on Aurora, hoping to all hell the noise wouldn't trigger anything. He'd been doing so well as of late, there'd been no attacks in the last month. He didn't want this to be what broke him.

"You doing ok?" Rory asked, feeling him tighten his grip. He looked down at her, finding her smiling brightly at him. She looked away from him as another crack broke the night. The red, white and blue light lit up her features and he hoped he would always remember that smile on her face.

"Yeah, I'm good." He nodded, shifting her from beside him to the sand between his knees. He drew his arms tightly around her shoulders until he engulfed her small frame.

Her eyes remained trained on the night sky and Steve looked up as well, listening to the gasps and sounds of amazement she made as the colours and shapes took form in the sparks.

He let his chin rest on her shoulder and relaxed against her. He was a little embarrassed to see his shield and helmet be created out of fireworks but it impressed him that they could do that now.

It was all over far too quick and soon they were packing up the beach to all head back to the mainland.

"Thank you all for coming." He shook many hands and hugged a lot of people as they passed him on the way to the boats.

"It was good to see you again, Rogers." Gabe clapped a hand over his. "Come to D.C. again. Monty's gonna be sticking with me for a little while." He gestured down to the man in question.

"I will be there, I promise." Steve smiled and shook Monty's hand again. "You take care of yourself, Falsworth. It was great to see you."

"I'm glad you're back, Rogers." The Englishman smiled. "You look out for my Grandson, won't you?"

"Oh I think Rory Dugan looks out for him enough." Steve chuckled, glancing to where she was ordering Clint, Arthur and her brothers around as they backed things away.

"She's a good kid." Gabe agreed. "Dugan and Peg did a fine job with her. All the kids really."

"That they did." Steve nodded, pulling his gaze away from her. "You all did it. Everything we ever talked about, you guys pulled it off."

"You'll get it one day too, man." Gabe promised, reaching out a hand as Beth met up with him. "Ready, baby girl?"

"Yup, definitely." She nodded. "Happy birthday Steve." She hugged Steve tightly.

"Thanks for coming Beth, it was great to see you again."

"You too. You'll be seeing more of me soon enough. I'm working for Stark starting at the end of the year." She grinned, her eyes shining.

"Oh congratulations!" Steve exclaimed, glancing at Gabe. The older man sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"I couldn't argue with her. She's a biochemist and mechanical engineer. How much trouble could she get into?" He smiled fondly at his granddaughter.

"You'd be surprise." She smirked. "C'mon, we should go." She waved to Steve again and then led his old friends away. Steve sighed, watching them go.

"Hey," Rory appeared behind Steve a moment later, her hand on his back. "You all ready to go?"

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Definitely." He nodded, letting her lead him to the boats, unaware that everyone behind them were placing bets and taking guesses on what was going on between the two.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry the update is a little late. I've been busy and hard at work writing the sequel! If you like it, tell me! I love hearing from you all! Share it round with friends too. It means so much to me as a writer that my words are spread around. Next one out soon!

Also to answer the same question that I've had a few times: I update sporadically. There's no usual day!

Playlist:

Fourth of July – Fall Out Boy

Can't Take My Eyes Off You – Frankie Valli

Iris – GooGoo Dolls

Hero/Heroine - Boys Like Girls

Kids in Love - Mayday Parade


	20. The Truth Within Lies

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 20: The Truth Within Lies

* * *

Rory wasn't sure what had woken her at first because when she opened her eyes she found the room and house quiet. Two arms wrapped around her, holding her firmly in place and she smiled. Maybe Steve had shifted in his sleep and that was all.

She closed her eyes again, listening to his rhythmic breathing in her ear as she slipped back into sleep… but then it happened again. It took her a couple of seconds to figure out that her phone was buzzing on wooden nightstand and she fumbled around for it as Steve groaned.

"Dugan." She answered it, struggling not to yawn.

" _Aurora, it's Jasper."_ Said the voice on the other end and Rory's eyes sprang open.

"Jas!? Where are you?" She slipped out of Steve's arms to sit up. She looked at the clock, seeing the 2:23 number illuminated there.

" _Still on my mission but I have some information that might interest you."_ He replied and Rory rubbed her eyes.

"Oh yeah?"

" _Yeah. We found Evanier again."_

Rory gasped. "No way!" She swung her legs out of bed, rummaging through her bag for her work tablet. "Have you sent me everything?"

" _You know it. I won't be able to help you but I'm sure Arthur will. Get Sharon to stand in for me."_ Jasper explained. There was a muffled voice on the other end of his line " _I have to go. Happy hunting."_

"Thanks Jas. Good luck and I owe you!" She grinned as she clicked off. The email from Jasper was in her inbox and she opened it, the screen of her laptop showing her excited face.

"What's going on?" Steve's sleepy voice asked from behind her and she turned to face him.

"The mission I was sent on when you came out of the ice has popped up again." She said in a hushed voice. "Jasper got a direct hit on him in Prague in the Czech Republic. The guy has been off the grid for _months_." She looked at the information she'd been given. Marcus Evanier had popped up again in Italy, doing deals with some noted Hydra personnel. There was to be a benefit ball in two days time and Jasper had organised _Rosalie_ a ticket. "Oh Jasper you absolutely beautiful man." She laughed, grinning from excitement.

"Explanation?" Steve asked, sitting up. He ran his hand through his hair as he leant into her, his chest against her shoulder. She turned her head, resting against him as she pointed to the screen.

"He's set up a ticket to a benefit ball, _Child in Need_ Charity _._ It's probably a front for some dirty business. The guest list are _all_ hydra red flags." She shook her head. "Marcus will be there. It's out chance to get him." She explained.

"Except you're not a field agent anymore." Steve pointed out with an arched brow.

"If Fury wants a takedown, he'd going to have to reinstate me." She said, reaching for her phone. Steve frowned, looking at the screen again.

"Remind me who this guy is?"

"His name is Marcus Evanier. He's an investment banker based in Germany but we have substantial evidence that he's funding HYDRA's research." She explained.

"If you have substantial evidence why don't you bring him down?" Steve asked, his chin resting on her shoulder.

"Because he's a slimy piece of work and there is only one way we can do that. The night I was called back for the invasion on Manhattan, I was supposed to retrieve a file from his computer. I'd spent weeks gaining his trust, leading him on enough that he'd want to take me back to his room so I could get this file and we were called away. He dropped off the radar after that." The disappointment and annoyance was evident in her tone.

"But now he's back." Steve said softly, trying not to think about Rory in this guy's room. Alone. Doing what she could to get access to his file. It made him want to break things and his fingers dug into the mattress beneath him.

"He is. God I need to call Fury and wake Arthur. They're going to want to be in on this. We need to head straight to Italy. We're going to have one night to do this. One last shot."

Steve nodded and stood reaching for their bags to start to pack. "Just let me know what you need."

She smiled at him as she picked up her SHIELD phone. "Go wake Arthur for me. We gotta leave ASAP." She dialed Fury's number and waited for him to pick up. As usual he sounded wide-awake. "Fury, it's Agent Dugan. Sitwell's forwarded me some information regarding someone very important to us…"

* * *

Three hours later Rory, Arthur, Sharon and Steve were seated on a Quinjet and headed for Italy. It had been hard leaving her family so unexpectedly, harder than usual because it was so early in the morning but they had no time to waste.

Fury had reinstated her immediately and agreed to let Steve and Sharon join the mission as extra sets of hands. Considering how many Hydra businessmen and women there were going to be, they would need all the help they could get.

"Right, so the story with this guy is that he's very good at just dropping off the grid." Rory handed a Stark Tablet to Steve and Sharon, who both needed to be filled in on all the gory details of their mark. "He has bank accounts all over the world and has been investing in some very strange things."

"We came close to catching him last time but then Manhattan happened and he dropped off the grid again." Arthur agreed. "We thought he'd cottoned on to who we were but it apparently turns out he hasn't."

"So you guys get in, set up in the hotel room that'll be connected to mine, and we get out. Sharon, you and Steve will be on coms, keeping an eye on the ballroom and people. Arthur will be down on the floor with me, posing as a waiter."

"Oh fun, thanks love." He rolled his eyes.

"You hate being up in the room, you get claustrophobic." Rory pointed out with a tone matching her eyeroll. "It should be a relatively easy mission: I meet up with him, I convince him to take me back to his room, I drug him and get the laptop and get out. Once we have that proof we'll be fine."

"Why can't Sharon or I get into his room and get it while you keep him busy?" Steve asked, still not entirely liking the idea of Rory being with the mark alone in his room.

"Because he's a paranoid freak. He'll have a guard outside his room while he's not there, more inside his room _and_ we're not entirely sure which room he's even in. He may not be in the hotel at all." Rory replied.

"You can't leave our sight." Steve's eyebrow rose.

"I'll have some tech on me, I promise you, I'll be in touch with you constantly. Arthur will follow us if we leave the building." She threw him a reassuring smile and clicked the Stark Pad off, settling into her seat. "It's an in and out. I'll be fine, I'm pretty great at my job, Steve."

"I have no doubt." Steve replied. "Still doesn't mean I have to like it." He flicked through the file and looked at the guys rap sheet.

It wasn't just investment banking he was wanted for. According to Interpol wherever he went there was a string of missing women, some found brutally tortured and each one had their throats slit. He glanced up at Rory, fear spiking through his gut. She was perfect for this mission, she already had an in with him, but he couldn't help but feel this could end badly. He moved over to the seat beside hers.

"Are you sure there's no other way to do this? Send me in to take him out?" He asked nervously, reaching for her hand.

"He already trusts me, it's going to be more simple than you think it is." She assured him, squeezing his hand gently in response.

"The guy's a psychopath –"

"None of that was ever proven." She pointed out. He pinned her with a disbelieving look and she shrugged. "I'll be careful. I promise." Steve shook his head but stayed quiet, his fingers still linked with Auroras.

They made it to the hotel with a few hours to spare, giving them time to set up what they could around the ballroom. They would have surveillance everywhere they could. They were taking no chances with who they were dealing with.

All the bags, which contained their tech, were in the room, just like the desk clerk had said. One by one they opened each and set up.

"There's a wig in here, Rory." Sharon piped up when she unzipped a suitcase. "There are also some stunning dresses and makeup."

"That must be Rosalie's bag then." Rory said, abandoning the contact lens camera she'd been inspecting to have a look. She pulled a beautiful, turquoise blue chiffon gown out of the case and her eyes widened. "This is even better than the first one!" She grinned and turned to Arthur. "What do you think?"

"Gorgeous, love. Whoever picked the wardrobe this time did a good job." Arthur glanced up from the electronics laid out in front of him. "Go start getting ready, we don't have a lot of time."

Rosalie was back and ready for action about 3 hours later. Sharon was thrilled with her handywork and they were just tidying up the room when Steve knocked on the door between the rooms.

"Can I come in?"

" _Oui, monsieur, vous pouvez_." She called out. She turned as he walked into the room and struck a pose. " _What do you think_?"

Steve stared at her for a good and solid five second before his brain kicked into gear enough to make his mouth work.

" _Absolutely fantastic._ " He replied in French. She laughed and stepped toward him, her hands finding the blonde strands that curled around her face.

" _Even as a blonde?_ " She asked.

" _Oh yeah. Even as a blonde."_ His grin turned sly and it sent a zing up Rory's back. Steve Rogers speaking French was ridiculously hot. " _Although, I_ do _prefer you as a red head. Always been quite partial to red heads, honestly._ "

Rory's eyebrows rose and she laughed. Her insides tingled. " _Careful, I might think you're flirting with me again, Captain."_ She said, only half joking. There was a small part of her that wished he wouldn't stop.

He gave her a charming smile. _"Would it be so bad if I was_?"

" _No, I guess I could allow it."_ She teased back, a light blush covering her cheeks. Her heart raced and she wondered how much of this was a game. He leaned in toward her and she watched him with wide eyes.

"I don't speak French but could you stop flirting and focus?" Sharon called out, but Rory barely heard her.

" _What else would you allow?_ " Steve asked in flawless French. He slid lazily toward her until he was inches away. He smelled so good, C.K. _Eternity_ , hell yes. She would always think of him when she smelled that scent and it would forever make her heart race she was sure. His arm snaked around her hips, pulling her closer.

She opened her mouth to reply but a knock at her hotel room door cut her off. She frowned, ducking her head out to look at Sharon.

"Who the hell could that be?" She hissed. As Sharon shrugged Aurora moved to the door and looked through the peephole. Steve's hand went for the gun on his waist and Sharon reached for hers.

Her heart stopped as she looked through the peephole.

"It's Marcus!" She hissed as she turned to face the other two and beckoned them to get out of her room. Another knock sounded, more insistent than the first two and she moved away from the door to call out.

" _I'm coming! Hold on!"_

She checked again to make sure Sharon and Steve were hidden from sight and then she opened the door.

"Marcus." She said with genuine surprise. How had he found her. "Wh-what are you doing here?" She cleared her throat, composing herself. Her heart raced in her chest. This wasn't part of the plan.

He gifted her with a single red rose and smiled.

"I'm escorting you to the ball." He replied, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. She stiffened but let him. She placed a hand on his arm to stop him from stepping inside. He looked down at it, his eyes flashing in annoyance.

"How did you even know I was here?" She asked, her blood spiking with adrenalin. Had this all been a set up? Had Jasper's source been a plant?

"The benefit of helping organize such an event means that I get a look at the guest list." He replied smoothly and in English. "I saw your name and thought I should make the radio silence up to you."

Rory removed her hand but folded her arms, still not moving. She pouted.

"You didn't call like you said you would."

"No I didn't." He shook his head, looking appropriately bashful. "Work got away from me and then I guess, well," He chuckled. "I got scared." He shrugged simply. "I figured that you would turn me down if I tried."

She wanted to shake her head and tell him to take a hike but Rosalie was supposed to buy his ridiculous act.

She popped her hip and played with a strand of hair, leaning lazily against the doorframe.

"I _suppose_ I could forgive you." She sighed, looking up to the ceiling. "The rose is beautiful." She smiled. "And I know how work is. Sometimes I don't hear from Daddy for months because he's working."

"So you understand." He nodded encouragingly, reaching for her hands.

"I do." She replied with a sigh.

"Excellent. Are you ready to go?"

He asked, holding out his arm to her. She thought of Steve and Sharon in the room behind her and shook her head.

"No, I still have a few more things to do."

"I'll wait for you then. Are you going to invite me in? It would be rude not to." His eyebrow rose. He tried to peer behind her so she took a step back.

"I'd say sorry but you're rude for assuming I'd be ready." She quipped, turning her back on him. "Looking this good takes time, Marcus." She flashed him a flirty smile over her shoulder, watching as he crossed the threshold.

"Well the benefit is starting now, I didn't think you'd be too late." He shut the door behind her, making her nerves kick up a notch. She reminded herself that Arthur, Steve and Sharon were just next-door and took a steadying breath.

"You ever hear of arriving fashionably late?" She smiled, heading for the bathroom. "Make yourself comfortable." She waved her hand "I'm just going to finish my makeup." She smiled and went into the bathroom, glad that she'd left the contact camera and her earpiece in there.

She jumped a mile when she realised Steve was right behind the door. She snapped it shut behind her and breathed out, leaning against the cool wood.

"Steve!"

"You ok?" He asked, his hand's gripped tightly around his gun.

"Bit unexpected but we'll deal." She nodded, moving to the sink to get her earpiece. She pressed it on and pushed it deep into her ear. "Arthur?"

"Arthur, she's got the earpiece." Steve whispered into his own earpiece. There was a crackle in Rory's ear and then Arthur's voice rang through loud and clear.

" _Reading you loud and clear, love."_

"How the _hell_ did he find me? I thought my room was _private_." She said, from between clenched teeth. She turned to Steve, finding him closer than he had been a moment ago. "Where's Sharon?" She asked, leaning into him a little more, if only to feel his warmth.

"Your closet. We couldn't cross back over the room without him seeing us." Steve explained.

"Well I doubt he'll go looking in there." Rory shook her head. He was watching her with such intensity that she could practically feel it on her skin. "I'll be fine, Steve."

"You sure?"

"Yes. I promise." She smiled and patted the side of his face gently before looking at the last piece of tech on the counter. She didn't fail to miss the way his arm wrapped protectively around her waist as he stood beside her.

"I'm gonna put the contacts in now. Stand by." She said to Arthur and picked up the Stark Industries box. They were a new piece of tech, created by Tony, which allowed the team to see everything that she saw in real time. They fitted right on her eye like a contact lens and the small cameras were also able to flick into night vision and heat vision. If they weren't under pressure right now, she'd be impressed.

Steve hovered over her shoulder as she gently put the contacts in her eye.

"You getting the feed, Arthur?"

" _Hold on one minute love…"_ There was a crackle of static in her eye and she swore. " _There. Gottchya. Can see everything_."

"Jesus Christ that hurt." She bitched, blinking her eyes open and shut to get rid of the sting. Steve took her face in his hands gently and peered into her eyes.

"Can't see them at all."

" _I can see your ugly mug, Rogers._ " Arthur sounded delighted. " _Give her a good luck kiss from me and send her on her way. That guy isn't going to stay waiting for long and he might think it's a little suspicious that Rosalie has a tall, blonde and handsome in her bathroom_."

Rory shook her head and smiled, placing her hands on Steve's. "I'll be fine." She promised. "You've got my back."

Steve drew her face up and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Always, Sweetheart." He nodded, letting her go and stepping back.

She went to the door. "Still look ok?" She asked him, turning to look at him over her shoulder.

"Beautiful." He nodded. She sucked in a deep breath and turned the handle. "You're always beautiful." Her heart jumped as she stepped out and closed it firmly behind her.

"I heard swearing, where you ok?" Marcus asked as soon as she reentered the small living area of her suite. He was sprawled out on the sofa, a tabloid magazine in his hand.

"Just trying to get some contacts in my eyes." She smiled. She picked up her clutch. "Shall we?"

He stood, flipping through the last pages of the magazine.

"There's a girl in here who looks so similar to you." He held open a page for her to look at. Her heart thudded to an abrupt stop. The page held several enlarged pictures of her and Steve on the 4th of July on Spectacle Island. They were blurry, taking from long range and she waved a hand.

"I would never dare to go be a redhead." She said snottily and pulled the magazine from his hands. "Nor would I be caught dead in Boston. Yuck." She dropped it on the table and held out her arm.

"You have a point and dare I say you look absolutely lovely this evening?" He threaded his arm through hers and lead them to the door.

"Thank you." She nodded her head demurely. "You scrub up very well yourself." She added, kissing his cheek for effect.

She listened to him chatter about what to expect by accompanying him to this kind of thing as they made their way through the hotel. Mostly it was hot air on his behalf and she struggled to follow along with what he was saying.

Once inside, he dragged her from person to person and the longer it went on the more she felt like a trophy for a middle aged man to boast about to his friends.

"He's older than I expected _._ " Steve said to Sharon after a while, between translating the Italian that Rory wasn't fluent in.

"The older they are the more they like us." Sharon replied, her eyes not leaving the screen. "She's young and beautiful. Perfect midlife crisis material."

"Has he popped up on SHIELD's radar before now?"

"Just once before and that was when we were in Monaco." Sharon shook her head, glancing at the file. "Why's that?"

"He looks familiar, thought I might have seen him somewhere else." Steve rubbed the back of his head. It was a feeling similar to forgetting a word. He could see it, taste it, touch it… but he'd be damned if he could remember what _it_ was. It sat on the forefront of his mind, just out of reach and niggled him. Teased him.

"People love you Rosalie." Marcus smiled down at Rory when they were finally alone. He leant forward and pressed a brash kiss against her lips, lingering longer than she would have liked.

She fixed her expression into one of delighted surprise. "I'm glad I'm making a good impression on your friends." She smiled, relaxing into his hold as best she could.

"Only some of them are my friends." He smiled like he'd made a joke. "Come, let me get you a drink. You can tell me all about where you've been these past few months. You haven't been far from my mind you know."

He grabbed a flute of champagne off of the tray that Arthur was whisking past. He handed it to her.

"And yet, you didn't call once." She couldn't help but make the jab. His eyes flashed.

"I already told you that business came up."

"So you were in Germany?" She asked, ignoring his expression.

"That's where my business is based, yes, but I've been all over." He nodded. "Have you ever been?"

"To Germany?" Rory shook her head. "Once." She admitted. "My German is terrible and I've never thought about going. I found myself in Amsterdam one weekend but it was an accident." She grinned. "I have been thinking about going if you'd like to be my tour guide?"

Marcus' smile widened and he pulled her closer. "I think that can be arranged. Just let me know when and I'll be there." Rory smiled, nodded and took a sip of the champagne.

"So tell me, what lead you to Los Angeles?" Marcus asked with a light smile, asking after the story she'd fed him about where she'd been. His hand rested in the small of her back and he led her to the side of the room with wide, floor to ceiling windows that overlooked Milan.

"My friend's birthday. She wanted a beach party and California was her choice. I was only there for a week." She replied, making up her story on the fly. It wasn't a question she'd thought he would ask but it looked like small talk was on the menu right now.

"How lovely. I was never one for the beach myself. Too much sun never did me any good." He chuckled, gesturing to his pale skin and scar over his eye. "I was always more fond of the East Coast than the West. So much more history and culture on the east, particularly around Boston." Rory stiffened at the mention of her hometown. "Have you ever been to Boston, Rosalie?"

She swallowed another sip of champagne. "No. Never. I said that before." She lied. "I've been to New York for a few fashion weeks. Boston has nothing of interest to me."

"It is a very patriotic place." He assured her and she nodded.

"I suppose. I'm impartial to Americans. I found them loud, rude and obnoxious at the best of times." She dismissed the subject.

" _Careful sweetheart,"_ Steve chuckled in her ear. " _We're not all like that_."

" _Beg to differ_." Arthur replied, snorting.

She struggled not to smile, both at the pet name and the indignant tone of Steve's voice.

"Oh believe me, I know. Did you see the news about the _superheroes_?" Marcus scoffed, his eyes rolling dramatically. "Trust the Americans to think they need to be the ones to defend the Earth. Not the first time, mind. They had the great Captain America in the 40s."

"Yes. So I've heard." Rory nodded. "I don't agree with it. It looked to me they did more damage in New York than anything else."

"Ah you and I my dear. We think the same." Marcus leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. The kiss was slight and lingering and it wasn't half bad. He pulled away before she could.

She let out a breath and raised her hand to the scar down his eye. "Where did you get that scar?" She asked, drawing her finger down it.

His hand raised and cupped her hand against his face. "I was in a car accident. Many years ago now." His lips flickered in a smile.

Steve frowned as he watched the face on the monitor. The scar. Steve sat forward, his mind racing. It couldn't be him. SHIELD would have picked up on him before now. He didn't fully understand but he knew enough to know there was fancy technology that could read faces and match them up.

Surely they would have matched _that_ one up.

"Tell me about yourself, Rosalie." He glanced around. "Any siblings?"

"No." She shook her head. "Only child."

"Oh?" He raised his eyebrow in question. "I was told you had two brothers and a sister?"

"No, not me." Rory swallowed hard and shook her head, keeping her face passive "I was the accidental child in my parents life. My mother was too young and my father was never there. Tragic I suppose but I had everything I ever asked for." She shrugged a shoulder. "Who told you that?" She raised an eyebrow, looking back at Marcus' watery blue eyes.

"A man who said he knew you. I believe his name was Grant. Did you have any pets?"

Rory felt fear spike up her spine and glanced around for Arthur, finding him near by serving some more food. His eyes were on her and they were sharp and alert. He was wary about where this conversation was going.

"I… I had a cat named Marie." She replied, her voice wavering slightly. Grant was her brother. That couldn't be a coincidence, could it?

"Oh I was never a cat person." Marcus shook his head. "I always wanted a Golden Retriever and I wanted to call him Biscuit." He smiled and Rory almost gasped audibly.

" _What the fuck?_ " Arthur swore down the line. Someone said something to him in Italian and he was cut off.

A sick feeling crept into her stomach. It was her gut instincts screaming at her to get out. He knew who she was. He knew about her family, her dog, where she was from. Her cover was compromised and she had to think of a way to get out of there, fast.

Back in the suite, Steve and Sharon sat forward with a start. "Do you get the impression he knows something he shouldn't?" Sharon asked, his eyes taking in every aspect of both Rory's and Arthur's contact cameras.

" _What are the chances that what he's saying is a coincidence?_ " Arthur asked them both.

"Coincidences don't exist in this world." Steve murmured. His gut was clenched so tight he figured he could swallow coal and shit diamonds. There was something off about this whole scenario, something not quite right. He knew too much about Rory. He knew that it was her he was sure of it.

The face looked back down the camera at them was one that was eerily familiar but he couldn't place where from. The scar down the side of his face was the only thing he could look at.

He closed his eyes as he listened to the small talk that Rory was making. He could hear the wavering in her voice, ever so slight and only detectable if you knew her well.

"Can you capture the image of his face, Sharon?"

"Yeah, of course. Why?" She asked, tapping the keys easily.

"Just send it to Dum Dum for me. Your Uncle." He ignored her question, holding his breath and praying he was wrong.

" _What the bloody hell is going on here?"_ Arthur hissed down the line. " _He's definitely bringing up things about Rory's life, Rogers. We need to pull the plug now!_ "

"Trust me," Steve shook his head as he picked up his cell. "This isn't a coincidence, Arthur. Keep your eyes on Aurora at all times. That's a direct order." He barked back to Arthur before he took his earpiece out. He pressed the phone to that ear and stood, needing to pace.

Dugan picked up after three rings. "Rogers! I thought you were on a mission?"

"I am, Dugan but I need you to check your emails." He worried his nail between his teeth as he watched Rory talk to Marcus. His stomach was in knots and he hoped that he was completely and utterly wrong.

" _What am I looking for?"_ Dugan asked. Steve could hear him opening doors, and then his chair creaking.

"You'll know it when you see it. God I hope I'm wrong, Tim." His voice came out small and breathless, his eyes still on the screens. Arthur's monitor suddenly filled with the torso of another waiter, who appeared to be ordering Arthur back into the kitchen and Steve flicked his eyes to Rory's screen, watching as she continued to talk to Marcus.

" _Tim? Rogers, you never call me Tim. What is going on?"_

"Have you opened the file?"

" _It's opening_."

"God Tim, I'm so sorry. Please tell me I'm wrong." Steve swallowed and closed his eyes. There was silence on the other end of the line. A silence so dead that Steve wondered if Dugan had passed out.

Then there was a growl.

" _You better explain to me what the bloody hell is going on,"_

"He's the mark. Rory's mark from that mission she was assigned in Monaco. His name is Marcus Evanier, he's a German banker but he's not really Marcus Evanier is he?" Steve swallowed. Jasper was watching him now, his expression full of concern.

" _That is Helmut Zemo. He killed my son and his wife and you're telling me that's the guy my little girl is after?"_

"I'll get her out safe, Tim I swear to you. I'll get her out."

" _You better Rogers, or there will be hell to pay_."

The line went dead and Steve threw himself into the seat beside Sharon.

"We have to get them out of there, Sharon." Steve stuck his earpiece back into his ear.

* * *

Rory was scared as she stood beside Marcus, listening to him tell her a story about a woman he met on a recent trip to D.C. Her name had been Maggie and she'd been sitting on a park bench outside a law firm, smiling widely because she'd just found out she was pregnant and didn't know who to tell first.

He'd spoken to her sister.

He had been face to face with her sister.

There was no way that was a coincidence, that he could rattle off this much information about her in one hit. He was baiting her, trying to make it look like a coincidence.

Coincidences didn't exist in this world.

"That's… that's lovely." She nodded, blinking. She felt like she was going to be sick. Like at any moment everything that was in her stomach was going to escape her stomach and pour down the front of the light blue Vivienne Westwood gown that she'd been stuffed into. "You were a complete stranger and she told you before her family."

"She was shocked and surprised." Marcus nodded, his eyes watching her carefully. "I thought it was lovely."

"I suppose her family might not be so happy if they found out."

" _Aurora, Sweetheart, I need you to listen to me. Find a way to excuse yourself and get out of there now,"_ Steve's voice was in her ear, smooth and steady but tinged with fear. She sucked in a deep breath to steady herself. _"Go to the bathroom. I need you to leave now."_

"Would you… would you excuse me. I need the ladies." She smiled at Marcus, turning to walk away from him.

His hand found her wrist.

"Not so fast, Agent _Dugan_."

"You know me." Rory turned to him, meeting his eyes with her own.

Steve almost put his fist through the table. " _Arthur! Where the hell are you!?"_ He snapped his eyes onto Arthur monitor and his stomach dropped from underneath him.

" _Yeah, little busy mate…._ " Arthur replied as seven very tall and very broad men crowded around him with a various assortment of weapons. " _Surrounded by these clowns_."

Rory heard the exchange and her heart raced. Arthur wasn't coming. They knew he was with her.

"Oh yes, I know you better than you think." Marcus chuckled, pulling Rory back toward his body. His lips found the ear her earpiece was in and he pressed his lips against it. "I know you, I know your team and I have known you for a very long time."

Rory shivered and tried to pull away from him.

"Ah, uh. I'm still talking." He held her in a vice grip, the tip of a hidden blade pressing into her ribs. She sucked in a breath as he continued to talk. "I didn't recognize you at first. Why would I? You were just a tiny baby the last time I saw you." He pushed her away from him and smiled, the scar pulling his face in a way that made him look madly derranged. His ice blue eyes bore into hers, seeming to glowing with delight. They were an image she wouldn't forget for a very long time.

Rory frowned as his words processed slowly in her mind.

"A baby?" She blinked in confusion.

"Quite." He nodded. He tapped the scar. "The night I met you was the night I slammed my car into your parents car so I could take them and make your dear grandfather suffer. I made him watch as I killed your father. I made you watch when I sliced up your mother. I killed them."

This time she did gasp out loud and Steve shot to his feet.

"We need to get down there." He ordered Sharon.

"Already on it." Sharon nodded, slamming all the equipment shut. She took out her gun before she cleared the desk and shoved everything into the bathroom. "I've sent for an extraction, they'll take care of it." She said over her shoulder as they made for the door.

The two threw themselves out of the room and into the hall, bypassing the elevator to hurtle down the stairs. "You get Arthur, get him to a safe house. I'll meet you there with Rory, got it? Do _not_ wait for us." Steve ordered as they ran.

"Yes sir." Sharon saluted a little before she peeled off in search of the kitchens.

" _Sweetheart I'm coming, ok? Everything is going to be just fine_."

Rory heard Steve talking in her ear and wished he wouldn't stop.

This man killed her parents. Her dreams weren't figments, they were real. This man was the reason they'd died. She'd been lied to her whole life. The world was spinning around her, faster and faster until she felt like she was going to –

"Alright, there I got you."

Her body dropped into Marcus' waiting arms. People around them let out cries on concern, but he expertly assured them that she was fine and just needed air. They let him pass without a second thought. He pulled her easily into the corridor and propped her up against the wall.

His hand closed around her chin and made her look right into his eyes.

"Everything you know about your parents death is a lie." Marcus whispered, just loud enough for her to hear him. He brought his face close to hers, so close she could feel his breath on her lips. To any passer by they looked like a young couple in love. "I couldn't believe it when I was told who you were. Madam Hydra was so delighted to inform me that SHIELD knew who I was and I was even more delighted than to find out that my Rosalie was _actually_ Aurora Dugan." His voice was soft, caressing her insides like the music of her nightmares.

"I hit the jackpot. What are the odds that _you_ , the baby girl that was my bargaining chip with your grandfather, would be the one to tail me?" He leant down and pressed a kiss to her lips. "Almost a perfect zero." He whispered, his fingers tightening on her cheeks. "But here we are and boy, do I have plans for you. I can finally finish my father's life work. Your blood holds the key we need…"

Rory's mind raced and she stood against the wall frozen in shock. This wasn't something she factored into the mission. She didn't know how to deal with this. She didn't know what to do. This man killed her parents, he killed them and now he was going to kill –

"Step away from the lady, now."

Rory snapped to attention when she heard Steve's voice, her eyes coming to focus on him. Marcus looked around lazily, dropping his hand to her neck.

"She's my girlfriend, nothing to see – " He paused before he straightened, recognition sparking in his features. "Ahhh! The living legend himself: Captain America. I wasn't expecting you here. This _is_ a bonus."

"Aurora, are you ok?" He called out, ignoring Zemo for now. She found his eyes and nodded, not knowing if she could form a coherent sentence. "Let her go, _Helmut_."

Marcus' eyes widened in shock and then glee. " _You_ know who I am."

"I do." Steve nodded. "She has nothing to do with what happened to your father, so let her go."

"Mmm, I could let her go." Marcus nodded, running his hand down Rory's face. Steve gritted his teeth and moved closer. A hidden blade flicked out of Marcus' sleeve and in one movement he pulled her back to his front and held it to her throat. She whimpered softly and closed her eyes. "Or I could kill her for trying to fool me. I could kill her for so many reasons and all of them would be so much fun."

"Let her go. She was doing her job." Steve pulled up short and held his hands up.

"She was, which is why I would kill anyone, but this is something I'm going to savor." Marcus chuckled. He brought his lips to her skin again and she shivered violently. "I'll slit her throat and watch the blood seep into the carpet, just like I did with her darling mother." Marcus tongue found her ear and he licked the shell softly. "You look just like her you know. So beautiful, so young." He sniffed her skin, his breath hot. She shivered violently again. "Or maybe I'll keep her to play with. It's been such a long time since I had something to play with."

Rory's ears rang and she swallowed hard. She had to do something. She had to get herself out of this. Steve couldn't move or Marcus would cut her. The blade was already pressing into her skin hard enough to draw a small ruby of blood.

"Just let her go –"

"Put the gun down, Captain. She is _mine_." His voice was lazy, like he thought he'd won.

There was no way he would win.

Rory let out a cry as the blade bit into her flesh a little harder. Steve's hands went to the air by his head, the clip of his gun sliding out. It landed on the floor with a thud that echoed in Rory's head.

"That's better." Marcus said in a hushed voice. "You know, I'm surprised by you Agent Dugan. I was told you were one of the best yet here you are, scared and crying ad waiting for Captain America to save –"

Rory threw her weight down while he was distracted, kicking her legs out in front of her. Marcus let out a grunt as she slipped from his arms, her hand clawing around the one with the knife at her throat. She twisted and felt a crack as his wrist broke, the knife falling to the floor. It gave her enough time to shove him away from her.

Steve lunged forward, and yanked her behind his body. Marcus righted himself, giving no warning as he lunged for the two of them. The German swung at Steve, who dodged left before delivering a powerful blow to the side of the banker's jaw.

Marcus crumpled in a heap, unconscious and bleeding. Steve turned and cupped Rory's face in his hands. "Are you ok?" He tilted her head up, inspecting the thin slice along her neck.

"Fine." She muttered, wiping it with the back of her hand. He didn't let her move and her eyes met his for a second. " _Steve –"_

"Are you ok?" Her eyes were dull and glassy and he thought she might be going into shock.

" _C'mon_ , there's no time for this we gotta go." She tugged her head from his hands and then linked their fingers.

They raced down the corridor toward the elevators. They heard yelling behind them and they paused.

"That's not good."

"Run." Rory hissed, grabbing his hand tightly before she wrenched open the stairwell doors. Shouts came after them and the two bounded up the stairs away from the noise.

When they heard yelling on the stairs behind them, Steve pulled the first heavy stairwell door they came to with so much force that it dented the wall behind. He pushed her through in front of him.

They continued to run until Steve pulled her to a stop and busted the lock on a random room. It was a supply closet, small and cramped and he pulled her inside to hide.

"Arthur, speak to me." Rory hissed into her earpiece. She glanced at Steve when she received no response. "We didn't make it back to the room. They know we'd go there…" She paused when she heard muffled yelling.

"They're checking every room." Steve said, his ear pressed against the door.

Rory swore loudly and pinched her nose. A plan started forming in her mind.

"How close do you think?"

"Too close."

She worried on her lip for a second before she wrenched the wig off. She tossed on a shelf and shook her hair free from the netting.

"Give me your jacket." She demanded, pushing it off of his shoulder before even waiting for his response.

"What? Why?" He asked, shrugging his brown leather jacket off the rest of the way.

Rory wrapped it around her shoulders and gathered up her skirts. She reached around an unzipped her dress, letting the back fall open like she was in a state of undress.

"Unzip your pants, Steve." She said, reaching for his belt.

" _Why?_ " He asked in surprise, jerking away from her hands. "Aurora, I don't understand-"

"They're going to check in here and all they're going to find is a red headed woman and a man halfway through fucking." Her eyes blazed as she slapped his hands away. "It'll get them off our tail for a minute. Please trust me?" She managed to get his belt undone and he undid the top button.

The noise outside was getting louder and he hastily shoved his pants down his thighs.

Rory reached back and opened the door slightly before she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"We're going to have to make this believable."

"Just like the beach, right?" He joked weakly before he cupped her thighs in his hands and pulled her up against his hips. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he steadied them.

"Right." She nodded, looking into his eyes. He'd known something about who that man was and he hadn't told her. Her memory flickered back to the 3rd, when she'd found him having a serious conversation with Pa in his study.

Her temper flared but she squashed it. She didn't have time for anger right now. They needed to get out alive.

"Kiss me, Steve." She murmured, dropping her head.

"Yes, ma'am." He replied before he kissed her with such intensity that her ears rang for a moment. He tasted like mint and her tongue slid over his easily. She moaned loudly, rocking her hips against his. He pushed back in return and his fingers dug into her skin.

She brushed against his hard length and she let out a delicious moan that had him sweating. He couldn't help the moan that escaped his own lips after that.

The sound sent a chill up her spine and fuelled the ache in her core. She was so wet, she could feel it and she knew this was the most risky thing she'd ever done, but it could save their lives… they were fucked if it didn't work.

The door burst open as Rory moved against Steve. She screamed, burying her face in his chest and Steve let out a yell in the direction of the door, playing the part of disgruntled man interrupted mid-fuck. Rory was impressed to hear he yelled out in Italian, making their cover just that little bit more authentic.

Someone swore in German and then they left, continuing to yell loudly all the way along the hall.

Rory let out a breath she'd been holding and wriggled out of his hands.

"C'mon we don't have much time." She urged, reaching around to zip her dress up again.

"It worked." Steve choked out as he gasped for breath. She nodded, tossing him his shirt and pants.

"Yeah, it did." Her head was spinning from adrenalin and she took a second to suck in a deep breath.

"Good work." He said, his voice gruff. He wasn't looking at her, his hands were pinching the flesh of his hips, hard enough that even in the dim light she could see the marks his nails left on his skin.

"Thanks." She murmured. "You ok?"

Steve turned and glanced at her, the hungry look back in his eye. "Yeah, fine. Just…" He cleared his throat and glanced down at the hardness she could definitely see straining his red boxer briefs. "Gimmie a minute, that was quite a show."

She swallowed and tore her eyes away. "I'd say sorry but I think I just saved our asses." She muttered with a small smirk.

The fire had been lit now and she wanted to know what he was like for real. It had been the beach all over again, the night she'd kissed him in the sand and his hands had brushed against her skin, teasing her and making her want more and more.

Now she'd been close again and she _needed_ to feel it. She'd forgotten how demanding the ache could be. It was only his voice that pulled her from all the thoughts of the things she could be doing.

"We need to get out of here." He said finally, turning around. He was buckling his pants back around his waist, trying to get his head on straight. If he didn't, he would definitely grab that woman and fuck her so hard she would see stars for a month.

God he wanted that so badly, had wanted that for a while but didn't want to overstep the boundary of friendship.

 _Now seems like a pretty good time to overstep it._

He hissed as he dug his nails into the flesh of his hips, willing the images of her semi-naked chest away so his erection would go down. He heard the elevator ding as it reached their floor and he grabbed her hand.

"We make a run for the elevator." He urged, glancing at her as he listened for the sound of Hydra agents still looking for them.

"Yes." She agreed, looking away from him. Her head was slipping into a bad place and she didn't know how to deal with everything going on in her mind. She cleared her throat as he tugged on her.

He ushered Rory through the door, down the hall and into the elevator where they were able to stop and breathe for a moment once the doors slid closed.

"Do you think we'll make it out?" Rory asked, looking up at Steve. Her mind was racing, all the information she'd attained tonight whirling through her mind and only a small portion of it was pleasant.

 _He wants you_. That portion teased. _He was all hot and bothered for you. Look at how he's looking at you…_

Her breath caught in her throat as she glanced up and found him looking at her again. She stepped toward him involuntarily, her lips parting. She wanted to kiss him. She was going to kiss him. She –

The elevator doors dinged as they opened a the next floor and Steve lunged at her, pressing her back into the cold, hard mirror on the elevator wall. He was kissing her, fast and hard like there was no tomorrow. Her heart beat so violently in her ears that she only barely caught the chuckles of whoever who had gotten into the elevator. She rolled her hips against his as his hands threaded into her hair. He felt her moan against his tongue, which was somehow dancing between his teeth. It was fast and hard and so incredibly sexy that he could barely function.

When the people got off, Steve pulled away slowly, pressing his forehead against hers to suck in some deep breaths.

"I'm sorry, I… they were… I figured…" His apology came out as a stammer. He stepped back from her, taking in the sight of her breathless and swollen lipped against the wall. The groan ripped from behind his teeth before he could stop it.

"No. No it's fine. Now we're even." Rory breathed out, running a shaky hand through her hair. "C'mon, we should get off of the elevator anyway, in case the next time it actually is whoever's after us."

She took his hand and felt the tremble there too. Her lips tingled from his touch and her head swam. They stepped out of the elevator and into the hall.

Steve watched as she walked in front of him, his eyes trailing down to her backside wanting to touch and taste every inch of her flesh.

Gunshots rang out again and he yanked her behind his body, his mind instantly cleared from the thoughts of her.

"STAIRWELL NOW!" He bellowed, shoving her toward the door. He took out his gun and fired twice before following her.

Down and around the stairs they went, Zemo's people hot on their tails. Steve hissed as a bullet grazed his side but he kept running, ignoring the pain. His only focus was to get Aurora safely out of the hotel. He kept his body between her and them as they ran.

Rory burst out of the door into the underground parking lot and pulled out her gun. She spun on her heel and took an agent behind them without blinking. Steve took care of the other two with a shot each to the chest.

"There'll be more coming." He muttered as turned to her, watching as she gripped her gun tightly. She was hotter than he'd ever seen, a steely look in her eye coupled with a smoking gun. He wanted to kiss her again and never stop.

"Car. _Now_." She agreed with a slight nod. Steve pulled the keys out and heard an engine rev. "We have company." Rory breathed, as he unlocked the doors to a SHIELD sedan. She threw herself into the passenger seat as Steve got behind the wheel and took off without looking back.

A black sports car followed them as they peeled into the city streets.

"Gotta lose him, Cap." Rory said, trying to calm her voice as she craned her neck to look back.

"Working on it." He nodded as he skidded around a tight corner. He didn't remember Milan being this tight back in the 40s. The streets seemed smaller and more closed in now and it was difficult to get enough speed up to shake their tail. Rory fiddled with the heads up display and suddenly an arrow appeared on the windshield in front of him.

"It'll tell us the way to a safehouse on the outskirts of the city." She explained before turning in her seat again.

"Sharon and Arthur will be waiting." He grunted, turning left when told him to.

"Only one car behind us." Rory made the observation. "I don't think there're any more. We're probably being tracked via satellite and they'll get us when we stop." She picked up her gun and slammed a new clip into it. "Keep the car steady." She ordered. Steve glanced over in time to see her slide her body out of the window. He swore, reaching over to hook his hand behind her knee so she didn't fall out of the car.

Rory lifted her arms and slowed her breathing. Of all the things Aurora Dugan could do, her marksmanship was by far her greatest asset. Dugan had taught her at an early age and she'd surpassed even him early on.

She steadied her arms on the roof, took aim and squeezed the trigger three times.

The first bullet cracked the glass of the black car following them. The second shattered it. The third went through the drivers' head and out the other side. Hat trick, tail neutralized as easy as breathing.

The car veered violently to the right before it slammed into a building and exploded in a spectacular array of orange flames and black smoke.

Satisfied, she slid back into the car, dropping her gun to her lap.

"That was a little more than impressive." Steve commented as he shifted gears. He hadn't seen that side of her before and it both scared him and turned him off.

"I learned from the best."

He nodded and they fell silent.

Rory picked up her phone and dialled Arthur's number.

" _You're alright?_ "

"We're fine. We had a tail. Heading for the safehouse now. Are you there?"

 _"Negative, love. We had more than we could handle so we picked them off but we were followed. Head for safehouse 761 on the other side of the city_." He ordered.

Rory let out a groan. " _Arthur_." She reached over and changed the GPS coordinates. "Are you ok?"

" _We're fine, love. I promise."_

She'd to chew him out about changing the plan later for now was not the time. "Did the extraction get the equipment?" She asked, not knowing what else to say.

" _The team was in and out in under 10. Do you have anyone on your tail?"_

"Negative. I neutralized them."

Arthur chuckled. " _Of course you did. Stay safe. We'll be in touch._ "

"Stay safe, both of you."

She bid them a goodbye and clicked off. "Arthur and Sharon are – "

"I heard." Steve nodded. Rory turned and looked at him, finding him holding his side and wincing.

"Are you ok?" She asked.

"Are you?" He said, turning to look at her. His hand came back up to the wheel.

She fell silent at that, looking away from him. She honestly didn't know what she felt right now, which she took as a good thing. She couldn't focus on her job when her mind was a mess and she was afraid that if she thought to hard about all she'd learned then she'd spiral into a panic that she wouldn't pull out from.

As it was, thoughts still flooded her mind. Her parents hadn't just died in a car accident – they'd been murdered for revenge against her Pa and she'd been in the baby seat. Her nightmares weren't a figment, they were fucking real and she'd been lied to her entire life. Her dreams were real. The blood. The screaming. She'd been –

"This is it." Steve murmured, breaking into her thoughts as he pulled the car into a garage that opened automatically for them. Rory nodded and once they were inside she threw herself out of the car and into the safe house without looking back.

Steve sucked in a deep breath. His blood was boiling. Between the hotel room and the kiss in the elevator his hormones were on fire – heightened that much more by the serum in his veins and her lethal sharp shooting.

He was struggling to keep it together but he needed to for Aurora's sake.

* * *

Author's Note:

Im sorry this is ended where it was. I had to split it though so I promise the next chapter will be out in a day to not leave you hanging.

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think! Thanks for reading!

Playlist:

Silent Running - Hidden Citizens

Don't Let Me Go - Raign

Firestarter - The Prodigy


	21. Occupied Mind

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 21: Occupied Mind

* * *

He found her in the kitchen, pacing the tiles like a caged animal. He watched her for a few moments before he spoke.

"Aurora?" He said softly. She was cracking. He could see it happening before his eyes and he wanted to help her, he just didn't know what to say.

"What?" She snapped, her eyes shooting daggers at him.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm fine." She snapped again, scowling and bringing her nail up to her mouth to chew. "I'm absolutely fucking fine. So fine that I'm just… I'm fine." There was a hysterical edge to her voice and she cut herself off.

She sucked in a deep breath, closing her eyes.

When they opened again Steve saw that his happy and vibrant girl was gone, replaced by someone who was all business and no smiles. A SHIELD agent with a one track mind: finish the mission and then have an issue.

"You're bleeding." She pointed to him and he looked down.

A bright red stain had bloomed on the side of his shirt and he lifted it to look. Blood oozed from the wound that was deeper than he'd originally thought.

"Fuck." He murmured, dropping the shirt again. "It's ok." He shook his head. "Flesh wound."

"C'mon, there's a first aid kit in the bathroom." She motioned to him, disappearing down the hall.

The bathroom light flicked on and revealed the small bathroom.

"Sit." She ordered as she grabbed the box of medical supplies off the top of the toilet. She put the lid down and pointed.

He did without arguing. He knew enough about women to know that when they were hysterical and pissed off, he did what they ask.

He slipped his shirt over his head and Rory couldn't help the sharp intake of breath as she marvelled over his chest. She'd seen it before, she'd touched it before but she would never, ever, get over how perfect it was.

She shook her head as she fought the urge to let out a moan at the sight and zoned in on the flesh wound in his side. She had shit to do and none of it included Steve. Her mind was a warzone right now, every thought she had another land-mine to tip her over the edge. She needed to concentrate on Steve and his wound. She took out the antiseptic and applied it to a cotton bud. She knelt down between his legs, ignoring his sharp intake of breath and her own thudding heartbeat.

"It's just a graze." She murmured as she started cleaning the blood from the edges. He hissed and tensed, the hard planes of his abs jutting out toward her.

"I know. Fuck that's cold." He muttered. She blinked up at him and half smiled.

"That's twice I've heard you say fuck in a matter of minutes."

"It's been a rough night." He waved a hand. She snorted but didn't outright laugh.

She tended to his wound, her body still humming from the adrenalin of the night.

Rough wasn't the right word for it. Brutal fit well. With all that she'd learned tonight she'd felt like she'd been to hell and back. Her parents had been murdered. They'd been tortured and murdered and it had been covered up. She didn't understand why it had been covered up; had it been her grandparents? Had it been SHIELD? Who would _do_ that? Zemo had come so close to taking her as well. That was his aim. He wanted her so he could carry on some kind of life work? The small spike wound on her neck stung like an ant bite, a sharp reminder how close she's come to having it slashed earlier.

She could feel her breathing coming out in short, sharp gasps and it wasn't until she had tried and failed to place the patch of gauze straight on Steve's stomach not once, not twice but three times that she realised she was on the verge of a full blown panic attack.

Her hands shook and she blinked back tears as she gulped for breath.

"Hey, sweetheart, come on." Steve's voice soothed as she slid to the floor in front of him. "Head between your knees and breath slowly. In and out. You're ok now. He can't get you, not with me around. I promise." His hand smoothed over her back as she gulped the air into her lungs. She shook her head.

Marcusn – _Zemo –_ , getting to her wasn't the problem; the problem was her parents had been murdered and she had no idea _why_.

"How long have you known?" She managed to gasp out, not bothering to look at him. It was a stab in the dark but she had a feeling that he'd known.

"Dugan told me the day before my birthday. He blames himself." Steve replied honestly, guilt tainting his tone.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, choking back a sob. She swallowed hard and sucked in a deep breath.

"He told me not to. Never thought it would come up." Steve sighed. He bent forward as far as he could and smoothed her hair. "I'm sorry. I know I should have, but I thought it was something your Pa needed to tell you."

"What happened?" She asked, finally looking up at him. Her amber irises were all the more vibrant thanks to the bloodshot whites of her eyes. His heart broke but he shook his head, no. He shouldn't be the one to tell her this.

"You need to ask your Pa that, it's not my place to tell you."

She closed her eyes then and swore, dropping her head into her hands. He'd known and hadn't told her. Her dreams were real. Sitting in the pool of blood while her mother lay cold and dead beside her actually happened. The laughing. The torture.

Steve's hand smoothed over her back and she shook herself.

Taking three deep breaths, Rory pulled it together. Crying about it wasn't going to fix it. She needed to fix Steve. She pushed herself back into a sitting position so she could finish dressing his wound. Focusing on one thing at a time would help.

"All done." She said in a dull voice as she finished wrapping his torso in the gauze. She packed everything away and braced herself on the edge of the bathtub to stand.

Steve's hand appeared beside her and she took it, letting him pull her to her feet as if she weighed nothing. He held her close, his arms wrapped around her waist and she looked up at him.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" He asked softly, his eyes studying hers intently.

"Way too much." She shook her head. She swallowed, her eyes tracing over his cheeks and his lips. Her own tingled as she remembered what his felt like against hers and she licked them.

Steve loosed a breath, his hands dropping lower on her waist. She rocked her hips into his, feeling him surge against her and she brought her hands up to cup his face. She needed a distraction, something to take her out of her head. It was risky but she wanted to kiss him. Everytime they'd kissed she thought of nothing but him. She wanted that again now. A brain full of Steve seemed a lot better than a brain full of torture and pain and confusion.

"I… think I need you to kiss me again." She murmured softly. "I don't want to think about anything right now."

That was the only confirmation he needed and if she didn't want to think he would make sure she didn't. A growl ripped from Steve's lips before they came crashing down onto hers. She threaded her fingers through his hair and allowed herself to be jerked off her feet.

It was fast and hot and the adrenalin of the night still soared through their veins, fuelling the lust that dampened the air between them. He stood, towering over her and lifted her onto the small sink in a swift move that had her moaning. His hand brushed up her calf and along her thigh before it yanked her dress up around her hips.

His fingers pressed against her core in the next second, rough but at the same time oh so gentle. He pushed her panties aside and swiped up and down her entrance a few times with a finger, spreading her wetness over her folds. Her mouth found his neck, her teeth found skin and she bit down, eliciting a moan from him that had her whole body shaking.

Steve shuddered when he felt her wetness and it took him all of four seconds to drop his pants, pull her to the edge of the sink and thrust into her one smooth movement. Both to let out loud moans as he settled deep inside her.

He paused a moment to let them both accommodate to the new sensation. He stretched her in ways that meant she was going to be deliciously sore for days but she didn't care. Her mind was a void of nothingness and him; how he smelled, tasted, felt, sounded. She was consumed and that's what she wanted. She'd wanted this for a long time now. She moved her hips to urge him on, her mouth finding his again.

Thrusting was sweet agony and he loved the small noises she made against his mouth every time he drove into her. One hand was securely around her waist and the other was at the back of her neck, fusing their mouths together.

It took mere minutes for her to tighten around him in an orgasm that left her seeing stars. He followed in the next minute, thrusting up twice more before groaning and coming harder than he had in a long time.

Breathless sighs were all that was passed between them for a number of minutes, neither wanting to move from the other person's arms. It was over much to soon for Steve's liking but it had felt so fucking good he didn't care. It had been a long time building between them, he thought. Hopefully it wouldn't be the last.

He rested his head against hers and pressed soft, sweet kisses against her mouth and cheeks.

"That clearly wasn't your first time." She panted, dropping her head to nuzzle into his collarbone.

"No, it wasn't." He shook his head, kissing her neck softly. He slid out of her, eliciting a small whimper from her that made him smile. He turned away from her briefly to turn the shower on and when he turned back he reached for the zipper of her dress. "C'mon, shower." He murmured softly, standing her up on boneless legs.

She let him take care of her; stripping off her dress and underwear and stepping them both under the hot jets of water. He washed the trickle of blood from her throat and massaged her neck before he turned the taps off and wrapped her in a towel.

"Are you going to tell me when and how you learned how to do all of that?" She asked as he led her down the hall to the small bedroom at the end.

"Showgirls." He answered as he watched her go to the chest of drawers to find them some clothes.

"Tony totally owes me fifty bucks." She snorted, shaking her head.

"You were betting on my virginity?" Steve asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah." Rory nodded. "I'd kind of hoped the things Pa warned me about were true, that you weren't a total boyscout." She shrugged a shoulder and smirked. "Turns out he was right." She let go of the towel and it dropped to the floor giving him a fantastic view of her naked back and ass.

His cock twitched behind the towel and he dug his nails into his palm to cool it off.

"I'm not a boy scout." Steve rolled his eyes, his ears going red. Rory was quiet for a moment as she pulled on some sweats and then tossed him some of his own.

"Was it Peg?" She asked finally, her voice soft. Her stomach was in knots as she waited for him to respond. There was something inherently weird about having something inside her that had also possibly been inside her grandmother.

"Christ no." He blanched, shaking his head. "No, no I never… not with her. I…" He shook his head and cleared his throat. "Never had the chance. We weren't alone enough and when we were it wasn't for very long. Most we got were kisses and heavy petting."

She nodded, visibly relaxing. "Oh." Strangely, that made her feel a little better. "So who was it?" She faced him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"First girl was a showgirl called Nina Sharp who I'd actually grown up next door to in Brooklyn. She hadn't believed it was me at first."

"Bet she thought all her Christmases had come at once, right?" Rory smirked, her eyes trailing up and down his body again as he balled the shirt up in his hands.

"Something like that." He snorted and nodded. "It was just some fun though, nothing serious. Warm body on a cold night, that kind of thing."

"How many more?"

"A few." He shrugged a shoulder and dropped his hands.

"A few?"

"Yeah. A few. I mean, how many have you had?" He gave her a pointed look.

Rory thought about it a minute.

"A few." She agreed.

"Exactly. The serum made it more difficult. It enhanced everything, so for a while there I had no self control and I was kind of –." He had the decency to look bashful at his words.

"A sex addict." She said playfully.

"No… it was just an initial adjustment." He shook his head. She snorted. He paused before he spoke again. "Look that back there was…"

"Fucking amazing." She breathed before she could stop herself. Her cheeks flushed but she looked him square in the eye. "It was fucking amazing." She said again.

"It was too fast." He countered without thinking, clearing his throat as a blush crossed his skin.

"Sometimes fast is good." She replied with a shrug. It had done it's job. Gotten her out of her head for a few minutes... but he had a point. It was much too fast and she was curious to see what more he knew.

"Slow can be even better." He challenged and her lips twitched.

"Is that so?" She asked, her eyebrow twitching. He smiled playfully, stepping toward her. Her heart skipped a beat.

"Would showing you be overstepping something?" He asked as his shoulders rolled.

Rory's mouth went dry. They'd already fucked, she doubted another round would hurt them too much more. They seemed to be ok too, their dynamic unfazed by what had happened. The question on her lips however was _did he want more_ or was this a one time only deal.

"I have one request." She held up a hand, placing it on his chest as he approached.

"Go ahead." He nodded, his hands coming up to her wrist. He couldn't bear to look away from those mesmerizing amber eyes.

"I don't want things to change." She said slowly.

"Change?"

"Change. Between us." She said again, licking her lips "We stay as friends and it goes no further than tonight."

Steve thought for a moment. He had to admit he had a bit of a crush on the woman in front of him. She'd been nothing but kind and patient and good to him since he'd woken up. She was sassy and vibrant and beautiful to boot.

He'd entertained the idea of asking her on a date and seeing where it led but he knew her well enough to know she wouldn't be interested.

"Asking you on a date would qualify as change, right?" He asked, testing the waters.

Her eyes widened.

"Yes." She said flatly. "I… don't do relationships very well, not after Jason, and I certainly don't want to fuck up what we have as friends because I'm not good at something."

"How do you know you're not good at it if you haven't done it in a while?" Steve countered, smirking. His blue eyes sparkled and he brought her hands up to his lips.

"I just know, ok?" She replied, butterflies eating up her throat as his lips brushed against her knuckles. "Nothing changes and this goes no further, ok?"

Steve shrugged, his teeth grazing her knuckles. He dropped her hands and cupped her face.

"As you wish." He murmured and ducked his head to kiss her.

 _The Princess Bride_ quote made her laugh around his lips but his hands found her thighs again and squeezed, silencing her. She lifted her legs, wrapping them around his waist and she gripped his shoulders tightly.

She moaned as he brought his arms around her back and his arms engulfed her entirely, holding her securely against his bare torso like she weighed nothing.

He moaned, a sweet sound that ripped through her like a bullet. She dug her nails into the nape of his neck, eliciting the moan again and again. His hands found their way under her shirt and his fingers dug into her back.

Steve moved them, walking on autopilot until his knees hit the bed. He dropped them both down on the lumpy mattress, which creaked under their weight, and sat above her. He nibbled the side of her mouth, along her jaw and down her neck, biting and sucking as he went. Her hips came up to meet his and he nuzzled the top of her shirt.

His head lifted, his eyes wide as a thought passed through his mind.

"We didn't use a rubber last time…" He groaned closing his eyes.

"Birth control. I have a thing in my arm…" She rocked her hips against him. "I'm good and clean. I know you are too," He gave her a raised eyebrow look, wondering if she'd thought of doing this before. "It's in your file." She answered his look, reading it easily.

"If you're sure." He murmured, burying his face in her neck again. She laughed and slipped her hand into the waistband of his pants and he rutted against her hand for a few strokes, enjoying the feel of her fingers around him.

He peeled the shirt from her skin and the pants from her waist and kissed a line from her knees to navel, skirting around her sensitive area. She hissed and pushed her hips up against him.

He looked up at her with a devils smirk and she lost her breath. "What?" He asked.

"You know what." She murmured, pressing her hips against him again. She lifted a leg and hooked it over his shoulder, pulling him dead center between her legs. He smirked and dropped his head, flicking his tongue out to taste her.

And fuck she tasted divine.

He licked a path from top to bottom and back again, sucking her lips into his mouth before he pressed his tongue into her over and over again. Her fingers knotted into his hair and she sighed happily, her toes curling. He flattened his tongue against her, savoring the taste and the sound she made when he rubbed over the hard nub of nerve endings at the top of her cunt.

He listened to her breathing, felt the pressure of her fingertips on his scalp and knew the exact moment she came undone in his mouth, her juices wetting his chin and neck.

He sat up as her moans dissipated to pants and she lifted her head.

"Where the fuck did you learn _that_?"

"Showgirl." He replied, resting easily on his arms. He dropped kisses on the line between her hipbones, nuzzling the soft flesh there. " _Her_ name was Carolyn. She was a redhead, like you, and she was bossy."

"Bossy is good."

"Yes, it was." He nodded. He crawled up her body, pressing kisses on her skin, on her chest and on her neck again before he made it to her lips. "So is slow."

"So you keep saying."

There was a draw of breath as he parted her legs with his knee and then he thrust into her, agonisingly slow and so damn perfect that she gasped and her eyes rolled back in her head.

He kept the pace slow and steady and continued to press kisses against her pulse point until she could barely breath. Hips met hips and skin slipped over skin until she was breathing his name against this ear and dragging her nails down his back almost hard enough to break the skin. He crashed over the edge at the same time she did and her walls milked him for all he was worth.

They came down together slowly, his arms around her, their sweat mingling together and the breath leaving as one.

Rory closed her eyes as satisfied as a cat in the winter sun. "Slow was fantastic."

"I'm never wrong."

"Why's that? Because you're Captain America?"

"Why yes ma'am, that's exactly it." He used the voice that he only reserved for his propaganda speech and looked down at her with a big and cheesy grin.

She opened one eye, looked at him and burst into giggles.

"You dork." She shook her head. She was content to stay in his arms like this but she knew she had to move. She let herself get comfortable there, couldn't let him get his feelings tangled with something this wasn't. She rolled onto her back and stared at the roof.

"We can't do this again." She murmured, trying to rearrange her thoughts to be one coherent track.

"I know" Steve breathed out and nodded. "Probably shouldn't tell anyone about it either."

"Definitely not." Rory shook her head. "I don't know how much sway I'd have with Fury and I don't feel like getting transferred out of field because of this, not to mention I've finally finished with Holstein and I don't want to go back to her again…"

"He'd do that?"

"Strictly forbidden to fraternize with other agents – I don't know what the protocol is for Avengers but I don't think it'd be nice for me. I'd have to go see Holstein again to get back in field again and I can't _stand_ the woman. I can't stand to think what she'd do if she knew I'd gotten to you first." She shook her head.

"How do Clint and Natasha get away with it then?" Steve frowned slightly as she sat up. He ignored her jab about Holstein wanting him. That wasn't something he wanted to think about right now.

"Because they can kill Fury in 12 different ways each and no one would ever know. Besides, no one knows for sure if they're seriously fucking or not." Rory replied and Steve snorted. She slipped her shirt over her head and turned to face him, searching for her pants. "Friends, right?"

"Always, sweetheart." He nodded. "You're not getting rid of me just yet."

She smiled and stood, bending to pick up her pants. He admired the view and committed it to memory.

"Good." She said as she straightened. "I don't want to lose you." She paused in the doorway and turned to face him. She committed the sight of him sprawled naked in all his glory on the bed to memory before she spoke. " _So_ how big of a problem is the serum?" He grinned and ran a hand over his re-hardening cock and she flipped him off. "Not what I meant." She groaned, reading his mind that she hadn't realized was so dirty.

"I manage." He said, swinging his legs over the bed. "I can't go for more than a day without, you know…" His cheeks blushed pink, which amused her; but she said nothing. "and it's usually four, sometimes five times a day. I haven't really had a chance lately."

"Which explains you jumping my bones." Rory nodded. She felt better about that explanation.

"You kinda had it coming after kissing me like you did the other night. I'd say sorry but…" He shrugged his shoulder, giving her that roguish grin again.

"Oh enough." She rolled her eyes in amusement. Her phone trilled somewhere in the safe house and it jerked them out of the bubble they'd found themselves in. "Real life calls." She sighed, padding from the room.

Steve watched her go, admiring the view for a moment before he fell back onto the lumpy mattress. "Yeah, real life can beat it." He muttered to himself, listening as she answered the phone.

* * *

Author's Note: Annnnd the moment you've all been waiting for. Hope you enjoyed it. Told you I wouldn't make you wait too long. Tell me what you think in the comments, give me some love and spread the word. I want as many people to read this as possible.

Till next time!

Playlist:

Nicotine - Panic at the Disco

Alone Together - Fall Out Boy

Moan - Cute is What We Aim For

*I have more to add here but I have time constraints today. Will update soon!


	22. Let Our History Repeat

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 22:

* * *

"We're only trying to make sure you're ok, Agent Dugan." Doctor Holstein insisted again for the fifth time in the half an hour Rory had been sitting in the seat across from the woman.

When the debriefing had finally happened and Arthur, Sharon and Steve had all reported exactly what Zemo had said in regards to Rory's parents, Fury had suggested that Rory take some more session with the psychiatrist to make sure she was 100% ok to return to the field.

Rory was of course not happy about the suggestion and she'd spent the next 2 hours arguing and fighting with her team and director until Fury had threatened to take her off field again if she didn't go to the sessions.

Which was how she'd found herself sitting in front of Doctor Holstein again, trying not to let her temper slip.

"and again, I'm telling you I am _fine_." She argued, her temples aching. She rubbed them with two fingers, willing the stabbing pain to go away.

"Finding out that your parents were murdered is a tough thing to process, no one would think any less of you if you took some time off." Holstein watched Rory from over the top of her glasses.

Rory clenched her jaw, knowing that she couldn't lose her temper at the doctor. Not without a report coming out saying she wasn't mentally fit for field.

" _I_ would think less of me." She replied. "I need to stay at work and hunt down that motherfucker."

Holstein made a note on her pad, the pen scratching loudly. "You need to think about yourself first, agent."

"I am thinking about myself." Rory muttered. "I would rest easier knowing he was dead."

Again, Holstein scribbled something down and Rory ground her teeth. She knew she needed to stop talking about killing the guy and getting revenge. It wouldn't look good to the doctor and therefore wouldn't look good to SHIELD. Fury might actually tell her to leave. She couldn't leave. The idea of leaving left her feeing empty. SHIELD was the one thing she was good at and she could only go up from where she was now. Leaving would never be an option.

"Revenge isn't a path you want to take, Aurora. It will destroy you. I've seen it plenty of times in this field of work and no one really wins." Holstein's voice was soft and grave and Rory knew she was right.

"He spoke to my family." She said finally, letting that thought sink in. "He sought out my family and spoke to them. Grant and Maggie. They had no idea who they were talking to." A shiver went up her spine and she sat forward, her elbows on her knees. She dropped her head into her hands. "What if he'd wanted to kill them? I would never have known the truth."

A soft hand found her forearm and she looked up. Holstein's kind eyes peered at her and Rory felt bad for talking down about her in the past. Her awful perfume swirled around her, tickling her nose.

"He didn't kill them and you shouldn't dwell on what he could have done." The hand was removed and Rory sat back. "I do think you need to discuss details with your grandfather. Captain Rogers was concerned that you would go to him for answers but I told him I would insist you go to the source of the information."

Rory let out a sigh. It killed her to know that Steve had known and had kept it from her. She knew his loyalties with her grandfather ran deep but he also knew how unstable she felt at times because of her dreams. He should have told her. It stung her to know their friendship wasn't as strong as she thought it was.

"I wouldn't put Steve in that position purely because if I asked him I would be too mad to continue talking to him." She nodded finally. "But I am _not_ talking to my grandfather."

"I think it would put your mind at ease." Holstein replied, looking at the clock.

"I think it would just make me want to skip town and never talk to anyone again." Again with the scratching and Rory sighed.

"Any nightmares?" Holstein asked and Rory shook her head. It was a lie, of course. Her nightmares had turned exponentially worse in the week and a half since Milan.

"No."

"So you're sleeping ok?"

"Fine." She nodded again.

That was also a lie.

The nightmares often left her wide-awake and scared for hours, feeling his eyes on her in the dark. She now had a face to put with the monster pulling her parents from the car. She had a face to go with the man in the doorway, leaving her alone with her mothers' dead body. Sometimes he pulled her from the car too, placing the knife against her skin and slowly slicing until she couldn't breath. She woke up gasping for air, her skin hot like blood was running over it.

"So sleeping on Steve's couch is just a coincidence?"

Rory smothered a groan and sucked in a deep breath. The smell of spun sugar intensified as she did. So he'd told her. Two nights ago she'd woken up, screaming and convinced that Zemo was in her apartment. She'd thrown herself out of her room and had hammered on Steve's door until he'd opened up and she'd cried right there in his arms at the door.

She'd even woken up Clint, who was more worried than ever about his friend. Steve wasn't supposed to have told the Doctor this. He was supposed to have kept it to himself because he knew how important being reinstated was to her. She ground her teeth before she responded.

"Fell asleep watching movies. Couple of beers will do that to me." She replied, pushing the memory of that particular nightmare to the back of her mind.

Holstein looked sceptical but said nothing more on the matter.

"Well I'll see you next week then. Same time."

Rory nodded as she stood and headed for the door. She made her way up to her apartment but stopped when she noticed Steve's door open.

"Steve?" She called out, poking her head inside.

"In here." He called back. She walked through until she found him, packing some books into boxes. "Hey," he smiled at her, holding up a book. "Is this yours?"

Her beaten up copy of _Alice in Wonderland_ was in his hand and she nodded. "Yeah, but you keep it. It's your favourite."

"You sure?" He asked her, glancing at the cover.

"I'm sure." She leant against the doorframe and looked around at the mess. "You ended up with a lot of stuff, huh?" She smiled at him.

"Not entirely sure how." He chuckled, tossing _Alice_ into the box. "Mostly it's books and movies. It's nice to have my own things."

Rory smiled and looked at the bare spaces. It was a harsh reminder that her friend and protector wouldn't be right across the hall when she needed him.

"Hey, sweetheart, what's wrong?"

She glanced at Steve, finding his face full of concern.

"Nothing." She shook her head. He was on his feet and before her in a second.

"Now you don't think I believe that for a second, do you?" He reached up, cupping her chin with his hand.

Nothing had really changed between them since that night in the Safe House and it made her eternally happy. Other than his fondness for calling her 'sweetheart' and the occasional caress, like cupping her chin and sweeping his thumb over her cheek, things were the same.

"Nothing is wrong. I just…" She waved a hand and tore her eyes away from his to look around the apartment that was slowly being emptied. "I'm gonna miss you is all."

"I'm not going far." He chuckled, drawing her into his side.

"Yeah I know, but in the middle of the night it's too far." She admitted, hating that she relied on him so much. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"Did you tell Holstein about your nightmares?"

"No." She stiffened, shaking her head.

"Aurora…"

"I'm _fine_ , Steve." She let out a sigh, stepping out of his arms. She hated his tone of voice. It was disappointment mixed with worry and she didn't need him to be either of those things.

"You punched me when I woke you up yesterday. You thoughts I was Zemo coming for you." He pointed out. She pursed her lips, determined not to say anything else. "You should call your grandfather. Maybe talking about it with him will help."

She let out a huff. "No." She said flatly. "I am so mad at him I wouldn't be very nice."

Steve folded his arms across his chest and sighed. "You have to talk to him sometime."

"No I don't."

"He wants to talk to you about it."

"Well he should have told me years ago." She rolled her eyes, tired of the same conversation. . "He shouldn't have lied all those years ago. We should have known from the start." Steve ran a hand through his hair.

"He didn't want you kids to think any different of him." He said and she glared at him.

"Well now I think he's a liar, so lucky him." She snapped, folding her arms across her chest. "And _you_." Steve winced at the poison in her tone. "You could have told me. You're _meant_ to be on my side as my friend but you're not."

"It wasn't my place to tell you, Sweetheart, I –"

"Don't you _sweetheart_ me, Rogers." She spat at him. His expression fell, cutting her deeply. " _You_ are my friend and I deserved to know."

"Yeah, but I'm also your grandfather's friend." Steve pointed out as gently as he could. Her eyes widened before they pinched into a scowl again. He winced as he realised that had been the wrong thing to say.

"Right. Of _course_ you are. How could I forget that Commando's stick together? Do me a favour Steve, tell Pa I'm not talking to either of you."

She slammed the door behind her as she left, leaving Steve to pinch his brow and wonder how on earth he was supposed to fix this.

* * *

Steve moved out of Stark Tower a couple of days later, without her help. He couldn't deny it. Four days without her talking to him was enough to leave him miserable.

"You know, Rogers. For a bloke who 'doesn't have a lot of stuff', you sure have a lot of stuff." Arthur huffed, kicking the side of a box that had fallen down the stairs at him, almost knocking him out cold.

"Yeah, I didn't realise how much I'd accumulated living in the tower." Steve chuckled.

It had taken them a little under a day to shift his stuff, and there were still a few more little things to do, like a bookshelf to build and a bedframe to erect, but he was out of Stark Tower and into Brooklyn. He was in his own place and able to start his own life. He stepped back from the newly hung war bonds poster to see if it was straight. It had been a birthday gift from Pepper, it was vintage and he actually loved it.

"Still don't see why Rory's not here helping." Tony grunted as he shifted another box into the room. He walked to the refrigerator and pulled out a beer. He grimaced but took a long drag anyway. "I would have thought she would be all over this place, decorating it the way she wanted."

"We argued about her grandparents, she hasn't spoken to me in about a week." Steve explained, unable to stop the pained expression on his face.

"She's still not talking to them either?" Clint asked, reaching for the beer in Tony's hands. Tony swatted him away and pulled a fresh one out of the fridge for him.

Steve shook his head. "Nope. She flat out refuses."

"Damn and I thought Tasha was stubborn. Are her nightmare's getting better?" Clint asked Arthur, knowing Aurora would have gone to him if she wasn't talking to Steve. The Brit shook his head again.

"Nope. I've either slept on her couch or she's slept on mine. Wakes up every night, gasping for air or reaching for her gun." Arthur sighed. He took the beer Tony was offering and cracked it open. "I had to take it off her in case she shot me."

"She's always been stubborn but I didn't think she was that bad." Tony muttered. "Maybe she'll take some of the sleeping pills I have. Gets me through the night, dream free." They all knew what kind of demons Tony was dealing with. If he needed something to sleep then it would surely work for Aurora.

"Normally I wouldn't think that was a good idea, but please do. She hasn't slept a full night in weeks." Steve nodded as he also took a beer. The four men drank in silence, trying to think of a way to help their friend.

"You should invite Dugan to the tower." Clint said suddenly, a smile forming on his face. Tony glanced at him.

"Ambush her?" He asked. Clint nodded.

"Yeah, ambush her. Don't tell her he's coming and then, surprise. She has to talk to him." He shrugged, looking pleased.

"She'll hate it." Steve rubbed his jaw.

"But it'll be the only way she agrees to anything." Arthur pointed out. "Cornering her is far easier than arguing with her."

"Dugan does have her car and she'll be needing it soon." Steve remembered they'd left it in Boston the night they'd left for Milan. "Maybe he can drop it off? Jarvis can tell Tony when she's in and not likely to leave and Tony can call Dugan."

"I'll call Uncle Tim tonight, set it up." Tony nodded. "Just be ready to face her wrath, especially if she finds out it was your idea, Barton."

"You all agreed, just remember that." He chuckled. "If I go down, I'm taking you assholes with me."

They laughed and had another couple of beers before they left Steve to unpack in peace.

He was just starting a painting when someone buzzed on his doorbell. He wiped his fingers on a rag, frowning slightly as he went down the stairs to the front entry. A figure stood on the other side of his stoop and even though they had their back to him, he knew whom it was.

He opened the door and she turned to face him, her red curls fanning out behind her. The pizza slid on her hand, but she caught it easily, wincing ever so slightly.

"Hey." She said, a small smile appearing on her face. "I come with pizza _and_ an apology." She held the box out, tempting him with the smell of beef and cheese.

"Pizza _and_ an apology? My lucky night." Steve smiled, stepping aside for her to enter. He followed her upstairs and went to the kitchen grabbing napkins and beers for them, before meeting her in the living room again.

She stood in the middle of the room, looking like she belonged there in her faded cotton t-shirt, brown leather jacket and denim shorts. Her legs looking long and lean in them, and he sighed remembering what it was like to kiss his way up them. She was staring at his War Bonds poster, smiling lightly.

"Make yourself at home." He gestured to her, sitting on the couch behind her.

She placed the pizza on the coffee table and shrugged out of her jacket.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you move in."

"It's ok. Clint, Arthur and Tony helped out. It was done fairly quick." He smiled easily, waving his hand to silence her apology. He gestured for her to sit and handed her the beer. "How you doin'?" He asked.

"Fine." She nodded and Steve raised his eyebrows. She looked like hell. Her skin was pallid and there were dark circles under her eyes. She still wasn't sleeping, the nightmare always there behind her eyes.

"Really?" Steve asked, disbelief colouring his tone and she smiled thinly at him.

"It's been a really weird week." Was all she said, as she sat beside him. He heard her sigh, the small escape of breath as she relaxed into the cushions.

"Weird how?" He asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to draw her into his side.

"Just… weird." She shook her head, rubbing her eyes. She took a drink of her beer, cradling it between two hands. "I'm exhausted and I've been trying to convince Fury to let me stay on field assignments but I feel like I'm losing. I feel like I'm mad at the world and I'm _so_ sorry I lost my shit at you the other day… I just…" She took another drink and he squeezed her shoulders.

"Hey, it's ok. I do understand why you're mad at me." He nodded, smiling lightly at her.

"I'm not mad at you… I was just _frustrated_." She shrugged, running a hand through her hair. "But I get it. It's not your place to tell me. It would be too hard to hear it from you." She faced him and smiled lightly. "I've really wanted to be around you and I just… I'm so stubborn. I'm so sorry."

He chuckled and shook his head, bringing her close enough for him to tuck her under his chin.

"I _know_ you're stubborn. This isn't new information and I'm ok." He pressed his lips to her hair. "I've missed you too." He smiled, closing his eyes. God, he had missed her. Just having her around to talk to and laugh with was something he'd missed and it had only been a week. He felt like he was losing his mind. "Is Holstein helping at all?" He asked, wondering if she was still going to her sessions.

She shook her head. "No. She's just telling me I need to talk to my Pa, find out for sure what happened." She let out a frustrated sigh. "My mind is making stuff up in my dreams to substitute lack of information." He felt her grit her teeth as she let her sentence die.

"I know you don't want to hear this again, sweetheart, but you need to talk to him, your Pa I mean." Steve murmured against her hair. His fingers stroked up and down her arm, his skin warm against hers and she burrowed further into him. "He can tell you everything so your mind doesn't have to make stuff up."

"I am _not_ talking to him." She said, her voice muffled by his arm. She sat up and stretched, stifling a yawn with the back of her hand. She reached for the pizza box, opening it up and inhaling the smell of beef and cheese. "The apartment looks so good." She smiled as she took a slice. Steve knew a change of conversation when he saw one so he let it slide.

"Looks a mess." He nodded to the boxes strewn everywhere. "I didn't realise I had so much stuff."

"You do." She nodded. Her eyes lit up when she noticed the easel and canvas by the window. "You set it up!" She looked at him happily.

"It was the first thing I did." He grabbed his own slice of pizza. "I haven't started anything good yet, just practiced a bit." He showed her his paint stained hands and she smiled.

"You will." She nodded confidently. "I can't wait to see whatever you do."

"Can't guarantee it'll be good first up, it's been about 70 years and I was never a painter." He chuckled, digging in to the food. They were silent while they ate for a few minutes. It was a nice, companionable silence like the kind they'd always had.

Rory realised that she'd become so used to spending her nights like this, curled up on Steve's couch eating dinner and enjoying his company that she didn't know what she was going to do when he was gone. The week she'd been ignoring him had really set the tone for how things would be now that he wasn't right across the hall.

"It's gonna be weird not doing this every night." She said finally, wiping her mouth on a napkin.

"I have a spare room, you're welcome to move in." Steve replied easily. He stood abruptly, shoving the last of his slice into his mouth. "Reminds me, I have something for you."

Rory ignored his question for the minute, watching as he crossed the room, his sweats hanging deliciously low on his hips. She enjoyed the view for a minute; flashes of him sprawled out naked on the bed in Milan crossing her mind.

He plucked something out of a bowl on the table by the door and came back over to her.

"As promised, this is for you." He held a key in his fingers for her. "But I am serious about you moving in if you want." He added. She took it and smiled.

"How about I think about that part and if I can't find an apartment I like, I'll take you up on it?" She asked as he sat down again.

"Sounds good, but for now there's your key." He grabbed another slice.

"Are you sure?"

"Of course." He nodded. "Someone needs to be able to get into this place while I'm on missions and stuff." He shrugged easily. "Water my plants, feed the dog if I get one, that kind of thing."

Rory looked down at the key. "You're going to regret this when I'm crawling into your bed at three in the morning."

"I don't think I'll mind that at all." He chuckled, wondering if she'd be naked when she did. He asked and received a smack on the arm in return.

"Steve!" She squeaked, laughing and shaking her head.

"I'm just asking!" He grinned lecherously, making her heart thud in her chest. "I know you said that Milan was a one time thing –"

"Yeah and you agreed!" She interjected.

"I know I did, but it was fun." He continued, watching as an involuntary smile spread across her face.

"Yeah, it _really_ was." She agreed. He grinned.

"So, I'm just saying… I'm not gonna mind if you decide, at midnight, you want something fun and you come over." He finished and she burst out laughing.

"You realise you're planning a bootycall." She managed to get out before another wave of giggles started again. "You're not meant to preplan a booty call!"

"A what?" Steve's eyebrows knitted and Rory shook her head.

"Oh god. A booty call is… when you call someone just for sex. Like… friends having sex for fun and that's it." She explained, wiping her eyes. She grabbed her beer and finished it, shaking her head again. Those were the last words she'd expected to come out of Steve's mouth. The man was a constant surprise lately, one she couldn't even tell anyone about.

"I'm not _preplanning_ it, I'm just letting you know I'm ok with it if you decided you wanted to." He said, sounding a little indignant as his ears went red. Her lips twitched.

"How chivalrous." She murmured. Steve laughed, shaking his head. "You have pizza sauce." She murmured as she wiped her own mouth where the sauce was on him.

"Oh." He raised his hand and brushed the wrong side.

"No, other side." She pointed with her finger. He switched sides but still missed. Rory smiled gently and shook her head. "Here." She sighed, cupping his face with her palm and rubbing it with her thumb. "Saving it for later?" She asked with a smile.

Steve leant his face into her hand. "Something like that." He nodded. He captured her hand with his and brought it to his lips. He kissed her palm softly and she shivered.

"Steve…" she groaned, her heartbeat racing in her chest. She hadn't been able to stop thinking about that night. It had literally been the best sex of her life. She wasn't going to forget that so quickly and her body definitely wanted more.

"Yes?" He murmured, his breath hot on her skin.

"Don't." She found herself saying with no conviction what so ever. She wanted him to kiss her again. Had done since the last one had left her breathless.

"Don't what?" He smirked, that roughish look back in his eyes. She chewed on her lip, his attention drawing to it easily. Her tongue darted out in the next moment and she saw his fist tighten.

"Kiss me." She murmured, loosing a breath. He leaned closer.

"Kiss you?" He asked, his eyes flicking to her lips again.

"Yes." She nodded. "Please."

"Ok."

He leant forward and pressed his lips to hers, slowly and carefully. He ran his fingers back up her side and neck, burying them into her hair. He fisted the locks and pulled her closer.

"Steve…" She breathed, her voice a semi-tone away from a sigh and she deepened the kiss. He moaned softly, creeping forward until he had her crowded into the cushions of the couch. He ran a hand back down her side and shifted her leg hooking her thigh around his hip. He settled between her, feeling her hips roll against his.

It was exactly like before, but even better. She was so soft and warm against him and she fit perfectly in his arms. Her fingers fumbled with the buckle of his jeans and he shifted to give her easier access.

A blast of obnoxious guitar riffs broke the silence in the room as she finally got the button undone. They both jumped, their eyes popping open.

"Stark." Steve groaned, groping around for his phone. "I could ignore it." He turned back to Rory, his hand still in her hair.

She sucked in a breath. She wanted to tell him to ignore it so he could take her on the couch, but she knew it was possibly a mission and Tony wouldn't stop until he picked up.

"Answer it."

"But…"

"He's not going to stop until you answer it." She sighed, her hands resting heavily on the waistband of his pants.

He scowled and pressed the answer call button, bringing the phone to his ear.

"What?" he growled down the line, pressing the phone to his ear.

" _Woah, did I catch you during little Stevie time?"_ Tony sounded delighted at the strain in Steve's voice.

"What do you want, Stark?" Steve barked, rolling his eyes.

" _Suit up, mon capitan. Avengers Assemble and all that. Sorry it's your first night in the apartment but duty calls._ "

"Where are we going and for how long?" He glanced at Aurora, ducking his head to kiss her again. She let out a squeak and kissed him back, laughing lightly.

A ripple of lust lashed out from his belly and curled up his spine at the noice. She looked so goddamned sexy like that and he just - needed to focus on what Tony was saying. He closed his eyes tight and opened them, focusing on Tony's voice.

" _Eastern Europe and no idea. Could be a week, could be a day. It's a code red situation._ "

"What's Code Red?"

" _No clue. Sounded cool though."_

Steve snorted. "How long will wheels up?"

" _Get here ASAP. You could probably finish with Little Stevie though_." He imagined Tony grinning and bit back the cusses he wanted to throw.

"I'll be there in 20." He snapped and hung up the call. He pinched his brow and let his head fall to her shoulder. "Avengers Assemble."

"You should go then." Rory smiled, patting his shoulder. Her fingers swept through his hair.

"I'd rather stay and do whatever we were doing before." He lifted his head and glanced at her.

"What we were doing before is going to take way too long." She countered with a sleep smile. "You better suit up, Captain."

He sighed, knowing she was right. He sat up, taking her hand to pull her into a sitting position.

"We'll continue this later, right?" he asked, his eyes so wide with hope, Rory had to laugh.

"If you want." She smiled, nodding slowly. She definitely wanted to. God, did she want to. She was cursing Tony a thousand times over for interrupting them.

"Oh, that isn't even a question. I definitely want to." He grinned, his face lighting up like the Fourth of July. She laughed and pushed him off her.

"Go and suit up." She shook her head. He ducked his head and kissed her again.

"As you wish." He winked, knowing she couldn't resist when he pulled out Wesley's favourite line. She laughed and rolled her eyes.

He grinned, winking before he disappeared into his bedroom to unpack his suit.

* * *

Rory let out a breath. He was going to be the death of her, she was pretty sure of that. What a damn way to go.

Rory scrubbed her eyes as the words on the laptop screen in front of her blurred together. She'd been working round the clock since Steve had left, going through every scrap of information they had on Marcus Evanier and Baron Helmut Zemo with a fine-toothed comb.

The walls were littered with paper and string, an old fashioned but effective webbing matrix that her grandfather had taught her. Red string for direct links, blue for possible leads, yellow for everything else. Every organisation that Marcus had ever been a banker for was up on the walls the links blurring together like the words on the screen.

Arthur was worried, she knew he was, but she needed to focus her attention on finding the bastard or she'd go crazy. Steve wasn't there to distract her – he'd been gone three days and it was starting to wear at her – and there were no missions for her to go on. She wasn't sure if that was just Fury taking precautions with her or if there was really nothing she could help with, but it was killing her so much she even asked for extra rotation duty on the helicarrier.

She was just starting a SHIELD search for Baron Heinrich Zemo when a loud knock sounded through her apartment. A second and third one came and she stood, rubbing her eyes again.

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Yeesh." She sighed, stepping up to her door. She looked out of the peephole and almost fell over. "Jarvis. Did you let my grandfather up here?"

" _Yes ma'am_."

"Why?" She bit and scowled.

" _Because he has clearance, courtesy of Mr Stark_." Jarvis replied. Rory growled.

"They've ambushed me, haven't they?" 'They' being: Steve, Tony and possibly her grandfather.

"Mr Stark wishes me to inform you that this was all Agent Barton's idea and Captain Roger's agreed to it. He only facilitated in calling your grandfather to arrange to collect your car." The AI rattled off a pre-prepared speech and Rory swore. Clint was one she hadn't seen coming.

"My ass he had nothing to do with it!" She exclaimed. Another knock sounded at the door.

"Rory my girl, I can hear you in there talking to the AI. Please, let me in."

Rory's mouth clapped shut. Her grandfather's voice had never sounded so… pathetic. She peered through the peephole again and found him worrying the brim of his hat in his hands. She sucked in a deep breath and turned the handle.

"Hi Pa." She said, fighting the urge to both simultaneously run to his arms and slam the door again. She knew he could make this right again, knew that an explanation is what she needed to make the bad dreams go away– but she was still so mad at him for keeping this from her, from all of them that she stood her ground.

"Hi sweetheart." Dugan replied, still worrying the brim of his hat. He hesitated outside the door before he nodded. "Can I come in?"

Rory stepped back and let him in, shutting the door as he passed. He paused in by the kitchen counter, looking at the mess that was her living room.

"Been busy?" He asked, turning to her slightly.

"Gotta try and get a head start on the bastard. Finish what you gave up on." She said bitterly. His face crumpled and she knew it had been a low blow but she was trying not to care right now. "You're dropping off my car?"

"Yes, it's in the carpark underground. This is a nice place here."

Rory nodded, her mouth a thin line. "It is but I'll start looking for a place soon. SHIELD HQ is being rebuilt so I'll move out when they do."

"Oh. Same place as last time?" Dugan asked. Rory's insides squirmed at the ridiculous small talk they were making.

"Maybe. I think they're almost done rebuilding. Could get my apartment over looking central park again. West side is a bit far away though." She shrugged, thinking of Brooklyn.

"Where's the new HQ building going to be?" Dugan asked.

"Undisclosed location right now."

"So how do you know it's too far?"

Rory glanced at her Pa. "I meant too far from my friends. Arthur and Jas both live east, and Steve is in Brooklyn…" She replied, trailing off. Dugan nodded and fell silent. Rory let out a breath. "You can leave my keys on the counter, Pa." She said as she lowered herself back to the sofa, picking up some files to flip through while Dugan decided what he was going to do.

"Aurora, I'm sorry." His voice was small when he spoke and she almost missed it over the clatter of her keys on the counter.

"Are you?" She turned to look at him over the back of the couch. His hat was still in his hands and she was worried for a moment that he would pull the brim right off. She motioned for him to come and sit and he sank into the plush and rarely used armchair. "I don't understand why you never told us."

"I didn't want you kids to know." Dugan said in a gravelly voice. She'd never heard him use it before and it damn near broke her heart. "It's a horrible thing to live with and I didn't want it to change your outlooks on life." He replaced the hat on his head and for a moment Rory imagined she wasn't mad at him and he was here on a social visit.

"We lost our parents!" She said after a beat. "Our outlooks couldn't have been worse." She gave a sigh of frustration and returned her eyes to the file in front of her. It was about an assassin called 'The Winter Soldier' who may have had connections with Zemo but the file was inconclusive and SHIELD wasn't even sure he existed.

"If you'd known they'd been murdered it would have been worse for you. You would have lived your lives in constant fear." Rory glanced up at the hitch in his voice and she could tell he was reliving everything in his head. "People would have treated you differently. You would have treated _me_ differently." He choked and brought a hand up to rub his nose as he sniffed.

A lump formed in Rory's throat and the file dropped into her lap again.

"How could we have seen you differently, Pa?" Her voice was soft and when his eyes met hers she could see the blue was watery, rimmed in red.

"Because this was my fault." He said, his shoulders still and taught. "If I hadn't let his father die he wouldn't have come after my son. If I hadn't made the mistake, none of this would have happened. I failed you kids."

"You didn't fail us." Rory choked on a sob and pushed the file from her lap. Her fingers pressed against her lips as she witnessed the falling apart of her ever-strong grandfather.

"I did, my girl." He sniffed again and swallowed. "I did and I thought that if I kept it from you, you wouldn't think your old Pa was a failure. I was a hero to you kids. I didn't want that to change, it was selfish."

"You're still my hero, Pa." Rory whispered, wiping her eyes. "You always have been and always will be but I need to know what happened to _me_."

Dugan was quiet for a long time. Long enough for Rory to stand, pour them two glasses of bourbon, and walk back to the sofa.

"Zemo senior died while we were arresting him for experimenting and torturing more than a few mutants. He was a scientist for Hydra and they were trying to harness the genetic code for the super soldier."

"If they couldn't make the serum they'd pull it from blood?" Rory questioned and Dugan nodded.

"He took a cyanide pill, died in custody with us. We closed the case and went on with life. Few years later, the same kind of killings started up again but this time it was humans and mutants. Everyone was free game and it was to bait me." Dugan knocked back his bourbon in one mouthful.

"Zemo junior." Rory said as she got up to fetch the bottle. She had a feeling she'd need it.

"Helmut." Dugan nodded. "He wanted revenge. He didn't believe us when we told him his father killed himself. He swore to get back at me however he could. Somewhere along the lines he figured out that we, as in Peg and I, had used Sternberg's formula. He got this idea in his head that –"

"He could use your son to find the formula _and_ hurt you." Rory let out a breath she'd been holding. She knocked back her own glass and Dugan leant forward to pour them some more.

"Your parents had dropped Grant, Tim and Maggie off at our house and they were taking you to a specialist appointment, for your serum you remember?" He looked up at her and she nodded. "He caused an accident in order to get all three of you. He took you to an old, abandoned hospital that he'd turned into a makeshift laboratory just outside of Danvers."

Images flooded Rory's mind. She remembered the accident and she remembered his face. She remembered him leaning in and smiling at her, hearing her mother screaming in the background. She shuddered and downed the glass in one hit.

"He called me and taunted me. Told me he was going to do, what he had already done. I… I went in blind. I got your parents killed, I –"

"What did he do to them, Pa?" Rory's voice was a whisper as tears tracked silently down her face.

"He- he- he tortured them. Experimented on them. Days it went on. Three to be exact but he never touched you." He added quickly. "He killed… He killed your mother first –"

"Cut her throat." Rory whispered. Her hands shook as she placed the glass on the coffee table. Dugan froze. "He told me he should cut my throat like he'd done to my mother… but this was his revenge on me for deceiving him. He said was going to use me instead."

"Experiments. You have serum."

"Barely."

"You've still got it. This is why Peg never wanted it written down." Dugan said, his voice cracking. He looked around the room, really taking in all the research she was pouring her heart and soul into and he tapped his fingers on his knees. "Do you have any leads?"

She shook her head. "Not at this stage, but I'll find him. I promise." Her eyes narrowed and she clenched her fists to stop them shaking. "I will make him pay."

"Peg gave me strict instructions to discourage you from doing this." Dugan said. Rory raised her eyebrow and he shook his head. "Your grandmother knows you well, my girl, she knows you'll want to go after him because it's what she would do."

"Why didn't she?"

"She had you kids to look after. If it hadn't been for you she probably would have done it herself." Dugan explained. He paused. "Promise me you'll ask for help when you need it."

"You're not telling me no?"

"No." Dugan shook his head. "There's no point. I tell you no, you do it behind my back and get into trouble. Please, all I ask is that you use the resources you have at your disposal – me, Nick, Rogers… anyone. Hell, even young Anthony."

Rory grimaced at the use of Tony's full name.

"I will, Pa." She nodded, swallowing hard. "I will ask for help and keep you in the loop." She forced a smile. This was her case and it would be her kill but she would be stupid not to ask for help when it was right there for her. "How long are you in town?"

"I fly out in the morning." Dugan admitted.

"What would you have done if I hadn't forgiven you?" Rory shook her head in amusement.

"Roger's said you have a spare key to his place and to ask for it." Dugan grinned. "Am I forgiven?"

"Yes." Rory nodded, letting out a sigh. She scrubbed her face. "I just… wish you'd told us."

"Some things are better left unsaid. It would have killed you all to learn it wasn't just an accident."

Rory nodded. She couldn't imagine how much harder it might have been to grow up with that knowledge. She was glad she knew but she also knew she couldn't' tell the others. This was her secret and she would take it to the grave to spare her siblings the pain of the truth.

* * *

Author's Note:

Hey readers! Thanks for reading as per usual. This chapter was a slight filler but the next one will be out soon. I am officially 28.5k works into #2 and I couldn't be happier with how it's turning out! Stay tuned for the rest of this story and if you like it, tell me! Comment, share, tell a buddy. Share the Cap love. Thanks again!

Playlist: (Added songs from last chapter)

Howling for You – The Black Keys

Push the Button - Sugababes

Nobody Does it Like You – Selena Gomez

Heart Stops Beating - +44

My Body – Young the Giant

Touchin on my – 3OH!3

Hott – 3OH!3

I Wanna – All American Rejects

Love Bug – Baby Bee

Again, Again and Again – Blaqk Audio

Hello Fascination – Breathe Carolina


	23. Rules and Regulations

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 23: Rules and Regulations

* * *

Steve had never been in Tony's penthouse before. It was different to what he'd been expecting. He'd been expecting extravagance, items of little use but that cost more than they were worth. He was expecting decadence, but instead he was met with a home that felt lived in.

Photographs donned the side tables and walls, shoes lay haphazardly kicked off to the side by the door, there was even a cat sprawled on a sofa. Steve didn't even know Tony liked cats. The decorations for Pepper's birthday helped with the homey feel as well and Steve was glad to find Tony was a normal human being under all the extravagance of Stark.

It was a small party, nothing too over the top, which was exactly what Pepper had asked for this time around. According to the stories Steve had heard, last year consisted of 600 people, 40 dancing girls and Tony, drunk and swinging off the chandelier.

This was nice and small, just the team and close friends. Tony was making jokes and Thor was laughing. Bruce and Jane were talking science while Darcy was trying to convince Clint to climb into the vents to prove he could. Natasha was trying hard to stop him from doing that.

Steve watched from the sidelines, waiting for one person in particular to arrive. The one person who he hadn't seen for another 6 days because of her rotation on the helicarrier. He hated to admit but it was driving him crazy.

He sighed and took another drink, draining the last of his glass.

"Rogers, what are you doing over here all by yourself." Tony himself asked as he walked around the bar for another drink. A blonde girl Steve had yet to be introduced to was trailing behind him. He smiled politely at her.

"Nothing." Steve shrugged, not wanting to admit he was missing her. "Getting another drink." He made up on the spot.

"Excellent. Correct answer." Stark grinned, taking his glass to refill it with the Asgardian ale that Thor had brought with him. It was stronger than earth stuff and Thor was sure it would at least make Steve feel something. "Have you met Pepper sister, Felicity, yet?" He nodded to the blonde woman.

"No, I can't say I have." He smiled politely, holding out his hand to her.

She took it with a dazzling smile.

"Please, call me Flick. I only get Felicity when I'm in trouble." She replied, shaking his hand.

"Which is always." Tony interjected and she rolled her eyes. Steve chuckled, taking the refilled glass from Tony. He looked at Flick, wondering how she and Pepper were related. Where Pepper was tall and sleek, with pin straight red hair, Flick was shorter and had curves for days, with wild curly hair that seemed to have a mind of it's own. She dressed down in tight fitting jeans and a white shirt, coupled with a leather jacket. She was the polar opposite of Pepper.

"Flick is 25 and lives in California." Tony continued, leaning against the bar.

"California is nice." Steve nodded.

"Yeah it's not bad. Far cry from Connecticut and I love it." She said.

"What is it you do there?" Steve asked politely. He could feel Tony watching them in anticipation and he felt like this was a little bit of a set up. He cleared his throat as he took another drink, hoping that he would start to feel _something_ soon.

""I'm the personal assistant for the CEO of Paramount Pictures." Flick replied as his phone buzzed in his hand. He glanced at it, Aurora's name flashing up on the screen.

"Oh? The PA job is a family business then?" He asked as he flicked the message open.

 _ETA: 35mins. Just leaving Helicarrier with Arthur. See you soon!_

He smiled as Tony cleared his throat. Steve found him looking at him with raised eyebrows when he looked up. Tony tipped his head toward Flick, a clear sign Steve needed to pay attention to the woman.

"I'm still waiting to be made CEO of my company but sadly my boss is 67 and has grandchildren. The scandal wouldn't be worth it." She joked and Steve actually laughed. He pocketed his phone.

"Definitely not." He agreed with a shake of his head.

"No, can't all be as lucky as my sister but, hey, I do alright. It's a decent job. I've got a nice apartment in L.A., I see Pep when she comes to Malibu. It's good." Flick said with a smile.

"She's also single." Tony interjected unceremoniously, draining his second glass.

"Tony!" Flick exclaimed, shooting him a dangerous look. It was then that Steve saw the resemblance between her and Pepper.

"What? Steve's single too. Thought I'd point it out." Tony grinned, stepping out of her reach. "I'll let you two chat."

Steve let out a sigh as Tony walked away. In the 40s Bucky had at least been subtle about pushing girls at him. That was like a sledgehammer and now he stood awkwardly, waiting for her to say something.

"I'm _so_ sorry about him. He likes to play the big brother card sometimes." Flick shook her head, giving an eye roll.

"Yeah, I know how Tony is." Steve assured her.

"I should have known he'd try. He usually does, just not with superheroes." She chuckled. "I guess you're something special, huh?"

"He likes to think I'm a perfect gentleman." Steve smiled at her and her eyebrows rose.

"Oh so the stories of the 90 year old virgin are –"

"Whatever makes Tony happy." He said cryptically and she leaned closer. He could smell her perfume and he took another drink.

"Well I will definitely keep that one a secret." She laughed lightly, patting his hand. "So, I saw you on TV in March. You really do the American flag proud in that outfit of yours, don't you?" Flick said, leaving her hand on his.

He looked at it, feeling the warmth from her fingers spread through his hand. Or was it the alcohol? He'd already finished is second drink. Maybe Thor was onto something.

"I didn't design this one. If I had it my way I'd be in something darker; navy blue maybe?" He shrugged.

"Oh I don't know, I think you make people feel very patriotic." She chuckled lightly and he smiled. He ducked his head a little closer to her.

"You know, I've been told that by a lot of people. It's everything Captain America stands for I guess. Truth, justice –"

"Sex appeal?"

He laughed.

"I've been told that by a few people too." He agreed. He reached over the bar for some more ale.

"Do you believe it?"

"When it comes from someone as pretty as you? Sure, why not?" He grinned and she laughed.

"And Tony said you were terrible at flirting." She shook her head, tucking some hair behind her ears.

Steve frowned. "What else did he say I was terrible at?" He asked as he poured.

"Oh a lot of things. I'm sure none of them are true." She laughed. Steve rolled his eyes.

"More than likely." He muttered. "He really talked me up, didn't he?"

Flick laughed and tugged on his arm. "I'm willing to find out… C'mon, Cap. Let's go play some pool while the tables are free. He said you were terrible at that too."

"He's never even seen me play!" But he followed her anyway, determined to show her how not terrible at things he was. It wouldn't be long until Aurora was there and she would tell Flick a few things he was sure.

Arthur and Rory arrived to the party a little after 9.

"I hate being late." She muttered as the elevator doors opened into the penthouse.

"So you've said only about, 20 times." Arthur replied dryly, steering her to where they could hear their friends talking. Tony, Pepper, Darcy, Jane, Bruce and Thor were in the sunken living area; Stark was making jokes and the others were laughing, strewn over the comfy sofas. It was nice and relaxed but there was one person that Rory couldn't see.

"You guys made it!" Pepper exclaimed, standing from where she'd been perched on the sofa to greet them both. She took the steps two at a time, coming to a stop in front of them. She kissed their cheeks, took their presents and then beckoned them over.

"Sorry we're late, we got held up on the helicarrier."

"Maria told me." She nodded. "Don't worry, you're here that's all that matters. Can I get you a drink?"

"Sure. I'll take… whatever Darcy is drinking." Rory nodded to the cocktail in Darcy's hands that was a violent shade of purple with fruit on top.

"Coming right up." Pepper nodded. "Arthur?"

"Just a jack and coke." The Brit replied, shrugging out of his jacket as he sank into the sofa beside Darcy. He kissed her cheek and she snuggled into his side.

"Where are the others?" Rory asked as she sat beside Thor.

"Over by the pool tables. A game of pool between Steve and Flick heated up and now they're playing doubles with Nat and Clint." Jane replied, looking up from something sciency Bruce was showing her on his phone.

"Flick?"

"Pep's sister." Tony clarified. "They're so cute together." He grinned and Rory's eyebrows rose.

"Together?" She asked, looking around for them. The pool tables, she knew, were out in the atrium. She could hear yelling and laughing floating from that direction.

"Tony's trying really hard to set them up." Darcy explained with a small laugh. "It's actually working."

"Thanks to Asgardian ale." Thor added with a smile. "It is good to see the Captain relaxing."

"Asgardian ale?" Rory's eyebrows rose. She'd missed a lot it seemed. "You mean he's –"

"Drunk. Yup. Not like, wasted, but he's certainly very merry." Pepper laughed as she returned. She handed Rory her drink and Arthur his. "It's nice to see my sister flirting with a guy who isn't a complete toolbag." She rolled her eyes. Rory stood.

"Oh this I have to see." She explained, trying to ignore the tightness in her stomach. She'd been looking forward to catching up with Steve since their last meeting. She'd missed him and had hoped that they'd return to their unfinished business sometime tonight.

But if he'd met someone…

She walked into the atrium and found Steve standing behind Felicity Potts as she lined up her shot. His lips were close to her ear and his body crowded over her as he helped her. The girl was a casual kind of beautiful in a way Rory could never be. Her curls flowed freely over a shoulder; her shirt was just tight enough that it pulled across an ample bust but loose enough to show she wasn't trying hard. She had a bright and wide smile with eyes filled with glee. She was fun, she was casual and she wasn't Rory.

Jealousy flared in Rory's stomach and she clenched her jaw.

"Aurora!" His eyes lit up when he looked up and saw her in the doorway. He stood up quickly, letting go as Felicity took her shot. It bumped her and the ball went wide, missing completely and Felicity straightened, turning on her heel to glare at him.

"C'mon Rogers, you're killing me here!" She exclaimed, poking him in the chest playfully.

He shrugged and ducked away from her hands.

"Oops." He muttered. He moved around the table and pulled Rory in for a hug. "You made it!" He sounded happy and a little bit dopey. Rory laughed, holding him tightly as she inhaled his scent.

"I did. I got held up with work." She replied, her voice muffled by his chest.

"Long day?" He asked, letting go of their hug. He kept an arm around her shoulders as he went back to where his drink was.

Rory greeted Clint and Natasha as well as James Rhodes, Maria Hill and Felicity.

"The longest." She nodded, watching as he drank the liquid that looked like the galaxy in a glass. "That looks weird."

"It's Asgardian Ale. It's very nice. A bit sweet. Want to try some?" He asked, pushing his glass toward her. She brought it to her lips and sniffed cautiously. It smelled like honey and tasted like nothing she'd ever had before. She licked her lips.

"That's amazing."

"Super potent." Clint said as he handed Steve the cue. "It's enough to get this one drunk so be careful, kid."

"I'm not drunk." Steve said childishly, grinning at Rory before turning back to the table. "What have we got?" He asked Felicity, wrapping an arm around her shoulders so they could plan their next move.

Rory watched with wide eyes.

"He's really…"

"Yup." Natasha nodded with a smirk. "He was dancing before. Singing too."

"No way." Rory glanced at her friend.

"Oh yes. I got it on video." The Russian grinned and Rory laughed.

"I can't believe it." She shook her head as Natasha showed her the videos of Steve singing a Weezer song and dancing dorkily around the pool table with Darcy. "He's never going to live this down."

"No way." Clint agreed. "He's smooth as hell too." He rubbed his jaw. "I'm wondering if this isn't the night Steve finally get the girl." He grinned and Natasha smacked his arm.

"Stop encouraging Tony." She rolled her eyes.

"Is this the set up?" Rory asked, trying to keep her voice even. She was trying not to watch them now. Steve was smiling at Flick like he would smile at her and she was pressed against his side like a bandaide.

"Yeah but Flick wouldn't be my first pick." Natasha shook her head. "Steve's… I don't know, better than that?"

Rory laughed, even though it was bitchy as hell for Natasha to say that.

"What's wrong with Felicity?" She asked and Clint groaned.

"Nothing, Nat's just being a bitch." He muttered as he walked away.

Natasha looked at her, her blue eyes innocently wide.

"Nothing is _wrong_ with her, I just think there's someone else who's a better fit…" She smiled and Rory squirmed.

"Mm and who would that be?" She asked, looking away from Nat. Her eyes met Steve's across the room again and her stomach erupted with butterflies.

"You know who." Natasha muttered as Steve made his way over. Rory glanced at her but nothing else was said.

"So we lost." He said as he joined them, and Rory laughed.

"Because you're drunk?"

"Because he's terrible." Felicity said as she followed him. Steve laughed, shaking his head.

"Oh? I had to help _you_ line up your shots. I'm clearly not the terrible one here." He countered, reaching out to playfully ruffle Felicity's hair. She have a squeak and shoved him, falling into his arms.

"You screwed up that last shot anyway so it didn't matter. I was only asking to get closer to you." She stuck her tongue out and Rory drained her drink.

"You don't need to make up a reason to get closer to me." He grinned, leaning down slightly. Felicity giggled and Rory stood abruptly.

"I definitely need another drink." She said shortly before she disappeared from the room.

She hadn't been prepared for this. She wasn't _supposed_ to be jealous of that girl. She and Steve were friends; that was it. They'd fucked, sure, and last time they'd met they'd started to again, but she'd messed around with friends before and had never had a problem keeping them separate.

But this was…

She reached for the bourbon and poured it into her glass.

 _New_ , she thought. This was new and she was a little annoyed that she may have been replaced before they really got to have some fun. That was why she was jealous.

She downed what she'd poured before she poured some more.

It made sense when she put it like that. Her and Steve had some unfinished business and last time they'd met, he'd made it seem like he was all for her and her alone.

She downed her second drink and let out a breath. She wouldn't mess this up. She needed to talk to him again before they did anything else because they needed some ground rules.

"I was wondering where you'd gone." His voice sent a fire through her blood and she turned, the bottle still in her hand.

"Getting a drink, like I said." She smiled, her eyes flicking behind him. "Where's Flick?" She couldn't keep the snark from her tone.

"I don't know?" He shrugged. "Pool room?" He walked back around the bar until he was beside her and he poured his own drink.

"Oh, I figured she was attached to your hip, so…." Rory quipped, unable to stop herself.

Steve paused mid pour and glanced at her.

"No…" He said slowly. He put the bottle down and picked up his glass. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." She shook her head, wondering if she could hold another shot. The first two were already kind of going to her head. A third might tip her over too much.

"Bullshit."

"Language."

He chuckled. "Bull. Shit." He stepped closer with every word for emphasis. "Are you jealous?" He asked boldly and she glared up at him.

"Why would I be jealous of her?" She asked stiffly, her fingers tightening on her glass. He was crowding her space, filling her senses up with everything him and she wasn't about to back down.

"Because she has my attention?" He shrugged and she poked his chest.

"You listen here, Steve. I don't care if she has your attention or if Nat has your attention or if I have your attention. You do what you want." She poked him again and his hand came up to grip her wrist.

"Really? Because you sound jealous." He smirked and she narrowed her eyes.

"I'm not." She shook her head. "I just figured that we have unfinished business and you would be more interested in that."

His eyes darkened at the sound of the words 'unfinished business' and he pulled her closer.

"Oh I'm definitely aware of our unfinished business, dollface. Don't you worry about that," The tone of his voice sent a thrill down her spine, right to her core. "But our friends don't _know_ about that, remember so it's not like I can do anything about it." He pointed out and she sighed. "And that was _your_ idea so if you want to change your mind on that –"

"I _know_ but no, no change of mind. Like I said, I'm not jealous." She shook her head and he chuckled.

"You're a horrible liar." He muttered as he ducked his head to kiss her. "Such a completely, horrible, liar." He kissed her again and again after every word and she stopped breathing.

"Steve?" Felicities voice invaded their senses and he straightened. Rory scowled and ran a hand through her hair as the girl in question walked through the door. "Where'd you go?"

"Making you a drink." Steve said casually, holding up a glass Rory hadn't even seen him make.

"Oh you are such a sweetheart." She beamed. "Isn't he sweet, Rory?" Felicity asked her and Rory nodded.

"He's sweet alright." She murmured, bringing her drink to her lips. Her head was swimming and she thought it only partially had something to do with the alcohol.

* * *

The night wore on and Steve got drunker, to the delight of everybody. None of them had ever seen him so relaxed and fun. The dance off between him and Thor had by far been the highlight of the night, even though no one quite knew who won and Tony's coffee table got broken in the process.

Finally, as the night was winding down, Rory sat with Pepper, Natasha and Sharon in the living room pit, watching everyone else around them.

"God my sister is the biggest flirt." Pepper sighed, watching her sister dancing with Steve. "Look at her, with _Steve_ , of all people. I'll never know how she lands them. I never had her confidence." Pepper shook her head.

"And yet you landed a billionaire." Natasha pointed out with a throaty laugh.

"No, no. _He_ landed _me_." Pepper corrected the Widow, placing her head on her friends shoulder. Rory sipped her drink so she wouldn't have to say anything. She didn't want to look at Flick, who was currently dirty dancing with the Captain. Sure, Rory had been dancing with Rhodey on and off, and flirting heavily with him… but that was beside the point.

"Oh no friggin' _way_." Sharon suddenly gasped out. "Did she just _kiss_ him?"

The cacophony of catcalls from the boys answered Sharon's question and Rory looked up to find them lip locked, with his arms coming to rest on her hips. She swallowed the last of her drink and placed the glass on the floor by her feet.

She stood, swaying slightly.

"I need some water." She muttered, picking her way out of the pit. She wandered into the kitchen, trying to get her mind off of Steve but she knew it wouldn't happen. When she heard the door open a few minutes later and knew straight away it was the man of her thoughts.

"There you are. Thought I lost you, sweetheart."

"Here I am." She smiled, thin lipped and not really feeling it. "I needed some water. Feeling a bit – " _annoyed, jealous, nauseated_ "lightheaded."

"Yeah. Me too." Steve nodded, stalking toward her like a hunter would prey. Rory pressed herself into the counter's edge and held the glass out for him.

He stopped when his toes met hers and he crowded her into the corner. "Thanks." He smiled that panty-dropping smile. He took the glass and drained it.

They were silent for a few minutes before Steve spoke.

"What's goin' on in that mind of yours, doll?" He asked her, his eyes boring into hers so she couldn't look away.

"Nothing." _Poking Flick in the eye_. "Nothing at all." She replied innocently, looking at her chipped blue nail polish.

"Aurora…" He said softly, forcing her to look up at him.

"Steve…" She said in a tone similar to his.

His lips rose in a smirk and his tongue darted out to wet them. Rory's heart thudded and she was about 90% sure he was going to kiss her.

But he didn't. Instead, he reached around her and turned the coldwater tap on so he could refill the glass. She shook her head, letting out a shaky breath and not entirely sure she liked flirty Steve anymore. He was dominant, powerful and she was pretty freakin' ok with being under him.

She stepped into his space to move past him but was met by an unmovable force.

"Nuh uh, Doll. You're staying right there til you tell me what's goin' on." He shook his head and placed a hand on the crook of her neck, pushing her gently back into the corner.

"I'm surprised you noticed." She mumbled, rolling her eyes. His fingers squeezed lightly, his thumb stroking the sensitive skin there.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" He asked, his voice a so low that reverberated through her.

She looked up, craning her neck to look at him. She met his gaze head-on, not looking to back down.

"It means you've been preoccupied by a beautiful blonde and I've barely spoken to you at all." She told him honestly, the alcohol loosening her tongue. Yep, she had to admit it now, she was jealous… but it was only because they had some unfinished business to attend to and he wasn't doing anything to make that happen.

Bastard.

"I've been preoccupied by a blonde like you've been preoccupied with a Colonel." Steve replied, his eyes narrowing a touch.

"Rhodey?"

"That's the one." He nodded. "So I don't see what the problem is."

"I don't have a problem. I never said I had a problem." She shrugged. She boosted herself up on the counter to put some space between them but it left her right at head height to him.

"You're jealous and it seems to be a problem." He pointed out, stepping forward so her knees touched his hips.

"It's not." She shook her head, stubborn as a mule.

"Is there a reason why you're jealous?" He asked, his blue eyes boring into her amber ones.

"Nope." She shook her head. "Other than unfinished business."

"Right, yeah that unfinished business." He nodded. He placed his hands on her thighs and parted them slightly so he could step between them. She held his gaze, not wanting her resolve to break. Her heart was hammering so hard behind her ribs she was sure he could hear it. "We'll get to that." He promised and her eyebrow twitched.

"Will we? Because it seems to me like you've got someone else waiting for you too." She snarked and he smirked.

"Sweetheart, when you talk like that it _almost_ sounds like you like me."

Her eyes widened.

"I don't." She shook her head. "I like having sex with you. That's about it." She countered and he chuckled. She raised the glass to her lips and took a sip of water.

"Oh I definitely like that." He nodded, pressing forward. She placed a hand on his chest.

"So we need some ground rules then." She said, pushing against his chest as he continued to move forward.

"Rules?" He paused, his eyebrow rising.

"Like… no getting jealous." She said.

"Well you broke that one first." He pointed out.

"Which is why it's a rule." She nodded. "Rule Number 2: No getting in too deep."

"Deep?"

"We're not dating, we're not falling in love… it's just sex" She said seriously. He pouted slightly but didn't argue.

"No dating or falling in love, got it." He agreed. Rory detected reluctance in his voice but she shook it off and continued.

"Rule Number Three:" She lifted three fingers in front of his nose. "Either of us can end this at anytime, especially if number 2 is broken."

Steve reached for her hand and brought her fingers to his lips.

"Uhhuh, got it." He agreed, kissing them. She drew a breath.

"Rule 4: We tell no one."

"Four rules. Easy enough." He pushed his hips closer to her until he was standing flush against the counter.

He brought his hand up to the side of her neck. His thumb rubbed gently over the pulse point.

"You know, I remember kissing you here…" He leant forward, pulling her into his hips in a lazy move that made her heart skip a couple of beats. She was sure he caught the hitch in her breathing just from the way his eyes darkened considerably.

"and here…" He reached her collarbone and continued on. "Here, here and here…" His touch was feather light as it traced over the swell of her breasts. It was like molten lava through the fabric of her dress. His hand slid down until it dropped to her thigh "But I had the most fun when my head was here between your legs and my tongue was licking you from –"

" _Jesus Christ, Steve!_ " Rory's resolve finally snapped. Her cheeks blushed pink as his tongue darted out to lick his lips. God knows where the filthy, unabashed mind had come from but she wasn't about to complain.

He grinned wickedly at her, licking his lips.

"What?" He asked, innocently. He pulled her closer to his hips and she could feel his hardness against her core. A flash of white heat went through her and her hands found the back of his neck. She dug her nails lightly as her legs wrapped around his thighs, anchoring him in place.

"We should move this somewhere else." She gasped, his lips pressing against her neck. She felt the slight scratch of stubble against her soft skin and shivered. "You know, so we don't break rule number 4 already."

He chuckled and nodded.

"Right, rule number 4: Don't' tell anyone." He pulled back and winked. "Let me ditch Flick first because she is definitely not the one I want to take home tonight." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers. He pulled back ever so slightly, his mouth hovering an inch from hers. "She's not the one I want to bend over right here and now and fuck into the counter." His voice was low and she shivered against for an entirely different reason. "Hitch your skirt up, press your breasts into the cold marble, make you come for me…"

" _Steve_!" Rory gasped, her heart thudding in her chest so loud she was sure everyone could hear it.

"Aurora…" He said as he pulled away, his hands pushing up her thighs and under her skirt.

She tightened her legs around him, pulling him in closer to her. Her hands found the back of his neck and he pulled his face to hers, sealing them together with a searing kiss.

Steve groaned into her mouth, his big hands engulfing almost all of her thigh and his fingers brushing the soft fabric of her panties. She rocked forward into him and he slid his hands around to cup her hips. She needed him to touch her, feel how wet she was for him… she needed –

A loud bang sounded as someone's hand pushed the door open.

"Yeah yeah, I know Stark. Top shelf behind the cereal… Thanks."

It was Clint and thankfully Rory had enough time (and sense) to lean over the sink she was next to and tip her water down it, making retching noises for added effect.

Steve easily held her hair back from her shoulders and rubbed the back of her exposed neck, still facing the counter to hide his massive and aching erection.

"Woah, hey guys. I was wondering where you two got to." Clint said as he finally entered the kitchen. Rory was pleased to note there wasn't a hint of suspicion in his voice at all. She made retching noises again and Steve suppressed his laugh by turning on the tap. "Oh kid, you never know when to stop."

"I think it's bedtime for her." Steve chuckled, turning to his friend. He found Clint rummaging around cupboard for whatever he came in to the kitchen for. Rory sat up and leant her head against the cabinets, catching Steve's amused gaze. She winked at him and then closed her eyes.

"Oh yeah, for sure." Clint nodded. He leaned past them to grab a glass of water and downed two tablets. "Pain killers." He replied to Steve's questioning look. "I don't want a headache in the morning."

"Ah. Right." Steve nodded, his hand on Rory's shoulder. His thumb was stroking her pulse point gently and he could feel her heart beating fast under his finger.

"She should probably take some too." Clint held the packaging out for him. Steve took it and popped two tablets, pushing them into Rory's hand. "Hey, listen, did you want me to take care of her so you can get back to Flick?" Clint's voice dropped low and she wondered if she was even supposed to hear.

Steve frowned as he encouraged Rory to take the pain tablets.

"Flick?" He asked.

"Yeah, man. She's totally into you. You can't let this opportunity go." Clint kept talking as Rory swallowed the tablets.

Steve shrugged, leaning over to fill the glass of water up again. "Is she?" He asked nonchalantly, dodging Rory's hands as they brushed against the hard length pressing against his fly. "She's nice, I guess."

"Nice? She's fucking _hot."_ Rory heard the sound of Clint clapping his hand against Steve – probably on the shoulder – and she suppressed a laugh."C'mon Steve, one night of fun with a girl will not ruin your image or whatever. She's totally into you."

"It's Pepper's sister. I don't want to offend Pepper. Not to mention I don't even know the girl…" Steve replied easily. Rory felt his hand come up to her face and she leant into it. "I should make sure this one gets up to bed safely."

"I'm sure she's fine." Clint sighed. Rory felt him tap her cheek sharply and it took all her efforts not to slap him back. "C'mon Rory, don't cockblock the guy!"

Steve laughed. "She's not cockblocking me, Clint - "

"Tell that to Flick - "

"I don't feel so good." She slurred, intervening the argument. She needed whatever Clint was doing to stop so she and Steve could disappear together.

Clint let out a sigh.

"Look, I wouldn't normally give up Natasha _and_ Sharon – " Rory snorted but cleared her throat to cover it. As if _that_ would happen. "but let me take her. You need a night of mindless sex." She felt Clint's warm, calloused hand on her knee and his arm slipped around her waist. Her eyes flew open.

"I'm not having mindless sex with _you_ , Barton!" She exclaimed, her words slurred. She pushed him away and Steve laughed.

"No! Rory that's not…"

It took all that she could not to laugh. "I mean you're _super_ hot and I did used to have a big, stupid crush on you –"

"You did?"

"- waaaay back when you were my SO, but you were married and I was bright-eyed from the academy –" She continued, trying to push away from both of them. She stumbled. "But now you're totally older brother material and I don't think I wanna sleep with my older brother… I mean you're still hot and all, and not married at least – " She gave him an exaggerated squint "But no. No way..."

She stumbled, grabbing hold of Steve as her feet 'gave out' from under her. She glanced up at him to find him red in the face from trying not to laugh.

"That is _so not_ what I meant Aurora." Clint sounded mortified. "Here, let me take you –"

"Nope! I'm fine."

She stumbled again and Steve caught her before she fell.

"C'mon doll, time for bed." He swung her up, his arms under her knees and she let out a squeak.

"You know Tony's never gonna let you live this one down." Clint chuckled, shaking his head. "You've got Flick out there on a string, just waiting for you…"

Steve shrugged. "Rory's my best friend and she's drunk. I think I'll live without the sex." He grinned, making for the doors that lead through the other side of the kitchen so they wouldn't be waylaid anymore. "Can you tell em' –"

"That Rory's a lightweight who can't hold her liquor? Sure, but you're gonna break Flick's heart, Cap." Clint replied with a shake of his head. "You're too good to her, Steve. Don't let her take you for granted."

"She'd do the same for me and you know it, Barton." Steve smiled before pushing through the door.

He held Rory tight in his arms until they made it to her room.

"Smooth." He muttered as she swiped her card to let them both in.

"I thought so." Rory replied. He placed her on her feet as the door swung shut behind them. There was a beat before she was throwing herself at him, pressing him against the very door they'd just come through.

Her lips fused with his, their tongues needing no pause for permission before dancing together in a fierce tango of passion and dominance. He pulled her close, his hands gripping her hips tight enough to hurt and she nipped his bottom lip in response.

A groan pulled from his lips as the pain spiked through the fog and he tore his mouth away from hers to kiss along her jawline and down her neck, leaving stinging bite marks in his lips wake.

Rory's fingers got to work, undoing the buttons of his shirt with ease before it fell open and she could push her hands under to run them along the ridges of his abdomen. The muscles fluttered under her touch and she moaned as his hands slid from her hips to her ass.

"Jesus Christ I have thought about this every day a week straight." Steve's voice was low and raspy in her ear and she shivered.

"You think about what we did that night?" She breathed, her palm stroking down his stomach in one long swipe, coming to rest at the hard bulge in his pants. She stroked him a few times, enjoying the breathless moan it elicited from his lips.

"I think about what else we could have done that night… what else we could do…" He breathed, his hand coming to tangle in her hair.

Rory started working on his belt and pants, taking her time to undo them. "What do I do when you think about it?" She breathed against his lips.

"I think about you above me, riding my cock, tits bouncing – begging me to fuck you harder as you come apart around me." He kissed against her pulse-point and tightened his grip in her hair. She moaned breathlessly, yanking his belt from his hips.

"Fucking hell." She murmured, throwing it to the floor.

He brought his hand up and crooked a finger under her chin. He flicked her bottom lip with his thumb and she snapped her teeth.

"Sometimes, because I usually go a lot at night, sometimes I think about what I did when I buried my face in your tight cunt, licking and sucking until you come in my mouth again."

Rory was finding it more and more difficult to think, to breathe, hell, do anything really. Drunk and horny Steve was definitely her favourite. She'd never much been into someone talking dirty to her but when it was the squeaky clean Captain America – no, _her_ Steve Rogers – then she could make exceptions.

"You really know how to make a girls panties wet, don't you?" She breathed, her tongue darting out to lick her lips.

He scooped her against him, his hands squeezing hard against her ass and he walked them through the apartment until they reached her bed. He dropped her down on it.

"Dress. Off. _Now_." He managed to growl and she stood, her body flush with his as she unzipped the zip and let it fall off her frame It pooled at her feet and he paused, his attention straying from the gorgeous, deep red lace bra she had on, to her panties. "Is that my Shield?" He asked in a choked voice.

"Told you they existed." She smirked, her had straying in front of the blue lace panties that had Steve's Shield blazoned on the crotch in rind stones. "They're actually part of an Avengers set. I thought you'd get a kick out of them." She grinned.

Steve huffed a laugh before he slid is hand into them. "You're so fucking wet for me…" He groaned as his fingers found her core.

Rory gasped and closed her eyes as his fingers ran along her smooth lips. She'd waited for his touch for too long. She bucked against him, trying to get more friction but he chuckled low in his throat.

"Tell me what you want."

"Want you." Rory gripped his shoulders hard, her breath coming out in little, mewling gasps. "I want to –"

"What do you want to do?"

"Fuck you. I want to fuck you." She breathed, gripping his shoulders as his fingers played her like a fiddle.

"Oh sweetheart, it's my lucky night isn't it?" He murmured, taking his hand from her underwear, which elicited a whine on her end. He grinned and tugged on her hands, taking her through her apartment until the bed was in sight. He turned to face her, still walking backward and he drew her in for a long kiss.

His knees hit the mattress and he fell backward, taking her down with him.

She squeaked, laughing lightly at the unexpected movement before she shed her underwear and straddled his hips. His cock was full and hard again and a shiver of satisfaction went up her spine at the thought that she'd done that, and made it happen so fast. She pushed it between her wet slit, his head nudging her sensitive clit just enough that she gasped and tried to grind against it a little more.

He stopped her.

"Nuh uh, doll. I wanna _feel_ you come undone." He murmured, shifting his hips to slide down to her entrance. She let out a whine, which turned into a moan as he thrust up once and entered her. She adjusted her own hips and then he was seated fully inside her, filling and stretching her deliciously. "Fuck me, sweetheart. I wanna see you fuck me."

Fuck, his filthy mouth had her almost undone then and there as she started to rock against him. She reached behind her and unclasped her bra, letting it fall haphazardly to the floor somewhere behind them.

"You're so fucking gorgeous." He said roughly, his hands coming up to palm her breasts. Her nipples pebbled between his fingertips and she bucked harder and harder against him, riding him faster and faster.

The soft curve of his cock hit against the spot deep inside and in only a few, short, minutes she was dropping her head back as she shuddered around him, cursing his name softly to the ceiling.

She took a deep inhale of sweet oxygen, feeling him start to buck under her again and she looked down. His hair was a mess, sweat dotted his brow and there was a flush high on his cheekbones. He looked so thoroughly fucked that she wished she could take a photo to remember it forever.

"What are you looking at, dollface?" his eyes opened and found her immediately.

She smiled, lips curving up coyly, as she lifted off his length almost all the way.

"You." She said as she held herself above him.

"Me?" He asked. "What about me?"

"Wondering where this fucking sex-god came from." She laughed, plunging herself back onto him with a gasp that was echoed by him.

"Military." He grunted, feeling her lift again. "I may have the morals of a saint but 'm still human."

He bucked up to meet her hips this time, enjoying the cuss that fell from her lips. He was so close to the edge again. They fell into a seamless, fast and hard rhythm and it wasn't long before he was holding her still as he came deep inside her, his fingers on her hips tight enough to bruise.

She fell against him limply a few seconds later as her pussy walls clenched tight around him in a silent orgasm. It was a moment before either could move again.

"I'll get us something to clean up with." He murmured as he pushed her to the side, kissing her softly before he rose.

He ducked into her bathroom and wet a face washer under the warm tap. He wiped the slick mixture of the two of them off his cock before he returned to her.

"Oh that's hardly fair." He moaned when he walked back in to find her on her back with her knees up, her legs spread wide and her fingers rubbing her pulsing pussy. She dipped into herself with two fingers, coming out with a slick mess that she rubbed against the sensitive nub at the top of her folds. Steve's brain short-circuited then and there.

He dropped to his knees at the end of the bed, pulling her toward him. He hooked her legs over his shoulder and nuzzled her hands out of the way. He licked her softly, enjoying the soft gasp that came from her mouth and then dipped his tongue into her centre. He tasted himself mixed with her and it went to his head like a shot of fine tequila.

Then he couldn't help himself as he licked and sucked and brought forth an orgasm powerful enough for juices to splash onto his lips and for her to shout his name.

He reached blindly for the cloth and cleaned both of them up before he joined her in her bed. He pulled her close, pressing her naked form against him tightly.

"That was…"

"Fucking amazing." He sighed with content. He nuzzled her hair. "Don't say we can't do it again… please…" There was a pause and Steve's grip tightened around her. "I know it's just fun."

"We have rules now." She said softly. "And it's just fun. As long as that's all it is we can do this. It's just sex."

"Just sex, got it." Steve smiled into the darkness.

"No feelings."

"None."

"No one else knows."

"Definitely not." He agreed with her rules.

She turned her head to look at him, wondering if they knew what they were getting into. "How did this happen?" She said out loud. "Again." She added. He glanced at her.

"Well you're unbelievably sexy and I am just a man." He replied and she laughed.

"You're an idiot to get tangled up with me." She shook her head. "I'm complicated." He kissed her temple and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Sweetheart, you're talking to a 96 year old, genetically engineered soldier who runs around in a Star Spangled outfit on the regular; Complicated is kind of what I do best." She slapped his arm when he laughed. "It's just sex to blow off some steam with someone I trust more than anything. I get that."

"Fair enough..." She nodded, smiling as he rolled on top of her. She could feel his hard length dragging along her belly. "Round two already? Praise the gods for Super Soldiers." She laughed, dragging him down to her for another go.

* * *

Author's Note:

Hey guys, so sorry about the weeklong delay on this but that's probably gonna be the thing from now on. Until I have more of the second one written I don't wanna rush through this one. Sorry but weekly updates are better than none! Hope you enjoyed this chapter… I think there's a few of you jumping for joy haha.

Playlist:

Casual Affair - Panic at the Disco (The song that started EVERYTHING and is where the title is from)

Closer – Nine Inch Nails

Sex – The 1975

Wicked Games – The Weekend

Dirty Little Secret – All American Rejects

I Wanna – All American Rejects


	24. Bruised Skin

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 24: Bruised Skin

* * *

The morning found Rory curled up half on top of Steve, the light pouring over both of them. Her head felt fuzzy but not too far-gone and her body ached in a way that she hadn't felt in a long time. She could tell Steve was awake because he was drawing lazy shapes on her back, his fingers leaving a trail of heat as they crossed her skin.

"Jarvis, can you shut the blinds please?" She murmured, moving off of the nice, hard, warmth that was Steve's chest to stretch. He shifted beside her, his arm snaking out around her back to pull her closer.

"Mornin'," Steve's voice was a low rumble, a slow smile lighting up his face.

"Morning." Rory couldn't help but return the smile as the light in the room dimmed again. "Sleep well?"

"Best sleep I've had in a long time." He nodded, ducking to kiss her softly. "What about you?" He asked when he pulled away. Butterflies swirled in her belly as his hands trailed softly down her sides to come to rest on her ass, pulling her in tightly against the hot erection between them.

"I actually slept if that's what you're asking." She nodded, rolling her hips as heat curled at the apex of her thighs. "Although I could do with a few more hours."

"Hmmm, me too." Steve nodded, pressing a kiss to her jawbone. He drew a line with his tongue against her sensitive skin and she shivered. "You doin' anything today?"

"Nuh uh." She shook her head. His hand slid from her ass and down her thigh, coming to grip the back of her knee. He pulled it up around his hip and pushed forward, seating the hard length of his cock against her core. "Maybe you a couple of times." She corrected in a breathy voice.

The devil's grin was back again as he pushed her gently onto her back. "That would be correct." He nodded, rocking his hips forward to slide his length along her slit. A moan left her lips and she rolled her hips to meet him. "After all, an orgasm is good for a hangover, right?"

"So they say." She nodded, lifting her chin to fuse their mouths together. He entered her in a lazy movement, her cry muffled by his mouth against hers. She was still sore from the previous night but it was delicious and quickly turning into a white heat that ached so wonderfully.

He cradled her against him, one arm wrapped around body to secure her against his chest and the other running up and down her thigh as he pulled in and out of her. She felt divine, tight and hot and slick and it didn't take him long to spill into her with a soft groan. He kept his movement going, feeling her slip a hand between them to bring herself to climax. He loved the noises she made, the breathy cries and the soft mewling. They almost had him hard again.

"That's certainly one way to wake up." She breathed finally, her head spinning. He kissed her gently, still holding her gently against him. "You're incredibly good at both fast and slow."

"Both have their perks." He smiled.

She returned it, rolling out of his grasp. "Morning calls…" She muttered as she stood. She let out a groan as she stood and Steve laughed.

"Sore?"

"It's been a while since I was fucked so thoroughly and for so long." She admitted over her shoulder as she padded to her bathroom. She lost count after the fourth round but they had gone for an obscene amount of time. Her legs actually hurt a little from being spread for so long.

Ah, she'd missed that feeling.

"Holy shit." She muttered when she caught sight of her reflection as she washed her hands. Bruises dotted her skin around her collarbone and shoulders. Turning she could see an almost perfect handprint on her ribs and her hips, _god her hips_. They looked like she'd been pinned down by… well… a _Super solider_.

She ran her fingers over them, knowing Steve would freak when he saw what he'd done. She knew he'd been holding her tightly but this was obscene. She hadn't felt a thing though so she wasn't mad. It was actually a little exciting to be marked in such an explicit way. She just wouldn't be able to wear anything too revealing for a little while. At least there were none on her neck or forearms and bangles and a watch could hide the ones around her wrists.

She padded back into the room, trying her best to cover her body but she knew the exact moment he saw them because he sat up in the bed and reached for her.

"What the hell did I do?" He sounded horrified, his grip as loose as he could make it as his hands settled on her waist.

"Don't freak out." She held her hands up to him, kneeling on the bed in front of him. "I'm ok –"

"That doesn't look ok!" He pointed to two particularly dark ones on her hipbones. He placed his hands against them and found his thumbs fit perfectly into the marks. "Fucking hell, I'm so sorry –"

"Shh, I didn't even feel it." She shook her head, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair. "It was fun."

"You're bruised, everywhere!" He pulled her closer so he could examine every inch of her. His fingers ran lightly over them, tracing the dark one on her hip that made her tattoo disappear into it. Some were hickeys made by his lips but his hands had made the vast majority. He looked so distressed that a low chuckle escaped her throat. "I am so sorry."

"Shut up, it was fun." She smiled. "I'll just have to steer clear of bikinis and gym gear for a while." She shrugged. "No big."

Steve dropped his head into his hands. "I marked you." He couldn't take his eyes off the dark marks marring her creamy skin.

"Yeah, during sex that was so good it literally blew my mind. I am _so_ not complaining." She chuckled, pushing on his chest until he was lying down again. She seated herself on his cock, feeling it already semi-hard beneath her. "Besides," she said softly as she rocked against him. "The serum I have will taken care of them in a day or two."

Steve's eyes went from glazed to surprise in a matter of seconds. "Serum?"

"Well, yeah. You've never wondered why I heal so quick?" She shrugged. "Grandma and Pa had already started taking The Infinity Serum before my dad was born. It was in his blood and now it's in mine. Diluted, but there enough that I can reap the benefits of healing quick and aging a little slower than normal."

"How didn't I know this?" His eyebrow rose as he gave her a stern look. She shrugged.

"Because not many people do. It's not even actually in my SHIELD file. Grandma was worried that if it fell into the wrong hands then it would make me a target for a mad scientist or something." Rory explained with a small smile.

Steve fell silent for a few minutes and Rory rolled her hips against him again. He groaned and glanced at her.

"Stop thinking about it. I'm fine." She smiled. Rolling her hips again, she reached for his hands and placed them on his hips. His grip was gentle and soft and she pressed his fingers into her already bruised flesh. "I like it when you're rough." She smiled, leaning down to kill him. She nipped his lip, eliciting a groan from him and his hips rolled into hers in response. "Bruises fade."

"Shouldn't have been there in the first place."

"But wasn't it fun putting them there?" She grinned, raising herself up just enough so she could place him inside of her. She slid onto him easily and his fingers tightened on her skin. "Just like that." She whispered, lifting herself up again to drop back down. His hips snapped up to meet hers and she moaned in response.

He smoothed his hand from her hips to her breasts, taking them both in his palm to play with. While they weren't big, they were still impressive, filling his palms just right. Her nipples pebbled under his touch and he sat up to bring one to his mouth.

"Oh, yes." She hissed, her head dropping back. "Like that, Steve." His name from her lips sent shivers down his spine. "Make me come again." She said to the roof, her throat exposed to him. He sucked on the creamy flesh on the inside of her breast, leaving another mark there. It came with a self satisfied feeling, like she was his –

The thought stopped dead in his mind. She wasn't his really. Only now, like this. He couldn't let himself get carried away.

Her lips around his fingers distracted him from his trail of thought and he watched as she removed his fingers from her mouth and placed his hand in between where they were joined, palm up so his fingers could press against her clit.

He curled them up and watched as her eyes fluttered closed, her chest heaved and her red locks cascaded over her breasts as she came around him. God she was beautiful when she was like this. Incredibly sexy and so unabashed.

He couldn't hold it any longer.

In one swift move he flipped her off of him and crowded over her, entering her again and again in quick, hard thrusts. He pulled out at the last moment to spill over her abdomen, groaning into her ear.

"Fucking amazing." She breathed, stroking her fingers through his silky hair, still coming down from her high. She felt him relax against her, his face still pressed into her neck and he shifted to the side ever so slightly so he wasn't crushing her. "This was the best idea."

"Was it ever? I don't think I'll need to come for a week." Steve groaned, feeling his slick mess smear onto his stomach as he moved. There wasn't as much as there could have been. The multiple rounds and once already that morning had taken care of that.

Still, a shower called for both of them and he wondered if she'd let him fuck her in there. He'd never done that before. His cock gave a half assed twitch and decided that that could wait for later. He wasn't going to be up for any action anytime soon.

"What're you thinking about?" She asked, still playing with his hair.

"You and me in a shower to clean up the mess I made." He murmured. "But I don't think I'm up for another round right now."

Rory laughed. "That's ok. I'm sure there'll be another time. I mean you have a _whole_ new apartment to christen yet." She grinned and he lifted his head, torn between asking her if she was sure couldn't be something more and not saying a damn thing.

"That sounds like a job for a weekend or two." He laughed, deciding not to say anything.

"I'll let you know when I'm free." She smiled, her eyes closing. He kissed her temple and reached for the cloth on the nightstand before to clean her up. He tossed it toward the bathroom and then he lay beside her, pulling her back against his front to sleep for a little longer.

It was after lunchtime when the two finally roused and ventured from the room, both stomachs growling loudly.

"Do you think anyone's down there?" Rory asked as she padded out of her bedroom door behind Steve.

"Probably." He replied with a shrug, rubbing the back of his head. "We were all pretty –" he cut himself off as his eyes caught sight of Rory's living room, littered with papers and files and maps. He hadn't noticed it the night before because he'd been so preoccupied with her but he could see it now and his stomach tightened in fear. He recognised what this was but he hoped he was wrong.

"Pretty what?" She interrupted him as he came to an abrupt stop.

"Tight." Steve finished absently "Drunk." He clarified for her. He walked closer to the walls of her living room, realising that all of this was her research for finding Helmut Zemo. "You've been busy."

"Well yeah," She said from behind him. "Gotta catch the bastard some how."

He glanced at her, fear spiking his heart a little more. "This is a lot of work for one person, sweetheart." He said, turning to look again. She had three or four different trails, all mapped out in different coloured string. It was an impressive display of her intellect but he worried she was getting too involved.

"Some of it's Pa's. He sent me his old leads and I pieced them together with stuff I'd found. Zemo's been a very busy man for a very long time. He's got a lot of aliases I'm finding." She crossed her arms over her chest and leant against the back of her sofa.

"What are you gonna do when you finally track him down?" Steve turned to face her. He watched as her face hardened and her eyes narrowed.

"Kill him."

"Don't do it alone." He replied. "You know I'm here to help you."

She smiled and some of the hardness dissipated. "I know." She nodded. "I won't. I promised Pa I wouldn't."

Steve nodded and joined her around the other side of the sofa. "Good." He kissed her cheek before he walked to the door. "After lunch you can brief me on what you found."

"Aye aye Captain." Rory laughed, giving him a mock salute before following him as he made for the door.

They entered the kitchen to find most of the team already there, Natasha and Bruce standing side by side at the stove cooking something that smelled delicious. Rory's mouth watered.

"She lives." Arthur said as Rory pulled up a seat beside him. Steve went to the fridge to pull out the milk. "How's your head?"

"Fine. Sore but not too bad. Steve made me drink like a gallon of water before I could fall asleep." She rolled her eyes, easily avoiding the truth.

"And did you wake up with a headache?" He spoke teasingly from where he was pouring his milk into a glass.

"A slight one but not as bad as it could have been." She admitted with a small smile. A plate of pancakes slid in front of her nose, complete with a side of bacon and she smiled up at Bruce who'd put them there. "I think I actually love you, Bruce." She smiled, her eyes closing as she inhaled the scent.

The doctor just smiled and turned back to the stove.

Clint sidled up across the counter to Rory as she dug into her food, leaning toward her on his elbows. Steve took her other side, stealing a rasher of bacon as he waited for his own plate. Rory swatted him and then glanced at Clint who was staring intently at her. Did he know what she and Steve had done? Could he see just how thoroughly fucked she was? Had they made a mistake in coming down together? She kept her face passive and looked down at her plate.

"What, Barton?" She snapped finally, feeling unnerved by his staring. A smug little grin appeared on the archers face.

"I'm _super hot,_ huh?"

She exhaled loudly with relief. "Oh _Jesus_ , is that is?" Rory slapped her palm to her forehead.

"Big stupid crush on me, huh?"

"Oh good, you told him!" Arthur grinned. Rory slapped him.

"Yeah drunkenly last – wait you knew?" Clint stared at Arthur for a second. "And you didn't tell me!?"

"Teasing her about it was the highlight of our training." Arthur grinned, winking at Rory. She pulled a face, rolling her eyes.

"Not like you would have done anything, Barton." Natasha rolled her eyes. "Peggy Carter would have shot you."

"So would Dum Dum." Clint muttered. He propped his chin up on his hand and grinned at her. "Having a crush on the older, wiser, hotter and married S.O.. How clichéd of you, Rory."

"And yet you noticed nothing. How typical of you, Clint." Rory smiled sweetly at him, the others snickering around them. "Good thing I came to my senses, huh?" Clint let out a laugh, shaking his head.

"Don't think I'm gonna let this go, Dugan."

"Oh I know you won't." She sighed, reminding herself that the night had definitely been worth letting the secret out. Steve's arm knocked against hers and she glanced at him, finding him devouring three pancakes in almost one bite.

"AURORA DUGAN!" She, and everyone else in the kitchen, jumped when someone yelled her name from the doorway.

"Tony Stark?" She called back, watching as the billionaire paced across the room. He stopped in front of her, swivelling her around her the barstool she was seated on and placed his hands on her shoulders. Rory grabbed her plate of pancakes before it disappeared behind her.

"How _could_ you?" He sounded horrified and Rory's eyebrows knitted together. Did _he_ know, somehow? This _was_ his tower. Maybe Jarvis had snitched. She stuffed some pancakes in her mouth.

"'ow coul I wha?" She said in a muffled voice.

" _Cockblock_ Steve!"

"Huh?" She frowned, trying to work out what he meant by cockblocking. Tony pointed a finger in her face.

"You better be hungover as all hell in punishment for ruining this man's chances at _finally_ getting laid." Tony clapped Steve on the back, causing the soldier to choke loudly on his food.

"Oh. _That_." Rory said flatly, shaking her head as she turned back around to put her plate on the counter. "Trust me, I'm hung over, Tony. I didn't mean to pull him away from Flick."

"But you did! So typical of you." Tony rolled his eyes dramatically.

"Tony, knock it off." Steve sighed, turning to look at him over his shoulder. Steve's cheeks were stained pink and Rory wanted to laugh. "It's perfectly fine."

"It was rude of her."

"I was drunk! I didn't _ask_ him to look after me."

"You don't have to." Tony threw his hands up. He pointed at her again. "You're brilliant at getting the guys around this place to do your bidding – AHHH!" Tony let out a yell as she grabbed his finger and yanked down hard.

"I'm too hungover for your bullshit and I'm only going to say this once," She sighed, holding the finger in a vice grip as she turned for some more food. She speared some pancakes delicately before turning back around. She could hear Clint losing it behind her and she struggled not to laugh at the billionaire's stricken look. "It's Steve's choice whether he wants to help me or sleep with Flick. It's not yours so knock it off."

She glanced up to find all eyes in the room on her, some looking horrified, some scared and some, like Natasha, Pepper and Sharon, looking very proud. Steve was just laughing silently beside her. Clint was on the floor, tears rolling down his cheeks.

The door opened again and Rory glanced up to see Pepper and Flick entering. She felt mildly guilty for taking Steve from the other woman but also kinda victorious. Flick didn't look at either of them as she walked past, making for the coffee machine without a word.

Pepper however stopped, rolling her eyes.

"What'd he do now?" She sighed, taking something out of a file she was holding.

"Oh just his usual charming self." Rory replied, letting the finger go. Tony shook his hand hard, grumbling about not being a child anymore.

"Of course." Pepper shook her head as she looked at Tony. "You need to choose invitations today." She said, handing him a navy blue piece of card.

"It's a Saturday. Why are you working?" Tony asked, taking the card and peering at it. Rory peered over his hands and found it was a very nice invitation from Stark Industries inviting people to a charity event.

"Because these should have gone to print yesterday." Pepper replied, handing him a second one. "Pick a colour, Tony."

"Hmmm…"

"The navy and white." Rory replied, bringing her coffee mug up to her lips.

"But my colours are red and gold" Tony argued and Rory glanced at the other one.

"It's tacky. Navy and white are elegant. What's the invite for?" She asked.

"A ball to celebrate how far the city has come since the invasion. October 6th is the 6 month anniversary. I figured all the proceeds will go toward rebuilding the rest of the city since I can't fund everything myself." He said, peering between the two invitations.

"That's a great idea." Bruce said, looking over the top of his news paper.

"Yeah Stark. It's nice to see you have a heart that's not made out of metal." Natasha said dryly. Tony let out an obnoxious huff but didn't deny it.

"Go with the red." He handed the invites back to Pepper.

"Blue it is." She murmured, tucking them back into a file. Rory snorted into her coffee.

"Blue is the most patriotic colour." She said, keeping her face straight. Steve laughed lightly and knocked her knee with his under the counter.

"Yeah well, I guess we may as well make it Captain America themed. It's already 1940s décor," Tony said, pouring a second mug of coffee. "You can thank me later Cap." He winked and Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Why would I thank you?"

"Because you'll feel right at home with all the dames in pretty frocks all waiting in line to dance with you." Tony grinned and Steve shook his head.

"I may not have a dance for them if I take my best gal." Steve elbowed Rory, who snorted and shook her head.

"I'll ask Grandma if she's free." Rory winked and the rest laughed. Steve looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Dugan might kill me for stealing his girl." He replied, wondering what Rory would look like all dolled up like the women of his day. He would put money on her being a total knock out, he was sure of it and he couldn't actually wait for October to be there.

"Say, Cap. You should take Flick as your date." Tony said in a loud and obnoxious voice. Steve and Felicity looked up and glanced at each other at the same time. Rory swallowed a particularly big lump of pancake, choking on it with a loud cough.

"I uh…"

"He doesn't…"

"I don't even know if I'm going and –"

"You are." Tony said immediately. "The more Avengers I have there, the bigger the crowd. Proceeds Steve. Think of the proceeds."

"Well I don't even know if _I'm_ going." Felicity said stiffly, tucking some hair over her ear. "So we'll figure it out closer to the date, ok?" Her eyes flickered to Rory, who swiftly looked away again. Guilt crowded her stomach lightly again and she tried to keep the smug smile off her lips. Steve had basically asked her, Flick would be stupid if she'd missed it.

"Suit yourself, I was only trying to help." Tony shrugged. He then clapped his hands, rubbing them together. Clint groaned.

"Why aren't you hungover?" He muttered, holding his head.

"My body is 90% alcohol, Barton, I don't get hungover." Tony replied, offhandedly before he turned on his heel and disappeared from the kitchen.

Pepper sighed, "No wait, there's more I need you to do…" She called after him, following him quickly. Felicity went with her, without a word to anyone else. Rory could have sworn she shot a dirty look in her direction but she shrugged it off.

"I think she's mad." Clint said as the door swung shut. Natasha smacked him lightly over the back of the head.

"Shut up." She muttered.

"What? He did leave her hanging." Clint rubbed his head.

"I didn't mean to…" Steve said, his eyes still on the door. "Should I go talk to her?"

"It's not like you promised to take her home." Rory said lightly. She could feel Natasha's eyes on the side of her head and she kept her eyes low. "She'll get over it."

She heard Natasha laugh softly and she wondered if the Russian knew their secret. She let out a quiet snort. Of _course_ the Russian knew.

* * *

 _POLICE REPORT: OFFICER MIAMI METRO P.D. 13-11-1990_

 _On 13-11-1990 at approximately 1045 hours I received a report of a foul smell coming from Acqualina Resort and Spa On The Beach, Sunny Isles Beach, Florida USA. Upon arrival I was contacted by Hotel Security who stated that occupants on the #12 floor, west side, had started complaining about a funny smell for three days before today they were very irate and close to leaving. My partner, Sargent ***** ***** requested a key to room 1238 as that was the most common complaint as to where the smell was coming from. The room had been rented to a Mr Rick Jones yet he had not been seen for many days. The room was opened at approximately 1115 hours and we discovered the body of two deceased females who had multiple lacerations over their body and ligature marks around their necks and wrists. Homicide was brought in as the circumstances were suspicious and it was concluded that the women were tortured and then murdered by way of their throats being slit –_

" _Aurora_!"

"WHAT!?" Rory shrieked, dropping the file that had been under her nose to find Steve standing over her. light in the room was dim, the sun almost settled behind the Manhattan skyline and she realised she'd been so engrossed with her work that more than a few hours had passed. Her stereo blared at full volume, drowning out any background noise and she reached to turn it down.

"I knocked on the door for five minutes before Jarvis let me in, what are you doing?" Steve said, his voice coloured with concern as he sat beside her.

Rory ran her hand through her hair, ordering Jarvis to turn some lights on. She blinked at the sudden brightness and scrubbed a hand down the side of her face.

"A friend of mine from the Miami PD sent me some stuff on a guy called Rick Jones. These are the case files." She handed them over to him, her heart still thudding in her chest. She'd been in her own little world reading about the grisly murders committed over 20 years prior. "What time is it?" She asked, rubbing her eyes.

"A little after 6, we're going out with Arthur and Darcy, remember? Nat called and I invited her too. She'll probably bring Clint…" He asked absently, skimming the files.

"That's cool." Rory nodded, stretching her arms and cracking her neck. "What's in the bag?" She noted the plastic bag over his wrist.

"I don't know, it was on your door handle." He shrugged and handed it to her. She frowned and looked inside.

"What the…" She murmured as she pulled a pink blanket with flowers on it out of the bag. "This was my blanket from when I was a kid…" She said softly, wondering if her Pa had left it last time he was here.

Steve didn't hear her, his eyes glued to the file in his hands. He choked when he came across the graphic crime scene images. "What the hell _is_ this?!" He held up a picture of a woman strewn over a bloody floor, a deep gash in her throat, her eyes listless and open wide from fear.

"Another alias for Zemo." Rory stuffed the blanket back into the bag and pushed it to the side. "Rick Jones was the name that was connected to the car that hit my parents. Turns out he had a warrant out for his arrest in five states."

"For murder."

"Specifically torture and slitting throats." She nodded. Steve glanced at her and sighed, shutting the folder up and dropping it on a precariously balanced pile the coffee table. "I think he did this _before_ he killed my parents."

"When did you last sleep?" He asked after a minute, peering at the dark circles under her eyes.

"When did I last stay at your place?" She asked as she tried to remember. It hadn't been that long had it?

"Saturday night?"

"Saturday, then." She muttered, rubbing her eyes. She fought a yawn just thinking about it.

"Aurora, it's now Tuesday…" She could hear the groan in his voice and didn't look up.

"I've had four or five hours here and there, don't worry. I got a couple on the helicarrier yesterday waiting for you guys to get back." She smiled at him. "I'm ok." She insisted but she knew he wasn't buying it. Steve worried too much about her. He was always telling her to sleep or eat or something. She was a woman possessed, hell bent on finding this bastard and making him pay. He didn't need to worry.

Steve shook his head and placed a hand on her shoulder. His fingers dug into her muscles and she let out a small moan. "You need to sleep, we've talked about this."

"and I do sleep." She nodded, dropping her head so it hung between her shoulders. She turned her back on him and he placed his other hand on her neck. His fingers were like heaven as they kneaded her cramped muscles. "But I'll sleep a hell of a lot easier when I know he's dead."

"You're working too hard. Between this and SHIELD… when was the last time you did anything fun?"

A slow smile slid onto Rory's face. "I distinctly remember Saturday night being fun." She murmured with a slight laugh.

Steve smiled, edging closer to her. "Well I guess you might be due for some more then, hmm?"

Rory lifted her head to look over her shoulder at him. "I thought we were going out?" She asked, her eyebrows rising.

Steve shrugged. "I'm early and they can wait." He dropped his lips to her shoulder and she shivered. She pulled out her phone and texted Arthur that she was running late for their dinner and movie date with he and Darcy.

His hands returned to her neck and it took all her strength not to moan loudly. She let out a squeak as Steve stood, lifting her into his arms in a swift movement that had her stomach flipping. "I can walk."

"This is much easier." He murmured, nuzzling the side of her face. She smelled like coconut again. That smell was quickly becoming his favourite in the world. "I want you to take off everything and lay face down on the bed." He ordered, trying not to make his voice sound so Captain America-ish as he placed her feet back on the ground.

Still, she laughed and saluted him. "Aye aye, Captain." She winked, pulling her cami over her head and reaching behind to unclasp her bra. Steve tore his eyes away to pick up her phone and scroll through her music until he found her favourite playlist for relaxing. Music started playing softly and he reached to dim the lights.

"What're you doing this for?" Rory asked, turning her head to look over her shoulder at Steve.

"You need to get out of your head for a little while." He said as he kicked off his shoes. He dropped his jeans and boxers to the floor and pulled his own t-shirt over his head. He joined Aurora on the bed, kissing up her back as he slowly made his way to the pillows.

"Sex with you always manages to do that." She said as she settled against her pillows. Her eyes closed as she waited for him.

"Yeah, but I happen to know you really like massages." He smiled as he reached for the lotion on her bedside table. He pumped some into his palm to warm it, losing himself a little in the coconut scent, before he placed his hands on the smooth expanse of her back.

She let out a low and breathy moan, one that made his cock twitch and demand attention, but he ignored it as he started kneading her muscles, working out any knots that he found within them. He worked his way down her spine, his thumbs working their magic little by little. By the time he reached her glutes her entire body felt like jelly.

"You really know how to treat a girl, Steve." She sighed, unable to move due to how relaxed it currently was. Steve smiled and pressed his lips to the small of her back.

"Are you relaxed?" He asked, kissing up her spine as he crawled up her body again.

"Very." She nodded. His lips brushed her ear and she shivered. She felt his hard length pressed against the curve of her ass and she pushed up into him. It slid against the groove of her cheeks and he let out a groan. She turned her head and captured his lips with hers, her tongue slipping between them to taste him. His hips rolled against her again and she fisted the sheets. "We're going to be really late, aren't we?"

"They can wait." Steve murmured again, against her throat. He nipped and then licked her sensitive skin as his knee parted her legs slightly. "You're always so wet for me." He murmured into her ear as his smooth cock pressed against her entrance.

"You make it very easy." She said softly, arching up to meet him. He slid inside her slowly, stretching her. His hand found hers on the sheet and their fingers tangled together.

He pushed in and out of her in smooth movements, feeling the slow burn turn into a raging fire until he could barely hold on. He rolled to his side and pulled her into him, their bodies fitting together easily and simply. His hand ran down along her side and hip and it dipped between her folds. She let out a moan as his hand found her sensitive nub and he played her like a fiddle until she was coming undone in his arms.

With a few more strokes he came too and for a few minutes the two lay against each other, coming down slowly of their high. Steve kissed her neck and stroked her skin and she was very nearly asleep until her phone rang on the table beside them and she had to roll over to answer it.

"Dugan?" She answered it, trying not to sound post-orgasmic and breathless. Steve's hand found her hip and pulled her close again.

" _Roar, where are you? We're heading to Joe's now, are you still coming?"_ Natasha's voice came down the line and Rory held her breath. She vaguely knew JOe's was a bar in midtown but past that her brain was friend. Steve's fingers were snaking down lower and lower and she could barely think.

"Yeah, I got held up with something. Steve's here to pick me up…" Her breath shuddered a little as he stroked between her legs.

" _Yeah?"_ Natasha sounded like she was smirking. " _Dare I ask_?"

"I was at the gym, Tasha. We'll be there in 20, I just gotta shower."

" _Mhm, we'll see you both soon."_ The line went dead and Rory groaned.

"It's shit like that that's going to get us caught, Soldier." She swatted his hands and started to pull away. "I think Natasha knows."

"I wouldn't be surprised if she did." Steve muttered, his hands grabbing for purchase of her skin. She dodged him though and stood, stretching her arms above her head. "She wouldn't say anything though."

"No but she will walk around with a smirk on her face and make it impossibly awkward." Rory glanced over she shoulder as she crossed to her bathroom to take a quick shower. "I'm surprised others haven't noticed."

"We're subtle and Tony's 'Virginal Saint Steven' jokes are working in our favour." Steve grinned, stretching out on her bed. "Would it be so bad if they did know though?"

Rory picked up a towel and turned the shower on. "To them, probably not, save for Tony's impossible de-flowering jokes. To SHIELD however…" She shrugged a shoulder. "I like my job and even though this is nothing more than sex," She noticed a minute change in Steve's face in the dim light but she ignored it like she always did. There was no use reading into something that wasn't there. "They'll probably have something to say about it. _Especially_ Holstein. It's a rule for a reason, Steve."

"Yeah, you're right." Steve nodded finally, sitting up to find his clothes. "Whether they know or not doesn't really matter."

"Besides, keeping it a secret is fun." Rory smiled before she disappeared under the steaming jets of water.

* * *

Author's Note:

As promised, your weekly update. Let me know what you think via kudos, likes, comments, sharing around with friends anything! Thank you for reading!

Playlist:

Talkin' Body - Tove Lo

Earned It - The Weekend

Face in the Pillow - Natasha Mosley


	25. Watcher

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 25: Blanket

* * *

Rory stared down at the intel for the mission she was headed out on, trying not to feel disappointed she hadn't seen Steve before she left. They had a ritual before missions now since she was reinstated which was they would at least steal a kiss for good luck before either of them left. Today however Steve's session with Holstein had conflicted with her leaving time and she hadn't been able to see him. She was disappointed as his kisses were amazing but more importantly, his words of encouragement stayed with her throughout her entire mission which helped a lot.

She could feel her bottom lip sticking out a mile but kept her eyes studiously on her intel. It wasn't like she _needed_ the kiss from him. She just… liked it. Like the thrill of stealing something no one else knew about. Secrets were always fun, especially in a place that thrived on finding out secrets.

"Dugan? You with us?" Clint kicked the toe of her boot to get her attention and she looked up with wide eyes.

"What?" She asked, blinking at him and Agent Grant Ward in confusion.

"We asked if you were ready for this?" Grant replied, his raised eyebrows coming off disbelieving and arrogant. Her eyes narrowed. She did not like that man at all.

"Of course I'm ready." She snapped, her gaze sliding over to Clint.

"Good. Would hate to put down in the report that you were distracted and your psych picked up on it. There are lots of ways they could interpret that." Ward continued, his arms folding across his broad chest.

Rory's head whipped up and she narrowed her eyes as she looked at his smirking face. How did he know about that? No one was meant to know about her sessions with Holstein. It was meant to be confidential but apparently SHIELD was really great at letting things leak. She opened her mouth to reply but Clint spoke instead.

"Knock it off, Ward. It'll be good to work with Rory again." Clint grinned, dropping into the seat beside her. Ward waved a hand and walked to the other side of the Quinjet to check his phone. Rory rolled her eyes.

The two had never gotten along. He'd been the year below her at the academy and their paths had only crossed a handful of times. Every single time she was reminded of why she didn't like him.

"Arrogant son of a bitch, isn't he?" She commented coolly, her eyes dropping back to her tablet.

"He doesn't usually work on a team but we've been ordered to try something new with him." Clint shrugged. "He's the best at what he does. Almost beat Natasha and Melinda's scores. Just under yours, actually."

"Oh I know." She said, rolling her eyes. "I've been told. Still doesn't make him any less of an asshole."

"Hey, c'mon kid, I'm really glad to have you with me on this. It'll be just like old times except you know what you're doing this time." Clint elbowed her affectionately. "Just don't go getting that crush on me again, huh?" he grinned as she glanced up at him. She poked her tongue out and shoved him back lightly. "Or do. It's totally up to you. Probably wouldn't say no. I _am_ single now." He chuckled, holding up his hands. He winked at her and she laughed.

"Barton!" She exclaimed, shoving his shoulder a little harder.

"I'm just saying! I'm not married anymore. You're older and wiser…"

"Ugh, wise enough to know better. You're older too, you ass." She laughed, shaking her head. "So this girl…" She gestured to the intel on her lap. "You think Hydra will make a play for her on this mission?"

"We have a decent feeling that we're gonna get in there first. We hope to anyway." Clint nodded, glancing down at the image of their target. "She's crazy powerful so we need to really be on our toes with her."

Rory nodded and clicked open the file again. Jessica Drew. Age 23. Tall, blonde and superpowered like hell. Raised by Hydra but broke away from them when she was 19 and went into hiding. "We've been searching for her for 12 months?"

"Yeah I remember, I was there when Fury found her the first time and told her the truth about her life. She didn't take it too well and did a runner on us."

"I would probably run too." Rory muttered, looking at the face of the blonde in the photo.

"The girl packs a serious punch with those bioelectric stings though. I watched her take down 6 of our men without even blinking." Clint rubbed the back of his neck. "She's fucking hot." Rory smacked his chest with the back of her hand. "What? I have a thing for blondes."

"And brunettes and red heads and just about every colour on the spectrum." She rolled her eyes, turning off the screen.

"Yeah but the only one I actually married was a blonde so I'm putting it down as my preference." Clint muttered, rolling his eyes.

Rory smiled. "So what's the plan?"

"Plan is we've sent her an invitation to an exclusive club opening in London. The Excelsior. She'll be there and we'll corner her in the club." Clint explained, clicking his own tablet on and showing her pictures of the club in question.

"You're gonna shove me in a short skirt and heels and make me bond with her, aren't you?" Rory groaned.

"Well, yeah. How else are you gonna blend in?" Clint shrugged. "I'm glad to have you here." He smiled and Rory rested her head on his shoulder. She sighed lightly, closing the file.

"I just hate feeling like my every move is being scrutinised. I found out my parents were murdered, big deal." She explained to him after a few seconds, wishing she could talk to Steve about the nerves in her stomach. She'd been back on 3 missions but this one was bigger than those and more like what she used to do. She knew all eyes were on her on this one, to make sure she didn't have a mental break or some shit like that. It frustrated her, made her doubt herself.

"You've also decided to run yourself into the ground by searching for their killer. That is the big deal, cupcake." Clint shook his head. "Fury's worried about you. I mean, how many bosses can say they watched their agent grow up?"

"I guess."

"You know I'm right."

Rory's phone buzzed and she pulled it out. Clint stood up. "It'll be just like old times, I know it." He ruffled her hair. "Get some sleep, Dugan." He said, "That's an order." he added before he walked away,

Rory smiled and looked down at her phone.

 **1 New Message  
Rogers, Steve:  
I missed our  
kiss :(**

The tension she didn't realise she was holding seemed to evaporate from her body and she moved to the back of the quinjet where there was a bunk waiting for her.

 _Reply:  
You did but  
I guess I'll  
forgive you._

She slid into the bunk on the left and curled up as best she could. Her phone buzzed again.

 **1 New Message  
Rogers, Steve:  
You guess? You're  
gonna make me beg,  
aren't you?**

She smiled.

 _Reply:  
On your knees type deal._

She didn't have to wait long for the next message.

 **1 New Message  
Rogers, Steve:  
For you, doll,  
anything. Where  
are you going?**

 _Reply:  
London. We're  
about 5 hours  
out. I've been  
ordered to sleep._

 **1 New Message  
Rogers, Steve:  
You should** _ **.**_ **You  
haven't slept in  
days. **

_Reply:  
I slept the other day  
with you._

 **1 New Message  
Rogers, Steve:  
Yeah, because I  
exhausted you. **

A thrill went down Rory's spine. It had been three weeks that they'd been secretly screwing behind everyone's backs and the only time she really slept was when she was with him. There was a safety net when he was around and she knew that if she had a nightmare he would wake her up and protect her from her own mind.

 _Reply:  
Well I'll try and  
sleep but I think  
I might need exhausting  
again…_

 **1 New Message  
Rogers, Steve:  
That can definitely  
be arranged,  
sweetheart. When  
you get back.  
Go and sleep. You'll  
be great I know it. X**

Rory smiled as she clicked off her phone and she closed her eyes feeling a little more confident about the mission at hand.

* * *

The music was loud and full of base that reverberated through Rory's core as she walked around the club beside Grant. The drink in her hand was a prop to try and blend with their surroundings.

Jessica, who they'd found after they realised she'd dyed her hair brown instead of her natural blonde, was on the dance floor with Clint, dancing closely with him. Her hands were everywhere and Clint looked like a cat that ate the canary. Twice he'd muttered into the earpieces about this being the best gig ever and Rory had had to remind him that this was a retrieval op and not a Saturday night pick-up.

Rory sipped her drink, standing beside Ward while she watched both Jessica and the crowd for signs of Hydra closing in. So far it seemed pretty tame, Jessica was dancing with a guy who seemed to be struck dumb by her.

"Can't we wrap this up now?" Ward asked after a moment. He looked bored and rigid and it was hard for Rory to imagine Ward ever having fun.

"Give him a bit to invite her outside at least." Rory replied dryly, sipping her drink. "I mean he's good but he's not _that_ good." Her eyes scanned over the crowd, trying to pick out anyone who looked suspicious. No one seemed out of place at all in the packed club. Everyone was smiling, having a good time.

Except one face that she spotted across the bar. A face that haunted her dreams and plagued her thoughts.

Zemo.

A smile spread across his face when their eyes locked in the flashing strobe lights. Blood pounded in Rory's ears, blocking out the music. She stepped away from Ward, her mind and eyes locked onto Zemo, needing to get to him through the crowd. She reached for the gun inside her purse…

Ward grabbed her arm.

"What are you doing?"

"Huh?" She tugged away from him, not taking her eyes off Zemo. Her drink sloshed in the glass, spilling on her dress and shoes. "Let me go, Zemo is here… He's –" Two people crossed in front of her vision and when they moved, Zemo had vanished. "Shit." She swore, darting away from Ward. She shoved through the crowd, toward where she'd last seen him. Her head whipped from side to side as she looked for him. She teetered on her shoes as she turned a complete circle.

" _North, what the hell are you doing?_ " Clint said in the earpiece, his voice muffled.

"Zemo's here, Hawk… He's…" She paused, placing her finger to her ear. The music was louder now and she was having trouble hearing. Spots tingled her vision as she started to panic.

" _Are you sure?_ "

"Yes." She nodded. Ward was right at her side again, pulling her the other way. "No… I don't know I only… I only caught a glimpse."

"Can we focus on the mission, please?" Ward asked her, letting out an impatient sigh.

" _Rory, focus on the mission and we'll look for Zemo soon. He may be here for her,"_ Clint said. There was a pause and Rory heard a swallow as he downed his drink. " _Which means we have to move quick."_

Rory nodded, pulling her arm from Ward's again. "Yeah, ok. Hydra is here." She tried to focus her mind but she was on high alert, adrenalin pumping through her veins. "Keep your eyes out for their agents."

"I know how to do my job." Ward rolled his eyes and Rory bit back a curse aimed at him. She spotted two men in dark clothes by the bar opposite Clint and one closing in on him.

"Barton you've got company. Your 12 o'clock." Rory said as she three more agents came into view to the left of her, cutting off their exit. She nudged Ward, who nudged back, letting her know he saw them too.

" _Rory, Drew is headed your way. Going to the bathroom._ " Clint's voice rang in her ear and Rory saw Jessica heading toward her and Ward. Thinking fast, she grabbed Ward's hands and pulled him directly in the path of Jessica, plastering herself over him and cupping his face in her hands. She pressed her hips against his and as Jessica stepped beside her, she let out a laugh, pushing Grant away. "Stop, wait ok. I need the bathroom." She said, her tone playful and loud. She took another step back straight into Jessica, knocking the girl a little. "Oops, sorry!" She turned and blinked with wide eyes at the brunette.

"No harm," Jessica smiled. She glanced over at Ward, who looked a little bewildered. "Has he asked you to marry him yet?"

"Only about a dozen times." Rory rolled her eyes, giving Ward a wink.

"Yeah, mine too. Men these days, think they gave kiss a girl once and they're in love." Jessica laughed and pressed on to the bathroom. Rory followed her, glancing around to see four Hydra agents getting closer and closer. Zemo wasn't one of them, a fact that both disappointed and relieved her.

"Oh I know. Where has the excitement gone? I mean, I can understand with you, you're _stupidly_ pretty –"

"Oh stop." Jessica laughed, shaking her head. "You've got the red-headed, porcelain doll thing going on." The girl waved her hand. They walked into the ladies and she disappeared into a stall. Rory stepped up to the mirror. One other stall was occupied but the bathroom was thankfully empty.

" _We'll disarm the agents we can see. Tell Jessica everything and find a way out, Rory. That is a direct order."_ Clint barked orders at her down the line and she nodded, knowing they couldn't see her.

"Oh shoot, I lost my gloss!" Rory said as Jessica flushed her toilet and stepped out to wash her hands.

"Here, I've got some." Jessica reached for hers and handed it to Rory. "So are you and the boy here on a holiday?" she asked, readjusting her cleavage in her skimpy dress. The stall behind them flushed and a girl stumbled out to wash her hands.

"I'm on holiday, I met him here." Rory nodded, swiping the lippy over her lips. She pouted and handed it back. "I needed to escape my life and I couldn't think of a better place to do it."

"Oh I know that feeling." Jessica fluffed her hair. The drunk girl disappeared out the door and Rory followed her, locking the door as she disappeared back into the club. Rory turned around to face Jessica. "What are you-" Jessica looked bewildered and Rory exhaled sharply.

"Jessica Drew. I know who you are." Rory said, taking her bag from around her shoulders and dumping it on the counter. She rummaged through it, picking up her gun, a couple of small knives and a taser. She strapped them to her to be ready. "I'm Agent Dugan with SHIELD."

"Are you kidding me?" Jessica deadpanned. Rory glanced at her and found her shoulders slumped in defeat. "You're not taking me in."

"It's either that or Hydra kill you." Rory shrugged, cocking her gun with a loud click. Jessica's eyes widened and went from her gun to the door.

"They found me?"

"Yeah and they're out there." Rory nodded. She placed a finger to her ear. "Hawk, what's the situation like out there?" She asked.

"Ugh fucking hell. I really liked it here." Jessica sighed, shaking her head. "You guys ruin everything."

" _They haven't approached the door –_ "

"Hey, it's not us." Rory shook her head as Clint continued.

" _You and Jess need to get out of there asap. There's a back way out of this club so when you exit take a sharp left toward the bar and go through the doors to the kitchen. Grant and I will follow. Extraction in 15. Hyde Park. West side_ "

"Hyde Park, got it." Rory nodded and looked up at Jess. "My team are holding them off so we have to get out of here as quick as possible." Jessica looked uncertain and Rory paused. "We won't let them get you, Ms Drew." She assured the woman.

Jessica didn't make any move to leave.

"Say I trust you - what's stopping SHIELD from using me like Hydra did? I'm pretty powerful. I could kill both your team, and theirs, and run again." Jessica checked her nails but there were small tells that let Rory know she was scared. She was chewing on the inside of her cheek and her foot was tapping the ground nervously. It dawned on Rory that she'd been doing this for a while, that Jessica for all her bravado was just a scared girl who was sick of running.

"You could," Rory nodded slowly. " _or_ you could let me help you, we leave here together and then you have my word that SHIELD won't use you for anything unless you want to help." Rory stuck out her hand.

" _You can't make that promise Aurora._ " Ward bitched in her ear. She ignored him, looking from her hand to Jessica.

"How do you know that?" She asked, her eyes narrowed in sceptically.

"Because Captain America wanted what you want and I promised him the same thing." Rory said with determination and conviction.

Jessica's eyes widened at Rory's words and she seemed to be weighing up her options.

" _Rory, moving now would be fantastic."_ Clint grunted. " _There's one by the_ –" There was a loud bang and Clint was cut off. Rory drew her gun and shoved Jessica her to the other side of the bathroom as the door flew open. Clint sailed through, landing on his back with a Hydra agent on top of him.

Rory stepped forward and delivered an impressive roundhouse kick to the agent's face, sending him sprawling to his back on the tiled floor. Clint flipped the guy the rest of the way off him and scrambled to his feet.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention-"

"LOOK OUT!" Jessica yelled as another guy barrelled out of the dark doorway and caught Clint in the back, sending them both forward into Rory. The three of them hit the deck, Rory's heels scrambling for purchase on the bathroom floor. Her gun skidded away from her and something caught her in the cheek hard enough for her to see stars.

She was just about to hit back when a brilliant green light filled the bathroom and there was a crackle of electricity. The agent stopped moving and Clint was able to throw him off them again. He looked up at Jessica, grinning, as he took the girl's extended hand.

"Thanks, babe." He winked at her, hauling Rory to her feet beside him. "That's a mighty handy trick."

"What the hell was that?" Rory gasped, her hand holding her face to make sure nothing was too damaged.

"Bio-electric blasts. Oh I should have known _you_ were SHIELD, Hotguy." Jessica rolled her eyes, pulling her hand from his to place on her hip. Her eyes were narrowed and her foot was tapping nervously again.

"Actually, it's Hawk-"

"Neat trick. C'mon, let's move." Rory grumbled, picking up her gun and her bag. She pressed her earpiece. "Ward, where are you?" She barked into it. Her hip hurt, so did her cheek and she just wanted to get the hell out of there.

" _Running. Don't go out the front."_ Ward puffed back, the sounds of gunfire and yelling coming down the line after his voice. " _There's about 50 of them. Go out the back. I'll try and lose them. Meet you at extraction."_

The line went dead and Rory swore.

"C'mon, backway." Clint muttered, pushing past Rory. He grabbed Jessica's hand. "I promise you'll be safer with us, kid."

Jessica looked sceptical again for half a second but something over Clint's shoulder made her nod and she decided to leave with them.

They stuck to the shadows of the club and thankfully their little scuffle had barely registered over the throbbing beat and intoxicated youth. They pushed through a set of doors that lead into an alleyway adjacent to the club. Clint and Rory's guns were raised high, both on high alert.

"Clear this way."

"Clear my way." Rory confirmed. Clint motioned for them to move on and they crept into another alley and emerged a street over.

"God I wish I had proper shoes." She grumbled, her fingers tight around the trigger of her gun. "and a dress that wasn't riding up my ass." She pulled on the hem of her dress. "This was supposed to be an easy in-and-out."

"Yeah, if I'd have known I would have to run for my life tonight I would have dressed way more appropriately." Jessica commented dryly.

"I am _not_ complaining." Clint grinned, wrapping his arm around Jessica as they stepped onto the main street. The wind chill was getting to Rory and her whole body shook from the cold. Her skin seemed to buzz from adrenalin and her eyes darted around the older looking streets for any signs of danger.

Rory shook her head at her partner's antics. "Focus, Barton." She muttered, eyeballing an oncoming couple. Her gun was now concealed in her handbag as she pretended to rummage for something. Every person made her jumpy, every noise had her heartbeat pounding. "Extraction isn't far."

She'd seen Zemo, she was sure it had definitely been him. He'd known she was there and she didn't know how. It seemed like a huge coincidence that he would be at the same mission she was on, Jessica Drew or not.

"Where is extraction?" Jessica asked, her heels clicking on the pavement as she walked in front of Rory, beside Clint. She'd made no move to take Clint's arm from around her waist, Rory noted, but she wasn't sure if that was to do with playing a part so they didn't look suspicious or whether she liked it there. The woman had once been trained as a Hydra agent so she knew the ropes fairly well already.

"Hyde Park. I'm hoping the jet is there." Clint replied easily.

"Oh you have a jet." Jessica said in an incredulous voice.

"Of course. Every good agent has a jet." Clint grinned. Rory rolled her eyes at the pair.

"And you can fly this jet, huh?"

"Sure can." Clint replied smugly. Rory made a gagging noise and shook her head. Clint just threw a grin over his shoulder at her. "You ok there, Dugan?" He asked.

"Oh yeah just – "

Her eyes caught a figure on the other side of the street and she stopped dead in her tracks. That smile haunted her dreams. It was too wide and too snarled. She pulled out her gun.

"DON'T MOVE." She ordered, stepping away from Clint.

"Woah, hey! Aurora!" He exclaimed in surprise, reaching out to grab her. She shrugged out of his grip, keeping her eyes on Zemo. He turned and started to walk away and panic flooded through Rory's system. She couldn't let him get away. Not this time.

"ZEMO! DON'T MOVE." She yelled, stepping into the road.

"AURORA NO!" Clint screamed, leaping after her. He knocked her from her feet, sending them both rolling into the road as a bus went screaming past them, over the exact spot Rory had stepped into. "You fucking idiot, you stepped in front of a bus!"

"He was _there_!" She yelled, her voice a strangled sob. "He was right there, you let him… _you let him get away_!" She scrambled to her feet, running to the other side of the road.

"He's gone now. Aurora, FOCUS." Clint sprinted after her. " _God damn how can you run in those heels?!_ " He muttered under his breath. "AURORA!"

She skidded on the heels as she turned a corner but he was gone. The street was empty save for a taxi and it's driver pulled to the side. She let out a sob and smacked her hand against the wall beside her.

"He's gone!"

"He wasn't the mission!" Clint grabbed her arm and spun her toward him. "He wasn't the mission and you've jeopardized this one because I saved your stupid ass from being hit by a bus!" He glared at her, his fingers gripping her arms tightly. "Get your head on your own mission, Dugan!" His blue eyes glared at her but they betrayed his worry.

"You saw him, didn't you?" She asked, searching desperately for her answer.

"I saw you step in front of a fucking bus. I saw you pull your gun. I didn't see him." He shook his head.

"He was here, Clint." She said, loosing a frustrated breath. "He was there and he was watching me. He's been watching me all night." Her hand went to her mouth. "The blanket…" She gasped. Memories washed over her and she gripped Clint's arm tightly.

The blanket had been sitting on her couch for a week and she'd thought nothing of it, but she remembered it now. It was the blanket she'd always taken with her in the car as a child. It had disappeared after the accident, she'd always assumed it had been lost in the confusion but Zemo turning up on her mission, just to watch her reminded her about it. He'd had it with him the whole time.

"The what?"

"The –"

"I don't mean to interrupt but I can hear yelling about 3 blocks back and I don't think it's good." Jessica interrupted them, holding up Aurora's bag. "You also might want this." She held it out to her by one finger.

"C'mon, let's just get to extraction. We'll talk about this later, Dugan." Clint took the bag and tugged on Aurora's arm. "What made you stay?" He asked Jessica as they walked along.

"Hydra fucked me over. I'm hoping SHIELD won't do the same… and I figure you'll probably get into some trouble if you don't bring me back considering I'm your mission and all." Jessica replied, smirking.

Aurora didn't hear Clint's reply. Her mind was stuck on the fact that Zemo had been there and that she hadn't thought about the blanket until now.

It was a long, quiet and uncomfortable ride for them all as they made it back to the helicarrier for debriefing and she said nothing as Clint gave the rundown of the mission.

"Aurora, a word?" Fury asked as he dismissed them all. Rory paused her steps toward the door and turned to face the Director. "Barton called forward before you got here and told me you thought you saw Zemo?"

"Off the record?" She asked, frowning lightly.

"As a favour to him and yourself, yes." Fury nodded. Rory grit her teeth.

"I saw him." She confirmed with a nod.

"What did he do?"

"Nothing." She shook her head. "He just stood and stared at me. Smiled like he knew something. I tried to go after him but –"

"You stepped out in front of a bus."

Her eyes dropped to the floor. "I'm fine."

"Aurora, I'm very worried about this. He knew you would be on this mission. There is still a leak in SHIELD and while that is there he is going to know where to find you." Fury said. Rory heard the squeak of leather as he stood and she looked up.

"I was going to take you off field again –"

"Don't you _dare_ ," Rory exclaimed loudly as panic rose in her throat. She couldn't go back to a desk job. This was where she was comfortable. This was where she was good. "This is my _job_."

"A job that's putting you at risk."

"That's kind of the whole point of the job." Rory rolled her eyes. "Please don't take me off field, Nick. Not because of him." She could hear that she was begging him not to do it and even Nick seemed surprised. Aurora Dugan didn't beg for anything. "He already knows he can find me at the tower. He _has_ already found me at the tower."

Fury levelled his gaze on her, turning protectively steely at the words.

"What do you mean by that?" He asked in a strangely cold voice. Aurora grit her teeth at her stupid mistake.

"A blanket was left at my door about a week ago. I thought Grandpa had dropped it off but I realised tonight that was the blanket I had with me the night of my parents car accident." She could feel a lump in her throat and she swallowed it down.

"He was in the tower?"

"Or he got whoever is on the inside to drop it off… but something that personal, he would have wanted to do it I'm sure." She shook her head. Her throat felt dry and the more she thought about him being in her home, the sicker she felt. "It was a warning. To let me know he's watching me."

"This stays between us, you understand?" He said, resting his hands on the desk. "I will look into security footage. I _was_ going to take you off field again, I know I _should_ take you off for your own safety –"

"Please don –"

He held up a hand to silence her before continuing. " _but_ I feel the best way to bring Heinrich Zemo in and potentially bring down a big part of Hydra is if you're still in the field."

"So you want to use me as bait." Rory said slowly, her eyes lighting up. Fury's eyebrows furrowed. It was a risky move but it would help.

"I wouldn't use those words. _Especially_ not in front of anybody else." He shook his head. "But we could use your skill set to bring him down _and_ find who's leaking our intel. Only four people were supposed to know about you being on Barton's mission – you, Clint, Ward and myself."

"Understood, sir." Rory nodded. "Just let me know when you need me."

Fury nodded and turned away from her. Rory took this as her cue to leave. "We will get him, Rory. I made a promise to your grandfather and I promise you. Justice will be served for what he did."

"Thank you, sir." She replied before turning on her heel to go shower and change into something a little more comfortable.

* * *

It was a little after 2 in the morning when they touched down onto Stark Tower landing pad, but instead of going to her apartment like she should have, she took the elevator down to the parking garage, took her car to Brooklyn and she let herself into Steve's house.

The lights were off and it dawned on her as she was feeling her way through the darkness that she probably should have called first to tell him she was coming. She took out her phone and turned the screen on to give her some light.

"Steve?" She called out warily, hoping she hadn't caught the sleeping super soldier unawares. "Steve's it's just me…"

"Aurora?" She heard Steve's sleepy voice from his bedroom and climbed the stairs two at a time.

"Hey." She greeted as she stepped into his room, suddenly feeling shy. She wasn't sure why'd she'd come. Self-preservation maybe? Nightmares would be a sure thing if she tried to sleep. She definitely felt safer at his apartment, especially now she knew Zemo had been to hers and could get into the Tower.

"What're you doin', Sweetheart?" He asked and she could tell he was smiling just from his voice. She heard the covers move as he moved over in the bed for her.

"Back from my mission. Didn't feel like being alone." She replied, turning the phone light off. She stripped out of her sweats until she was just in her underwear and crawled into bed with him.

"What happened?" Steve asked, pulling her into his side and curling his big frame around hers easily. He let out a contented sigh and linked his fingers through hers.

"Zemo was there." She whispered and she felt him tense.

" _What_."

"He knew where I was. Came for me." The words sounded strange to her and her ears were ringing. She could feel it coming, the impending panic attack in 3...2…1…

"Did he touch you?"

"He didn't even say a word. Just watched me and smiled at me. He knew where I was… he knew…" Her heartbeat thundered in her ears and she swallowed down lungfuls of air.

Steve's lips were against her ear and his thumb was stroking the back of her hand soothingly. Her pulse stopped spiking and her breathing slowed.

"He's been to the Tower, Steve. To my apartment." Rory closed her eyes.

"What?" The cold tone was still there when Steve spoke and Rory shivered.

"That thing in the bag that you found on the door the other day... It was a blanket. My blanket from when I was a child… It was in the accident with me." A sob escaped her throat as reality finally sunk in.

"You are moving in with me." Steve said in a hard voice. "How the fuck did he get into the Tower?"

"Fury's working to find out. Only he and I know." She told him. "There's a double agent in SHIELD."

"So it's confirmed?"

"There are too many coincidences for it not to be." Rory nodded. Steve was silent for a few moments, his grip tight around her. "I won't stay out of the field." She said softly, knowing that's what he was struggling with. "He'd come after me whether I was behind a desk or behind a gun. I think I'd much rather be behind the gun."

"I know." Steve nodded, his lips finding her pulse point. She let out a sigh at the contact, feeling her whole body relax. "I know you can handle yourself but it doesn't stop me worrying."

"Likewise." She murmured, sleep invading her mind like a cloak. "I'm not moving in, either. We need to see if he'll try for the tower again."

"Then I move back in there with you." He said in a quiet voice. She turned in his arms and kissed him lightly.

"This is your home. I am a big girl who can fight her own battles."

"You also don't sleep enough as it is. You waiting for him to walk through your door is going to mean you sleep even less." He pointed out and she sighed.

"So I stay here every so often." She burrowed into his neck and closed her eyes, feeling completely safe and relaxed in his arms. "I need to catch him and if I have to dangle myself in front of him then so be it." She mumbled.

Steve let loose a low growl and held her tightly, but he didn't argue. He knew better than to argue with a Carter woman.

* * *

Author's Note: I am SO super sorry this is late. Things have been a bit crazy for me and I had a REALLY big moment of 'oh god this is terrible.'… I'll have the next one posted up soon. Thanks for reading!

Playlist:

Scary Monsters Nice Sprites – Skrillex

Adrenalin – Zeds Dead

I'm Gonna Do My Thing – Royal Deluxe


	26. A Quest Into The Unknown

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 26: A Quest Into The Unknown

* * *

Aurora let out a breathy moan as his lips found the pulse point on her neck. The water that cascaded around them was as cold as the tile against her back, the hot water having run out long ago. She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers into the muscle of his hips, hissing lightly as his teeth pinched her skin.

"Steve…" She sighed again as his lips kissed the sting better.

"Mmm?" He breathed against the shell of her ear. His hand trailed down her side, coming to rest on her thigh.

"We've been in here for an hour." She murmured, feeling him lift her leg again. His hardness pressed against her belly again and she smiled.

"We have." He agreed.

"So you think we should get out?" She asked. "The hot water ran out a while ago."

"It did." He agreed again, his mind on one track and that track was her. He lifted his head and looked at her, taking in the water droplets on her eyelashes and her mascara smudged beneath her eyes. "You cold?"

"A little." She nodded, giving him a sheepish smile. Her eyes fluttered closed as he rocked against her, his cock pressing at her entrance.

"Should I try and warm you up?" He asked in a low voice. She nodded, mutely, her nails digging into his skin. He chuckled and flexed forward, pressing into her gently.

She let out a moan and let her head fall forward as he lifted her. She was seated fully on him a moment later, their lips locking as their hips rocked together in time.

They were just finding their rhythm when three loud thuds sounded at the front door. Rory's eyes flew open and she looked toward the bathroom door.

"Were you expecting anyone?" She asked, her ears straining to her anything else.

"No…" Steve shook his head. "Anyone I know would have call –"

Three thuds sounded again and through the slightly open bathroom door they both heard someone call out.

" _Hey! Capt-i-tano! Open up!"_

"Is that _Tony_?" Rory asked, her voice low and horrified. There was no way they could explain why they were both soaking wet and scrambling for clothes. No believable explanation anyway. They were so screwed. _So_ screwed.

"No. Can't be…" Steve shook his head. Rory patted his shoulder urgently, her stomach in knots.

"What if –"

"C'MON CAP, OPEN UP IT'S POKER NIGHT!" That time it was Clint's voice and Rory gave a squeak as she realized they all must have been standing on the porch downstairs.

" _Poker night_?" She hissed. "Since when do you guys do _poker_ night?" She asked as she slid off him and turned the taps off.

"Uh… good question?" He rubbed the back of his head, scowling as his erection deflated between his legs. His balls ached with the missed promise of release and he sighed.

" _Rogers! If you don't open this door up in 30 seconds, Thor is gonna bust it open. Not even kidding_." Tony threatened again and Rory wrapped a towel around herself.

"You better go open up. Three Avengers standing on your doorstep is going to cause a stir." She urged him as she gathered her clothes. "They can't find me here. There's no way to explain this." She let out a light laugh and Steve grinned.

"Or we could just say we're both consenting adults and ask them not to tell SHIELD." He shrugged and Rory raised an eyebrow.

"What was Rule 4, Buddy?" She asked, poking his chest as he took the towel off her to use on himself.

"Tell no one," He sighed, wrapping it around his waist.

Rory grinned and kissed him lightly.

"Exactly. I'll just hide out up here until they leave." She shrugged, stepping out of the bathroom to sneak back to where they'd started their day between the sheets. Steve watched her go before he jogged down the stairs and opened the front door.

Four of his teammates stood on the other side of the door, while Natasha knelt down, lock pick in her hands.

There was a moment where both of them froze and then she looked up. Tony let out a laugh.

"Well, you took your time." She smirked like a satisfied cat, rising to her feet in a fluid movement. Steve's cheeks bloomed red and he stepped back incredibly glad he was no longer sporting anything hard beneath his towel.

"I was in the shower. What are you guys even doing here?" He stepped back to let them in. A few of his neighbours were watching with interest and he waved a friendly hand before slamming the door shut.

"Well I did try and call, a couple of times actually. You really need to remember you have a phone." Tony sighed as he walked through the house to the kitchen. He placed a wooden box on the counter and looked around. "The place looks good."

"Rory decided to decorate." He replied, following them.

"She did a good job." Bruce smiled politely.

"When's she moving in?" Natasha asked, a smirk on her face. Steve gave her a dry look.

"You know, I did ask but she doesn't want to live in Brooklyn." He deadpanned. Natasha's smirk widened and she went to the fridge to pull out beers for everyone.

"I'm actually surprised she's not here." She said, kicking the door closed. Her eyes flickered to upstairs and Steve struggled to remain neutral faced.

"Haven't seen her since yesterday." He shook his head.

"Weird. I've been trying to call her all day to see if she wanted to come to poker night tonight. I didn't want to be the only girl." Natasha continued lightly. Steve's eyebrows rose. The Russian was angling for something and he was pretty sure he knew what. There was no way she minded being the only girl.

"As if that worries you." Clint rolled his eyes, speaking Steve's thoughts. Natasha just grinned her eyes not leaving Steve's.

"Haven't seen her. Maybe she's on the helicarrier or something." Steve shrugged, turning away from her unnerving gaze.

"Not her rotation." Natasha countered. "Seems strange she isn't answering the phone."

"Mission?"

"She would have told one of us, especially you." Natasha smiled and Steve cleared his throat.

"You don't think she's found something and gone after it?" Clint asked, worry flickering behind his eyes. Steve frowned lightly.

"No, I'm sure she's just… got her phone turned off." He shrugged. Natasha was watching him like a hawk and he squirmed in his towel. He had to get out of there before he confessed everything under her gaze.

"Rogers, you know as well as I do how consumed in finding Zemo she is." Tony reached into his jacket pocket for his phone. "You don't think she went after him, do you?"

"No. I don't." Steve shook his head. "Not without one of us." He cleared his throat before anyone else could say something. "Make yourselves comfortable, I'm going to put some clothes on." He gestured to his towel before turning quickly from his team.

He didn't let out his breath until he was back in his room. He let out a choked noise when he spotted Aurora spread out on his bed in nothing but one of his t-shirts and flipping through a magazine. He closed the door with a snap.

"Are they gone?"

"No but Natasha definitely knows."

"Damn." She sighed, watching as Steve crossed the room to his dresser. He dropped the towel and she bit her lip. "What did she say?"

"That she's been trying to call you all day." He said over his shoulder.

Rory tore her eyes away from Steve's impressive form and dug around the sheets for her phone. She found it a minute later, feeling a little guilty at how many messages and missed calls she had from various friends. The last one was from Natasha, coming through only seconds earlier that simply read " _Steve is a terrible liar_." Rory stifled a laugh.

"She definitely knows." She sighed, shaking the phone at him. "You are a terrible liar." She smiled and he ducked to kiss her as he took it. He read the message and snorted, shaking his head.

"You're ok with her knowing?" He asked cautiously. Keeping it between them was fun but he did want to talk to someone about what was going on, to get some advice on whether or not this was normal. He dropped her phone beside her on the bed.

"Sure, we didn't break the rules. She guessed." She shrugged.

 _Text To: Nat Roma  
He's not that bad._

Rory shot off a reply to the Widow and then smiled at Steve. "Nat won't say anything. Her and Clint have had things going before, she knows the risk."

"If you're sure." Steve muttered before slipping from the room. Her phone buzzed a minute later, a message from Natasha.

 _Text From: Nat Roma  
Where are you?_

Rory snorted.

 _Text To: Nat Roma_  
 _Upstairs. Shhh Nat. I'll explain later._

 _Text From: Nat Roma  
You better. I mean, I'm not surprised but you better._

Rory laughed and dropped the phone again, settling in to wait for Steve to come back.

* * *

"Have you fellas bought your tickets yet for the charity thing yet?" Tony asked after taking a drag of beer. He pulled a face. "Good lord how do people drink this all the time."

"Sorry it's not high class whisky, Richie Rich." Clint rolled his eyes. "I haven't bought mine yet but I'll be there… I need to buy a ticket for Jess as well, is there a discount for plus ones?"

Natasha looked amused. "You do know Bobbi is coming, don't you?"

"You still talk to my ex-wife, huh?" Clint's eyebrow rose.

"I work with her, so yeah." The Russian nodded. "I didn't realize you were interested in Jess though. She's not your type is she? She's _sweet_."

"Clint has a type?" Bruce asked in genuine surprise and Steve laughed, even more surprised. He was sure Clint and Natasha were a _thing_ and he wasn't even aware that the archer had been married before. Clint glared at both of them.

"She's funny and kicks my ass. How can I not be interested?" Clint said, his lips turning up in a grin. "And I figure it'll make her feel a little more included. She's a bit lost right now and I think she has some real potential to help us out one day."

Steve grunted an agreement. "I watched a training session of hers yesterday. She's certainly something." He nodded, remembering the way she'd effortlessly disarmed and defeated 6 of their best agents in under 2 minutes. Expanding the team had been on his mind as of late. It couldn't hurt to have a few more Avengers on their side.

"Yes you have to buy her a ticket too. No there's no plus-one discount and if you and the ex-wife ruin the night with arguments you're being kicked out." Tony said, throwing his hand down as he lost again. Steve smiled and took the chips from the middle of the table, getting the evil eye from Tony and Clint.

"I will be buying a ticket, however I have no currency that is of this world. Would you accept Asgardian gold?" Thor asked as he took the cards to shuffle and re-deal.

"Yes. That is acceptable." Tony nodded, a light in his eyes that usually got him into some kind of trouble. "El Capitano are you going to ask anyone?"

Steve shrugged a shoulder. "Aurora maybe, if she wants."

Tony scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Bringing Aurora isn't going to get you laid my friend."

"That doesn't matter." Steve's eyebrows knitted together. He'd imagined Aurora in a 40s' swing dress, like the dames Bucky had once set him up with back in the day and had decided he couldn't not ask her. The picture was too good to resist.

"How can it– you know what, I think I get what your deal is. You don't actually bat for our team do you?" Tony squinted at him, scrutinizing his every move. "Not that it's a problem but you know, it makes sense."

Steve's eyebrows knitted together as Clint and Natasha snickered. He exchanged a look with Thor, who was just as lost as he was and Bruce grimaced.

"He's insinuating that you're not straight, Steve." Bruce said with a soft sigh, the doctor realizing that Steve didn't understand the phrase.

Steve cut a glare back at Tony, who was grinning widely. "I'm not funny, I would just rather… find a girl with common interests." He threw a couple of hundred chips into the pile. "So I'll ask Aurora if she'll go with me as a friend."

"If you change your mind I'll find some girls for you. You're listed in Cosmopolitan's 20 most eligible bachelors, you know." Tony grinned. "I'm not on that list this year. I think Pepper paid them to keep my name out of it."

Steve shook his head, rolling his eyes. He'd seen the article and had watched as Rory had laughed herself silly. Press had been bad in his day but it had nothing on the modern world. Everything was so readily accessible now, there was no hiding anything. Well _almost_ anything… but even the press had alluded to Rory and he being more than once.

"What about Felicity?" Natasha asked, glancing at Steve. "She was nice and you guys hit it off."

"Until he pulled the plug and he went home with Aurora." Clint reminded them with a snort. "I'm pretty sure he's lost his chance there."

"She was drunk and sick!" Steve defended indignantly. _If only they knew_.

"She's been that way before and survived." Tony rolled his eyes. "That girl has you wrapped around her finger, I swear." He sighed. "Just like Arthur. Poor bastard."

"She does not." Steve sighed, looking at his hand. If he wanted to look after his friend, so be it. She wasn't the bad guy because he cared.

"She does. She does it to almost every man she meets. That asshole ex really did something to the poor girl." Tony scowled, shaking his head. "I keep thinking she has a little something for you though, maybe you _should_ chase that."

Steve's stomach squirmed with butterflies at the thought of Rory actually feeling something past carnal urges for him. It would be nice and he definitely wouldn't say no – but they were in too deep with whatever they had going on now to change anything.

"I also thought the same. Captain, have you thought about courting her? Jane said midgardian woman like dates and flowers!" Thor asked, placing his cards on the table in front of him.

"We're not like that, Thor. We're friends." Steve waved his advice away.

"Everyone is friends before they court." Thor pointed out, sagely. "Friendship is what makes a good relationship."

Steve swallowed, his cheeks blushing. Well they certainly had that in spades. She was his closest friend, the one he confided in. She was what Bucky had been to him for his whole life, it was just that now he kind of wanted more and that complicated things a tiny bit.

"Oh, I think Steve knows that." Bruce said, recognizing the look on Steve's face. "You like her?"

Natasha's eyes were bright and she glanced up. Steve swallowed.

"It's hard not to." He shrugged, being honest. "But like I said, we're friends. We have a complicated history."

"Right, the grandmother thing." Bruce nodded thoughtfully. "Well, you know, that _is_ the past. You can't exactly live 7 decades ago… maybe forward is the way to look?"

Steve glanced at him and nodded. "Yeah, but she knows that past is there and I know it's there. It just… I don't know. It doesn't feel right." He shook his head, waving a hand.

That was a lie. Aurora was the most right he'd felt since waking up. He was himself with her and knew there was no pressure. She understood his job and if he couldn't talk to her for days she knew why. She understood his ambitions because hers were the same. They made sense but they didn't and she didn't want that from him.

He looked down, knowing Natasha was looking at him like she wanted to say 'I knew it'. Bruce was looking sympathetic and he didn't know which was worse.

"While this is getting deep about Aurora, I need a bathroom break." Clint called, dropping his cards to the table. Steve breathed out, thankful for the distraction.

"Up the stairs, second on the right." Steve gave him directions and stood, heading for the fridge to get another beer. He hadn't ever admitted it to himself that he potentially liked her but here he was, thinking about how great they could be together.

It was stupid of him. It was one of their rules. _No falling for the other person_. But he couldn't help it. She was everything he'd wanted and then some. She was perfect because she wasn't... and she wasn't interested.

Of course, fate would freeze him for 70 years and make him miss one beautiful dame, only to have him meet one who didn't want a romance.

"You really like her." Natasha's voice made him jump and he turned to glare at her over his shoulder.

"You need to stop creeping up on your friends." Steve deflected as he reached into the fridge and handed her a beer.

"I've been watching you guys for weeks, wondering when it'd happen." Natasha tipped her beer back. "But she doesn't want anything, does she?"

Steve debated lying about it before he shook his head. She would see through that in a heartbeat. He was glad to have a friend he could talk to about this.

"No. It's just sex. Nothing more." Steve sighed. "I don't even know when I slipped and fell but I have." He sounded so pathetic and he gave a small laugh.

"So you need to tell her or stop this." Natasha told him, folding her arm across her. She took the beer he offered her.

"I tell her, we stop this, things change. She's not interested in being with me but I don't think we could go back to just friends." He shrugged. He took a long drag from his beer. "It's ok. I don't really have the time to maintain a relationship anyway."

"You and Rory are like Clint and I… One of you always breaks the rules, falls for the other person, pushes it. It only ends in heartbreak." She sighed, smiling lightly. Steve couldn't quite work out who was who in the situation but something told me that at some point in time, Natasha had been both him and Aurora.

"And yet, you guys are still ok." He smiled.

Natasha opened her mouth to speak again but was cut off by a loud laugh from Clint. They both frowned when they heard him thundering down the stairs.

"What in the world –"

"WHO'S ARE THESE, ROGERS?!" Clint yelled, half sprinting into the dining room with a pair of purple underwear on his finger. Steve's eyes widened as he recognized them immediately. He'd pulled them off shapely thighs with his teeth hours earlier.

"Uhhhh…" _Shit_.

"Are they _panties_ , Cap?" Tony asked in delighted surprise.

"Uhhhh…" _Shiiiiit_.

"Women's panties if I'm not mistaken. Well, well, well, is there something you're not telling us?" Tony grinned widely, like he'd won the lottery and Steve's face burned hot.

Natasha snickered beside him, being no help at all.

"Hey, aren't those the limited edition Hawkeye panties that came as a set?" She asked lightly. She leaned closer and pulled the edges lightly to reveal the purple circle and crosshair design that had been associated with Hawkeye. "They are!"

"You got a girl you've been holding out on telling us about?" Clint's face was plastered with a shit-eating grin as he twirled the underwear around in his fingers. "She's clearly sleeping with you to get to me."

"Woah wait, Captain Tightpants isn't a virgin!?" Tony exclaimed.

"They were in his bathroom, so I'm thinking no."

"I just kind of figured he liked ladies underpants."

"Tony!" Steve choked out. Thor roared with laughter. "What? They're comfortable. I'm not ashamed to admit I've tried it." Tony grinned.

Steve let out a strangled groan. "I do not wear women's underpants."

"So you have a lady friend you've been keeping from us?" Bruce asked and Steve threw him a desperate look. Bruce just shrugged, smiling lightly.

He sighed, glancing at Natasha. Aurora was going to kill him for this.

"Actually… they're Auroras'."

There was a moment of silence as everyone processed the information.

"What the hell are her panties doing in your bathroom?" Tony's voice was a less delighted now and a little more shocked. Steve dragged a hand down his face.

"She must have dropped them after her shower last night. We went to the gym and she came back for dinner. She showered here." He lied easily, hoping Rory wouldn't kill him for this. Natasha snorted beside him. "She's gonna be pissed if she finds out your twirling her underwear around your finger, Clint."

"She's gonna be more pissed when she finds out I know she wears my target on her ass." Clint once more had that shit eating grin on his face. Rory was never, ever going to hear the end of this one.

"They're part of a set, Barton. She probably wears Thors' hammer there too." Steve pointed out and Thor grinned.

"I wonder if Jane would like these underwear also! I would much like to see my symbol upon my ladies posterior." He chuckled, taking out a cell phone he'd been gifted.

"She has them already. We all bought them together." Natasha replied with a smile. All eyes went to her hips but no one was game enough to ask which of them she was wearing. "Can we finish the game now?" Natasha looked at her watch, taking her seat at the table again.

Steve let out a breath and took his seat. Clint disappeared to drop the underwear back in the bathroom before he returned too.

* * *

Rory had finished reading the magazine, had watched countless videos on youtube and had started reading a book she'd found under the bed in Steve's room about the Cold War by the time he returned to his room.

"Oh thank god." She breathed, snapping the book shut. "I was beginning to think you guys were playing all night."

"No." He said quietly as he shucked his shirt and slid onto the bed beside her. He stretched out on his stomach, the muscles in his back bunching and lengthening as he did.

"Who won?"

"Clint. He's a pretty sore winner." Steve chuckled, shaking his head. "Tony's an even worse loser though so it evens out."

"Clint's a carnie. You never play games against a carnie." Rory chuckled softly, tracing her fingers down the thick band of muscle that ran down his spine. Steve closed his eyes.

 _One of you always breaks the rules, falls for the other person_ Natasha' words flickered through his head and he swallowed hard.

"They found your underwear in the bathroom." He mumbled, smashing his face into the pillow.

"I heard." She groaned, poking his side with a fingertip. He flinched away from her, capturing her hand in his. "Clint is never going to let me live that one down."

"Hey, you were the one who told him you had a crush on him back in the day." Steve reminded her and she laughed. He pulled her into him, settling on his side with her against him.

"You're lucky the sex was amazing because otherwise that confession would not have been worth it." She said, pressing her lips to his. He closed his eyes for a moment, running his hand up her side.

"Hey, so Tony was asking about tickets and stuff for the charity event in October, did you maybe want to go with me?" He asked. There was a tightness in his stomach and he felt like he was 16 years old again and asking the girl next door out for ice cream. It hadn't gone well for him back then. She'd laughed in his face and had then closed the door.

"Like as your date?" She asked him, linking their hands.

"Well, yeah. I guess." He shrugged, swallowing hard. She was going to say no. She was going to say it was breaking the rules and that people would talk.

"You do realize you're going to be a literal media circus, don't you? Tony has a red carpet planned to highlight who is going to be there. Captain America is definitely one of the people who'll be stopped." She pushed his shoulders until he was lying on his back and she could press herself along the length of his body, head cradled on his chest.

"Captain America isn't going. I am." He murmured and she laughed softly.

"You know they don't see it like that."

"So that's a no?" He asked, letting out a sigh.

"It's an _I'll see you there but it can't be as a date_." Her voice was soft and her hand on his chest was warm. Her fingers drew soothing shaped but he still felt bitter disappointment in his stomach. "Grandma and Pa are coming." She said after a minute of silence. "So are Maggie and Jay. She's really excited."

"That's good." Steve nodded. He felt her shift, her leg hooking over his hip and she slid over his lap. She sat above him and looked down, her hair pooling around her shoulders.

"You've gone quiet."

"I'm just tired." He replied, taking her hands in his. "I haven't exactly slept since before the mission yesterday."

She smiled, her hips rocking against his.

"Worth it, right?"

"Completely." He agreed. She leant over him, her lips finding his as easy as breathing. His hand came up and buried itself in her hair, his fingers tangling in the curls. She let out a moan and he felt her lift off him a moment, only to slide onto him in the next.

She was pure ecstasy, like a saccharine dream and a quest into the unknown. She consumed him entirely and he knew that he was too far gone to ever return to anything they ever were before.

Her movements were slow and languid and he watched her. She was so beautiful with her long curves and high breasts and an abandoned look on her face. He wasn't entirely sure when his feelings had changed but he was glad they had.

He ran his hands up her sides, cupping her breasts and eliciting a moan from between her lips. He leaned forward, covering her mouth with his own, his tongue darting in between her teeth to battle with hers. She kissed him back as hard as he kissed her and he moaned against her.

Her fingers gripped his hair, tugging and pulling as she rocked faster and harder. The tightness started in his balls, surging forward without warning and he emptied himself into her with sharp, erratic motions. There were seconds when he couldn't move and she let out a moan, her insides fluttering around his softening length as she came.

He fell back against the pillows, taking her with him as he held her close and pressed soft kisses to her temple.

"God I love that." She sighed as she pressed her face into his neck.

He stilled at her words. He loved her. He actually loved her. Loved being around her, loved talking to her, loved laughing with her and even fighting with her. He was dangerously close to the point of no return, but even now he was sure there was no way back.

"It's a superhero thing." He smirked and she shook her head.

"Careful. Getting cocky may ruin the effect." She reached up and pushed some hair off his brow. He just smiled at her, trying to imagine all the ways to show her how he felt without outright breaking their rules.

* * *

A hammering on Aurora's front door had her swearing and stumbling over her catsuit that had been discarded haphazardly the night before. Steve's shield was beside it, the man in question still sleeping off an injury in the bed she was abandoning.

Aurora and a handful of other agents had been called in to help the Avengers detain a group of rioting protestors, who had been slipped some form of gas that made them rabid. It had been a long day for all involved and instead of Steve travelling back to Brooklyn, she'd insisted on him staying with her. She had to keep an eye on him anyway as he'd taken a police gas canister to the temple at short range and was suffering a mother of a concussion.

"Jarvis who –"

" _Margaret Carter the younger."_ Jarvis replied as Maggie hammered on the door again.

Rory's eyes widened and she bolted to her livingroom. Every piece of evidence about their parents murder was still strewn around the room. Maggie couldn't see it. She couldn't know about what had happened to them. It would kill her like it had Rory and she needed to protect her sister from that.

She stuffed everything into files and piled them on the coffee table, ripping her chart from the walls. She'd rebuild it later, in a room no one else used. Steve had been asking her for days to take it down because he was worried it was consuming her.

"AURORA OPEN UP!" Maggie yelled from the other side of the door. "I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!"

"COMING!" Rory yelled back, taking one last look around the living room. There were a few things still there but they weren't close enough to their family to be linked. Hopefully Maggie wouldn't look _too_ closely.

She smoothed her hair and went to the door.

"What on Earth are you doing in –"

"You have some explaining to do." Maggie said as she pushed past Rory and into her apartment.

"Hello to you too, Mags." Rory mumbled, shutting the door behind her. She turned to find her sister glaring at her, arms crossed over her baby bump. "Wow, what did I do?" She asked, wondering where her sisters' hostility was coming from.

"How long have you been fucking Steve?" she asked in a low voice. Rory's eyes widened but she kept her face neutral.

"What? Maggie what on earth are you –"

"Natasha told me." Maggie rolled her eyes. "How could you tell her and not me! I'm your sister!"

"Wait, wait what _Natasha_ told you? As in Romanoff? As in The Black Widow?" Rory blinked rapidly, trying to get her mind around the fact that her sister and Natasha were on casual conversation basis.

"Yes, Natasha Romanoff. The Black Widow." Maggie replied. "Why would you tell her and not me!" She sounded hurt and annoyed and Rory almost felt guilty. Then she remember she _hadn't_ told Natasha and Natasha was in _big_ , big trouble.

"Ok, one: I didn't tell Natasha. She guessed. Two: since when do you and Natasha _talk_?!" Rory asked, walking across the room to retrieve her phone.

"We talk. She's nice. She was surprised that you hadn't told me!" Maggie whined and Rory knew she wasn't too mad.

"I didn't even tell _her_. She _guessed_." Rory rolled her eyes. "I wasn't telling anyone. It was a rule." She opened up her messages and sent a profanity filled text to Natasha. Maggie was watching her intently, hand resting against her stomach. "What!?"

"I need _details,_ Aurora!" She sighed, rolling her eyes dramatically. "My baby sister _finally_ has something going on with a guy –"

"Just sex –"

"and she didn't even tell her big sister!"

"Again, didn't tell anyone!"

Maggie pouted before taking a seat on the lounge.

"I'm not moving til you tell me _everything_." She folded her arms and crossed her legs, turning her nose up in the air to look in the opposite direction. Rory sighed and looked down as her phone buzzed in her hand.

 _Text From: Nat Roma  
Thought you would  
have at least told  
her. Not sorry! _

Rory swore under her breath and went to the bedroom to close the door.

She rejoined her sister on the couch a moment later.

"What are you even doing in –"

"How long?" Maggie said over the top of her sister. She turned around to face her, a brilliant smile on her face. "You know, I was starting to think there was something wrong with you –"

"Ouch!" Rory scowled, shoving her sister lightly.

"Seriously! He's a beautiful, single specimen of a man and you didn't even look twice?" Maggie rolled her eyes.

"Oh I looked." Rory laughed softly. "It's been… I don't know? 2 months, coming up for three. It was just after the 4th of July."

"And it only took you how long?"

"Five months?" Rory shrugged. Maggie took a deep breath, her eyes closing as if Rory was testing her last nerve.

" _Five months_ to fall into bed together. That is exactly 4 months longer than I would have lasted." She laughed and Rory smiled. "So are you guys together or testing waters or what?"

"Just fucking." Rory replied, shrugging. She cast her eyes to her bedroom door, wondering if Steve even knew Maggie was here. She turned back when Maggie smacked her shoulder. "Ow! What?" She frowned, rubbing the spot. "Neither of us are in the position to date anyone right now and we work together –"

"Pretty sure that fraternization policy includes sex too, you know." Maggie rolled her eyes.

"Hence why we never told anyone." Rory said. Maggie sighed. "Don't sigh, Maggie. It's not hurting you in any way, shape or form."

"It's just so typical of you."

"I don't want a relationship or attachment or anything else. It's purely physical –"

"Oh it's so more than that and you know it!" Maggie exclaimed and Rory hushed her. Her eyes looked toward the bedroom again. "He's here?"

"Sleeping off a concussion. Did you see the news yesterday?" Rory murmured. Maggie nodded and gave her a look. "Don't."

"It's more than just _fucking_ Aurora." Her sister stated and Rory scowled. "You care about him, you want him to be ok, you _do_ things for him like _throw him a mega awesome surprise party…_ "

"Any friend would do that!" Rory defended herself. She knew what Maggie was trying to do. Maggie was a lawyer. Lawyers were really good at convincing people of things.

"He's not just any friend to you and he hasn't been for a while…" Maggie continued.

"Of course I care about him, Mags. He's my friend, a very good friend –"

"One you've told everything to. How many other guys are privy to Jason?" Her sister asked and Rory took a breath. Truthfully she did have feelings for Steve. It was impossible not to. He was funny and sweet, courteous and brave. He was literally the perfect man – except Rory wasn't after the perfect man.

She wasn't after any man.

She was human and had needs and Steve was doing just fine satisfying those needs – to the point she was _probably_ ruined for other men… but she couldn't quell the panic in her lungs every time she let her thoughts stray too close to admitting anything more.

Her emotions were under strict lock and key and she was ok with that. If everyone else could be ok with that, she would be happy.

There was also the slight problem where Steve was still very much in love with Peggy Carter and Rory felt a little too much like a stand in.

"None, but I can't say many women are privy to that information either." Rory countered and Maggie let out a huff.

"What are you so damn afraid of, Rory?!" She exclaimed finally, reaching for her sisters hand. She squeezed it, almost desperately. "That Steve will become Jason? That he'll bully you and beat you and –"

"Shut _up_ Maggie!" Rory hissed, pinching her sisters' hand hard enough that she squeaked. "No! I don't think he would. I just can't –"

"Can't _what_?"

"Be Grandma's stand in." Rory said finally, her tone defeated. Maggie's mouth clipped shut audibly and she looked to the bedroom door again. She leant forward, her voice softening.

"I don't think you've ever been Grandma's Stand-in." Maggie squeezed her hand gently. "I think it's time you let yourself have _one_ thing in this world that makes you happy, that treats you like the damn princess you've always wanted to be." Her sister smiled and Rory's stomach clenched almost painfully.

"That sounds really nice," She nodded slowly. "But Steve isn't that guy…" She withdrew her hand and smiled. "I'm ok with that. We're both ok with that." She nodded again.

Maggie opened her mouth like she was going to argue and then closed it. She was silent for a few minutes and Rory let her sister process everything.

"So how is he?" Maggie said, breaking the silence. Rory burst out laughing, relieved that she'd been forgiven again.

"Amazing, just like everything else he does." Rory replied in a low voice. Steve knew all of this already but she still didn't want him hearing her gossip with her sister.

"I bet." Maggie giggled. "Were you his first?"

"God no. Apparently our Captain was quite the horn-dog back in his day." Rory ran a hand through her hair as a shiver went up her spine.

"Oh god, not grandma right?"

" _No_ , thank god. I probably wouldn't have slept with him if he had." Rory wrinkled her nose. "He and grandma never had the chance."

"So who?" Maggie asked, adjusting herself on the couch.

"Show girls, fans, anyone willing an able from what I can gather." Rory supplied dryly. She wasn't going to admit that that made her a little jealous. She wouldn't admit it out loud anyway.

"Wow. I'm actually shocked." Maggie blinked rapidly.

"It's the serum. It amped up his sex drive. He struggles to keep it under control if it's not regularly maintained." Rory couldn't help but let out a small giggle at that.

"Define regular _?"_ Maggie said flatly and Rory laughed a little harder. Maggie shoved her sister in the arm.

"Well there was one day a couple of weeks ago where I lost count at how many times we did it in the day but it was getting close to the twenties." Rory smiled at the memory of that day. God she'd been sore but it had totally been worth it.

"Twenties. Holy sweet frick, Roar. Marry that man!" Maggie laughed. "Generous?"

"Always." Rory nodded, closing her eyes. It had been ages since she just plain gossiped with her sister about something trivial like boys and sex. The two never had much time anymore. "Always finishes me before himself too. It's like…" She lowered her voice even more and glanced at the bedroom again. "He can't actually finish without me first."

Maggie let out a yell and Rory hushed her.

"Jesus Rory, that's hard to find I hope you know that." Maggie fanned herself. "You are literally living the dream of 90% of the female population. Are you _sure_ you don't want to lock him in?"

"Just friends, I'm very sure." Rory nodded, running her hand through her hair. "So what _are_ you doing in New York? You didn't come to just yell at me, did you?"

"No." Maggie shook her head. "I mean, that was like 60% of the reason but I have a conference today. It starts at 11 a couple of blocks away."

"Oh, are you staying?" Rory asked. "Steve has a spare room."

"No it's ok. It's a one day thing, I'm driving back tonight." Maggie waved her offer away. "I'll be staying here in a couple of weeks for the charity thing." She reminded Rory and Rory nodded.

"Yeah Tony's setting you up in the apartment across the hall. You're staying for like a week aren't you?"

"Yeah, we arrive on the first of October and we don't leave again til the seventh. The ball is on the fifth?"

"Yeah, Saturday night." Rory nodded. "I still need help with a dress."

"I can help there." Maggie smiled. She let out a sigh. "I can't believe you kept this from me for so long." She sighed again and Rory laughed.

"I'm sorry. It was a rule." She shrugged.

"Family should be exempt!" Maggie shook her head. Rory just grinned, taking her sisters hand again.

"If it helps, it was the hardest thing I've ever done."

Maggie gave her an incredulous look. "I _highly_ doubt that."

"Please don't tell anyone?" Rory bit her lip, looking hopefully at her sister.

"Oh shoot I was just about to call Pa and let him know that his best friend is nailing his granddaughter!" Maggie rolled her eyes, sarcasm dripping from her tone. Rory punched her.

"Ugh that's so crass, Mags!"

"It's truth though." Rory punched her again. "Ok ok, ouch stop I'm pregnant! I won't tell a soul." Maggie held her pinky out and Rory grinned, linking her own.

No matter how old the sisters got, a pinky promise would never be broken.

* * *

Author's Note: Just need to thank my amazing friend devilsredemption for beta-ing this and pretty much the rest of the series. It's helped heaps. If you like the chapter, tell me! I love hearing from you and I promise I'll be back up and running with replies and emails after today. I got locked out of my account. Mega sucks. Thanks again!

Playlist:

Kiss The Girl – Jonathan Young cover

I Want You To Want Me – Cheaptrick

Sad – Maroon 5


	27. The Fear of Being Hurt

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 27: The Fear of Being Hurt

* * *

"Come on, come on, come on!" Rory tugged on Steve's hand as they walked through the parking lot of the airport toward the arrivals gates.

Steve laughed, smiling down at the excited redhead in front of him who was tugging on his hand like a child. "Maggie's plane has only just landed and your grandparents don't land for another 10, it'll be a little while before they're out."

"I don't care, they're here. My family is here!" She twirled around, her dress flaring around her thighs and Steve couldn't resist grabbing her around the waist to pull her in for a quick kiss.

She laughed, her fingers tangling with his as she kissed him back.

"What was that for?" She asked, a little breathless from her excited twirling. Steve shrugged, smiling as he kissed her again.

"Felt like it." He said as he secured an arm around her waist and tugged her along.

"We gotta keep a lid on the touchy-feely stuff. I told you the other day that Maggie _will_ try and push for us to be more so be prepared –" She rolled her eyes and Steve frowned slightly. "But Grandma and Pa don't know and will kill you if they find out."

Steve sighed and withdrew his arm from around her waist. Finding out Maggie knew about the two of them had been a little bit of a shock and finding out it had been Natasha who'd ratted them out had just plain annoyed him, but Rory seemed happy to have someone to gossip with so he didn't mind really.

He still hadn't told her he'd heard almost everything she'd said to her sister two weeks earlier. It had hurt him slightly to know that she thought he would use her as a Peggy stand-in. He could understand why she did but at the same time he thought he'd made it quite clear to her that he was far over Peggy.

"Hey, c'mon, it'll be _fine_." Rory snapped her fingers in front of his face. "We're ok around our friends so this shouldn't be too different." She smiled, pressing up onto her toes to kiss him again.

"Yeah, I know." He agreed, taking her hand and pulling the brim of his cap down tightly as they passed by a group of young women.

"Although, I'm getting a little tired of Maggie's constant insistence that we're going to fall in love." Rory continued, rolling her eyes. "I swear to _god_ I've had a message from her almost every day since she was in New York that just says ' _Together yet?'_. It's driving me crazy."

"Would it be so bad if we were?" He asked lightly as they came to a stop at the gate Maggie would be exiting from.

He was sure he was in love with her, sure that they could work – but after hearing her say that she didn't feel a thing it was harder and harder to keep a lid on his feelings. He was going to have to end it, Natasha was right. He was going to drive himself mad if he didn't.

He removed his hand from her back completely and shoved them in his pockets as he noticed the same group of women staring intently at them. He hunched over, hoping the baseball cap and five day scruff on his cheeks and chin helped him blend in. The last thing he and Rory needed was more photographs of the two of them ending up over the internet for people to speculate wildly about.

"Uh, considering neither of us feel that way it would be a little weird, I guess?" Rory raised an eyebrow, peering up at him intently. "Right?"

"I guess." He shrugged, glancing around to see if the women were still looking. Thankfully they were gone and he let out a breath.

"Steve?"

"What?"

"What do you mean by 'I guess'?" Rory said slowly, pulling on his arms to make him face her again. He avoided her gaze for a moment before he caved and looked at her.

"I don't know, we do everything together, the sex is amazing... I just wondered –"

"Wondered what?" She asked and Steve sighed.

"If this had become more. I heard you talking to Maggie. You're not a Peggy stand-in." He shrugged his shoulder, feeling her hands slip from his arms.

"Oh god, you heard that?" She asked, her cheeks turning a brilliant shade of crimson.

"I heard everything." He chucked, enjoying her embarrassment a little. "But if that's what's holding you back –"

"Woah wait, are you telling me _you_ like me?" Her eyes widened and she took a step back. Steve's heart dropped and he fought the urge to reach for her. She was recoiling like the thought of him liking her stung and he didn't want to make it worst.

"No! I mean, kind of yes, but you make it impossibly hard not to like you a little. You're beautiful and sweet and…" He paused, feeling a thread being pulled that was fast unravelling "anyway. Not the point. My point was if that was all that was holding you back then it's not the case. You're not a stand-in for Peg. I know Peg is history." He ran a hand through his hair, his nerves kicking up tenfold. He felt like he was going to throw up his breakfast. "Clearly you don't feel that way about me though, so it doesn't matter…"

"That… that wasn't part of the plan, Steve." She shook her head. She looked down at her hands. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault." He replied, his cheeks burning. Of course it wasn't. She'd told him that from the start.

"No, it is. If I wasn't so… screwed up…" She honestly didn't know what to say to that. With Arthur it had been easy. Arthur flirted with other girls and that took his mind of her. Steve didn't. Steve was different. Steve was –

"Hey, it's not about you being screwed up or anything like that ok?" He reached for her before pulling his arm back, his touch falling short as he thought twice. "You don't feel anything, that's ok. I'm sure this is just a passing thing. Arthur did kind of warn me." He chuckled and she groaned.

"We gotta stop this." She said in a small voice. She looked up at him, her eyes wide and disappointment stung his insides.

"I don't want to." He shook his head.

Rory studied his expression, clicking her front teeth together as she thought. He liked her and that broke a rule. They should end it right here and now but for some reason, she just couldn't. It felt too… personal, too hard. It felt like a breakup and her through felt tight like she might cry. She'd put the breaks on for Arthur when he'd started so why couldn't she for Steve?

The thought of telling him they couldn't sleep with each other anymore honestly hurt so much more than she was expecting.

She didn't know what to say. She didn't want it to stop but she didn't want to lead him on either. It was a double edge blade and it was all her fault. If she could just… accept whatever he had for her then they would be fine.

Would it be so bad? Probably not, she answered herself. There was just this little voice of anxiety inside her that made her hesitate, a little voice that scared her enough to lock down whatever the hell she felt and close the door tightly.

"Steve –"

" _Aurora! Steve!"_ Maggie's voice shrieked from behind her, cutting off her words. She was thankful for the interruption

"Maggie!" She yelled, turning away from Steve to face her rather pregnant sister who was barrelling through the crowd of people to get to her. "Oh my god _look at you_! I only saw you two and a half weeks ago and now look at you!"

"I told you, I swallowed a basketball!" Maggie was much bigger than when Rory had last seen her. It was amazing and Rory pressed against her sisters soft stomach as she hugged her.

"I can't believe I'm gonna be an aunty again!" She laughed as Maggie held her just as tightly back.

"Not for a little while yet." Maggie grinned. She glanced behind Rory and her grin widened. "I see you bought lover-boy with you."

"Shut up, Mags." Rory hissed, glancing at her brother in law. "Hi Jay." She stood on her toes to kiss his cheek.

"Maggie told me." Jay laughed, waving to Steve. Rory opened her mouth to yell at her sister. "Don't worry. Your secret is very safe."

"It better be. I know 10 ways to kill you and no one would ever know." Rory winked. Jay chuckled.

"I do not doubt it at all." He shook Steve's hand.

"Are Grandma and Grandpa here yet?" Maggie asked after she'd greeted Steve with a tight hug.

"Their flight has just landed so they'll be out any minute." Rory replied, peering at the arrivals board. She glanced sidelong at Steve, who had been unusually quiet since Maggie had joined them. He looked like he was thinking hard about something so she elbowed him. "You good?" She asked quietly as he met her eye.

"I'm great." He nodded. He placed a hand on the small of her back, knowing that he could take some liberties with Maggie around. She did, after all, know they were something a little more than friends. He could feel her eyes on them like a hawk and he knew she'd be having words with him later.

"How was your flight?" He looked at her, meeting her gaze head on. She smirked at him but said nothing about what she was thinking.

"Good. Had terrible air-sickness, which is unusual because I never get airsick… but it was alright. Short thankfully."

"She sat on the isle and got up to pee every 5 minutes." Jay answered with a grin.

"Pregnant lady over here." Maggie rolled her eyes. Jay kissed her cheek affectionately and Rory smiled. "Oooh, people from Grandma and Pa's flight are starting to come out. They can't be far away, Pa usually flies business…"

"He only flies business so they're the first ones off – THERE!" Rory pointed over the crowd as her grandparents came into view.

Their faces brightened as Maggie and her started waving and then there was a mass of hugging and kissing and emotions.

"My darling's hello." Peggy greeted her granddaughters with wide arms, gripping them both tightly as she dropped her bags. "Maggie look at you, you've gotten bigger since I saw you last."

"I know, the kid is growing fast." Maggie said, rubbing her stomach. "Hi Pa." She kissed her grandfather's cheek and hugged him tight.

"Hello my sweet." Dugan smiled from under his bushy grin. "Hello my other sweet." He placed a hand on her belly and rubbed it. He then turned and grinned widely at Aurora. "My girl."

"Pa!" Rory exclaimed happily, throwing herself against him.

Steve watched the family greet each other, smiling at how happy they all were. Peggy's eyes locked onto his a moment later and his heart jumped. He wouldn't ever get over her but the love he felt for her now was something akin to family.

"Hello Steve." She greeted, smiling with both her lips and eyes before she stood up on her toes and kissed his cheek. She left a red lipstick mark and she reached up to rub it off with her thumb. "You look sad?"

He would never ever get over how easily Peggy could read him, even 70 years later. "I'm fine. Tired. We had a big day yesterday."

"Mission?"

"Natasha and I, yes ma'am. I didn't get back until early this morning."

"Silly boy, you should have stayed in bed." Peggy chuckled, patting his hand. He shook his head.

"Rory was too excited to drive. I didn't want her crashing Tony's car." Steve replied easily. He felt Rory's hand slap his bicep and he grinned at her.

"Rogers. Good to see you again, Captain." Dugan saluted him before reaching out to clasp him in a warm hug. "What happened to your car, Sweetheart?" Dugan turned to his granddaughter, his eyebrows riding on his forehead.

"Nothing, but we won't all fit in it." Rory shrugged. "I borrowed one of Tony's Escalades so we can." She leant down and picked up a bag that had been dropped. Steve did the same with two, ignoring Maggie's protests that she could take her own bag.

"It's my duty."

"Take off the spangles, Cap." She laughed, poking his shoulder as they set off for the car. "I can take my own bag."

"Gentleman's curse. I couldn't let a pregnant dame carry her own bags."

"I have my fiancé for that!"

"He's carrying his bags." Steve replied, smirking at her annoyance. "It's ok, Maggie I got it."

"My sister is such an idiot." It was muttered under her breath but Steve heard it clear as day. He pressed his lips together in a smirk, nodding slightly in agreement. Maggie crowded close to him, ushering him a little away from them while they walked. "Don't give up on her, ok?"

"I have nothing to give up." Steve replied casually, glancing to see where Rory was. She was busy being fussed over by Peg and he smiled at the two of them.

"Bullshit. I see the way you look at her. This is more to you than just sex for you." Maggie raised her eyebrow, her lips pulling up into a smirk. "For both of you. My sister just needs to figure that out."

Steve wanted to argue. He wanted to shake his head and disagree with her but instead he ducked his head. "I'm that transparent, huh?" He asked, wondering how many other people had guessed how he felt about Aurora.

"Not really. I just look for these things. I'm a lawyer, remember?" Maggie's grin turned rueful and she sighed. She reached for his arm and squeezed it lightly. "Please don't give up because she's got a wall." Her voice dropped low and Steve leaned in to listen to her. "Rory trusts you more than I've seen with anyone. She's different around you and I know it's only a matter of time before –"

"What are you two doing, conspiring over there?" Rory called out to them and Maggie looked up from Steve quickly, flashing her a grin.

"Nothing. Steve was just telling me about his apartment." Maggie answered easily, even though Rory's eyes narrowed and she hurried to catch up to them.

"Oh yes Steve, you'll have to show us your apartment while we're here." Peggy said brightly. "I've heard you let someone decorate?" She cast an amused eye to her granddaughter and smiled.

"I caved in and closed my eyes." Steve chuckled and Rory slapped the back of her hand across his stomach. "It does look a little more lived in now. She did a good job."

"You are welcome." She winked at him and Steve couldn't help but laugh at her pride.

"Maybe you should move in too, actually become apart of the apartment?" Maggie suggested, elbowing Steve in the side. He laughed and shook his head.

"I did ask." He shrugged.

"Stark Tower has nicer views." Rory shot back quickly, shooting her sister a glare to go with it. Maggie just grinned.

"I'm sure the views are nice in Brooklyn too." She winked at her sister before tilting her head toward Steve.

"Not really." Rory smiled sweetly, sending her sister death daggers with her eyes.

Maggie laughed and Peggy chided her for teasing Rory.

"I can't help it, Grandma. She makes it too easy." Maggie laughed as Rory took her grandfathers arm and poked her tongue out at Maggie.

* * *

"I'm torn between being proud of you and being scared for you." Peggy Dugan looked around the room that was filled with all of Aurora's research and pressed her fingers to her lips.

It was amazing and horrifying to see the life of the monster that had taken her only son away from her laid out along the walls in front of them. To see all the horrible things he'd done to people, for people, for Hydra made her sick. Her baby girl was caught up in all of this. She was positively beside herself with worry.

"You're closer than I ever was." Dugan muttered, his eyes scanning all the new information that she'd attained. "This man is dangerous, Rory."

"I know, Pa." Rory answered easily, shrugging a shoulder. "He's done so much more than just what he did to our family." She nodded, walking toward the wall to survey her work. Peggy wanted to take her in her arms and make her stop looking at all the evil that was this man. "Embezzling, murder, Hydra… he's worse than his father ever was."

"Much worse." Dugan turned to his wife then, wrapping comforting arm around her shoulders. He looked at his granddaughter with a steady gaze. "You promise me you aren't doing this alone?"

"No. Nick won't let me. He requires frequent updates. It's the only way I'm allowed to stay in the field." She smiled wryly and Dugan chuckled. Peggy's lips pressed into a thin line.

"I am not happy about this, Aurora." Peggy said, her accent clipped and sharp showing her anxiety. Aurora felt guilty that she was putting them through this again. She wished she'd never told them what she knew.

"Steve's also keeping an eye on me, and Arthur," Rory added quickly, with a smile. "They make sure I at least leave this room every now and then, and one of them is usually with me wherever I go out."

"They're good men." Dugan said absently as he picked up the case file for _Rick Jones_. Peggy had to turn her head away from the photographs that had come loose. Those women looked too much like her beautiful grandchild for her to want to know what he'd done to them. "You be careful. I know I say it often but this man is smart, very smart and he'll be getting angry that you're closing in on him."

"He's more curious than angry. He's not been violent toward me yet." She said absently and Peggy's eyes landed on Aurora's back. The woman flinched as if she could feel that gaze and when she glanced at her grandmother she just knew from the look that Peggy was giving her that she wasn't getting away until she explained. Aurora let out a sigh and rummaged around for the paper work for the London Mission.

"He turned up when I was on a mission in London. He didn't do anything and I did almost get hit by a bus trying to get to him but it wasn't a coincidence that he was there." She explained carefully to her grandparents.

Peggy's face was ashen and Dugan looked like he wanted to hit something.

"You don't go anywhere alone, you hear me and –"

"Aurora, what is that?" Peggy said in a soft voice and Rory turned to follow her gaze. She swallowed, hard, when she saw the baby blanket on the chair in the corner.

"A baby blanket." She replied and Peggy went over to it.

"Where did you get this?" She asked, picking it up. "This was yours. This disappeared in the car accident, this –"

Rory glanced at her Pa and then sighed knowing she couldn't lie to either of them.

"Someone left it for me at my door." She said softly.

"He _what_?!" Dugan roared and Rory jumped.

"I don't think it was _him_ Pa, just… whoever is working for him!" She explained rapidly, watching her grandfather's cheeks turn a rather dark shade of purple.

"You need to get off this case right now, Aurora. You hear me? This man is violent and vicious and ballsy and –"

"I'm in the safest building in New York! If he wanted me, he would have taken me already!" She argued back, shaking her head.

"I _don't_ care. You call this off. You leave this well alone." Dugan's face was red and angry and Rory nodded meekly. She'd never seen her Pa so livid before.

"You _do not_ go anywhere alone." Peggy cut her off with a terse voice. Rory shrank like she was 12 again and had burned a hole in the carpet with the iron. "You don't know for sure what he will and won't try. He's smart and he's brave. If he think's he's got a chance at you, he'll take it." Rory saw Peggy's knuckles tighten on the blanket. "You stick with Steve or Sharon or Barton, _anyone_. You don't go anywhere alone you hear me?"

Rory opened her mouth to argue but caught the look on both of her grandparent's faces. They were stony, worried and she could see the anxiety radiating from her grandmother's eyes.

Rory wished her Pa had never told her, to save her from the anxiety that seemed to be eating the usually brave and gutsy English rose alive. She felt guilty that she was causing this for her grandmother but there was no way she could stop now. She was so close.

"Like I said before, I don't usually go anywhere alone." She shook her head finally. "I think Steve has the same idea as you guys. He shadows me like a hawk."

"Normally I'd tell him to back off but right now, I think he can stay just where he is." Dugan smirked and Peggy rolled her eyes. She knew how much her husband liked to play the protective father-figure to their granddaughters but Aurora could do, and had done, a lot worse than Steve Rogers. She thought they were a smart match but didn't dare push Rory. The only thing she got when she pushed that girl was Rory 100 feet further away from where she her wanted to be.

"I don't like this, Aurora." Peggy said again, placing the blanket down carefully. She walked to Rory and took granddaughter's hands. She pulled her in for a hug and felt the girl relax against her shoulder.

"I've gotta get him, Grandma. I can't let him live. Not after what he's done to you and to us." Rory murmured. She felt Peggy take a deep, shuddery breath and felt tears prickle her eyes. "I promise you, I'll be ok."

"You had better be, my darling." Peggy pulled away from her and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Come on, poor Steve must be almost sick of Maggie by now. Let's go and rescue him and find you something lovely to wear to the dance." She smiled and brushed a red curl off Rory's face. Rory nodded, her hand still clasped tightly in her grandmothers as they turned out the light and closed the door with a snap.

* * *

It wasn't until three days had passed that Steve realised he missed her. He missed her being beside him when he fell asleep and there still when he woke up. He missed holding her and touching her and god, did he miss kissing her.

Three days around her family had been a constant struggle for him not to touch her or do anything to make them look twice. It had been hard not to reach for her, to not hold her hand or plant a kiss on her lips. He'd done ok. Once or twice he slipped but so had she, reaching for his hand or leaning into his side when she wasn't paying attention.

He felt so damned foolish for falling so hard while she hadn't even stumbled for him. He was ass over head and she was walking tall, feeling nothing for him. It hurt, a lot but it would hurt more to stop whatever this was he had. Natasha had warned him but he'd done it anyway. Being without her wasn't an option.

"What's wrong?" Rory asked when she realised his pencil had stopped scratching over his sketchpad and he was staring at a point above her head.

"Nothing." He muttered as he shook his head. His eyes dropped to the page and he added a few more lines to his art. "This is the first time we've been alone in days. It feels weird." He pointed out with a smile. Rory glanced around her empty apartment and nodded. Peggy and Dugan were catching up with friends in the city and Maggie and Jay had turned in early for the night. Neither Steve nor Aurora were needed for anything by SHIELD so they'd retired to her couch after dinner and were enjoying soft music and each other.

"It's quieter that's for sure." She nodded. She sighed happily, shifting closer to his side so she could rest her head on his shoulder and see what he was drawing. Her eyes scanned the page, taking in the likeness of herself on his page. "You always make me prettier than I actually am." She murmured, staring down at the picture of her twirling in the beautiful dress she'd bought for the charity event. He'd added pin curls and stocking with a seam and she imagined herself in his time for a moment, dancing with him before he left for the war.

"Hardly." Steve huffed a laugh, shifting so he could wrap his arm around her. "I barely ever do you justice."

She turned to him, her eyes rolling.

"You really know how to sweet talk a girl, don't you?" She shook her head, reaching up to brush some hair off his brow. Her hand lingered and he closed his eyes at her touch, sighing lightly.

She smiled.

"I can't remember if we decided that we were stopping this or not." She said softly and Steve's eyes opened. He looked down at her, his chest tight.

"You said we should." He said, clearing his throat. He focused back on the page. "I said I would do whatever you wanted and you said we should." He said as he placed his pencil back on the paper, intent on avoiding the conversation.

"I know. I don't even know what I want to do." She chewed on her lip. "We have so much fun but –"

"If you're worried about me you don't have to. I'm a big boy, I can handle myself." He chuckled, kissing her head lightly. She turned her head and captured his lips with hers and he dropped his pencil.

"I just feel like there's something there for you that's isn't there for me." She murmured, searching desperately in his blue eyes.

"There's not." He shook his head, lying through his teeth. He wasn't going to miss the opportunity to touch her again. He could deal with this. He just needed her.

"Promise?" She asked, her eyebrows knitting.

"Promise." He nodded, ducking his head to kiss her again. That seemed to be all she needed and her hands threaded through his hair, cupping the sides of his face.

Their movements were hazy. One moment they were kissing on the couch, the next he was depositing her on the bed while she shucked her shirt and he kicked off his pants.

Then they were naked, exploring every familiar inch of each other for the hundredth time at least. He kissed from her navel to her neck, his lips leaving a trail of heat between her breasts and he knew he wanted to take his time with her because it could be their last.

He pushed into her with a low groan, her legs anchoring his body in place. The pace he set was slow and steady. He wanted to savour her, to spoil her and most importantly to show her even a slight ounce of what he felt for her.

Her moan was muffled against his neck as he rocked into her, her thighs squeezing him tighter with each thrust. Her hand tangle in his hair, the harder she pulled the closer she was to her climax and he made sure to pull her back from that more than once. His hands explored where they could, paying special attention to her rosy nipples that gave her so much pleasure.

He could have worshiped her for hours but soon she was gasping his name, teetering on the edge of her orgasm for what seemed like forever.

"Steve…" She sighed against him, her nails sliding down his back just hard enough to tingle. "Oh Steve, I'm gonna…" He bit at the soft skin of her neck, eliciting a cry that made her whole body tense as she fell over the edge with a low moan in his ear.

He spilled into her in the next breath, a deep groan pulling from his throat. She stroked his hair as he came down from his high, inhaling her sweet scent and unwilling to move for the moment.

He felt her playing with the cropped hairs on the back of his neck and he nuzzled against her skin, sighing happily against her. God he loved moments like this. He loved having her in his arms, loved the feeling of her skin against his. He had fallen so completely in love with this woman, he didn't want to think for the moment that she didn't love him back. He loved her and that was all that mattered.

He told her so the words spilling from his lips breathlessly and without a second thought. The realisation of what he'd done hit him like a freight train a moment later and they both froze, Rory's hand tightening in his hair and his arms tightening around her.

"What?" She asked, her voice barely a whisper.

"Nothing." He shook his head, cursing himself to high heaven and hoping she hadn't heard him. It was stupid really; he'd said it right into her ear. Of course she'd heard him and he braced himself for the backlash.

"Steve." She said, her voice a little more forceful. She moved her hands from his hair and pressed on his chest.

"It's nothing." He muttered, shaking his head. His stomach dropped when he glanced up at her and found her amber eyes wide with panic.

"You just said –"

"I meant I love fucking you." He shook his head, feeling her hands press against his and her legs wiggle against the bed. She was trying to get away.

"No… No you distinctly said 'I love you'… Steve, what does that mean?" She shoved him lightly and he rolled off her. She got up quickly, moving away from him.

He groaned and placed a hand on his brow, pinching the bridge of his nose. Why did he have to slip like that? Why couldn't he have kept his mouth shut? She didn't love him. She didn't want to love him and now he'd definitely ruined what they had.

Disappointment well in his stomach again, filling the pit and making him ache. He could hear her rummaging around for her clothes and he knew this was it.

"It means literally what it means. I love you." He muttered bitterly, sitting up to watch her. She was rooting around for her clothes, her bra already secured around her chest and her panties in hand. "I didn't mean for it to happen."

"But you _just_ promised me that there was nothing more to it!" She glanced at him, her eyebrows knitting together.

"I did." He nodded, frowning slightly.

"You lied!"

"Because if I'd admitted what I felt, I'd never see you again." He said sadly, looking down at his hands. He bunched the blankets in his fingers.

" _No_ you'd still see me but –"

"Would I though?" he asked, cutting her off. "Look at you, you're running out of here like I beat you," He caught her flinch at his words and he scowled. "I knew you'd act like this."

Her lips dropped open into a shocked 'o'.

"Act like this?" She exclaimed, her voice a little on the shrill side. "I _told_ you that this was a no strings attached thing. I _told_ you there were no emotions involved. I _told_ you I didn't want anything from you except sex." She said, running her hand through her hair. She stopped, pausing for a minute, squeezing her eyes tightly closed. She breathed in deeply.

"Is it such a bad thing if I do love you?" Steve snapped, angry that she was getting mad at him for how he felt. She was acting like him loving her was a nightmare and it hurt like hell.

Her eyes opened and they narrowed on him.

"I never said it was a bad thing." She shook her head sharply.

"You sure are acting like it is." He pointed out, matter-of-factly, gesturing to her half dressed state. She paused again, glaring daggers at him. "What's so bad about me loving you?" Steve asked, his temper fraying ever so slightly.

"It's not a bad thing, Steve, it's just a shock. I don't… do love very well." She struggled with her words.

"But why?" He asked, pushing her to answer him.

"You _know_ why." She snarled at him. "You damn well know why I don't trust love."

Steve's eyes widened when he realised she was equating him to Jason. To that monster who had manipulated her and beat her and made her feel like a shell of herself.

"I am _not_ him." He scowled, snapping back. He was fuming; completely insulted that she would ever dare to compare them.

"You know I'm not him so don't you _dare_ compare me to him."

"I know you're not him but –"

"I never would be him. Ever. I would never hurt you like he did, you know that." He continued, standing up to face her.

"- I just don't do love and –"

"We work together Aurora. You know we do. We do everything together, we're rarely apart - " He continued, ignoring her rebuttal.

" - This was always going to be no strings attached, Steve–"

"You practically live in my bed when we're not in yours, I don't see how you can't feel _something_ for me."

"Because I _don't_! I don't love you, Steve!" Her voice rang loudly in the room and her words hung in the air.

All breath left Steve's lungs and his ears rang. Humiliating defeat made his skin tingle, red-hot and his cheeks stung with raw the heat coursing through him.

"Right." Was all he said as he turned away from her. "This really was just sex then."

He grabbed his clothes and pulled them on, trying to still his rapidly beating heart. There was his answer. She didn't love him and she never would.

"Steve –" She started to say but he held up a hand.

"No, it's ok." Steve stood, reaching for his shirt and pants. "I knew from the start that this was just sex but I guess I broke the cardinal rule huh?" He shrugged, pulling his shirt over his head. " _Don't let emotions get involved_."

"I'm –"

"You have nothing to be sorry for." He shook his head sadly. "I was warned by you and by Arthur. Hell I think Tony even tried to warn me. Natasha definitely did." He nodded firmly. "I thought I could be different for you. I guess I'm not."

He watched Aurora sink to the bed, her head in her hands. God was it that bad that he loved her. She looked about to pass out. That really did hurt. Things would never be the same again. His dream was now a nightmare and she was the harshest lesson he'd learned in a long time.

"I guess I just thought after a couple of months of you being there for me, helping me through my issues, caring about me… I thought you felt something for me. I know I did; I know I felt something for you after being there for you and doing things with you and caring about you I felt something that I haven't felt in my entire life." He paused, inning her with a hot, angry gaze. "I just. I don't understand." Steve leant over to grab his jacket off the floor where she'd shoved it off his shoulders earlier. "But I realise now I was wrong and I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry –" She started to say as he passed her but he waved a hand. " _Steve_."

"Not your fault." He cut her off quickly with a short, sharp bark. "You can't help how you don't feel about someone." He laughed, his voice coming out slightly choked. There was a long pause, as neither knew what to say.

Finally Steve broke the silence. "I guess this really is the end of whatever we were doing. We're not on the same page and I don't think we ever will be."

"No I –" She let out a shuddery breath and dropped her head to her hands again. He looked to the floor.

"I'm not him, Aurora. Not everyone is going to be him and I really hope whoever you meet next proves that to you." Steve said in a low voice as he opened the door. "I sure tried but I guess it wasn't enough."

"If I could love you I would." Her voice was soft and small and he almost missed it.

"Bull shit." He turned back to her, wanting to laugh. "Do yourself a favour, Roar and get over the jerk. You'll be able to accept someone else when you finally do." He stepped out of her room, leaving her behind as he closed the door on her.

He wanted to throw up and he wanted to cry but instead he made for Brooklyn intent on exhausting himself in his gym.

Inside the bedroom Aurora sat on her bed and cried, the room spinning around her.

 _Love_.

He'd said he'd loved her with such emotion that she'd almost stopped breathing. When had that happened? When had he gotten so lost in her that he'd actually fallen in love? How had she missed, it was the more important question.

Usually she was so good at picking up when things went too far, she had done with other lovers in the past but Steve had slipped right under the radar. He'd slipped past her defences and now she was being cruel and heartless and was breaking his heart.

Which was breaking her heart in turn.

The room spun again and she felt like throwing up.

Her nickname from his lips stung her. He'd never called her Roar, or even Rory, in the entire time that he'd known her. Not once could she recall a time when he hadn't called her Aurora. She'd liked it when he called her by her full name but just now when he'd called her Roar, it had cut a little deeper than she'd been expecting.

She felt dizzy again, nausea rolling through her like a wave and she lay back on the bed that still smelled like him and let out a small sob.

This felt too much like a break up. It hurt like hell knowing that she'd hurt him and she was unsure of where it was leaving them. Would they be able to remain friends or would just have to spend time apart? She didn't know if she could be around him without wanting to touch him or have him touch her.

Maybe she did like him to some degree. She just didn't know how to know if she did. She hadn't had to feel things for anyone since she was 15 years old and Jason was her entire world. She didn't know how to do this now; she didn't know what it felt like anymore. Did she love him? She liked being around him and he was in almost all her thoughts… but there was still that small voice of doubt, the little kick to her confidence and the forever pain of having been abused.

God, she was so fucked up. She could never just accept something as it was. Her own fear was holding her back from something amazing.

The fear of being hurt again.

She curled up in a ball as nausea turned her stomach again. She felt like a horrible person. She _was_ a horrible person.

* * *

Author's Note: So it was my birthday which is why this is late. Sorry about that! Thanks for all your kind words. This chapter hurt so I'm gonna go and write some of chapter 2 because... well... that also hurts. Whoops!

Playlist:

I Miss You - (Blink182 Cover) Samuel Little

Change for Love - Little Sea

In my Veins - Andrew Belle


	28. Love is for Children

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 28: Love is for Children

* * *

It was a breakup unlike she'd ever been through before because it wasn't really a breakup. Jason had been - she'd left, it had hurt and it was over – but Steve, Steve and Aurora had never had anything so they couldn't really 'break up'.

It was a breakup unlike anything she'd ever experienced before also because no one else had gotten as close as Steve had. Any other man she'd dated after Jason (the small handful that made it past a first date) were politely let down, told that she was too busy for anything serious and she'd had fun but she wasn't interested. They never got close enough for her to feel the sharp sting of having someone leave.

There was a hole now. He'd walked out her door and she'd cried all night. She had this horrible pain in her chest and coldness in her stomach like she'd swallowed ice. She'd hurt him badly and, in turn, she'd hurt herself.

" _I don't love you, Steve!"_ Her shrill and panicked voice still echoed in her mind and it felt like an axe to her brain. She could only imagine how it had felt for Steve. He'd just told her he loved her. He'd just put himself on the line and confessed his feelings – something she didn't know how to do – and she'd shot him down.

She was a horrible person, a heartbreaker just like Arthur had always joked about and she hated herself.

"Jesus Christ, Aurora! Where the hell is your brain today!?" Maggie clicked her fingers in front of Rory's eyes, bringing her back to the present.

"Wh-what?" She blinked, meeting her sister's brown-eyed and curious stare.

"Have you seen _any_ of Beth's apartment?" The elder Dugan asked, her eyebrow rising in concern.

Rory looked around guiltily. "No." She shook her head as she turned to her friend. "I'm so sorry Beth, it's beautiful." She apologized to the girl, who'd been in the city for 3 days. The sisters were supposed to be visiting their friend at her new apartment to give their approval and welcome her to the city, but Rory hadn't seen any of it. She'd been miles away, trying to keep composure while she died a little inside.

"You look like hell, Roar." Beth shook her head, her beautifully green eyes studying her closely. "What's going on?"

Rory tried to smile and felt the skin of her cheeks stretch painfully. She rubbed them, finding the skin dry and raw from crying all night.

"I'm just not feeling well." She said. It wasn't a lie. She had a splitting headache and she'd skipped breakfast _and_ lunch because she'd felt more than a little queasy. She guessed this is what guilt did to someone; she wasn't overly familiar with the emotion to know.

"Nuh uh, this is way more than that." Maggie shook her head, reaching forward and placing a hand on Rory's forehead. "You're warm but you don't have a fever."

"You look like you've been crying." Beth pointed out and Rory brought her other hand to her cheek.

"Migraine." She managed weakly. She dropped her gaze, unable to meet the 'that's bullshit' stares from her friends. She let out a sigh. What did it matter now if she told Beth? Her and Steve were over. She'd put the last nail in the coffin the night before.

"Steve and I had a fight." She mumbled, her hands dropping to her sides.

"Oh no." Maggie groaned, taking her sisters hand and leading her to the sofa. "Sit."

"Maggie, no I'm – "

"Shut up, Beth knows." Maggie rolled her eyes. Rory's gaze snapped onto her sister sharply.

"You _told_ her!"

"I'm trying not to be mad that _you_ didn't!" Beth said from somewhere behind them. Rory heard the click of glasses and then Beth was on her other side, pouring a finger of bourbon for the two of them. She handed Maggie a glass of soda. "Sorry mama, no hard stuff for you." She winked. Maggie chuckled, taking the offered glass with delicate fingers.

Rory took the booze, sipping it gingerly. She'd never been an on the rocks kind of person but it was a welcome burn right about now.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Beth." She apologized to her friend first. "I couldn't and we had these rules and –"

"Maggie explained why. She'd been keeping me updated." Beth waved her away. "But damn girl, I don't know how you managed to hold off for so long!" Beth grinned, elbowing her in the side. "Although I did see it coming after you told me about your epic makeouts on his birthday…"

Rory chuckled weakly as Maggie let out an exasperated noise at being left out of that one.

"By having more self control than either of you two horndogs." She rolled her eyes and Maggie smacked her lightly with the back of her hand.

"Excuse you, according to the internet wanting to climb Steve like a damn tree is completely normal right now." Maggie smiled sweetly and smoothed her skirt. "So what are you fighting about?"

Rory chewed on her lip, her stomach rolling.

"He said ' _I love you_ '."

Maggie knocked over her glass of soda as Beth clapped her hands to her mouth.

"Fuckin –he said _what_?!" Maggie exclaimed, jumping up to grab a dishcloth. She was back in seconds, throwing it on the spill before she looked at her sister with wide and excited eyes.

"He said _I love you_." Rory repeated stiffly.

"What did you say back?" Beth asked slowly. Rory could feel Beth studying her intently and she let out a small sigh.

"I said I didn't."

"Rory no!"

" _Aurora!"_ Maggie smacked her again, a little harder this time. "What is _wrong_ with you?!"

"Seriously, Rory? Why?!" Beth rubbed the spot on her arm that Maggie had smacked. Both women sounded as distressed as she felt and Rory felt tears spring to her eyes.

"What else was I _meant_ to say?!" She snapped at both of them, feeling a hysterical edge to her tone.

"How about maybe _uh hi I love you too_?!" Maggie suggested, throwing her hands in the air. Her eyes rolled but she wrapped an arm around her baby sisters shoulders. Beth reached for Rory's hand. "Why are you crying, baby girl?" Maggie murmured, pulling her close.

"Because of the way he looked at me. It was like I had told him I killed his dog. Or that I… I… I…"

"Didn't love him?" Beth supplied and she glared at her friend. "You hurt him."

"I did. So badly. We argued because I kind of panicked and started to run –"

"– unsurprisingly – " Maggie sighed.

" – I compared him to Jason –"

" – oh honey _no_." Beth groaned, squeezing her hand.

" – I didn't mean to but he was the last person to say that to me and I just… I don't… _know_ what I feel." It was like the banks of a river bursting and she fell forward onto her lap, sobbing into her hands. "He got mad at me," She mumbled into her lap and Maggie and Beth leaned forward to decipher what she was saying.

"He pointed out all the ways we work and I just… I panicked. It terrified me, so I tried to run but I hurt him and now he won't talk to me and I've just lost probably my best friend in the entire world because we were so damn _stupid_."

"Shhh, c'mon honey. You weren't stupid…" Beth soothed, rubbing her back.

"That boy is in way too deep to be gone for good. Trust me." Maggie rolled her eyes. Rory sat up, wiping her eyes.

"I yelled it at him. I didn't just tell him, I _yelled_ it." She shook her head, letting out a shuddery breath. "and… and the truth is I don't even know if it's true."

"Of course it's not _true_!" Maggie let out a laugh. Rory blinked at her sister before looking at Beth. She only found the exact same expression on her friends face. "Rory, Steve is the first man that I have seen you get close to and completely be yourself around in _years_." She shook her head, exasperated by her sister's stubborn way.

"I'm close with Arthur." Rory pointed out defiantly. "And Tony, and Clint and –"

"Known since childhood, like a brother, colleague." Maggie ticked off on her fingers. "Steve is the first man in a very long time you've met and been friends with and you've let get _close_ to you."

"Maggie's right, Roar. I haven't been around you guys all that often but you're… you're at ease around him." Beth smiled softly when she found the words. "You went out of your way to throw him a birthday."

"You look after him." Maggie added. "And you let him look after you. Don't think I didn't hear about your little drunken escapade after Pepper's birthday!" She laughed as Rory's mouth dropped open.

" _HOW_ could you have possibly heard about that?!"

"Nat and I talk." She said simply. Rory looked to Beth.

"Arthur." She shrugged and Rory huffed.

"Is nothing in my life private?"

"No." Both women shook their heads.

"You're the baby, baby." Maggie kissed her cheek. She linked their fingers. "I'm serious, Rory. Don't let Steve go. Don't hold onto what Jason did to you and miss out on someone who makes you feel alive." Maggie urged, squeezing Rory's hand.

She squirmed. She had no idea what she felt. Everything that Maggie and Beth were saying was true. She _was_ at ease around Steve and she went out of her way to make sure he was happy. She loved doing things for him… she liked pleasing him. But was that love?

"How do you know when you… feel things for someone?" She asked. "I haven't… had to figure this out since I was 16 and that was easy… this is… this is hard." She paused. "and scary. This is so damn scary."

She was at a loss. She wanted to believe she liked him, to love him even but she didn't know. How does anyone know they love someone? How does anyone measure that emotion when they've spent your entire adult life running away from it?

Maggie and Beth exchanged a glance.

"You just… know. You want to spend every moment with them." Maggie replied, playing absently with the ring on her finger.

"You think about them, when they're not there. You miss them." Beth added. "They're the best part of your day."

Rory smiled. Well Steve certainly was that. She often found herself, in the rare moment she was alone, wanting to be with him and when he went on missions she missed him more than anything. She had once put it down to being worried about him but it was a combination of worry and missing a piece of herself.

"You prioritize their needs over yours. That is definitely something you do for Steve all the time." Maggie gave her hand a squeeze. "You threw him a massive birthday party, you bought him presents you _knew_ he would love."

"They're your best friend." Beth added softly. "You've said so yourself a hundred times, he is your best friend. That's the best thing to have in someone you love."

Rory could feel she was blushing. She had a stupid grin on her face too. Her stomach felt awful and tight and she realized this was what all those romance stories talked about when they said 'butterflies'. She had butterflies thinking about Steve. There was a kind of tightness in her chest like it was going to burst and the revalation hit her hard.

She liked him. She really did like him so damn much and she _wanted_ to love him.

"Steve cares about you so much, it's unreal. Everyone can see it. You make him happy and he does the same in return." Maggie spoke when Rory didn't. "Even before you started sleeping together. We could all see it."

"It felt like a breakup when he walked out." Rory said grimly. "How do I fix this?" She asked, looking between her friends.

"You talk to him. He'll understand." Beth assured her. "The guy is head over ass for you. He'll understand when you tell him you panicked. He knows your history and he understands PTSD better than anyone."

Rory frowned lightly, confused by her friend's choice of words.

"PTSD?"

"It's not just a military thing, Roar. You were hurt emotionally and physically by someone who was meant to love you." Beth let go of her friends' hand and reached for their drinks. "You don't just 'get over' that. The thought of that situation again made you panic. I'd say that's pretty close to PTSD." She gave a shrug as she sipped her drink.

Rory reached for hers. She'd never thought about it that way before. She'd spent years moving past a car accident and her messed up dreams. It had never occurred to her that she would have to do the same for relationships as well.

"Look, tomorrow the three of us are going to go out. We're going to get our makeup and hair done and we're going to go to the charity thing." Maggie smiled, also letting her sister go so she could finally clean up the drink she'd spilled over the coffee table. "You can talk to him there while you look completely amazing and he'll be swept away by your charm."

Rory let out a snort, splashing her drink over her cheek a little.

"I have no charm, Maggie. I haven't had to figure out how to tell someone I like them since I was a teenager. I… I have no idea what I would say."

"We'll figure it out." Maggie smiled, nodding confidently.

Rory returned the smile. Her sister would stop at nothing to make sure she was ok. It was the best part about being the youngest child sometimes.

* * *

The day hadn't started out so great. The headache she'd had the day before was still there when she'd woken up and it had turned into an even bigger one by lunchtime. She hadn't eaten both because the thought and sight of food made her want to vomit and she was either burning hot or shivering. There was no in between.

"I don't know what'd going on, Grandma." She whined while she fanned herself. "One minute I'm hot, the next I'm cold and I just feel lousy." She pouted as Peggy handed her some tea.

"Stress will lower your immune system, my darling." Peggy said grimly, placing a hand on her granddaughter's forehead. "You're burning hot."

"I know." She sighed, glancing at her dress in the corner. Her hair and makeup had been done after Pepper had pulled some strings to get the stylists to come to them. She was glad. She hadn't felt like leaving the tower.

She knew this anxiety had a lot to do with looming moment when she told Steve how she really felt, but the flu like symptoms were new. She took a sip of her tea and sighed. She could do this. She had to do this. She couldn't let this go. She couldn't let them end like this.

"Hey! The Avenger's are on the red carpet." Sharon called out, hushing the women in Pepper's living room. Everyone turned their attention to the giant TV where the outside of Stark Tower was a media circus.

Tony and Pepper filled the screen, the latter CEO having gone down moments earlier to 'arrive' to her own home. Jane had gone with her and the screen filled with the astrophysicist and the Thunder God, both looking stunning in traditional Asgardian attire.

"She looks like she was born to wear that stuff." Darcy sighed, watching her best friend in awe. Rory smiled, agreeing with her.

"Who's the girl again?" Beth asked as Clint helped Jessica out of the car they were in.

"Jessica. She's… complicated." Sharon replied. "Nice girl though. Little naive and totally smitten with Barton." She rolled her eyes and Rory laughed.

"She'll learn." Rory murmured. "Ohhh Nat looks so pretty!" She smiled. Then her stomach dropped because on Natasha's arm was Steve, decked out in his military dress. His hair was shorter again, smoothed down, as it would have been in the 40s. He stood tall with Natasha's arm linked in his and he smiled at the assassin.

The cameras went mental but he handled himself well, pausing momentarily to answer a question or two before moving on.

Rory's jaw hurt from clenching it so hard and her stomach rolled.

"God, no wonder you fell for him." Sharon breathed and Rory's head snapped up. Peggy laughed beside her and Rory realized her cousin hadn't been talking to her.

"Steve has always had a certain attractiveness." Peggy mused. "Any man in uniform did but he seemed to fill it out a little more."

"I still think you're an idiot for not agreeing to be his date, Roar." Darcy elbowed her. She smiled, shaking her head.

"I don't want my face on the camera." She shrugged. "You're going to have a field day over the next few days scrubbing Natasha and Clint off the web."

"I've been working on some programs." Darcy said smugly. "Nat subtly changed her appearance. Blonde hair, blue eyes. Cheekbones slightly contoured higher. The program will pick up those photos easy enough and delete them, I promise."

Rory nodded, impressed.

"I'll believe it when I see it." She said, knowing full well Darcy would do it easily. The woman had proven herself more than once to be full of fantastic ideas. She just needed SHIELD's resources to help pull them off.

"Alright, time to get into your dress, Roar." Maggie clapped her hands. "You're the only one not dressed and the guys will be here to escort us any second." She looked at the clock, smoothing her hands over her rounded stomach.

Rory sighed, rising to her feet. The thought of putting the dress killed her ever so slightly. It was so hot right now but she needed to go down there and talk to Steve and she couldn't quite do that in her underwear.

She took the dress and Maggie followed her into the bathroom.

"You're going to be fine, baby girl." Maggie soothed as Rory untied her robe.

"I know." She nodded, taking the dress from Maggie. She stepped into it and pulled it over her shoulders. The fabric was constricting for a moment before she took a steadying breath and smoothed it against her skin as Maggie zipped it.

"You look like mom." Maggie smiled. She placed a long, thin, box in Rory's hands.

"You brought mom's pearls with you?" Rory blinked as she opened the lid.

"I was going to wear them but that dress is killer. It suits them better." Maggie kissed her sisters cheek. "You need the luck." She winced and rubbed her stomach again.

"What's wrong?" Rory asked as she fastened the pearls to her neck. She had to admit she looked amazing. Her hair was styled in perfect victory rolls and her makeup was subtle but enough. She looked like she'd stepped out of a movie from the 30s and she was more excited than every to go downstairs now.

"Nothing. Peanut is using my bladder as a soccer ball. Swear to god this kid is going to be an all star." Maggie laughed. "Get out, I need to pee."

Rory laughed and gave herself one more once over before stepping back into the other room.

Minutes passed in a blur. One moment there was a knock on the door, the next they were walking into the busy ballroom. She tried to be subtle about looking around for him but the next moment there was an assassin at her arm, guiding her toward the bar.

"He's over there." Natasha murmured, nodding her head to where Steve was standing and talking to some important looking people. "He's bored out of his mind." She chuckled.

"He looks it." Rory agreed, noting the glazed over look. "How… is he?" She didn't have to guess to know Natasha knew everything.

"Not great but he'll deal." The Russian gave her a grim smile and ordered them two flutes of champagne. "How are you?"

"I feel like ass, actually." She admitted, placing her palm to her forehead. The hot flush was gone, but her skin felt a little clammy. Natasha's eyebrow rose every so slightly and she sighed. "I hate myself."

"You know you're an idiot, don't you?" Natasha took her drink and took a sip.

"I'm going to talk to him tonight, Nat." Rory promised. "I… may have made a slight mistake." She smiled, those butterflies roaring through her stomach again. She had to put the drink down as her hands shook.

" _Thank Christ for that."_ Natasha breathed in Russian. "Who knocked some sense into you?" She asked with a smirk.

"My sister and Beth. They're both _very_ good at pointing out when I'm being an idiot." Rory mused. Natasha smiled widely,

"You're going to make him the happiest man on the planet, you know that?" She reached for her friends hand and squeezed it. "You have no idea how much he loves you."

Rory glanced at him again and loosed a breath.

"I think I have some idea." She nodded, her voice barely a whisper.

As if he'd heard her, Steve looked over. Their eyes locked for the longest moment and the butterflies went mental again. A small laugh bubbled up in her throat and she had to look away, gripping onto the bar tightly as her vision swam.

"Rory? Are you ok?" Natasha grabbed her shoulder, her green eyes alive with worry.

"I'm ok. I just… I fucking love him, Nat." She swallowed. "I'm such an idiot. I didn't… know what it was supposed to feel like and I… I love him." She looked over to where Steve was and found him gone.

Natasha laughed.

"Do you know the reason behind why love is for children, _sestrenka_?" Natasha shook her head in amusement. "Children feel things with unabashed freedom. Love is too confusing for adults to ever comprehend but children? They understand it, they embrace it; Love like you're a child, Rory. You'll find it easier than questioning it like an adult."

Rory stared at the assassin for a second before she hugged her tightly.

"Thank you." She breathed. "I'm… not great at knowing what it feels like. I'm learning."

Natasha hugged her tightly back.

"Come on. I think the Captain can wait a moment longer for your declaration of love. I like this song." She pulled away but grabbed Rory's hand, leading her toward their friends on the dance floor.

* * *

Steve watched the dance from the outside balcony where he stood in the shadows. It was a nice setup inside the ballroom of Stark Tower. It had been done up to look like dances straight out of prewar 1940s, dances which Steve had also attended alone and watched from the shadows. He had to hand it to Stark; no matter what era the man knew how to throw a party. Just like his father.

Everyone was dressed to perfection, the men in sharp suits and Stetsons, the women in modest necklines and long skirts. They were all having a great time too, dancing and laughing while the music played. The band Tony had hired played popular music from the present day in vintage styles. Steve thought it was clever but he just couldn't enjoy it.

His heart was broken. The girl he loved was inside, dancing with Clint Barton and she looked radiant. Her dress was a beautiful red, white and blue number and the seams of her stockings were straight up the backs of her legs. There was not a hair out of place either and her lips with the most kissable shade of red he'd ever seen.

But he couldn't touch her. He couldn't kiss her. He couldn't love her. Not anymore. She didn't love him. She'd made it quite clear by yelling it at him. The memory of it still made him feel sick.

He didn't regret loving her, not for a damn moment. He just had to try not to think about what she'd said to him after he'd said it.

The door opened and the silhouette that stepped out was one he'd recognize anywhere.

"I'm fairly certain you're not meant to spend the dance outside, Steve." Peggy chastised him as she walked over. She looked just as good as Aurora, in a dress as red as her lips and her greying hair worn how he remembered it all curled in victory rolls and pinned in place.

He smiled. "I guess with two left feet, I'm too afraid someone might ask me to dance, ma'am. I might step on their toes." He replied with a sad sigh.

Peggy chuckled softly, leaning against the railing beside him. She pulled her shawl tighter around her shoulders as a late October breeze brushed over them.

"You should be in there dancing with all the young women, Captain." She winked and he laughed. "Why on earth are you out here?" He could feel her studying him, her eyes asking questions he didn't want to answer. He sighed.

"I guess I just don't feel in the dancing mood, Peg." He shrugged, turning his back on the glass doors, away from Rory dancing with someone that wasn't him.

"What's happened?" She asked him and he wasn't surprised that she knew something was wrong.

He held his breath as he thought about how to phrase what has been bothering him for a while. It didn't matter now if Peggy knew did it? They were stopping this thing, had stopped it, so what did it matter if he confided in his old friend.

"I made a fool of myself, Peg." He stated, shaking his head. "I'm in love with a dame who doesn't love me back."

"Oh?" Peggy questioned but said nothing more, waiting for him to go on.

"She can't love me back apparently." He continued, looking out over the twinkling lights of the city. "Which is fine. I understand why she can't but god damn it frustrates the hell out of me. I just want to be with her and I can't."

Peggy laid her hand on his arm. "Steve, we've talked about this." She said softly, and he looked at her in confusion. He didn't remember talking to her about anything to do with Rory. "I'm married, I can't run away from my family like that."

Steve stared at her for a few moments before it clicked. He burst out laughing, reaching to pull Peggy into his side.

"Peg, my lovely Peg." He swooped down and kissed her cheek gently. "I do still love you a helluva lot but I'm not talking about you anymore. I know you're off the market." He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and turned them so they were facing the ballroom.

Inside Rory was still on her feet, dancing some kind of jitterbug with Tony. She was laughing, her eyes sparkling and a grin lighting her up like a million bucks. "I'm talking about her." He pointed her out and Peggy let out a soft sound of realisation.

"So you finally told her." The woman said and Steve grinned sadly knowing that Peggy's sharp mind hadn't missed anything at all.

"I did." He nodded, casting his eyes down at his shoes. "She doesn't love me, Peg."

"Oh yes she does." Peggy said gently.

"She flat out told me she doesn't." Steve shook his head and Peggy laughed softly. She placed a hand on his arm and squeezed.

"She's been miserable for the last 48 hours, Steve. She's moping around like a heartbroken teenager and trust me I've raised four of them in my lifetime. Five if you count Tony." Peggy chuckled. "She just needs to figure it out on her own. I hate to sound like an old cliché but give her some time."

"You'd never be an old cliché, Peg." Steve winked, leaning back on the guardrail gently. "I just don't understand why she's so resistant. I could have sworn she felt something for me too."

Peg sighed, her lips pursing.

"The problem with Aurora is she gets so damn stuck on one little thing, that she forgets to see the bigger picture; which is fine, we all have our flaws and truthfully her father was the same. It's the Dugan in them." Peggy smiled softly, patting the back of his hand with her free one. "But she does love you. Don't give up."

"I don't think I could if I tried, Peg. There's only been one woman to rival how I feel about her in my lifetime and that's you." He paused and glanced at her.

Peggy let out a soft laugh.

"Listen to you being very candid and forward about your feelings. There was a time, Steve, when you didn't have a clue how to voice them."

"I think I have her to thank for that too." Steve smiled, "I have her to thank for a lot. I've met few people more beautiful and perfect than her. She's alive in the greatest possible way and she makes me want to be a better man. She really… brought me out of my shell, for lack of a better phrase." He chuckled.

"I did always say you resemble a turtle with your shield on your back." Peggy chuckled. "So how long has this casual affair been going on?" She nudged him and his cheeks reddened.

"What?" He tried to play innocent but the look on Peggy's face said she knew better.

"We might be talking about my granddaughter, Steve, but I know a very satisfied woman when I see one. I'm not blind."

Steve let out a choked laugh and he ran a hand through his hair.

"Jesus, Peg. I can see where Aurora get's that mouth from." He chuckled. Peggy's gaze stayed strong and slowly he broke. "Since July. Just after the 4th. But I think I fell in love with her some where around June, I just didn't realise it."

"Sounds about right." Peggy glanced back at her granddaughter, who had finished dancing with her grandfather. "She's liked you for a long time too, she's just too stubborn to admit it. I have never seen her look as happy as she did on the 4th."

"I don't think I've ever been happier. Everything she did for my birthday that weekend blew me away. Everything she'd done since the beginning has blown me away…" He admitted, his eyes trained on Aurora as she laughed at something Darcy was saying. "I don't know what I did for her but I'm glad I did."

"You were there for her without expectation of repayment." Peggy replied. "You showed her that who she is, is just perfect." Her eyes were trained on Rory as laughed at something Tony was saying. "Come on, come inside and enjoy the party." Peggy offered him her hand. "There's no sense staying out here being miserable. She'll come around. It may take a while but she will." She assured him, holding out her hand.

He took it after a few seconds and let out a deep sigh as she led him into the fray. He caught Aurora's eyes from across the room for a second time that night and felt his heart stop.

She was killing him. He needed to go to her. He needed to hold her and kiss her and tell her he was willing to wait for her – but he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't force her into loving him, so he looked away.

"Maybe we could grab that dance we never got, huh Peg?" He asked, nodding to the dance floor.

"I would like that." Peggy nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder and his hand rested on her waist.

He ignored the room and danced with Peggy, letting the song wash over him. He actually knew what was playing this time and it wasn't at all modern. He remembered it well from his time.

"What's this song called again, Peg?" He asked, smiling lightly.

" _It's Been a Long, Long Time_ which is fitting for us, don't you think?" She laughed softly. He smiled.

If he closed his eyes he could almost imagine being back in his own time, he could almost imagine Peg being young again… but that came with the shocking realization that he didn't want that now. He didn't want to go back he wanted to be here and he wanted to be dancing with someone else.

There was a tap on his shoulder as the song finished and he turned to find Aurora standing beside him, wringing her fingers as if she were nervous.

"Mind if I cut, Grandma?" she said in a soft voice, managing a small smile.

She was even more beautiful up close and it made his breath catch in his throat. He couldn't help but smile shyly as Peggy agreed, kissed his cheek and handed him over to her.

"Go get her, tiger." She whispered in his ear, making him chuckle.

The band started to play something else, a cover of a modern song he didn't know and he held her gently, keeping his distance respectful as they swayed to the beat.

"Hey." She said softly after a few moments. Neither really knew what to say and it felt a little awkward for a beat as the music washed over them.

"You look beautiful." He blurted out finally, needing to break the silence between them. A blush rose on her cheeks and she looked down, away from him.

"Thanks." She murmured. She was silent a few moments longer and he concentrated on not standing on her toes. "I'm sorry." She said finally, looking up at him. He met her amber eyes and then couldn't look away. Time seemed to stop and he felt his heart break all over again. God he loved her and she didn't love him, but he had to be ok because if he wasn't they would be no more.

"You don't have to apologize. I knew you didn't love me and I didn't mean to tell you." He shrugged lightly. "I put you in that situation when I knew what the outcome would be. You don't have to –"

"The thing is," She interrupted him, her eyes hard with determination. Her hand squeezed his and she turned spinning away from him lightly as the music dictated her to. When spun was back into them she pulled herself closer. "I think I do."

Steve stumbled before pulling her close, right into the crook of his arm. His hand planted firmly on her back instead of just resting it there like it had been before. He turned into her, closing whatever remaining space there was between them possessing her and shielding her from the rest of the room.

"You what?" He asked, his eyes wide, and his heart seeming to stop behind his ribs. He held his breath. He wasn't entirely sure he'd heard her correctly.

"I think… I do too. Love you. I think." She fell over her words, her voice merely a whisper and she swallowed. "I like you a whole lot anyway so –" She cut herself off sharply, swallowing hard. "It's just that –" another pause as he dipped her. "It hurt so fucking much when you walked out. It felt like a breakup."

"Tell me about it." He agreed quickly. "I didn't want us to end but I was hurt that you would compare me to him." He murmured, pulling her ever so slightly closer. His body relaxed into hers, melting into the beautiful creature that was finally his. "That you would think I could do everything he did to you."

"I didn't mean to do that. I know you wouldn't ever do what he did. I've been holding on to him for far too long and I'm sorry." She sucked in a deep breath, leaning her head ever so slightly forward. " _So_ I guess I just kind of thought about it and well, it's like why would it feel like we'd broken up if I didn't feel _something_ for you?" She smiled, watching his eyes widen with shock again and then he sighed with relief.

"You… I… Aurora…" He stammered on his words. He lifted his head and glanced around the room. There were too many people around for him to be able to sweep her up into a kiss, so he took a deep breath instead.

"Look," He started in a low voice, dropping his head back down so his lips were beside her ear. He felt her shiver and he smiled. "I know you've been hurt and I know you try and avoid this kind of thing where you can," He said slowly. "But can we just try _us_?"

"I think we've been trying 'us' since July, Steve." Rory chuckled, leaning forward to rest her head against his chest. His arms tightened around her instinctively and he rested his chin on her head. "I'd still like to keep it quiet, but if you're willing to forget what I said the other day then I'm willing to take a gamble on us."

Steve felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. She _liked_ him; She wanted to be with him. There was no more wondering and trying to guess if they'd become something more. They had and there was no stopping him now. He was going to cherish this girl until the day he died.

The song finished and he stepped back from her, taking her hand. "C'mon, you look like you could do with some air." He murmured, pulling her toward the balcony he'd spent the night on.

He ushered her outside and into the shadows, not caring if anyone had seen them leave. He wasted no time in having his lips on hers as he pulled her in by her hips to hold her tight. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she melted into him with a sigh.

It was a kiss fueled by relief and adrenalin and his hands dropped lower and lower, coming to rest and grip her ass tightly through her dress.

"Steve!" She gasped, pulling away from him but not enough to step away. "Someone will see." She glanced around quickly before realizing they were alone. The bitter October winds were keeping them inside but she didn't feel the cold. Her skin was running hot and his body was doing a good job of shielding her from any breeze.

"I'm tempted to let them." He murmured, kissing a line from her jaw to her collarbone. "You're well and truly mine now."

Butterflies fluttered in Rory's stomach at the thought and she gripped his shoulders tightly.

"Keeping it quiet remember?" She murmured. "I don't want to have to explain to my grandparents just yet about how their old friend is nailing their granddaughter."

Steve groaned and pulled away from her.

"The word ' _granddaughter'_ is banned in our relationship, ok?" He said seriously, taking her chin between his thumb and forefinger.

Rory's heart skipped an excited beat at the label.

"Ok ok, _fine_. I also don't want to have to explain this to SHIELD. I think you're actually still government property." She wrinkled her nose and he rolled his eyes.

"Worst they could do is fire us."

"Me. They'd fire me. You're Captain-Fucking-America – "

"And you're _fucking_ Captain America so I think I can pull some strings." He said, kissing her gently once more. She laughed and shook her head.

"I don't want to be accused of sleeping my way to the top, thank you." She said as she gazed up at him, her breath catching in her throat. She really did feel something for him. She wasn't sure if it was love but it made her feel stupidly happy and giddy and just alive. She'd wished she'd figured it out sooner.

"Steve I…"

"Cap? Hey Cap?" Tony Stark's voice from the doorway behind them had the two jumping apart, trying to find a way to nonchalantly stand so they didn't look suspicious. "There you are, I've been looking all over. Hey Kiddo," Tony spotted them both just as Rory arranged herself against the guardrail, looking out over the city skyline. "Should have known you'd be with him."

"What'd you need me for, Stark?" Steve turned his head as Tony made his way over.

"Avengers Assemble. Nick just called, said something about a group of mutants holding a bunch of people hostage in a movie theatre in Midtown." Now he was closer, Rory could see he was already half suited up, the black skin-tight skivvy he wore under the metal of Ironman sticking out from under his tux. "They're apparently threatening to blow up the building. NYPD want us to check it out first because they're mutants and we're _equipped to deal with this kind of thing_." He rolled his eyes as he quoted with his fingers. "Save the city once and they call on you for every damn thing."

Steve sighed and glanced at Aurora. This had come at the worst possible time and the dismay must have read on his face because she laughed at his expression.

"Duty calls, Cap." She winked at him, nudging him with her shoulder.

"Give me 10 minutes to get suited up." He replied, turning away from her to nod at Tony. The Iron Man grinned.

"You have your suit here?"

"It feels silly not to bring it with me for this exact reason." Steve shrugged, making Tony laugh.

"Spoken like a true Hero. 10 minutes. Don't let anyone see you though. The press will go nuts and we'll never get out of here on time." With that he turned and disappeared back inside.

Steve turned back to Aurora. "I'm so sorry."

"No, it's ok. Go." She waved a hand. "Thus the life of being a superheroes' girlfriend."

He grinned. The use of that word made him extraordinarily happy and he ducked down to plant a kiss right on her lips.

"Say that again." He requested.

"What?" She murmured, her lips pinned by his. "Girlfriend?"

"Yes." He nodded, his hands circling her waist easily. "My girlfriend. My girl. My best girl. Bucky would be so damn jealous right now. He always had a thing for redheads."

Rory laughed, throwing her head back and granting him access to her neck again.

"C'mon, Captain. Duty calls. Quicker you leave me and save the city, the quicker you come back." She pushed on his chest and he left her lips with a sigh.

"Least I have something to come back to now. Might make me less reckless."

Rory giggled. "You? Less reckless? Never." She shook her head, pecking him lightly again before she pulled away. "Please be careful though. I would like you back in one piece."

"As you wish." He winked and she laughed.

"Ok Wesley, enough of that." Rory took his hand and tugged him inside. They headed for the table Maggie and Peggy were seated at. Both women had satisfied smirks on their faces and Steve figured Rory must have spoken to Maggie.

" _Fuck_ , Maggie told Grandma too." Rory groaned, squeezing his arm.

"It wasn't Maggie." Steve shook his head and Rory looked up at him in surprise. Her elbow jabbed him in the ribs when she took in his expression.

"You talked to Grandma?" Rory hissed at him as they approached.

"She guessed." Steve shrugged, a guilty smile crossing his face.

"You're so damn lucky I like you a whole bunch, Steve Rogers. That is something she should _never_ know!" Rory sounded so mortified and Steve laughed. Her cheeks were turning a shade of pink he'd never seen before and it was utterly adorable.

"She's fine with it. She really did guess, I promise. Apparently you look like a 'satisfied woman'" He muttered with a smirk, ginning at the indignant squeak she let out. Her cheeks deepened four shades to crimson and he laughed.

"We were wondering where you two had been." Peggy said, over the top of a champagne flute while she gave Steve a pointed look. Her fingers brushed the corners of her mouth a couple of times, as if rubbing something off.

Rory glanced up and found a very prominent lipstick smudge around Steve's mouth. "Uh… Steve…" She also gave him the same look and touched his mouth. His fingers came away tinged in red and he realised she'd left her mark with those bright red lips.

"Awh hell." He muttered, scrubbing with his thumb. "I have to go suit up anyway." He glanced around before he brushed a hand over her back. "I'll be seeing you later." He murmured as he leant closer to her ear.

"I'll meet you at your place." She nodded. "Stay safe."

"Sure thing, doll." He winked and then he was gone, pushing through the crowd with his head ducked low.

"Good god, I could burst with happiness if I wasn't already bursting with a baby." Maggie said, pulling Rory's attention back to them.

"Thanks for pushing me." Rory laughed as she fell into the seat beside her sister. "And you pushed him?" She asked her grandmother, giving her a raised eyebrow look.

"I didn't push him. I just reminded him what you were like and told him that sometimes you were a little slow on the uptake." Peggy smile back at her innocently. "Not that the man was ever going to give up on you."

"The shit I've put him through recently he should have." Rory sighed, resting her hand on her chin. Her phone chimed in her clutch and she took it out, half expecting to see a message from Steve.

A frown furrowed her brow when she read the automated message informing her that a scan with some facial recognition software she was currently running on her computer had picked up a hit. A hit with 100% accuracy? That was frightening to say the least because there was only one face it was scanning for.

"Steve?" Maggie asked in a teasing voice.

"No actually…" She trailed off absently as another message saying the exact same thing as the first came through. Two hits in a matter of seconds. That was very interesting. "Work stuff." She stood. Peggy caught her hand.

"Work?" She inquired, hoping her granddaughter wasn't running off to be swept up in something horrible.

"It'll only take a minute." Rory replied, shaking her off.

"If you're not back in 20 minutes I'm coming up there." Peggy warned. "I won't let this ruin your good mood."

Rory held her grandmothers gaze for a few moments before she nodded.

"I'll be back in 18." She promised with a wink before she pushed through the crowd and out of the ballroom.

It didn't take her long to get the empty conference room where she'd set up camp to hunt for Marcus. She went straight to the laptop and opened it, peering down at the data it had collected.

She'd been tracking major cities all over the world for the last 3 weeks and hadn't received one hit. Now there were 6 different ones flashing at her. London, Amsterdam, Paris, London and New York, all within an hour of each other like he was hopping across the globe somehow.

"Jarvis is there a glitch in the tech?"

" _Tech is running at 100%"_

She frowned. New York was most recent so she clicked it, opening up the location data.

Her blood ran cold. _Columbus Circle New York, NY, USA._ **40.7681° N, 73.9819° W**.

That was literally on her doorstep as of 20 minutes ago.

She opened up the images that had been captured and gasped. They showed Marcus smiling up at Stark Tower security cameras all around the outside of the building.

"Jarvis, these are from Stark Tower."

"Correct, Agent Dugan!"

A voice behind her made her jump and reach for her gun, but it wasn't where it should have been. She'd left it off for the party, citing the fact that they were in Stark Tower as the reason it was safe. She swore at her stupidity and scrambled away, but two strong arms wrapped themselves around her body and held her still. Something pricked her neck and then heat radiated from the spot, seeping through her veins, down her arm and her side.

Someone stroked her hair as her body started to go numb and lax within a few seconds. She slithered down against the desk, her fingers scrambling for purchase on the glass surface.

"Shhhh, Agent Dugan," A distinctive German accent whispered in her ear, his arms tightening around her waist as she struggled to hold herself up. "Everything is going to be _wonderful_."

Panic flooded through Rory's body as her vision started to cloud over black but there was nothing she could do except watch and pray Zemo wouldn't make it out of the tower.

* * *

Author's Note: I did think about making you all wait another couple of chapters but I think I'm going to break your hearts sufficiently soon anyway... Just a quick note as well to say that if you're reviewing as a guest and you ask me a question I can't reply. Also, if you're reviewing as a guest and you're being a nasty toolbag (you know who you are, it's chapter 27 already just leave!) your reviews will be deleted immediately. Thanks!

Playlist:

Hero/Heroine – Boys Like Girls

I Will Follow You Into The Dark – Death Cab for Cutie

Tear You Apart – She Wants Revenge


	29. Vivisection

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 29:

* * *

"This is useless." Steve said into his coms as he jogged down another empty street. "I feel like we're chasing our asses."

" _We're chasing something, Cap. I just don't think it's our asses."_ Natasha replied. Steve let out a string of curses and stopped, craning his neck first one way and then the other. The movie theatre had been a bust. By the time the Avengers had gotten there the mutants were gone, scattering themselves around the block and pulling out all the stops to separate the Avengers. The NYPD had managed to get civilians off the street and Steve hadn't seen the Lower East Side look this empty since the invasion.

The group they were chasing seemed to be made up of a pyro-mutant, a guy who could shoot darts from his fingertips and a woman who could make living, breathing copies of herself. They were all hell bent on creating havoc… but now it was quiet. There wasn't a peep and the air was electrified with anticipation of something much bigger still to come.

"Has the NYPD spotted anything else?" He asked, his gut tight. This was not how he wanted to spend his night. He wanted to spend it in the arms of a beautiful girl, _his_ beautiful girl, working through everything they needed to. This was the opposite of that.

" _Not a single thing. Do you think they just gave up?"_ Clint responded, his breath coming out in a short puff.

" _They set fire to the library, Barton. This doesn't feel like a couple of kids on teen-fueled destruction_." Bruce responded, still in human form because the Hulk hadn't been needed yet.

Steve clicked his tongue. It felt like something bigger, something none of them had worked out yet but he didn't know what.

" _What's their end game_?" Tony asked the question he was thinking. They had to have a motive, a reason for creating this mess. Sure, kids liked to go on joyrides but this was more than vandalism. People could be getting hurt. This wasn't some petty crime; this felt like it was part of something larger.

The sound of laughter came from Steve's right and he went running toward it. He skidded around a corner and into an alley where three teens were hunched over.

"Turn around slowly, hands up please." He ordered them. One of the girls laughed, the others echoing her and he realised they were all the same person.

"Whatever you say, Captain. Madam Hydra say's _hello_ and _enjoy_." She grinned before she blinked and they were gone. Steve startled, swearing loudly. They'd left behind a package and Steve knelt down over it. There was a note attached and he picked it up gingerly.

 ** _Clock's ticking Captain, for both you and her.  
\- Madam Hydra._**

Steve frowned, lifting the lid on the pseudo-gift she'd left. Why was his clock ticking and who was the "her"?

Inside there was an actual clock, counting down with 10 seconds left on the screen and it took his brain a second to click that what he was holding was a bomb. Obviously, _this_ was his ticking clock.

"I have a bomb!" He yelled, dropping the device inside a dumpster before high tailing it out of the alley. He had about 5 seconds before it exploded in a spectacular display of bright orange flames and he dove forward, his shield saving him from the flames.

He panted from where he'd hit the floor and looked around, still finding the streets thankfully empty.

It hadn't been big enough to do damage but it was a message. Something big was coming. He couldn't help but think of Rory when he thought of the note. Did they know about the two of them? There was no way they could, unless –

" _Cap! Cap are you ok?"_ Natasha called down the line and he pressed his finger to his ear.

"I'm fine, Widow. This is getting weird." He muttered. He pulled out his phone and dialled Rory's number. It range for far too long and he called again and again when it rang out.

His heart was in his throat and he took a minute to get his head on straight. There was a beep in his ear.

" _Steve_? _Steve are you there_?" Peggy's voice came down the line and he frowned.

"Peg?" He asked. "These are closed comms how are you –"

" _Do you know where Aurora is?_ " The question left him feeling cold and he gripped his shield tightly.

"I'm hoping she's at the Tower? I can't get her on her cell…" He replied, glancing down at the crumpled paper in his hands.

 ** _Clock's ticking Captain, for you and her_.**

His breath came out in short bursts of panic and he steadied his hands on his waist.

" _She's not here. She went to look at something almost an hour ago and I went looking for her and,"_ Peggy cut herself off with a choked sob. " _I think he has her, Steve._ "

"What?" He growled, his stomach feeling tight. "Who?"

" _Her computer got a hit from facial recognition software… it looks like Zemo was… he was here in the city._ " The panic that flooded through Peggy's voice was palpable and Steve could hear Dugan in the background trying to calm her. He felt cold all over and he wasn't sure what to do next.

"I'll find her, Peg." Steve promised and he heard the line click off. "Their end game is to distract me." He spoke to his team as he readied himself to run. "They have Aurora."

" _We heard, Steve. We're heading back to the tower._ " Tony replied, the worry in his voice evident by the shortness of his words.

"I'm going to check my apartment –"

" _I'll come with you_ –"

"Go and help Tony, Nat. I'll be there soon. _"_ He ordered as he took off at a run. It took him almost 8 minutes to get to Brooklyn. That was 8 minutes too long in his book.

"Aurora?" He called out as he unlocked the door and threw himself inside.

His house was dark and quiet, completely untouched by anyone when he got there. He threw himself up the stairs three at a time and into his bedroom but that too was quiet. He couldn't even smell her perfume anymore because she hadn't been there for days.

They had her. Whoever this Madam Hydra was, she had her and she was doing it to get to him.

Steve pulled his phone out.

" _She's not there, is she_?" Peggy answered without saying hello.

"No." He said in a grim voice. "Peg, does Madam Hydra mean anything to you?"

" _No, I've never heard of her… Why? Why what's going on, Steve?"_

Steve grit his teeth and headed for the door.

"I'll explain when I get back to the tower, what's going on over there right now?" He asked as he jogged down the stairs.

" _Tony is working on why Jarvis didn't stop Zemo entering the tower. Tim and Clint are reviewing cameras… I feel so useless. She wouldn't have gone without a fight, Steve."_

"I know Peg. I'm on my way. Have Natasha search for whoever this Madam Hydra is." He stalked toward the door, ready to leave. The smell of spun sugar met his nose and he stopped in his tracks. "I'll be back soon, Peg." He muttered, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end.

He moved into his living room slowly, flicking on the light.

"Hello, Steve." The woman on the couch said in a light voice. He could only see her lips, which were a deep shade of emerald green and they matched the hair obscuring the rest of her face. The tickle of familiarity ate at his brain. Who was this woman? Why did he feel like he knew her?

"Who the hell are you?" He demanded, stepping into the room and readying himself for a fight.

She tilted her head, her hair falling away from her face.

"Really, Steve, you break my heart." Her low and throaty voice hit a nerve and his eyes widened as a wave of silky, sweet perfume washed over him.

"Doctor Holstein?" He queried, confusion evident in his voice.

"Not exactly." She shook her head, rising to her feet in one fluid movement.

She looked different now, dangerous as her yellow eyes met his. Her form-fitting stealth suit was an iridescent green that reminded him of a snakes skin and it moved in the same way. _She_ moved in the same way as a snake now that he looked closer. She seemed to slither toward him, silky smooth and dangerous.

"My name is Madam Hydra. I lead the American faction of our organization."

"So you're the leak in SHIELD?" Steve asked, his fingers itching to reach for his shield or gun. He decided not to move, instead watched her to see what she did.

"They made it much too easy." She laughed, rolling her shoulders. "We heard you were awake and I applied for the job the next day. It's amazing what you people believe." Her yellow eyes flashed and a smirk pulled on her green lips.

"You're how you knew where we would be and what we were doing. You're the reason we were always one step behind." Steve spoke, watching as she stepped toward him.

She moved gracefully, her height making her appear to almost slither. She smiled, her lips pulling wide over white teeth.

"I knew it would drive you crazy. You see Steve, the best way to destroy something is to exploit their weaknesses and boy, do you have some huge ones." She smiled widely, her lips pulling unnaturally high along her cheeks. He could see her teeth were pointed and dripping with a thick, syrupy substance that he didn't want to test for himself. She was dangerous and every fibre of his being was screaming at him to run.

"I don't have any weaknesses." He grunted, his hands moving to the gun strapped to his thigh.

She laughed again, holding up her hands. Her nails were long and green talons that glinted in the light and he suppressed a shiver.

"Oh you really do, Steve. You don't like hurting people, you hate not being in control and you care too much, too quickly. We know why you were chosen for the Super Soldier Program," She leaned forward from where she stood and in an exaggerated whisper she said "It's because you're a good person… and that's your biggest weakness."

Her words stung Steve and he struggled to remain level headed. He'd trusted this woman with his thoughts and his feelings. Trusted her to help him while he struggled to adapt to this new world.

And it had all been a lie.

"That isn't a weakness, it's a strength." He grunted, his fingers tightening around the butt of his gun.

He knew arguing was pointless. They _were_ his weaknesses. His friends, being out of time, his nature… they were all weaknesses and now Aurora was being exploited for it.

"I don't know how I survived listening to you deliberate and stress over the tiniest things. _How does this work, why do I feel this, do they like me_ … ugh, boring." Madam Hydra rolled her eyes and made a choking motion with her hands at her throat. "But it wasn't the things you said in the sessions that gave me what I needed to bring you down we needed to bring you down – it was what you were doing outside of them. Or should I say, _who_." She laughed and Steve's heart stopped.

"How did you –"

"Oh you weren't as subtle as you thought, not when you were being watched all the time. I had access to Stark Tower cameras. I had access to the cameras set up inside your apartment." She smiled as his eyes widened. He hadn't known about the cameras inside his apartment and he wondered if she'd put them there. "I must say, you fall in love very easily, Steve and now we're going to destroy her and make you watch. It'll make you complacent and then it will break you so you're never a problem for us again."

Never in his life had he been more scared. Not even his accident had scared him as much as he was right now.

"What have you done with her?" Steve yelled and dove for her, forgetting the gun and the shield on his back in favor of his brute strength.

He never wanted to hurt a woman but this one was playing with him. She was exploiting everything he'd ever told her and he couldn't take it.

She laughed and ducked out of his way. The two parried for a moment, Steve threw punches but she blocked them easily. Steve was fast but the Madam was faster, like a cut snake, and he could see her eyes flashing in the most reptilian way.

He gasped as she spun away from him, her nails catching him in the side. The skin burned immediately as she cut through his suit and he clasped a hand to his side. He pulled it away and found green slime mixed with blood.

"Watch out, I'm poison." She laughed, dancing away from him. "We've been working on something that will get past your serum, Steve. It's been difficult but Zemo is a fine scientist –"

Zemo. She was working with Zemo. It made sense. It benefitted them both; Zemo wanted Aurora and Aurora was a way to get to Steve. He felt panic creep up his throat and he swallowed it down fast, keeping his focus on the dangerous woman in front of him.

"I will _kill_ you if you hurt her." He breathed heavily, in through his nose and out through his mouth as pain radiated from the wound.

"Oh but you won't know where to find her if you kill me."

Steve stopped advancing and she stopped retreating. The living room was being destroyed but he didn't care.

"Where is she?"

"I'll never tell." She said in an irritating sing-song voice. Something in Steve snapped.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE?!" He roared, moving on fast feet to grab her and pin her against the wall, an arm over her throat. The pictures Aurora had hung rattled on their hooks, but still she smiled. She gasped erotically as he pressed down on her throat, letting out a small moan and a laugh.

"You'll never know if you kill me." She gasped again, choking to get air into her lungs.

Steve could hear himself breathing heavily and he so desperately wanted to crush the woman's throat but she had a point.

Right now she was the only one who knew where Aurora was so he eased off. Not completely, but enough that she could talk.

"You will tell me where she is right now." He demanded, his fist punching a hole in the wall beside her head.

Viper squirmed under him and her hands moved up his sides. He reached down to grab them with his free hand.

"He has her you know. That was our agreement after I found out who she was tailing as her mission." Viper spoke and Steve listened. "He's a psychotic man, but god does he have some brilliant methods." She explained. She was loving this, her expression nothing but pure glee and it made him sick. "He's going to finish his fathers work. He's going to bleed her dry and he's going to help Hydra make more of you." She sounded delighted as she played with his fingers while he held her down. She was quick and dexterous and he was not. The effects of the poison were wearing on him.

Steve panted, his throat seeming to close over. She wiggled a hand out from his and placed it against the side of his face.

"I tried to steer you away from her, Steve but you fought me." She said softly, almost sympathetically and Steve sneered. "It was almost like the harder I pushed the more you wanted her."

"You manipulated me." He spat.

"Bingo. You made it easy. Both of you did." She let out a sigh. "For two people who work in espionage, you guys weren't subtle after you started fucking like bunnies." She snickered and Steve sneered, baring his teeth at her.

Steve growled and abandoned her hands in favor of wrapping his fingers around her neck. He needed to hurt this woman, make her suffer for all the terrible images she was putting in his mind. His fingers tightened around her throat but still she laughed at him.

"Silly Captain. Don't you know that vipers are deadly?" Her words were a hoarse whisper and before he could decipher what she meant, her nails were plunging into his neck. His skin and veins burned as the poison flowed right into his veins.

He yelled out, throwing himself away from her but it was too late. The damage was done. He could feel the poison travelling up his arms, making them feel heavy and hot. His torso itched and he slumped forward, unable to hold himself up anymore.

He blinked as Madam Hydra stood over him, her face dimming as blackness clouded his vision.

" _Don't worry, Captain. You'll have front row tickets to the show, I promise."_

* * *

Everything was blurred and hazy as Aurora started to come to. Her body felt heavy and sore and she could feel something scraping over her feet.

Concrete she realized a second later as she caught glimpses of the ground. It was concrete and two people were dragging her along, holding her under the arms.

"Put her in the chair." A voice commanded and then she was dropped, her neck snapping back painfully as she was unable to hold her head up. She let out a gargling groan, the only noise she could make due to the scrap of fabric tied tightly between her teeth. Her tongue rolled against it, making her want to vomit as she stared at the dirty, white ceiling.

How did she get here? She'd been having such a lovely time at the charity benefit Stark had thrown, especially once she and Steve had made up. They'd kissed and they'd danced and then… He'd been called away. Avengers Assemble, she remembered Tony saying that… and then her phone had buzzed and she'd gotten a hit on the scans she was running and then –

She let out a strangled scream as she sat upright in her chair, her teeth biting hard on the gag. Adrenalin rushed through her veins and she struggled against the hands cuffing her to the sides of the chair. The metal clanged and rattled as she pulled but it was too late, she was stuck.

"Shhh, my dear. Everything is going to be alright." Zemo's said, his breath tickling her ear as he leant down to her side. She snarled like a caged tiger, straining against the cuffs toward him. She wanted to kill him, to hurt him in some way but he merely laughed at her attempts.

"Your serum metabolizes sedatives much faster than I anticipated." He smiled. "This is twice I've drugged you and now you're fully awake." He sounded delighted and he clapped his hands. Rory snarled again, fighting with everything she had to break free. Zemo reached over and pulled the gag from between her teeth.

She spat at him, wetting her lips.

"Where the hell am I?" She said, glaring up at him with more intensity she ever thought possible. She couldn't tell much about the room she was in. It looked like an old hospital ward but it was bare and dirty. The floor was stained a horrible brown colour, almost as if blood had been spilled and then half heartedly cleaned up. The whole room was eerie but somehow familiar and it gave her chills.

"Somewhere very special to me." He nodded seriously, pushing some hair off her face. She jerked away from him, causing him to scowl. "It should be to you as well, Aurora. Don't you recognise where we are?" He nodded around the tiny room.

"Nothing about this is special to me." She sneered, her lip curling. Zemo knelt down beside her, the scar on his face twisting as he smiled. He leant in close.

"Uh ah Aurora, think please. We're in an abandoned hospital, the middle of Massachusetts." He added and she whipped her head up in surprise.

"Massachusetts?" She questioned. That was honestly a surprise. She figured she was in Germany or some far away place where her friends would never find her. There was hope now that they could find her before she died.

"Danvers to be exact." He nodded and watched her with bright, expectant eyes.

Aurora frowned. Danvers was where her parents had died… in a hostpital… very much like this one.

Her eyes went to the bloodstains on the floor and the memory hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Oh god, no." She gasped, her vision doubling again. She closed her eyes, the memory playing out behind her eyelids.

They'd been dragged to this room. Her mother hadn't let her go, clutching so tightly to her that it had hurt. She remembered telling her mother to let her go but her mother had begged her not to watch as she'd pushed Aurora behind her legs. Then The Bad Man had stabbed her and she'd fallen to the floor. Aurora remembered screaming from fear and anger, watching her mother bleed out and die while listening to The Bad Man laugh.

That laugh had haunted her for the next 20 years.

"You remember, don't you?" Zemo sounded delighted and pushed his head closer to her. Aurora raised her eyes to him and she could see every single fleck in his ice blue eyes. "She was no use to me but I had a lot of fun killing her. You screamed for hours and hours –"

Aurora lunged forward, her forehead slamming into Zemo nose hard enough to make it crack. Blood spurted out a moment later and he roared in pain. She felt a surge of triumph, watching his blood drip to the floor.

That was replaced with fear a second later as he pulled out a gun and fired a shot into her shoulder. She screamed out in pain, her world spinning as her ears rang sharply.

"Come now, it's not a vital shot." Zemo crooned with a chuckle. "Just enough to make you compliant."

Rory's eyes snapped open and she straightened, squaring off to face him. She kept her face neutral despite the pain. She couldn't let him see her in pain. It was what he wanted.

"I will never be compliant." She shook her head defiantly, her eyes flashing. Tears prickled her eyes but she swallowed it down.

The gun rose again, levelling with her head. "You will be." His voice was soft, terrifyingly soft, as he spoke. "Because as much as I want to spill your blood and get good and messy in it while you watch me, I will put a bullet between your eyes if you don't behave."

She swallowed hard. She wanted to fight him, to fight him until she died; but she needed to live. She needed to live so she looked down at her shoulder, watching the blood stain the white shirt she'd been placed in. She wondered vaguely when they'd changed her clothes.

"I guess this is where we will start the pain threshold tests." He smirked, taking out a recorder. "This is Helmut Zemo with Subject 2013. Initial pain threshold test, one bullet to the left shoulder. Cried out but is dealing with pain now." He clicked the button off and reached for her shoulder. He pressed his finger to it and she sucked in a deep breath. "Light pressure applied." He narrated. "No change." He pushed harder and she grit her teeth so hard she thought they might crack. "Very good Aurora. You are a strong person."

His hand slipped into the collar of her shirt and she felt his finger push into the wound. She screamed, the noise ripping from her throat before she could stop it. It sounded inhuman, too loud and too wild to have come from her but her throbbing throat told her it had. His hand removed quickly.

"Pain threshold high. Must push to see when her point of passing out is." He spoke into his recorder, turning from her and Aurora's head dropped forward. Pain coursed through her, making her vision hazy but she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of passing out. She could do this. She had to do this if she wanted to get out of this alive.

* * *

Steve was missing. The team had realized the Captain was gone when he hadn't returned after an hour and couldn't be reached via his cell. Natasha and Clint had gone to his house to investigate and had found the home in disarray. Peggy stood and watched for the hundredth time the moment when her friend had been taken from his apartment, her stomach churning that he was now missing too.

Behind her the team had broken off into small groups around Tony's penthouse as they worked to figure out the entire mess.

Tony and Bruce were fixing Jarvis, who had been bugged with an encrypted chip that made him run normally but with selective overrides that meant security protocols were overridden.

Clint and Natasha were researching Madam Hydra in the dozens upon dozens of archives that SHIELD had. Jessica was helping where she could. Apparently she knew the woman well, having been trained under her before she'd escaped.

Arthur and Dugan were sifting through all of Aurora's research to see if they could work out any possible places Zemo would go to finish whatever it was he had started.

"The chip looks like it's been in here the whole time, which is why Rory's back-hacking didn't work." Tony scowled, throwing the chip on the table. "I want SHIELD out of here, immediately." He pointed at Fury, his eyes blazing with anger that his precious building had been compromised. "This would never have happened if you hadn't brought SHIELD into my building."

"How do you know Hydra didn't use the invasion as a distraction and it was just coincidence we came here?" Fury countered coolly. "We don't even know if it's Hydra who's taken them or if it's just Zemo on his own."

"Oh please, Nick. They wouldn't have been able to get Steve without some major muscle." Dugan scoffed, rolling his eyes. "It's Hydra and their head honcho has been in your midst the entire time. That girl said herself that Zemo is a high roller as well." He cast his eyes on Jessica, who shrank under his gaze. "Maybe _she's_ working for them too."

"No, no I'm not I'm –" She started to argue her hands rising in defense.

"She's not Hydra, she's not even SHIELD for gods sake!" Natasha rolled her eyes at her former team leader. "If you're going to blame her you could throw fingers my way too –"

"Getting off topic, Steve has been –"

"That is not the point, the point is –"

"– taken and we should probably –"

"– that it just seems very fishy that _she_ comes along –"

" – get back to finding them!"

" – and knows everything about

The uproar was immediate, every single person in the room wanting to voice their panic as opinions. Their leader was gone and a good friend was in the hands of a psychopath. They were running out of time but didn't know where to start.

Peggy wanted to cry but instead she turned away from the image of her granddaughter being taken and turned to face the fray.

"THAT IS _ENOUGH_!" Her strong voice cut over the arguing team, silencing them immediately. "Is this how this team runs?" She looked from one Avenger to another, glared them all down. "You argue and natter and waste time? My granddaughter is _missing_ and that bastard has her so if you will all focus and get back to finding them, it would be much appreciated." She leant forward on her hands and her head hung between her shoulders.

She felt too old for this. Too old to be running a mission, too old to be contemplating going on one, too old to be worrying if her family was going to die. She was tired and weary and it was all because of that man. That awful man who had ripped her heart out once and was about to do it again. Dugan stepped behind his wife and placed a hand on her shoulder. She straightened, leaning into him and bringing her hand up to grip his. "We have to stick together, all of you. Aurora is a friend and Steve is your Captain." She said in a soft voice, watching as they all nodded in agreement. "It will do you well to remember that."

"I don't understand why they've taken both of them." Clint spoke up after a moment of silence. "Aurora I get because it's an old family matter but Madam Hydra posing as SHIELD Psychiatrist to get to Steve? I don't get it."

"Hydra's number one enemy has always been Steve." Peggy said. "What better way to bring him down than to learn his deepest secrets and then exploit them?" As she said it, she caught Natasha's eye and the Widow raised her eyebrows. Peggy's stomach dropped. None of the others knew their secret and she debated telling them.

"So why both of them at the same time?" Dugan asked, scratching his head. She squeezed her husbands' hand.

"They probably struck a deal." Clint said, shrugging a shoulder. "Zemo wants Aurora and Hydra wants Steve. Steve and Aurora are close. If they take them together and use Rory against Steve, they can kill two birds with one stone. It's what I would do, tactically, anyway." He folded his arms, looking stone-faced and furious.

Peggy winced at his choice of words.

"No one will be killed tonight." She said in a steely voice. "We need to figure out how to find them."

"Steve's suit." Tony said suddenly, jumping up as if he'd been electrified. "Steve's still in his suit."

He scooted his chair across the room and booted up another computer.

"Wanna tell us when you're doing Stark?" Clint called out to him.

Tony didn't look up as his fingers flew over the keys.

"After we almost lost Capsicle again in the ice a few months back I figured it might be a good idea to fit location devices in all your suits."

"You did what?" Natasha sounded more impressed than shocked, letting the slight invasion of privacy slide because it was actually a good idea for the team.

"Yeah I know, I probably should have asked but honestly I didn't think I'd ever have to boot one up so soon. I mean, the program isn't even finished yet!" Tony glanced at her, looking apologetic for once.

"There's a program?"

"Encrypted so no one could hack it and find us."

"Like no one could hack Jarvis?" Arthur snorted.

Tony ignored the jab and continued clicking his fingers over the keyboard, merely saying "No one actually knows it exists yet, this laptop isn't apart of the mainframe. I didn't want SHIELD to get their hands on it." He threw a look to Nick, who folded his arms.

"How long will it take if the program isn't finished?" Dugan asked, his hand finding Peggy's and holding it tightly.

"Hopefully no longer than an hour." Tony answered honestly, dismay evident in his tone.

"We might not have an hour, Anthony." Dugan growled, making Tony jump. He turned and looked at his Aunt and Uncle, the two people who'd stepped up as his second parents more times than he could count. He needed to do this for them. They couldn't lose Aurora and neither could he. None of them could.

"I get that, Uncle Tim. Which is why I need to concentrate."

Peggy placed a hand on her husbands shoulder. "It's a start, darling." She murmured, pulling herself into him. She felt like she was falling apart. Steve and Aurora were both gone and Aurora was being used as pawn in a game meant to break Steve.

Her stomach felt sick at the thought and she prayed with everything she had that the outcome of this wouldn't be the same as last time. She'd be damned if she let it happen again.

* * *

Steve awoke to someone slapping him sharply across the cheek, each slap harder than the last. It left a stinging fire that burned deep and he opened his eyes to find sparkling yellow ones staring back at him.

"You're awake." Madam Hydra smiled widely, her fangs flashing in the bright light as their eyes met. He jerked his head around sharply, his neck cracking in several places.

He jerked to reach for The Madam but stopped short when he found his hands shackled tightly to the metal table he was seated at. He looked at them in confusion, testing his strength against the bonds to no avail. Somehow they were stronger than he was.

"Nuh uh, you're not going anywhere. Those are adamantium clasps. Even with your super strength you can't break free." She smiled and ran her tongue over her teeth. Her green eyes dragged over every inch of him as if she were hungry and didn't know where to start first. She was enjoying this, he realised after a minute of staring at her glee-filled face and he sneered at her.

"Where the hell am I?" He demanded, finding his feet also locked tightly to the legs of the chair he was in.

"We're still in America, if that's what you're asking." She replied, straightening up and smoothing her lab coat. "We're about to have front row seats to a great show, Captain. You have front row seats to the start of a New Hydra." She moved out of his line of sight and he realized they were in an Operating Theater. It was old and dirty so he guessed they weren't in a functioning hospital but the instruments on the small table in the middle of the room were shiny and new.

He looked around, his eyes trying to find any clue as to where they were but other than a plain tiled floor that was weathered and dirty, and a ceiling that was falling apart, he had nothing more to go on.

The O.R. doors across from them opened and a gurney pushed through. He recognized the 'Doctor' as Zemo and he snarled.

"Captain, you're just in time!" The German said happily, a wide smile on his face. The person on the gurney struggled and lifted their head.

"Steve?" She gasped and he recognized her, a blinding panic flashing through him like wildfire. Aurora. They had her and they were going to hurt her while he watched helplessly.

"Aurora?" The name left his lips before he could stop it and he strained against the cuffs. " _Aurora_?! Don't you hurt her you son of a bitch. I swear to god I will rip your head from your neck. I'll fucking _KILL_ you –" Madam slapped him hard, sending his head flying to the side.

"That's enough of that." She hissed and he grit his teeth. "The Doctor needs to concentrate!"

Zemo just laughed and there was a squeak as the breaks were applied to the gurney.

"Move him closer, Viper. He needs to see this. He can't miss a second." Zemo instructed and then the table and chair Steve was sitting at rolled forward, Madam Hydra pushing him from behind.

He took in the scene before him, his stomach a tight ball of nerves and panic. She was laid out on the table as if ready for surgery. A drip hung on her right side, a clear liquid funnelling something into her veins. She looked like she'd been beaten; her left eye half swollen shut and a spectacular array of bruises down her jaw. She was dressed in a medical smock that had fallen open to her sides to reveal her torso and chest, which was also showed bruises on her ribs and legs. He was going to kill the person responsible for his.

"What are you going to do to her?" He asked softly, trying to contain his panic so that it didn't affect her. She was lying quietly on the table, her head twisted so she could see him but she wasn't saying a word. He didn't know why, maybe she couldn't because she was drugged, or maybe they'd been beating her for hours and she'd lost the will to fight.

He didn't know what was harder to think about.

"You'll see." Madam Hydra smiled, reaching out to caress the side of the face she'd just slapped. He jerked away from her, testing his restraints again but still they didn't budge.

Rory's scream ripped through the room, making Steve jumped out of his skin. He struggled to see around Viper but when he did he felt sick. He had her thumb in a twisted piece of metal and was tightening the screw until finally there was a sickening crunch as it went through the nail and bone and flesh.

"Very good!" Zemo sounded delighted and he picked up a recorder. "Pain tolerance for Subject: A. Dugan is still quite high despite all other tests."

"What other tests?!" Steve demanded, the skin on his wrists breaking and bleeding with the exertion from trying to break them. At this rate he was more likely to take his hand off than break the chains.

"The other pain tolerance tests we've run Aurora through, of course." Zemo glanced at him. "I needed to see how far I could push her before she passes out. It's crucial to this procedure –"

"What the hell kind of procedure are you attempting here, you psychopath?!" Steve couldn't help it. He needed to distract Zemo.

"Not attempting, _doing._ " Zemo said with a small sigh. "I've never had a subject able to stay awake before. It's fascinating what even a small amount of serum can do for a person."

Steve met Aurora's eyes and found them empty. After her initial scream she'd said nothing more, just continued to stare at him even though the angle her head was at had to be uncomfortable.

"What are you going to do, Zemo?" Steve's voice was low and his entire body shook with rage. If there was one thing he was going to do, it was kill that bastard. Never had he felt such a need to rip someone limb from limb before but now it coursed through his veins and kept him focused on getting them out of there.

"Vivisection. Live _autopsy_." Zemo replied with a delighted grin. Steve's teeth crunched together. He wanted to be sick. He couldn't watch this.

It dawned on him quickly that this was the plan: Zemo got to experiment on Aurora, and Madam Hydra – Viper – got to break Steve. He would have to watch her be cut open and then eventually die. The strongest mind couldn't come back from that. It would make him weak and compliant and then they would kill him easily because he would welcome death.

It was an ingenious plan, a horrible but effective way to get what they both wanted.

"I can see by the look on your face that you've pieced together our little agreement," Viper gestured between herself and Zemo. "You're not as dumb as you look, Steve." She said softly, touching his face again.

"Just kill me, please. Leave her out of it and kill me." He lifted his head and looked at Zemo. "Use my blood. Her blood is worthless compared to mine –"

"This is more of a personal matter, Steve." Zemo gestured between himself and Aurora. "Rest assured I will have access to your blood after Viper has had her fun." Zemo smiled, picking up his voice recorder. "Right, where was I?" He said absently. "Subject 2013: Aurora Dugan. Daughter of Subject 2011, Timothy Dugan who's autopsy was performed in 1991. Five feet, seven inches. 156 pounds. Red hair –"

"Hold on, Aurora." Steve said in a soft voice, hoping to sooth the poor creature on the table in front of him. She blinked slowly, her eyes glassy but still holding onto his. "We'll get out of this." He promised her, never meaning anything more in his life.

* * *

"I've got something!"

Tony's voice echoed through the penthouse suit of Stark Tower as he threw himself out of the elevator. He'd kicked everyone out of the lab within 5 minutes if starting to work on the program because he'd needed absolute silence (and some ACDC to concentrate) and they'd all come upstairs to pace around the private floors.

He skidded on the marble and found everyone crowding around Rory's research to see if there were any leads in that that could help them.

"Where are they?"

"Danvers, Massachusetts." Tony replied, clicking a button and pointing it at the nearest Stark Screen.

A map came into view, a red pin dropped right in the center and he pressed another button to make it zoom in.

"There's an old –"

"The hospital." Dugan's voice was horse but it was Peggy's choked sob that made everyone turn and look. "He's taken her to the abandoned Danvers State Hospital."

"Something special about that place?" Arthur asked, rubbing his eyes. None of them had slept, the sun having come up a few hours earlier but none were quitting. They needed to bring their friends back before they slept.

"That's where he took my son and that's where I watched him die." Dugan's words hung heavy in the air and everyone tensed up. "This is very personal."

There was a silence that seemed to hang heavy in the air before Peggy squared her shoulders.

"Tony, pull up the blue prints for that hospital please. You can't go in there blind. I want three teams to go in; Avengers, Strike, and an evac with medical personnel." She pushed her hair from her eyes, her jaw set in determination as she gave the orders to the people in front of her. "Get in contact with Hill and get her to set that up." She ordered Fury, who nodded and picked up his phone with no argument.

Dugan said nothing as he watched Peggy give the orders and he didn't blink an eye when she strode from the room behind the Avengers. Peggy Carter had been born for the field and now she was protecting one of her own there was no taking her away from it.

"Are you sure she should be going in?" Tony asked as they boarded the quinjet on the roof of Stark Tower. "This is a little personal, her judgment is clouded…"

"Just try and stop her, son." He patted Tony's shoulder lightly. "Your Aunt has only once backed down from the field and that's because you kids were her world. This is too personal for her not to be there."

Tony nodded and adjusted the Ironman Bracelets on his wrists, settling in for the short flight to the big fight. He just hoped they got there on time.

* * *

Author's Note: So, like I said... heartbreaking. Next chapter out soon. I'm tweaking it a little. Also, to the anon who apologised over and over I appreciate the kind words but unless you go by the handle 'sargentslaughter' it's not you ok? Don't stress! if you're on anon and genuinely writing nice things, constructive things, it will be posted. Anything else will be deleted.

Anyway, enjoy! If you like it, tell me. Share it with people. Tell everyone. I'm proud of my work. It's not the greatest but this is my practice and every single person reading this means the world to me.

Playlist:

Unstoppable - E.S. Posthumus

Psycho Killer - Talking Heads

Pompeii - E.S. Posthumus

Tear You Apart - She Wants Revenge


	30. Knives and Agony

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 30: Knives and Agony

* * *

Rory was hurting. Every fiber of her being was telling her to pass out, to let go, and to just make the pain go away. Her mind was sluggish and her limbs were heavy from the light sedative he'd given her, but she'd felt everything that had been done.

Zemo had tortured her for hours. She knew because he kept telling her the time every time he made another 'note' about her progress. He'd hooked her ribs up to a shock machine and had increased the current until she'd vomited. He'd beaten her until she'd screamed. He'd shattered her knee with a sledgehammer and he'd shot her again just to hear her scream some more. He'd pushed her to the exact limit of her pain and yet none of that hurt as much as looking into Steve's eyes while he helplessly watched on as Zemo prepared her semi naked body for an autopsy.

Her heart was breaking as their eyes locked. There was so much pain and anguish on his features. He was struggling as hard as he could against the shackles around his wrist but she knew that adamantium was about the only thing in the world he wouldn't be able to break out of. She could see the tendons in his neck pulse and the vein in his head stand out but the table only moved a fraction. It wasn't enough.

"Please, please let him go." She whispered to Zemo, unable to take it anymore.

"Hmm? What was that?" He asked, pausing his movements and leaning down to hear her.

"Please let him go. I'll do anything you want. Just let him go." She begged, her voice cracking. Tears blurred her vision as Zemo laughed.

"Now Aurora, you know I can't do that." He patted her cheek almost gently. "Viper needs to break him."

Her eyes flickered to Erica Holstein sitting on the table beside Steve. She was playing with his hair and Steve had long since stopped trying to evade her hands. Rory had known something was off about that woman from day one and she wished she'd followed her gut.

She heard Steve take a deep breath.

"Aurora." He called to her and her eyes met his again. "Aurora, look at me and keep looking at me, ok?" The terror on his face sent a chill up her spine and she turned her head as Zemo brushed a hand from her collarbone to her belly, tracing a Y shape on her skin.

The glint of the scalpel in his hand sent a panic flooring through her and she struggled as hard she could. Her limbs were heavy and warm and fear sent her brain into a meltdown. He was literally going to cut her open and take her insides out while she was still alive. She wished she would die right now. She wished she could just shut down and turn off. She wished –

His hand pressed down on her sternum, holding her still.

"Stop moving. My cuts have to be precise!" His eyes flashed and his fingers dug in but she barely heard him over the ringing in her ears.

"Please, please no don't do this." She begged him, her voice a tone away from a scream. She sobbed, hot tears burning her eyes. "Please don't do this to me."

"Zemo, I swear to fucking god I will kill you. I promise you I will kill you and I will make you suffer." A sharp sound met her ears and she turned to see Holstein slapping Steve. She'd never hated someone so much in her entire life and she vowed she would take that woman down if it were the last thing she ever did.

"Steve." Rory called out to him, watching as his eyes sprang open and met hers.

"You're going to be ok, sweetheart. I promise you. You're going to be –"

She cried out as the scalpel touched her skin at her collarbone. Steve's image blurred as tears stung her eyes. She barely felt it drag across her skin, all the way to the center of her chest, as everything went numb, but she did feel a heat spread down under her arm.

"Aurora, I love –"

The echoes of gunfire cut off her words and everyone in the room froze. Zemo let out a shaky and impatient breath.

"Viper, go and see what's going on." Zemo ordered, taking his hand away from Aurora, halfway through his second cut down the other side of her chest.

The click of heels signalled Holstein had left the room and Rory held her breath. Her ears rang and she tried to slow her heart down. Panicking wouldn't help her now. Her friends were here and they were coming to their rescue. She would live and so would Steve.

There were a few beats where all they could hear was gunfire and the faint sound of Iron Man's repulsors blasting. Her eyes met Steve's again and she found him straining on his cuffs. He could do it. She knew he could. She'd never seen him look so determined in his entire life but she held his gaze, silently pushing him to save them both.

Her heart leapt as a loud groan echoed around the room and the table buckled under the stress of his movements.

Zemo spun on his heel, horror flashing through his eyes as Steve rose to his full height, a towering 6'4 structure of rage. She could see it in his eyes, radiating through his entire body as he shook off the loose bits of table still attached to the shackles. The clamps were still around his wrists but he was free and he was out for blood.

"Did you forget your feet, Captain?" Zemo asked, his voice shaking and the scalpel going to Rory's neck quickly. She cried out, her eyes squeezing closed as the blade cut into her skin. She could feel it digging in. It was cold and sharp and so very painful. Her heart thudded loudly in her ears as his hand held her to the table. There was the sound of something shattering and Rory dared a look. The chair Steve had been attached to was broken by his feet, his restraints busted and on the ground beside him.

"I didn't forget," He shook his head, taking a step forward. He looked feral, half human and deadly as he met her gaze. He was hers and she was saved, there was nothing stopping the relief bubbling up her throat as it escaped with a small sound, something akin to a laugh. "Now I'm going to kill you." He went to take another step and Zemo wrenched her upright, the blade digging further into her skin. If he flicked his wrist, her blood would spill and she would die.

"Steve, no!" She choked out, stopping him in his tracks.

Steve stared for a few moments, trying to work out what she was trying to tell him... and then he saw it. The scalpel was pressed into her throat hard enough that a rivulet of blood was already pooling on her pale skin. It ran down her chest and mixed with the steady stream of blood that was almost pouring out of the deep slice over her chest. There was so much blood, her face was so pale against the ruby red of it all.

"Take one more step Captain and I will slash her throat." Zemo threatened in a low voice.

"I swear to god I am going to rip your head from your body." Steve's voice was a low growl as he bared his teeth. Zemo smiled.

"Not before I rip hers off first."

Time seemed to move in slow motion. One moment Steve was on his feet weighing up his options, the next he was vaulting over the bed and knocking Zemo to the ground.

His fingers gripped around the man's skull for few moments and then the tension released. The head pulled from the shoulders with a sickening pop, like an apple being pulled from tar. Steve's breath hissed through his teeth and his blood flooded his ears as he dropped the head in triumphant disgust.

Zemo was dead. He'd done it. He'd ended their horror and he'd saved his girl. He smiled, his ears ringing in relief.

"It's over." He breathed. A choked gargle came from behind him and he turned quickly to look at his love.

"Aurora it's – " His words were cut off when he saw the mess she was in. Zemo's mark had still been made and blood spurted from the slash across her pale throat. It dripping to the floor with splashes so loud they echoed in his mind. She convulsed and he reached for her.

"God no." He moaned, ripping her hands and arms free from their restraints before his hands went to her neck. "Please god, no."

The blood was hot between his fingers, coating him in a slick mess that he knew he'd never forget the feeling of. There was so much blood, he didn't know where to hold. Her chest was falling apart but her neck, god her _neck_ –

He watched as her face turned an ashy grey. Her fingers came up and gripped his suit, her eyes wide with panic. She choked again as she tried to talk and Steve wrapped his hands around the wound, trying desperately to close it.

"Please don't. You can't leave me. You can't…"

He ducked his head, his lips pressing against her forehead. He grabbed a cloth from the bed and placed it over her wound, using a piece of the restraint to secure it into place.

He scooped her into his arms and walked from the room on shaking legs, hoping to find his team somewhere nearby.

The sun was bright in his eyes as he made his way outside as his team was about to storm through the doors.

"She's dead. I tried but I couldn't –" Was the last thing he remembered saying as he dropped to his knees. Thor yelled for medical, The Widow took Aurora from his arms and Ironman and Hawkeye had to pull him away.

He didn't say a word, shock and grief flooding through his veins enough to make time seem like it wasn't moving at all.

"Steve… Cap… Cap! She's alive."

The statement didn't register in his mind at first. He could see Arthur's mouth moving and he heard the words but they didn't make sense.

"What?" He muttered, blinking as he realised she was no longer in his arms. His hands and suit were covered in blood and he couldn't bear to look at them.

"The med team revived her and they're transferring her to the local hospital. Tony called ahead. C'mon mate, we've got to move." Arthur shook his shoulders lightly and Steve blinked as the words suddenly made sense.

"Alive?"

"Yes, alive. C'mon you idiot." Arthur turned away from him, jogging toward a dark SUV. Steve followed quickly and the two followed the convoy of stolen Hydra vehicles toward the hospital. "What happened?" Arthur asked after a few silent minutes.

"I don't want to talk about it." Steve muttered, shaking his head. His eyes were trained on the SUV in front of them, the one that held a not-dead Aurora.

"She was in a bad way."

"Yeah, and Zemo's now in worse." Steve growled darkly, the image of the man's head in his hands flashing across his mind.

"You saved her."

"I got her throat slashed, is what I did." Steve shook his head, his mouth snapping shut as guilt overwhelmed him. "I should have just stood still and negotiated, I should have –"

"There's no negotiating with a psychopath, Rogers. Don't blame yourself." The Brit's hand was heavy on his shoulder but it was a much-needed comfort.

The ride to the hospital seemed to take forever and by the time he got out of the car she was already whisked away to surgery.

"Steve, you need to be seen by a doctor." Natasha steadied him with a hand on his cheek.

" _No_ , I need to see her." He shook his head firmly, not wanting to meet her gaze. He had to know that she was alive. He had to see for himself that she was breathing, that she hadn't died.

"The doctors need to focus and they don't need _you_ in the way." Natasha's voice was warm but firm and he finally met her gaze. "Please come and see a doctor, just to get you checked out."

He relented finally, letting her slip her small hand in his and lead him to a private examination room where an unknown SHIELD doctor ran through a battery of small tests to make sure he was ok.

When he was given the all clear he was given a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt to change into. He held them and stood, wanting to see Aurora more than anything.

"Told you I was fine." He muttered to Natasha, stepping toward the door.

"I needed to make sure." She replied curtly, stepping in front of the handle a fraction before he could reach it. "Clean up before you go back out there. Peggy and Dugan are here. They don't need to see you covered in –" For the first time since Steve had met the Widow, he heard her voice catch with genuinely raw emotion. "They don't need to see that." She finished as she looked away from him.

Steve nodded and started fiddling with the clips and zips that held his suit together. His fingers felt heavy and he struggled as he looked at the blood on his suit. Her blood. Oh god there was so much of her blood on him. How was she still alive after all that? His hands shook as his breath started coming out in short, sharp gasps. Natasha batted his hands away gently and helped him, so he could look away.

One they were done, he peeled the suit from his skin, turning away even though Natasha had turned to face the wall and he kicked it to the side. "Burn it." He muttered, never wanting to see the damn thing again.

He tied the drawstring of the sweats closed and then tapped her shoulder.

They exited together, Natasha signalling to Clint to get rid of the ruined suit, and she led Steve to the waiting area that had been cleared only for them.

"Steve." Peggy's anguished cry was enough to send him over the edge and as soon as she was in his arms he broke down, sinking to the floor and taking her with him.

They stayed like that for some time, Dugan coming to stand behind them with his hand on Steve's shoulder, before Peggy finally spoke.

"I'm told she's alive."

"So am I."

A shuddering sigh left Peggy's lips.

"You haven't seen her?"

"Not since –" _she was bleeding out in my arms._ The sentence went unfinished as they two climbed to their feet. Dugan was next to hold him close.

"You saved my little girl." He said gruffly, his bowler hat falling off backward.

"I was the reason she was there." Steve muttered. Dugan shook his head.

"She was there because of me. Because of SHIELD and Hydra and all this bullshit." Dugan told him seriously. "You can't blame yourself."

But he would. He would always blame himself for this.

"He's dead." He admitted to Dugan a little guiltily. "I know it was your kill but I couldn't –"

"I'm glad you did." Dugan waved him away and Steve was relieved. The monster was gone and the girl was half saved. He just had to wait and pray that the doctors could do the rest.

Hours past but all Steve could do was stare at his hands and wait until a doctor finally stepped out of the room Aurora was being kept in. He called for Peggy and Dugan when he did, but Steve stood up as well.

"We're after _Family Only_ at this stage." The doctor held up his hand, shaking his head bluntly. Steve cleared his throat, his last nerve breaking. He had to see her. He _needed_ to know how she was.

"He's family." Peggy told the doctor, who gave him a raised eyebrow look.

"He also got her out of there." Dugan agreed and placed a hand on Steve's shoulder.

The doctor nodded and then ran a hand through his pepper grey hair unwilling to fight them. He beckoned to them, getting the trio to follow him to a small office. He cleared his throat before he started to talk.

"We've done everything we can. She was quite badly hurt. Shattered kneecap, crushed thumb, broken ribs, numerous bruises, multiple lacerations; the one through her neck missed major veins and arteries thankfully and the two across her chest are mostly superficial. Deep, but superficial. We stitched them up but they will scar." Steve let out a sigh of relief when he heard that. Scars he could handle.

"So she'll recover?"

"We want to transport her to M.A. General Hospital in Boston where we'll have better facilities to utilize but yes, we're expecting her to make a full recovery." He nodded. Peggy let out a small cry of happiness, tears forming in her eyes. "We would like to keep her in an induced coma for the time being. She has had a lot of internal trauma and we unfortunately couldn't save the pregnancy so we would prefer to –"

" _Pregnancy_?" Peggy's voice was a sharp and as shocked as Steve felt. "What pregnancy?" She glanced at Steve but Steve's ears were ringing.

 _What pregnancy_? He hadn't known. How could he not have known she would have told him, surely she would have –

"You didn't know?" The doctor stuffed his hands in his coat pockets. He looked about as tired as Steve felt. "I'm very sorry to have to bring you this news. She was about 8 to 9 weeks along, so it isn't uncommon that she wouldn't even know yet, nor for her to miscarry in that first trimester. We estimate that with the stress of everything… her body had to compromise."

Steve's ears started ringing all over again.

Pregnancy.

Lost.

Lost baby.

His lost baby.

He wondered if she'd even known. Surely she would have said something to him. She definitely would have said something to Peggy. Maggie maybe? No, she would have said something to him for sure, if she'd known.

"I… I didn't know." He said dumbly, more to Peggy than to the doctor. "She didn't tell me. Why didn't she tell me? It was mine and she didn't –"

" _Yours_?" Dugan's voice was soft and confused.

"I don't think she knew either." Peggy confirmed what he thought. "She would have told me. She's been feeling ill for the last couple of days but I didn't even _think_ … She's so _careful_ …."

"What the _bloody hell do you mean 'yours'_ , Rogers?" Dugan's voice rose ever so slightly.

Steve and Peggy both cringed, glancing at each other. Of all the scenarios where Steve had imagined telling Dugan about Aurora, this was not one of them.

"We were going to tell you Tim –"

"I wanted to prepare you, darling and I –"

"- but we were only official at Tony's thing and then –"

CRUNCH.

Blood spurted from Steve's nose before he even had a chance to register what had even happened. He stumbled through backward into the doctor's office door landing in the corridor.

Dugan shaking his fist was a pretty good indicator he'd been hit and the man advanced again.

"YOU WERE SLEEPING WITH MY LITTLE GIRL? YOU'RE MY FRIEND. YOU'RE MY FRIEND AND 70 YEARS OLDER THAN HER YOU PIECE OF –"

"Tim no!" Peggy exclaimed as her husband went to take another swing at Steve.

Arthur and Tony, having heard Dugan yelling, grabbed onto his arm before he could land another blow.

"You were my friend and you did that to her. Were _doing_ that to her." Tim gasped, glaring daggers at Steve.

Peggy helped Steve to his feet and then guided him to a seat. She tilted his head back. "Breathe through your mouth… Thanks Natasha…" She took the paper towels from Natasha and gave them to Steve. "I'm so sorry."

"I deserved dit." Steve shook his head, pressing the towels to his face. He stared up at the ceiling as he listened to Dugan rant at him.

So it had come to this. He was going to lose his friend as well as his child _and_ possibly the woman he loved.

It was funny. He'd never thought seriously about what it would be like to have a child before, and he'd certainly never discussed it with Aurora. She'd assured him she was on birth control and that it wasn't possible. They hadn't needed to discuss it so early in their relationship.

He felt a little hollow inside even though it hadn't been on the cards. It was a curious feeling, like a perfect stranger dying and he mourning their loss.

He dimly heard Peggy telling Dugan, in a very sharp voice, to take it outside. He heard Tony's quick quip about Rory owing him $70 and Clint's muttered agreement that he owed her $120… but did it really count when she was the one sleeping with him?

He didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"We can't tell her." Peggy said in a soft voice sometime later when the room was silent and Steve realized it was just the two of them now. The door was closed, Peggy was leaning against the wall beside it, a pensive look on her face.

"What?" Steve asked, lifting his head. Peggy's lip was worried between her teeth.

"We can't tell her." Peggy repeated finally, her voice haggard and strained.

"Lie to her?" He asked, his brow furrowing deeply. He couldn't lie to her. It would kill her if she ever found out and this was too much for him to keep to himself.

"Not lie…" Peggy shook her head slowly. She crossed the room, sitting beside him on the uncomfortable, plastic seat. "But think about it, Steve. She's been taken, tortured, cut open, she almost died – Learning that she lost something so precious will be too much." Her voice caught in her throat and she lowered her head.

Steve reached for her, tucking her into his side.

"I can't keep this from her Peg –"

"No, I know. I know." She hushed him, clasping his hand in hers. "But for now, I need to know she's going to be ok. I need to know we're not going to lose her over this." A sob escaped her throat and Steve squeezed her. "I don't want to lose the happy, vibrant girl you brought back for us."

Steve murmured softly against her head, pressing his lips to her hair.

She was right, of course. Aurora was going to have a lot to deal with mentally and he was willing to bet that she wouldn't want to talk to a professional about it. Even though Holstein had been caught and taken in by The Avengers, he'd never trust another psychiatrist again.

Aurora wouldn't take any of what had happened lightly and then there was the recovery – if she didn't know about the pregnancy, what harm would keeping it from her cause? She had only been 9 weeks along, there shouldn't have been any attachment there... He tried hard to convince himself but even he felt a sadness seeping into his bones for what could have been.

He would tell her when she was ready to hear it, however long that took. He just wanted her to be ok. She would understand, eventually. She'd be as mad as hell about not knowing, but for now – while she recovered at least – she wouldn't know.

"I don't think we should keep it a secret for long." He nodded finally, his lip trembling as Peggy wiped her eyes. "She'll never forgive us if we keep this from her forever. If she finds out before we can tell her. – " He let out a huff, thinking about her rage.

"I know. We will tell her… but Steve, she's _alive_. That's all that matters right now and I don't want to add to her… to her…" _recovery_. It was going to be a long and painful road he knew.

"But her baby… _my_ baby – our –"

"There'll be other chances, I'm sure." Peggy smiled fondly. "She loves you too much to not want this to continue."

Steve let out a hollow laugh.

"Dugan might have something to say about that."

"Dugan will shut his trap if Aurora is happy." Peggy replied hotly. "I am sorry he punched you." She brought her hand up, turning his face so she could see the damage. A spectacular slice across the bridge of his nose and two black eyes were what remained but they would heal in a matter of hours. There was no harm done and he knew Dugan had needed to hit him. He'd come round with time.

"In all fairness, Peg, I would have done the same." He smiled wryly and gingerly touched his nose. It hurt like nothing else but it would heal. It always did. He'd lost count of the number of times it had been broken in his life. "When are they moving her?"

"They're prepping her now. There's a quinjet on the roof waiting for us."

Steve stood. "I want to be on it."

"I thought you would." Peggy nodded. "Dugan's opted to ride with Tony and Arthur in order to calm down." She smoothed her pants as she stood and beckoned Steve to follow.

"Opted or you're making him?" Steve asked in amusement.

"Column A, column B." Peggy answered offhandedly; a small wave of her hand telling Steve it had been a little more from column b

They took the elevator to the roof and then they waited for her to come.

Aurora was so pale when they wheeled her onto the helipad. Her skin was as white as the sheet that was pulled right up to her neck. It made the bruising and stitches stand out even more, and she looked like a fragile china doll.

But she was alive and that was all that mattered. He took her hand once they were settled in the jet and didn't let go until Boston.

* * *

Steve thought he was going crazy. She'd been asleep in that bed for so long now – 15 days, 4 hours and 23 minutes to be exact – and he was starting to think she would never wake up. He knew why they were keeping her under; her injuries were extensive and she had been clinically dead for almost 4 minutes before she was revived, but that didn't stop him from being impatient and frustrated and just down right anxious all the time.

Tony had pulled strings for a private room, which was large and comfortable and accommodated the steady stream of people – Family, friends and Avengers – that were in and out at all hours well. Steve had fixed himself into the chair by her side, moving only to use the bathroom that was connected to her room and sleep on the sofa when Peggy insisted.

Her family were there constantly, her brothers standing vigil either side of the bed swapping stories from when she was a child, and her sisters, Maggie and the in-laws, made sure she was immaculately groomed. Steve knew Rory would have hated the fuss but to see her hair brushed and her skin clean was beautiful in itself. It reminded him she was still alive and they were just waiting until she could be woken up.

Peggy stayed on the other side of her bed, keeping the family in check when they got too much for the room and Dugan stood silently by the door, only moving to the bedside when Steve wasn't there. They still hadn't spoke but Steve knew he would tackle that problem when Aurora woke up.

 _When_.

The doctors kept telling them it would be the next day, then the next and then the next. They were worried about how her internal injuries were healing and wanted to keep her in a coma for as long as possible. He was impatient and frustrated and it kept him awake at night.

"She's healing slowly but she's healing well." A doctor who had been flown in from New York addressed both Steve and The Dugans. Doctor Helen Cho was one of the best that SHIELD had to offer, and Tony and Fury both insisted she be here helping. "It helps that she has serum in her blood already. It's not a lot but it's better than nothing. She'd already weeks ahead in her recovery because of it."

Steve smiled, brushing some imaginary hair off Aurora's forehead. She was going to be ok. It was a slow process but she would heal.

"Would it help if she had more?" Dugan spoke up from the back of the room and Steve looked over at him. Did they have more? He'd assumed that Peggy and Dugan had stopped taking it because it was all gone.

"Well, yes. Of course." Doctor Cho nodded, looking at Dugan over the top of her glasses with bright eyes. "It would accelerate healing but at this stage we're no where near close enough to having anything close to what the Infinity Serum –"

"I told Howard to destroy it." Peggy said in a soft voice. There was something in her voice that made Steve turn and when he did he found her staring at her husband, eyes wide with surprise. Dugan was looking down at the hat in his hands, the brim curled in his fingers sheepishly, as if he was about to be scolded.

"You did, but we didn't." Dugan shook his head. He looked up at his wife. "What if we wanted to stay in the game when the kids were grown up, Peg? What if we wanted to come back? Howard kept it for science but I kept it for us. A safety net."

"You know I didn't want to come back." Peggy replied but there was no anger in her voice. "Where is it?"

"I kept it." He replied. Steve's heart leapt. "It's at home locked in a safe. SHIELD has no idea. Howard and I kept it completely off the record."

"Would it work for her?" Steve asked Doctor Cho, finally speaking up over Peggy and Dugan. Doctor Cho looked from the chart to Rory and then finally at Steve.

"If it's the same stuff that she got genetically it would definitely work." Cho replied with a nod and a smile.

"Peggy, please?" He turned to his friend, his hand clasped tightly around Aurora's limp one. "I can't stand her being out anymore. I know she's healing and I know she's not going to die but she needs all the help she can get."

Peggy didn't hesitate as she nodded.

"Go and get it, my love. This is your safety net." There were tears in her eyes as Dugan turned and hurried from the room. Peggy gave a laugh, wiping her face hastily with her hand. "She's going to hate looking 25 for the next 20years." Peg said softly. Steve chuckled, shaking his head and pressing his lips to her hair.

"I doubt that." He murmured against her soft skin. "Does this mean she'll be awake soon?" He asked, hearing his heart beating loudly in his ears.

"We'll see how the serum works, but it's possible." Doctor Cho replied, placing her chart back at the end of the bed before she left the room.

As she exited, Natasha poked her head in the door.

"Knock, knock?" She said softly and Steve smiled at his friend. "The team's here. Just checking in." She gestured behind her.

"Come in." Peggy beckoned to them, standing up. "I'm in need of a strong cup of tea and some food, so I'll leave you be." She greeted each member of the Avengers warmly before she disappeared through the door.

The five gathered around the end of the bed, no one saying a word.

"I'm guessing that there's been good news?" Bruce asked finally, taking Aurora's chart to look at.

Steve sat up straight, giving a nod.

"Dugan happens to have a small amount of his serum left. Doctor Cho is confident it will accelerate healing for her." He smiled as he gave them the news. He knew it would never go further than this room and the reaction of his friends warmed him.

"That's amazing news." Clint grinned, perching himself on the end of her bed, near her feet.

"Good, she owes me money." Tony mumbled, shaking his head but Steve caught the relieved grin he flashed as he clutched the end of her bed.

"Tell me, Captain. The serum is the same as yours?" Thor inquired, his arms folded.

"Similar, yes." Steve nodded "It's the stuff that kept Peggy and Dugan so young and alive." Natasha sat on the bed beside Aurora's legs, taking Steve's free hand in hers.

"You should go and shower, get some sleep." She said softly as the others peeled off into conversation.

Steve looked at her and shook his head. "No I'm –"

"I was here three days ago and you look exactly the same. I'm pretty sure those are the same clothes too." She mused, lifting a hand to scruff the 4 day growth that peppered Steve's cheeks. "Although the beard is a good look on you. Makes you look less innocent." She chuckled. Steve rubbed his cheek thoughtfully but said nothing. "Go, shower and eat Steve. We'll watch over her."

He met Natasha's gaze and knew there was no arguing with the woman. He knew Hydra wouldn't try to make a move for her again but knowing she was being protected by his team made getting up a little easier.

"I'll be back soon." He sighed, his body feeling heavy and tired as he stood and shut himself into the bathroom attached to her room.

* * *

 _She couldn't breath. There was a searing pain as Steve vaulted across the bed for Zemo and then her breath had stopped. Panic flooded her system as she tried to take gulps of air but her throat was wide open and her blood was burning hot as it poured down her front. Everything was slippery, her fingers scrambled for purchase on her skin but she didn't know what to hold together._

 _Steve held her tightly, his hands slipping over her skin as she clutched at his suit. Oh god, she was going to die. She could feel her head swimming and her vision was blackening at the edges. He wasn't supposed to see this. He wasn't supposed to watch her die but she could see his face and hear his voice, begging her to stay with him._

 _Every time he moved them, pain erupted through her body. The sun burned her skin and she closed her eyes._

 _Darkness was so nice. It was so welcoming and her ears seemed to dim the noise for her. Voices were muffled._

 _Was that Natasha? And Arthur? She didn't know and she couldn't quite muster up the energy to open her eyes and check._

 _Had she stopped breathing? She had. Her lungs screamed for oxygen and with one last push her mouth opened and she gulped down lungful's of sweet air –_

" _Hey,_ hey sweetheart it's ok…" Everything came into sharp focus as her eyes flew open. There was a rapid beeping, loud and invasive to her left and her hands went to her throat. "Sweetheart, calm down… someone call for Doctor Cho!"

There was a flurry of activity and someone clamped down on her hands as they scratched at her throat.

She was breathing. She was breathing and she was seeing and what she was seeing was absolutely beautiful because she never thought she'd see him again.

Steve. His face was inches from her own and he was so beautiful, even with the beard he'd somehow grown overnight.

"Steve?" She breathed, her voice cracking and her throat protesting because her tongue and mouth were as dry as a desert.

"Yeah, it's me. It's me you're safe." He smiled, picking up her hand and pressing his lips to it. "Your grandma's here too… and your Pa…" He gestured around, leaning back and she could see both her grandparents hovering around the bed she was in.

Her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm alive." Her voice sounded strange, her tongue heavy behind her teeth.

"You are, darling." Peggy nodded, scooping up her other hand. Dugan stood behind his wife, beaming down at Rory from under his hat and moustache. Rory closed her eyes as her heartbeat slowed. Peg pushed some water into her hands and she sipped it, relishing in the coolness as it washed around her mouth.

"What happened to Zemo?" She asked after a minute, her jaw clenching tight.

"Dead." Steve murmured in a low voice. She felt his hand tighten around hers. "I killed him."

" _You_ killed someone?" She asked, her eyes opening. Steve lifted his head and looked at her in confusion. "You're Captain America. I don't know if the nation is going to appreciate their golden boy advocating murder." A joke. She'd almost died and here she was making jokes? She couldn't help it. Everyone looked so damn tense...

There was a moment when Steve wasn't sure what to say, she could tell by the look on his face. Then he smirked and shook his head, bringing her hand to his lips again.

"Hey, I was in the Second World War, remember? I killed Nazi's for a living." He gave an eyeroll as he sat back in his seat. His hand stayed clasped firmly in hers though and she smiled.

The door opened behind them and Doctor Cho entered the room. Rory looked at her warily, her fingers tightening around Steve's hand.

"It's ok." He muttered in a low voice, reading the apprehension in her expression. "That's your doctor. She's worked for Tony for years."

"Stark?" She asked and Steve nodded.

"She's SHIELD now but Tony brought her in. She's the best."

"It's good to see you awake, Miss Dugan." Doctor Cho smiled warmly as she approached Rory's bed. "I see the serum booster is working."

"Serum?" Rory asked, her eyebrows rising. She looked around at her grandparents, wondering what she was talking about.

"We had a booster or two spare." Dugan cleared his throat and Rory looked up at him. "We decided that giving it to you was your best chance for a quick recovery."

Rory looked at her hands, frowning as she realized they were clean and clear, with no trace of the broken thumb Zemo had gifted her with.

"How long will it last?" She asked, looking back at her grandparents.

"We used to get boosters every 5 years." Peggy replied, reaching out to smooth Rory's hair.

"So I'm a super soldier now?" She asked, her brow furrowing. She wasn't sure how she felt about that. She liked the small perks that she'd received from having the serum genetically – slightly stronger, slightly fast and slightly smarter than the average person – but to actually have the full effects? That seemed a little much.

"Oh no, nothing like that." Peggy shook her head and Rory let out a relieved breath. "You won't age as fast, you'll heal faster, have slightly more stamina and metabolism. Sternberg never quite managed the serum the way Erskine did."

Rory turned to Steve, wondering if he'd had a say in this.

"How do you feel about it?" She asked him, her head swimming with the information.

"I just wanted you awake and healing faster than you were." He replied. "And if it means you still look 25 in 20 years then I'm not complaining."

She let out a laugh then, smacking him lightly in the chest before she gripped his hand again. She turned to Doctor Cho.

"So I'm guessing I have a lot to catch up on then?"

* * *

"You're doing exceptionally well, Agent Dugan." Doctor Cho said warmly from the end of Aurora's bed. She replaced the chart back in the holder and folded her arms. "Your body is healing, you should have minimal scarring and I give it maybe another week before your knee is completely healed and we can take that cast off."

Relief flooded through Aurora's body at the news. She was healing even quicker than expected which was great because she was dying to get out of the hospital. She felt better, much stronger too and she was impatiently waiting to be given the all clear to get out and get back to a normal life.

"So I can go home soon?" She asked, squeezing Steve's hand tightly. He gave it a squeeze back, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.

He'd barely left her side since she'd woken. She'd been told by Maggie that he'd barely left her side since she'd been admitted which didn't surprise her in the slightest.

"Soon." Doctor Cho nodded, giving her a smile as she scribbled something down on the chart. "Just a few more days for observation, no longer than a week. You should be home for your birthday."

"I'll hold you too that, Doc." Rory pointed to her doctor, who laughed and nodded a goodbye before leaving the two alone. "God, I'd kill to get out of here." She sighed as she sat up and swung her legs off the bed.

"Well you heard, Doctor Cho. Soon." Steve said, helping her as her feet touched the cold floor. "Where are you going?" He asked and Rory glanced at him, running a hand through her hair.

"Bathroom." She quirked a brow and cocked her head toward the joined bathroom door. "Is that ok?" She laughed softly.

"Yeah, fine. I just… was wondering." Steve sat back in his seat and let go of her hands. "Do you need a hand?"

"I think I can pee on my own, Steve." She shook her head, grunting as she put weight on her damaged leg. "I'm ok." She assured him when he sat forward again to help her. She limped toward the door, cursing her shattered knee as she moved slower than a snail. Pain throbbed dully all the way to her hip but she made it and proudly shut the door.

She took her time, taking in the scenery of the different room and checking her reflection over.

She had more colour in her cheeks these days. When she'd first woken up she had been so pale her hair had looked like it was on fire in comparison. Her eyes had lost their shine as well but now she looked healthy and happy with not a trace of the bruising or busted lip in sight.

 _Mostly_ happy; there was still the matter of the long, thin scar that crossed from one side of her neck to the other… and the even longer one that started at her shoulder and went down her chest in a half Y shape… then there were the two, perfectly round bullet holes in her left shoulder… She was something akin to Frankenstein's monster, all stitched back together and she hated it.

The stitches were still in and poked out like small bugs from her skin. Doctor Cho wanted to keep them in for as long as they could because they'd been there from before her extra dose of serum and the doctor didn't know what would happen if they took them out too soon. It also meant that they would scar permanently, a fact that Rory wasn't overly thrilled with.

They were ugly and raised, a constant reminder of what she'd been through. Her heart pounded in her ears as a searing pain crossed over them, like she could see the scalpel cutting her flesh again. She gripped the sink tightly, tearing her eyes away from the mess that was her chest. Tears pricked her eyes. They were so ugly. They were so –

"Sweetheart?" Steve knocked on the door and she jumped a mile. "You ok? Are you stuck again?"

She sucked in a deep breath and turned the taps on, studiously ignoring her reflection.

"NO, I'm ok!" She called back, splashing water on her face to hide the burning behind her eyes. She patted her skin dry before opening the door to find a worried Steve standing on the other side "I'm fine."

"I know." He nodded, reaching for her hand. "I could just hear you breathing funny, thought you might have hurt yourself."

She grimaced. "Your super hearing is awful, you know that?" She sighed, shaking her head as he helped her back to the bed. "I just… caught sight of these in the mirror…" She gestured to the wounds. "I don't like them."

"Why?" He asked, sitting on the bed beside her. He tucked her under his arm so she could rest against his chest.

"Because they're ugly. I'm never going to be able to wear anything but a turtleneck sweater again." She sighed, scowling. Steve chuckled, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

"Don't be silly." He murmured. "They're going to be barely noticeable in a few months."

"That's bullshit." She shook her head. "They were deep, Steve. No amount of serum that I have is going to get rid of them." She argued, squeezing her eyes closed at the thought. "I'm going to have to look at them for the rest of my life. _You're_ going to have to look at them for the rest of your life…" Her stomach dropped. What if he didn't find her attractive anymore?

"So? You have to look at my injuries for the rest of our lives too." He pointed out, squeezing her tightly.

" _Yours_ fade with time. Mine won't."

He nudged her, making her lift her head to look at him with a hand to her jaw and she met his sky blue eyes that she loved so much. "They're just scars, doll. You're still the most beautiful dame I've ever seen."

Rory took a breath. She was being silly again she knew. She couldn't help it. In the hospital bed she felt so vulnerable, so small. Every little insecurity invaded her mind and she struggled to push them back.

Steve helped though and she was glad he was still there. Although, he'd promised her more times than she could count that he was never leaving again. She knew he blamed himself for everything that had happened. No matter how often she told him not to, he didn't listen.

"Sweet talker." She chuckled, leaning forward to kiss him gently. He smiled against her lips, his hand coming up to cup the side of her face to hold her in place while he kissed her back.

They broke apart when they heard someone clear their throat and Rory wiped her lips as she met her grandfather's disapproving gaze.

"Oh, don't stop on _my_ account." He narrowed his gaze on them both, folding his arms across his chest. Steve audibly gulped and sat back in his seat, keeping only his fingertips touching hers.

Rory hadn't seen the black eyes and semi-broken nose her Grandfather had gifted Steve with, but she'd heard all about it. He was no closer to forgiving his friend and seemed hell bent on not letting them spend any time alone together even though their family and friends gave them a small grace period each day when it was just the two of them.

"Hi Pa." She smiled, lifting her hand as she wiggled her fingers in greeting. "Where's Grandma?" She inquired, looking behind him.

"Coming." He replied, setting down a bag at the end of her bed. "Jo and Allison are with her."

"Baby Ava?" Her eyes widened and she grinned at the prospect of _finally_ seeing her new niece. The baby was a week and a half old and Rory hadn't been allowed out of bed to go and see her. She was dying to get her baby fix, especially because everyone else had been by and had gushed over how adorable she was.

"Yes, she's got baby Ava with her." Dugan chuckled, patting her on the shin. "How're you feeling?"

"Better every day." She replied. "Doctor Cho said I should be home by my birthday."

"Don't push the doctor. She'll let you out when she thinks you're ready." Dugan said and Rory pulled a face.

"No pushing was done, Pa. I promise." She turned and looked at Steve, who was quiet and still in his chair. "Right Steve?"

"Right." The Soldier nodded, looking at his jeans. Rory let out an exasperated sigh as her Grandfather looked away pointedly. She knew her grandfather was mad at them and could see why but it was getting a little more than ridiculous.

"Will you two just stop already?!" She exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. Both men shifted and glanced at her. "Pa, I'm serious. You two need to get over this."

Dugan scowled.

"You didn't tell me." He said and Rory laughed lightly.

"I didn't tell anyone. Maggie and Grandma both guessed and I knew how you'd react." She folded her arms, giving Steve a very pointed look.

He let out resigned sigh.

"I'm sorry we didn't tell you, Dugan. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was in love with her I just… didn't quite know how." Steve explained in a low voice, his hand finding Rory's again for support. "Hell, I didn't really know how to admit it to myself either…"

Dugan was quiet for a long moment, staring his friend down. Finally he removed his hat, giving another long and loud sigh. Steve braced himself.

"Quite a situation here isn't it?" Dugan said gruffly, stroking his bushy moustache as he thought about what to say next. "I trusted you to look after her, Steve –"

"I have been nothing but good to her, Dugan I swear on my life – on _Bucky's_ life. I never pushed her for anything…"

"He didn't Pa. If anything it was _me_ pushing _him_ and –"

Dugan grimaced, holding up his hand to silence them both.

" – I trusted you to look after her and _you did_." Dugan said once they'd fallen silent again. "You've done nothing but look after her since she threw herself into your life like a freight train."

"I've tried." Steve looked back at Aurora, giving her a smile that made her heart skip a hundred beats. "I've really tried but she looked after me too."

"You brought her back alive." Dugan said in a level voice, causing Steve to turn and look at his old friend again. "You got her out of there _alive_ and I couldn't think of a better man for her."

Something lodged in the back of Steve's throat and it took him a few moments to dislodge it. Rory squeezed his hand tightly, giving him all of her support.

"That… That means a lot to me, Tim, because I'm no about to let this girl go without a fight – old friend or not." Steve admitted with a half turned smile. He glanced at Rory, feeling damned dizzy with relief. She was alive and here with him. Dugan had given him his blessing.

Life was perfect.

The door opened then and Rory let out a squeal as her eyes landed on baby Ava's carrier.

"Give me that baby right now!" She pointed at the bassinet, dropping Steve's hand in the process. Something lodged in Steve's throat as Jo came closer.

"Hi to you too." Jo, the new mother, rolled her eyes as she walked into the room and planted a kiss on Rory's cheek. "You're looking a hell of a lot better."

"I am, now give me that baby." Rory wriggled her fingers as she sat forward to look into the bassinet Jo had placed down.

"So rude, Roar." Alison laughed, shaking her head. "It's good to see you feeling better."

"Much better." Rory agreed absently as she took the baby from Jo's arms. God she was beautiful. So pink and clean, with a shock of dark hair and eyes as blue as the ocean. Rory inhaled deeply, smelling new baby and power waft up her nose. "Look at how absolutely perfect she is." She murmured, glancing around for Steve.

"She sure is something." He nodded once before standing abruptly to give Jo his seat. He cleared his throat. "I'm going to get some coffee… anyone else?" He looked around at Dugan and Alison before he disappeared through the door.

Rory frowned. That was odd. He'd gone from not wanting to leave her side to disappearing out the door in 2 seconds flat. It wasn't like him not to like children… maybe he just needed a break from being around her? She tried not to dwell on that thought. Even though he was overprotective these days she needed him around for her own sanity. She was scared to be alone.

"So how are you feeling?" Jo brought her attention back to the present and Rory smiled as she told them her good news about her possible release date.

Outside in the corridor, Steve leant against the wall opposite her room trying to get the image of Aurora with the baby in her arms out of his mind. His heart was breaking. He'd lost the pregnancy just as much as she had but he was going through this alone. He couldn't tell her, not when she was doing so well so far.

But she'd just looked so happy when she'd gotten Ava in her arms. She's stared down at the baby like it was her own. _God_ it could have been her own. She had to know. He had to tell her.

"I never thought I'd see you out of that chair again." Natasha's voice made him look up and he gave his friend a nod in greeting. "You get kicked out or something?" Nat asked as she stopped beside him.

He shook his head. "Not quite." He replied. "Jo brought Ava over."

"Ah." Natasha eyed the room warily. "Stink bomb?"

Steve chuckled.

"No, nothing like that." He looked down at his feet. "It's a bit more complicated than a full diaper."

He swore he heard Natasha frown.

"You look like someone just killed your dog. You wanna talk about it?" She asked, joining him against the wall. Steve let out a breath, looking at the room again as if willing himself to return. "Seriously, Steve. What's going on?"

He glanced at Natasha and knew she'd picked up on his worry. It was evident on her face and he nodded down the corridor.

"C'mon, let's go get coffee." He muttered before he pushed off the wall and headed for the cafeteria.

Natasha followed silently, not once pushing him to talk until they were in a secluded spot in the sun outside the hospital. Steve couldn't remember the last time he'd felt the sun on his face. He scrubbed a hand through his beard.

"Rory's almost fully recovered. Doctor Cho came by this morning, said that she is probably going to be out of here by her birthday." He started to explain. Natasha smiled.

"That's great!" She said, sipping her coffee.

"It is." He nodded.

"Then why do you look like you're about the cry?"

He loosed a breath. His chest felt tight. He didn't quite know what was about to come out of his mouth.

"Rory was pregnant when she was taken." There was no easy way to say it. No easy way to tell Natasha the truth. He felt like he wanted to throw up, his head spun and he sat forward to place the coffee on the ground before he spilled it all over himself.

"Shit, Steve. Did she know?" Nat asked, her hand resting on his back. Steve shook his head.

"No. It was so early, only 9 weeks, that she probably didn't. Doc says the stress from everything made her body terminate." He swallowed some coffee around the lump in his throat before placing the cup back on the ground. "We decided to wait to tell her. We didn't want to add to any stress but it's… it's…"

"It's killing you." Nat murmured softly. "Losing a child, it's not an easy thing for either party." She reached for his hand and squeezed it softly. "You are going to tell her, aren't you?"

"Eventually." He nodded. "I just… don't know when or how." He shrugged.

"It's not going to be easy." Nat said and Steve nodded.

"I know." He agreed. "I also know she's going to be pissed off we didn't tell her right away."

"She'll get over that. She'll understand why you didn't." Nat let out a dark huff that could have been a laugh. "She's lucky she doesn't know. I would give anything not to remember that."

Steve's eyebrows show into his hairline as he turned to look at his friend, her words holding a deeper meaning.

"Natasha I'm –"

"Don't." The red head raised her hand to silence his condolences. "It was a long time ago for me. A different time. I was a different person… but don't keep this from her Steve. She deserves to know."

"I will but she's struggling with everything else. She wakes up most nights screaming. I'm scared to leave her alone because she's just so damn terrified." He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "She hates the reminders on her body. She won't say anything to me but I can tell. She covers up all the time. When she's in the bathroom I can hear her breathing change and I know she's looking at herself and remembering how she got those scars. She gets changed in a different room so I can't see them, which shouldn't bother me but it does –"

Everything he was thinking and feeling came pouring out and his throat tightened painfully. Natasha dropped his hand, opting instead to wrap her arms around his broad frame.

"I don't know how to help her, Nat, but I know I can't say anything about the baby now." He said softly and Natasha nodded her head, chin pressing into his shoulder.

"She'll understand but you don't have to struggle through your loss alone, Steve." Natasha said softly. Steve shrugged a shoulder and she pulled away from him.

"Gotta be the strong one." He smiled lightly. "It's my turn to help her."

"You're always going to be the stronger one." Nat teased lightly, pushing on his shoulder. "Doesn't mean you don't have friends who want to help you too."

Steve loosed a breath and nodded. Natasha was there for him. All of them were there for him just so he could be there for her.

After a moment, Natasha drained her cup and stood.

"C'mon, she's probably wondering where you are." She beckoned to him and he stood, finishing up the last of his own coffee and following Natasha back to Aurora's room.

He stepped inside the door, finding even more people than before and he smiled when he saw her laughing loudly at something Darcy was saying. Ava was still in her arms, Jo watching from Steve's chair beside the bed. Maggie was curled up on the end of the bed, hunched over her cast with markers scattered around the sheets.

Pepper and Jane were on the other side, rearranging some more flowers to go with the ever growing display either side of the bed. She had her friends around her. She was happy. She flashed him a brilliant smile, which he returned easily. God, he was so in love with her.

"I suppose this is payback for stealin' Peg from you." Dugan chuckled lightly as he found his friend at the side of the room. Steve laughed loudly and clapped him on the shoulder.

"For the first time I'm glad you did, Tim. I'm very glad you did." He mused with a shake of his head.

Tim lifted his arm and gripped Steve's shoulder tightly in return.

"There's one thing that we need to do, though. _You_ need to do." Tim's smile slid off his face and Steve's stomach knotted. "You need to keep her safe at whatever cost."

"Of course." Steve answered quickly, but he sense Tim had something else to say.

"She needs to leave SHIELD."

The words hung heavy in the air as Steve mulled them over. He'd been thinking the same thing since she'd woken up. SHIELD had been the reason for him almost losing her. Her job had almost taken her life and he couldn't have that. Part of him blamed himself for it as well. She might not have been taken if she hadn't had the connection to him.

If she hadn't broken her orders and spoken to him, she wouldn't have been an interest to Holstein, who wouldn't have told Zemo who she was. It always came back to her job and to him.

"You know she's not going to want to, don't you?" Steve said softly, gazing at his beaming girl, whose eyes were closed as she inhaled the sweet scent Ava held.

"She's already started talking about when she'll be ready to go back into field."

"I know and I'm terrified."

"So am I."

The two men stood silently for a while, watching their friends and family in front of them, Steve lost in thought about how to get her to quit SHIELD. It wasn't a conversation he wanted to have with her but he needed to. She couldn't stay in the job that had almost killed her.

* * *

Author's Note:

So. This was a rollercoaster and I'm both so proud and so sorry. Feel free to leave me messages telling me what you think. But be kind I guess? Apologies for the delay. I needed this to be perfect but I also had a convention this past weekend which put my schedule behind. Thanks for being patient!

Playlist:

Scream - Avenged Sevenfold

Devil Within - Digital Daggers

I come with Knives - IAMX


	31. Home at Last

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 31: Home at Last

"Home _sweet_ home." Rory breathed happily as her grandfather's car pulled to a stop in the driveway of her childhood home. She was free at last from the hospital, Doctor Cho having given her the all clear just in time for her birthday. She just had to keep off her feet as much as possible as her knee wasn't quite healed yet, and she was to maintain a normal routine before she could even think about going back to work but she was well enough to go home and spend time with her family.

She was out of the hospital and in the comfort of her home and she couldn't have been happier.

"C'mon, this way." Steve tugged on her hand as he opened his door, pulling her across the seat toward him. She smiled, taking his hand as he helped her out of the car.

"Thanks, but I got it." She said as she let him go. She limped on a stiff leg toward the back of her car, but Steve moved around her, popping the trunk and reaching for her bags before she could. "Steve!" She exclaimed, shaking her head.

"Relax. You're meant to be relaxing." He reminded her a lazy smile as he slammed the trunk closed.

"I can relax and carry my own bags, you know." She argued, shaking her head.

She was mildly hoping that Steve's new and improved overprotective nature would have diminished now that she was out of the hospital but she had a feeling that it was only going to get worse. She loved that he never left her side and loved that he wanted to help with everything but if she had to tell him one more time that she was only going to the bathroom, she was going to scream.

"Take it easy, darling." Peggy reminded her as she passed her grandmother on the porch stairs. "You're still recovering."

" _So_ you all keep reminding me." Rory rolled her eyes, her back to her grandmother as the front door opened with a click. "I'm quite ok though. Happy to be out of the hospital and perfectly ok to walk up some stairs, or carry my own bags." She shot over her shoulder, shaking her head.

She breathed deeply as she entered the entrance hall. She was excited to be spending time at home again. It had been so long since she'd stayed for longer than a weekend in Boston. She'd missed her city so damn much that it hurt. Being home also meant spending time with her family, something she hadn't been able to do in a long time.

Truthfully she was glad she wasn't going back to her apartment at the Tower. Just thinking about how Zemo had so easily gotten to her there gave her chills. She would go back, one day, but for now she was going to enjoy a well-deserved break. All she wanted to do right now was go up to her room, take a long, hot shower and curl up in her own bed with Steve. She might even catch up on some TV with Netflix, a luxury she hadn't afforded herself in months.

"Hey!" She exclaimed when Steve grabbed her arm, pulling her away from the stairs. "What are you –"

"We're staying down here." He nodded his head in the direction of the hall. She frowned.

"Bedroom's are upstairs." She threw her thumb over her shoulder.

"I asked Dugan if we could borrow his study to turn it into your room while your leg's still bad." Steve smiled, tugging on her hand. She tugged back, refusing to move.

"No, I want _my_ room." She shook her head, placing her foot on the first step again.

"We've already moved your stuff, sweetheart." Dugan told her with a smile which fell slightly as her frown deepened.

"Well you can just move it right back. I don't _want_ to stay on the ground level. I want _my_ room with _my_ bed." She argued, folding her arms and setting her jaw.

"But your knee –" Steve argued.

" _Is getting better_." She hissed through gritted teeth. She sucked in a deep breath through her nose. "I can take the damn stairs, Steve. I'm _not_ made of glass so stop treating me like I am." She pointed her finger at him before turning it toward Dugan and Peggy. "Please." She added, dropping her hand with a sigh.

"Doctor Cho said to take it easy." Steve ran a hand through his hair. Rory's eyes narrowed.

"I am going to take it easy from the comfort of my own bed in my own room on the second level of this house." She shook her head. "So whatever the hell you three have moved, you move it back right now!"

Her grandparents and Steve exchanged looks before Steve sighed, nodding his head.

"Alright, fine." He agreed and she smiled.

"Thank you." She said softly. Steve gave a small sigh and shook his head.

"It's fine. Go wait in the living room. I'll move it around now." He kissed her as he tugged her closer. Dugan cleared his throat and Rory laughed.

"Sorry Pa." She murmured, placing one more kiss against Steve's lips before she headed for the living room. "Hey, where's Bis?" She asked, realizing there had been no tell tail signs of the excited golden retriever to greet her at the door.

"Haven't seen him since this morning." Peggy replied and panic flared in Rory's stomach as she stalked toward the living room. What if something had happened to him? What if Hydra had come by and had killed him? What if he was –

"SURRISE!" The chorus of voices made her freeze on the spot as the lights in the room blazed suddenly over head. For a few seconds she didn't move, her eyes taking in everyone in the room. Biscuit barked happily from between Grant's knees and she loosed a relieved breath. They were her family and her friends. They were here for her birthday.

"Oh my _god_!" She said finally. Steve came up behind her to hold her close against his chest. She sagged into him as she started to laugh. Her hands shook as thoughts of Hydra vanished from her mind. Steve's chest rumbled with a laugh as he pressed into her back. "Did you do this?" She asked him, craning her neck to look at him.

"I figured I needed to do something for your birthday, although it's no where near what you did for mine." He smiled before leaning down to kiss her. Bis barked again and she broke away from Steve to catch the excited dog running toward her.

All at once everyone started talking and she looked up to take in everyone who was there with her. Beth, Jane and Sharon. Arthur and Darcy, Nat and Clint. Thor and Bruce, Tony and Pepper. Grant and Alison, Tim and Jo as well as Maggie and Jay. Everyone she held dear was in the room with her, wishing her a happy birthday and reminding her that she was alive to see it

She did the rounds of the room and she hugged people one at a time. Each and every one of them held her tightly as if they were surprised she was really tangible and alive. They'd all seen her in the hospital of course, some – like Arthur and Darcy – had practically moved into her room, but the fact that she was up and walking around made everything seem so very real. There were a few tears but they were all from happiness and relief.

"You ok?" Steve asked after an hour, his hand warm and steadying on her back as she stood off to the side and watched everyone.

"I'm fine, Steve." She turned to him, shrugging his hand off her back. "Stop hovering."

"I'm not hovering, I'm just making sure you're ok." Steve's eyebrow creased at her movement.

"You're hovering." She smiled lightly, clearing her throat. "You've been hovering for an hour."

He winced, pulling her in with an arm around her waist. It gave her no room to push away from him so she relaxed against his side.

"Too much?" He asked and she hummed as she thought for a moment.

"I'm not going to fall apart and I'm not going to run away." She chuckled as she leant her head against his chest. Even though his constant presence was starting to wear on her, she wouldn't have traded it for the world. She hated being alone now because it was during those times that the memories of being captured and taken, of being cut open and tortured invaded her mind and they honestly scared her more than she wanted to admit.

She felt like she was being watched constantly too, like Zemo was hiding around every corner just waiting to get her. Even seeing the pictures of his decapitated body hadn't helped the paranoia all that much. She was worried that someone was going to seek revenge, so Steve being around her wasn't such a bad thing…. It was just tedious when he treated her like an invalid, doing things for her that she was quite capable of doing herself.

"I know. I just want to make sure you're ok." He pressed a kiss to her hair. She linked their fingers and squeezed them.

"I'm perfectly ok." She told him, even though it might have been a small lie.

"I just… need to know it too." He replied. She squeezed his fingers again, tilting her head to give him a small kiss.

"Well I am, so stop worrying." She smiled and pulled away from him. She took a step away and he tugged on her hand.

"Where're you going?" He asked and Rory grit her teeth against the exasperated sigh that threatened to escape her lips.

"To talk to people." She tugged her fingers from his before turning away from him.

She spoke to a few people as she wandered around the room but soon she found herself seeking out the quietness of the kitchen. While she appreciated them all being there with her to celebrate her birthday, she couldn't shake the pitying looks they were giving her every time her knee locked into place, or the way their eyes found her neck in the hopes of catching a glimpse of her scars.

She was about 90% sure she was imagining things but she couldn't shake the knot in her stomach, or the paranoia in the back of her mind. She didn't want people to pity her. She didn't want her friends to think she was weak, or that she could no longer do things. She just wanted everything to go back to normal as fast as possible.

Letting out a sigh, she leant against the kitchen bench and looked out at the garden. Everything was frosted over, the mid-November fall showing signs of the harsh winter to come. Her eyes tracked over the pool, to the trees beyond and to her neighbors' fence.

She straightened, frowning, as something moved on the other side of the shrubs. They stood still and then they moved, hunching over while looking her way. Panic flooded her veins and her knuckles tightened on the edge of the counter.

 _You're being silly_ a voice in her mind tried to reason with her, but another voice told her it was Hydra. They were there to come and finish the job. She struggled to swallow as her blood whooshed through her ears, drowning out any other sound.

The figure straightened again, turning her way.

Her ears rang –

" _Rory!_ "

She spun on her heel, her hands raised as she brandished the knife she didn't remember picking up. Tony's hands rose, his eyes wide.

"Jesus, Kid, it's just me." He muttered, his eyes going from hers to the knife and back again. "Wanted to see how you were going but I guess –"

Rory dropped the knife, the sound of it clattering to the floor dulled by the ringing in her ears. Her eyes went back to the window.

"I'm sorry I thought I saw… in the trees there was…" Nothing. Whoever had been there was gone now. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't worry about it. There's no one out there." Tony said in a soft voice, moving to where she stood. He scooped the knife off the floor and tossed it on the bench. Rory's eyes peered out the window, trying to find the figure again. "It was the neighbor." He said more gently that Rory could ever imagine him being. She half wished he would crack a joke just to make her feel less shit guilty pulling a knife on him.

"I know." She said softly, her eyes stinging. She blinked rapidly, nodding her head. "I know. It was Mrs Russo, probably finishing her green house." She managed to say.

Tony's hand gripped her shoulder and she tore her eyes away to look at her old friend.

"How you holding up?" He asked, his eyes studying her as if searching for an answer in her mind. She gave him a withering look, her defenses flaring at his pity.

"Oh _peachy_." She hissed, rolling her eyes. She shrugged his hand off her shoulder "I thought my neighbor was Hydra and I almost stabbed you."

"I was too far away for you to stab and I wouldn't be surprised if she was." Tony glanced toward Mrs Russo's house, ignoring her snarl. "Miserable old bat." He added and Rory let out a shaky laugh. "C'mon, sit. You look like you could use a drink."

Rory listened to him him seating herself on one side of the breakfast bar while he walked around the kitchen.

"I'm not allowed to –"

"Yeah, right. Painkillers I know. Trust me, it'll help." He waved away her protests as he reached for the cabinet above the refrigerator. "How're your nightmares?"

"Fine." She replied automatically, the stock standard answer she gave whenever someone asked. He glanced over her shoulder, grinning widely at her.

"That bad, huh?" He questioned and she scowled. "You know, I don't think I slept at all for the first 4 months after the desert," He added as he pulled the cork out of one of her Pa's finest whiskies. "Even with the _Prazosin,_ I think I only slept for an hour at a time."

Rory watched her friend closely, her expression softening as his words sunk in. He handed her the glass of whisky as if he hadn't just told her about his own personal darkness, and he downed his own drink in a flash.

She'd never heard him speak about what had happened after he'd come back from the desert. Occasionally he'd joke about it but she never knew if he was serious or not. His kidnapping was something he kept close to his chest, a secret that only he knew how to deal with and now she knew why. No one understood it when you tried to explain it.

But he did.

It was then that she realized he understood what she was feeling better than anyone ever would. She could talk to him and he wouldn't judge her, wouldn't pity her and he wouldn't think anything less of her.

"I slept ok in the hospital. Some nightmares but Steve was there every time, waking me up, reminding me it wasn't real." She said softly, taking a sip of whisky. Her hands were shaking as she lowered the glass and she pressed her palms into the counter, either side of her glass. "I know it's not real. I know it's just a dream and I know he's dead, but god it feels real."

"It'll always feel real." Tony nodded. "You just can't let it beat you."

Rory let out a huff.

"Oh I don't plan on it." She shook her head. "I thought I'd be frightened of everything, and I am to a degree…" Tony gave a laugh and they both looked pointedly at the knife. "but I'm mostly angry." She gave a grim smile before lifting the glass again. "Angry that I let it happen to me. That I couldn't fight back… that I was lying there, helpless, and I didn't even try and get away."

"You were strapped down, what could you have done?" Tony asked with a shrug. "Being angry that it happened doesn't solve anything. Trust me. Neither does drowning your anger in a bottle." He grimaced as he poured another whisky for himself. "Again, trust me."

She gave a small laugh as she finished her glass. She pushed it forward for him to refill, which he did with minor hesitation.

"I want to tell you it gets better but it doesn't. It get's easier to deal with but it'll always be a scar you have to carry." He added finally, after a long moment of silence.

"I have enough scars, I don't need this one too." Rory said darkly, giving a small shake of her head. She gripped her throat, pulling the turtleneck tighter across her skin.

God she hated those scars. The raised, lumpy, red scars that lined her neck and chest. They were constant reminders of what she'd been through. Every time she looked at them she could feel the knife dragging across her skin, feel her blood pouring out of them, hot and slick and so damn sticky.

She hated them because she no longer liked how she looked. She hated them because they took a piece of her confidence away from her. She hated them because she'd been awake and mobile for almost a month and Steve had yet to see her without clothes on. She hated them because they'd changed her.

"You can let your scars rule you, or you can own them as a badge of honor." Tony brought her back from the depths of her mind with a soft voice. He tapped his arc reactor that glowed softly through his shirt and she stared at it.

"Your scar is a little cooler than mine." She muttered with a small shake of her head. Tony gave a short laugh before he lifted his shirt, exposing his chest to her.

"The blue is cool but the twisted skin and burns around it? Not exactly 'Stud of the Year' material." He rolled his eyes as he dropped his shirt again.

"And here I was thinking that was your goatee and moustache." Rory grinned and Tony gave a loud laugh.

"Touche, kid. What I mean is, do I hate it? Yes. Does it remind me of what happened in the cave? Every single day." He leant his elbows on the counter and took her hand. He brought it up to his lips. "But do I let it own me? No. I own it. It lets people know I survived and there is nothing wrong with surviving. It's a hell of a lot more than most people would have done."

Rory's eyes stung again and she dropped her head. Her throat burned as she fought back tears. It wasn't that people hadn't been telling her this for weeks, it was just that it meant so much more from someone who knew a little of what she'd been through.

Tony had been kidnapped, psychologically tortured and he'd almost died. He'd come out on top and she was determined to do the same.

She lifted her head when she heard Steve calling her name through the house.

"Do overbearing loved ones get better as well?" She asked with a small sigh. Tony laughed, kissing her hands again before he dropped them.

"Are you kidding me? I can look at my phone right now and I can promise you I have at least 3 missed calls from Rhodey and probably one from Happy." He pulled out his phone and showed her the screen. Sure enough there were 4 missed calls from Rhodey and 2 from Happy. There was even a text message from Pepper. "Let him do his thing, kid. You didn't see him when we found you both." Tony glanced at the door as Steve's footsteps got louder. "He was just as dead as you were." He straightened, flashing her a grim smile.

A shiver went up Aurora's spine at the thought of what it had done to him to see her lying there, bleeding out and dead in his arms. She promised herself she would be softer on him about his overprotectiveness because he was only doing it out of love.

The door opened and Rory turned to see her hero walk through.

"There you are." He smiled, his shoulders visibly relaxing. She smiled back, beckoning him over to her with a wave of her hand.

"Here I am. I just needed some quiet." She murmured. She glanced at Tony, giving him a silent _thank you_ with her eyes. He winked.

"So I heard you two lovebirds arguing in the hall before we did the whole surprise thing –" Rory cringed, realising everyone would have heard their little argument. "Everything ok with the worlds most perfect couple?"

"We're fine, Tony. I should have asked if she wanted me to move her stuff." Steve kissed her cheek, eliciting a _gross_ from Tony.

"I appreciate what you were trying to do though." She said hastily, turning her head to kiss him properly.

"Double gross. I am _out_ of here if you guys are going to be disgusting." Tony placed his glass in the sink and returned the whisky to the top shelf. "Shall I tell everyone the party's over because the happy couple wants some alone time?" He gave an exaggerated wink and Rory rolled her eyes.

"Don't you dare…. She narrowed her eyes as he grinned, heading for the door.

"I'd like to see you stop me…" Tony placed his hand on the door and pushed it open. "Cripple!" He added as he disappeared through it.

Rory let out a laugh, shaking her head as she leant against Steve's side. She looked at him when he didn't say anything for a few moments and found him staring down at her with a gentle gaze. "What?" She asked, her hand coming up to the neck of her sweater, hoping it was hiding her scars.

"Nothing. I just haven't heard you laugh like that since you woke up." He smiled and dropped his head to kiss her softly. She sighed into it, bringing her hand up to cup his jaw. His hands shifted on her, one dropping to her thigh and the other snaking under the hem of her sweater to stroke patterns on her stomach.

It ignited a tight coil in her stomach, one she hadn't felt in a while and she knew she had to put the breaks on before Tony really did have to tell everyone to go.

"Let him tell them to go home…" Steve pulled away and murmured against her lips. "I'm sure they'll understand. I mean, they _have_ to understand…"

She laughed and pushed on his chest, placing her feet on the floor to stand.

"They won't be here much longer." She promised him, planting another kiss on his lips before ducking away.

"They better not be," He muttered, slipping his hand into hers and holding it tightly. "It's been ages since I've had my way with you…" His voice dropped to a low whisper and Rory shivered, ginning at him as she hushed him.

They were there hours longer than he wanted anyone to be, but Aurora looked happier than she had in a long time and that was all that mattered to Steve. She was spoiled rotten with presents but there was one that he still had left to give her. On top of the many things he'd gifted her with, including his old dog tags, he had his mothers' engagement ring sitting in a box in his pocket, burning a hole through the fabric.

His palms sweated because he knew how she felt about relationships and all things that went with it. He didn't want to push her but he wanted to make her his. To start their family the right way before they lost each other again.

He's spoken to Dugan and to Peggy about it, had gotten both their blessings and everything was good to go…He just didn't know how. There were too many options. So many pros and cons that he was constantly talking himself in and out of doing it.

He'd wanted to ask her in front of her family, but there was a risk she'd say no and they'd have to watch his heart break. He'd wanted to spoil her rotten but he knew she wouldn't want the fuss. Hell, the perfect time was probably right at that second, while she lay against him as they stretched out on her bed watching a movie before they fell asleep but he didn't want to disturb her peace. There were so many ways that he could do it and so many ways that it could go wrong that he didn't know what to do.

"Steve…" She said when they were halfway through the first movie. He hadn't seen any of it because all he could think about was her and what he wanted to ask.

"Mm?" He answered absently, bringing up a hand to stroke her hair.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" She lifted her head, pressing pause on the laptop before turning to look at him. Her beautiful golden eyes studied him and he frowned.

"What do you mean?" He asked, clearing his throat.

"I mean you won't stop fidgeting or sighing and you're not paying any attention to the movie at all." She replied, smiling slightly. "Everything ok?"

"Perfect, doll." He assured her, brushing some hair off her face. "Everything's fine. I guess I'm just not into the movie."

"But it's _R.E.D 2_. You loved the first one!" She replied with surprise and he chuckled.

"I'm just tired then." He assured her. He lifted his head off the pillow to press his lips to hers. "I'm surprised you're not asleep yet either. First night in your own bed, I thought you would have been asleep hours ago. You were falling asleep while people were still here earlier."

She grimaced, her nose wrinkling as she shifted closer to him.

"I wish. I'm not tired at all now. It's like my body is betraying me or something." She shook her head. "I'm happy to be in my own bed though. In my _own room_." She added with a pointed look. He winced.

"I honestly thought I was doing the right thing."

She leaned forward and kissed him, shifting so she could swing her leg half over his legs.

"I know. I'm sorry I got mad." She replied. "I'm just sick of feeling like I can't do anything."

"You're healing, doll. I just want you to do that quickly…" He pulled on her waist, tugging until she was half lying, half straddling his body. He ran his hands up her sides and felt her shiver.

"and I am." She nodded. "I just… like to know I can do my own thing."

"And you can. I'm sorry I've been overbearing and protective and annoying –"

"You're not annoying." She said quickly and he gave her a look, moving his hands up and under the oversized shirt she had pulled on to sleep in. "Maybe a little annoying, but no more annoying than Grandma and Pa."

"I can't help it. I lost you… I don't want to do that again." He smiled. She nodded, pressing her lips to his again, her hips rocking softly against his own. It had been too long since he'd last felt her against him, too long since they'd last been together. It was like exploring her new for the first time, his hands roaming across her hips and waist, pushing up her sides and her back, tracing over the curve of her shoulder blades.

He moved one hand to tug her shirt up and over her head but she gripped his wrist to stop him. He met her gaze as she sat above him and he saw the fear and self-consciousness seep into her gaze. It took him a moment to realise that it was about her scars. She'd been completely covered for weeks now, even going into another room to change. She didn't want him to see it and he wondered if it was because she thought he wouldn't find her attractive anymore.

"You know I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world, don't you?" He said softly, his voice hushed so no one else would hear them. He traced soothing patterns on her thighs as she shifted on top of him.

"I do." She nodded shyly, looking down at his chest, her small hands resting on his skin. "I just… don't want you to see them." She admitted. "They're ugly. They'll remind you about what happened."

Steve sat up, taking his hands from her legs to cup her face. He brought their foreheads together and he kissed her gently.

"I don't care what they look like." He said softly. "I just want to see you. _All_ of you… but when you want me to."

She was tense under his touch and he kissed her until she relaxed again, his hands still firmly on her neck and shoulders. He flexed his hips gently, testing the waters and was relieved when her hips ground against his hardened length.

A breathy moan escaped her lips and her fingers entangled in his hair. She tugged on the strands, their hearts beating both rapidly in time. It was new all over again and nerves coiled in Rory's stomach, but lust took over quickly enough and she gave a rock of her hips against him again. A half strangled moan to escaped from his lips and she hushed him, laughing softly as they paused to ensure no one heard him.

"Gotta be quiet." She murmured and Steve pushed some hair off her face.

"Haven't had to be quiet since the war, doll." He murmured, his fingers tracing the elastic of her panties. "You'll have to keep me quiet." He grinned the devil's grin and she let out a snort.

His fingers pushed past the elastic and left a hot trail down her skin as he pressed into her folds. She lifted herself up ever so slightly so he could curl them inside, wetting them with her slickness.

His hand pressed over her mouth as he started to pump them in and out with an agonizingly slow pace. She ground down on them, riding them as hard as he would allow. It felt naughty and juvenile and she came undone in a matter of minutes, the moan getting lost in her throat as her walls tensed around his fingers.

Steve chuckled as he removed his hand from her mouth, pressing his lips in a kiss against her neck.

"That was quick." He murmured, his breath hot.

"It's been a while?" She offered with a slight laugh and he pulled his hand from her panties.

"You're better at keeping quiet than I thought you would be." He murmured, urging her to shift to the side so he could take his own boxers off. He tugged her panties off as well, dropping them both to the floor.

"It's been a while since I've had to keep quiet too." She said with a grin. "Kind of makes things a little more exciting."

Steve gave a throaty chuckle as he eased her back against the sheets. He sat up onto his knees by her feet, looking down at his beautiful woman. It felt like he'd waited his whole life to have someone like her as his own. It made the 70 years under the ice worth it.

"Feels all kinds of juvenile." He agreed. He picked up one foot and kissed her ankle, before moving to the calf and then her injured knee. He placed a second kiss there for luck before moving to her thigh and then her belly, his nose nudging the hem of her shirt.

She tense again and he started to sit but she gripped his shoulder tightly.

"No." Came her murmured protest. He watched as she sat up and pulled the shirt over her head. A look of grim determination was locking her jaw in place and he smiled encouragingly at her while she argued with herself.

The room was dim but he could see her naked chest in the band of light that filtered in from behind the curtains. The thick cord of scars ran across her smooth flesh, angry and raised and a fresh reminder of what they'd been through. Flashes of that skin open and pouring blood echoed around his mind but he pushed it back, ignoring his own demons so he could help her fight hers.

He hunched over her, kissing her stomach above her navel before he came eye to eye with the end of the first scar. Her body shook when his lips touched it and he heard the scrape of her nails as she dug them into the sheets. She was fighting something, he knew, fighting the urge to push him away and cover up again so he continued on quickly, kissing his way up between her breasts and along to the right, where the top of the scar started.

He caged her to the bed with his body, holding her tightly and whispering sweet nothings that only she could hear. He pressed his lips to the scar on her throat, easing himself between her legs.

"I don't care what they look like," He whispered to her as he drew lazy shapes with his palm on her thigh. "I just know that I love you no matter what happens."

She nodded in response, her hand wiping her face before she ran her fingers through her hair.

"I'm sorry." She said in a thick voice. He met her gaze, finding it wet with panicked tears. "I'm just reminded every time I look at them –"

"So am I but I'm also reminded that you're alive and that's what I care about." He replied, smoothing hair off her face with his other hand.

"I love you." She whispered and he smiled.

"and I love you." He replied, feeling her hips shift as she urged him to continue.

He took his time as he slid into her. Enjoyed every feeling, every shiver of their first time together as an official couple. It had been far too long since he'd felt her, far too long since he'd lost himself in her ecstasy, that he felt himself coming far quicker than he would have liked. Her hand pressed over his mouth as he spilled into her and she held his gaze as she also came again, the soft cry muffled by her fingertips.

The image left him sweating and panting, even though it had been a slow burn and he rolled to the side satiated and content. The naked girl in his arms loved him and needed him and he couldn't think of a more perfect time to ask her.

"Marry me?" He said into the darkness, waiting for the tense and questioning _what_?

"Ok." Came the quick and easy reply and he let choked on air. Had he heard correctly? Had she really said yes?

"Really?" He sat up so fast that she almost rolled off the bed. She let out a squeak as he grabbed her, pulling her close.

"Yes!" She laughed, shaking her head. She could see the shock in his eyes and she reached to mess up his hair. It was the easiest decision she'd had to make in a long time. Steve made her happy. Steve liked what she liked. Steve cared about her. Steve saved her. Steve was the person who had slipped past her defences without her even realizing. He was the most decent man she'd ever met and even though he wasn't perfect, she knew he was perfect for her.

"I've wasted far too much of my life running from things that would be great for me." She murmured, dropping her hand to link their fingers together. "You make me happy. I think that's all I really need." Steve was up and out of bed before she could say another word, rummaging around in the clothes hamper for something. He triumphantly held his pants up in the air as he dug around in the pockets. "What on earth –" She gave a squeak as he landed back on her bed beside her, a swift kiss being pressed against her lips. His face was the epitome of happiness and she couldn't help but laugh.

"This was my mothers." He said, producing a light blue ring box from the pocket of the pants. "My parents didn't have much money but my father worked hard to buy her Tiffany's in 1917 for their engagement. It was the most expensive thing they'd ever owned." He smiled proudly, opening the box up for her to see. He reached behind him, fumbling to turn the lamp on and she gasped as the light caught the diamond in the ring. "I took it into Tiffany's and they cleaned it up for me… for you." He rambled, "I've had it in my effects for a long time but I didn't know how to ask you… I didn't think you'd say yes." Rory laughed as he pulled the ring out of the box with shaking fingers. He held her hand and pushed the ring onto her finger. He paused as it got tight. "Are you sure?" He asked, glancing at her with a very serious expression.

"I have never been more sure in my life." She nodded, pushing her hand forward to secure the ring in place. They both looked down at it in silence for a few moments before she laughed, falling back against him happily.

She held her hand up above them so the dim light caught the ring. It was beautiful and scary and exciting all at once. Rory stared at the single solitaire diamond on the thin, gold band, her heart in her throat. She had couldn't find the air to say the words she wanted. Her blood whooshed through her ears, drowning out everything else out. This was it. He was her ending and she couldn't be happier.

* * *

"What is _that_?!" It took Maggie less than 2 minutes over lunch the next day to notice the sparkling solitaire on her sisters finger. Rory gave a small smile and reached for the potatoes. The family was gathered for her birthday lunch, something they did every year, but this year there was something else to celebrate.

"What is what?" She asked innocently, glancing at Steve when he snorted.

"That. That big, sparkling thing on your –"

"Oh you proposed!" Peggy said loudly, causing everyone at the table to pause in their conversations and look at the couple. Steve reached for Rory's hand, gripping it tightly. She looked beautiful today, her hair down and her throat bare. She'd picked out a pretty, royal blue boat neck sweater to wear, The scar on her neck on display for her family to see. No one had commented but Steve had seen the tears well up in Peggy's eyes when she'd laid eyes on her granddaughter.

"You knew he was going to?" Rory blinked in surprise, glancing at Steve.

"He asked our permission weeks ago, sweetheart." Dugan grinned, reaching over to shake Steve's hand. The brothers did the same, while Maggie, Jo and Alison fussed over Rory's ring. "We were wondering when he was going to get around to asking."

"Well he did, late last night as we were falling asleep." She answered the question she knew Maggie would ask, leaving out the minor details of sex and nudity. Steve gave a small laugh, squeezing her hand.

"Seemed like the right time." He murmured.

"It's a beautiful ring, Steve." Maggie commented, kissing her sister on the cheek.

"Family heirloom. It was his mothers." Rory said proudly, looking t the ring as it caught the light from the lights overhead.

This had been her best birthday to date. She was out of hospital, her family was gathered and she was happy. So happy, that she was giving Tony's advice a shot and her throat and a part of her chest were exposed for the first time in a long time. She knew her family were looking, knew Grant had had to tell Cody not to stare, but she pushed through the anxious feeling in her stomach and grasped tightly to Steve's hand.

Her scars would not become her maker. She would own them and she would wear them as a badge of honor that only survivors were allowed.

"So have we thought about the big day at all?" Alison asked, grinning widely. Rory laughed, shaking her head.

"God damn Ali, it's not even been 48 hours." Grant rolled his eyes at his wife. "She doesn't even live with him yet."

"Oh that's the big question then: where are you guys going to live?" Maggie gasped, looking between the couple. "Rory doesn't like Brooklyn and you've tried Manhattan, Steve, and hated it…"

Rory looked at Steve and their eyes met. They hadn't really thought about where they were going to live at all. She figured that she would move into his home since she'd helped pick it and decorate it anyway… and Brooklyn wasn't _so_ bad. Slightly quieter and a stones throw away from the center of the city.

"Well, I guess it depends. We'll probably live in Brooklyn for a little while." She nodded slowly.

"You did pretty much decorate the place anyway." Steve laughed, bringing her hand up to his lips to kiss.

"I did… and you've been asking me to move in since you bought it." She agreed. "But I guess we'll have to move when we get told where the new SHIELD HQ is going to be."

Steve frowned. He'd been avoiding the subject of SHIELD for days. Even while she was still in hospital, she'd mentioned her job once or twice but he'd ignored it. Pretended like he hadn't heard. He didn't want to hear.

"We don't have to move for SHIELD. I'm happy to commute every day." He said, letting her hand go as he picked up his fork. He cleared his throat, glancing at Dugan, who's face had gone stony.

"What if they decide to make HQ in DC?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow. "You can't commute back and forth each day." She added shaking her head.

"Hey, D.C. isn't so bad either." Maggie cut in with a grin.

"Right, exactly…. And what if we get stationed on the West Coast? I know Clint's there at the moment establishing a branch. We may end up there." Rory continued, pointing at him with her own fork. Steve's head jerked around in surprise.

"Wait, _we_?" He asked. "What do you mean, _we_?" He asked. The table was silent and he didn't dare look around.

"I'm going back eventually." She shrugged. "So it doesn't make sense for us to stay in Brooklyn if we're working out of D.C. or L.A."

"Would they split the two of you up?" Jo asked, picking up Ava to burp the baby.

"Fury might, out of spite." Rory chuckled. "But I don't think so." She glanced at Steve, finding him decidedly quiet. "I hope not anyway." She gave a small smile when he met her eyes. There was a moment of silence, one that made her heart race. She knew what he was thinking, knew what was coming the second he opened his mouth but it shocked her anyway.

"You're not seriously going back are you?" Steve blurted out and Rory's eyes narrowed. He winced at her look.

"Why wouldn't I go back?" She asked, glancing around at her family. They were all busying themselves somehow. Jo was staring down at Baby Ava like the meaning of life was written on the infant's forehead, Grant and Tim were both looking down at their plates. Peggy was looking at the roof. None of them had an answer for her, except Steve.

"Because, why would you want to?" Steve replied and she looked at him in surprise. "It killed you."

"No, _Hydra_ killed me. I want in on bringing those bastards down." She corrected him, her voice deadly calm. She'd thought long and hard about what she was going to do with her life, now that she had a second chance. She didn't want to run from Hydra, even though the thought of going back to field terrified her, but she had a plan.

She would train hard every day, con Natasha and Clint to train her up to be something deadly so she would never, ever be helpless again. Hell, she half had her sights set on being something like an Avenger, and with the serum in her veins there wasn't exactly a lot saying she couldn't.

Except for Steve by the looks of it.

"Language, sweetheart." Dugan muttered from the head of the table. Rory glanced at him, finding him looking everywhere else but at her.

"Oh please, Pa." She scoffed. She glanced at her siblings, trying to find support there. "None of you think I should go back, do you?" She said finally, when no one said a word.

"I think you should think seriously about why you want to go back and if you even should." Peggy said quietly, her glass of wine held to her lips. Rory's brow wrinkled.

"I want to go back because it's my job. It's the only job I've had. It makes me feel like I'm worth something," She replied, swallowing hard.

"You know you're worth a hell of a lot more than a job, Sweetheart." Dugan replied and she scowled.

"It's so dangerous." Alison said softly and Rory looked at her.

"So is Grant's job." She reminded her. "You didn't tell him not to go back."

"Yes, she did." Grant spoke up. "She's why I changed divisions."

"But you still went back. Also, keep in mind that I'm a little more durable this time around…" Rory pointed out fiercely. She looked at Tim. He was the brother who always had her back. The one who would be there holding her hand if she wanted to do something crazy. He had to agree with her. "Tim… What do you think?"

Her other brother met her gaze but was silent while he thought.

"I think you should do what makes you happy." He said finally and Rory smiled.

"My job makes me happy." She agreed. "I can't let what happened to me make me afraid."

He met her eyes again and gave a nod, understanding where she was coming from. She smiled.

Steve's hand found hers under the table and he linked their fingers.

"No, you shouldn't… But I don't think you should go back into fieldwork. There has to be something else you can do."

"I won't go back into field right away, obviously –"

"Not ever." Dugan shook his head. "You shouldn't go back to SHIELD at all."

Rory's jaw tightened as she extracted her fingers from Steve's grasp.

"It's a good thing that these are just your opinions and I don't have to listen to them if I don't want to." She said stiffly, rising from her seat. It broke her heart to know that she wouldn't really have the support from her family, from Steve, when the time came for her to return to SHIELD. It would make everything that much harder but she was determined, so very determined, to do this.

She knew I was going to be a long road, that Nick wouldn't even think about taking her back for at least another 6 months… but to know they didn't think she should go back at all hurt more than she thought it would.

"Sweetheart, sit. Finish your lunch." Steve said as she walked around the table toward the door. Her ears were ringing and her hands were shaking but she refused to let them see how upset they'd made her.

"I'm full." She said softly, shaking her head before leaving the dining room. She paused outside the doors, gathering herself with a deep breath.

"She'll come round." She heard her Pa's gruff voice after a moment. "She's just stubborn."

"She is, which is why you know she's going to try to go back." Peggy reminded her husband. She heard Steve give a sigh, his fork clattering to the plate.

"You know this is her PTSD talking, don't you?" Grant said finally and she frowned, holding her breath. "I know what she's thinking, what she's feeling." He paused. "It makes you scared but she's not one to rest on that fear. She'll use it to her advantage and it may make her deadly."

"To herself, or others?" Maggie questioned in a worried voice. No one replied.

"Will Fury even let her back?" Steve asked finally. "I mean surely she won't pass the psych eval?"

Rory's fists tightened and tears stung her eyes. That was going to be the only thing letting her down. Trusting a psychiatrist after what the last one had done… She didn't want to do it but she would. Out of sheer determination, she would do it and pass and take her old job back.

"Not if I have anything to say about it." Dugan replied.

"I know I definitely won't pass mine." He said gruffly, and Rory scowled. He didn't need to pass his. He was an Avenger. They needed him.

"Alright, enough!" Alison said finally, clapping her hands. "No more talk of SHIELD. You've already chased away the birthday girl and now you're just bringing everyone down." There was a scrape as a chair backed up. Rory wiped her face and pushed away from the wall.

The tears were gone. She had no time to cry if she wanted to prove each and every one of them very wrong.

* * *

Author's Note:

So these chapters are a little later than usual because i'm rewriting them. Originally this whole chapter was cut and the story ended in differently. It's still ending the same way but this is going to make so much more sense.

Also to answer a few anon questions: There is no Winter Soldier in this story yet. This story is set in 2012 after the first Avengers movie. WS doesn't come into the equation until 2014 so be patient. There is a sequel for a reason!

No playlist today. I can't find my list. I'll tack it onto the next one.


	32. Season has Changed

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 32: Season has Changed

* * *

Returning to SHIELD wasn't mentioned again after her birthday. Everyone in the house avoided the subject, something that Rory was incredibly happy about. It was too close to Christmas for tension and for the first time in almost 10 years, all three Dugan siblings were home and together to put up the Christmas tree and spend the beloved holiday together. The living room seemed much smaller than she remembered, with two wives and two fiancé's joining them, plus the small army of children, but it was cozy and warm against the blanket of white that had fallen outside.

"Someone needs to pick me up so I can put the star on the tree!" Tucker declared loudly, once all ornaments had been distributed over the tree. Rory smiled as he looked hopefully at Steve. Steve, who was busy trying to tie a ribbon in Hannah's hair, missed the look completely.

"I think Captain America is needed, babe." She nudged Steve and he grinned as he scooped Tucker into his arms.

"Usually that's my job." Grant muttered from beside her and she elbowed him, rolling her eyes at her brother's almost jealous gaze.

"Let the kid have his hero moment." She laughed and Grant sighed, shaking his head. He turned to her, lifting his arm to rest it over her shoulders.

"He's had a hero moment for the last 2 months. Of course you had to outdo all of us and bring a superhero home." He ruffled his sisters' hair and she squeaked indignantly.

"Technically, Grandma did that first." Tim chimed in from the floor at their feet, earning a kick to the ribs from Rory.

"Something I don't need to be reminded about, thanks." She laughed, shaking her head. She tucked some hair over her ear, watching as Steve made Tucker 'fly' around the living room like Ironman, the kid screaming with laughter. Cody and Hannah followed them, begging Steve for their turn.

She'd always known he was great with kids, but she hadn't thought further than that when they weren't something serious. Now though, as the rock on her finger glinted with the promise of a family of her own, the sight of him with a flock of children was more than a little enticing.

"Hey, Roar?" Jo stepped in front of her, picking her way over ornament boxes with Ava in her hands. "Can you hold Ava while I go change Josh? Tim thought it would be a smart idea to give him chocolate and well…" She gestured over her shoulder to where the toddler was wiping chocolate into his hair and Rory laughed.

"You should make Tim do it," Rory suggested, holding her hands out for the tiny baby. She was so sweet and soft and beautiful. It took Rory's breath away each and every time she held her – which was as often as possible. She didn't know what had come over her but this baby was like a drug she just couldn't kick.

"I'm untangling Christmas lights." Tim held up the ball of lights that looked like an impossible task.

"It's ok. I'll get it done faster anyway." Jo sighed, turning away to scoop her son up. Rory tucked the baby into her body and looked down at her. She inhaled the sweet smell only babies had. It was a mixture of baby power, cream and something else that she could never quite pick but if she had to guess she'd say cocaine. It was a drug, such a sweet drug that she couldn't stop sniffing for the life of her.

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Her heart felt like it was about to burst.

She wondered what Steve's reaction would be if she brought up the idea of kids. Probably good, she couldn't imagine him saying no to having a family… but what he would say no to was her return to SHIELD. She couldn't be a mom and return to her job. It wouldn't be something he, or her family, would allow. Not without a damned big fight.

She shook herself, smiling. Kids weren't on their cards just yet anyway. She wanted to reestablish her life before she thought any further than that. Her job was the most important thing on her list, even though she would have to do that alone. But she would show them. She was ready for whatever SHIELD had to throw at her.

She looked up and around for Steve, realising the giggling had come to a minimum, and found him gone.

"Where'd Steve go?" She asked Grant, who grunted and looked up from his phone.

"I dunno? Kitchen?" He shrugged and nodded toward the door. Rory frowned. She wasn't used to him leaving a room without telling her. In fact, she wasn't used to him not being in the room. HIs hovering, while at a minimum, hadn't ceased completely. She got to her feet, being careful not to shift Ava too much, and wandered from the room.

He wasn't in the kitchen, or the dining room but she caught sight of his looming shadow in front of the window in formal living room and she knocked on the doorframe. He was standing and staring out at the white front lawn and street and it took him a moment to respond.

"I haven't seen snow this thick since Germany." He said as he turned to face her. His shoulders stiffened when he saw the baby still in her arms and his heart stopped. She looked like a damned natural and she almost could have been. It killed him not to talk to her about what he knew. He almost hated the sight of her with the baby in her arms. It made him sad and angry because it made him think about what could have been.

"I miss the Boston winters." She said as she walked toward him, joining him. "Did the kids get too much for you?" She asked, her shoulder brushing his. He automatically moved his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side.

"No, never. I just… wanted some quiet." He smiled. Truthfully he'd seen her gazing down at that baby and he'd wanted to put his fist through the wall. It wasn't fair that they could have had that. It was another thing Zemo had taken from them, one that they would never get back. Her smile was returning and so was her trust in the world, but they would never get that child back.

"You ok?" She asked and he looked down at her. Her warm eyes studied him, looking for some kind of answer in his expression, so he smiled. He couldn't give away the secret. Not yet. Not when she was doing so damn well. She was smiling again. There wasn't a dull look in her expression when she thought people weren't looking and most of all, her nightmares were getting fewer and far between. She was making progress and he didn't want to be the one to halt that.

"I'm good." He replied. "She's a good look on you." He managed to say, nodding down at the baby as he swallowed down his sorrow. He had to do this alone. He couldn't tell her now, so close to Christmas either. He didn't want to ruin the festive mood.

"She feels good." Rory said, a smile curling her lips into something magical. "I don't know if it was the near death experience or because I'm PMS-y as hell right now but I never felt this strongly about Cody, Tuck or Hannah. Josh maybe… But Ava… Ava is _beautiful_." She smiled serenely and inhaled. She closed her eyes and leant against Steve's shoulder. "It almost, _almost,_ makes me want one."

He tightened his grip.

"She really is." He agreed. This was torture, the feeling in his gut almost akin to what he'd felt at the hospital – _almost_. He just had to remind himself that they could have another baby one day. "So they're in your future then? _Ours._ Our future?" He stumbled over his words like a prat and he felt his cheeks flush red.

Rory laughed and looked up at him.

"You know, I didn't think there would be kids in my future for a very long time." She smiled, her gaze soft and loving. He met her gaze, an eyebrow rising playfully.

"Something change your mind?" He asked, his heart skipping a couple of beats.

"Yeah. Some jerky superhero saved my life. I think I fell in love with him before he did that though. Damned bastard's too charming for his own good." She answered with a wink. He huffed a loud laugh, making Ava squirm slightly. "He changed my mind about a lot of things, actually." She said softly after soothing Ava back to her half slumber. "So yes, I think that they are in _our_ future."

Steve dropped a kiss against her hair, smiling like a damned fool.

"I'm glad I did." He said, closing his eyes as he rested his chin where his lips had been

"Me too." She nodded. They stayed silent for the minute, enjoying the warmth and the solitude. "I think I'd want a boy first."

"A boy?" He asked in surprise. She was so attached to Ava, he thought a girl would have been her preference.

"I loved having an older brother. They make you feel safe." She answered and he smiled.

"So you want two?"

"Well I grew up in a house of four so I'm used to big families." She laughed. "But two is a good number."

"It is." He agreed. "I wouldn't mind a girl though. I always wanted a girl."

"So you could have a daddy's girl?" She asked, looking up at him.

"Something like that I guess." He grinned. "One that I could protect and cherish and teach how to kick boys asses." He laughed. The pain in his chest was dissipating as they talked about their future. What they could have had had been ripped from them, even though she didn't know, but they could try again. All wasn't lost and it made him happy to know they were thinking the same things.

Ava let out a squawk and Rory looked down. She looked back up with a wrinkled nose.

"I'm so glad I can give this one back." She said as the smell wafted up Steve's nose. He almost choked. That was foul. That was inhuman. That was the worst thing he'd ever smelled.

"Oh no." He moaned, covering his nose as he laughed. "Go take her back!" He gave Rory's shoulder a light shove and she trotted toward the door.

"I'm going! _JO_!" She called for her sister-in-law and Steve laughed as she disappeared. Maybe they weren't ready for the real thing just yet. They still had too much they wanted to do before it got to that. Thankfully, time was very much on their side and everything was looking better and better every single day.

* * *

"' _Where is Captain America_ _?' This is the question on everyone's lips right now after the Avengers were called in to take care of a crisis in downtown Chicago this morning and the nations own hero was missing once more. This is the second time in as many weeks the team has saved the day without him and sources are citing that he hasn't been seen publicly since Octobers' mutant riots in New York City which destroyed multiple buildings and left a few injured._

 _Ironman, Tony Stark, was cornered outside his midtown building to see if he could shed some light on the missing Super Soldier, but only had this to say:_

" _Cap? He's fine. We all have lives outside of this gig and he's been needed privately more than the team's needed him. He's left me in charge but he's ok and will be back soon."_

 _His on again, off again love Rachel Bilson has yet to comment but it does put an end to the rumors that he has been critically injured. Sources say he's been cited in Boston, Massachusetts but no proof has been linked with those claims…"_

Rory clicked the TV off when she heard Steve reenter the room. It was their first night back in Brooklyn, first night settling in and catching up on anything they had to do in their home. She was aching and tired from the move but now she was confused as to why the 'American Nation' was so worried about their main hero. She had no idea that he'd been shirking his responsibility for her and she hated to think he had chosen her over his team.

"I'm gonna order pizza because we have no food –"

"Why haven't you been fighting with The Avengers?" She asked, cutting off his food suggestion. She looked up at him, watching as he sat beside her, phone in his hand and ready to dial for pizza. He frowned.

"Because I've been needed elsewhere. I'm taking personal leave." He shrugged. "They're fine without me."

"But they're your team." She pointed out, frowning at his indifference. She knew what this was about. It was about her and her recovery and how he was so reluctant to leave her side.

"And you're my girl." He shifted to look at her, surprise colouring his beautiful jaw. "They were small missions and Tony handled them fine."

"You're their captain. They need you." She folded her arms. Guilt seeped into her gut. She was the reason he wasn't defending his team. She was the reason he wasn't out there doing what he was made to do.

"Hey, sweetheart, it's fine." He reached over, taking her chin between his fingers and turning her head to make her look at him. "If they'd been big missions I would have gone but they weren't. You're my priority right now –"

"You can leave me for a day, Steve!" She bit out, a little harsher than she'd intended. He recoiled, his hand dropping from her face to rest in his lap.

"I know, but I'm taking leave." He insisted again, looking at his hands. Annoyance bubbled up within her.

"Why!?" She exclaimed. "You're fine! You can go and do things. You're not recovering!" She couldn't stop the frustration and hysteria in her voice. It had been months since she'd been able to do anything, months since she's been able to even go and take a walk. Steve could do that. He could leave whenever he wanted, he could take a walk or a run or go save the world. He could –

"Yes I am." His soft voice made her pause in her thoughts. She met his gaze her eyes as sharp as his expression was defeated. She'd seen him look like that only once before, right when she'd first met him and he was still coming to terms with being a man out of time. It seemed like so long ago, it shocked her for a brief moment to think it was only a little over 10 months since that time.

"I am recovering too. Maybe not physically but you were used against me, Aurora. Iwatched you being tortured for hours, completely _helpless_ , and then I watched you _die_." He sucked in a deep breath and looked away from her. His fists clenched and unclenched on his knees. "I honestly don't want to go back to all of that right now. I don't want to leave you because the last time I did… you got hurt." He gave a grim smile, picking at some skin on his hands.

Rory's mouth snapped shut. He was struggling as badly as she was. People had tried to tell her that he was in a bad way too but she hadn't believed it because she hadn't seen it. He'd kept this from her and it made her angry and frustrated.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asked, running a hand through her hair.

"Because, you have enough to deal with right now. Your recovery is more important." He shrugged. She narrowed her eyes.

"That's a damned lie." She snarled, springing to her feet, ready to run. This wasn't an argument she wanted to have but she couldn't stop the words from pushing past her lips. "I am not important enough for you to let the team down."

Steve was up on his feet in a flash, his hands balled up at his sides. "Don't you tell me what I can and can't think is important, Aurora." He said, his eyes blazing as he stood in front of her, blocking her exit. "My job is to protect the one thing I can't live without and that is _you_."

He pointed his finger at her and even though he didn't physically touch her, the breath left her lungs like he had. It was one thing for him to think that about her but another to say it out loud. She knew he loved her but to know it was so consuming and complete shocked her down to her core. He continued after a long beat of silence.

"And you know what I really want right now? I really want to walk away from SHIELD. Just quit and start a life with you away from it all." His voice lost some ferocity, as did his eyes but and she knew he still meant every single word. He took her hands, pulling her close to him. "Let's just leave, please. We'll pack up, move to Boston, start a family… be normal for once in our damned lives –"

"You're a genetically engineered super soldier, Steve. You're never going to _be_ normal." She shook her head but she didn't pull away. The thought of just the two of them living a happy, suburban life was tempting. It was a picture she'd never given serious thought to in recent years but it seemed to come easily to her now. But she couldn't do it. Not yet anyway. She had to go back to SHIELD to prove to herself that she could. "I can't walk away from SHIELD. Not yet. I need to know I can go back." She added softly, pulling away from him. "I need to know I'm not the weak link that I think I am."

"You're not a weak link, sweetheart." Steve shook his head. "No one would think less of you for walking away."

Rory sighed. He didn't get it. He didn't understand why it was important to her to face her fears. She was terrified to be reapplying. Fury had damn near laughed her off the phone when she'd rung him…but he'd conceded and had sent her the forms she needed to fill out to come off her leave. They were currently hidden away in the bottom of her handbag just waiting to be opened and filled in.

She had to do this and then she would consider leaving it all behind to be with Steve and start their family. She had to do it for her own piece of mind.

She pulled away from him completely then, tucking her hair over her ears as she picked up the phone.

"I would think less of me." She murmured as she dialed the number to their favorite Italian place three blocks away. She didn't hear what Steve said after that as she walked up to their bedroom to start sorting out where she was going to put her things when she eventually got them from Stark Tower.

She still hadn't been back yet. Every time she thought about it she felt a sick sense of dread in her stomach. Zemo taken her from that building. He had walked right in and snatched her away. She knew Tony had fixed the security and she knew it hadn't been his fault, but the memory was still fresh enough that her ears rang and her chest constricted and she could tell herself all she wanted that she wasn't panicking – but she was.

But she was going to force herself to go because she had to. She didn't want Zemo to win.

She got her chance to step foot in Stark Tower on New Years Eve, when Tony invited them to a party in his penthouse to celebrate the arrival of 2013. Both she and Steve had been surprised that it was as small as it was. There were no media, no outsiders. There weren't even barmen or caterers. It was just their group of friends, sitting and enjoying each other's company.

"So how _are_ you doing?" Beth asked as they sat with Natasha and Sharon watching a loud game of pool where Arthur was having his ass kicked by Clint.

"I'm good." She nodded, leaning back in her seat with her drink in her hand. "Better than I thought I would be." She smiled honestly, glancing around the room for Steve. She found him across the room on the sofa, having an intense discussion with Darcy and Thor, where the woman was gesturing wildly around and imitating something that was making the Thunder God turn bright red. She'd noticed Steve hadn't been hovering much that night and she wondered if it were intentional or if he felt safe enough to let her do her own thing. She was glad whichever way the answer fell. It was nice to catch up with her friends and gossip without Steve listening in.

"How so?" Beth asked, a slender eyebrow rising high.

Rory waved her hand, trying not to make a big deal about what was bothering her.

"I had a bit of anxiety coming back to Stark Tower. I mean, this was where I was taken…It was kinda hard not to remember that." Beth's expression was sympathetic and she reached for her friends' hand. Rory squeezed back, smiling lightly.

"Tony's upgraded the system because of it." Natasha said over her shoulder, her eyes not leaving the game. "Kicked all of SHIELD out of here. It's safe now."

"Yeah, I know." Rory nodded, bringing her drink to her lips again. She was silent for a few moments, wondering if her friends shared the same sentiments as Steve about her returning to her job. "Do they know where the new HQ is going to be?" Rory asked subtly, trying not to seem too interested. Natasha did look at her then, smirking lightly.

"D.C. most likely. They'll have offices here in New York but D.C. is where they started. There are big upgrades going on at the Triskellion to accommodate it." She explained. She brought her drink up to her lips and sipped. "Are you joining us any time soon?"

The way she asked made Rory wonder if Steve had spoken to Natasha about his displeasure at her continuing on with her job and she wasn't quite sure which side of the line Natasha fell. Clint had already forbidden it; within two seconds of seeing her he'd shaken his head and had told her to not come back. She was a little mad at him but she knew he meant well. Arthur hadn't said a word about it yet but he knew she wanted too as well. It was only a matter of time before he expressed his displeasure.

"I'm hoping to, yeah." Rory nodded, a little uncertainly. Sharon grinned.

"Good." The blonde elbowed Rory. "I'd be so disappointed if you weren't coming back." Rory laughed lightly, running a hand through her hair.

"Had grandma spoken to you?" She asked and Sharon snorted.

"Yeah she has and she makes good points…" The blonde turned to Rory then and shrugged. "But I also told her that running away from a problem was not what she raised you to do and you needed to see this through to the end."

"I would have thought the end was when she survived?" Beth interjected, a look of confusion on her face. Sharon shook her head.

"You fall off your horse, you don't end your ride then and there and never go back. You gotta get back on sooner or later to prove you still can." She explained and Rory smiled. She had just put how she was feeling into words.

"Well hopefully it's later, right?" Beth looked at Rory, worry still in her gaze.

"As soon as Nick will let me." She sighed. She'd had one phone call with Nick Fury about returning and all he'd done was laugh. It wasn't a no, he hadn't exactly been surprised to hear her voice so soon, but it wasn't a yes either.

" _There are protocols, Dugan_." He'd told her and she'd told him she was aware.

" _I will do anything to be reinstated, Nick."_ Had been her reply and it was the God's honest truth. She would get through her psych eval even if it killed her on the inside.

"You fall off a horse and break your spine, you go back when you're ready." Natasha said sagely from beside her. "Make sure you're ready." The Russian wasn't looking at her when she said this, but Rory knew she was deadly serious. The Assassin would refuse to train her if she thought she wasn't ready, that much was evident.

It was just one more thing on the list of things she had to do to prove her worth and she was more determined than ever to do it. The bigger the list grew the less scared she was and the sheer will to win overcame her. For a brief moment she wondered if she was being reckless, whether she was really ready to push herself so hard, but she pushed it aside and promised herself that she would only focus on success.

* * *

"Steve?" Rory called through the house as she arrived back from her first shopping trip without him in mid January. It had been strange not to have her tall and handsome shadow following her every move but it had been nice to spend time with her friends. Truthfully, she knew she'd only been allowed to go without a fuss from Steve because Natasha and Sharon were going, but she didn't care.

It had been a normal day for once, something she'd been trying to achieve for a while, and although there was a moment when Darcy had said something about slicing her finger and it made them all look at Rory, they treated her like they always had. It had been a much needed day out but she was happy to be back home with her little family.

She shrugged out of her jacket as Bis came skidding over to greet her. She placed her many shopping bags by the stairs and ruffled his fur, grinning down at her beloved pet. She was so glad that Steve had agreed they should bring the dog with them. She'd lived too long without him and she liked the extra safety the dog bought.

"Steve?" She called again when she garnered no response from him. The house was silent and she listened out for any sound that might tell her he was here. Anxiety formed like a ball in her stomach when he didn't respond again. Where was he? He'd said he'd be home and if he'd gone out he would have called. " _Steve_?!" She was reaching for her phone, and her gun, when he called out to her.

"Kitchen!"

She found herself letting out a small breath of relief. She hated to be alone, even though the security in the house had been upgraded with the best Stark Tech and she was perfectly safe when she was inside. She was still slightly paranoid that someone was going to try and take revenge on her that if something unexpected happened, or didn't happen.

She picked up the paper bag with dinner in it and walked through to the kitchen. She had plans for the night, to thank him for letting her do what she wanted without a fuss. She'd brought them home dinner, Steve's favorite Chinese from the corner, and she had a nice new Victoria's Secrets number picked out for later. So she was not going to let her anxiety ruin the night.

"I brought dinner." She announced as she entered, seeing his broad shoulders studying something on the counter. "I got that Hianese chicken you like, with the crunchy noodle."

"Sounds great." He answered off handedly, still looking down at the papers on the counter and she frowned slightly. She couldn't remember the last time he hadn't swept her up in a ridiculous hug when she'd entered a room. In fact, this was the longest he'd gone without touching her in about 4 months and she'd been out all day. Maybe he was mad she'd gone out?

She placed the food on the counter beside him, glancing at what he was reading. She figured it had to be a new mission brief but when she looked closer she saw it was something of hers and his steely attitude suddenly made sense.

"What are these?" Steve asked in a soft voice as he turned to look at her.

Rory kept her face neutral, not wanting to start a fight. She thought she'd put them away when she'd left that morning but apparently she hadn't and she cursed internally at her clumsiness.

"Reinstatement papers." She replied casually, pulling food out of the bag. "I got spring rolls too." She smiled at him. He didn't return it. His eyebrow rose and he glanced at the papers in his hand.

"Don't you think we should talk about this?" He asked and she let out a small sigh, pausing as she tried to think of what to say next. She had tried to talk to him about it but the reaction was always the same: a flat and outright no with him telling her they should just leave together. He didn't listen when she tried to explain why she wanted to go back so she'd given up and gone ahead with her plans without him.

She didn't even know if she'd get back in and it made her anxious to think about it. A big part of reinstatement was a psychological evaluation and considering the person who had helped fuck her over had been her psychiatrist, she would probably fail that part of the test.

But she still wanted to try. She wasn't a quitter. She felt like Zemo would win if she never went back and she couldn't let herself do that.

"We have tried to talk about it, Steve." She said softly, glancing up at his disappointed gaze. "You didn't listen to me –"

"So you went ahead anyway?" He asked, picking up the papers she'd faxed off to Fury that morning and waving them at her. "Aurora this is… this is something we seriously need to talk about." He looked back at her and she could see one hundred and one emotions swirling over his features. He looked back at the page, silently reading the words he found there.

"It's not. Your answer has been a flat no for a long time now, I don't see that changing." She took them from him gently, feeling him tighten his grip.

"You're damned right it hasn't changed." He agreed, his mouth a thin line.

Rory could see the night she'd planned unraveling fast and she let go of the paper work. She turned away from him, intending on disappearing to avoid a fight but he followed. "Why do you even want to go back? You almost _died_ because of that job… I don't understand why –"

"Because I have to!" She exclaimed, spinning on her heel and finding him right behind her. "Because I have to Steve and yes, I did almost die but so did you and you still work for them." She pointed out. He opened his mouth but she continued over him. "I've tried to explain this to you, dozens of times. I am _not_ a quitter. I can't just walk away from this. I don't know what part of this you don't get!"

"All of it!" He exclaimed, balling the papers up in his fists. " _All_ of it. You're not quitting. You were forced out. You're putting yourself in avoidable danger!"

"You say that like I can't do anything." She said coolly and he winced.

"I didn't mean it like that." He shook his head. She folded her arms. If he wanted a fight over this than he would get one. She'd tried to walk away but he'd followed. He'd pushed and now she was mad.

"It's my job to know how to avoid danger. I threw a big portion of my life into training and learning and aiming for the best, Steve, and –"

"And you did that. You were one of the best. You don't need to do it anymore." He argued and she grit her teeth.

"Don't you _dare_ patronise me by telling me I was one of the best." She snarled. "I was far from it but I tried anyway. I won't let one small thing –"

"For Christ sake Aurora, you _died!_ That isn't a small thing!"

"But I didn't die! I'm still here, standing in front of you. Breathing, and talking and moving!" She waved her arms. She gave a shake of her head. "I'm all healed up now Steve and I'm bored! I want to go back."

"So find something else! I'm sure there are other things you can do." He pointed out and she scowled.

"I don't have anything else to do with my life, Steve." She shrugged. "I joined SHIELD to be strong, to prove that I could do things… that I wasn't a waste of space."

"And you proved that. You don't need to prove that to me." Steve shook his head and Rory frowned. "Find a hobby. Go back to school and finish psychology! Find a new job!" He reached for her, pulling her into him and she could see the desperation in his eyes but she pulled away.

"This isn't about proving anything to you, Steve!" She exclaimed, exasperated that he would be missing the point yet again. "I need to prove this to myself." She looked at him then, realizing that he would never understand that because he didn't want to. "If you can't see that then so be it. I will be going back to SHIELD as soon as I can." She took a deep breath through her nose before she turned from him. She was sick of this argument. All they were doing was going around in circles, repeating the same tired words that upset them both.

His hands shot out and clasped around her arm. He turned her back to him.

"Hey what –"

"You died _in_ my arms. You stopped breathing, _in my arms_." He gave a shudder and she could see his airtight control slipping. She'd pushed him to this. He'd kept such a tight clamp on his own internal grief while she'd been recovering but now it was fading rapidly before her eyes. "Please don't go back." He said softly, his shoulders slumping. He pulled her into him, holding her tightly in a crushing embrace. She felt him take a few very deep breaths. "I can't stand to lose you again, doll. I can't do it."

Guilt burned Rory's throat as she rested against him. She knew what this meant to him, knew how much he detested the idea of her going back… She felt like the most awful person in the world because she was breaking his heart with her decision but she couldn't let her own beliefs be pushed to the side. She wouldn't do that for anybody ever again.

She placed a hand on his waist, lifting her head so she could look up at him. She rose on her toes, pressing her lips to his to show him how very much alive she was. She loved him wholeheartedly but she couldn't do what he wanted. She wouldn't.

"You didn't lose me and you won't lose me again." She said, her hand coming up to cup his jaw.

Her fingers scratched over the coarse beard that was on his cheeks.

"I was covered in your blood. I have never felt fear like that in my entire life." He stopped himself short. God his heart was racing as the memories flooded through him. His hands shook and he pressed his face into her hand and closed his eyes.

Having her go out on her own had been a very tough experience for Steve. He'd paced through their home all day, trying to keep as busy as he could. He'd taken Biscuit for a walk for a few hours, until he'd had to carry the dog home because he'd tired the poor thing out but it hadn't been enough.

He was terrified. Well and truly terrified that she was serious about reinstating her position within SHIELD. He hadn't meant to find the papers. He'd been looking in the desk drawer for the manual to the coffee maker and had stumbled upon them. He'd been unable to stop looking at them when he'd read the words _Application for Reinstatement_.

He felt sick. He knew she could handle herself. He knew that she had been on some very dangerous and very successful missions during her time at SHIELD but all he could see was the image of her strapped to a gurney while that monster cut her open and then slashed her throat.

Sometimes at night he could still feel the warmth of her blood as it soaked through his suit and he could hear the choked gargling noise she made as she died.

He had only felt fear like this in his life once before, a very long time ago on a train through the Bavarian alps.

"Once." He said softly when she didn't say anything to him. "I've felt fear like that once before, and that was when I watched Bucky fall." His throat was tight as he dredged up those memories from the past as well. She had become to him what Bucky had been. She was his rock and protector and he was hers. He couldn't go through that again, not with her. He met her sad gaze head on and took a deep breath. "I won't do that again. I won't watch something happen to you. You're not going back to SHIELD."

Even as the words left his mouth and her expression hardened he knew he'd made a choice that would effect them for the rest of their lives, but he was a desperate man and she was his world.

"I'm _not_ going back to SHIELD?" She cleared her throat, dropping her hands to her side. "Gee, Captain. That sounds very much like an _order_." She said coolly. He thought for a moment before nodding.

"Yes. It is." He agreed, squaring his shoulders and looking at a point above her head. "You won't go back to SHIELD. I guess that is an order." A look of total surprise crossed her face before rage boiled beneath the surface.

"Who the hell are you to tell me what I can and can't do, Steve?" Rory's face screwed up in furious confusion and she poked him in the chest. "I will do as I damn well please and –"

"I'm your fiancé." He snapped back at her, grabbing her left hand. He wrenched it up so it was between both of their eyes. The ring glinted in the light. "I don't want you anywhere near anything or anyone that could hurt you again." He shook his head. "You _died_ and I watched. Why is it so hard for you to understand that I can't do that again? It would kill me, Aurora. Literally kill me."

He was yelling at her now and although the desperation in his words was evident, she'd had enough. She snatched her hand from him hard enough to hurt her fingers but she ignored the pain.

"And it will literally kill me to spend my life running from one little thing." She turned around and walked to the door. "Don't try and control me. Fiancé or not I am my own person and I make my own choices."

"Then don't make dumb choices!" He exclaimed, watching her from his spot in the doorway. It was too late to apologize now, too late to go back on his words. She was mad as hell and nothing he could say would make her stop walking.

"It is not dumb!" She yelled back at him. "It is my life, it is something that I don't want to be afraid of. Don't you get it, Steve? I don't want to run away because if I do I will _always_ be afraid."

"And if you go, I will _always_ be afraid of losing you." He hadn't yelled that at her but she wished she had. He looked so lost and forlorn now and it was tearing her apart. She needed to go back to SHIELD but she knew they wouldn't survive that. She had to figure out a compromise and she wasn't sure what that was yet.

She opened the front door behind her and stared at him for a long, hard moment. "I don't even know if I can be reinstated yet, but if I _do_ you're just going to have to trust that I will be ok." She grabbed her keys and ticked her phone into her pocket.

"Where are you going?" Steve asked, his eyes wide.

"Out. I'll be back later I just… I can't be around you right now." She said softly before closing the door behind her.

She made it to halfway down the block before she burst into tears and tugged out her phone, calling for Beth.

"Hey," She sniffed when her friend answered.

" _Hey, what's the matter? You sound sick."_

"Steve and I had a fight. Can I come to you for a while?" She glanced behind her, half expecting Steve to have followed her.

" _Shit, yeah of course. Where are you?"_

"Brooklyn. I don't have my car so –"

" _I'll be there in 15._ " She could hear her friend scrambling to grab her keys and Rory smiled.

"I'll be at the Starbucks on Montague St." She told Beth before she hung up. She tucked her head against the evening air and started walking toward her destination. She didn't know what they were going to do, her and Steve, but they needed to work it out fast or this was all going to fall apart.

Back in the house Steve agonized over whether or not he wanted to follow her. He was being an ass. He knew that he was pushing her away but he was scared and she wasn't listening.

Finally he turned away from the door, deciding to let her deal with this on her own. His hand caught the vase on the side table and he knocked it off. He reached out to grab it before it fell but changed his mind, picking it up and hurtling it against the wall opposite. It shattered on impact, the pieces and flowers exploding in a wide array of colour and noise.

It felt good to break something, to have something tangible to represent how completely shattered he was.

Bis pushed his nose into Steve's hand, giving a soft whine.

"She'll be ok." He told the dog, reassuring himself more than anyone else. "She'll be fine." He walked back into the kitchen and fixed himself a bowl of the food she'd brought home.

His phone beeped on the counter beside him as he ate and he picked it up, hoping it was Aurora.

 _Text From: Beth Jones  
Just letting you know  
Rory is with me.  
Don't stress,  
She's safe._

She'd gone to Beth's and that made him feel slightly better. He shot of a quick thank you and said he was sorry. Rory would confide in her friend he knew and he didn't want to be the bad guy.

Bis whined again and he took himself and the dog into the living room. He turned to TV on but didn't watch it as he waited for Aurora to come home.

* * *

Author's Note: I am _so_ sorry this is so late. Christmas + retail working = bad time of the year. I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to stop and edit and there were some things that needed changing. Because of this, I now have a twitter so I can keep people updated as to when the next bit is coming: raeisawriter is my handle so go find me and give me some love.

Speaking of love - if you like this please tell me! Comment, share around, tell your friends. Every little bit helps me. I do enjoy theories and criticism (nice and civil criticism please). I usually reply within a couple of days too.

Thanks for reading, this is coming to a close very soon and hopefully the next chapter won't be too far behind this one! Til then, Rae

Playlist:

The Ice is Getting Thinner - Death Cab for Cutie

Love the Way You Lie - Eminem, Rhianna

Love the Way You Lie Pt2 - Rhianna, Eminem

Tongue Tied July - Michael Brun, Roy English


	33. Hellfire

The Mess That We'll Become

Chapter 33: Hellfire

* * *

Steve's body was stiff and sore as he drove his fist harder and harder into the punching bag hanging from the beam in his gym. He'd only been there an hour but his fatigue stemmed from this being the third time in a matter of days that he'd needed to take out some frustration away from home.

He and Aurora were having another argument. She'd walked out on him again and he hadn't wanted to be home when she got back. It was always about the same thing – SHIELD and her place within the agency. He didn't know what else to do. He knew she was going behind his back over things but he couldn't bring himself to support her decision. It was a stupid decision, a dangerous one… He was terrified at the thought of her going back…

The chain the bag hung from creaked in protest and he let up slightly, letting his fists rest on the bag and his shoulders heaved from the excursion. He couldn't back down from this but if he didn't he was worried about their future. He was worried that she would leave him, or that she would get hurt and he wouldn't ever know what had happened.

He was stuck in a complex situation of knowing exactly what his fiancé was going through, but also not. She was a loaded gun and he was playing Russian Roulette, never knowing what would set off an argument. Today had been because he'd simply wondered if she wanted company to the city. She'd snarled at him that she didn't need an escort but hadn't wanted to listen when he'd tried to explain that he just wanted to spend the day with her. It had quickly turned into his refusal to not let her join SHIELD and then she'd left. She always left and he never went after her, knowing better than to follow the already lit fuse. He always received a message from someone telling him she'd made it to them safely. Today had been Pepper and he knew she was at Stark Tower if he needed to find her.

But he didn't want to find her. He didn't want to talk to her right now. He loved her so damn much but he was frustrated and angry and plain hurt. He knew logically how he'd feel in her position, how he would want to throw himself back to prove his worth; but that didn't change how he felt about her going back.

It was a rock and a hard place that he was wedge firmly between and he had no idea what he wanted to do.

Behind him the doors of the gym opened and he straightened with wary surprise. He hadn't been expecting anyone to stop by today. As far as he knew there were no training sessions with his teammates and he'd thought he'd be alone.

Clint lifted a hand in a wave as he walked in, dressed in his regular workout clothes, a form fitted black shirt and baggy shorts. Steve was surprised to see Tony behind him, also dressed to work out. He was carrying a water bottle filled with what looked like motor oil and the hood of his sweatshirt was pulled over his head.

"Hey Cap, hope we're not disturbing your work out." Clint said as he drew near. He dropped a bag on the metal benches that ran alongside the boxing ring. "Figured you might be here."

"Yeah, I'm here." Steve sighed, slapping his hand against the punching bag. "Surprised you are though." He raised an eyebrow and nodded toward Tony.

Stark feigned hurt shock, his hand going to his chest.

"Uhm, rude. I'm a: only here because your wife is currently sitting in my living room, steamed as hell and grumbling to _my_ wife about you and I was also in the firing line – "

"Not my wife –"

" – Since when are you married, Stark?"

"And _b:_ " Tony continued, ignoring both his team mates, "fuck you. I work out. Do you know how much that suit weighs? The answer is a lot so yeah, I work out." Tony rolled his eyes and took a drink from the water bottle. Steve gave a small laugh.

"Well I'm sorry my _wife_ is disturbing your peace at home." He sighed. "What's she complaining about?" He asked, exchanging a look with Clint. The archer looked sympathetic and Steve figured it mustn't have been good.

"Oh this and that. You guys are fighting again, you're an ass whose controlling her life, something something SHIELD… I try not to listen, honestly." Tony shrugged, picking some invisible lint off his pants. Steve pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah that's what it normally is." He muttered.

"Trouble in paradise, buddy?" Tony asked and Steve looked between him and Clint warily. He hadn't talked to anyone about the problems he and Aurora were having. He hadn't known how. Aurora was the one who he spoke to about everything, but he couldn't when she was the cause.

"I asked if she wanted company to the city today and she hit the roof." He explained, looking down at his hands. "I was asking because we haven't done anything in a while but she took it as a –"

"I don't trust you to go alone." Clint finished and Steve nodded. "That's rough."

"Yeah. Then it escalated and she may have made the comment that I never let her do anything on her own anymore and I control her and she didn't like what I had to say in response."

"Which was?" Tony prompted and Steve got the impression that he was excited by the prospect of not being the only bad boyfriend who says stupid things.

"That the last time I let her go by herself she ended up cut up in front of me." He replied, grimacing. Clint let out a huff and Tony actually laughed.

"Shit Cap, welcome to the foot-in-mouth club." The archer responded, stretching his back and cracking his neck. "Not the last time you'll say something dumb I can promise you."

"You would know." Tony muttered. "I'm actually a little impressed with that one though." He grinned at Steve. "No wonder she was steamed."

"She was steamed before that. She lost her temper first." Steve defended himself pathetically. "I just don't know what to do anymore."

"Ride it out. It's her PTSD." Clint shrugged. "Just be glad she's not an ex-KGB assassin who could literally kill you without you ever seeing her." He smiled before clapping his hands. "Alright, we won't disturb you anymore. C'mon Stark, you wanted to train with the big boys. Get in the ring." Clint clapped his hands, looking far too happy at the prospect of kicking the crap out of Tony.

Steve turned back to his punching bag but turned back a few minutes later to watch the spectacle in the ring. He was actually surprised to find that Tony wasn't too bad and when he said so Tony informed him that after he'd been taken he forced himself to take up several different forms of martial arts so he at least knew how to get himself out of a situation.

Steve was impressed.

He leant his arms over the bottom rope and watched Clint run the billionaire through a series of drills, each one different to the next.

"You know, Cap." Clint grunted out after a couple of drills, glancing at his friend. "Maybe you should just let Rory re-join SHIELD." He shrugged, ducking as Tony swing wide to the left. Steve clenched his jaw, shaking his head.

"I can't. She can't. It's too dangerous." He said, shrugging a shoulder. "We fight all the time about it but I can't let her go." He added.

"Maybe you need to. Fury is hardly going to give her a mission right off the bat, right? I mean, he can't. She's still got psych evals and shit to pass," Clint continued. Steve nodded in response, taking a drag from his waterbottle. "So to avoid the arguments, just let her go back? She'll probably have to suffer through desk work anyway." Clint shrugged.

Steve paused for a moment, gripping the rope tightly in a fist. Clint had a point. As far as he knew, Aurora hadn't done any psych evaluations yet. He didn't think she would pass and if she _did_ there would be restrictions. Fieldwork wouldn't be on the cards for a little while and he knew how much she hated desk duty. Hell, she hated it so much she may just quit anyway.

He was so sick of fighting with her that it was very tempting to put the theory to the test.

"How do you deal with Nat being out in field, after everything you have been through?" Steve asked, watching as Clint's concentration slipped slightly and Tony landed a punch to his ribs. He countered with a clip around the head and a foot to the back of Tony's knee, which sent him sprawling. Swearing, he lay flat on his back at the archer's feet.

Clint ran a hand over his face, running it through his sweaty hair to make the sandy blonde mess stick up at odd angles as he thought about what to say next.

"Aside from knowing that I would literally be a dead man and that no one would ever find my body if I told her she couldn't?" Clint grinned and shrugged. "I trust Nat to know her limits." He replied simply. Steve felt guilty. Did he really not trust Aurora to know when to stop? "Saying that though, Nat's never been used against me quite in the way Rory was used against you." Clint added quietly. "I've never had to watch her be hurt so vividly in front of my eyes so I feel my answer would be slightly different if that were the case."

Steve's shoulders slumped and he walked over to his bag. He had no idea what to do but he couldn't keep fighting with her. They were miserable more than they were happy these days. He knew it would pass and it in no way changed how he felt about her – but it was wearing on him. It was wearing on both of them.

"I know Aurora knows her stuff. I know she can protect herself… but every time I think about her going back into field without me I –"

"Lose your shit." Tony supplied as he got to his feet and Steve fixed him with a narrow-eyed gaze. Tony held up his hands. "Hey, I don't blame you. Aurora is the little sister I never had nor wanted but got anyway. I don't want her to go back either but if she does I don't want her to do it behind our backs."

"Stark has a point Steve. You tell her a flat no and she will do it anyway, you know it." Clint agreed with Tony and Steve let out a frustrated groan.

Talking to Clint and Tony was both helping him and confusing him more. He didn't know what to do.

She'd already gone behind his back to get the ball rolling. She knew he hated the idea so she didn't talk to him about it. Her chances of getting hurt were higher because he didn't know what she was doing but if he just accepted it and let her do what she needed to he would be there to help her if she needed it.

The sound of the door opening made the three men pause and turn and beyond them, Steve saw the woman in question walk into the gym. Her headphones were in her ears and he could hear the music blasting from where he stood. She glanced at the three men, her gaze quickly sliding right by Steve when it fell on him.

"Speak of the devil." Clint smiled, waving his hand.

Rory pulled an earbud out.

"What?"

"You look out of shape." Clint winked, changing his words and she flipped him off, her lips lifting in a small smile. He signed something to her with fast hands and she rolled her eyes as she signed something back. Clint laughed, sliding out from under the ropes, leaving Steve confused about what had been said. "Well we should probably be off. As fun as it is kicking Tony's ass, I think he's tenderized for the day."

"Hey! You didn't beat me up that bad." Tony countered indignantly, slipping from the ring behind Clint. "I got some hits in too."

"Yeah, actually I'm surprised. You're pretty good." Clint nodded, gathering his bag quickly. He and Tony were out the door before Steve could even blink, leaving him alone in the gym with his still-pissed fiancée.

Steve let out a sigh as Rory started to stretch by the treadmills. He had another round on the bag to go and then he'd leave her be. She obviously wasn't talking to him yet and he would much rather be at home if she wanted to use this space. He hated the silent treatment but his pride kept him from breaking the silence first.

By the time he'd finished that, she was slowing down on the treadmill, ready to move onto whatever was next. He gathered his bag, waiting for her to say something but knowing she –

"Clint's right." Her voice carried easily and his back stiffened in surprise. He was sure he was in for the silent treatment for at least another 2 hours. "I am out of shape."

He glanced at her over his shoulder at her, wondering if she really was talking to him. He found her looking right at him, her water bottle in her hand and she was fiddling with the cap.

"You'll get it back." He assured her, zipping the bag up. A couple of words were better than nothing, he thought as he slung it over his shoulder. He was still going to leave. He didn't want to push his –

"Did you… want to train? Together, I mean. I need someone to kick my ass back into shape." Her voice was small but hopeful and he turned to look at her.

"Is this an excuse to hit me?" He asked dryly, still not wanting to forgive her for lashing out at him.

"No." She shook her head. "But I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to use it as an excuse to hit me. I haven't exactly been the nicest person to you lately." Steve let out a huff of agreement and she sighed. "I just… need the help but if you have somewhere else to be –"

"It's fine." Steve waved a hand, cutting off her rambling. This was about as close to an apology as he was going to get right now and he'd take what he could get… and she did need the help. It had been almost 3 months without any form of training and she would be lacking. If she was going to join SHIELD again she had to be on top of her game to reduce her risk of injury or worse.

They climbed into the ring together and met in the middle.

"It's been a while since we've gone a couple rounds." He said as he stretched his arms across his chest. She smiled back, her hands fiddling with her hair to make it nice and secure.

"Is it too much to ask you to go easy on me?" She asked in a falsely sweet voice. He knew better than to fall for it. He cracked his neck and shook his head.

"I don't think you want me to go easy." He grinned and was met with a shake of her head. "but –"

"Never. I can take it." She said seriously. Steve laughed again, holding up a hand as continued.

"Maybe we should run through some drills to start with." He suggested, knowing she was going to push too hard. "It's been a while since you've done any kind of fighting and your knee isn't – oughfff." The wind was knocked out of him as she launched herself across the ring, her feet quick and nimble, her fist and elbow catching him in the gut. He caught her second in-coming elbow easily and deflecting it with a quick palm. He grabbed her ankle as it came up and tossed it aside, hoping to throw her off balance.

She stumbled, her knee giving way and he waited for her to turn.

"You good?"

She grunted in response, nodding just once as she readied herself again. Steve cleared his throat.

"M'fine." She sighed, meeting his gaze fiercely as if he'd insulted her outright.

"Are you hurt?" He asked, his eyebrows rising with the question. Her knee was a weak point that she hadn't been anticipating. She needed to watch it or she'd reinjure it.

"No." She scowled, giving a quick shake of her head before starting once more.

She drove forward in her attack again, her fists and feet fast even though her technique was a little off. Her right side was slower, her knee not quite keeping up and she'd changed her kicks to her left.

While she was still skilled, she was lacking something and Steve was happy to sit back on the defense and let her keep coming forward. She would pick up her technique soon enough, she just needed to get back into the swing of things.

Frustration grew on her face however when she realized that he wasn't sparring with her; he was just letting her attack. There was no challenge in that, no fun in training together.

She grit her teeth and took a leap at him, wrapping her legs around his torso to try and bring him down to the mat.

"Stop it." She grunted through gritted teeth when she flipped him far too easily.

"Stop what?" He asked, his landing too controlled for it to have been anything other than on purpose.

"Stop just letting me attack." She said as she brushed her hair out of her eyes, waiting for him to get up.

"You need to get your technique back under control." He replied as he got back to his feet. He watched her pant and wipe the sweat from her lip.

"I'd get it back faster if I had a challenge." She bit and he sensed the annoyance rolling off her in waves. He gave a small sigh of frustration.

"Can you just warm up first?" He asked, sensing that they boarding on another fight. She was so stubborn and so proud. He didn't want to hurt her but he would if she didn't slow down.

"I am warmed up." She bit, the scowl a permanent fixture on her brow. "Just fight back, Rogers." She hissed, giving him a good shove to the chest. He frowned at her, taking a step back not from force but fro surprise. She was fast losing her temper with him and he could see another fight on the horizon.

"If you want to train again you need to be smart about it." He folded his arms. She growled, stepping forward to shove him a second time.

"I am being smart about it. I know my limits."

"Your old limits." Steve countered. "Your limits are different now. You've been injured. You can't just jump back in an expect to – " He gave a grunt, swatting her hands away as she went in for a third attack. "be the same. Stop _shoving_ me, Aurora." He snapped, grabbing her hands and pulling her close.

"Stop treating me like I'm going to break." She snapped back, anger blazing in her eyes. "I just wanted to train with you like we used to but you can't even pretend to think of me as an equal now!"

Steve's eyes widened and his grip tightened around her wrists. It was like a slap in the face. He didn't know how many times he had to tell her that he didn't see her as anything less than an equal but he was done with it. If she wanted a fight, she'd get it and the consequences would be on her.

"You know I see you as an equal." He said coolly, his fingers tightening around her wrists. "Stop being stupid."

"I know you _don't_. You think that I'm this weak, little girl who can't defend herself because she was stupid enough to get caught and used as leverage – " Her voice cracked and she breathed in hard.

"I'm fairly sure that's how _you_ see yourself." He interjected, but she continued on over the top of him.

"You won't even _fight_ me because you think I'm so damn weak –"

"I won't fight you because you're _injured_! You've _been_ injured and you have to relearn everything you knew but you won't listen to me." Steve exclaimed, letting her hands go and pacing to the far side of the ring. She was infuriating and he didn't know if she really couldn't see the full picture or if she was purposely ignoring it, but he had had enough. If she didn't want to see that she was injured then he would show her.

He pinched his nose. "You know what I saw while you were attacking? You had to change your kicks from right to left, which threw off your balance _and_ your punches. You had to figure this out on the fly and you did, _but_ _now_ you have to _practice_ what you just taught yourself."

"but I still did it, on the fly." She pointed out, sounding a little smug and he grit his teeth. She wasn't going to give this up and he was sick of trying to verbally explain it.

" _Fine,_ " He bit out "If you want me to play hard ball then that's what you get."

He raised his fists and gave her all of two seconds to ready herself before he launched into an attack. He drove forward, his fists landing half the time as she defended. It took her a couple of seconds to orient herself and finally she started to drive him back, countering his hits with lethal kicks that, when they landed, left a sting.

It wasn't until she feinted right but went left that he blocked her and stepped to her right, his hand coming down hard on her thigh. She cried out as her knee buckled and she hit the mats but he stepped away, turning to bring the next attack.

Rory rolled over the mats and sprang to her feet, relying heavily on her left leg for support. Steve dove down, his feet coming to sweep at hers and she jumped over them. Her knee buckled again on the landing and he landed a blow against her lip and cheek that had her sprawling to the other side of the ring.

Her blood boiled as blood trickled from her lip and she wiped it on the back of her hand. She struggled to her feet for half a second and any sane person would have given up, but she was determined to hold her own against him. She had asked for this and through the pain she would win – or she would go down with one hell of a fight.

He lunged for her waist and hooked a leg around her bad knee, applying a slight amount of pressure so that it half buckled again.

She cried out, spinning out of his grip and jerking his arm awkwardly to the left away from him. She hit the mats hard for the third time in as many minutes but rolled to her feet before he could say a word.

He stepped back than, catching a second of breath and she took the opportunity to drive at him and she aimed a high kick at his jaw. He saw her coming, dropping down under her foot so she used his knee as a step and jumped high, her feet slamming into his shoulder's hard enough that he lost his balance and fell back against the mats.

She landed on his torso, knees either side of his ribs and she smiled triumphantly down at him.

"I got you." She said, breathing hard from the exertion.

"No you didn't." Steve shook his head once before he grabbed her by the upper arms and flexed his hips, rolling them both sideways. He ended up above her, pinning her in place with his thighs, hips and hands. "You favor your right leg too much. It left you open for attacks on your left. You were sloppy and the more frustrated you got the more mistakes you made." He said flatly and she scowled. " _This_ is why relearning what you're doing is important because if you do rejoin SHIELD – _when_ –" He corrected himself, thinking about what Clint had said, " _when_ you rejoin SHIELD, I want you to be prepared and I want to know that you will be ok with handling whatever is thrown your way. Understood?" He didn't let her answer before he let her up, shaking his head and pacing to the far side of the ring. His heart was in his throat and he felt sick. He was really letting her do this. He was really going to let he go back without a fight. Anxiety filled his chest and he pinched the skin on his hips to calm down.

Rory sat up and stared at him in stunned silence for a long moment.

 _When_. He'd said _when_ she returned to SHIELD. It was the permission that she wanted, the permission that would mean she could talk to him and ask for advice and she didn't have to sneak around behind his back anymore. No more fighting or arguing …

"I'm sorry, _when_?" She asked, rising to her feet gingerly. Her knee was throbbing with pain and she didn't want to admit he was right but she knew he was.

He turned to her, his hands on his hips and he nodded.

"You're going to join with or without me. I'd rather I know about it so I can help you." He explained with a resigned shrug. "If you need it." He added with a wince. He was probably expecting another fight at his words but instead she grinned.

"Thank you." She breathed, her heart tight with happiness. She never thought something could make her so happy but it had. His support and his help meant the world to her. She knew that this was hard for him and she said so.

"I'm just sick of fighting with you, doll." He said simply. "It's not that I don't trust you or your abilities… I just don't trust anyone else to keep you safe."

Rory walked across the ring to him and took his hands. She pulled herself into him, one hand coming up to rest on his jaw. She met his gaze head on, losing herself in the depths of the blue.

"At the end of the day, none of us are safe. We just have to stick together and do what we can." She said simply. "We're all at risk and even if I wasn't with SHIELD I would still be at risk just by wearing this ring." She held up her hand and felt his fingers tighten around her hips. "But your support is appreciated and you couldn't make me happier right now." She pulled his head down to her for a kiss and felt a weight lift off her shoulders.

She pulled away after a long moment and shot him a wicked grin.

"So are we going to keep sparring or what?" She winked at him, dropping her hands to his hips to give him a small shove.

"Are you going to listen to what I'm saying or are you going to keep getting hurt?" He asked, bringing a hand up to swipe his thumb across her busted lip. It was already healing over thanks to the boost of serum in her blood now and for that he was glad.

She laughed, shaking her head and turning away as she walked across the ring. She stretched her arms, tightening her ponytail as she turned.

"Depends if you're going to keep fighting me or if you're just going to let me win." She countered. Her knee still hurt but she could deal. In a real situation no one would be stopping to wait for it to be ok.

"Not a chance. You're so adamant that you want a fight, I'll give you a hell of a fight doll." He huffed, watching her set herself up. She was long and lean and so beautifully his. God he loved her, more than he ever thought possible.

He gave her small instructions as they fought but he didn't go easy. Twice he had her on the mats but she landed more hits than he wanted to admit. The longer they went the better she was getting and it made him proud, but distracted. He'd always loved his women strong and Rory besting him was making his heart thunder and his blood boil.

"Pay attention!" Rory exclaimed as she managed to smack him across the face for the second time in as many minutes. She laughed and retreated and Steve rubbed his cheek.

"You're distracting me," He admitted with a grin, catching a second of breath. He sprang to an attack but she was ready for him, deflecting his fists to the side and hooking her ankle around his, his momentum sending him crashing to the ground. She followed him down, landing triumphantly on his torso, knees either side of his ribs and she gave a laugh.

"How am I distracting you?" She placed a hand against his chest and his hands instinctively came up to her thighs.

"I'm attracted to pretty dames who can best me in a fight." He shrugged, his lips pulling up in a smirk. She laughed again, swatting his chest.

"It's almost like you're letting me win."

"It's almost like you're cheating." He countered and her mouth dropped open in surprise.

"No, I would be cheating if I did this." She grabbed the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head, leaving her seated on him in just her tight shorts and green sports bra. He gave a groan and she gave a grin.

"That's not fair." He protested as she rolled off him, springing to her feet gracefully.

"You gotta beat me if you want me." She challenged, turning her back on him as she walked away.

"You sure you want to do that, doll?" He asked, climbing to his feet and watching her every move.

She just smiled in response, curling her fingers in a 'bring it on' gesture and he wasted no time in sprinting toward her. He was on the attack now, her challenge spurring him on to concentrate and he threw his weight around like he owned the ring. Every time she thought he was doing one thing, he grabbed her and did another, picking her up and tossing her like a ragdoll.

There was a moment of time when he was trying to wrestle her to the ground and she was straining from effort to hold them both up that she realized she would have to play dirty to stop him from winning. She snaked her arms between them, letting her palms cup the hard length in his pants and he gave a surprised huff, his eyebrows shooting to his hairline.

It distracted him long enough that she could hook her foot around his ankle again and throw him off balance and just like she'd expected, he went crashing again to the mats, pulling her down on top of him. She straddled him triumphantly, grinning down at the sprawled superhero beneath her.

They stayed motionless for a moment, staring at each other. They were covered in sweat; their chest heaving and Rory thought he had never looked better. This Adonis of a man was hers and hers alone and she couldn't help herself as she leaned down to kiss him.

He let out a growl, tangling his fingers in her hair forcing her harder against him. She let out a soft moan and his hips bucked up to meet hers, his hard length hit her core and she made the sound again. Steve's free hand pushed on the waistband of her shorts and she fumbled with getting her hands under his shirt. They broke apart for only a second, long enough to shed what little they were wearing and then he was in her, her soft walls squeezing him tightly as she sat above him.

Her skin was flushed and glistening and she'd never looked better. He loved the way she moved, her breasts bouncing and her hips flexing as she rode him hard and fast. His fingers left their mark on her thighs, small circles where he held on tightly. He let her leg go to press his thumb between their bodies and her eyes squeezed shut as she ground her cunt down on him, the extra friction pressed against her clit sending her crashing over the edge. Her movements slowed and she slumped forward, letting him catch her against his chest.

He peppered her face in soft kisses as he tested the waters by bucking up into her. She gave a gasp and fused their lips, her body rolling as she let him do it again. He couldn't hold on much longer, not after their fighting – both verbal and sparring. This was how they were making up. This was their apology to each other.

Twice he tried to flip them so he could fuck her into the mats of the boxing ring but she pressed his shoulders harder into the floor, enjoying the dominance being on top gave her. She met his gaze as she leant back, her cunt fluttering around him again as her head dropped back in ecstasy. It was all he needed to come and, with a string of curses, he unloaded into her with a few jerky thrusts of his hips.

She fell against his chest again, curling herself into his arms, breathing heavily but very contented. Steve held her tightly. He loved her. He was so afraid of losing her because he loved her. He'd lost too much in his lifetime but he knew he had to support her joining SHIELD, even if it killed him.

"You good?" He asked after she'd been silent a long moment and he felt her nod.

"I'm good." She replied. "I love you." She lifted her head, her eyes a bright amber color against the flush that was high on her cheeks.

"I love you, a helluva lot doll." He smiled. He hissed as she unseated herself from him and his cock slid out of her. "We should hit the showers."

"We should." She agreed. "Here or at home?"

Steve looked around at the darkening gym. It was a miracle no one had stopped by in the middle of that. He didn't want to risk it with round two.

"Home. It's more comfortable anyway." He reached for her clothes and she took them, starting to dress. He wasn't sure how he got so damn lucky with her but he hoped it never ended. Her time with SHIELD would pass one day, but her time with him was never ending he was sure.

* * *

Rory's palms sweated as she approached the door to Nick Fury's office in the new SHIELD offices on the Lower West Side. After not hearing anything from him for weeks after submitting her application, she'd received a text message with this address and nothing else. There was no indication as to what it might mean, no clue if she still had a job or not.

This was it; the final test. Everything she'd been fighting for the past 4 months came down to this. Was she crazy to be going back so soon? Yes, she was, she knew that… But she felt better than she ever had, the serum in her veins making her feel stronger and ready for anything. Having Steve's backing and support helped more than she could ever say as well and just knowing that he knew she was here doing this made her feel lighter and less stressed.

She wasn't expecting much when she knocked on the door to the office. She knew that she may have only been there to be told _not yet_ but she still had to try. Nerves coursed through her body, making her stomach churn and her hands shake as she entered Fury's new office.

It was a nice office, big and spacious with a wall of windows that overlooked Central Park on one side. Opposite that window as a wall of monitors that displayed various things that Rory only glanced at before they went blank as she walked past.

She kept her eyes on Fury and waited until he looked up.

"Agent Dugan, I'm glad you're here." He said finally, placing his pen carefully on the desk beside the paperwork he'd been filling out.

"Did you think I wouldn't come?" She asked, smirking lightly.

"I had small doubts." He shook his head. "I know how much sway Captain Rogers has over you and I am very aware of how he doesn't want you back so soon."

Rory sucked in a deep breath.

"Well, as fond as I am of Captain Rogers… coming back is for my own personal gain and has nothing to do with him." She smiled. "Besides, he's grudgingly supporting my decision. He knew I would do it with or without him."

"I'm glad to hear it because I have a mission for you." He leant forward, siding a file across to her and Rory fought to keep the look of surprise off her face.

She wasn't expecting to even be reinstated so soon, let alone given a mission right off the bat. Her mind flew to several different places as she waited for Fury to continue. What kind of mission? Was she really ready? What if her family was right and she couldn't do this? Doubt started to creep at her from all sides but she kept her face blank and pushed it all away. She had to prove to them she could.

"I want you to find more Hydra agents within other counter-terrorism agencies across the world." The statement was simple but loaded and Rory didn't know what to say first.

" _World_?" She exclaimed, reaching for the file on the desk. She sat in the chair as she opened it.

"This is a deep undercover mission, Dugan. I would have you in Australia to start with to see what you could find." Fury continued. Rory's eyes scanned the file in her hands. Several intelligence agencies across the globe had been flagged as targets and he wanted her to travel to all of them. She felt breathless. This was a big mission.

"You think Hydra is world wide?" She asked, hoping her voice was steady enough.

"I'm hoping not but we have ties across the globe. If we've been infiltrated, chances are someone else has as well." Fury nodded and Rory looked down at her file.

Australia. He wanted her to go to Australia first and work up from there. It made sense – an island nation in bottom of the world; what better place to set up shop and let Hydra breed?

But it was so far away. Why would he send her somewhere so far from home?

"All due respect, sir. Why me?" She cleared her throat, closing the file on her lap.

"You're in the perfect position right now to move around. If I reject your application to rejoin today, you are well within your rights to move to another agency."

"So you're setting me up to look like I quit SHIELD and left?" She asked, her eyebrows knitting in confusion.

"Yes, you transferred to the Australian Secret Intelligence Service. That's the best cover for you." He nodded. Rory frowned as she processed what he was saying. It wouldn't look out of place if she quit SHIELD because she wasn't reinstated. Anyone who knew her knew how important this was to her, how hard she was working to repair her life.

The only problem was Hydra knew who she was. She was a SHIELD legacy. They would see her coming a mile off and they would hide themselves well. It didn't make sense for her to be the one to take this undercover mission and she said so to Fury.

He let out a sigh and rubbed a hand over his face.

"I anticipated this and I see it this way – you need to give them a reason to believe that you have cut ties completely from all of this." He waved a hand, a wild gesture.

"This?" She asked, her eyebrows knitting together.

"SHIELD. Your family. Captain Rogers. All of it. You want in so badly and I want to give you this mission. It just has to be believable." Fury gave her a serious look and Rory's stomach dropped. "I know it's asking a lot –"

"You're damned right it is!" She exclaimed, blinking rapidly. Her dream of returning to SHIELD was crumbling before her eyes. His price was too high and she wondered if this was all on purpose: to give her a price she would have to refuse. It sounded like something her _grandfather_ would dream up and her temper flared. "Give me something else. Anything else. I'll take _desk_ work over this –"

"I need you for this." Fury shook his head.

"So it's this mission or nothing."

"Correct. You will not be reinstated within SHIELD for the time being if you don't take this mission." His words hung in the air and Rory felt like she had ice in her veins.

"I'm literally getting married to Captain America." She pointed out, squeezing her left hand tightly with her right, the file slipping from her knees to land on the floor. "Hydra aren't exactly going to want to buddy up to me and I don't know how I can make us breaking up credible to anyone who knows us."

Fury shuffled some papers on his desk, pushing them off of a simple manila folder with her name printed in the margin. A classified stamp was splattered across the front, the red ink screaming at her like a beacon.

"I know there is one thing that will help. It took me a long time to track it down. Your grandparents, and I think even Steve, are very good at covering things up." He cleared his throat, smoothing his hands across the cover.

She couldn't take her eyes off it now, the curiosity burning like wildfire. What could be in there that was so classified that Nick Fury had to work hard to access it?

She could feel his eyes on her as he slid the folder across the mahogany desk. She reached for it, her fingers curling around the cardboard and she hoped he couldn't see her shaking. He pulled it back at the last second and she looked up and met his gaze.

"Think very carefully before you pull this thread, Aurora." His voice was soft and it made Rory nervous. "You are not going to like what you find but it will make you perfect for the job I have for you."

Rory swallowed, pulling the folder tightly into her body.

"I will think about it." She nodded, her heart beating wildly in her chest. Her mind was a swirling mess of _what if's_ and _maybe's_. There were questions that she didn't even know existed, with answers that were right under her fingertips.

Whatever was in the file would destroy her life; she had the sense enough to feel what was coming. If she opened the file and found the truth she would take the job. Maybe she wouldn't open it yet. She should really discuss with Steve, maybe they would work things out and they could fake everything.

Even as the thought passed through her mind she dismissed it. He would _never_ want her to go so far away and there was no way he could go with her. Fury was right – this was a job for one person only and she was in the position to quit SHIELD if they didn't reinstate her. Everyone knew her drive; it wouldn't be too much to ask people to believe she'd joined another agency.

This was her price: her job or her lover?

She sat in a taxicab with the file weighing heavily on her knees. What could possibly be in this file that made her perfect for the job. She didn't know and she opened the cover gingerly.

The photos made her sick and her hands shook as she read through the file. The words on the page made her want to burn Hydra to the ground. That bastard had beaten her, tortured her and tried to dissect her all to seek revenge on her grandfather and to destroy the person she loved.

The more she looked at what had been done, the more she wanted to take this job. Steve would either just have to live with it or they would really be done. Her heart broke at the thought but she couldn't just let this go. Her decision was made. She would take the mission.

She was just collecting the folder together, making her argument up in her mind when a slip of paper fell out and landed on the floor of the cab. She picked it up, the words on the page not making any sense the first time she read it.

 _ **Early Pregnancy Loss**_

 _ **Confirmation of Miscarriage and Notice of Right to Fetal Death Certificate**_

 _This is to certify that Aurora Sarah Dugan (woman's name) had a positive pregnancy test on 10/08/2012._

 _That_ _was_ _/was not confirmed as an intrauterine pregnancy by an ultrasound._

 _On 10/08/2012 Aurora Dugan:_

 _Had a miscarriage of a 9-week fetus that was delivered with no sign of life. The miscarriage was not the result of the purposeful termination of a pregnancy._

 _Miscarriage result of undue stress and physical harm._

She sat back on her heels, her ears ringing loudly as the breath left her lungs.

"You alright there ma'am?" The driver glanced at her in the rearview mirror. "You're not gonna be sick, are ya?"

"N-no…" She shook her head, tucking the paper back into the folder.

"You sure? You've gone very pale." He cleared his throat, peering out of the windshield. "Only a coupl'a blocks to go…"

"I'm fine." She took a deep breath and focused on the world outside of the window. The one that wasn't shattering around her.

It took all of her control to hold it together as she paid for the cab and stood in front of the home she shared with the man who might have lied to her. Fury said that it was her grandparents and Steve who had made this file so dam hard to retrieve. Why would he have done that if he hadn't known? A choked sob left her lips and she clutched at her sides as she struggled to breathe.

She'd been pregnant. She'd held life inside her body and it had been lost. She'd never even known and he had. It was all too much.

Stomach acid burned her throat as she climbed the steps to her door. It took her a few goes to get the key in the lock and then she pushed the door open but didn't enter.

 _He didn't know_ , she told herself. _He doesn't know. You have to believe he doesn't know._

"That you, doll?" He called through the house and she sucked in a breath.

"Yeah, it's me." She replied, trying to keep her voice steady. Bis came running, his tail wagging happily and she placed a hand on his head.

"What's the matter?" Steve asked. She heard his footsteps move through the house rapidly and within seconds he was before her, scooping her into his arms. "What's wrong sweetheart?" He murmured against her hair.

Her whole body shook as he held her and she repeated to herself that he knew nothing about what had happened.

"I… We were…. Did you _know_?" Words failed her but the question that burned on her tongue escaped her throat with a choked sob.

"Know what?" He asked, pushing her away so he could see her face. She felt him wipe her cheeks but she raised the folder and pushed it against his chest.

"Did you know?" She said again. She felt like she was going to pass out. Why had they kept this from her? It was killing her slowly from the inside. She'd carried life inside her for 9 brief weeks and she hadn't even known. There had been signs but she'd figured she was getting the flu but now it all made sense.

A panicked expression crossed Steve's face when he looked down upon the file. That was the only answer she needed and her stomach dropped so hard she had to double over as nausea threatened to empty the contents of her stomach.

"Where did you –"

"You _knew_." She pushed him away, betrayal seeping like ice through her veins. She felt cold and she shook so hard her teeth clicked together. She couldn't get enough air into her lungs and her vision swam. "You knew I was pregnant."

"I did know but we didn't tell you because it would have been too much." He continued to talk but she barely heard him over the ringing in her ears. Her hands went to her stomach as a wave of inertia passed over her.

"You were about 9 weeks along. Your body had to compromise." He echoed the words on the sheet of paper in her hands. "Your job did that to you –"

Rory held up her hand to silence him as the world spun.

"So not only are you trying to control my life but you _lied_ to me?" She looked at him with disgust. "You deliberately didn't tell me I was pregnant because you thought I couldn't handle it. How _dare_ you!" Her voice was loud but it shook like she'd never heard it before. "How _dare_ you assumed you know what's going on in _my_ head, Steve." She spat, her fingers curling into the fabric of her shirt over her stomach, digging into the soft flesh there.

"Sweetheart, we figured it would be best." He reached for her but she pulled away.

"STOP THINKING YOU KNOW WHAT'S BEST." She shrieked at him, backing away from him. "You don't know what's best for me. You never have. If I hadn't been taken, how long would it have been before you started telling me what I could and couldn't do? Hmm?" She sneered at him, her lip curling in disgust. "I hate you. I hate you and I hate Peggy and I hate Dugan."

The words came from her mouth before she could stop them but she spit so much venom with them that he physically recoiled.

 _Pregnant. I was Pregnant._ The words repeated over and over in her head and the room spun around her. She gulped down deep lungful's of air and before she knew it, Steve was in front of her trying to get her to sit on the ground.

"Get the fuck away from me." She spat, shoving him hard in the ribs. "I don't ever want you to come near me again, you hear me?" She couldn't see where he was through her blurred vision but that was probably for the best. If she'd seen the broken look on his face she probably would have stayed.

As it was she didn't see. Instead she pushed past him, right back out of the door she'd just come through. It slammed behind her and she prayed he wouldn't follow.

She took off down the street at a run, ignoring the way the cold air burned her lungs.

She was numb inside, too disgusted to feel anything.

She hopped a cab at the end of the street, knowing he'd be following her any minute. She took it to Arthur's house and in the blink of an eye she was hammering on his door, needing him to open up and tell her that he hadn't known.

"What in the bloody – Aurora?" Arthur opened the door with wide and surprised eyes. She fell into his arms, sobbing against his chest.

"Please tell me you didn't know?" She breathed as he tugged her inside and closed the door.

"Jesus love, you're freezing. Where are you shoes and your jacket?" He rubbed her arms.

"Arthur! Please, tell me you didn't know I was pregnant."

Arthur froze and they both almost tumbled over.

"You were what?" His voice was so soft that she knew immediately he hadn't known.

"They kept it from me; Steve, Peggy, Dugan…" She rattled off names and sobbed in between. "I was pregnant." A small laugh left her lips. "I was pregnant and they didn't tell me."

Arthur's grip tightened on her shoulders and he blinked in surprise. He tugged her closer to the fire, seating them both on his sofa.

"I… that's…. what the _fuck_?"

She nodded. "That doesn't even begin to cover what I'm feeling right now."

"They kept it from you?"

"I'm so sorry, love." He pulled her into his side and kissed her temple. "Do you know why?"

"Steve said it was for my benefit." She replied, her voice small and sad. Her face screwed up again and she started sobbing all over again. "I can see why." She reasoned after am minute. "I can see _why_ but that doesn't make it ok. They _lied_ to me! _Again_!" She realized with a cold sweat.

"Too right it is. Bloody hell, how long were you sleeping with Steve for if you were pregnant. – OW!" Rory thumped his arm.

"Not the time." She growled and he chuckled.

"I'm sorry love. Really I am." He murmured against her hair.

They sat like that in silence for a minute until her phone rang in her hand.

 _Grandma Calling_.

She was tempted to send it to voice mail, tempted to ignore it. She was furious with her grandparents. Did they think she was stupid? Did they honestly think she would never find out? After the lies they'd kept from her her entire life she had no idea how they thought not telling her about her own pregnancy was a good thing to do.

She picked up the call.

"What?" She snapped, not even sure why she was answering.

" _Aurora, I am so sorry you had to find out like this_." Her grandmother's voice was also broken and she knew she'd been crying too. Steve must have called her and told her everything.

"Sorry I had to find out at all? How long were you going to keep this from me?" She asked, her voice taking on a hysterical edge again. Arthur squeezed her shoulders. "How long, Grandma? I can't believe you'd _do_ this to me!"

" _Please Aurora, we did it because we wanted to protect you…"_

"Protect me from what?!" She shrieked, the sobs coming again. She was grateful for Arthur's warmth because she wasn't sure she could do this alone.

" _Yourself, my darling. You'd been through so much. You almost died. We,_ I _, decided that it was best if you didn't know. At least not right away_." Peggy's voice shook as she spoke.

"When would be the right time to bring that up?" Rory mumbled in response. "Honestly, when would you have a chance to bring that up? That's not something that will be taken lightly no matter if I'm told right after I died or right now."

" _I wasn't thinking about that at the time."_ Peggy cried softly. If Aurora's heart hadn't already been broken it would have then. " _Please, hate me all you want but don't hate Steve,_ "

"Steve can go to hell." Aurora snarled. "He's lied to me, tried to control me, I… I hate him." Her voice was full of venom and her body shook.

" _You don't mean that –"_

"I damn well do and right now, I hate you. I hate you so much that I don't think I will ever see you again."

"Steady on, love." Arthur murmured against her temple. "That's your grandma…"

Peggy let out a gasp and a sob and there was a muffled sound as the phone was dropped.

Then it was picked up.

" _Aurora, sweetheart come home. We need you to come home._ " Her grandfather, whose voice had once filled her with such love and pride only made her lip curl.

"Go to hell." She muttered before she clicked off the phone.

"Are you sure that was the right thing to do?" Arthur asked in a quiet voice.

"Yes." She replied tersely, dropping the phone on the coffee table. She sat for a moment and thought about what her next move was. This was it. This was the perfect reason to take the mission Fury had on offer. That was the only reason he'd dug up her medical file, after all. He had known they were hiding something that would tear them apart and he was right.

"What's going on in your head, love?" Arthur broke the silence, tapping her on the side of the head. She turned and looked at him, sucking in a deep breath.

"I've been offered a mission to go undercover and find Hydra and I think I'm going to take it." She said with a steady voice. She knew what she had to do now. She knew why she was perfect for it. Once word got out that she hated her family and everything SHIELD stood for, Hydra would find her. They would claim her as a victory. It could take months or years but she had nothing left here now anyway. What did it matter?

"Don't be silly." Arthur muttered, shaking his head.

"It's literally perfect. Fury was right –"

"Fury?" Arthur snarled. "Fury probably orchestrated this for his own gain. Don't you dare be so daft and take this mission. It's dangerous."

"There's a chance Hydra won't even bite!"

"There's a chance they will." Arthur grabbed his friend by the tops of her arms and stared right into her pretty eyes. "You're in no state of mind to be double crossing anyone, love. Please, please don't take the mission."

She smiled at him, her hands coming up to cup his face. "I really am Arthur. I'm more than ok." She swallowed. "I can't stay here. I can't trust him." She looked at the engagement ring on her finger and shuddered. "I can't trust my family. I want to work. It's the only thing I know that I can 100% do."

Arthur took her hands.

"Can I join you on the mission? Help you out?" He asked hopefully and Rory was struck by just how much the silly man loved her. Not romantically but he would go into a mission blind to make sure she was ok.

"I don't think you can." She shook her head, looking up at him. Her eyes brimmed with tears again. "It's in Australia –."

" _Australia!?_ "

"- and I couldn't pull you away from Darcy like that. –"

"You _can't_ go to Australia! Don't be so –"

"I'll be ok. I promise." She squeezed his hands, smiling at him. It was settled. This was what she was going to do. "I can't stay here."

Arthur ran his hand through his sandy colour hair and gave a groan.

"Australia is a bit far away, love." He tried to reason but she shook her head.

"But Arthur, don't you see? Hydra will want me now and I can tear those bastards apart from the inside." Rory replied fiercely. Arthur squeezed his eyes shut.

"Please, love. If you do this, promise me you'll ask for help if you need it?" He begged and she grinned. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He was her knight in shining armor as he had always been. She loved that silly Brit more than anything else.

"If you're on my team, Arthur then of course I will but you can't tell a soul." She kissed his cheek, the sorrow in her chest lifting with the prospect of her mission. She leant back, pulling out her phone.

"You're asking me to lie to my family." He said in a soft voice and she paused.

"I know and I'm sorry." She nodded, her finger poised over the buttons. "But you can't. They'll blow my cover. I can't fail this, Arthur." She shook her head, watching as he thought about what she was saying. She held her breath. She was asking him to do something he would never in a million years want to do. She felt like the worst person in the world.

He let out sigh.

"They've lied to you more times than I can ever count and look where it got you?" He looked defeated, as if struggling with the idea that she was right. "I won't tell them unless I have to, ok? If you're in trouble or you need my help, I'm going to them immediately." He stared her down as if waiting for the argument but she nodded once.

"That's ok." She agreed and hit dial on her phone.

It rang only once.

"Fury. I accept my mission." She said with a slight excitement in her voice. "When can I leave?"

* * *

"Peg, it's Steve." His voice was strained when Peggy had picked up the phone. Aurora had been out of the door for 10 minutes and he'd been 5 minutes too late to catch her. He had no idea where she'd gone and he didn't know what else to do.

" _Steve? What's going on?_ " Peggy knew something was up the moment he opened his mouth. Her voice was tense and worried, not one ounce of confusion there at all.

"Aurora knows." He muttered. He heard Peggy gasp. He didn't have to explain any more than that.

" _How_?"

"She had an intact file. Didn't tell me where she got it but my bet is on Fury." Steve's lungs felt devoid of air. His life was shattered. She hated him and she had every right to. He'd lied to her. Kept something so personal from her. Now he paid the price.

" _Where is she now?_ "

"I don't know. She's not answering my calls. She disappeared out the door and I was going to give her some space so I didn't follow her." He let out a small laugh, as bitter and as cold as the winter day around him. "She's mad as hell. Madder than I've ever seen her." His eyes stung. "She hates me Peg."

" _She doesn't hate you. She's mad, but she doesn't hate you."_ Peggy soothed but Steve shook his head.

"You didn't see her face. You didn't see her eyes. This is it, we're over." His heart was breaking. They'd been fighting so much in recent weeks, about everything and nothing all at once. The last two days had been better, since he'd relented and decided to help her rejoin SHIELD but the fighting had still happened and tensions were still high. This was the straw that broke the camels back and he hated himself for it.

" _Let me call her to talk to her. I'm sure I can figure something out… She'll either have gone to Beth or Arthur so check with them, ok_?" Peggy's voice brought him back and he nodded, glancing up and down their street again. " _It'll be ok, Steve._ "

As the line clicked off, he somehow doubted that.

A knock sounded at the door a little around 6 and he jumped to his feet, stumbling over them in his haste to get to the door. He threw it open, expecting to find Aurora but found Beth instead.

"Beth?"

"Steve I… have something for you." The woman said as she tugged on her scarf. In her hand was an envelope and Steve's heart stopped when he recognized the handwriting on the front. "It's from Aurora –"

"You've seen her!?" Steve asked, his eyes wide. Beth nodded, still standing uncertainly on the stoop.

"Yes, briefly. She gave me this, didn't stay, was gone before I could catch her..." She frowned as she held the envelope out. The question was evident on her face but she didn't ask. He didn't answer. Instead he just took the envelope with shaking fingers and held it tightly.

"Did you want to come in?" Steve asked absently and Beth chewed on her lip.

"Do you want me to?" She asked and he nodded. He had a feeling he didn't want to be alone when he read whatever letter she had send. Her pretty script was on the front of the envelope and just looking at that made his ears ring.

He went into the kitchen and stood by the bench. Beth stood opposite, chewing on her nail. The sound of ripping paper was loud and echoed around them. He sucked in a breath and pulled out the letter.

Something fell out and hit the floor with a tinkling clang as he ripped open the paper and he bent to pick it up.

His stomach dropped when his fingers closed over his mothers ring.

Tears blurred his vision as he looked at the paper.

 _Steve_ it started and it took him a minute to read further than that.

 _I feel like a coward writing this but I have no other choice. I didn't know whether I could articulate my feelings properly if I had to face you so I wrote them down. I'm trying very hard to understand why you thought keeping this from me was a good idea but right now I just can't. Maybe one day I will but I'm hurt and angry and I feel betrayed. You were supposed to be on my side. You were supposed to be the one who never kept things from me but your loyalties still remain with my grandparents and that hurts almost as much as finding out I was pregnant._

 _We lost a child. I lost a child and I had no idea. I feel like there's a hole in the middle of my heart that wasn't there before and I don't know how to fix it. I'm hoping time and distracting myself will help me._

 _Please don't come after me. I really need to be alone right now, far away from the horror that happened. Everytime I look at you I'm reminded about what we went through and I'm sure you are too. I think time will do us good. I know I'll miss you in time but I have to go and do what I need to do right now to heal._

 _You broke my heart. I wasn't lying when I said I hated you._

 _Your mother's ring is enclosed. It didn't feel right keeping it. So I guess you were right after all. I need to step away from SHIELD to clear my head and sadly this includes you._

 _I don't really know how to end this other than with I love you and keep yourself safe._

 _I'll be back when I'm ready._

 _Take care Steve,  
Always,  
Aurora._

It took him 5 tries to read the words and then another 10 to understand.

She was gone. She didn't say where or for how long but she was gone and she'd left behind his mothers ring because she didn't want to be with him anymore.

Hell, could he blame her?

He crumpled the paper up and tossed it aside, his fist closing around the ring. This was hurting him far more than he'd ever expected but he only had himself to blame.

"Steve?" Beth's small voice brought him back and he looked at her to find her face wet with tears, the letter in her hand. "She's gone, isn't she?" She asked, her voice wavering. "Why would you keep that from her?"

Steve nodded. "Because we thought it was the right thing to do." He said miserably. He hated himself. Well and truly hated himself and he was numb from head to toe.

"I'm so sorry, Steve." Beth wept before wrapping her arm around his middle and hugging him tightly. He stiffened in the embrace before emotions washed over him and he sagged. He needed this right now. He needed comfort and support or else he might do something reckless.

They stood like that for a few moments before he pulled away.

"C'mon, we need to go visit a few people to get to the bottom of this." He cleared his throat, dropping the ring onto the counter. He turned his back on it, giving Bis a quick pat on the head before grabbing the keys to his bike.

Beth followed him.

"Are you sure you want me to come?" She asked and he turned to her, handing her a helmet.

"I'm gonna be honest, Beth. If you don't I can't guarantee I'll be smart about things." He replied and her mouth fell open in a small 'O' of surprise.

"Right." She nodded slowly, tucking her dark curls under the helmet. "I don't think I'm qualified for this." She murmured as she swung her leg over the back of the bike. Steve gave a bark of a laugh.

"You're a Commando legacy. You're more than qualified, Jones."

He revved the engine and took off, his first destination: The new SHIELD offices on the Lower West Side.

He parked on the street and went inside, Beth following behind him. She was a sweet girl, Beth. Funny and kind, and he'd seen her strength often in the short time he'd known her. He was glad he wasn't doing this alone because he felt unstable. He felt lost. Aurora was gone and it was his fault. She was hurting, and it was his fault. He was responsible for what they were losing – or had lost.

His temper flared as he hammered on the door to Fury's office, Beth apologizing to the assistant at the desk as they blazed on past. Steve pushed the door open and went inside without waiting for a response, finding Fury behind his desk on the far side of the room.

"Captain Rogers, how nice of you to drop by." Fury deadpanned, looking up from whatever he was working on.

"Where is she, Fury?" Steve demanded, wasting no time in cutting to the chase.

"I'm assuming you're talking about Agent Dugan?" Fury asked and Steve's fists tightened. "Am I supposed to know?"

"Well I know she's been in contact with you recently about a job… The letter she left me told me she'd been to see you recently so yeah, I think you are supposed to know." Steve snapped, his arms crossed across his chest as he stared down at the man he'd once respected.

"Well I don't. She was here this morning and when I told her we couldn't reinstate her yet, she quit." Fury pushed a sheet of paper across the mahogany of the desk and Steve looked down at it.

She'd quit? He took the paper and sure enough it was a letter of resignation with her signature along the bottom. His frown deepened and he looked at Fury.

"Why?" He demanded.

"Like I said, I wouldn't give her the job back." Fury sighed, shaking his head. "I told her I couldn't reinstate her so soon. She needed to recover. She didn't take it well."

Steve sat on the chair, the wind out of his sails.

"Did you give her the medical file? The intact one?" He asked. Fury's eyes widened with surprise.

"She found a copy?" He asked and Steve's stomach fell.

"I don't know how but yes… and she knows and she hasn't taken it well." He admitted and Fury ran a hand over his head as he processed the news.

"That isn't good."

"No." Steve shook his head. "Beth delivered a message to me from her, telling me that she has to leave to figure out her priorities…"

"Where would she go?" Fury asked, pressing a few buttons on his desktop. The screens around them changed, a world map taking up the space.

"I honestly don't know. Can you put people on it? Try and find her?" He asked. He felt so helpless. He honestly had no idea where she would go. He was going to try and call her family to see if they'd heard from her but he doubted she would go to them. If she knew her grandparents had kept it from her, she might also think her siblings knew too. "I'm going to Stark next to see what he can do, or if he knows anything."

"Keep me updated please, Rogers." Fury nodded. "But I'm sure she'll be ok. She's not a dumb woman and she's never been prone to making mistakes."

"She's having a mental break, Fury. She's not going to be ok if she doesn't stop." He growled, harsher than he thought he'd be. "We need to find her."

He stood, sweeping out of the door and collecting Beth on the way.

"No luck?" She asked in a small, worried voice. Steve shook his head sharply.

"No. She quit SHIELD. Fury wouldn't reinstate her." Steve replied. Beth gasped.

"Where would she go?" She wondered aloud and Steve shrugged. He was absolutely at a loss as to where Aurora would run and in such a short amount of time as well. He would get to the bottom of this, he wouldn't rest until he did.

"I don't know but I'm going to start with Stark. Tony is always boasting that he can find anyone. Let's see him put his money where his damn mouth is."

* * *

"What do you mean, 'she's missing'?" Tony's brow was furrowed deeply as he looked up from the piece of armor he was working on. Steve had wasted no time in finding his friend in the labyrinth that was the tower, citing to Jarvis that if he didn't take him to Tony immediately he would tear the place apart. Jarvis' in built lie detector had signalled nothing but the truth in his voice so Jarvis had done as told.

"I mean, she went to Fury and quit her job and is now gone." Steve told him, not knowing how Tony would react to the actual reason as to why Aurora had left.

"What kicked this off?" Tony asked, straightening up. Steve let out a frustrated sigh.

"Can you find her, Stark, or not?"

"Sure. As soon as you tell me why she's suddenly disappeared." Tony shrugged a shoulder and leant against his workbench. Steve's fists clenched.

"Fury wouldn't let her have her job back so she quit." He said and Tony pulled a face.

"Yes but _what else_? She's not so volatile to just run away because someone said no." He asked, pointing out what they all already knew about the woman in question. Steve narrowed his gaze.

"None of your business. Now find her."

Tony sighed, folding his arms across his chest.

"What did you do?" He sighed, a smirk crossing his lips. Steve scowled.

"Nothing."

"Trust me, Rogers. Whatever you've done, I've done worse." Tony cracked a grin. Steve groaned. He only wished that were true. "She can't have gone far. Have you checked with her grandparents?"

"She's… not talking to them either." Steve admitted. He rubbed a hand over his face as Tony jerked in surprise.

"Wait, she's actually _gone_ gone? And she's not talking to you or her grandparents?" He asked, his voice instantly serious. "What the hell happened?"

"She… found out that she had a miscarriage… back when she was rescued." The pain in Steve's voice was very real and very raw and Tony was silent for a long moment. "The doc said her body had to compromise after everything it had been through. After she'd – " He couldn't finish his sentence and silence hung in the air.

"Why didn't you tell her?" He asked softly. There was no recognizable emotion in his words and Steve was glad he was remaining impassive for the moment.

"Because she was recovering. She had enough to comprehend with what happened to her to add to that." He replied, dropping his hands to his sides. "And then she found out. We fought, obviously, and she left."

"And you didn't go after her?" Tony sounded surprised. His hand fell heavily onto Steve's shoulders and Steve was grateful for the comfort.

"We've… fought before and she's left. She's usually ended up at Beth's –" He gestured to the silent woman behind them. Tony glanced at his colleague and friend who was waiting silently in the doorway.

"Have you seen her?" He asked and Beth shook her head.

"Yes, she dropped it off to me but she didn't stick around. I tried to follow her but she's fast and she was gone before I really figured it out." Beth replied. "I didn't know anything was wrong until I got to Steve's."

"Ok, so now we need to eliminate where she would be." Tony clapped his hands, rubbing them together. "Have you tried Arthur?"

"I tried to call." Beth replied and Steve glanced at her. "Just then, while you two were talking but I got his voice mail."

"Darcy?"

"I called her next. She hasn't seen her either." Beth shook her head.

Steve's stomach churned as he watched Tony pull up his computer to the big screen.

"Jarvis." He tapped the keys and Steve watched the screen change.

"Yes sir?"

"Track Agent Dugan's phone. She has a Stark Phone. I should be able to latch onto it." He explained. There was a moment of silence.

"Sir, it appears that the Stark Phone Agent Dugan has on her person has been disabled." Jarvis responded and Steve swore under his breath.

"Damn her." Tony muttered under his breath and he thought for a beat. "Credit cards, plane tickets, hell use traffic cams to scan for her number plate." He ordered the AI. Tony squeezed Steve's shoulder tightly again. "We'll find her. She can't have gone far. Missing since, what? 6? It's 8 now so that's 2 hours. Even driving she wouldn't make it too far. We'll find her Steve."

Steve nodded, his movements feeling stiff. He hoped she hadn't gone far. His world was shattering around him. He needed her back. Even if she didn't want him back, he just needed to know she was ok. That she was safe.

* * *

After 5 weeks, 2 days and 8 hours they came to a dead end. There was no paper trail to follow, no digital trail that Stark could tap into. She was gone. Natasha followed a lead that lead her to Fiji in the South Pacific but it came up cold. Agent Aurora Dugan was gone and no one could find her.

"You can't give up, Steve." Clint clapped a hand to his friends shoulder as they stood in the kitchen of the empty house Steve had sold.

"She wants to be left alone, Barton. I'm not giving up, I'm following her orders." Steve spat back, tipping up the beer bottle to drain it completely. He was grieving and lost but he was angry.  
Angry that she never gave him a chance to listen or explain.

Angry that she'd walked out on him again.

Angry that she was gone.

Angry that she hadn't made contact with anyone, not even her sisters or Arthur. She was just gone without a trace and he felt sick trying not to think about what might have happened to her.

"You're gonna keep looking, right?" Beth asked in a small voice, wiping her hands on a dishcloth.

"I'll keep looking but Aurora will be found when she wants to be found." He shrugged. "I'm not giving up I'm just waiting. Giving her the space she so desperately wants."

"How long do you think it'll take?" Tony asked, peering down at his phone. "I've got $100 on 6 months." Steve shot him a withering glare.

"$200 on a year." Clint spoke up after a minute and Tony grinned. Steve didn't find it funny. He would die if she were gone for a full year. He ran a hand over his face and walked through their home one last time before he left it.

He'd taken the offer with SHIELD to work out of D.C. as a consultant. He'd fly back to New York if he was needed with The Avengers but he had to keep himself occupied, he couldn't just sit and wither away waiting for her. SHIELD was offering him plenty to do and good pay to do it.

"She'll come back, Rogers." Natasha's voice was almost as soft as her footsteps as she approached him in the living room. She stood next to him, her arm coming around her waist and her head coming to rest on his shoulder. "I understand what she's going through, wanting to hide away and ignore the world. I did it once… So she will come back."

Steve sighed and rested his arm around his friends shoulders.

"How long were you gone for?" He asked.

"A year." She replied and Clint's bet made sense.

"Was he ok?" He asked, referring to Clint and Natasha knew this.

"He wasn't at first but then he was. It took time but he moved on. You will too." She looked up at him and smiled. "You've got a team and a family. You're not alone. You're both gonna be ok."

Steve took her promise to heart, nodding and dropping to press his lips to her hair.

Only time would tell what would happen with Aurora now and he wouldn't ever stop looking for her, but Natasha was right. He had his team and his friends and a family.

He wasn't alone.

* * *

Author's note:

That's it folks. For the first story at least. I will be taking a break to work on #2 and I've given myself a deadline of 4th July to have it done. I have twitter (at raeisawriter) for you to follow progress if you want. You're always welcome to shoot me a message here to ask how I'm doing.

Be sure to put me on author alerts too so you know exactly when it's out. I'm purposely left it on a cliffhanger so I have a reason to write the second one. I have big things in store for Aurora and Steve and I hope you come back for the next one.

Thank you for all your support, particularly ArmyDT42, Supesfan18 & Counting Sinful Stars. I enjoyed all of your reviews and I appreciated every single one of them. I know there are more reviewers than I'm remembering and please note I loved every single thing you guys had to say.

If you liked this story please please PLEASE share it around, tell people, tumblr it, tweet it and enjoy it. It means the world to me to know people like my writing. Thank you again and I promise I will be throwing up bits and pieces between this and the next. I have a few short stories I've worked on to have a bit of fun with.

Thanks again,

Rae.

at raeisawriter

Playlist:

Control - Halsey

Tear you Apart - She Wants Revenge

Ready or Not - Mischa "Book" Chillak

Dark Times - The Weekend, Ed Sheeran


End file.
